1 minute read
The Doxascope
by The Doxa
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Never Settle for less than what you expected, tell them they forgot your spring rolls.
Advertisement
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
It is important to learn from your mistakes so that you can predict the outcome when you eventually do it again.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Next time you’re in an argument ask yourself: do you want to be right or do you want friends?
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Just remember that leaving something until the last minute is not a wise strategy, it is still a strategy nonetheless.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
Remember that thing you did when you thought no one was looking? Well, we saw, and we are still talking about it.
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
Have you ever stopped to wonder how Brian Froese got his luscious locks?
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Next time you find yourself at a crossroads, ask yourself “what would Sue Sorensen do?”
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
What is stopping you from booking room M207 and teaching your own lectures?
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
What if there is a being that only you can see that is always standing behind you?
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Do you ever look at someone and just know that there is not a single thought behind those eyes?
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Next time you are overthinking something, just remember you can’t overthink if you are napping.
Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Embrace the intrusive thoughts, get the cat, buy the coffee, run away and join the circus.
Prof Quotes
“How can you call a four-month-old baby racist?” – John Boopalan
“They don’t let me do brain damage anymore.” – Delmar Epp
“I’m not even opposed to eating horse meat
… Where was I going with this story?” – Dan Epp-Tiessen
“Again, I haven’t said that, you haven’t heard it.” – Sue Sorensen
“It reminds me of the time I ended up in the ER on a camping trip – I missed the wood and hit my shin [with the axe]. Funny thing though, it made a distinct noise … like a xylophone!” – Paul Dyck
“God is better than the ice cream truck!” –Matt Pauls
“Poor woman, hey? Brittney Spears? Going through a lot of stuff.” – Bill Diehl-Jones
“Last time I was in Amsterdam I got hit by a bicycle.” – Karl Koop
