26 minute read
Understanding Language: Thru Words, Body, Buildings Jonathan Gonzalez
A: As I grew up my English naturally got better and better. But it started to have effect on my considered the majority of the shows rather annoying. Mostly because they would sometimes Spanish. In Los Angeles I was taught to read and write in Spanish. I had a teacher give me a coincide with shows I wanted to watch. So even if I flipped the channel they would run and book of exercises before I departed for San Diego. I would practice every once in awhile, you tell on me. I think in retrospect learning English early on was a mistake for them. They can know here and there but not often. I was so immersed with English going from school and to barely speak Spanish. They can understand just fine. It’s just a bit sad that they can’t home. I read and watched things in English. My thoughts eventually became English as well. communicate well. They fail to see the benefits of actually knowing two languages well. One The only times I would be speaking Spanish was to just my parents and aunt/uncles. I had of them took more initiative and took Spanish courses at Cal State San Marcos. She wants to stopped speaking Spanish at school. I was getting so bad at speaking Spanish, I secretly think become some sort of translator and/or a Spanish teacher. So her Spanish has gotten better not my parents decided to send me back to the motherland of Mexico during the summer vacations a whole lot but at least she’s progressing. She can now read and write (finally) much better and get to know where they grew up. Spanish was unavoidable. This way I was forced to than her older counterpart. [I should mention that they’re twins.] I took it upon myself to stop listen, speak and interact with people in Spanish 24/7. Which at the end of every summer speaking English to them and speak more in Spanish. Not only am I helping them but I’m also rendered my English rather useless because I was having trouble remembering/translating helping myself out. Win - Win. words from Spanish to English and vice versa every summer I went back. I began to see a
struggle within myself between which languages in which one would be more dominant. I Q: Can you speak other languages?
think about it now, I was considerably young when I made a clear preference about certain things. Like for example I prefer watching television in English rather than in Spanish. But I A: Yes but not proficiently. I can speak a little bit of Italian and I am beginning to see how easy can’t “understand” Mass in English because I only know prayers and biblical stories in it is to pick up Portuguese. I took two semesters of Italian at Palomar College. I picked Italian Spanish and none in English. Which makes sense, my parents being Catholic going to Spanish because, well there wasn’t much to choose from but also it was very similar to Spanish in that mass is a no brainer. Especially living in a community that majority of its population was it stemmed from Latin. So it had similar vocabulary and grammar rules to Spanish and Hispanic decent. Many churches nowadays offer Mass in different languages not just English. English. Verb conjugations were addressed pretty similar and of course there were a few curve English had become the clear winner as I kept getting older. balls and irregularities. When I finally transferred to Woodbury I was commuting for the first semester about an hour all the way from Temecula. I wanted to continue to learn Italian so I
Q: What do you enjoy the most being bilingual? would play audio taped conversations and speak along with the characters. I have sadly
faltered from that path and should hone in on practicing more. I haven’t had a whole lot of A: This is a tough question. There are many things not like one aspect, for example when I was practice but all in honesty I can pick up majority of what is being said. Not clearly but young I had fun with telemarketers, still do sometimes (out of boredom). I started doing this somewhat. People who are native Portuguese speaker have all said that they can definitely because I would be the only one in my household that was able to speak English at the house. understand Spanish without having any prior teaching or classes because again it being Eventually I grew tired of saying the same thing over and over. Telemarketers would call derived from Latin there are more similarities than there are differences. I think one big asking for my folks and I would respond that they “aren’t home”. More so for the fact that difference I notice when hear Portuguese is that in a way it is spoken much like French. French because as a kid we don’t understand the adult world and are very naive and stupid that I is spoken in a way that you don’t pronounce every letter in a word so like the last letters or remember times that I would get in “trouble” because I had answered honestly and said that letter is dropped. In a way it is a way to distinguish a native from a learned speaker. Unlike my parents were home, thus forcing them to have to speak English to someone a complete speaking Spanish or Italian where there is a clear pronunciation on every letter. stranger and either have a tough time being understood or trying to understand someone
brutally butcher Spanish so much that that they became appalled. In hindsight I didn’t realize Q: Spanish speakers have an accent when they speak English, why do you think you don’t have how hypocritical that was. Not wanting to have an interaction with someone where there was one?
no common language between the two parties and having to rely that one or the other or both knew a common language to speak in. Both attitudes reflect that there is a discomfort in those A: I think the reason that I don’t have an accent when I speak English is because I learned it at kind of conversations. such a young age. The irony though is that I do however have an accent when I speak Spanish. I’m referred that I sound like a “pocho”. A pocho is like a slang term for Mexican - Americans My answers became more and more creative. Where it started to become more of a game on that can’t speak Spanish even though their whole family at home does speaks it. It holds how long I can waste their time. My goal was to make them eventually stop calling all together. somewhat of a bad connotation because it is meant to be derogatory. I’ve been called pocho So instead of answering in English, I would speak Spanish to them. It was fun hearing people before. It’s really because of the accent I have though not because I can’t speak Spanish. It
45 Wanderlust, Jargon, and Architecture | Participant/Author to Participant/Author Paul Esteban born and raised in San Diego, California. Paul is 30. Paul and I came to Panama 66 in Balboa Park to analyze our project site for school a little more after our studio class on Tuesday the 27th of September 2016. struggle because they’re caught off guard. I felt victorious at the end of the conversations where they couldn’t think of something to say so they would be the ones to hang up on me right off the bat. Some actually surprise me and would actually respond back in Spanish in those cases I was forced to default back to saying that my folks weren’t home. Other times my goal was to see how long I can keep them on the phone for. I think that became my favorite game growing up. Q: How did you sisters learn English? A: My sisters learned English a little differently than I did. They never had to take ESL. They didn’t have to go to a different classroom to read, write, and speak. My sisters learned English really early on in their lives. They were in pre-kindergarten when I was in third grade. So their exposure with English started there. I remember they would watch television a lot and they quickly absorbed English through educational toddler shows, like on KPBS or Nick Jr. I doesn’t really bother me being called pocho, frankly because it’s really only my family and close friends that have said it to me. In way it became a bit of motivation to get better at speaking my native tongue. So I try my best to think in both languages from time to time. Q: Have you ever been “lost in translation”? A: Translating isn’t hard, it’s just difficult at times. Especially when I was younger. I had trouble coming up with the words/phrases as a way to explain the main concepts of what people said from one to the other. For example I find it difficult to talk about architecture to my family because I’ve only been educated in English. Especially trying to talk to members of my family that don’t speak English at all. Trying to talk to them about architecture in Spanish makes me sound like a pocho, because I struggle so hard thinking of what to say and how to say it. I usually end up saying things really short and concise so that way they won’t have to ask me more questions and watch me squirm more. ● Jonathan Gonazalez: What do you hope to accomplish by crossing your mental border with Architecture?
Paul Esteban: With architecture I would have to say I’m developing something that I could feel like other people enjoy as much as I do. I want other people to...I kinda want to bring people into my world. I want them to see things through a certain lens, through my perspective and be able to enjoy it. It’s something that’s personal that I want to share with other people, and I think once I’m able to do a built structure that I feel satisfied with that then I’ll feel as though I’ve begun to cross that border with architecture because I don’t think there’s gonna be a particular moment when I cross that border and it’s like “it’s done..that’s what I did.
J: What, do you mean? why would be considered challenging to define a style?
P: The styles are considered difficult to read because to the untrained eye all houses seem to and how and where they come from. It’s really interesting how the structures of the past and have almost the same look throughout a neighborhood. The main archetypes that I can remember off the top of my head are like Renaissance, Colonial, Neoclassical, Victorian, Art and Crafts, Prairie, and Modernist. Each style has their own unique indicators. So only by knowing how to read and understanding the different languages of the aesthetic ornaments one is able to categorize a house style. Like for me, I think it’s difficult to differentiate the right style. Many styles have similar aesthetics, shapes, materials etc, that make it really difficult to pinpoint just one answer.
J: What does it mean to cross your border with architecture?
P: Now that I think about it I mean I would like to take into their accounts of what they would like especially if I build for a client but I think my border is mentally personal I think I’d want to introduce them into the way I see things in a positive light and introduce something that creates positivity through architecture that enhances the experience. I mean like ideally, I would love to build a museum or something that I enjoy myself. A music venue, something cool you know..? That I could bring them into, so that when people leave they are still mesmerized by how amazing it was. Kudos to the architect.
J: As a fellow architecture student in your opinion do you think architecture has it’s own language? J: How has language affected your experiences abroad?
P: Yes as emerging young professionals we do tend to speak a bit differently. Our vernacular stuff were a whole different thing.
extends out and becomes greater the more knowledge we gain because of theories of practice that we read and are instilled and drilled into us that they then become their own “isms” and its understanding these past principles and basic ideas that contribute in aiding us to understand architecture better as a whole. But it comes with any career choice. There is a lingo that gets used on a regular basis that outsiders would or kinda might have a slight idea of what the conversation could be about. Even us as students working in an office there’s a whole other level that we have to get used to.
P: I think they do in a way we are able to tell what kind of style a building has. We can infer how to read architecture subtle clues of styles. Buildings have aesthetic look of reference that are more considered like visual patterns to look for when maybe describing a structure. A lot a of information can be read through a building’s facade. Like when it was probably built and how and with what type of materials that are a bit easier to determine.
J: What is maybe the easiest to determine?
P: I’m really bad at trying to determine types of styles, but the ones I can easily pick out are houses with a Neoclassical style because it’s easy to recognize the columns and over the top decoration. This architectural ornaments look similar and pertain to Greek or Roman architecture. But even then Renaissance style can be also a legitimate answer. They were particular in Greek and Roman revival as well. I can’t fully determine one from the other. The only thing that really helps is knowing history well enough to know when things were built so that really helps me out. From all the traveling I do I can start to see this blending of styles present have shown up in modern times as different languages.
P: It affects one tremendously. I knew limited amount of Spanish my mom being Mexican. And when I went to Barcelona, I was digging in the bottoms of my pockets to remember anything I could. In order to communicate to figure out where I am going. Something, anything I tried so hard. So language is invaluable when you’re traveling to your experiences and learning how to communicate with people besides gestures and stuff any where from Europe to South America to Southeast Asia. Going to Europe was much easier than going to Southeast Asia just because of the Latin based roots. Southeast Asia just the characters and
J: What about buildings, do buildings have a language?
It was hard to convey your points like how you were saying in your interview to communicate and joke around...your personality is based on your ability to communicate effectively to the party you’re trying to communicate to. So you can’t communicate effectively that effectively makes you a less of a presence in the room ya know..? Right like you said being invisible. So it all ties in communication is key whether gestures, karate, spoken, non verbal actions, looks the first thing people do is judge you and figure you out where you come from. Tourist or Native. ..continues
visit: www.collectivemagpie.org/book for this remainder and another conducted by Jonathan Gonzalez and to download the full collection of 82 interviews
The wall has become an extremely politicized symbol of the region, of SD/TJ. Twenty minutes away from our home in San Diego 50,000 northbound vehicles and 25,000 northbound pedestrians cross the US/MX border at the San Ysidro Port of Entry daily. You can stand at the closest beach to that port at the International Friendship Park and be a part of the surreal i image of three different layers of border divisions. La Mojonera, or Western Land Boundary Monument No. 258 is a 9-foot high obelisk which sits completely out of place at the beach like a tomb marker from a historic cemetery. It marks the start of the 1,952 mile line separating Mexico and the United States. In 1851, representatives of the Boundary Commissions from each nation placed the marker together in a collaborative effort that seems difficult to imagine today. A foot away from the territory marker is a sight impossible to fully ii understand. There is a 10 foot steel fence that divides the concrete, then the sand along the beach and continues on into the ocean for several hundred feet as if to attempt to divide that as well. This is a security border wall to prevent the passing of people from Mexico into the United States as a result of the 1994 Operation Gatekeeper. The wall is made of steel military iii landing mat and has small gaps between slats. Separated families have used those spaces to see each other, talk and hold hands between the bars for years. The latest wall is a double v iv reinforcement, first built after 9/11 when more federal legislation allowed for increased security at the border. This secondary wall built in parallel, several feet away from the first, also vi put an end to the possibility of physical contact through the fence. It created a further strange division of a policed no entry zone between the two fences that is occasionally opened for cultural events and often increases the pain of this division. If you go there today, you will see the barren US beach of Border Feld State Park under watch of a border patrol officer. On the MX side, you can see the lively festivities of the Playas beach front, food vendors, live musicians, seafood restaurants and children playing. What we see here is a landscape that separates families, creates tension between nations and instills fear of each other. The wall is a constant reminder of war, failed humanity and the incessant power play for the 1%. President Trump’s scheduled 21 billion dollar border wall will only reinforce and reassure us of all of many years of tension.
The interviews transcribed in this publication share a Mexican-American border patrol officer reflecting on illegal immigrants, a criminal sketch artist profiling the accused inside the court, first hand observations of how the legend of Tijuana, the dangerous city, continues to haunt families over 3 generations, a self described racial identity fading away from racial tension, the resolution of an internal struggle caused by external violence, a pathway from religious crisis to the questioning of freedom and much more. These stories are tragically frustrating, violently unforgivable, some cringe worthy, or confusing at times, are all warmly exchanged, immensely complex and most surprisingly, they are strikingly honest and personal. They ignite the border from the inside rather than from the outside reminding us that the border does not start at the line between US and MX but it is here, embedded in our lives, in every one of us.
These are the stories that are here and remain here as a memory and history. These are the stories of the border residents. These are the stories of our border—the border that matters.
46 w i t h r e s i d e n t s o f T i j u a n a - S a n D i e g o Not in a box neither in the closet | Self-Interview READ ALL 82 CONVERSATIONS Valeria Ortega, born in Tijuana. She is currently an art student in UABC Tijuana (Universidad Autónoma de Baja California) and has just over a year to complete her degree in fine arts. She was The Journey of Finding Oneself Valeria Ortega I conceive border as a limitant we might let take control of ourselves or a struggle we learn to overcome, and these are indubitably directed by the social constructs we are taught along our lives. Valeria Ortega is an emergent artist and art student who explores and addresses diversity and identity primarily around gender and human relationships, the body and how masculinity and femininity are perceived in the western culture while living the border experience between Tijuana and San Diego, constantly trying to figure out her own identity and with the intention to reach and share with more individuals who could be affected by similar struggles. b o r d e r F O U R 1 7 c o n v e r s a t i o n s Transnationals PREFACE & THANK YOU We are humbled and grateful to have had the honor and privilege to cross back and forth between San Diego and Tijuana, listening to the experiences of people living in these borderlands, over these last several years. Those who have shared their personal stories, for others to read, have inspired this rich publication. We thank you all for extending your sincerity, labor and trust in each other and to us—two complete strangers—during our Globos Workshops*. The generosity extended by each participant opened a space to consciously engage together, reflecting on the complex close(d) relationship of living within the region of the most frequently crossed border in the world—And all the mess, beauty and challenges that are a part of it. The resulting 82 conversations on the subject of border were produced via four seminars from an experimental Art & Ethnography course series: HOT AIR BALLOONS and INTERVIEWS from 2015-2017. The seminars were held in conjunction with the Culture, Art & Technology Program, University of California San Diego; the Transdisciplinary Program, Woodbury University at the School of Architecture; and the concluding seminar, Transnational Edition was held in partnership with the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego, in addition to multiple sites in both border cities. MCASD hosted the seminar extending access and content to the their permanent collection and enabling the seminar to exist between multiple colleges, allowing joint participants from Southwestern College, University of California San Diego and Universidad Autónoma de Baja California. This interview collection and artwork consists of a series of transcribed interviews conducted and edited by millennials working collaboratively with each other and with us. * Globos Workshops were developed to produce a fleet of 25ft unmanned hot air balloons to be launched over the US/MX border at Friendship Park, TJ/SD. Balloon construction workshops were held at both sides of the border within many different communities and cultural centers. This publication is a four part series of conversations about the border. Preface & Introduction by Tae Hwang & MR Barnadas of Collective Magpie. Design by Adrian Orozco & Abigail Peña. Copyright. 2015-2018 All authors. . Printed at Diego & Sons, SD. Complete free download of 82 interviews can be accessed at www.collectivemagpie.org/book
part of PPAC's 1 (Programa de Producción de Arte Contemporáneo) second generation by Relaciones Inesperadas 2 .
Q: How would you define identity?
A: Well this is something that I’m constantly thinking about. There are many things that could determinate someone’s identity, I think is related especially to how you could synthesize what you believe conforms you as a being, in a cultural and socially way. I am Mexican but for a long time I didn’t felt that way. I was born and raised in Tijuana and I’ve always thought that this land is neither from Mexico or United States, is literally in the middle and that inevitably affects everyone so I didn't´felt completely Mexican even though I am. I’m proud and sure about it now and is something new for me as I’ve been able to spend more time in the U.S., seeing how people across the border express themselves and interact with others 3 made me realize how Mexican I am. I’m a Mexican queer artist who is also currently identifying as gender fluid. I think is more relevant for me to say that I’m queer if I’m talking about who I am, because it’s implied in almost everything I do, the way I see things, my work as an artist, my interests, almost everything. Probably these aspects are the first that come to mind whenever I
elitist?
think about my self-identity.
Q: Why is that you being queer it’s such an important part of you? What does Queer mean?
A: I see how we don't really like each other that much, is like I'm gay by myself and then there
A: It's hard to explain. I think people just assume that everyone is straight until proven wrong, I've seen it all my life. If you don't show it in a way that you are Queer, then it is like if you aren't, so it's more important for me to highlight this aspect of myself. It's important to make visible that we are here and we exist and I'm pretty aware that not everyone feels the need to do this. Queer used to be a derogatory word but the LGBTQ community adapted it, we own it now, we added it to our own sense of describe what we are and even though it’s still a bad word for some people, for others like me is a word that could mean you are not straight or cis gender, there are many possibilities and with Queer I don't feel I need to specify more. I mean, I feel more related to a queer community 4 that to the country I was born in. I feel more the need to let know people that I’m queer than Mexican, I really don’t mind where people think I am from. I say this because a big amount of the population is straight and we are taught in the western world to expect that most people are heterosexual, following certain gender roles. A common I’m still doing it, because we are immersed in a social and communication system where is just saying I ain't straight, and is perfect for me because I’m also not cis gender.
comment that people make is not everything needs to be gay but the reality is that most things are directed to a straight and cis gender audience! I feel the need to remark my queerness because it’s something that is needed and I would like to have more of that when I was discovering who I was while growing up. Is not a new thing but people call it “trendy” now because is a subject that has come to light more often in the past decades and well, anyone feel threatened to what’s different from what they are or what they are more familiar with.
Q: You keep saying cis gender, what is that? What does that mean?
A: Well cis gender is a term used to describe people that their gender identity how they perceive themselves it fits to their sex or the gender they were assigned in the moment they were born. You know that moment when the doctor look at your genitals and scream its a girl find that area unsafe so I avoid it. I went because I was looking for these spaces I didn't saw anywhere in the city and it was quite disappointing, but something is better than nothing. I like it more in San Diego though and I really don’t say it to glorify the U.S. because I would never do that on purpose, I just feel definitely safer walking at night in Hillcrest than in Plaza Santa Cecilia, it might have the same level of risk but it doesn't feel like that, I feel more accepted in San Diego. Even Pride, I never find out when Tijuana Pride is happening, it just happens and there isn't that much of advertisement and San Diego Pride is way bigger. I think the problem is that the community in Tijuana is not that united, there aren't that many groups and people just isn’t really interested in doing it, there is an elitist way of thinking that don't really allow to unify us all and it is something that we definitely need to work out as all together.
Q: What do you mean with that last part, when you describe people of the community being
are those gays, I don't know if I'm explaining myself, again this is the way I see it, it doesn’t mean it is really like this. I don't get along with many people of the LGBTQ community in Tijuana either because it feels like everyone has their own conception that isn't completely respectful of the differences of others within the community, and also they aren't really interested on fighting for our rights, at least not the people I know, only the older ones. Maybe it just really bother me that most people within the community doesn't really care about the whole situation and they don't really educate themselves around other aspects of the queer community, like gender, that sometimes makes things complicated for me.
Q: You mentioned before that you identify “currently” as gender fluid. How does that work? And is this somehow related to what you call “your queerness”?
A: Yes it is related. I use queer as an umbrella term for anything that is not straight or cis gender related. As queerness I am referring to my gender, sexual and romantic orientation 5 . As in gender identity I say currently because it’s not something static, nor is gender or sexual orientation, or at least it hasn’t been to me. I’ve identify as straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian 6 , until now that I just say I'm queer, just like that I’ve been through all those sexual identities because I felt the need to put myself in a box and I couldn't find one that fitted me completely. required to label ourselves, so I just try to have an open option now. By saying I’m queer I’m or a boy based on if you have a penis or a vagina.
Q: What do you mean by saying that you identified yourself as straight, bisexual, lesbian, gay and queer? How does that work? Is it even possible?
