Sex Therapy Can Help Heal

Dr. Mila K. Marshall CNW Staff Writer

Sexual healing is more than the best song Marvin Gaye ever wrote…it is a real thing. For Black bodies, pleasure seems to be a taboo topic, at least when it comes to intimacy and lovemaking. There can be loads of expectations placed on partners to perform in the bedroom. Closeness should be fun and curious, but the stressors of life can ruin romance. Black love matters began with an invitation to reflect on love in all ways. As the series comes to a loving close, we end with a candid discussion with Dr. Kres Snyder and a professional sex therapist to help us understand the barriers to sexual satisfaction along with what types of people benefit from sex therapy.

“Black people have stigmas around openly talking about needs, wants, and desires for better sex,” said Dr. Snyder. She believes that the recent adoption of therapy and the increase in Black mental health practitioners is a good thing. As most therapists find their niche for their services Dr. Snyder is here to help lift the libidos of clients who are on journeys to face the reality of their issues and reignite the love below.

“People have asked me what goes on in these sessions, and if there is contact with clients. Most don’t understand what it is I do as a sex therapist, but I am trained, certified, and a professional therapist who just happens to work in this area and there are so few of us, especially Black ones we are needed.” - Dr. Kres Snyder

What these services look like can range and is dependent on what a client’s issues are. Some find themselves struggling in dating and relationships others may be dealing with body issues related to health, aging, or injury. Others that try sex therapy may be dealing with depression, anxiety, or other emotional traumas that interfere with building strong connections and desiring to be close.

“I would totally go and get this type of therapy, especially if I think it could help but only if my partner was willing to do the work and not using therapy to tell me what I’m doing wrong and never being open to seeing how they contribute to the problem,” said L.J. Billingley

L.J. essentially agrees that sex therapy could benefit a relationship but makes a point that likely discourages couples from feeling confident about the process of therapy.

“Both men and women get into relationships believing things will happen this way or that way, only to realize you have to put in work to make the relationship healthy,” L.J. shared.

Dr. Snyder believes each of us is born wanting some form of connection with others. Her pathway for clients begins with unearthing the conversation of connecting.

CNW: how do you explain what you do as a sex therapist?

Dr. Snyder: “I tell people that I’m a sex and relationship therapist because they are linked together. In order to get to the juicy stuff for WHY people come to see me I practice first talking about clients’ thoughts, habits and understanding about their wants and desires to be connected.”

CNW: Is there medication involved in sex therapy?

Dr. Snyder: “I have several other practitioners I refer people to, I’m invested in holistic practices and it is rare for people to need pharmaceuticals.”

CNW: What contributes to sexual tension and challenges in relationships?

Dr. Snyder: “Anything can come between connecting with your partner, but I do believe that most situations people can work through. Clients have to be willing to do the work”

The work begins with self. We began this journey by learning how to self-reflect and become aware of our own loving habits. Thereafter, we journeyed into the unknown learning how to shoot our shots and invite new energy into our relationships and bedrooms. That foundation brought us to receive insight from Black couples which reminded us that love takes time and effort but having faith can take you far. We land our love series with making you aware of services that may benefit you if you’re willing and ready to put the work in to have the most loving and intimate moments you can stand. Valentine’s Day may have come and gone but you are invited to celebrate being Black and loving every breath you take from here on out. We hope this series has inspired you to seek out the support systems for a healthy sex life and rekindled the flames between you and your partner. We all could use as much Black love in our lives because it matters.

Interested in more from Dr. Snyder find her on IG @mindsempoweredcounseling