The Triangle Issue 2

Page 24

T

here are movies out there that are so horrifically awful that they end up being great. Not “great” in terms of a well-made film, but great because they are a blast to laugh at. All the horrible flaws and bad writing make it a treasure. So I have decided to dig these treasures out of the musty attic of cinema failure and share my thoughts about them to you. So let us dive into the best worst movies ever.

Megashark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

THE BEST

WORST MOVIES

Junior Adam LeClerc reviews horrible movies that are fun to laugh at

SURVEY SAYS 127 students were asked “If a turtle loses its shell, is it...?”

76

Now, this gem was released straight to DVD and very well may be the worst movie of the bunch that I am reviewing. This epic tale follows the adventure of a young marine biologist who, while in the arctic, witnesses a frozen megalodon (enormous extinct species of shark) and a giant octopus break out of their icy tombs and proceed to wreak havoc on the world. The shark, soon after his escape from the ice, takes out a 747 commercial airliner cruising at about 7,000 feet. It was after this scene that I realized that this film was something special. Throughout the film, the monsters continue to terrify the world, but the thing that is truly terrifying about this film is the acting. A dried-up husk of road kill has more acting talent than

all of these actors combined. The cringeworthy dialogue mixed with the horrible acting makes this one a must see for bad movie fans, but remember: you have been warned.

Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance (2011) Nicolas Cage. Love him or hate him, you have to admit he has been in some great films, and some truly horrendous films. This is one of the latter. It continues the adventures of Johnny Blaze the Ghost Rider (Cage) and his continuing clashes with the evil forces of Hell. Cage, who occasionally sells me quite solidly on his acting, does not do so in this film. Johnny Blaze is susceptible to bouts of random rage and primal screaming which strip the film of any sense of legitimacy. These loud outbursts happen in about every single scene. This of course is not the only flaw of the movie; there are countless others, including cheesy effects, bizarre story lines and anti-climactic fight scenes. But even despite these flaws, I was strangely glad that I had watched it when I exited the theater. I had laughed more at this film than I do at many comedies. And for this reason I say it’s a great movie; a horribly-made movie, but a great one

REAL-LIFE “WALL-E”

nonetheless.

Batman and Robin (1997) Earlier I stated that Megashark vs. Giant Octopus may be the worst movie of the bunch I am reviewing. I spoke too soon. Batman and Robin takes the cake. As I watched this movie I had a strong urge to gouge out my eyes. But along with this urge, I had bouts of loud laughter at the fact that every single scene was worse than the one before it. The movie itself is pretty basic; it follows the adventure of Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O’Donnell) as they fight the super villain Mr. Freeze. Freeze, who is played by Arnold Schwarzeneggar, speaks only in puns, and when I say “only,” I mean “only.” Every single line he spits out has some reference to ice, cold temperatures or snow. There is horrible dialogue all around, but as you can guess, Freeze comes out on top by default due to the fact he is played by Arnold and he always brings on the cheese. On top of terrible dialogue, all the sets look like they are from a toy commercial, and that prevents you from getting any connection with the story. This movie was so bad it killed any interest in making a Batman movie for a span of eight years, ending with the release of Batman Begins.

New Mars rover Curiosity was recently launched to Mars. It bears strange resemblance to a familiar Disney character

59.8%

30

23.6%

17

13.3%

04 3.3%

by Andy Carr and Adam LeClerc

24

THE TRIANGLE


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.