A One Man Steer

mad at me for implying that Angus have a disposition problem, but ancient Angus breeders will admit that Angus cattle 50 years ago could run a little 'hot' If there are any Angus breeders who question my loyalty to the breed may I remind them that ever y one of my show steers bought were four purebred Angus heifers and that I paraded all over by the time I was 17

Not only was Abe a bad actor, he was also a chronic bloater which meant I spent hours walking him until he released all the greenhouse gases bottled up inside him. And believe me, Abe had a carbon footprint bigger than Al Gore Speaking of footprints, Abe was the best kicker I've ever come in contact with

To get ready for the fair we had a practice safety rope around Abe's neck just in case I couldn't control him To no one's surprise, Abe got away from me and drug my teacher around the bases before someone's father saved my teacher's life by cutting my brand new neck rope. But this only raised a far bigger problem: how were we going to catch Abe before he scaled the fence to terrorize and torment the town? I had several rodeo contractors bidding for Abe's ser vices and Abe would have made

You can imagine how surprised ever yone was when Abe and I won the county fair showmanship contest but by then Abe had taken pity on me and stood as still and straight as a West Point plebe And I swear I didn't use any pharmaceuticals to subdue him I didn't even know such things existed but still that was the rumor around the barns. How else could I explain the magical metamorphosis?

W inning beef showmanship meant I where the winners of the sheep, swine, beef, and dair y contests had to show each others animal You can imagine the fear that swept over the fairgrounds. I could certainly see it in the eyes of the tiny gal who'd won hog showmanship when we exchanged a lead - ers was that Abe was a one-man steer, and - cials relocated the ambulance from the rodeo grounds to the showmanship arena and calf ropers had their ropes at the ready. showman who got P TSD, the aforementioned hog showman who became a vegetarian for life, and a dair y showman with chronic foot problems after Abe had walked all over his feet. (Actually, Abe may have saved that guy's life because he didn't pass the physical to go to the Vietnam Meat Grinder due to the the winners took a turn around the rodeo arena at the big Saturday night rodeo, which was meant to be a big honor, but by this time, were worried Abe would get loose and menace the midway So Abe was left tied up in his stall, and what should have been my most memorable moment turned into my worst nightmare

I had to wear white show pants

In summation, I lost $13 dollars for countless hours of sur viving Abe, cried the night before they hauled him away, and couldn't wait to buy my next steer.