A8
THE COAST NEWS
APRIL 1, 2011
CORY WATERHOUSE Doorman Diaries
False sense of sports prowess in video games
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ourtesy photo
Private Lender • • • • •
Residential Commercial EZ Income Doc $30,000 to $500,000 Up to 65% LTV
760-634-4545 DRE 01227543
Cardiff cold snap and other gifts and I pulled on winter clothes and decided to walk. Only one place would be offshore today and I didn’t want to make the CHRIS drive. Cardiff Reef heaved a HRENS A surprisingly thick slab as an unknown rider took off late, Sea Notes got barreled for seconds and It was already cold as the was swatted down. wind gusted from the north The next rider dropped in as the floor dropped out beneath him, turned hard off the bottom, parted company with his board and dove back down into what looks like very cold water. In an uneven year of waves, today looked like the most uneven, some sets approaching the biggest and most powerful of the year. Late opening day, I thought to myself before turning up the street on a path that will lead to water’s edge. The Cardiff Kook was not dressed for the occasion: Tshirt and Charger’s chin guard. Maybe the guys who
Do You Own a Gun?
NOW! is the Time to
LEARN
to use it
PROPERLY! Training for Men, Women and Children Mention this ad and receive a training discount !
BLACK WOLF
Southern California's Foremost Training Facility Home Defense Training Academy Licensed through the B.S.I.S.
760-402-0619
blackwolfdefense.com
made the shark set the bar too high. Pulling my cap lower over my ears reminded me that it’s cold out there. Somewhere along the line I have grown soft and never paddle out on these stormy afternoons anymore. I made a mental note to get a new wetsuit with a hood, hoping that will restore some of the irrational stoke the years have robbed. The Cardiff bridge on Coast Highway offered a perfect view of Suckouts, and the half dozen chargers who pulled sub-6-foot boards into desperate sections. Somebody got deep and was shot of the barrel like a bullet. While stoked for the guy I was also a little envious, not of the ride but of the youth such agility represents. To the south George’s, named after the long-gone restaurant that used to be there, enjoyed a new sandbar.
CARLSBAD BRITISH MOTORCARS Jaguar • Land Rover INDEPENDENT EXPERTS
Factory Trained • Dealer Diagnostics Genuine Parts • Dealer Specialty Tools Loaner Cars On Site • Smog Service • Servicing • Repairs • Parts • 18 Years in Carlsbad
760-434-2485
2598 State St., Carlsbad, CA 92008
A small pack sat, waiting for the next set. The swell was more focused here than at the reef. The waves were surprisingly hollow and one surfer in particular surprisingly good. Late drop, turn hard, sn-nap! One, two, three. Whoa! Looking down I saw a purple pebble in the peek-a-boo sunlight tumbled smooth for years in the shore break. I picked it up and put it in my pocket so it can clutter my already cluttered desk. By the time I looked again, the surfer was back in the lineup, dropping in to repeat the performance of wave one. Who was he and what was he doing on the worst wave on the coast? Each turn could empty a swimming pool.The section lined up and he pulled in and was spit out. To surfers of my generation this wave would have peeled too fast to make. For the best of the mystery rider’s generation, this is just another day of alchemy, turning nothing into fun. My generation likes to think we surfed that way and could brag that we had if not for the films telling a far different story. We never dreamed of traveling as far, fast and vertically as guys like this do. Not that there are many guys like this, anywhere. He paddled back out, caught a wave, pulled off the bottom and rocked his rail off the top, air dropping casually before being covered for a few seconds. Just when it looked like he was gonna be buried by the soup, he pushed TURN TO SEA NOTES ON A22
Wii need to have a talk. Since you’ve come into my life, I’ve had to make a few changes. I know you mentioned in passing that my health and well-being are important you, but I didn’t think you were going to actually test me on it. So, because of your influence, I strap on that deified alabaster device, clutch the nun-chuka-whatever-it’s-called controller, and do my best to make you shine bright amid my flabby attempt at physical fitness. But my Wii age has been hovering at somewhere near my mid-20s, and yet I still find it taxing to walk briskly to the mailbox or make an attempt to swim the length of a pool. As far as I can tell, I can hit prodigious home runs, golf at par, push my opponent around a tennis court at will, attack an opponent like a swashbuckling pirate of yore, and bowl a game worthy of PBA mention while barely breaking a sweat. And yet, I’m still an aging buffoon flailing wildly at digital moves that 6year-old chubby suburbanites find dismissively simple. Yeah, thanks for making me a college athlete turned worthless invalid in front of my family. Honestly folks, take stock and realize that we’ve gone way past reality and moved somewhere near science fiction. Tubby, goofballs have actually started to believe that they can benefit cardiovascularly by winging a few pieces of tethered plastic at a pretend adversary. Let me sum it up for you. You can’t actually box. You can’t fight.At all. Never could, not even close.You’re a weenie who lives in your mom’s basement. Wii boxing would never, and cannot ever, determine your laughable pugilistic expectations. Google the term “conflict resolution.” You’re going to need it. You can’t actually golf. A flick of the wrist doesn’t mean you should spend $1,900 on a set of Callaway irons or fritter away six grand on a membership to Singing Hills country club. Strangely enough, Callaway is another term for a gullible, smooshy schmuck. If you do feel the need to golf, please do this first: Hit yourself in the head with a brick so that we can see you coming and let the rest of TURN TO DOORMAN ON A22