designed by annie day
twenty-three my opinion
a distrustful heart is a wounded heart
The bystander effect can be applied in insignificant situations and extremely significant situations where a life can be lost
I
t’s 3:15 a.m., you just parked your car outside of your apartment after a late shift at a restaurant. It’s dark and the only source of light is a flickering street lamp to your left. It feels like a normal night, with the cool air filling your lungs as you begin the walk to your apartment building, but not too far away stands a dark figure. Your pace quickens, but so does his, and he is much faster than you. He is holding a knife. This was a reality for 28-year-old Catherine “Kitty” Genovese. (www.nytimes.com) The man rushed her, jumped on her back and began repeatedly stabbing her.
compiled by annie day
are they scheming? “Goodbye,” I whisper and leave. The gears in my head whirl as I go into a mental panic. They are planning something. They aren’t being kind. They don’t truly care or like me. They can’t be trusted. I grimace as these phrases echo in my mind. I swallow my fear and continue on. My past echoes with the cry of betrayed trust. I have felt the cold steel of the knife of betrayal in my back. Therefore, trust is a gift I see in my peers often. I want to believe the kindness toward me is real, but the wound in my heart will not let me. The wound continues to fester long after it supposedly healed. Wounds of the heart take the longest to heal. I have learned from those I have come to trust that my wound will only continue to eat away at my heart. This is no way to live a life. Living a life of distrust is not worth the pain. The security I think I gain from trusting no one is nothing but an illusion. In truth, I only continue to hurt myself. It is okay to lean on my peers in times of need. People can be kind. People can be trusting. Healing a distrustful heart is hard. Yet, it can be done. I just have to step from the shadows and into the light.
Listen to what they talk about. Are they negative towards others? Do they talk about other people to you? You might want to ask yourself, “If they are comfortable saying this about someone else to me, what are they saying about me to someone else?” Be cautious of telling your secrets to people who are quick to talk about others.
by elizabeth andrews
H
idden behind the mask of my smile hides a truth that eats away at my heart. That truth is that I believe my teenage peers are not naturally worth trusting. When I walk through the halls of this school every one of them could be a possible predator looking to exploit my weaknesses. No one can be trusted. No one can be truthful. No one is sincere. Trust, to me, is a quality that is rarely found among peers. In my eyes, very few have that rare quality that makes me want to trust them. A boy, whom I have known for a while, smiles and holds out his fist waiting for a fist-bump. I tense. This is a trick. He doesn’t want to fist-bump. There is a hidden meaning behind his act. I quickly come up with an excuse. As I walk away, the pain in my heart grows. This is my “social life”. School is no exception. A glance at the clock tells me it’s time to leave and retrieve my sister. I silently pack and know no one will say a word. I am wrong. It starts with one person. Then another. And another. The voices of my classmates stop me in my tracks. I freeze with my hand on the cool, metal door handle. Why? Why has everyone said goodbye? What Look at their behavior. Do they judge people? Do they join in on conversations centered around gossip? If so, this person might be involved in a lot of drama - a warning sign of not being very trustworthy.
Lights turned on in the above apartments and windows opened. One man yelled down, “Hey, let that girl alone!” and the attacker immediately fled. The lights turned off and windows closed as bystanders returned to the comfort of their beds. Kitty pulled herself up and dragged herself to her apartment building, where she tried her hardest to stay conscious. However, her attacker returned. He stabbed her again. More windows flew open, lights turned on. The attacker fled. The same routine. Lights turned off, windows closed, people climbed back in their beds and resumed their own lives. It’s now 3:25 a.m. Kitty dragged herself to the back of the building, hoping to make her entrance there. She made it inside the building, but promptly fell to the floor. The attacker returned and completed what he set out to do: rape and kill Kitty Genovese. The police had still not been notified. “I didn’t want to get involved,” a neighbor of Genovese said. At 4:25 a.m. the ambulance drove off with Genovese’s body. “Then,” a solemn police detective said, “the people came out.” If notified from the first attack, the police could have saved Genovese’s life. Psychologists Bibb Latane and John Darley believe the lack of action to be from a social phenomenon known as the “bystander effect” — the tendency for any given bystander to be less likely to give aid if other bystanders are present. Onlookers are more likely to intervene with fewer people, the more bystanders, the more the responsibility is diffused. In the case of Kitty Genovese’s murder, the onlookers concluded their help was not needed because of the inaction of others.
They say to trust your peers... I don’t think so
24. tell-tale truth
“Oh my God! He stabbed me!” she cried
iris thompson
Promises. You can let them slide once or twice if they never return the pencil that they “promised” they would. But if keeping a promise is a recurring problem, chances are they aren’t very trustworthy.
22 stop and stare
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