A Short Course in Respectful Conversation For the Certificate of Knowledge and Skills in Respectful Conversation By Daniel Keeran, MSW, President, College of Mental Health Counselling www.collegemhc.com
Knowledge and skills in respectful conversation are essential for healthy personal relationships between two people and in groups, families, and organizations. The course content is useful also for group leaders, counselors, and others wanting to facilitate the healthy experience of inclusive community and of life together. The reader or student is invited to complete assignments to receive the Certificate of Knowledge and Skills in Respectful Conversation. FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS The foundation of healthy relationships is based upon the following principles or beliefs: 1. Every human being has equal worth and dignity. 2. Everyone is entitled to his or her feelings and views. 3. Everyone deserves to be treated with the highest regard and importance. Conflict occurs when the above principles are ignored. If respect for others is maintained, conflict can be managed in healthy ways. UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT Conflict is something that can't be avoided no matter how hard we try. It's inevitable because people are individuals with different views, feelings, experiences, and ways of perceiving things. And so the object is not to eliminate conflict, but to try to work with conflict so that it has a positive outcome, such as bringing people closer or creating new ideas and new possibilities. People often find conflict to present major challenges. Those challenges are a major part of the life patterns that often come from a dysfunctional family of origin: from significant unresolved conflict in the parental relationships or from significant unresolved losses. One may be overly passive or overly aggressive, or a combination of those behaviours. Ways of relating are often unintentional unconscious compulsions and often involve not knowing healthy alternatives to reacting out of emotion or habit. PRINCIPLES OF INCLUSIVE RESPECTFUL CONVERSATION The first principle of inclusive respectful conversation is that no one has complete understanding of intangible truths fundamental to human existence and the meaning of life. 14