Recoil November 2013

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NOVEMBER 2013

NEWS SATIRE YOU CAN TRUST

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FR

EE

Washington, D.C. – George Alexi exhausted the last of his supply of doctor prescribed anxiety medication Saturday and Sunday while the 36-yearold freelance writer devoted the majority of his weekend to trying to register online for the health insurance. “It took me at least twelve absolutely maddening hours in front of the computer before I finally

Earth Downgraded From “Gently Used” To “Write-Off”

“I’m praying it goes smoothly from here on out or I’ll have to go out of pocket to get a refill just so I can finish getting signed up for health care.”

Above: Affordable health care applicant George Alexi experiences anxiety trying to register for medical help for his anxiety.

got registered to even start shopping for health care – which I’m sure will be a whole other nightmare onto itself,” said Alexi Sunday afternoon, swallowing the last of his Xanax pills in attempt to remain calm after finally accessing the federal data hub following innumerable failed attempts. “I

SEE XANAX PAGE 6

Washington, D.C. – Equality supporters for monounsaturated, polyunsaturated and unsaturated lipids assembled on the National Mall Tuesday morning to call for legislation granting full nutritional rights for all triglycerides – esters derived

“Trannies shouldn’t be treated any differently,” said Lawrence.

Rollerskating Now Less Socially Acceptable Than Prescription Drug Abuse TuPAC Raises Money For Politically Interested Rappers

from glycerol and fatty acids which are routinely singled out and treated as a blight on the nation’s food culture. “Trans fats have just as much right to be part of the dining community as any other foodbased molecule,” said Allied Food Lobby (AFL) spokesman Brett Lawrence. “Some restaurants even go so far as to advertise the fact that no trans fats are allowed in their eateries. That’s discrimination. Trannies shouldn’t be treated any differently just because they have a double carbon bond.” Opponents of trans

Above: Unsaturated lipids supporters rally on the National Mall.

fats have been quick to compare the AFL’s campaign with last year’s effort to combat

equipment Tuesday evening during time he’d previously reserved for mowing his lawn. “Ever since [doctors] leveled with me [about his condition], I haven’t bothered to make my bed, do dishes, pay

Travis informed sources of his future plans to pursue other reckless daredevil stunts during the time he’d normally invested in vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash and grooming himself.

Fall PetTV Lineup To Include Nine Lives To Live, Strays Of Our Lives Confused Hippie Applies For Medical LSD Card Tension Mounted

lactose intolerance, which met with limited success.–Drew Miller

Above: Dirty dishes continue to be ignored while Travis (inset) is out doing kickass shit.

Traverse City, Mich. – After receiving a second conclusive medical diagnosis two weeks ago, terminally ill IT specialist Brad Travis hasn’t been getting much work done around the house, the 38-year-old stage four lung cancer patient admitted

Tuesday. “The doctors say that my cancer is continuing to grow despite their attempts to kill the cells through chemotherapy, so my days above ground are numbered, plain and simple,” said Travis as riggers outfitted the bachelor with base-jumping

bills or even empty the mailbox, because, what’s the point, right? If I’m a dead man anyway, I’d rather be out living like there’s no tomorrow instead of wasting that time making sure my laundry gets put away nice and neat.” Before jumping from the Park Place Hotel’s rooftop, Travis informed sources of his future plans to pursue other reckless daredevil stunts during the time he’d normally invested in vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash and grooming himself.–Cliff Frantz


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VANDALISM

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YOUTH

Above: Dirty dishes continue to be ignored while Travis (inset) is out doing kickass shit.

Above: Wayland, who recently became bored enough to engage her family in conversation.

Mesa, Ariz. – Four Native American awoke to find two conical tents fashioned youths were taken into custody by in her front yard using animal skins and Mesa Police Department officers Oct. wooden poles. “A bunch of other kids 31 after neighbors from school said they Neighbors confirmed confirmed witnessing were going to teepee the teenagers erect witnessing the teenagers erect [some] houses, and dozens of teepees dozens of teepees overnight I didn’t hear about overnight during any of them getting in during a misunderstood a misunderstood trouble or anything,” attempt to participate in a said one of the eighth attempt to participate in a classic Devil’s classic Devil’s Night prank. grade boys who Night prank. participated in the “Vandalism is vandalism, regardless of confused defacement of private property whether or not these idiot kids put up by constructed the nomadic structures temporary dwelling huts in people’s yards stereotypically associated with Native instead of throwing rolls of toilet paper Americans.–Drew Miller into their trees,” said Mary Grayson, who

Fort Wayne, Ind. – Sources close to Tami dad and I and even initiating dialogue with Wayland, a modern 17-year-old who her little brother, whom she claims to hate,” rarely talks to her parents or siblings in said mother Gale Wayland. “Once we favor of going out or Wayland has been hanging found out that Kellie electronically chatting been grounded, around the house and even had nonstop with best it all started to make friend Kellie Zielinski, engaging other family members sense, of course. confirmed Sunday in conversation since Zielinski [Kellie’s parents] must that Wayland has taken away her was grounded by her parents have been hanging around computer and cell the house and for smoking cigarettes Friday. phone too, because even engaging other family members in Tami is so desperate for human contact conversation since Zielinski was grounded that she’s been reduced to talking to [her by her parents for smoking cigarettes parents].” Wayland’s mother expressed Friday. “At first we didn’t understand why mixed feelings regarding Zielinski’s Tami was dawdling around the house all absence and inevitable return to her weekend, voluntarily interacting with her SEE TEEN PAGE 6


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INTERNATIONAL

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FITNESS

Above: There’s not even enough room for a caption because yo mama is so fat, her favoriteAbove: Syrian President Bashar al-Assad took responsibility for the massive preservation.

Aleppo, Syria – The entire city of Aleppo statement. “This recent attack is just one was protected from spoilage Thursday in in a series of governmental infringements what U.N. Security on Syrians’ leftover Council officialsPresident al-Assad acceptedhummus. This is suspect was an the kind responsibility for the attack, exactly experimental Saran of attack that was promising to continue to globally outlawed by gas attack launched by Syrian President 1977 Tupperware “do whatever it takes to the Bashar al-Assad Accords.” President against his own preserve [his] country.” al-Assad accepted people’s perishable responsibility for the food supply. “The Syrian government attack during a recent press appearance, has long been suspected of researching promising to continue to “do whatever it and developing a number of weapons of takes to preserve [his] country.”–Drew mass preservation,” U.N. representative Miller Samantha Power read from a prepared

Detroit, Mich. – Sources close to Yo claim her for Spain before realizing she was Mama – whose corpulence is such that not, in fact, an undiscovered continent. Yo she once stepped Mama’s health has on a dollar bill and become a concern made change – has recently, as none physically expanded of the local blood to the point where banks carry Ragu. At there isn’t even press time, Yo Mama enough space to was reportedly both print this article’s asleep and still headline in its watching television allotted space with while currently Yo Mama around. Her continued obesity, spanning two time zones.–Drew Miller which has caused the City of Detroit to zone her for commercial development, shows no sign of stopping. Last week, as Yo Mama used the community pool, explorers tried to

Her continued obesity, which has caused the City of Detroit to zone her for commercial development, shows no sign of stop–

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recoil Publisher

Brian Edwards

brian.h.edwards@gmail.com

Managing Editor Cliff Frantz

cliff.frantz@recoilmag.com

Entertainment/Music Editor Eric Mitts

eric.mitts@recoilmag.com

Creative Director Kim Kibby

kimkibby@revuewm.com

Advertising Molly C. Rizor

616.608.6170 sales@revuewm.com

Writers

Lauren Allen Mike Church Sherrie Coke Ryan Cunningham Wes Eaton Kimberly Frantz Naomi Goedert Adam Levine Michael Edwin Martin Dr. Steve Mikulak Drew Miller Eric Mitts Mark Ritzema Sheila Streeter Brent Velting Andrew Watson David Zann

Distribution

Randy Hughes Megan Dooley Reverend Charles Preston Smith

Safety Officer Dick Bill

Recoil

65 Monroe Center Suite 5 Grand Rapids, MI 49503 Ph: 616.608.6170 info@recoilmag.com

MISSION STATEMENT Recoil offers a humorous and provocative reflection of the state of modern society through the use of satire, in an effort to maintain awareness of our culture’s imperfections. PUBLICATION INFORMATION Recoil uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The content of this publication is © Copyright 2013 by Blue V Productions, LLC, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publishers and a pretty goddamned good reason.

EDITORIAL

I’m Lustier Than Ever

When I admitted back in 1976 that I had Have you ever see that movie What “lust in my heart,” I really didn’t think much Women Want, with Mel Gibson? My postof it. It was an interview with Playboy, we Presidential life is like that – except I were talking about females, and I was a firmly reject the hatred and divisiveness of Democrat – anti-Semitism. My publicist tells me more I thought it people have read my pickup lines blog was pretty than ever watched my nationally televised clear they wanted me You may have seen the movie to talk about Deliverance – now that’s a boning other hostage crisis. w o m e n . But that i n t e r v i e w addresses. And with lines like this, it’s rocked the not hard to see why: “I may be a peanut c a m p a i g n farmer, but that’s not the only tuber I’d like and I to show you.” As I’ve aged, I’ve tried to stay pretty would have r e t r a c t e d open-minded. I guess you could say I’m a By Jimmy Carter the remarks pansexual now, after that summer I spent except for one thing: It’s true. I’m the in Haiti with that feral pig. That’s the benefit of doing humanitarian work all over the biggest horndog in the lower 48. That’s right, Ol’ Jimmy Carter is still alive world – plenty of flights, plenty of hotels, and kicking – and humping everything that plenty of opportunities to pork-and-choose from the local selection. moves. Last That’s the benefit of doing And the craziest part? This week I picked up this girl at a humanitarian work all over the world guy still has the stamina of diner by asking – plenty of flights, plenty of hotels, a horse. Last year’s Gang her if she’d help plenty of opportunities to pork-and- Bang in Georgia (which I’ve hosted annually since me solve my sexual energy choose from the local selection. 1985) lasted three days – and even then it only shut crisis (the crisis being that I’ve got way too much of it). And down because we ran out of cocaine and two days ago I screwed two Puerto Rican whiskey. Dozens of folk rode the Jimmy hookers in a port-a-john at the state fair. train during that party. Now “Gang Bang in Georgia” might I’ll never look at corndogs the same way call to mind the stereotypical portrayal of again. Southern sexuality found in our media. You may have seen the movie Deliverance – now that’s a hostage crisis. But it’s really important to note that the movie is an imagined version of the modern South; it doesn’t reflect reality. No sir, if four handsome city slickers wandered off into

It was an interview with Playboy, we were talking about females, and I was a Democrat – I thought it was pretty clear.

my backyard, you’d never see them again. And I certainly wouldn’t make release a movie about it. No sir, that footage would stay carefully archived in my private collection. Some people tell me I really screwed a lot of people as U.S. President, but I’d like to think my best work in that department is still to come. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have to see about “giving aid” to a group of Indonesian women I met online.

Recoil is free to the West Michigan community, but please, one per person. Anyone removing issues in bulk will be promptly executed. MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscriptions are available for $25 for one year (12 issues). Mail check or money order payable to: Revue Holding Company

65 Monroe Center Suite 5 Grand Rapids, MI 49503

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SOLUTION TO PAGE 8 CROSSWORD

FROM XANAX PAGE 1 spent all day Saturday filling out detailed registration forms that HealthCare.gov would refuse to accept because they were ‘incomplete.’ If I hadn’t had some Xanax left yesterday I probably would have smashed my laptop into pieces. But now I’m out of anxiety medication, so I’m praying it goes smoothly from here on out or I’ll have to go out of pocket to get a refill just so I can finish getting signed up for health care.”– Cliff Frantz FROM TEEN PAGE 4 daughter’s life following the two-week disruption of the friends’ endless chitchat. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s been nice and all, talking with Tami about what’s going on in her life and whatnot, but I never realized how much my daughter loves to talk. She’s trapped me into a couple of conversations that mostly equate to her telling me her opinion of everything under the sun for three hours. It’s nice to be part of her life, just maybe not that much of a part of it.”–Cliff Frantz


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SPORTS a swing or not.” Ignorant of the nuanced strategy taking place behind the scenes – vital elements such as each player’s stats, the order of batters, the number of pitches thrown, the number of the inning, the runners’ positions, communication and gut instinct – occasional baseball fans remain optimistic that the 180-game race for the 2014 Championship will stretch out over next summer for what seems like an eternity before one team emerges

“Nothing makes for great entertainment like watching batters step out of the box to retighten the Velcro straps on their batting gloves after every pitch whether they took a swing or not.”

Above: Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz gets started dicking around before throwing his next pitch sometime this century.

Boston, Mass. – After months and months and months of agonizingly slowpaced preseason, regular season and postseason games, the American Major League Baseball (MLB) season finally – thank the good Lord, finally – drew to a

close in late October with the culmination of the 2013 World Series. “Jesus, come on – throw the goddamned ball already,” millions of viewers groaned in unison for the umpteenth time as Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz

dicked around on the mound for his usual 30-plus seconds between pitches. “Nothing makes for great entertainment like watching batters step out of the box to retighten the Velcro straps on their batting gloves after every pitch whether they took

victorious in what somehow continues to be America’s favorite sport. “Next season we’re hoping to slow the game down even more by encouraging more timeouts, mound conferences, pitching changes, commercial breaks, umpire meetings, in-game entertainment, pre-game singing of the national anthem, injury cleanups and batter walkup music,” said Joe Torre, MLB’s executive vice president for baseball operations. “It’s hard to lose viewers who are satisfied with watching [pitchers and batters] walk around doing fuck-all in between swinging a stick at a ball.”–Cliff Frantz

CRIME Huntsville, Ala. – Thomas Abrams, a 22-year-old resident arrested for petty theft Saturday evening for shoplifting several small-value items from a local pharmacy, conducted himself in an equally petty manner when confronted by store employees and police officials following the theft, sources agreed Sunday. “What a jerk that dude was, making all those petty remarks toward employees while the cops were hauling him out of the store,” said Marie Connelly, an employee at the 13th Avenue Walgreens store where Abrams allegedly attempted the petty theft. “Like, for example, when the cops were escorting him down aisle four to take him out to their car, he told [employee] Mary [Riley] to ‘move her fat ass.’ I thought that was an awfully petty thing to say, picking on Mary’s weight like that. It’s not like she’s so big that she takes up the whole aisle; he could’ve gotten

“He told [employee] Mary [Riley] to ‘move her fat ass.’ I thought that was an awfully petty thing to say, picking on Mary’s weight like that.”

around her if he tried hard enough. He was just being petty – just like his theft.” According to employees and other witnesses present at the scene, Abrams was in possession of at least four store items when Walgreens security guards apprehended him in the store’s parking lot

after Abrams left the store without paying. David Gibbons, night manager of the Walgreens location, was in charge of the store at the time of the petty theft, and said that none of the items found in Abrams

Gibbons: “A pack of playing cards, a sample packet of shampoo, a bottle of Yoohoo® and a Slim Jim® beef stick. That’s, like, the definition of petty theft.” possession at the time of his arrest had a retail value of more than $1.99. “Never mind what [the suspect] said about Mary – you want to talk about petty, look at the sort of stuff he stole,” said Gibbons. “A pack of playing cards, a sample packet of shampoo, a bottle of Yoohoo® and a Slim Jim® beef stick. That’s, like, the definition of petty theft.” Despite the pettiness of both the theft and the thief, executives at Walgreens Corporation told sources that the company will press charges against Abrams for the petty theft – an action which prompted Abrams to counter with allegations that it is in fact these Walgreens executives who are the ones being petty. “They’re going to prosecute me over six dollars-worth of merchandise? That’s rich. Hell, one of the items wasn’t even merchandise – it was a free sample package of shampoo,” said Abrams. “How can they charge me with stealing something that they give away for free? That’s fucking petty, man.”–Cliff Frantz

Above: A police photo of the accused petty thief.


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TIPS

A page from the Recoil handbook...

EXERCISING YOUR SPIRITUALITY Spirituality can take on many forms, from mediation and yoga to prayer and sacrifice. Below are some tips for taking your inner bliss to new heights. • Meditation is a great way to make it look like you’re searching for enlightenment while you’re

actually just rethinking the plotline of Breaking Bad.

• During a crisis, take a minute to breathe deeply until you calm down, provided you’re not

underwater.

• Be mindful of your surroundings -- as if you are seeing the world for the first time since you got

your smartphone.

• Read inspirational material: Chicken Soup For The Soul; Eat, Pray, Love; Hustler; etc. • Your worshipers expect you to sleep with their wives/daughters. Don’t let your cult

congregation down.

• When confronted with something you don’t want to do, use your faith to force yourself to do

anyone else who insists on saying “Happy Holidays.” Pretentious pricks. • Set the mood with a few candles and some music, particularly Motorhead - because Lemmy is

God.

• Seek out the old singer from Creed and punch him straight in the cocksucker. This will liven

your spirits right up.

• Spirituality comes from within. Somewhere left of the cockles and to the north of the loins. • Do something nice for a buddy. Wash his car. Take his dog for a walk. Teach his wife a lesson

she won’t soon forget.

• Remember the acronym ABJ: Always Be Judging.

it as God’s will. Or alternately, a reason God won’t allow you to do it. So pretty much just do whatever you want.

• Your local yoga studio is a great place to find spiritually like-minded people to masturbate to

• Scratch-off lottery tickets are God’s way of both testing your faith in Him and telling you how

• Not sure what side of the spiritual fence you’re on? Impregnate your teenaged girlfriend and let

much of an idiot you are.

later.

your next decision be your guide.

• When you think about it, inserting your cock into a strange

vagina is the greatest act of faith one can perform. I mean there could be anything in there.

• Ease your worries by solving all your problems and getting

everything you want.

• Put your faith in a higher deity like Jesus, Allah, Zeus, Zeus

Jr., Dr. Mayhem, The Chubby Guy, Wrench, or even Dave. • Make a commitment to pray for 20 minutes every day.

Doing so at bedtime is a surefire way to put you to sleep. • If you’re single, tell your friends you’ve given your heart to

Jesus when they ask why you don’t have a boyfriend.

• In casual conversation, find a way to mention how you

hate the following people: Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher, Penn Jillette and

CROSSWORD

ZIPPITY DO ACROSS 1. Criminal _____ (CBS) 6. Infected eyelid bump 10. German submarines 12. ____ code 13. Egyptian sun god 14. Loud continued noise 15. Opposite of far 16. Food Network’s Garten 18. Male geese 20. American Gods author Gaiman 22. Hair goo 23. Pound, Klein, Koenig 25. Shogun: ______ War (Creative Assembly strategy game) 29. Sharp knock 31. 1976 movie starring Robert DeNiro as Travis Bickle 32. Damaging a stocking 36. Industrial rock band founded by Trent Reznor 37. Mild, domesticated 38. Bar ______ (accumulating bill)

DAH

crossword by kimberly frantz

40. “Turn Me ___, Dead Man” (phrase purportedly heard when playing Beatles “Revolution 9” backwards) 41. Planet of the ____ 42. Basic triangular home structure 44. 1997 movie starring Mick Jagger, Clive Owen, Jude Law, and Ian McKellen) 45. Short wedding speech DOWN 1. Brand of eye drops 2. Brand of electric guitar 3. Say _ to drugs 4. Father (informal) 5. BBC’s Top Gear’s mysterious professional driver 6. The ____ is a 1993 American comedy-drama sports film about a group of young baseball players during the summer of 1962 7. _____’s Lounge (movie starring Steve Buscemi

8. Album of the ____ by Faith No More 9. Hearing units 11. Grab, take 17. _____ plane 19. Fishing apparatus 21. Large, larger, ______ 24 Droop, settle 26. Black and ____ (drink consisting of a dark beer, and a paler ale) 27. General statements accepted as truth as basis for discussion or argument 28. Small brownish Old World finch 30. Animal rights organization 32. Thrust of a pointed weapon 33. Back of the neck 34. Religious word of agreement or approval 35. _____ Punk (electronic music duo) 39. Male sigling (shortened form) 43. Well known support group (acronym)

THE SOLUTION FOR THIS PUZZLE CAN BE FOUND ON PAGE 6



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LOCAL CD REVIEWS

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REQUIRED LISTENING BREATHE OWL BREATHE

PASSAGE OF PEGASUS EAST JORDAN, MICH. The natural wonder of Breathe Owl Breathe’s music has long felt like the stuff of fantasy. The simple fact that, in this new digital millennium, a trio of friends in a Northern Michigan cabin can compose such simple, moving songs and tour the country feels surreal, but beautifully so. The sad reality, that earlier this year, before the band could release this, their subtle yet somber sixth album, their van and equipment was stolen, snaps the story back, but doesn’t destroy the lush imagery and instrumentation of the set. Bellied by lead vocalist Micah Middaugh’s rich baritone, the band’s songs continue to exist in their own world, with cellist Andrea Moreno-Bealis and percussionist/keyboardist Trevor Hobbs’ mystifying and minimalistic arrangements becoming all the more engaging with the assistance of producer Eric Johnson (of The Fruit Bats). Catch Breathe Owl Breathe live at Shakespeare’s Lower Level Nov. 3, or check out breatheowlbreathe.com for more.–Eric Mitts

LAKE TIMBER

PLATYPUS GRAND RAPIDS, MIICH. Made up of former members of West Michigan bands Minnesota and Damned Dusty Roosters, this six-piece outfit plays very Pitchfork-pleasing indie-rock, blending trendie banjo nouveaufolk with psych-ed out electric leads, and their own “poppy seed punk.” The new band has already opened for the likes of Mac DeMarco at The Pyramid Scheme (where they’ll return Dec. 11, opening for Gringo Star) and this six-song demo does a decent job of debuting their sound, rough edges and all. Their slacker lyrical style and group vocal delivery slogs down some of the songs, like “Cool,” and “Off A Cliff,” but they show enough promise to make their full-length album, due out sometime this winter, worth listening for. Check out laketimber.bandcamp.com now for more.–Eric Mitts

MAKE NO HEROES

BODY THEORY GRAND RAPIDS, MICH. This is a strange “where did these guys come from?” disc. It’s made up of polished hard rock like AC/DC and Guns n’ Roses – though significantly less violent, and a lot more Cheap Tricky. It’s not a clone, though – that DNA is long gone anyway. Lacking the hot knife-edge of those bands, the disc makes up for it with variety of style and well executed simplicity. Sort of a menagerie of all things hard rock from 1975 to 1989 – enough nostalgia to get you there, but enough integrity to carry the album, especially if you are a fan of the genre. Go to facebook. com/makenoheroes for more info.–Ryan Cunningham

AU REVOIR SIMONE MOVE IN SPECTRUMS INSTANT RECORDS

8.5/10

Cooing, keyboard-driven indie rock bands are in no danger of extinction, that much is obvious to anyone who pays attention to such things, so when one of them manages to rise above the heap or distinguish themselves, it can be considered a small triumph unto itself. Au Revoir Simone are a trio of young women from Brooklyn who have been turning heads since 2009, with their last release Still Night, Still Light. Four years on brings their fourth LP, the aptly titled Move in Spectrums; the time away was wisely spent finishing degrees, making solo albums, absorbing other musical influences – none of which seems to have had any sort of diminishing impact on the band’s fervent love of Casios! The record is positively drenched in them, from toe to tip. And though the tools may remain the same, it could be argued that every song on this record is a noticeable improvement over the bands past work – every song! Opening track “More Than” sets a dark tone early before lifting off into a sensational sing-along, buoyed by a steady pulse that eventually pushes the track over the top, vocals and keys tumbling over each other playfully. “The Lead Is Galloping” coasts along on soaring choruses and surprisingly punchy drum fills while album centerpiece “Love You Don’t Know Me” sounds like the sort of song you figure must have been a million-seller for, like, Carole King or Anne Murray back in the day, something that you should know already, something that you used to hear in the backseat of your mom’s old Datsun that lingers in the depths of your memory like an echo. It’s a gorgeous and simple song, stark by comparison to the rest of the set, but no less moving or compelling. It’s easy to slap on headphones and get swept up into this music. The warmth is consuming. “Boiling Point,” with its gently rolling waves and chanting “ha ha has” could be a proper substitute for Valium. If Move in Spectrums were the group’s debut album, they’d be taking their bows, collecting their awards and reveling in the space currently occupied by Haim or whoever else. Sadly, the world is imperfect.–Andrew Watson


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REQUIRED LISTENING ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ROOTS WISE UP GHOST

8.5/10

BLUE NOTE Wow! When news first emerged that grizzled pop icon Elvis Costello was matching wits with Philadelphia’s mighty Roots crew, there was a predictably high level of confusion and curiosity among musicologists and hip-hop heads alike. This being Costello, it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility that actual rapping might be involved (thankfully, it is not) and this being the Roots, a modern day Booker T and the MG’s, a group capable of literally any maneuver, all options could conceivably be on the table. I, in my infinite wisdom, predicted it would go horribly wrong, and I have respect for all parties involved. Costello, for all his excursions and experiments, often winds up in the interesting-but-not-necessarily-listenable category. Excepting that phenomenal late-70s to mid-80s run he had with the Attractions, his career, while always compelling, seems to err on the side of extravagance. He has flirted with every genre imaginable, displaying a respectable fearlessness and a gift for renaissance. But how often do you pop in Il Sogno, or Profane and Sugarcane? Have you even heard of them? This record ran the risk of becoming one of those records, in my early, uninformed opinion. Then I heard it. Wise Up Ghost is easily the greatest Elvis Costello release since 2002’s When I Was Cruel, and possibly the best thing he’s worked on since his heyday, though to be fair, I haven’t analyzed all 32 of the man’s albums. The Roots bring elastic soul and airtight rhythm to an artist who these days is known for quirky, troubadour-style balladry. The results are magnificent. “Walk Us Uptown” brings you up to speed in a heartbeat – funky keyboard riff, horns piping all around, Questlove’s subtly intricate drumming pushing things forward. Costello seems completely at home in this kind of groove, absolutely nailing the phrasing and matching the beat’s cool swagger with equal sneer. Conversely, The Roots give in nicely to Costello’s pop sensibilities on other moments like the lush ballad “If I Could Believe” or on the deliciously mellow “Tripwire,” in which Costello reveals that “just because you don’t speak the language, doesn’t mean that you can’t understand.” That seems an appropriate metaphor for this strange and successful relationship. With the burdens of late-night Jimmy Fallon TV duty possibly beginning to wear on the Roots, Questlove in particular, maybe this project pays significant dividends for them as well. For good or ill, Wise Up Ghost seems to be the kind of project that always gets rewarded on Grammy night. What matters most is how it sounds, though, and it bumps around real nice.–Andrew Watson

POLVO SIBERIA MERGE

8/10

2013 has seen a slew of artists returning from great hiatuses, and while Polvo’s official reunion came in 2008, Siberia being the second album they’ve released in 16 years is as noteworthy to me as any of the others. What is astonishing is how well it sounds in comparison to the work the band produced in the mid-90s with brilliant albums like Exploded Drawing and Today’s Active Lifestyles. Opener “Total Immersion” starts rocking immediately, like yesterday, literally racing to life. Singer/guitarist Ash Bowie sounds like he hasn’t aged a day, and the band’s unique time shifts and intense chemistry are as compelling today as they were 20 years ago. Polvo sounds like nobody else, a claim that is becoming increasingly harder and harder to make.–AW

THE AVETT BROTHERS MAGPIE AND THE DANDELION AMERICAN/UNIVERSAL

7/10

Recorded during the same sessions as their last album, 2012’s The Carpenter, The Avett Brothers’ latest doesn’t craft anything new, but doesn’t disappoint either. The set starts with “Open-Ended Life,” a dusty road, soul-of-the-South rocker that’s plays like the band’s signature. It mixes Scott Avett’s plaintive vocals and banjo plucking with Seth Avett’s jangly electric guitar leads and harmonies, and kicks things off in high swing. Most of the album, however, maintains the mid-tempo, sing-along sway started on the Avetts’ breakthrough, 2009’s I & Love & You, with plenty of piano-powered ballads (“Good To You”), acoustic laments (the excellent “Morning Song” and the misplaced live track “Souls Like The Wheels”), while cellist Joe Kwon’s arrangements add extra emotion to the already heavyhearted set (“Part From Me” and closer “The Clearness Is Gone”).–Eric Mitts

THE MEN

CAMPFIRE SONGS SACRED BONES

7.5/10

Last year, Brooklyn noiseniks The Men found a house in the quiet confines of Big Indian, N.Y., and committed themselves to a full-scale exploration of vintage swamp blues, eventually emerging with the moody, fantastic New Moon, a non-assuming set that has gradually revealed itself to be among the group’s best works. Half a year later, a coda emerges: Campfire Songs, a literally-titled campfire collection of five acoustic tracks, two stripped down re-workings from New Moon (“I Saw Her Face” The Seeds”) and three new songs. The theme is drone and strum, muddy swirls with vocals buried deep in the mix, and the results further the notion that The Men are one of the more capable and eclectic rock bands working.–AW

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LOCAL ACT It’s a pretty awesome feeling when you discover a genuinely talented band. It’s an even better feeling when you find out that said band is from your hometown. Enter: Uncommon Road. Comprised of five dangerously talented musicians (Sean Louis, Andrew VandenBerg, Nathan Jean, Cash Rock and Kala Chantelle – a frontwoman that could give Hayley Williams a serious run for her money), these guys know how to do rock right. With heavy guitar that makes it impossible not to tip your head to, drums that resonate in your rib cage, and vocals that range from harsh to angelic in one verse, these guys are far from one-note. Upon a quick Google search you might have a hard time finding more than a song or two,

UNCOMMON ROAD EP Release Nov. 9

though. That’s because they’re in the midst of turning what used to be a musical hobby into a full-time gig. Currently preparing for the official release of their debut EP on Nov 9, it doesn’t sound like these guys are new to the scene by any means. The production on the EP matches the band members’ level of talent as well, complementing their unapologetic sound; there’s never too much of one element. The group is on tour until Nov. 16, hitting up venues all around Michigan. The night of their album release, you can find the guys in Allegan playing at Griswold Auditorium. In the meantime, hit up their website and watch their music video for “To Be Found.”–Lauren Allen

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WEST MICHIGAN VENUES

GRAND RAPIDS

Log Cabin

20 Monroe

1033 Lake Drive SE

Bobarino’s (inside The B.O.B.)

616.356.2000

Bistro Bella Vita 44 Grandville SW 616.222.4600

Billy’s Lounge 1437 Wealthy SE 616.459.5757

The B.O.B.

2401 S. Division

Mangiamo! 616.742.0600

Monkey Bar 20 Monroe 616.356.2000 thebob.com

Monte’s 438 Bridge NW 616.774.5969

Mulligan’s

20 Monroe

1518 Wealthy St.

616.356.2000 thebob.com

The Muze

Bull’s Head

438 Bridge NW 616.774.5969

188 Monroe 616.454.3580

Calvin College 3201 Burton St. 616.957.6282

Chicago Pub & Grill 4050 Chicago Drive 616.538.1853

Crush 20 Monroe

(inside The B.O.B.)

616.356.2000

Deltaplex 2500 Turner Ave. 616.559.8000

Dr. Grin’s Comedy Club 20 Monroe

(inside The B.O.B.)

616.356.2000

Eve 20 Monroe

(inside The B.O.B.)

Nick Fink’s 3965 West River NE 616.784.9886

One Trick Pony 136 Fulton St. 616.235.7669

Grille Bayview Gardens 1590 56th St. 3645 Bannick Dr.

12504 East D Ave. 269.731.4911

Boomerang’s

Sportsman’s

269.373.1412

(Paw Paw) 269.657.5615

711 W. Michigan Ave. 126 E. Michigan

Brickyard Pub & Grille 1290 M-89 W (Plainwell) 269.685.0333

Corner Bar & Grille 1030 E. Vine 269.385.2028

Craftsman Chop Co. 6905 Sears Dr. (Portage) 269.327.2000

Daisy Mae’s

2688 Patterson Rd The Orbit Room (Wayland) 2525 Lake Eastbrook 269.792.9426 616.942.2335

The Pyramid Scheme 68 Commerce

Quinn & Tuite’s

District Square

440 E. North St.

1152 Leonard NW 616.451.0044

5301 Comstock Ave.

M-89 Sports Bar 129 E. Allegan

Flanagan’s Pub 139 Pearl NW

633 Ottawa 616.356.2346

Holiday Bar 801 5th St. 616.456.9058

HopCat Brewery 25 Ionia Ave. 616.451.HOPS

Intersection 133 Grandville 616.451.8232

J. Gardella’s Tavern 11 Ionia SW 616.459.8824

The Landing 270 Ann St. NW

(inside the Radisson Hotel)

616.363.7748

State Theatre

Root Gallery

3013 Oakland Dr. 269.342.5208

Main Street Pub

2843 Eastern Ave. SE 5462 Gull Rd.

The Reservoir

1418 Plainfield NE 616.451.0010

The Stache

269.344.7247

Monaco Bay 300 E. Michigan 269.384.6044

133 Grandville

Old Dog Tavern

616.363.7748

269.370.1283

(inside the Intersection)

Tavern on the Square

404 S. Burdick

(St. Joseph) 269.983.4111

The Union

Foundry Hall

125 S. Kalamazoo Mall 269.384.6756

University Theatre

Gilmore Theatre Complex

422 Eagle St. (South Haven) 269.767.5453

Itty Bitty Bar & Grill 1136 Ottawa Beach Rd.

1903 W. Washington (Holland)

The Venue

616.399.5731

3750 E. Kilgore Rd. Kirby House 2 Washington St. 269.345.1608

(Battle Creek) 269.962.7622

Wayside West

(Grand Haven) 616.846.3299

Lakeshore Tavern 1963 Lakeshore Dr.

3406 Stadium Dr.

(Muskegon)

402 E. Kalamazoo

Old Hat

Y Bar

LANSING

Little River Casino US-31 & M-22 (Manistee) 888.568.2244

Blackened Moon The Livery Concert Hall 190 5th St. 3208 S. MLK Blvd.

Colonial Bar & Grille 3425 S. MLK Blvd. 517.882.6132

(Benton Harbor) 269.925.8760

Park Theatre 248 S. River Ave. 616.355.7275

2005 E. Michigan

New Holland Brewing Co.

517.482.6376

66 E. 8th St.

Green Door Harper’s 131 Albert Ave.

(Holland) 616.355.6422

517.333.4040

Parrot’s Lounge

Impulse II

234 River

600 N. Homer 517.333.9104

(Holland) 616.396.4577

114 N. Main

The Loft

Pint N’ Quart

(Lawton) 269.624.6445

414 E. Michigan Ave. 950 W. Norton (Muskegon)

Ouzo’s

517.267.7898

4072 Lake Michigan

Mac’s Bar

Rosebud

Tip Top Deluxe Bar & Grill

269.373.6878

517.484.6795

(Grand Haven) 616.846.7788

100 Ionia SW

The Venue

760 Butterworth 616.272.3910

Van Andel Arena 130 W. Fulton 616.742.6600

Wealthy Street Theatre 1130 Wealthy SE

Last Chance Saloon

KALAMAZOO

1132 Burton SE

266 E. Michigan Ave. 2700 E. Michigan

Paisano’s 16 N. Main St. (Three Rivers) 269.278.8525

Papa Pete’s 502 S. Burdick 269.388.2196

Planet Rock 191 Angell St. (Battle Creek) 269.962.2121

Moriarty’s 802 E. Michigan Ave.

Rush Street 760 W. Broadway Ave.

LAKESHORE

Val-Du-Lakes Bar & Grill

Boathouse

600 Fishermen St. (St. Joseph) 269.983.3455

Boathouse 449 Water St.

107 Generations Dr.

916 Michigan NE

(Three Oaks) 269.756.3879

241 E. Kalamazoo 269.342.7100

Captain Jack’s

616.458.1612

The Annex

Side Track Bar &

Acorn Theater

100 Washington

517.485.5287

Shakespeare’s Lower Level

Logan’s Alley

506 Pleasant St.

2804 W. Michigan

Karovas/ River City Saloon Lamplighter

Main Street Grill

616.356.2000

Czars

616.676.9785

Rocky’s

(inside The B.O.B.)

269.857.2162

(Richland) 269.629.9460

616.928.0699

Riverbend Bar

(Conklin) 616.899.2640

20 Monroe

M-43 & M-89

Kalamazoo Valley Wild Bull Saloon 61 E. 9th St. Museum (Holland) 139 S. Edward St.

(Otsego) 269.694.6970

Gilly’s

220 Water St.

269.978.8451

45 S. Division

19683 Main St.

616.776.1195

Coral Gables/ Corner Bar

230 N. Rose St. 8124 Fulton St. E (Ada) 269.373.7990

Republic

269.385.9359

616.551.3563

235 Grandville Ave.

(New Buffalo) 269.469.5800

Lemonjello’s Coffee

616.363.8380

Rockwell’s Fenian’s Irish Pub 45 S. Division SE

Founders

136 N. Whittaker St.

Stage Coach Bar (Saugatuck)

310 E. Michigan Ave. Waterfront 315 Columbia Ave. 269.389.9349

Louie’s Trophy House

Casey’s

269.375.1930

1535 Plainfield NE

616.356.2000

616.454.7852

(Fennville) 269.561.5889

231.755.1555

(Saugatuck) 269.857.2888

1601 Beach St. (Muskegon)

(Muskegon)

1511 N. Wilson Rd. (Silver Lake) 231.873.4901

West Side Inn 1635 Beidler St. (Muskegon)

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EVENT GUIDE

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 1

Funktion Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Otis Blueswell Jr. Billy’s Lounge Drop 35 Bobarino’s Tetrad Chicago Pub & Grill Reggae Night featuring The Ark Band Czars A Streetcar Named Desire DeVos Performance Hall Dress Your Wives in Floor Length Denim Dog Story Theater Johnny Beehner Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Lindsay Lou and the Flatbellys Melody Walker and Jacob Groopman Foundry Hall Gypsy Fire Frauenthal Center Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Día de los Muertos/Day of the Dead GR Public Library Slick Willys Grand Woods Lounge Cyril Lixenberg: An Artist’s Journey GVSU Art Gallery Montage Gun Lake Casino 7th Annual Harvest of Souls The Intersection Rock Shop Kirby House Deep Waters, Tim Tapper Louie’s Trophy House Grill Chris Corey, Monica Da Silva Mangiamo! I Believe In Julio, Yum Mulligan’s Pub Silver Brill Old Dog Tavern Grand Rapids Ballet Presents Dracula Peter Martin Wege Theatre It Lies Within Planet Rock The Ragbirds, Tony LaJoye Trio The Pyramid Scheme Full Kontakt Karaoke Quaker Steak & Lube Litt Up, OTC River City Saloon Point Counterpoint: Cyril Lixenberg Screen Prints Saugatuck Center for the Arts Matt Turk Schuler Books 28th Street Ken Yates, Brian Dunne Seven Steps Up Country Night featuring Megan Rae Shakespeare’s Lower Level Peter Karp & Sue Foley Tip Top Deluxe Mosaic Film Fest Wealthy Theatre

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

War of the Worlds, 6:30, 8 p.m.

Acorn Theater Super Happy Funtime Burlesque Show Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Danger Damsels BurlesqueHalloween Hootenanny featuring Cash O’Riley Billy’s Lounge Drop 35 Bobarino’s Tetrad Chicago Pub & Grill Aidan O’Toole The Curragh Kris Hitchcock & Small Town Son Czars BaCon DeltaPlex Arena A Streetcar Named Desire DeVos Performance Hall Dress Your Wives in Floor Length Denim Dog Story Theater Johnny Beehner Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre

Mark Lavengood’s Bluegrass Bonanza Founders Brewing Co. Gypsy Fire Frauenthal Center Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Día de los Muertos/Day of the Dead GR Public Library HiFi Superstar Gun Lake Casino The River City Road Show Howmet Playhouse Mega ‘80s The Intersection Rock Shop Kirby House Bradley Hathaway, Great Estates, Nick Wronski and Zach M. Harper Lemonjello’s Coffee The Hemmingers, Johnny Ill Band, Everyone and their Empty Cups Louie’s Trophy House Grill Monica Da Silva Mangiamo! The Waxines, The Boss Mustangs, Apostles Mulligan’s Pub Duffield Caron Project, 5-8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Grand Rapids Ballet Presents Dracula Peter Martin Wege Theatre Bennett, Jeff Pianki, Daniel The Lion The Pyramid Scheme Langhorne Slim & the Law Shakespeare’s Lower Level TNA Impact Wrestling Soaring Eagle Casino Bethesda, glowfriends Tip Top Deluxe After Tiller, C.O.G., Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA


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EVENT GUIDE detta, 8 p.m. Wealthy Theatre

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 6

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3

All Stouts Day Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Revival ‘80s Night Billy’s Lounge Thrift Store Trivia with Drew Behringer Bobarino’s Dress Your Wives in Floor Length Denim Dog Story Theater Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Grand Rapids Jazz Orchestra, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Founders Brewing Co. Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Día de los Muertos/Day of the Dead GR Public Library Harvest Festival 2013 New Holland Brewing Company Seventh SonBlues Jam, 6-9 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Church of Misery, Bloody Hammers, Against The Grain Pyramid Scheme OTC River City Saloon Opera in Cinema: Nabucco Riviera Theatre Muteflutes Salt of the Earth Breathe Owl Breathe, Lasso Shakespeare’s Lower Level C.O.G., Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 4

BassBin Billy’s Lounge In the Mood DeVos Performance

Hall tunebugs Foundry Hall Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Point Counterpoint: Cyril Lixenberg Screen Prints Saugatuck Center for the Arts Todd Carey and Curtis Peoples, Dan Godlin Seven Steps Up Tom Brosseau, Andru Bemis Tip Top Deluxe

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 5

Open Mic, 7-11 p.m. Acorn Theater The Burton W3 Party The B.O.B. Mary Rademacher Bar Divani The Line Up Billy’s Lounge The Juried Exhibition of Master of Fine Arts from Kendall College of Art and Design DeVos Performance Hall Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Dueling Pianos, 8 p.m. Gun Lake Casino Comedy Open Mic Louie’s Trophy House Grill Tom Duffield on the Piano, 5-7 p.m.; Open Mic Night with Branden Mann, 8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern OTC River City Saloon Point Counterpoint: Cyril Lixenberg Screen Prints Saugatuck Center for the Arts C.O.G., Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA Meanwhile Film Series: V for Ven-

Campus Karaoke Billy’s Lounge Ghost Brothers of Darkland County DeVos Performance Hall Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Ronnie Torres Band GunLake Casino Open Mic Night Lemonjello’s Music Open Mic Louie’s Trophy House Grill Patricia Pettinga, 5-8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Team Trivia Night Quaker Steak & Lube Point Counterpoint: Cyril Lixenberg Screen Prints Saugatuck Center for the Arts Heather Maloney, Darlingside Tip Top Deluxe C.O.G., Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA Mars Hill Movie: The Fantastic Mr. Fox Wealthy Theatre


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EVENT GUIDE

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7

Jimkata wsg Weazildust Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Holla Back 90s Billy’s Lounge Karisa Wilson Bobarino’s Karaoke Night Czars Shadows at the Sanford Dog Story Theater Ryan Hamilton Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Earthwork Music Collective Tour with Seth & May, Lindsay Lou & the Flatbellys Founders Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Oregon Dreamchild GunLake Casino Huey Mack: The Pretending Perfection Tour, WLAV Presents Steve Vai The Intersection Wine Down Wednesday Kirby House Me and My Shadow Kzoo Civic Theatre Meet the Author: Ally Condie Kzoo Public Library Motor City Kam, Cam Nash, Jon Harv, Johnny!, Jhey Woah, G.

Crane Louie’s Trophy House Grill Teresa Irish Loutit District Library A Spirited Dinner w/Chef Eric and Mixologist Angie Jackson, 6 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Mutrix, Steve Swift The Pyramid Scheme SIN Industry Night Quaker Steak & Lube OTC River City Saloon Point Counterpoint: Cyril Lixenberg Screen Prints Saugatuck Center for the Arts Nancy Steltman with Laura Armenta Schuler Books 28th Street Comedy Open Mic Shakespeare’s Lower Level Fresh Folk Series Presents Rachael and Dominic Davis with Troll for Trout St. Cecilia Music Center C.O.G., Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 8

Storytellings and Dance Party, 8:30 p.m. Acorn Theater Kelly Richey The 411 Club Enter the Haggis Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Funkle Jesse Billy’s Lounge Who Hit John Blackhawk Bar and

Grill Classic Fix Bobarino’s Guinness Brothers Chicago Pub & Grill Grand Rapids Symphony Pops: Pixar in Concert DeVos Performance Hall Ryan Hamilton Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Kari Lynch Band Grand Woods Lounge The Rock Show Gun Lake Casino David Nail, Dieselboy The Intersection Songs from the Silver Screen Kzoo Civic Theatre Australia’s Thunder from Down Under Kzoo State Theatre Battle Creek Women’s Expo Kel-

logg Arena Annual Fall Gala LaFontsee Galleries Chris Corey Mangiamo! The Waxies Mulligan’s Pub Dragon Wagon Old Dog Tavern Full Kontakt Karaoke Quaker Steak & Lube Tricks River City Saloon Living Colour, Equal Parts The Pyramid Scheme DJ Colin Clive Rocky’s Uppercut Point Counterpoint: Cyril Lixenberg Screen Prints Saugatuck Center for the Arts LVNMUZIQ Schuler Books 28th Street Shakespearean Fall Festival featuring That Freak Quincy, Fried Egg Nebula, Electric Jug Band, Dezi Taylor Shakespeare’s Lower Level The Ben Daniels Band, Big Dudee


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EVENT GUIDE Roo, The Carboys Tip Top Deluxe A Touch of Sin, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA Sesame Street Live ‘Make a New Friend’ VanAndel Arena

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Barstool Philosophe and Roxy Bellows, 8 p.m. Acorn Theater Corn Fed Girls Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Dragon Wagon, Northern Skies Billy’s Lounge Classic Fix Bobarino’s Guinness Brothers Chicago Pub & Grill Grand Rapids Symphony Pops: Pixar in Concert DeVos Performance Hall Ryan Hamilton Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Fauxgrass, The Northern Skies; 2013 Breakfast Stout Breakfast Founders Brewing Co. Concert with Friends 5 Frauenthal Center Uncommon Road CD Release Show Griswold Auditorium The Rock Show Gun Lake Casino Devil Wears Prada; Grieves wsg Sweatshop Union Rick Chyme and James Gardin The Intersection Songs from the Silver Screen Kzoo Civic Theatre

Johnny Lang Kzoo State Theatre Battle Creek Women’s Expo Kellogg Arena Thunder From Down Under Little River Casino The World War I’s, The Vollies, TTom Louie’s Trophy House Grill Monica Da Silva Mangiamo! Flood the Desert, Bury The Silence, Silent Lapse Mulligan’s Pub Duffield Caron Project Old Dog Tavern Lies Between, Super BOB Planet Rock Maybe Next Time , The Better Fight, Way To Fall, Paper Brigade The Pyramid Scheme PotatoeBabies, Circus Pig, DangerVillle, After Graduation Quinn & Tuite’s OTC River City Saloon Scott Pellegrom Trio, SP-3, Nashon Shakespeare’s Lower Level Eddie Spaghetti Tip Top Deluxe Bar & Grill A Touch of Sin, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA Sesame Street Live ‘Make a New Friend’ VanAndel Arena Pop Scholars, GRFAS presents Drive South Wealthy Theatre

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10

Casey Abrams, 8 p.m. Acorn The-

ater Revival ‘80s Night Billy’s Lounge Thrift Store Trivia with Drew Behringer Bobarino’s Gabriel Iglesias ‘Stand-Up Revolution’; Grand Rapids Symphony Pops: Pixar in Concert DeVos Performance Hall Collected StoriesFarmers Alley Theatre The Crane Wives Founders Brewing Co. Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens GWAR wsg Whitechapel Iron Regan and Band of Orcs The Intersection Songs from the Silver Screen Kzoo Civic Theatre Paul Vondiziano Loutit District Library Fusion Shows presents Mike Mains & the Branches, The Dockside Fever, West and Run The Pyramid Scheme Wisaal Salt of the Earth Ellis Paul Seven Steps Up A Touch of Sin, After Tiller, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA Sesame Street Live ‘Make a New Friend’ VanAndel Arena

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11

Square Dance Kalamazoo Bell’s Eccentric Cafe BassBin Billy’s Lounge tunebugs Foundry Hall Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens OTC River City Saloon Guilty Pleasures Open Vinyl Tip Top Deluxe

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12

Open Mic, 7-11 p.m. Acorn Theater Sylvia Taylor Bar Divani The Line Up Billy’s Lounge Broadway Grand Rapids Presents West Side Story DeVos Performance Hall Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Kris Hitchcock Gun Lake Casino Tom Duffield on the Piano, 5-7 p.m.; Open Mic Night with Branden Mann, 8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Pop Evil wsg The Letter Black Eve to Adam & Black Oxygen Planet Rock A Touch of Sin, After Tiller, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA Lady Antebellum Van Andel Arena Meanwhile Film Series: The Neverending Story Wealthy Theatre

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13

Ben Sollee, 7 p.m. Acorn Theater Campus Karaoke Billy’s Lounge Broadway Grand Rapids Presents West Side Story DeVos Performance Hall GRCC Diversity Lecture (John Elder Robison) ‘Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s’ Fountain Street Church Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Typo Gun Lake Casino Music Open Mic Louie’s Trophy House Grill Alison Wonderland & David Llyod, 5-8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Asking Alexandria, Sevendust, All That Remains, For Today, Emmure The Orbit Room


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EVENT GUIDE

zarre Bazaar Bell’s Eccentric Café Battle of the Bands Billy’s Lounge Oregon Dreamchild Bobarino’s Tetrad Chicago Pub & Grill Ian Gould The Curragh Brian Aldridge Dr. Grins Flesh Hops Founders Brewing Co. The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre Risque Gun Lake Casino Mega ‘80s The Intersection Peter Pan Kzoo Civic Theatre Midwest Indoor Racing Kellogg Arena Drop 35 Kirby House

J. Rob, Skinny Boy Louie’s Trophy House Grill Monica Da Silva Mangiamo! And Out Come the Wolves, Suffer Mulligan’s Pub Duffield Caron Project, 5-8 p.m.; Seventh Son Blues Band Old Dog Tavern Sarah Jean Anderson: After School Special The Pyramid Scheme Beyond Sight, Elephant Celebes Shakespeare’s Lower Level Drew Nelson and HWY-2 Tip Top Deluxe


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EVENT GUIDE Team Trivia Night Quaker Steak & Lube OTC River City Saloon Kristina Riggle Schuler Books 28th Street A Touch of Sin, After Tiller, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14

Rich Burkholder Bobarino’s Broadway Grand Rapids Presents West Side Story DeVos Performance Hall Dave Koechner Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Mutts, The Tosspints, Dustbowl Revival Founders Brewing Co. Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Bullwhip Gun Lake Casino Monster Magnet wsg Royal Thunder Zodiac & Tru Burn; The Company We Keep wsg Child Bite Bowery (CD release) & Between Brains The Intersection Visiting Writer Series with Patricia Smith Knickerbocker Theatre Pink Lightning, Silent Lions, Filmloom Louie’s Trophy House Grill Ragtime Miller Auditorium Moss Folk, The Bermudas, Zen Star Beat Cult Mulligan’s Pub Brothers Kalamazov, 8:30 p.m. Old Dog Tavern SIN Industry Night Quaker Steak &

Lube Real to Reel: Blood Brother Saugatuck Center for the Arts Comedy Open Mic Shakespeare’s Lower Level Barrence Whitfield and the Savages and The Boss Mustangs! Tip Top Deluxe A Touch of Sin, After Tiller, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas UICA

Old World New Wellspring Theatre

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15

Paul Cebar Tomorrow Sound, 8:30 p.m. Acorn Theater Mane Event The B.O.B Fauxgrass Wisaal & Karma Bellydance Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Funktion Billy’s Lounge

Three’s A Crowd Bobarino’s In The Chamber Chicago Pub & Grill West Side Story DeVos Performance Hall Dave Koechner Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre CP2 Gun Lake Casino 40 Below Summer wsg Straight Line Stitch Dead Against Know Lyfe Withhold The Blood Martyr For Madison The Intersection Songs from the Silver Screen Kzoo Civic Theatre Vanquish, Ghost Veins, Dread Return, Violent Vessel Louie’s Trophy House Grill Chris Corey Mangiamo! The Howlers, Helical Scan, Soundmeetsound Mulligan’s Pub Hired Hands, 5-8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern The Magic Men Male Revue Show Planet Rock Carielle (album release), Filmloom, Wayne Szalinski, Jake Kalmink, The Further Closer The Pyramid Scheme Full Kontakt Karaoke Quaker Steak & Lube OTC River City Saloon DJ Colin Clive Rocky’s Uppercut John Douglas Schuler Books 28th Street Truth Tone Records & Soul Artistry present R&B showcase featuring Yolanda Lavender, Allison Chandler, Nashon Halloway, Catrina


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EVENT GUIDE Brooks, Denise Whillhite Shakespeare’s Lower Level Classical Coffee Concert St. Cecilia Music Center Take Hold Fest Take Hold Church Hank Mowery & the Hawktones Tip Top Deluxe A Touch of Sin, After Tiller, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA Old World New Wellspring Theatre

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16

Corky Siegel & the Chamber Blues, 8 p.m. Acorn Theater Mustard Plug wsg Mushmen Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Hip Pocket Billy’s Lounge In The Chamber Chicago Pub & Grill West Side Story DeVos Performance Hall Dave Koechner Dr. Grins Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Daruis Rucker, 8 p.m. Firekeepers Casino Oracle: 20th Anniversary, Devin & the Dead Frets Founders Brewing Co. Crossing Boundaries: Seeing the World Through Music Fountain Street Church Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre CP2 Gun Lake Casino The MSU Accafellas Howmet Playhouse Cosby Sweater, Ultraviolet Hippopotamus wsg Afro Zuma and Genetics The Intersection Three’s A Crowd Kirby House Songs from the Silver Screen Kzoo Civic Theatre The Crane Wives with Slim Gypsy Baggage The Livery Batcave, The Counter Elites, Inflatable Best Friend, M. Sord Louie’s

Trophy House Grill Monica Da Silva Mangiamo! Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody Miller Auditorium Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas, Lake Timber Mulligan’s Pub Duffield Caron Project, 5-8 p.m.; The Love Hate, Captain Ivory Old Dog Tavern Stepdad with Flint Eastwood and Valentiger The Pyramid Scheme Dana Cooper Seven Steps Up Layer Cake presents Astonomar, My Boy Elroy Shakespeare’s Lower Level Hunks The Show Soaring Eagle Casino Take Hold Fest Take Hold Church

Paul Cebar Tomorrow Sound Tip Top Deluxe A Touch of Sin, After Tiller, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA Old World New Wellspring Theatre

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 17

Revival ‘80s Night Billy’s Lounge Thrift Store Trivia with Drew Behringer Bobarino’s Side Story DeVos Performance Hall Collected Stories Farmers Alley Theatre Cymbals Eat Guitars, Stagnant Pools Founders Brewery Co. Crossing Boundaries: Seeing the World Through Music Fountain Street Church Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre Ear Candy Gun Lake Casino Trapt The Intersection Three’s A Crowd Kirby House Buddy Valastro: The Cake Boss Kzoo State Theatre Slim Gypsy Baggage Salt of the Earth A Touch of Sin, Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA

Old World New Wellspring Theatre

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 18

BassBin Billy’s Lounge Edye Evans Hyde with The Terry Lower Ensemble Bobarino’s Shad Covenant Fine Arts Center tunebugs Foundry Hall Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Little Big League, Cain Marko, Odd Dates Mulligan’s Pub K.L.O.B. Old Dog Tavern Laura Stevenson, Fiona Dickson, Mat Churchill The Pyramid Scheme Guilty Pleasures Open Vinyl Tip Top Deluxe

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 19

Open Mic, 7-11 p.m. Acorn Theater Kathy Lamar Bar Divani The Line Up Billy’s Lounge Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Fredrick Meijer Gardens Kari Lynch Gun Lake Casino Comedy Open Mic Louie’s Trophy House Grill Tom Duffield on the Piano, 5-7 p.m.; Open Mic Night with Branden Mann, 8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern


recoilmag.com EVENT GUIDE cas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA Meanwhile Film Series: Labyrinth Wealthy Theatre

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 20

The Michigan Beer Film Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Campus Karaoke Billy’s Lounge Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre Coldville Gun Lake Casino Parachute and Plain White T’s wsg Tommy and the High Pilots The Intersection Music Open Mic Louie’s Trophy House Grill Swearin’, Low Cloud, Away Game Mulligan’s Pub Steven Lee Pesch, 5-8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage, Testament, Huntress The Orbit Room Sean Peay Benefit Show The Pyramid Scheme Team Trivia Night Quaker Steak & Lube A Touch of Sin, Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Ameri-

volume 13 issue 11 november

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cas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21

Steel City Rovers, 7:30 p.m. Acorn Theater Hey Mavis Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Jake Stevens Bobarino’s Karaoke Night Czars International Wine Beer & Food Festival DeVos Place Adam Cayton-Holland Dr. Grins Dangermuffin, Big Daddy Love Founders Brewing Co. Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre Great Scott Gun Lake Casino Sweet J Band Kirby House Plaintains Mulligan’s Pub MiCATS Euchre Tournament, 6:30 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Kill Devil Hill wsg Eyes Set to Kill & Girl on Fire Planet Rock Joe Hertler and the Rainbow Seekers with Good Day Good Sir, Jake Down and the Midwest Mess The Pyramid Scheme SIN Industry Night Quaker Steak & Lube GRAAA Presents David DeBruyn

Schuler Books 28th Street Comedy Open Mic Shakespeare’s Lower Level Heartfelt Declarations St. Cecilia Music Center A Touch of Sin, Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Caravan Of Thieves, Dustbowl Revival Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Quadraphonic Billy’s Lounge

Great Scott Bobarino’s Michatucky Chicago Pub & Grill The Moxie Strings The Curragh Rob Zombie and Korn DeltaPlex Arena Grand Rapids Symphony Classical: Mozart’s Requiem DeVos Performance Hall International Wine Beer & Food Festival DeVos Place Adam Cayton-Holland Dr. Grins The Brian Setzer Orchestra Four Winds Casino Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens


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volume 13 issue 11 november

recoilmag.com

EVENT GUIDE The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre BBI Gun Lake Casino The Crane Wives Howmet Playhouse Minnesota wsg Regulators and Biff Tannen The Intersection Warren Miller’s ‘Ticket to Ride’ Kzoo State Theatre Singer Songwriter Night, Dave Johnson, Chris Schleuder, Noah Nigg, Jake Nivala Louie’s Trophy House Grill Chris Corey Mangiamo! King Crabapple, Life Size Ghost Mulligan’s Pub Chuck Whiting & the Birthday Boys, Down Dog Down, The Real Fantastics Old Dog Tavern Grand Rapids Soul Club The Pyramid Scheme Full Kontakt Karaoke Quaker Steak & Lube 4U2NV River City Saloon DJ Colin Clive Rocky’s Uppercut Ritts, Snow Tha Product, Jarren Benton Shakespeare’s Lower Level Sadie Hawkins Dance Tip Top Deluxe Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23

Katie Todd Band, 8 p.m. Acorn Theater Digital Tape Machine, Cosby Sweater Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Great Scott Bobarino’s Michatucky Chicago Pub & Grill Shipshewana on the Road DeltaPlex Arena Grand Rapids Symphony Classical: Mozart’s Requiem DeVos Performance Hall International Wine Beer & Food Festival DeVos Place Aria Flame Dog Story Theater Ralston Bowles Dogwood Center

Adam Cayton-Holland Dr. Grins Evergreen Grass Band Founders Brewing Co. Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre BBI Gun Lake Casino Caravan of Thieves, Dustbowl Revival; Wayland wsg Royal Bliss Devin & The Dead Frets Hurry Home Bled Life The Intersection Cold Cash Machine Kirby House Warren Miller’s ‘Ticket to Ride’ Kzoo State Theatre Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band Little River Casino The Smoking Flowers The Livery Louie’s First Ever Drag Show Louie’s Trophy House Grill Monica Da Silva Mangiamo! The Sound Logic, Ronnie Tibbs & the 305’s Mulligan’s Pub Duffield Caron Project, 5-8 p.m.; WMU Graphic Design Fundraiser featuring Miles High, The Honey Pot Old Dog Tavern Through the Ashes Planet Rock Sean Peay Family Benefit Show Pyramid Scheme Crazy ‘80s Party featuring Star Farm Shakespeare’s Lower Level Rodney & the Regulars Tip Top Deluxe

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 24

Revival ‘80s Night Billy’s Lounge Thrift Store Trivia with Drew Behringer Bobarino’s Stolen Horses Band Driftwood Bar & Grill Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre Warren Miller’s ‘Ticket to Ride’ Kalamazoo State Theatre

Decades Kirby House Hey Mavis Salt of the Earth Shawn Mullins Seven Steps Up Original Jimmie Stagger Band Reunion Tip Top Deluxe Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 25

BassBin Billy’s Lounge tunebugs Foundry Hall Bernar Venet at Meijer Gardens, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Frederik Meijer Gardens Jake Miller, Action Item & Air Dubai The Intersection Guilty Pleasures Open Vinyl Tip Top Deluxe

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 26

Open Mic, 7-11 p.m. Acorn Theater Diana Vandewater Bar Divani The Line Up Billy’s Lounge Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass, Christmas and Holiday Traditions Around the World Frederik Meijer Gardens We Know Jackson Gun Lake Casino The Black Dahlia Murder wsg Skeletonwitch Fallujah & Wolvhammer The Intersection Tom Duffield on the Piano, 5-7 p.m.; Open Mic Night with Branden Mann, 8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern Megadeth, Fear Factory, Nonpoint The Orbit Room Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA Meanwhile Film Series: Jurrasic Park Wealthy Theatre

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 27

Campus Karaoke Billy’s Lounge Brena Bobarino’s Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass, Christmas and Holiday Traditions Around the World Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre Glamhammer Gun Lake Casino Music Open Mic Louie’s Trophy House Grill Alison Wonderland & David Llyod, 5-8 p.m. Old Dog Tavern The Night Before Turkey with Unhinged and Bad Tattoo Planet Rock Grandmaster Flash Pyramid Scheme Team Trivia Night Quaker Steak & Lube

Classic Fix River City Saloon Xtreme Karaoke, DJ FX Shakespeare’s Lower Level The Law, The Jetbeats, Sue Foley Tip Top Deluxe Perverts Guide to Ideology, Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA John Mayer Born and Raised Tour VanAndel Arena

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 28

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

The Sound of Music GR Civic Theatre It’s A Wonderful Life Master Arts Theatre Retro D’Luxe Thanksgiving The Pyramid Scheme

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 29

Magic Up Close!, 8 p.m. Acorn Theater Greensky Bluegrass Bell’s Eccentric Cafe Oregon Dreamchild Bobarino’s Tetrad Chicago Pub & Grill Straight No Chaser DeVos Performance Hall Brian Aldridge Dr. Grins Bernar Venet, Shattered: Contemporary Sculpture in Glass, Christmas and Holiday Traditions Around the World Frederik Meijer Gardens The Sound of Music GR Civc Theatre Risque Gun Lake Casino Kamilla, Johnny Logic Thunder Chicken The Dead Last The Storied Life Fred Thompson Trio The Intersection Peter Pan Kzoo Civic Theatre Chris Corey Mangiamo! Goddammit & How to Make Enemies and Irritate People Mulligan’s Pub Mittenauts Old Dog Tavern Back to the ‘90s Pajama Jammy Jam The Pyramid Scheme Full Kontakt Karaoke Quaker Steak & Lube DJ Colin Clive Rocky’s Uppercut The Last Laugh, Damon Williams & friends Shakespeare’s Lower Level Terry Fator Soaring Eagle Casino ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas St. Cecilia Music Center Whitey Morgan & the 78s, Ryan Dillaha, The Miracle Men Tip Top Deluxe Pulso: Arte de las Americas/Art of the Americas, Zero+ UICA

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 30

Bonnie Koloc, 8 p.m. Acorn Theater Greensky Bluegrass, Winter Bi-


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