Dear Lake Oswego

*

*We acknowledge that there are no People of Color on our cover.

This photo was at the protest in Lake Oswego, the town in which we live and the town that has a negative culture towards People of Color. We see the irony in not having any People of Color on our front page, but instead of tokenizing those who were at the protest, we decided to simply choose the photo we liked best. Furthermore, the cover is deprived of color because we believe Lake Oswego is as well. Where’s the flavor? If LO was a spice it would be flour.

Author’s note We have chosen to capitalize “Black” because when we reference Black people, it goes beyond skin, acknowledging their culture and history as well.

We have chosen to capitalize “People of Color” because, similar to our choice about the word “Black,” we believe not capitalizing these terms contributes to the erasure of their experience and culture.

We have chosen to not capitalize “white” because when we refer to white people, we are identifying their skin.

We have chosen not to use the word “minority” except in specific reference to Lake Oswego, as People of Color are a global majority.

We have chosen not to use the word “womxn” because we believe the word is rooted in trans/non-binary exclusion, where we believe the term “woman” completely all encompasses any and all identifying women.

We have done our best to exclude any ableist language such as “crazy” or “insane” in an effort to restructure our language to be more inclusive and respectful of neuro-diverse individuals.

We are still learning and doing our best, and as we learn we will unlearn and revise.

A special thanks to Phyllis C, Rollin Dickinson, and Stephanie Leben.

We greatly appreciate the help and support you have provided.

This zine is dedicated to all the People of Color affected by the culture of Lake Oswego.

We stand with you.

Being

different

gives the world

color

Nelsan Ellis

What is this?

Color is a literary magazine with the goal of amplifying the voices of BIPOC students, along with bringing to light underrepresented perspectives in a majority-white, suburban school like LOHS. In addition, we want to introduce an anti-racist narrative that is desperately needed and put forth a normalcy of amplifying traditionally-marginalized creators and celebrities in an easily consumable medium. This is the second volume of “COLOR,� the first having been originally created by Phyllis C, Juliana S, and Kamala G in 2017.

If you are a Person of Color, particularly in LO, feel free to join us.

Dear reader, While consuming this magazine, please keep in mind we do not speak on behalf of any community and that we will and most likely have made many mistakes regarding our own internalized prejudices manifested somewhere in this magazine. We are constantly learning and altering our behaviors and attitudes to reject our euro-centric, patriarchal tendencies and we know that we still have a long way to go in terms of achieving true intersectional ally-ship as individuals and as a magazine. If you see something we did that is incorrect, offensive, or insensitive, please contact us and we will do our best to address it.

Thank you and please enjoy.

Table of C Highlight Reel

01

Tierra Umi Wilson

07

Letters to Lake Oswego

09

A community of virtue signaling

23

Poetry is more than rhyming lines

27

Contents 30

Love, Victor

31

Independence day... for whom?

33

Let’s talk riot justification

35

Queer movies for the gay in all of us

39

Behind the Zines

01

02

đ&#x;”˛ Cameron I & Barbara C

03

Alok Vaid-Menon

ALOK is a gender non-conforming writer and performer who specializes in using poetry, prose, and fashion to contradict gender norms and challenge the meanings of race and the human condition.

They are an outspoken activist and supporter of the LGBTQ+ community through their orations and performances. They are a Malaysian & Indian American and travel the globe performing speeches and serving looks.

I greatly recommend their poem, “Funeral.” All-in-all they’re a very beautiful human.

Aubrey Plaza

My favorite weirdo, Aubrey Plaza is a witch at heart (or at least that’s what her Twitter handle suggests @evilhag). From April Ludgate in “Parks in Rec,” to a slutty nun in “The Little Hours,” to a deranged psychopath Instagrammer in “Ingrid Goes West,” to literally playing Grumpy Cat, she has all the acting range anyone could ever possibly need. Besides being an actress, she’s also a bisexual, Puerto Rican-American woman, and an activist for Latina representation in Hollywood.

Love to see it.

04

Frank Ocean

Genre-bending R&B, pop music, hip hop and rap, he’s formed a new language of sound along with his other queer Black contemporaries like Tyler, the Creator and Steve Lacy. He’s been open about his past romances, falling in love with a man at 19 for example, and even has a bi-anthem to his name: “Chanel.” I mean, come on, “My guy pretty like a girl… See both sides like Chanel”? Basically, he’s a new kind of pretty celebrity who’s proud of his feminine and masculine identity, and we stan.

Hayley Kiyoko

Once known as Stella, a bisexual “determinating” queen, in the classic 2011 Disney flick “Lemonade Mouth,” Hayley Kiyoko is more commonly known today as a proud queer singer & songwriter. Besides her liberating synth pop and dream pop music, she’s also inspiring for her impeccable style with platinum blond hair, a punk attitude, and general cool factor. With her music and her acting, she’s vocal about creating more representation for queer AAPI creators, as well as normalizing the intersectionality of LGBTQ+ POC.

05

Ellarie Noel

Ellarie is a Black beauty YouTuber and entrepreneur. She has a collab line of products with Colorpop, but outside of that she runs her own online clothing store called “Steelo”. On her YouTube channel, she delivers flawless makeup and charm in all her videos.

Her wholesome content with her daughter as well as her high-end makeup looks and tutorials draw in viewers from all backgrounds.

Mxmtoon

Maia, better known as mxmtoon, is a singer who rose to fame because of her comedy and dancing TikTok videos. She’s known for her hit song “Prom Dress”, but outside of music she uses her platform as an entertainer, posting funny TikToks and streaming her playing video games. She’s a biracial, bisexual singer that releases phenomenal music and uses her platform for good influence by raising awareness on world issues.

Kyne Santos

Filipino-Canadian Drag Queen Kyne rose to fame after being announced as a contestant on Canada’s Drag Race (the Canadian version of Rupaul’s Drag Race). Kyne caught my attention through her TikToks explaining calculus-level math. Her admirable energy and vast knowledge in mathematics allow her to be a phenomenal content creator.

06

Sofia Wylie

Daytime Emmy-nominated actress Sofia Wylie most recently gained attention as the sassy ace, Gina Porter, in Disney+’s original show High School Musical: The Musical: The Series”. She started her career as a dancer and performed on So You Think You Can Dance. She’s a star to look out for as she starts to join big companies such as IMG Models. Currently, she will be starring and producing upcoming indie film The Fall of Innocence based off Jenny Torres Sanchez’s book of the same title.

07

Tierra Umi Wilson

To put it simply Umi lives in my mind rent-free.

Umi’s one of the most talented songwriters that I have ever listened to. The half-African, half-Japanese artist brings a new spirit of self-discovery into music. Using simple lyrics combined with lo-fi beats into addictive songs. Her spirituality in approach to life and music makes her content so charming to her audience.

Her latest EP Introspection is a look into the young artist’s mind as she explores love, family, and race. The EP opens with the title song “Introspection�, which she notes as a look into her brain using velvety melodies. Her second track “Open Up� follows the artist as she comes to terms with an ending relationship and the feelings of guilt and freedom that come with it. Her second single from the EP “Pretty Girl hi!� is one of my all-time favorites as Umi sings about exploring her insecurities and self-love as she grows into her features. The EP closes with “Broken Bottles� a light approach as she opens up about her relationship with her father and substance abuse. Overall,

whoisumi/Instagram

đ&#x;”˛ Barbara C

the EP delivers wisdom and good vibes in 6 songs.

Her music creates a welcoming environment as it’s similar to reading her diary.

Through her lyricism, she invites you into her world and allows her experiences to comfort you. Each song she releases revealing a new side of herself as her vulnerability is exposed allowing the listener to find a piece of themselves in her words or to understand her world better.

Outside of music, she’s a student at USC and a happy spirit that spreads positive vibes. If you go to her Instagram, you can see how her spirituality and creativity flows through art and meditation. She’s consistent-

ly sharing her journey of self-disc o v e r y through spirituality and selflove. Her self-expression makes her presence as a whole comforting.

Umi’s presence in the music world is like a breath of fresh air as she shows her vulnerability through visual arts

08

whoisumi/Instagram Umi poses facing mirrors for the EP, “Introspection,” released on June 21. Umi describes her music as not, “music for hurting but for healing.”

and music. Her ability to use music to take a look into her head and use social media as her visual diary creates a welcoming environment that draws in an audience as they

feel connected to her and the positive atmosphere she provides. I would say no one is doing it like her, but the charm is we can all find a little bit of ourselves in her.

Letters to Lake Oswego

09

10 From three unique perspectives, each of us have endured the culture of Lake Oswego.

We have resided here for years, observing and experiencing firsthand what it means to be someone different in Lake Oswego. If you’re a white person who lives in Lake Oswego, don’t skip past this. You may believe this town is somehow “different” or “progressive,” or somehow doesn’t have a racist culture but we are here to tell you otherwise.

Racism is alive and well within the comfortable confines of Lake Oswego, and it’s up to you to confront yourself and those around you. Lake Oswego was built on racism and People of Color continue to suffer the consequences. Understand that sharing these deeply personal experiences was not an easy task.

So please, continue on, and read the words from a second-generation, a mixed, and a fifth-generation American. Because we know how important our stories are.

11

Dear Lake Oswego, Why I wanted to leave As a kid, I moved around a lot, not staying anywhere longer than the school year, until I was six years old and came to Lake Oswego. I always lived in the suburbs, so I was already surrounded by a majority white demographic, but Lake Oswego was a whole new level.

From the moment we got here, I could tell there was something different about me.

Even when I lived in other white suburbs, there were at least a few other Asian kids in my class. My first impression of LO came from my first grade class, where all the students were white, except for me and one Hispanic student.

LO was also where I had my first experience of blatant racism and it came soon after moving. Second grade, I was talking to another Asian kid (yay a second one!), and as I was talking to him, a kid sitting next to me stretched his eyes out in the stereotypical mocking manner. To this day, I remember what my teacher said when I walked up to her with tears in my eyes, “Embrace your eyes, my daughter gets made fun of for her eyes but she learned to love them.” Even at seven years old, I recognized racist actions and I understood the belittling history behind them. I understood that she was trying to resolve the conflict at hand, but the subtle microaggression in her deescalation spoke volumes and continues to stick with me. I’m not mad at the boy, nor am I angry with the teacher. I’m frustrated with the ignorance that was presented to me at that moment and continuously shown within the

11 years I have been apart of this school district.

As I continued to grow up in LO, I also continued to face microaggressions and racism, which, in turn, caused me to be em-

12

barrassed about my heritage. I pretended that I didn’t speak Chinese and even told my sister I wished I was white. At the time, I thought it was a funny joke, but later realized it stemmed from my internalized racism.

Throughout middle school, I slowly fell into the white narrative: only liking white boys, white people food, and avoiding any part of being Chinese unless I was being praised.

The stress of hating myself for something I can’t change forced me into a depression.

This depression forced me into one of the most painful experiences in my life, self-hatred, the constant battle with myself as I actively tried to change a part of my identity

because it was forced upon me that my race made me inferior to my peers. My stress and sadness grew into anger. I was angry at the school, angry at the blatant ignorance around me, and, most of all, angry that I forced myself to just deal with every racist comment and ignorant action.

Lake Oswego culture is the root of all the pain I felt and the reason I wanted to escape as quickly as possible and forget about my time in LO. Even if it meant I could lose a successful future, I didn’t care because at that point I felt so drowned that dying felt like a happier experience than living here. People make fun of me all the time (in a light-heart-

13

ed way, of course) for how I’m friends with kids from other schools, but what they don’t understand is that meeting people outside of the bubble made me realize life goes on past Lake Oswego and it gets better.

Meeting new people while still trapped in this toxic environment also made me realize the hate I hold for life and for Oregon is due to Lake Oswego.

I made friends from a nearby high school that I related to, typically by race, and I realized how much happier I am. The pain and misery I felt about my life weren’t actually never-ending. Therapy couldn’t solve all my problems, but it made me understand that I don’t hate my life and I don’t wish I was dead, I just wish I was out of Lake Oswego.

Racism in Lake Oswego is a part of the culture as if it’s school spirit, it’s apart of everything around us and most people here have learned if from other people here. It’s hard to explain in words, but better to show in numbers*: the number of POC present in the district, the number of POC that leave the district, the number of minorities that leave Lake Oswego and refuse to come back, the number of articles by minorities that express their deep-rooted anger and frustration with Lake Oswego, the list goes on. Then, there’s a whole other category: the list of minorities who wish they were out of Lake Oswego. I am vocally a part of the last section.

I begged my family for almost four years to

let me switch schools, to let me be a part of the number of students of color that leave the district, but no one ever understood why I wanted to leave (nor did we have the money to move with college around the corner). My family thought I was acting irrationally, and my wish to leave was countered with questions about specific incidents or friendship issues.

I don’t blame my family for not understanding what caused my anger and sadness, because they didn’t experience growing up as a minority in Lake Oswego.

I got to the point where I questioned if getting a “great” education was worth the pain and suffering. I spent endless nights crying into my pillow.

Miserable thoughts clouded my head and drove my search to find a way to leave, but I could never truly say how I felt to anyone without feeling silenced, as living as a minority in LO is hard to understand unless you’ve actually experienced it.

How I describe living in Lake Oswego as a minority is like this: you are the Pokemon trainer, and mental illness and traumatic events are the Pokemon. Living here has caused me so much unhappiness that meeting people outside of Lake Oswego’s toxic and problematic culture truly felt freeing.

Up until this year, I didn’t know how to thrive in Lake Oswego, and my heart was still set on leaving.

My therapist wonders what changed for me this year (and maybe you do too). First, I changed the people I surrounded myself

Living here has caused me so much unhappiness that meeting people that aren’t part of Lake Oswego’s toxic and problematic culture felt freeing.

14

with. No matter how funny someone is if they make you feel terrible, at the end of the day they aren’t worth your time. Second, I realized that life exists outside Lake Oswego and I have my friends at other schools that keep me level-headed. The reason I stayed is that I realized if I don’t do something to deal with Lake Oswego’s culture or try to change it, what about the next kid that looks like me that goes through Lake Oswego School Dis-

Sincerely,

Barbara C

trict? I wouldn’t wish the pain of being a student of color at LO upon anyone else and I want to be the figure of change that I wish I had. If you know anything about me, you would know I hate exposing my feelings and this is extremely embarrassing for me, but I hope this is healing not only for myself but also others who have felt difficulty belonging in Lake Oswego’s intolerant and subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) racist culture.

15

Dear Lake Oswego,

My sugar-coated identity

I never understood people who only eat the frosting off a cake. Or worse, people who only eat the cake part, without the frosting at all. Seems needless to say, but it’s cake; it has layers that are meant to be eaten together. It’s perfect when all the pieces are distinctly segregated and then married in one delighted forkful. How do people choose only a portion of the whole to enjoy?

Well, it’s hard for me to judge because I do that every day.

I’m a lot of things —I’m seventeen; I’m a woman; I’m a student; I’m a writer— but when it comes to my ethnic identity, I’ve never found a definitive resolution. As I exist, I am an amalgamation of histories from around the globe—granted, more of a Western-European globe. I’m German, Italian, Russian (Ukrainian), and Japanese, and while I’m mostly European (and thus a part of the dominant culture), I don’t belong within that category alone, and I never will.

I’m mixed, though I don’t like that term because it characterizes me as if I’m not whole.

As if I am mixed, but not well-enough, or I’m missing a piece. Multi-racial sounds somewhat better, but I’m still only two races --Asian and European-- so it doesn’t fit.

I’m not really Asian enough to be biracial, either. My grandfather may be 100% Japanese through and through --with the stern, cold voice that pierces me even through phone calls and slightly warms up when I tell him I received straight As-- but that doesn’t mean I feel entitled to claim that part of my heritage.

When I was younger I watched and idolized people on TV that didn’t look like me: people like Hillary Duff and Hannah Montana. Though without recognizing I could never be them until later in my childhood, I continued to watch. My coarse dark hair could be dyed or bleached, sure, and my peach-fuzz mustache that kids made fun

of could be waxed, of course, but my big cheeks, wide nose, round face, and squinty eyes when I smile revealed otherwise. I didn’t recognize that I was internalizing a hatred of my asian-ness and manifesting to be something more white, something “normal.”

I didn’t see the impossibility of that idea, though, for I was raised as much a white person as one would could hope to be if one looked like me; I brought sad sack-lunches to school with Dave’s Killer Bread-sandwiches and veggie straws; I bought only traditionally “American” clothes, and got my ears pierced at Claire’s; I had a fully pink room, adorned with sparkly decorations handed down to me by white-side grandmothers, aunts, cousins, and other distantly feminine relatives; I only had white bestfriends for years, out of fear that I would be grouped up with the one or two other BIPOCs in my class and be stuck with that identity; I went along with what sounded right and what seemed wrong for the longest time --whether that meant avoiding talking about race when it made friends uncomfortable, avoiding bringing the “wrong” Asian snack to school, or avoiding just simply being the smart Asian kid, opting rather to be the class clown or the one with the creepy laugh or the weirdo. Anything was easier than being reduced to my race; my DNA. I became aware of the harms of Lake Oswego’s closed mindedness when, like many other BIPOC, and especially Black and Brown students, I experienced it firsthand.

Many of the experiences I’ve had were bla-

16

tantly wrong, of course, but I never felt like they were legitimately wrong enough for me to do anything about them, so I repressed those memories and gaslighted myself by saying that I was just someone that made other people uncomfortable and it was my own fault. I thought that I was the weird kid or that I was over-stimulated or that I was too creative for my own good. When maybe, in reality, I was simply unhappy.

In retrospect, I experienced microaggressions against the way I looked and the way I expressed myself all throughout my time in Lake Oswego schools. When I was in second grade some boys, now rising Juniors, came

17

up to me and told me I looked Mexican for having a darker complexion and from the way my face’s peach fuzz was more visible than on other girls. They told me I looked like a man and called me gross. After several instances where they accosted me about it, I couldn’t take the pressure and eventually just shaved it all off. I found my mom’s razor in the bathroom one day and shaved my chin, my cheeks, my upper lip, and half of my eye-brows off!

If I tried to look more normal, that definitely didn’t help my case because any time I’d see someone for the next month, they’d ask me what happened to my eye brows.

And, yet, no one ever commented on me looking like a man, or if I was Latinx, again.

Another time, in third or fourth grade, I was talking to a girl, now also a rising senior at LOHS, and somehow the conversation escalated to the point where she chased me out of the classroom and onto the grassy field. She was running after me and I was hyperventilating. Running back and forth in circles, she yelled at me for what felt like an hour, but was probably only three or four minutes.

What was she yelling, though? Lesbian! Lesbian! You’re a lesbian! One could argue it was all in good fun, just a game of childhood tag and nothing more, but then why was I afraid of what would happen if the teacher overheard? Why was I afraid of what would happen when she caught up to me? Why was I afraid, if it only was a game?

Later still, in 5th or 6th grade when me and

my dad were moving into a new house, one of our family friends offered to paint the interior for a reduced price. After painting it, we paid him, and we even let him store some of his things in our garage for a while.

Sometimes we found him there smoking or just lurking around, and it was strange, but we tolerated it. After a few months had passed, we asked him if he could pay rent for using the space so much, and he went berserk.

Ended up taking all of his things out of the garage and leaving entirely, but not soon after did he drive by one day and throw a slur at us by calling us chinks. I didn’t understand the implications of that word, nor did I even understand what he said exactly when he drove off in his pickup truck, but I could only hear the disappointment in my dad’s voice as he ranted to me about it later that evening.

Stories like these lurk in my subconscious, and they aren’t just limited to me, but every single BIPOC student, and especially those in Lake Oswego.

I can’t say it is only ignorance, nor only racism and homophobia, but it is all of these things that allow Lake Oswego to persist with its underlying (and sometimes obvious) issues surrounding basic human rights. We always talk about supporting diversity, but we never talk about why our town is so white in the first place (ex. Anti-Black laws, redlining, huge KKK membership numbers in Or-

I can’t say it is only ignorance, nor only racism and homophobia, but it is all of these things that allow Lake Oswego to persist with its issues surrounding basic human rights.

18

egon, etc.). We always talk about equity, but we never talk about how we place our money, and thus our values, into systems that disproportionately hurt BIPOC students (ex.

SROs in schools). We always talk about inclusion, but rarely when we make statements about being better and holding ourselves accountable, do we consult marginalized stu-

Sincerely,

Cameron I

dents or professionals on how to truly exhibit restorative justice and ally ship.

As I have done with my own identity --by prescribing to certain labels and selecting pieces of myself to present as to avoid these traumatic interactions-- Lake Oswego does it too. But life cannot be consumed as one eats forkfuls of frosting.

19

Dear Lake Oswego,

Racism became my reality When I was younger I always saw myself as white. Obviously, this is a strange thing to hear, as a 100 percent Chinese Asian American, but it took experiencing discrimination to understand the disconnect between my peers and I. Before, I never drew a distinction between myself and everyone else around me, including my friends, teachers, classmates and any movie or TV show I watched. Especially given the demographics of Lake Oswego, my perception of myself based on those around me was incredibly warped. When I was younger, with at most a loose concept of race, I blended in perfectly with everyone around me.

There was no reason for me to think beyond the color of their hair and how nice they were. For the first few years of my life, I felt perfectly content in the beautiful little town I was proud to call my

own. And this was a perfect system. Until the reality of my differences began to seep through.

My first known experience of racism was with my best friend in the middle bit of elementary school. We had known each other for years and were incredibly close. I still remember the experience down to the very last detail.

We were walking up the stairs in my house, and she turned to me, asking “I heard this joke, I think it’s really funny; how do Asian people get their last names? They drop a fork down the stairs! Ching, chang, chong.”

My first reaction wasn’t surprise or anger or hatred. It was something worse. I forced myself to think it was a funny joke. I told myself I should laugh at it. I told myself, stupidly, my last name doesn’t sound like that, she obviously wasn’t talking about me.

20

Amy Liu

Looking back on that guts me every time.

How many times have I ignored comments?

How did I continue to stay friends with her?

How can I live with myself knowing that I never fought back? The only thing I know for sure, is at this moment, I lost my innocent perception of my home.

I had known this person since pre-school, she had grown up with a Chinese best friend for years and still maintained prejudice against me. Why? I can’t even blame her. I perceive myself as incredibly white-washed. I thought I grew up just like everyone else in LO. I spent summers at the swim park and evenings at Tillamook. I attended in awe the local football

games and savored every piece of popcorn. I rushed around the farmer’s market, gathering doughnuts and pie.

I equated my experience with everyone else, not realizing how I could possibly be subject to discrimination. I’m a fifth-generation, cishet, middle-class, able-bodied woman. My skin is light, I have no accent.

But with all these privileges, came a lack of education on racism and prejudice. This is a part of why I’m still angry at LO. I know from my experience and from listening to my peers for years that, during my younger years in LOSD, schools didn’t do enough to teach students empathy.

And I can’t even blame the schools. Nuance

21

in the way BIPOC are presented in schools seems to be a recent change, and I couldn’t possibly expect LO to be ahead of its time when even now there is difficulty taking SROs out of schools. But I’m still angry at the education I didn’t get. The only time I ever learned about racism in middle school was when I experienced it.

In the sixth grade, I rode to and from school every day on the bus with a gaggle of friends I knew from elementary school.

We were rowdy, loud and always joked around.

One day, one of these friends had a painting for an art class. She showed me, and quickly revealed that it was based off of me.

A short haired blonde kid with bright blue eyes stared up from the canvas and I looked back at her in confusion. Obviously searching for a reaction, she looked me in the eyes and said “It’s because she has a flat face.”

Though I wasn’t as close with this friend, it still dug deep. At that point, I was annoyed, but I knew I wouldn’t get any support from my other friends around me. At that point, they would talk politics and call themselves liberals, but they wouldn’t stand up for me or recognize the racism present in their close friends.

These overt instances with my so-called friends are ingrained in my memory. But when I think a little harder, I can remember so much more. It’s an elementary school friend that asked me why my face was like

that. It’s a joke that included pulling eyes up and down to mimic Asian eye shapes. It’s my old soccer coach identifying me and the only other Asian girl on the soccer team when she put a cone on her head that looked like a rice hat.

Comment after comment, joke after joke from people whom I respected and cared for slowly chipped away at my identity leaving me hopeless in the face of people who will never understand.

I’m not under any illusion that my experiences were the worst, but I am just here to share the wisdom I gained from it.

Through all these experiences, I found myself to be more and more alienated. It wasn’t until I found my friend group that I could finally grow as a person. And it is completely because most of them are POC. There’s a definite reason why there are often racial divides within schools, and just because you can think of your one Asian or Black friend, doesn’t mean you understand or are allies to the experience.

So, as a fifth-generation Asian American, I didn’t maintain a strong connection to my Chinese ancestry, but I will never truly fit into Lake Oswego. Even having lived here nearly all my life, even growing up suffused in the LO culture, even as an involved member of the school. I am stuck in some dissonant in-between.

And I will never change my experience. But with this zine, I hope to bring to light what

Comment after comment, joke after joke from people whom I cared for and respected slowly chipped away at my identity leaving me hopeless in the face of people who will never understand

22

LO can be for the people it doesn’t serve. If you’re a person of color, don’t discount your experiences for silly reasons such as how Lake Oswego is supposedly very progressive and liberal or because they’re your good friend. Because despite the racial gaslighting I inflicted upon myself to try and justify it, it was racism, plain and simple (and please get involved with us, we want your opinion too).

And if you’re a part of that vast majority of Lake Oswego, I’m asking you to look at your

Sincerely,

Serena L

hayleygrahamphoto/Instagram

experiences, privilege and how you’ve treated people of color. Look at the people around you and the “jokes” they make. Do your research and speak up. Because even if you regard yourself an ally, if you’ve quickly made the switch from reposting and speaking out on social media to swimsuit pictures by the lake, you’re a part of the problem.

Being complacent is no longer viable. It’s time to listen to us, we’ve been screaming for years.

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A community of virtue signaling And a journey of discovering activism

This is the first of a series of three photos, all of which were shot and edited by me. For those who haven’t been paying attention and reading about the injustices before, the large media coverage and outrage can be quite a shock. Each arm represents a different unjust murder of a Black person. The CD represents the murder of Alton Sterling, who was murdered because he was selling CD’s. The wallet represents the murder of Amadou Diallo, who was killed for taking out his wallet. The cigarette represents the murder Eric Garner, who was shot for allegedly selling cigarettes. The sleeping mask represents the murder of Breonna Taylor, who was repeatedly shot at in her own home when she was sleeping.

The phone represents the murder of Stephon Clark, who was killed while having his phone in his hand. The toy gun represents the murder of Tamir Rice, who was shot for holding a toy gun. The car keys represent the countless injustices and murders of people who were driving while Black. Finally, the $20 bill represents the murder of George Floyd, who was killed for allegedly using a counterfeit $20 bill. The lines flowing down my neck represents the overwhelming pressure someone can feel with their realizations about systemic racism and unjust deaths. It symbolizes anger and a sense of helplessness that is the start to a lifelong journey of activism. The black over my eyes represent a start to realizing privilege, for me, realizing that beside my eyes I am white passing, and that comes with priviliege.

I’ve always found the role of artists in movements incredibly interesting. Designers, photographers, painters and many others can create powerful images to fuel a movement catered to the visually driven nature of social media. There are endless examples of informative graphics and videos, Black power at protests and other such things across Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, etc, demon-

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strating this exact power.

Yet there is one group of artists that seem to have a never ending stream of drama and problems, that I would like to focus on. The beauty community, especially makeup artists. The community consists of thousands of accounts and channels spanning various apps, that are so problematic that they have accounts dedicated to “exposing� the makeup

artists, especially the vast number with racist pasts.

Members of the community have long attempted to be intersectional with current events, some occasionally using their platforms for activism. That activism, in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, however, it’s a slippery slope. For some reason, many are just incredibly unaware of social issues. Maybe criticism has to do with the vanity associated with makeup, or other disadvantages POC face in this community that hasn’t yet been pointed out. Whatever the reason, many are constantly facing scrutiny.

Not surprisingly, in response to the Black Lives Matter movement, these artists have been creating looks to supposedly show their support. To be clear, I find no need for the inherent hate of makeup artists using their talents for activism. As when photographers,

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designers, singers, etc, come together to create a tapestry of activism and art the right way, they can contribute an attractive aspect to this movement.

Nonetheless, there is a very thin line between using your talents for good and virtue signaling. For those who don’t know, virtue signaling is the action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one’s good character or the moral correctness of one’s position on a particular issue. This isn’t true allyship or activism.

For example, when non-Black people cover their mouth, which represents the silencing of Black voices as well as the censorship of Black people, they seem to be using this huge systemic problem as a way to virtue signal or get more views or likes or using the pain that Black people continue to face to propagate

The second photo represents self discovery. Especially for Asian Americans, it is recognizing the privilege they contain despite being a Person of Color. Specifically for me, I have light skinned privilege. The makeup, though hard to completely see, is a nod towards my own background.

The majority red eye look and lips represent my Chinese background, where the blue and white acknowledge that I am American through and through as well. My hand position is a subtle nod to the fox eye trend that shows white people benefiting off the slanted eyes from which I have experienced racist remarks. The mirror is a demonstration of self reflection, the identifying and understanding of the advantages I have.

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This photo represents intersectionality. After research and understanding the injustices of race, gender, sexuality, disability, etc., you have to come to realize that if you don’t stand in support of one of these groups, your support isn’t true. For example, feminism that doesn’t stand for People of Color, non cisgender women, socioeconomically oppressed, etc, isn’t real feminism. In realizing the many ways one can be oppressed, it is essential to fight for every person. Recognizing the many facets of life, you have to truly understand that the intersection of everything is where you need to support.

their own white/non-Black savior moment.

Another, much worse “trend” is that of intentionally darkening your skin tone or doing blackface. Some do it as a part of a look to show support for the Black community, some do it to capitalize off their idealized aspects of Black people while retaining the privilege to wash the makeup off. This has terrible implications and a beyond racist history. Blackface was created to dehumanize and embarrass Black people, the image “Jump Jim Crow” depicting a white person dressing up in blackface and mocking Black people. It was also used as entertainment making Black people stereotyped as a caricature, who love watermelon, are stupid, have big lips, etc. Though their intentions may not be that of the origi-

nal blackface users, this “trend” is holistically not okay.

These are just a few examples, some that seem to be popular among smaller makeup artists. So there are clearly many things that are just not okay to do when using makeup for activism. And though there are many horrible choices that people may take when creating makeup looks in support, art in the form of makeup can be incredibly powerful.

When people take the time to create a story or a message, they need to make sure they aren’t using Black struggles as means to, again, virtue signal or garner attention to themselves only, and also use their platform to spread useful information, strengthen other BIPOC artists, and are otherwise contributing

monetarily to the movement, then using their creative outlet to further enforce the idea that Black Lives Matter should be met with support.

If this seems like a hefty list of demands, especially given that there is probably so much more to consider, non-BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) should take a look at their privilege.

Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, etc, are visual driven platforms, so there is no denying the appeal of artwork as a way to convey a message. But if you want to create or support art work activism such as makeup, which is completely fine, just DON’T BE RACIST. It’s okay

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to make mistakes, just own up to them and do better.

Ask yourself such questions as, does this person seem to be simply doing this as a way of virtue signaling? Are they otherwise contributing to the Black Lives Matter movement? Are they centering themselves or other non related things more than anything else?

Are they using a death or other tragedy in a way that minimizes it to a look?

To apply an idea from former Mayor and presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, “Politics at its worst is ugly, but politics at its best is magnificent. Because it’s not just about policy. It is soulcraft and it is moral.”

The final photo in the series represents taking action, using your own privileges for good. The game portrayed is Mahjong, which has different symbols on the tiles representing some of the many ways to be an effective ally. The money represents using economic power to support the community, including buying from Black owned businesses and holding corporations accountable for having a diverse leadership team. The voting ballots represent the power of having representation in the government, in hopes of less able bodied, white, straight, cis men making all the decisions. The Black power fist represents solidarity to the community and the Black Lives Matter movement, which looks like going to protests and publicly showing support. The books represent educating yourself and others about everything that has been whitewashed including films, history, culture, etc. The 1312 tiles represent support for defunding the police, the numbers representing different letters of the alphabet ACAB (all cops are bastards). This is recognizing the racism our police and prison system was built on and working to abolish the police. Finally, the megaphone represents having difficult conversations with loved ones and calling out racism and white supremacy. This also represents decentering yourself and using you foundation, or privilege, represented by the pictures beneath the table, for good. Without action, any of the other steps are useless. BIPOC don’t benefit from you realizing their oppression, you can only help them by taking decisive action against racism.

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Poetry is more than rhyming lines

With so many years of “bad� poetry ingrained in us, it’s hard to find anything of interest in the subject.

More or less, the only in-school exposure we get is from dead White people like Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Edgar Allan Poe or Shakespeare (granted, the latter did more prose). Beyond the limited scope of the poems we do read, it’s rarely anything beyond three main themes, those being: loss, unrequited love or simply identity. What we fail to recognize, however, is how such a whitewashed, monosaccharide-feeling, starchy view is not representative of the vast breadth of poetry and prose that’s out there; from the political and avant-garde to the sensual and abstract, the world of poetry is far more radical and beautiful than most people realize.

A common misconception is that our education system teaches us the best stuff out there, and yet, some of the greatest poets in human history weren’t even the people that have been

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shoved down our throats to analyze.

Sappho, for example, is known as one of the first female poets, period, and was an out- spoken lesbian. She lived on an island called Lesbos (yes, that’s where the word c o m e s from) in around 600 BCE w i t h m a n y o t h e r wo m e n and primarily wrote lyrical archaic poetry about love and nature, as well as the Gods and Goddesses of her time. It’s thought that she wrote over 10,000 lines of poetry in her life, but now only two whole poems and dozens of fragments remain. While being alive over 2500 years ago, her influence within the LGBTQ+ community is still felt today, and she serves as a sapphic inspiration for literary queers everywhere.

Furthermore, queer poets have been some of the most vocal orators and authors for the past millenia. Oscar Wilde, Langston Hughes, Allen

Ginsberg, Nikki Giovanni, Ocean Vuong, and more. While riots may be the language of the unheard (Martin Luther King, Jr.), poems are the language of the dreamers.

Most notably, Nikki Giovanni echoes this in many of her early works with the rise of the Black Power Movement and the Black Arts Movement. She grew up in a period of extreme segregation in Tennessee. Throughout the 1960s and 70s, she wrote about her experiences growing up and learning what it meant to be Black in a White world. With some of her militant, more violent pieces, it’s difficult to imagine reading lines that call for the death of all honkies, the eradication of the White race, and use the n word to emphasize the dehumanization of the Black human existence, but that shock has value.

Some of her poems have been incredibly educational for me because of their absolutely radical nature.

She’s daring and angry and hear tbroken in every stanza and it’s exactly the kind of educating we need now. Before reading her works, I never fully understood what violence or riots meant, nor did I appreciate the historical, contextual, or artistic merits of violence in respect to the BLM movement or otherwise.

Giovanni was one of the pioneers of the contemporary poetry style that we see most often today, a style that people still utilize today that utilizes the free-verse and is often more

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progressive with its language and ideas.

Giovanni actually spearheaded the style of contemporary poetry that we see popping up more and more today. People like Tracy K. Smith and Ocean Vuong (Vuwong) --who have grown in popularity because of their political, gender-based, and romantic poetry-- are some of the most famous contemporary poets in 2020’s climate.

C o m pared to previous eras, s u c h as Realism or Naturalism, contemporary poetry is more about using free verse (free of rhythm, rhyme, or any structure) to develop saturated feelings and malignant ideas that we wish to enact or spurn. It’s a very beautiful, stylized way of writing that depends more heavily on emotions, tone, and word choice, as well as the way in which it is spoken aloud.

Poetry --though it can be old and whitewashed and carry a sense of ennui-- is an extremely powerful change-agent and should be acknowledged within the queer and POC communities for its ability to connect one another.

While it may be woeful or gregarious, poetry has a beautiful essence about it and we should all give it a second chance.

If you want to read some poems based on the BIPOC experience, feel free to indulge on some on the next page.

29 Minutes for life Cameron I

they make a call about a ruckus you know, cigarettes or a hoodie Well now, He was selling stuff He was suspicious And a convicted felon pins against a wall needles or noise? videos spread like spider webs afterall tears aren’t enough anymore we want screams, shots, blood A knee on the neck isn’t enough to kill him It looked like a real gun They shouldn’t dress that way did nature or nurture tell us to blindly worship? i ask when the murders will stop the guns only have so many bullets but as we know we keep making more.

He was 23 He was a father He was 12 He was a reporter He was. and i’m sorry but he will never again none of them will He/She/They are red paint splatters at the crime scene and their shapes are all that we know

Toy Boat

By Ocean Vuong For Tamir Rice yellow plastic black sea eye-shaped shard on a darkened map no shores now to arrive — or depart no wind but this waiting which moves you as if the seconds could be entered & never left toy boat — oarless each wave a green lamp outlasted toy boat toy leaf dropped from a toy tree waiting waiting as if the sparrows thinning above you are not already pierced by their own names

LOVE, VICTOR When thinking about gay characters in TV shows, common characters that come to mind are Kurt and Blane from Glee or the beloved Elio Perlman from the film Call Me By Your Name. The common factor of these three popular figures is they’re all white, which is what makes Hulu’s new original show Love, Victor so groundbreaking. The show focuses on character Victor Salazar who just moved to a new school halfway across the country after his father switched jobs. The first season follows Victor as he tries to figure out his sexuality with the advice from Creekside alum Simon Spier who was the focus of the 2018 film Love, Simon. Victor spends the 10 episodes trying to discover himself while managing his ever-changing life.

I genuinely appreciate this show as it opens new doors for TV casts and representation. Love, Victor allows for LGBTQIA+ POC to possibly see themselves in a character and help with their exploration of sexuality. Also, it can help normalize the presence of LGBTQIA+ POC in shows and in real life, which creates a safer space for these marginalized groups.

Victor’s storyline re-

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veals the harsh reality of being LGBTQIA+ and trying to explore sexuality while growing up in an intolerant environment of traditional and religious beliefs.

Throughout the show, Victor finds himself trying to navigate his love life as he finds himself dating the popular nice girl, Mia Brooks but also thinking about the only openly gay student in his class, Benji Campbell. He’s figuring all this out while trying to keep his family life from falling apart and navigating how to come out to his homophobic parents.

Besides his parents, we learn about Victor’s fiery little sister Pilar and her adjustment to the move. We also meet Victor and Mia’s best friends, Felix, Victor’s neighbor; Lake, a socialite that cares too much about her public appearance; and Andrew, Mia’s childhood best friend.

Besides the diversity and representation in the cast, I truly enjoyed the show because a lot of the characters were well developed in the 10 episodes besides the main characters.

The 25-minute episodes were quick to watch and the storyline was pretty well developed over a short time.

My only critiques of the show would be that the main character is played by a straight man while there are plenty of gay actors of color that would also be able to play the role. There are also problematic tropes that show up that create stereotypes about the LGBTQIA+ community. Overall, the series is showing signs of progress in television and media, which makes this show an interesting watch and a wonderful series for kids to watch as they transition

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Independ Inde pendence ence day... for whom?

As the world and the news outlets have gone silent about George Floyd, the protests, the calls for arrest of the policemen that killed Breonna Taylor, Elijah McClain, Tony McDade, and more, most people likely went along this 4th of July with easy hearts and lifted spirits; their only concern was COVID-19.

I propose, however, that before even worrying about staying 6 feet apart, to wear or not to wear masks, or who to invite to the backyard cookout/beach trip, first consider if we should even celebrate the 4th, and why? “But Cameron, what about our independence? What about our troops? What about our founding fathers?� Well, concerned reader, those are three different arguments tied up together in a neat little bow to distract from the ignorance that each of them hold.

What about independence? “Patriots� may argue that The 4th is symbolic of American freedom, but freedom for who? The Christian white men who were educated, wealthy, and could vote. While Thomas Jefferson may have written the classic lines on the Declaration of Independence stating, “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,� the language of the document and the subsequent laws passed after that freedom was established do not support all Men. He claims all men are “created equal,� but leaves out how Black people were

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being enslaved and used for back-breaking and dehumanizing chattel labor. As well, he calls Native Americans, “merciless Indian savages� later in the document. Sounds super equal, right?

If the document was truly about creating freedom for all, why did no women sign it?

Why did no POC sign it? Why did no enslaved persons sign it? Oh right‌ they held no power in the American system and still didn’t until the 13th, 14th, 15th, and 19th Amendments were passed (the last one of which was adopted over 140 years later, and true equality/justice has still not been established for all Americans).

Today there remains racially-motivated policies that undermine the value of human life in every facet and level of government.

We can’t celebrate a holiday about independence while not realizing the real systematic oppression that people face today, including but not limited to: voter suppression, red-lining, police brutality, food deserts, microaggressions, over-policing, and more.

Buying into, and even glorifying, a nation that has committed so many atrocities is a kind of blind nationalism that selectively worships rebellion and revolution, all while ignoring or simply forgetting the

true history that marks our country. While I don’t oftentimes say “look at Nazi Germany,” in this instance, please do. Decades following the reign of Nazi fascism and mass-genocide of the millions of Jewish and marginalized persons during the Holocaust, Germany is now one of the most peaceful, democratic countries in the world. Visit any landmark or historical site and you’ll never find a Nazi parade, a statue of a Nazi “war hero,” or a reenactment, yet in America, the waving of the Confederate flag or any other propaganda is simply “patriotism” and “honoring our heritage.” Germany has taken measures to criminalize Nazi sympathizing and to fully educate every student on what their ancestors did, and America needs to do the same.

What about our troops?

After learning more about the extensive list of war crimes the U.S. military has committed --all for resources, land, or for simply colonization-- I’ve lost any semblance of respect I previously held. It’s honorable, of course, to be willing to lay down your life for anything, but that doesn’t excuse the blind worship the military endorses. Without going off on a tangent about said information, the military is not responsible for protecting our rights, plain and simple. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights protect our rights. We do not need to thank the military for the rights that were established in these texts, they had/have no part in upholding those rights, either.

What about our founding fathers?

If you still believe people like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, and others were good people, I have news for you. All of them had en-

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slaved persons, even in the hundreds. Jefferson had over 600 in his lifetime and manipulated (and likely raped) numerous young enslaved girls to have dozens of mixed-race children. Washington had dentures made with human teeth. Jackson enacted the “Trail of Tears” which was the largest diaspora in Native American history and saw some of the worst cases of widespread poverty, famine, rape and death of Indigenous people in the 19th century. Even Abraham Lincoln was more concerned about politics than actually abolishing slavery. (The Emancipation Proclamation only freed people in the Confederacy, not in the Union, and no one was actually freed up until two years later with the 13th Amendment.) Why should we continue to respect a person or their history if literally all of their political views and policies were based on the oppression of people different from them?

TL;DR Black lives matter is real, Independence Day is not. No one is free until everyone is. Posting about how fun Fourth of July was when people are literally getting lynched is really telling, so stay conscious and mindful of that privilege. Read a book.

Some of the best books to read about American history are “A People’s History of the United States” by Howard Zinn, “The New Jim Crow” by Michelle Alexander, “An African American and Latinx History of the United States” by Paul Ortiz, “A Queer History of the United States” by Michael Bronski, and “Stamped: From the Beginning” by Ibram X. Kendi.

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Let’s talk ri t justification The most patriotic thing you can do is be a part of a riot. Rioters are seen as delinquents and unpatriotic, but the rights of people in our country were literally built off the riots.

Riots are the sound of citizens fighting for their rights in an oppressive government. It’s very American as well to overthrow an oppressive government, take the Revolutionary War as an example.

Personally, when it comes to politics, I usually am a strong pacifist, I don’t think countries should have a military and I don’t believe war is justified, but in cases of riots that occur as a form of protesting such as those used most recently for Black Lives Matter, I am in complete support. A factor that needs to be understood is that riots don’t happen just to start violence. Most people don’t try to be violent unprovoked. The pain and frustration that builds up for one to start rioting are enough to justify it. Using Black Lives Matter as an example again, the organization started in 2013. Protests under the name “Black Lives Matter� have been going on for seven years*, yet we continue to see patterns of police brutality in our nation. These protests started off peaceful, but peaceful protests resulted again in little change and no solution to the issue. They were literally driven to protest in a way people would be forced to listen, riots. There was no other choice because the system failed them and continues to fail them again and again.

Looting a part of riots have also been seen as controversial.

Arguments about how innocent business owners don’t deserve to be looted and have their shops destroyed. I want to suggest this first, how about we boil down why their pro-

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testing to the root: innocent people are being killed at the hands of law enforcement. Lives are being taken and these lives cannot be replaced, but merchandise and buildings can be bought back. Also, brands such as Target and Sony have even released statements in support because they understand that materials are replaceable but lives aren’t. There are so many arguments that can be taken about how the employees don’t deserve it or it’s unreasonable, but again, these protests are happening because people’s lives are at stake. This situation is literally life or death.

Now, let’s talk about history. Riots aren’t just violence for no reason, they have historically worked. Slaves didn’t just ask to stop being enslaved in order to be free. If we’re to get into specifics though, Birmingham Riots of 1963 happened in response to the bombings of Birmingham Campaign leaders on May 11, 1963. These riots helped President John F. Kennedy decide to propose a civil rights bill.

Another example, the Stonewall Riots of 1969, these riots led to gay rights groups being created across the nation to help give these marginalized groups voices and for them to fight for their rights. Riots have worked, they aren’t unjust anarchy and it’s important that the voices of marginalized groups are being listened to.

Riots have allowed citizen voices to be heard and create change in the government. Rioting is a form of keeping the country representing the people by demanding that citizen voices are heard. Patriotism at its core is about keeping the country the best it can be for citizens and rioting forces citizen voices to be heard and acted upon.

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QUEER MOVIES FOR THE GAY IN ALL OF US While being a member of the LGBTQ+ community has become more normalized in America --through gay marriage and other Supreme Court protections, as well as the ceremonious annual Pride Month-- there remains a huge lack of representation for the community in nearly all media. Usually, “representation� in most TV shows and movies are just side, queer characters turned to tokens for “diversity� or more straight white people playing queer roles (Let’s not forget when Scarlett Johanneson was asked to play a transgender character and the internet dropped her faster than she could drop the role). While the community is stronger than ever, long withstanding patriarchal oligarchies within Hollywood still exist, and are less keen on creating stories that actually represent Queer existence in a positive light, beyond just cheating on spouses or being these token background persons.

Below are some of the best movies with LGBTQ+ main characters I’ve seen, not to say these are just “gay movies� though. What’s often the misconception about diverse films is that people (more-so non-BIPOC, LGBTQ+ people) associate them as films only for the people described within the film, however, that is simply not the case. These are stories that shed light on another group’s existence, but they also are human experiences that

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anyone can relate to; these movies are finding first loves, faith, hope, as well as overcoming bullies, cultural pressures, and social norms.

These are not just gay movies, but human ones.

Please remember these are probably not even the best of the best of the LGBTQ+ films, but I wanted to highlight ones not often discussed because of their intersectionality of gender, sexuality, religion, and race. So, no, I won’t be talking about “Portrait of a Lady on Fire� or other white queer movies (“Call Me By Your Name,� “Carol,� “The Danish Girl,� and “Blue is the Warmest Color�), even if they’re good.

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Before we get into the first film, Cheryl Dunye’s “Watermelon Woman,” I want to preface that the lower score was only because of personal connection. I didn’t relate to the story so much, but it was nevertheless interesting and valuable as an experience. Like “Saving Face,” it added much more cultural significance than the plot necessitated, especially through the dialogue, the cinematography surrounding Philadelphia and the depth to which it explored white-saviorism, anti-Black sentiments, police brutality, and lesbianism, all from a Black LGBTQ+ perspective. In the film, it stars writer/director Cheryl Dunye, playing herself, as she uncovers the mystery of an uncredited actress --called “the Watermelon Woman”-- as she appears in numerous “mammy” roles across 1930s antebellum-period, racist movies. In the process of uncovering who this actress truly is and creating a documentary about it, she meets and forms a relationship with a white woman who helps her with her search. It has a pretty underground-indie vibe, where you don’t know if it’s all true or not, but I appreciated the unique idea that one can create, or invent, one’s own history. (Also, shoutout this movie on this list for being the only one to showcase an interracial couple and the only one where both actors are actually gay, and not just straight people taking those roles!)

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As one of Netflix’s newest and one of its only LGBTQ+ original films, it offers a new take on the “love triangle,” without fading into the expected redemption or revenge arcs. The second title from director Alice Wu on this list, “The Half of It” is about a wallflower, teenage, Chinese girl from a smalltown who’s secretly in love with the most popular girl in school because she’s not like other girls (so quirky, right?). Although she begins to step out of her comfort zone when her neighbor reaches out to her to help him write his crush a love-letter, and guess what… they have the same crush! Unbeknownst to him she has romantic feelings for her and the thread of the entire lie slowly unravels till the very end. Just like “But I’m a Cheerleader,” this film is very campy, but it has a bit more heart in it. It sheds light on the religious aspects of homophobia and racism, but generally, it’s less deep than the other movies on this list.

First off, the all-star alternative cast of “But I’m A Cheerleader” deserves some recognition all on its own, including: Natasha Lyonne, RuPaul Charles, Clea DuVall, and Dante Basco (aka Prince Zuko from “Avatar: The Last Airbender”). Besides the hilarious cast, the story is almost out of a cartoon (or Mike Pence’s summer camp dreams); Lyonne stars as a high school cheerleader whose parents, friends, and boyfriend suspect is a *whispers* homosexual, so they send her to “True Directions,” a conversion camp for addled homosexual teens. While she’s there, she meets other troubled gay boys and girls who guide her on her queer journey, while also trying to graduate from the course and become straight.

It’s a hyper-surreal and serialized view of homosexuality and queer-pride, but very appropriate for the chaos of 2020. It’s got a colorful level of 90s campiness, so if you like “Austen Powers,” “Sky high,” or “Scott Pilgrim vs The World,” you’ll probably like this movie too.

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Taking place in the hood of Miami, “Moonlight” is told through three different points in a Black man’s life. From the young child “Little,” to the lanky, sexually confused teenager, “Chiron,” to the hardened drug-dealing, “Black,” he goes on a journey of self-discovery, regression, and back again. While the story offers a very real depiction of drug addiction, bullying, and the Black existence, it does so in a beautiful, purposeful way. Besides a subtle story about identity, discovery, love, and addiction, the score reflects the mentality of bringing “Art House to the hood” with its soft string numbers and methodical orchestrated beauty. On it’s own, it’s a very raw look at the way society treats Black men, and especially how it values masculinity and what it means to be gay. What’s especially smart about “Moonlight,” however, is that it doesn’t serialize the hood or appropriate it, the film simply shows the power and the beauty of community and also how ostracizing not fitting-in can feel.

On almost the same level of excellence as “Moonlight,” Alice Wu’s “Saving Face” gets docked slightly for its more minimalistic cinematography, but the writing makes up for it. It’s much more of a 2000s type of movie in how it depicts New York and sets itself up as a typical rom-com, however, through its dialogue and storytelling, it offers a much more subtle view into the nuanced ideas of anti-Blackness, classism, honor, motherhood, and homophobia within the Chinese community that were more foreign to me. The story follows a prominent young surgeon who’s trying to navigate a blossoming relationship with a female professional dancer she likes, all the while keeping said relationship away from her conservative, traditional family.

Meanwhile her widowed mother is facing her own relationship problems when she finds herself pregnant with a new man’s baby and she must find a husband before the birth. It’s an incredibly wholesome movie that deserves more attention, honestly.

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Behind the Zines Barbara C

Writer, Editor-In-Chief Probably napping or listening to “Budapest”

by George Ezra as you’re reading this. I’m an extroverted Taurus that obsessively checks my horoscope and is threatened by Co-Star app notifications. My hobbies include: playing Animal Crossing, watching Disney+, talking about 88rising, and going to concerts. My biggest dream is to adopt a golden doodle and to name it Peanut.

Cameron I

Writer, Editor-In-Chief Anyeonghasseo, I’m Cameron and I’m a Japanese, multiracial kid who knows one word in Korean. I’m a shy aquarius who never answers phone calls from random numbers, but always cracks a joke at my own expense in uncomfortable situations. I love obsessing over language analysis, rewatching episodes of Avatar: the Last Airbender, and listening to Taylor Swift’s Folklore on repeat at 3am.

Serena L

Writer, Photographer, Designer, Editor-In-Chief Half my personality is owning the cutest labradoodle ever. I will only listen to one artist (Sleeping at Last) and annoy my friends by only playing that ever. The other half of my personality is making butter steaks at 3 a.m. I also take artsy photos of my uncle’s dog then print and frame it around his house when he’s gone.

40 For inquiries about articles or the magazine, or if you want to join our team and write something, feel free to contact us.

Color Zine: locolorzine@gmail.com Instagram: @Color.zine [Website Coming Soon]

Volume 2, Issue 1

Work Cited (any images not credited in the zine): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UOqtHlTQHblPgUpY1uj-3jgLccM6UFxh_g0rOlmeobQ/edit?usp=sharing

Thank you, for reading.

We hope you enjoyed and will spread our message. Stay tuned for an issue regarding school in the following months, with letters from alumni of Lake Oswego High School. Finally, we would like to say: Black Lives Matter Defund the police ACAB Protect Trans Lives Love is love Fuck your ableism No human is illegal Feminism rocks Free Palestine Believe science