Thursday, March 13, 2014 25
Coastal View News • Tel: (805) 684-4428
Thrifty habits
The Central Coast has some spectacular thrift and consignment stores. When people learn what I do, they are often eager to point out some item they are wearing, announcing an incredible price with great pride and enthusiasm. I know the feeling since I Are they really so love getting a good wonderful? deal. As any thrift Thrift store shopstore devotee will ping requires patell you, there are tience. To be sucsome strategies for cessful you need this kind of shopto take your time ping. LORI COOPER shopping and reJesse Thorn’s blog Drawings by Camille Cooper t u r n r e g u l a r l y. PutThisOn, offers Don’t expect to find wise fashion and clothing advice. He describes thrifting just what you are looking for right away. as a “lifelong habit” and a thrift store “as Thorn says to remember that “85 percent a place where you can imagine the lives of thrift store visits will lead to no purof a thousand objects—and if any one of chases. That’s part of the process—don’t them appeals, you can almost certainly sweat it.” In addition, find out when afford to bring it home.” Most of the tips stores receive new stock and try to visit I give today are based on Thorn’s thrifting when things are fresh. Pay attention to details. Look carefully advice, and many of them can be applied for any damage on a garment, including to shopping in regular stores and shopirreparable holes, tears and stains. If you ping sales. Be mindful of what you already own, decide to purchase the item with some what you need and what you may realisti- damages, intending to have them recally need in the future. Carrying a list is paired, factor in tailoring or dry cleaning prices into the price of the item. always a good idea. I have Know your brands. As an a need now list and a wish expert shopper, I know what list, just in case the stars are brands fit me well, and I in alignment and a true find keep a keen eye out for them materializes. when I shop consignment Do not base your thrift and thrift stores. You should store purchases only on do the same. price: “Few are the items Shop by touch. If a jacket that are worth adding to looks gorgeous but feels your wardrobe at $1 that itchy, let it go. Good quality aren’t worth adding to your wardrobe at $20.” Just because an item fabrics feel good to the touch. Check for missing or broken buttons, is cheap does not mean it is a bargain. I advise doubling or tripling the price of an mismatched seams, unraveling hems, item you are considering buying. If you cheap linings, and holes or marks on shoes, belts and purses. These unwanted still love it, make the purchase. Shop the entire store since items may features make the garment or accessory be misplaced. In addition, some sneaky look cheap, regardless of its price. Now that spring is almost here, how shoppers, like my cousin Gina, hide things they spotted earlier and planned about injecting some new life into your to revisit later. There may also be some wardrobe? Get out there and hit our local terrific garments in other departments consignment and thrift stores! that would work for you. For instance, I found a beautiful cardigan in the men’s Former writing teacher Lori Cooper has section once that fits me just fine. Savvy turned her love of shopping and style into female shoppers frequently buy blazers a career. Through her consulting company Wardrobe Wisdom, Lori works with her cliand sweaters in the boys section. Be selective. This goes back to the ents to update their style for their professional idea of being mindful when you shop. and personal lives. She can be reached at 680Sure, those three skirts are cute, but are 2640 or loricooper@wardrobewisdom.com. all three really you? Do you need three?
wardrobe wisdom
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Girlfriend Guru
BY RIVEN BARTON, PhD. rivendruien@gmail.com
Keeping the peace Dear Girlfriend Guru, They say there are two things you should never talk about with family: religion and politics. Well that certainly seems to be true with my family. I am a politically oriented person, I keep up with current events and I feel passionate about ecology and human rights. My family does not share my same views. When I was younger I used to react rashly and get into heated (sometimes yelling) debates over public policy and the environment with my family. Since then we have all agreed to disagree and talk about more pleasant things like the kids’ play or the weather. For the most part that’s been fine. We love each other and we don’t fight like we used to, but lately I have been questioning that “fix.” Being unable to have a civil conversation about things that matter seems to be the downfall of American families and current politics. If we can’t talk about the difficult issues, then how can we ever hope to change things in this country. At a recent dinner with my family I tried to bring up a few issues in current events, and I was greeted by silence, change of topic and the general brush off. I didn’t push it but I did feel sad and unacknowledged. How can I bridge the important topic taboo while at the same time keeping peace with my family? Sincerely, Politically Frustrated Dear Frustrated, Well, you won’t be surprised to hear that you aren’t the first one to have trouble talking with your family about politics. Though it may be difficult, it is not impossible. Here are some strategies for talking about politically charged issues with you family: 1. Smaller is better. Like cows, families can create herd mentalities. If you have a minority point of view, don’t try to bring up your opinions at a large family gathering. One on one conversations are much more effective in this case. 2. Choose your battles. If your family just signed pro-life legislation, abortion might not be the best dinner table conversation. Help them acclimate to having politically relevant conversations by choosing some more neutral topics to begin with.
3. Go for the affirmation. Instead of talking against something, try speaking in support of something else. For instance: Instead of saying that all people who drive their cars and burn fossil fuels are destroying the earth and evil, you could talk about how nice it was to ride your bike to work that day then ask if anyone would ever want to join you. 4. Breathe. Yes, breathe. They may, and probably will, say things that trigger you. They will make you mad. Your blood will boil, you may even wonder if you were adopted, but you still have to just breathe. If you want your family to learn to listen to you and respect your opinions you have to learn to listen to them. Take three breaths and just listen. 5. It’s not about winning. This one is really hard for me because I love to debate and I love to win, but winning an argument does not mean changing someone’s mind. The only thing that can change a position is informed, intelligent conversation, and maybe an act of God. Even if they don’t agree with you in the moment, they may after they have had some time to let the thoughts percolate in their minds. 6. And last but not least—it’s your funeral. While having open discussions is important, it is not always possible with everyone. Sometimes you just have to consider if the relationship is more important to you than expressing your ideas. Not everyone is capable of an open mind. Only you can know if it might just be better to agree to disagree. Reporter Anne Friedman said in her article entitled “I Love My Family but Loathe Their Politics,” “As someone who loves her family but loathes many of their beliefs, this hands-off approach is a survival technique that I’ve employed for years ... We don’t talk about it.” However, later in the article she acknowledges that she “... long suspected that my beliefs wouldn’t have the same amount of fire behind them if I hadn’t forged them in contrast to those of my family.” Like it or not, it is our families who make us who we are. Even if it’s in contrast. Good luck and remember: You don’t have to agree with someone to love them. Be well, G. G.
Riven Barton, PhD. Mythological counseling and coaching rivendruien@gmail.com • (805) 453-4680