Processing Grief : Takes as Long as It Takes

But you will never drift too far f rom our mind

We can rest in the assurance of seeing you again, One day we will embrace you again in love. Until then, we know God will keep you, Peaceful and loved in his arms above

This year the third of March marked my mother’s bedside and watched her leave this world. She fought cancer for 17

Where you once held a place

We will miss everything about you, Your smile, your laugh, your caring heart We don’t know how to carry on without you,

We will take comfort in your memory, As we reminisce of you, so special, so kind We love you so much and will do our best, low truth that one person you ’ ve always trusted and who was always there for you is now gone who guided your steps, encouraged you, and you were not close to your passing parent, the sense of loss is still hard to describe An honest glimpse into your own mortality as the torch passes on to the next generation way to make the sorrow lesson quicker. I now know one thing about grief...it takes as long as it takes No steps to complete, no magical words or prayers can rush the process It just takes time It will get better with the support and prayers from friends and family. But truthfully, losing a parent is hard. I must say that milestones are the toughest, and holidays are not easy either Still, there is something about those dates that leave a permanent reminder that someone you love has died Dates that stand out as a day uniquely theirs, like Mother ’ s Day, the day they were born, and sadly the day they died.

For those of you who have experienced this loss, I am sure you will agree that when a loving parent has passed, there is an all-encompassing quiet sorrow.

Remembering and honoring my mother is so important to me I keep in weekly contact mine He lost the love of his life Every day is a journey of sorrow for him, missing her presence in his world. I can’t imagine his loss, just like I can’t imagine the loss of a child, which he and my mother also experienced I came to the astounding realization that wherever you are in your grief Own it! Take your time to deal with your loss and take the time to reminisce, hurt, cry, and even scream if it helps. Be decisive even when you don’t feel like it, and never give up; your loved one wouldn’t want that for you. Be careful of anyone, although well-meaning, telling you it ’ s time for you to move on or to get past it It takes as long as it takes, and you need to take just as long as you need. Don’t allow insensitive family and friends to dictate how you process your grief. I know my grief for my mother will get better with time - one; if you need therapy, call one; and if you need a grief group, there are plenty around. Just remember to take care of yourself. Remember the beautiful memories you created with that person W hoever they are to you, your mother, father, spouse, child, sibling, dear family member, or friend Mourn them, remember them, honor them, and cherish their memor y by loving yourself.

Finally, be gentle with yourself; grief takes as long as it takes

Be kind to yourself and others