bies, with our passivity punctuated only by impotent anger. Ah, but there’s one arena where our passions run free, and that’s spectator sports, though most of the time, we stare at the screen as if we’re comatose, with barely a facial twitch to register another whatever. I’m not going to lie to you. My main objective in coming to South Korea three weeks ago was to catch as many games as possible of the Women’s Korean Basketball League, for how can any objective and sane man not be enthralled by the nightly exploits of the KB Stars, S-Birds, Blue Minx and OK Shoot? I couldn’t wait to sit forever at half court to constantly shudder and duck as gigantic Korean ladies fly, seemingly right over me, to smirkingly execute triple pumping, 720 degree and blind folded slam dunks that the great Shawn Kemp himself never dared attempt. Alas, I found to my infinite sorrows, regrets and even recriminations that all WKBL games would now be played only in empty arenas. Yes, even more cemetery-like than before, thanks to the corona fuckin’ virus. Spectator sports prove to us that not everything in life is rigged and, moreover, that we still belong to a community, just because we all root for the same colours.
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long with pornography, spectator sports are the ruling class’s greatest pacifier of the masses, so if they’re suddenly taken away, does it mean our rulers have lost control of the narrative? When I landed in Seoul, the
36 ColdType | April 2020 | www.coldtype.net
The mostly empty platforms at midday had single, figures at disease-free intervals, among the endless columns coronavirus crisis appeared to be primarily an East Asian problem, with hardly anyone but Orientals dying. There was no outbreak in Iran or Italy, much less the rest of Europe or North America. Now, horrible news swarms from the West, where death counts rise relentlessly, and entire countries are crippled and shuttered. If this coronavirus was unleashed by the US, as has been charged by many, including Chinese officials, then why didn’t Washington take precautions to protect its own population? And why was it so paralysed as the crisis unfolded? More importantly, how does Wall Street benefit from the poleaxing of the American economy? The 1 percent have just lost trillions. If the Chinese government was responsible for the outbreak, albeit only accidentally, then why didn’t it rush to contain it immediately, instead of just spinning the news? Perhaps Beijing was unaware of what had occurred in Wuhan? On the train to Busan, we passed Daegu, the epicentre of the coronavirus outbreak in South Korea. The mostly empty platforms at midday had but single, desolate figures at disease-free intervals, among the endless columns. It was a de Chirico vision come to
life, but only barely. At least they weren’t zombies. Unlike China, and now Italy, Spain, France and others, South Korea never locked down even a single neighbourhood, much less a city. To combat this pandemic, it immediately launched a comprehensive testing campaign, which has yielded alarming daily tallies of infections, though tailing off significantly as of late, auguring a recovery. For this deliberateness and transparency, South Korea has paid a huge price in international isolation and lost commerce, but it has managed to maintain, nationwide, an impressive semblance of normalcy. People go to work. All stores are open and well stocked. Though most restaurants and bars have suffered, you’ll still find, in just about any neighbourhood, those that can still pack them in, for there are obviously versions of black bean noodles, ox bone soup, spicy fried chicken or bibimbap that are good enough, or at least cheap enough, to risk a small chance of death to eat. Here in Busan, I’ve been frequenting the niggardly named Food Café, where for just $5 or so, I can stuff my face with a wholesome meal. Last night, I had some fine fried rice with garlic and bacon, which made me ponder, if only for a moment, Why wasn’t I born Korean?
O
ne type of Korean business that can’t be flourishing right now is the “kiss bang”. Don’t get too excited. Let me explain. “Bang” merely means “room”, so you’re not going to bang anyone at such an establishment. You’ll certainly
