Acclaimed Storyteller Coming Home Humorists...better make that Appalachian Humorist. His humorous and sometimes bittersweet stories of cousins, friends and characters are a familiar taste of Americana. He reminds all of us of those things that make us great. His stories hit home and hit a warm place in every heart.
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He will make you want to ease on up to the porch, grab a chair and sit a spell as you listen. His deep and mellow voice will weave a spell as you find yourself leaning forward in your seat. He promises not to split any sides, but folks have been known to howl with laughter.
world.
Along the way, he earned a Hollen grew up in the hills of Eastern Communications Degree in Oral Interpretation. His Daddy’s hard Kentucky where he honed his southern humor and learned the fine earned money taught him to “tell stories and talk in front of folks”. His Yes, some of his characters are about art of storytelling as he sat on the a half bubble off plumb; their front porch and listened to folks tell Daddy really didn’t think folks had a elevator doesn’t go all the way to the need to go to college for that. tall tales, Jack tales and just plain top floor. You will think you gossip about the neighbors. Hollen is considered by many to be recognize folks you know as he one of the premiere Southern
Foot Washin' When I was a teenager I went to high school over to Oneida Baptist Institute in Clay County, Kentucky. It was what folks down in the mountains of Kentucky call a settlement school. It was founded by James Anderson Burns to educate the youngin's of the mountains of eastern Kentucky, and through education bring an end to the feuds that were so common in the late 1800s.
Pop Holderman was enjoyin' talkin' about them washin' our feet. He had a dry sense of humor and loved to pick an' tease. I weren't enjoyin' it one bit. You see, I had a pair of socks on with a big ol' hole in the sole of my left sock. I'm talkin' huge; coverin', or uncoverin' most of the ball of my foot. What teenage boy would worry about a hole where no one would see it?
But we was goin' to a Foot Washin' Baptist Church. Pop said they liked to I was a tall, skinny kid back then with a show their humility and especially honor guests by washin' their feet. An' I pretty decent bass singin' voice (and had a HOLE in my sock. could read music). Somewhere along the way my roommate Bob Clark, Tim It felt like a hidden sin to me as I sat Searcy and I started singin' ol' Southern there in the darkness an' rode over that Gospel songs. There weren't much else windin' road to our final destination. I to do there! Bob sang lead and Tim had would be discovered, revealed for all a wonderful tenor voice. We never the world... or at least that church to found anyone that could sing baritone see. to round us out to a quartet, so we had In my mind's eye I could see it; some us a Gospel Trio! ol' country feller would rip off my shoe, Nope, never did have an official name spy the huge hole, yank off my sock an' for the group, though Bob suggested we hold it up to the congregation. He be called "The Seldom Fed Few". We would use my sock as an object lesson was teenage boys, you know. about hidin' sin in our lives. We recruited Barb Davenport to play "But be sure your sins will find you piano and started singin' at our little ol' out." Or "There is nothin' hidden that Oneida Baptist Church. Ever' now and will not be revealed." again Tim would whip out his ukelele I was a mess. We had very hip stripey and sing a solo or plunk along to our harmonizin'. We weren't too bad. Dogs britches and matchin' long sleeve blue didn't howl and folks didn't cover their shirts, white ties an' white patent leather shoes as our coordinated outfits. We ears or throw hymnals at us. looked good, but I was pretty near to Invitations came and our Principal Har- makin' sweaty patches under the arms old "Pop" Holderman would drive us to of my coordinated shirt. the churches we were to sing at. Shucks, we even sang for a funeral over What would I do? Maybe I could fall ill just before we arrived an' sit in the car, in London, Kentucky. leavin' Bob an' Tim to do a duet. Maybe Pop Holderman took us to a church I could slip as I was goin' up the stairs, some distance away from school to sing twist my ankle an' pull off the sock to at a Sunday night service. On the way, see the extent of the damage an' then he told us the church was a "Hard Shell hide the sock in my pocket... then Baptist Church" and they practiced foot bravely limp barefoot to the front, held washin'. up by Bob an' Tim to sing! Now, that was a scenario. Now, we sung at a Holiness Church once an' they didn't drag the snakes out. When we arrived I saw there was only We sung at a funeral an' even was paid! one step. As we walked in several kind A Foot Washin' Baptist an' gracious brothers took our hands, Church shouldn't be any big wrapped their arms around our shouldeal. ders an' told us how grateful they was that we was goin' to sing for them. I
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reckon I weren't goin' to be able to trip an' fall.
speaks. We all have characters in our lives, but as anyone from down home knows, as long as you say “God love them” or “Bless their heart”, you can say most anything you want about folks. Hollen’s storytelling blog, www.mountainstories.net, enjoys huge popularity. Thousands of readers stop by monthly to read the humorous stories, bittersweet memories and wonderful word pictures. Hollen is also a Mark Twain impersonator. Pull up a chair on April 7 at 6 pm at the Clay County Public Library to listen to this talented author and poet. Clay County Public Library is located at 211 Bridge Street in Downtown Manchester. Hollen will also perform at the Salt Works Arts and Crafts Festival in Manchester on May 24, and Southeastern Sundays in Manchester on May 25. Visit ClayCountyKentucky.org for details.
told us we needed to go back to experience a good ol' foot washin'. He even mused on the idea of gettin' us back inWe sat on the second row. The first row to a Holiness Church an' tellin' the Pasin a Baptist Church is always reserved tor we wanted to experience a snake for folks who come forward to make handlin'. Bob an' I was all for the snake decisions. handlin', but Tim weren't to enthusiastic Over to the right was a small table with about it. a lovely pitcher an' big ol' matchin' Pop dropped us off at our dorm an' we bowl. Below was a shelf with several went to our rooms. Tim's was just small towels folded neatly. I trembled around the corner from ours. When we like a lost soul on Judgement Day when settled on our beds an' was talkin' about I saw that basin. I just knew what was the evenin', Tim came in, shut the door comin'. an' told us he wanted to show us someThe Pastor welcomed everyone, made thin'. several introductions an' turned the serTim sat down, pulled the white patent vice over to us. I swallowed my fear, leather shoe off his right foot to expose glad that we would sing before the big a sock with his whole big toe stickin' "hole in the sock" reveal. through a hole! Without sayin' a word, We did great! Barb rocked that ol' pia- Bob shucked off his shoes to show a no an' we sang with the sweetest harhole in the heel of his left an' a middle mony. I hit those wonderful low bass toe peekin' out a small hole in the right notes, "Now let us have a little talk with sock. Jesus, let us tell Him about our trouI started laughin', yanked off my left bles. He will hear us when we cry, He shoe to expose my sock. The hole will heal us by an' by". It was a song which had grown gigantic by this time that featured the bass singer. and left little of my foot covered. I then Bob an' Tim hit each note perfectly, showed them my sweaty rings on my Tim's tenor risin' to the highest notes I color coordinated blue shirt and they ever heard him sing. We sang "Jesus is both lifted their arms to reveal coordicomin' soon", "How beautiful Heaven nated sweat rings under their arms. must be" and sang "Holy, Holy, Holy" We laughed an' howled as we each a capella! Whooeee, we was on fire! shared the fears and trepidation we had For a moment I forgot that dreadful on the ride to that church. We kept it up sock. I was caught up in the sweet har- till "lights out" when Tim had to go mony of three best friends doin' some- back to his room. thing they loved, somethin' they was In the dark Bob and I lay on opposite called to do. sides of the room, whisperin' to each When we sat down a couple fellers be- other an' laughin' into our pillows about hind us patted us on the back, reached the socks. "We was a HOLEY trio toover an' shook our hands an' made me night", Bob said as we giggled into our feel great. It weren't to last, however. I blankets. quickly remembered the hole in my left We all made out way to Pop Holdersock. man's office the next day to tell him The Preacher got up, thanked us an' about our socks. He laughed with us proceeded to preach a great sermon. He and then made our day. never even glanced at that pitcher an' He looked real serious at us and said, basin. Each moment brought me closer "Boys, when I got home an' was unto relief, but I didn't relax till the final dressin', Mrs. Holderman picked up my invitation, closin' prayer an' the many socks an' said she was goin' to throw handshakes as we left out of there. them out. The right one had a hole in We enjoyed the ride back to campus, it!" even as Pop Holderman ribbed us an' Stephen Hollen