Issue 1 Nov 2011
Care Leavers Association
AARREE C C G N G I N V I LLEEAAV SELLVVEESS O T O T E D E I D SE GGUUI EEM M H S ’ T H S N ’ T E O N R E S O TION HHEER EERRS A T I P T C N P G E O N N G E S E U N ’’VVEE BBE EAVERS AS AA YYOOU LE W O H O H W PPLE EL O R E O A P E C P Y EENN BBY T T T I T R I R W W
Hi Everyone, We are the Care Leavers Association team who have been doing lots of great things since leaving care and we feel that we have managed to make our lives successful. We have put together this guide so you can also succeed in life and accomplish great things. Hope you find it useful and look out for our next issue soon. Leaving Care Guide Team
Care Leavers Association is a registered charity (1111988) and limited company (5204243)
Contents • 16-18 years old: Leaving Care Rights and Entitlements • 18-25 years old: Leaving Care Rights and Entitlements • Taking Responsibility for Yourself- top tips and practical support with planning your future • It’s all about YOU! Top tips and stories about finding yourself • “You are not alone- get involved! Take up volunteering” • “Save your money!!!” some useful links to help you manage your money • “Try not to stress out!!” • Making a success out our lives • Next issue and Being a Care Leaver
16-18 years olds? Q: Been in care for 13 weeks or more and on your 16th Birthday? A: Yes to both (go to the next question) A: No; you may qualify for ‘advice and assistance’ from your local authority. You can contact Voice (www.voiceyp.org Tel: 0808 800 5792) for more information on your entitlements
Q: Are you still in care or have you left care? A: If you are still in care you are classed as ‘Eligible’; you will be entitled to have your care plan maintained, have regular reviews and an independent reviewing officer. A: In addition you will be entitled to everything that a ‘Relevant’ young person is entitled to (see below) A: If you have already left care you are classed as ‘Relevant’ so you will be entitled to: • An assessment of your needs before you leave care to ensure that you leave care at a time that is right for you and you have enough information and support about what you will be getting
REMEMBER: You don’t have to leave care until you are 18 years old, unless you agree that you are ready to leave before!!! • You should be given information about your options if things don’t work out for the best • A Pathway Plan should start sometime after your 15th Birthday. This is a very important document as it should make clear what help you will be getting in preparing to leave care and what support you will get after you leave. This is to tell you how the local authority will support you practically and financially with gs that you want in your life. things
Your Pathway Plan will include: • Goals you have in education, training and employment (this is a chance for you to talk about your career aspirations!!!) • Access to positive leisure activities • Finding a place to live and gaining skills for independence
Your rights •
You are entitled to your own Personal Adviser who should keep in touch with you, make sure that you are alright and help you to get what you need. To do this they must make sure that your Pathway Plan is reviewed and kept up to date.
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If you decide to leave care before turning 18, your local authority must make sure that you have somewhere ‘suitable to live’.
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Until you are 18, your local authority must arrange for your financial support to help you pay for things you need to live on. This must not be any less than if you were claiming benefits.
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Your Personal Adviser should help you keep contact with relatives and friends that you have met whilst in care. If you would like more information about finding friends that you met whilst in care why not visit; www.careleaversreunited.com
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You have the right to be involved in all major decisions, including when you leave care, where you go to live and what support you will receive
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You have the right to have a say if you are not happy about something. You can see your Children’s Rights Officer and you also have the right to an independent advocate who can help you to resolve your situation (for more info cointact Voice www.voiceyp.org). If you are still unhappy you could try contacting the Childrens’ Legal Centre www.childrenslegalcentre.com
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The law says that you have a right to see written information about you. This includes social services and medical records. If you would like help to access these records ask your personal adviser or contact the Care Leavers Association www.careleavers.com
REMEMBER!! • You have a right to be told and given vices information telling you about all the services that you are entitled to use once you leave care and any extra support that is available (for example, you should be financially shed supported in college until the course is finished (past 18 years until 21), the support youu will get should be stated in your pathway plan)
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18-25 years old? Q: Been in care for 13 weeks or more and on your 16th Birthday? A: Yes to both; you are classed as ‘Former Relevant’ (see below) A: No; you may qualify for ‘advice and assistance’ from your local authority. You can contact Voice (www.voiceyp.org Tel: 0808 800 5792) for more information on your entitlements. As a ‘former relevant care leaver’ you are entitled to a Pathway Plan based on an assessment of your needs. This is a very important document as it should make clear what help you will be getting in preparing to leave care and what support you will get after you leave. This is to tell you how the local authority will support you practically and financially with things that you want in your life: •
Goals you have in education, training and employment (this is a chance for you to talk about your career aspirations!!!)
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Access to positive leisure activities
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Finding a place to live and gaining skills for independence
• You are entitled to your own Personal Adviser who might be someone from the leaving care team or your current social worker. They should keep in touch with you, make sure that you are alright and help you in getting what you need. To do this they must make sure that your Pathway Plan is reviewed and kept up to date.
• YOU HA MAJOR DVE THE RIGHT TO YOU GO T ECISIONS, INCL BE INVOLVED IN UD O LIVE AN A D WHAT ING WHEN YOU LLL SUPPOR T YOU WI EAVE CARE, WHE LL RECEI RE VE
Your rights (continued...) • •
Your local authority must make sure that you have somewhere ‘suitable to live’. You will be classed as in ‘priority need’ with the council housing department until you are 21 years old if you want to access social housing. You should be supported financially to access housing and this should include support in raising a deposit for a private tenancy.
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Once you are 18 if you are not in employment or if you are in full-time education and have started your course (before your 19th birthday) then you can claim benefits.
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You should be entitled to continue financial help towards your training or education until you are at least 21 (or 25 if you need extra support) years old or until you have finished the course and this should be written in your pathway plan. You should make sure that all support promised is written clearly within your pathway plan.
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Your Personal Adviser should help you keep contact with relatives and friends that you have met whilst in care. If you would like more information about finding friends that you met whilst in care why not visit; www.careleaversreunited.com
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You have the right to have a say if you are not happy about something. You can see your Children’s Rights Officer and you also have the right to an independent advocate who can help you to resolve your situation. If you are still unhappy you could try contacting the Childrens’ Legal Centre www.childrenslegalcentre.com
•
The law says that you have a right to see information that written is about you. This includes social services and medical records. ds. If you would like help to access these records ask your personal adviser or contact tact the Care Leaverss Association Association www.careleavers.com
• You have a right to be told and given information telling you, about all the services that you are entitled to use once you leave care and any extra support that is available (for example, £2000 bursary for all care leavers classed as former relevant under 25 years who are in full-time higher education)
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DO YOU HAVE A PATHWAY PLAN? Y pathway plan is really important because it tells you what support you are Your ggoing to get from your leaving care team, including all financial support in place for yyou. Your local authority must give you a pathway plan and must follow it, it is like a ccontract to promise what support you will recieve.You need to make sure you include yyour goals and dreams in here to make sure you have everything you need for your jjourney to get there, things like: • • • •
Health and Healthy Living Practical and other skills necessary for independent living Accommodation Education and training
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TOP TIPS
‘STAND INDEPENDENT EVERMORE” A POEM BY JORDAN STEADMAN
My time has come to an end, at the Lynwood children’s home, Oh yes it will be missed with the passion to which we all fear, The time in the nest had suddenly come to our senses that time was up, The staff are proud that were getting towards standing on our own two feet, You assure the staff that we will someday meet, And when that day comes, we can tell of our great adventures, all the places and sights we have seen, It’s scary how much I’ve grown up I’m nearly eighteen. I’m moving on hopefully in to my own place, meeting new people of the exquisite human race, It’s sad to think of all the good times I’ve had at the place they called Lynwood kids home we bonded with the staff who was always there for us, for comfort or a talk even cheering us up, My tears will start to shed as I finally leave that door, To say goodbye to all that’s left, to embrace the future to stand independent evermore A new adventure starting, filled with sun, sea and sand, I’d wish you luck, As your horizons now expand, its time to say Adios, although I’d really rather say, Ver usted do Nuevo!! Cos we’ll meet again someday.
USEFUL LINKS Health and Healthy Living: • www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/ • www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/generalhealth/healthservices • www.teenagehealthfreak.org • www.bbc.co.uk/health/treatments/healthy_living/ Practical and other skills necessary for independent living • How to store food safely: www.nhs.uk/livewell/homehygiene/pages/how-to-store-food-safely.aspx • Freezer tips:www.lovefoodhatewaste.com/storage_and_tools/tips/freezer • Recipes:www.beyondbakedbeans.com • Healthy eating www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/Goodfood/Pages/Goodfoodhome.aspx see also www.thefruitpages.com • DIY tips : www.channel4.com/4homes/how-to/diy/ Accommodation: www.shelter.org.uk/knowyourrights also see www.centrepoint.org.uk
IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU! TOP TIPS… “Use any negative experience as a positive and use it to your advantage” “Don’t listen to negative comments about care leavers!”
Julie’s story I was 16 when I moved out of care and into my own flat. I left with no qualifications and no financial stability. When I moved out I was lucky enough to find a job, although at times it was a struggle. it wasn’t until I was at college that I realised how hard it was to live off a small amount of money. I was 18 when I realised that I wanted to really make something of myself. I decided to enrol at college. I loved college and it made me feel a part of something, but it definitely didn’t give me financial stability. It is hard at times not having money whilst trying to better your life, but you can get through the tough times! Overcoming day to day struggles, particularly with no money has helped me to get where I am today: at University - somewhere I never thought I would be. So many people told me I couldn’t do it. They’d say ‘it just wasn’t something that care leavers could do’! I now laugh at the things people said to me and whenever times get hard I use their words drive me on and it makes me more determined to succeed. Money isn’t everything. You need the people who support you around and to always remember you have so much to give! There were so many times when I felt like giving up and it all felt to much but I used the negatives in life to push me through and keep going.Getting qualifications was such a confidence boost for me and it made me feel like I could achieve anything I wanted to. I always remind myself that every time I have a new certificate or a new qualification that I am one step closer to getting to where I want to be. There is one quote that I always remember “some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen”. We have to be strong and we can do whatever we set our mind to!!
TOP TIPS… “Believe in yourself” “Keep going” “Difference is good – no such thing as normal” Anne Marie’s Story For me to be able to tell you what i think is best for every care leaver to know i have to tell what happened with me. When i was younger, like most people who went into care, i had a lot of ups and downs. I wouldn’t talk to anyone about any of my problems, if anyone tried to talk to me i thought they were interfering in things that was none of their business. however i was so wrong, this is what i believed until i became a care leaver and i then had to do it all myself. Me and my foster mum had always been close. She would help me with all sorts of things from friend’s issues all the way to exams. She never gave up until we both got whatever it was that we thought was best for me and when i left i thought that would all change as well, but it never. So here is my account of becoming independent as a care leaver, a guide to help all young people about to take the step towards independency. I was 17 and believed everyone was out to get me. I wasn’t the most behaved young person and i did a lot of things i shouldn’t have done, but despite what i did do my foster mum was always there for me. Yet when things got tough for me i would always take it out on her by staying out late , sneaking off, skipping college and i had my fair share of stealing too. These are the things i felt worked to get my own back. I eventually left college and couldn’t be bothered with work either. Then a night came when i had had enough (of what i thought was everyone ganging up on me). In the heat of an argument i told my mum i was leaving to never come back EVER. i had decided months before that i wanted to become independent and was going to do it the “right way”, but i had to be spiteful and just leave. I ended up in a hostel not talking to my foster mum properly not knowing when i was going to get my own place and at the time i DID think it was great. But shopping day came and rent day etc. and the buzz wore off and i missed being at home but i was determined not to go back to be told, “i told you so”. 6 months later i found out i was pregnant with my long term partner, not a place i particularly wanted to be. The dreaded call to my foster carer, actually was ok she reassured me and told she would help me with anything; our relationship was starting to show again. Another 2 months had passed and i had moved into Grangeway courts, me and my foster career still were not on a full and healthy track back to the way we were as i was still uncomfortable talking to her after what i had done to her. it had broken her heart when i left especially the terms it was on. However we were talking and she helped me with any problems i had. 3 months after me and my partner got offered a house. Things we looking up and we were made up. My mum didn’t find out until she came back from holiday and i was only round the corner. i was ecstatic. i felt me and my foster carers relationship could be where it was last time as we could see each other more. Then my son was born. The proudest day of my life. This was when me and my foster carer got back on track 100% as we had something in common to talk about again. She wasn’t the foster carer i would love to hate and i wasn’t the spoilt bratty teenager anymore. From there my son has grown up with a nana who dotes on him. i have gained a mum in my foster carer. She is my world and i couldn’t have done a lot of what i have done without her and she is my mum, the one who raised me and taught me and inspires me. through all this that had happened when i moved out i had been given a YPT PA (young people’s team, personal advisor), this person was a rock in my everyday life and without them i can officially say there are some days were i wouldn’t have been able to function, as just been able to talk to them gave the reassurance that i was doing ok and it didn’t matter. This service is one of the best that social services have going. My PA stayed the same until the end and she was more of a friend than anything. I could never do wrong in their eyes and for this i would like to thank my PA. (see Anne Maries Leaving Care Tips on the next page)
Anne- Marie’s Leaving Care Tips... 1. No matter what the problem is big, small, confusing or overly dramatic there is someone always there for you may it be your foster career, social services or other family members, but just talk. 2. Foster careers, no matter how mean they may seem, are not there to punish you all the time. They are trying to teach you the way of life so you’re prepared e.g. doing dishes and your room helps you keep your own house tidy when it comes to it. You’ll thank them in the long run. 3 It is ok to screw up in life. It is what comes next that makes the difference. If you can admit you did wrong and work to fix it then you will have no problems in life as people will respect you for it. People are not always going to say i told you so and this is the most important point i have to make. There is no “right way” of becoming independent, but there are better ways of doing it than i did; for example talk to your foster carer and social worker put your name on the housing lists and wait until you get your own flat through the housing as it makes so much difference in your relationships with family and also where your life seems to go. i Iave made a lot of mistakes in my life but i have worked hard to fix problems and mend relationships and I don’t regret anything i have done. I have a brilliant relationship with my mum (foster carer) I am now married to my son’s dad, with the help of my mum and i am soon to be back into work. So for me i have a lot going for me.
“SAVE YOUR MONEY!!!” BUDGETING TIPS • It’s important to try and get in the habit of saving up for your future. You never know what’s lurking around the corner. • There might be something you really want but can’t aff ord. Try not to get in to debt, losing out money to high interest means you will be out of pocket in the long-term... try and save up an aff ordable chunk everyweek instead . The websites below have some really useful advice and tools to help you manage your money and budget properly. • www.thesite.org/homelawandmoney/money/cashflow • www.moneybasics.co.uk/en/resources/budget_calculator.html
“You are not alone- get involved! Take up volunteering” Why volunteer? • People that get on board with voluntary work increase their employability skills, experience and confidence. • To help with your future career- Voluntary work gives people the opportunity to explore new and interesting opportunities, working with other care leavers, influencing policy and practice. This can be useful for people who may be wishing to develop skills . • Having some voluntary work experience is often necessary to get on to a university course and can provide practical experience to students during their studies. • A stepping stone to get back on track- Voluntary work can be a good way for people to get in the right mind-set and get into a structured routine after time out of college or work. It can provide structure to the day,enable you to refresh skills and also provides you with a reference You can fi nd out about volunteer opportunities across the country at the following link: www.do-it.org.uk
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Get involved in care leaver issues.
• Send us your stories , leaving care advice, or diary entries… Interested in contributing to our on-going Leaving Care Guide series? “Leaving Care? We’ve been there…” Tell other care leavers how you found the leaving care experience or pass on some top tips for gaining independence… ccontact Clare on clare.edge@careleavers.com for more info. …Get involved in Campai Campaigning •
Get involved in CLA pr projects or if you want to get involved in wider campaigning (not just about Care), the Briti British Youth Council is for all young people in Britain to effect change in government. www.byc.org.uk www.byc • The link below also ha has some good info on campaigning in general. www.thesite.org/homelawandmoney/activism/campaigning www.thesite.org/home
“TRY NOT TO STRESS OUT!!” Life isn’t always fun and leaving care can sometimes be hard!! Sometimes you can be overwhelmed and feel totally alone and unsupported. There are lots of us who have in the past taken things out on those closest to us or even on ourselves. We want you to know you are not alone, that’s why we are sharing our stories. Emotional wellbeing relates to everyone. You don’t need to have an emotional wellbeing ‘problem’ for this information to be relevant to you. The information below has come from care leavers who have experienced a range of emotional wellbeing issues with the goal of passing on tips and advice to other care leavers. Often we might feel like we are on our own and not in control as we haven’t got the support systems in place to support us through the process. We may also feel like we have a negative identity due to the label of being from care or our past experiences. We might not have anyone to talk to about the issues because we fear they may not truly understand what it was like being in care or be able empathise with the issues about why we were in care.
Relationships with others Sometimes we might find it hard to trust others and it can often be hard to build new relationships. Here are our three top tips for relationships: • Learn to love yourself, who you are and where you are going • Smile and the world will smile with you! • You are not alone. There are lots of others who fi nd it hard to build relationships • Try to write a diary, where you concentrate on yourself and your feelings and reflect at the end of the day These hints and tips are only intended as a way of sharing experiences as we are not trained professionals . So it may be that you need to seek some help from organisations who offer therapy services or alternatively seek help from your GP. You may also want to consider other options such as self-help books, complementary therapy or herbal remedies. On the useful links sections on the next page you will fi nd details of organisations that can help.
Rock Bottom Crisis Points- some tips It may be that we hit rock bottom, everything seems to have fallen apart and there seems like there’s no way of sorting things out. Our feelings of anxiety or depression may be so scary that we are afraid of telling anyone as we think that they’ll think we’re mad and they won’t understand. We may even have been making things worse by using short terms fixes like alcohol or we may have said or done something out of anger. It seems like a tall order but it’s possible to sort things out, it just requires a bit of perspective. Here are some tips to remember if you find yourself in this situation: • • • • • • •
You are not alone. There are lots of people who have experienced similar issues out there. If you need support you can get it Calm down by slowing your breathing. Take 3 deep breathes and count to ten Try to express any feelings or thoughts on paper by writing them down or through other creative expression such as art to try to get them out, this may also help you understand what you are experiencing Try to write down a list of positive things in your life and areas that need improving, so that you can work out a plan to improve things Think about factors that maintain your problem and ways to overcome them Talk to someone you trust or if you are unable to do so remember that you can turn to trained support from someone over the phone by calling a helpline. Don’t feel silly as that’s what they are there for Access support for any issues that need addressing (see the organisations listed below). This may be around relationships, anxiety, confidence building, communication, anger management etc. Remember yyou are not alone!
Useful Links to Organisations that can help: • Advice for young people on managing emotions and mental health: www.youngminds.org.uk/young-people Advice on mental and emotionall wellbeing from recognising symptoms to treatment : www.mind.org.uk/help/information_and_advice • Advice on mental health and coping with self harm: www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm • Advice and support on anxiety , symptoms and treatment: www.anxietyuk.org.uk/about-anxiety/young-people-and-anxiety/
“TRY NOT TO STRESS OUT!!”
Shara’s story This is my diary entry for a real life experience of a care leaver. Well I am finally there, I’m leaving care. However, I don’t know if I want to! It’s not like I can rely on my parents if I get stuck, and if they could help me, I wouldn’t go to them as I feel I need to prove that I will be better than they are ! However, what if I’m not? What if once I live on my own and I’m an adult in the big wide world, I fall into `the trap’? The same trap my parents did, with alcohol and giving up on being part of society. I know I will always have my foster carers to ask for help to, but I also know that not all care leavers have that relationship with their foster carers. Me, I will be happy if I don’t turn out like my parents, I will be happy just to know that I am earning money and trying, because no one said that life was ever going to be easy. I will be in college for the next year fighting for the career I have always wanted and living my life to the full! I refuse to live off benefits and do nothing with my life as you only get to live once and I plan to make the most of it! With the support of my foster carers and my aftercare leaving worker, I know I will be able to succeed in becoming independent and I will be able to contribute to society and my local community in my chosen career as a veterinary nurse. It’s exciting, but daunting all at the same time! I’ve come a long way since I first came into care. I’ve got a long way to go! But with support I am looking forward to life’s journey that is laid in front of me because I know somewhere along that journey, I will achieve my dream.
Susan’s story When I was 14 I went in to care. For a few years before, I was a messed up child! That’s how I see it anyway, and probably always will. I made my mam’s life a living hell because I had been keeping a secret from her which means she will never love me the way she used to. It has destroyed her. When I look back now I see myself as to blame for the hurt I caused her. She was a fantastic mam and tried her best in every way to help me. We looked after each other. So I went into care and I was in a good foster placement for three years. I see it as good now, though I didn’t always see it like that then. They were a loving a couple trying to give me the childhood I never had; a loving home and a family life. Really I wanted to be back with my mam and I was confused and struggled to adapt. My foster carer always tried to help me, but at times she was confused too. I used to go up and down, angry, then happy. Really I just wanted to be loved. All I want now is to be able to say sorry to my foster carer for the way I treated her and her family. You don’t realise how much a foster carer does. All the love, care, attention and patience they put in to look after a child that is not theirs. It must be a hard job, but they also say it is rewarding. I think I destroyed the rewarding part for my carer and I wouldn’t want that for other carers. Now I live on my own, most of the time, in supported lodgings and I miss my carer. I will always regret the way I treated my carer and what I put my mam through. I feel like I let everyone down. Now I want to make things better. I want to make my mam proud before she dies. I want to show my foster carer that caring can be a rewarding job and not all foster children behave like I did. If you are reading this and yyou are in foster care please tryy to show your p y carer love, affection and respect. p Just tell them if you y are angryy or upset. Don’t take things out on the people who love you.
MAKING A SUCCESS OUT OF OUR LIVES :) Your leaving care team should encourage you to be involved in education or training or to pursue employment. To help you do this they should look at paying for: • registration fees • course fees • exam fees • equipment you need • course books • activities to do with the course • transport to and from the course centre or your place of work • any clothes or uniform you need to do the course or job You will be entitled to support from your leaving care team if you are in full time education or training until you are 25 years old. Your local authority should have a clear policy outlining the support available for young y g people. p p
Lucy’’s Journey I’m 24 and first experienced the care system when I was 14, in 2001. I entered care in the summer holidays between years 9 and 10. My younger two brothers and sister were also placed in care at the time because of my mum’s drug addiction. This was originally planned to be just a 6 month placement but after 18 months was made permanent. I stayed with the same single foster carer until I was 18 and then moved into independent accommodation until I went to university in Liverpool later the same year. As part of my degree course, I moved to Germany for one year to work as a teaching assistant in a secondary school. I ended up staying an extra year doing the same job before returning in 2009 for my final year at university. What do I count as my greatest achievement in education? In 2010 I graduated from the University of Liverpool with a first class degree in German Studies. I won a prize for my German history dissertation and a distinction for my use of oral German in my final exam. I enjoyed secondary school and finished in 2005 with A levels in German, history and biology and an AS level in chemistry.
Yanik’s Journey DOB: 07/08/86 • Leaving Kinshasa, DR Congo, Africa:I experienced what many of American bound African slaves did in some aspectsduring physical slavery. I was about 4-5 yrs old; I wasn’t kidnapped in the night but I was left as a child and lost what I perceived as my identity and culture. Even though at the time I still spoke both Lingala ( native DR Congo language) and French, I was mocked as I didn’t know English, so on some level, I rejected my own, in order to learn and be part of this new British culture which I was in. I became very good for my age at English at about 8-9, by 10 I was particularly good at spelling and I loved reading. • Family abuse/Neglect / Crime in childhood:I lived with my half-brother and his wife in East London. His wife would be particularly abusive to both me and my sister… she did things like make us use our hands to “hoover” the carpet sometimes when hoover was there…! We were hit with belts, boiling water was thrown on me by his wife; we were deprived of food, and at 7-9 yrs old, I was forced into crime as had to steal from shops, steal trollies and break into houses to eat; even of people I knew. I trusted nobody particularly adults. One of the reasons I did well in school was because I hated being at home, I would leave for school at 7.50am and arrive at 8 am, an hr before school started. My favourite teacher would provide me with hot chocolate and biscuits… she made me like school! I think she noticed I would be hungry in the morning & my physical scars; she informed social services and I went into long term care. I never spoke to or saw my half-brother, his wife or children; only when I see them in the street by chance. But I have no hard feelings. • Foster care : I had several foster placements however, I was lucky as I more or less had the same foster carer for 10 yrs, a single Jamaican lady who raised me like her own, a close family member chose to move out when she was 15yrs old so we were raised separately by different foster carers. She had moved multiple often within foster parents with biological children who made her feel she was not valued as their own children. She became depressed and was taken into a hospital • Teen yrs/:Drugs/sex and crime: During her period of 8 months in hospital I was in denial. I didn’t have anyone to talk about her condition nor did I want to. I self-medicated by being numb while “high” on skunk all the time and at the time I had a lot of criminal connections who knew me as someone capable of violence and not “stupid” so I got involved quite heavily , quite quickly. I wanted to be part of a family and I wanted the money which got me the “fly” girls and nice things, so I would be the guy willing to do almost anything. This is where so many young men and women get trapped and many don’t see a way out • Family reunion: This was weird at first. I met my mum after over 10 yrs at a family friend house in Croydon. It was the strangest day of my life. For many years I had imagined the reunion and in my head it went perfect every time, however; reality proved different. I was hit with the fact that I couldn’t speak the same language. Meeting my mum began a turbulent healing process. • Self-evaluation: Checked into my own mental “A&E” (Awareness & Empowerment), this is where the concept of workshop and toolkit came about. My younger brother came to UK 5 years ago at 14 years; on seeing friends in jail, associates dead, I decided that I didn’t want younger brother following my steps, so I thought of ways that I could influence myself if I was 15 yrs old again because that’s when I started to pursue the street life by choice. • Summary:I wouldn’t change anything from my past….I’m thankful for all the pain and suffering I have experienced as I appreciate all the beautiful things even more…. And my experiences has given me courage, determination awareness and insight which has equipped me for anything life may throw at me and I passionately hope to share some of these lessons to others to help others on their journey of life…In a time of uncertainty; one thing I am certain about is that the future is what we create! Hotep (peace) www.imhotepfoundation.org.uk Email: ybeya@imhotepfoundation.org.uk
Tim’s Journey My Name is Tim Clare and I am 23 years of age and I have recently just left care, thankfully it was a smooth transition and I can now say that I have a positive view on life ahead largely, due to being so well supported whilst being in care. Despite the challenges, difficulties, complexities, and dysfunction prior to being in care, I have managed to overcome this and achieve many positive outcomes that I hope will enable me to live a successful future. A care experience for me which for most of the time was a positive and functional one is why I feel that I have achieved my potential and I can only hope that this is the same for all other young people that come to the attention of the Local Authority and have to be looked after. I feel that my achievements are a direct result of having a strong and positive mind set, a mind-set that encompasses a strong work ethic, a mind-set that encompasses resilience, determination and a focus of deferring gratification to a later date. I would like to think that my achievements to date are as follows; •
Receiving the Princess Diana award back in secondary school for my efforts within the school and the local community. (In year 9, this was a turning point for me - a point in time where I realised that I wanted to live a successful future.)
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Managing to succeed and get good GCSE’s that enabled me to get into Loughborough College.
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Studying A-level Sociology, Psychology, and Law and getting grades A, C, C and gaining a place at the University of Leeds studying Sociology and Social Policy. (Graduating with a 2:1 degree that included a 1st for my dissertation - which focussed on looked after young people and educational achievement)
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Studying for a Masters in Criminology and Criminal Justice at Loughborough University and passing this and graduating again in December 2010.
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Working for the Leicester City Council (my former corporate parents) as the Looked After Children Project Worker which is a position that I am so passionate about. (Developing the work of the Children In Care Council - and attempting to be a VOICE for the looked after young people population, and improving services and outcomes for looked after young people in whichever way that I can)
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Some may laugh, but being crowned Mr Leicester, and then coming runner-up at the Mr England finals at the Hilton Hotel in Birmingham in July 2010.
To date, these are my greatest achievements, and I hope that there will be many more in the future, but as mentioned - it’s about THE INDIVIDUAL MIND SET - IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED THEN YOU CAN !!!
Fiona’s Journey I am a 25 year old university graduate, who from the age of 12 has been within the care system. I am from a town in the north west of England who have supported me greatly while I have been at university and throughout most of my education. •
What do you count as your greatest achievement in education?
Getting the opportunity to progress onto higher education and succeeding in that, with support from social services at home and workers for care leavers at my university. This is a chance most young people in care never get to achieve or can just about dream of as they don’t have someone supporting them in this. •
Which people helped you most to do well at school/college?
Some of my teachers and social services staff helped me to do well at school as they would be there if things were getting too much or I needed extra time for things, although I chose to carry on without this extra help as I didn’t want to seem different to my friends. •
What were the hardest things about being in care and trying to do well at school?
Not having the support at home to help you succeed and learn, while the support was there from school and others it was looking at home which made trying to study and do assignments that bit harder as I didn’t have the support to do this. Having people treat you as different because of the background you come from and judge you because of this, although this was quite rare for me. • If you could change the system to help young people in care do well in school/college, what changes would you make? Make sure that the young person is supported throughout their schooling not only by social workers, but also teachers and people were they live to help them succeed. help them to access further help if they need this to excel at something they are good at and to offer support to them financially if they go on to higher education at university as without this extra finance they may drop out and fail the course as care leavers have greater needs for support and finance than others when at university.
A Final WORD...
Next Issue… We are going to be focussing on Accommodation and also Gett ing in Trouble with the Law. If you have any experiences that you want to share or views or ideas please get in touch with Clare (Young People’s Project Worker) clare.edge@careleavers.com
Being a Care Leaver How do you feel about being a care leaver? Do you want to meet other care leavers and share experiences? There are lots of ways you can get involved! visit www.careleavers.com for more information. Networking Project: a network of care leavers who meet at various locations across the country to share experiences and ideas. For more information please contact Darren Coyne (Networking Project Worker) darren.coyne@careleavers.com
Organisations that can help you For more information on your rights and entitlements in care and leaving care contact: • Offi ce of the Children’s Rights Director Tel: 0800 528 0731 www.rights4me.org For information and advice around leaving care entitlements • Care Leavers’ Association Tel: 0161 236 1980 www.careleavers.com For information around the law and your entitlements contact: • Children’s Legal Centre www.lawstuff .org.uk Tel:0808 020 008 To get involved in lobbying campaigning around in Care issues contact: • A National Voice www.anationalvoice.org Tel:0161 237 5577 • Who Cares? Trust www.thewhocarestrust.org.uk Tel:020 7251 3117 To get involved in lobbying and campaigning around leaving care contact: • Care Leavers’ Association Tel: 0161 236 1980 www.careleavers.com For an advocate to help you complain about something you are unhappy with about services from the leaving care team or social services contact: • Voice www.voiceyp.org Tel: 0808 800 5792
Illustrations by Lee Wilbraham email:leewilbs23@hotmail.co.uk
For more information contact Clare clare.edge@careleavers.com
With Special Thanks to Stockport Children’s Rights Service. Also a big thanks to Aaron Birtles, Julie Boyle, Colette Hughes, and all the other people who took part in the development project and all those who contributed their stories
Care Leavers Association is a registered charity (1111988) and limited company (5204243)