Parenting
Bruce Stewart, DDS
By Melissa Stefanec
Ultra Modern Dentistry Backed by Old Fashioned Values
melissa@cnyhealth.com
Doing a Good Job as a Parent
I
’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, my kid likes me. Last month I wrote about all the ways I am not perfect parent — I’ve fed my daughter cupcakes for dinner and let her wander back to daycare with yesterday’s pancake syrup in her hair. We all fail as parents and the sooner we can accept that fact, the sooner we can move on and focus on the positive. Now that I’ve aired my dirty laundry, it’s time to redirect my energy. There are many days I feel inadequate, exhausted and defeated. However, there are many more days that I do a darn good job when pitted against some tough circumstances. Here are some the ways I am doing an awesome job as a parent. To be honest, it’s a lot easier to find fault with yourself. For many parents, it’s tough to praise your successes and focus on how amazing you are. So, in the interest of good mental health, here are some ways I think I am succeeding.
• My daycare provider says my daughter has some of the best manners she’s seen
Does my daughter throw tantrums? Yes. Does she make annoying, toddler, beast noises when she’s tried? Yep. However, she is also the first to say please, thank you and you’re welcome. That wasn’t easy. It required an amount of repetition I didn’t think I could pull off, but my kid says her please and thank-yous with the best of them.
• I still exercise and take time to myself
Some people may ask how this is a parenting win. It’s simple, really; when I take time to myself, I am recharged and ready to face the trials ahead. When I have some time with my friends or sneak in a good run, I can put up with the whining and tantrums. Plus, I’m setting a healthy example for my daughter.
• My daughter loves being outdoors
Sure, Stella loves her toddler tablet. She loves everyone else’s tablets and phones. However, she also loves being outside. She is happy to touch trees, walk on logs, pick flowers and run through the grass. I hope as she ages that she retains her passion for the outdoors. I will be working hard to keep it alive.
• My daughter won’t be pushed around
I think nature and nurture played
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equal parts in this one, but my daughter wants to be the boss. She wants things to be on her terms. This can be really frustrating, but at the end of the day it’s really awesome. I don’t want to see her tread on at any time in her life. I know it will happen, but the less the better. No one wants to see his or her kid pushed around, and I am glad I’ve taught her to be assertive and respectful.
• My kid will eat just about anything
Maybe it was feeding her mildly curried baby food. Maybe it was never having the attitude that a food wasn’t a kid’s food. Maybe it was constant diligence to putting new and alternating things on her plate. Maybe it was just dumb luck. Whatever it was, my daughter is pretty adventurous eater for a toddler. She will eat some spicy foods, pungent cheeses, vegetables, and other items many toddlers turn their noses up at.
• My kid is happy
Despite typical toddler distress, Stella is a pretty happy kid. She laughs a lot and is consistently silly. If I could pick one thing for her to be in life, it would be happy. Never mind rich, successful, smart or any of those other desirable personality traits. I just want my child to be happy. The rest, should it come, will just be gravy.
• At least once a day, my daughter offers an unprovoked, ‘I love you mommy’ This one is important. I hope my daughter does this because she feels loved by me. I hope I have demonstrated how much I love her. Kids say and do what they feel. They are the very definition of impulsive. I figure, if she says I love you, she must mean it and feel equally loved. That is pretty amazing. I encourage other parents out there to take a step back to recognize their successes. We all fall short. We disappoint ourselves, our partners and our children. That is part of life. The other, really great part of life is all the good stuff. Most of us are slow to see it, but we owe ourselves a vision of the whole picture — the one that includes all the great things we do. We need to bring that positive picture into focus. After all, that’s probably the picture our children see each and every day.
June 2014 •
IN GOOD HEALTH – CNY’s Healthcare Newspaper
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