10 FACULTY & STAFF
The beauty of shaky ground
Discovering oneself in the midst of the unknown
I
’ve known solid ground. For more than three decades, I served as a high school English teacher, establishing a firm and familiar rhythm. I awoke each school day eager to create a welcoming environment, to plan engaging lessons, to grade, organize, listen, encourage, support and supervise. Then, my life began to slip. The solid ground on which I’d stood for so long felt like quicksand pulling me under. Feeling stuck between the predictable world in which I lived and a longing to venture out toward fresh possibilities, I stumbled over my fear of the unknown. Restless nights and days of doubt followed until I unearthed internal courage to make a change. Change from the secure to the unfamiliar brings uncertainty, but there is beauty in shaky ground. During months of internal struggle, I found that my soul was the best source for security. I began taking daily time for silence to quiet the voices of doubt in my mind and to hear the longings of my heart. And, my heart spoke powerfully to me. When did I stop listening to myself? I wondered. The message from my depths urged time in nature. I obeyed. Basking in the sun, kissed by the breeze, sitting on the porch celebrating the rain’s song and receiving its freshness, I found a storehouse of courage to reinvent my life. I broke the cycle of routine, activated a list of new possibilities and began to take small steps on shaky ground feeling unleashed. Through bird flights, cloud dances and cicada hymns, I felt the presence of something – someone bigger than myself, and instead of making me feel small and unimportant, I felt acknowledged and called. I reconnected with God in small but meaningful ways. Shaky ground has led to change and growth. It has led to God moments in everyday circumstances. The predictable routine can be reassuring, but sometimes you need to seek new
ground. I dare you to take a step on shaky ground and find new beauty in yourself and the world. Listen to your soul. Quiet yourself to hear the small, still voice of your Creator and Savior. Dig into your deepest fears and joys, and take the first scary and beautiful steps toward selfdiscovery. “The key to being happy is knowing that you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.” – Dodinsky
Kerrie Schnell is assistant director of the Studio for Writing and Speaking.
