CX February 2021 Issue

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Lawmaker Claims That America Is In “Rebellion Against God” In Anti-LGBTQ & Anti-Abortion Rant For Family & Friends VICTORY: Florida Will Protect LGBTQ Civil Rights Virginia Moves Forward On Bill To Decriminalize HIV Transmission Trixie Mattel Is The New Co-Owner Of Milwaukee’s Oldest Gay Bar Dolly Parton Turned Down The Presidential Medal Of Freedom Twice When Trump Offered It To Her Traveling To A Homophobic Country? Here’s Rule Number One. Camden County Mom Removes Student From School After Child Targeted For Gender Identity Rainbow Notary & Nuptials Conservatives Can’t Stop Talking About Lindsey Graham’s Latest Gay Controversy

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Cash opined that “so many things have happened in our lifetime Lawmaker Claims That America Is In that we have “Rebellion Against God” In Anti-LGBTQ become numb. & Anti-Abortion Rant It takes about By John Meyrick 5 or 10 years, LGBTQ organizations are and we become numb to the condemning a state senator in last thing that happened, South Carolina who went on a because the next thing’s bizarre, anti-LGBTQ rant — already among us.” using Martina Navratilova to The first ‘thing’ he bought up put down transgender people was marriage equality: “It — while debating an antiwasn’t too long ago that this abortion law that was under body — I wasn’t here — but consideration. they passed something about Senator Richard Cash (R) marriage, defining marriage claimed that the Civil Rights between man and a woman,” Era and marriage equality have he recalled. “The Supreme caused the “slow, downward, Court came along and said ‘no, moral decline in this country” no, no, no, anybody can get he’s seen throughout his entire married. Two men, two women. life. He argued that the We’re going to throw out proposal under consideration everything we know about — which bans abortion as soon marriage and human history. as a fetus’s heartbeat can be We’re going to throw out all the detected, essentially preventing state laws that might regulate most from receiving an abortion or govern this ancient once they learn they’re institution’,” he said referencing pregnant — not only doesn’t go the U.S. Supreme Court’s far enough, but is the decision in Obergefell v. continuation of the “flat out Hodges. rebellion…against God’s moral “You know what? We don’t law” that America exists in think about that anymore. It’s today. always on to the next thing in “We are in a slow, downward, this downward spiral,” Cash moral decline in this country… claimed. “Now we’re talking that was accelerated in the about transgenderism, and it’s 1960s and continues on to this frankly so crazy.” day,” Cash opened his Cash continued, “it’s hard for remarks. “I am going to get me to wrap my head around it, theological. I believe as a that someone can wake up one nation, we are in rebellion day in a man’s body and say, ‘I against God and God’s moral think this is all messed up. I law. Just flat out rebellion.” think I’m a woman…’ or vice versa,” he says before bringing

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up a proposal he previously introduced that would have restricted trans girls and women from participating in sports activities under their gender identity. “Simply, if you’re a young man, biologically, you cannot claim to be transgender and then compete against young women in sporting events. Right?” Cash mocked “our cultural elite” that have turned trans issues into “the new front of the civil rights effort,” and then criticized President Joe Biden “an executive order basically saying the same thing.” “Now we have a President that wants to say, ‘if the boy says she’s a girl, then he – he, she – should be aloud to compete. Maybe even use the bathrooms and showers because you cannot deny these transgender person their basic rights,” Cash said. He rambled on to bring up out tennis legend Martina Navratilova, first bringing up her “great rivalry” against Chrissy Evert before adding she “was an out of the closet lesbian at the time, which was a little unusual…” “At that time, she was kind of on the forefront of the civil rights effort. Then this whole transgender athletics thing came along, and she fell behind the times,” says Cash, referencing her stance against trans athletes competing against cisgender athletes, which she has somewhat changed tunes on since by interviewing trans people and signing statements in support


of trans athletes.

Cash’s inflammatory tirade against LGBTQ South “She happened to say Carolinians go unchecked – something like, ‘I don’t think and let me be clear, his words that’s a good idea… let are not just empty vitriol. He biological men… compete has a long history of pushing against women.’ Those who are more politically correct and legislation that would directly threaten the lives and dignity of further advanced in their LGBTQ people in our state,” understanding of where we’re going next said, ‘you’re wrong said AFFA’s Chase Glenn, chosen to speak for the group. about that.'” “Cash’s speech, however, Looking at his colleagues, advocated for the erasure and Cash remarks, “you’re all marginalization of LGBTQ thinking, ‘oh, boy, you’re way out in the weeds now…’ but I’m people and was immediately not. Because the point was, as harmful.” a nation, we’re in rebellion Cash also made earlier against God’s moral law. That’s comments against including a just one manifestation of it.” provision in the bill that allows He then returns to talking about ‘exceptions’ for women who are the bill in question, pledging to victims of rape or incest to access abortions. Cash’s not only seek a further limitation against abortion, but Republican colleague, Mia condemn his colleagues for not McLeod, was so offended by those remarks that she stood standing against abortion and and revealed that she herself LGBTQ rights enough. was a victim of sexual assault, “Some of y’all just want this to and she found that “it’s this bill go away. Apparently it’s gone that mocks God by taking away away today, and I understand our rights, our liberties, our that, and I’m going to vote for freedoms and our choices.” this bill, but it’s not going away today,” he promised. “When we Although the ‘exception’ was pass this bill, I’ll still be working added, McLeod ultimately on a bill that will still protect an voted against the proposal, the only Republican that did so. innocent life from the point of The GOP-majority chamber conception.” passed it anyway. After viewing his remarks online, South Carolina LGBTQ This isn’t Cash’s first time standing against LGBTQ organizations — the Alliance for Full Acceptance (AFFA), the equality. Since 2014, he has campaigned proudly against Harriet Hancock Center, marriage equality, writing on Gender Benders, and the his website that “God designed Campaign for Southern men and women for a unique Equality — issued a joint type of companionship in statement condemning the marriage, which naturally resenator. sults in children… I will actively “We will not allow Senator oppose those that undermine

it.” Cash previously ran against Lindsey Graham in the 2014 primaries for his U.S. Senate seat. Cash came in third, and the incumbent Graham won and retained his seat. He won the election for his state senate seat in 2016, and easily earned reelection this past fall. The abortion law’s passing comes just days after the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) once again ranked South Carolina as one of the states with the least LGBTQfriendly laws in the United States. They deemed the state a high priority to achieve basic equality. HRC found that South Carolina doesn’t have protections against discrimination in housing, employment, or public accommodations, based on sexual orientation and gender identity. There are no statewide hate crimes statutes based on sexual orientation and gender identity, measures against harassment and/or bullying of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity, and zero measures to restrict so-called “conversion therapy.” Trans South Carolinians further have zero protected transgender-inclusive health benefits when working for the state and cannot update their gender on driver’s licenses or birth certificates. The Movement Advancement Project (MAP) has found that only 14 percent of South Carolina has any kind of protections for LGBTQ people. www.cityxtramagazine.com 07


For Family & Friends By Lambda Legal

For some, learning that a family member is lesbian, gay, bis exual, transgender or questioning (LGBTQ) can be difficult. For others, this information is welcomed and recognized as a sign of trust. How a parent responds to their LGBTQ child will have an enormous impact on the child’s development and on the quality of the parent-child relationship.

the country (see www.pflag.org to find the chapter nearest you). Most importantly, reassure your child of your unconditional love. Show appreciation for the strength and courage it takes to come out. If your family member has come out to you, it’s likely that it took a lot of strength and You are not alone. courage to make that Upon learning that your family disclosure. It’s now up to you to member is LGBTQ, you may match this with your own feel a variety of emotions courage, commitment, love and ranging from relief and support. Your expression of acceptance to shock, denial, your love and acceptance is guilt and anger. Approximately extremely important for your one in every four families in this child’s well-being. country has a family member If you learned that your child is who is LGBTQ. Many families LGBTQ from another source, struggle in isolation, unaware avoid confronting your child, of community resources to help and instead model strength, them. You owe it to your child courage and respect so that and to yourself to find the your child will feel more resources, support and comfortable confiding in you. education you may need to Do your best to embrace your move toward understanding child, his or her identity and his and acceptance. or her decision to be open or One of the most valuable not with you. resources is Parents, Families Expand your knowledge of and Friends of Lesbians and LGBTQ issues. Gays. PFLAG offers a Don’t rely on unfounded myths volunteer-based network of and stereotypes about LGBTQ peer support chapters around people. Supportive literature specifically intended for parents of LGBTQ youth can help you 08 www.cityxtramagazine.com

develop a better understanding of these issues and a better relationship with your child. Such resources can be obtained through PFLAG, your local library or bookstore, an LGBT community center (to locate the one nearest you, see the National Association of LGBT Community Centers at www.lgbtcenters.org), or the Family Acceptance Project™ (http://familyproject.sfsu.edu). Understand the importance of your support. Be mindful that your reaction to your child’s sexual orientation or gender identity will have a major impact on his or her life. LGBTQ children and youth who are rejected by their parents face a significantly higher risk of depression, substance abuse and suicide compared with LGBTQ youth from accepting families. Once they understand the importance of their support, many parents of LGBTQ youth find that they eventually develop a stronger, closer relationship with their child. Don’t try to change your family member’s sexual orientation or gender.


While young people may go through a process to come to understand what their sexual orientation or gender identity may be, it’s important to understand that these traits are a part of each person’s identity and can no more be changed for an LGBT person than they can for anyone else. Be suspicious of organizations that promote “freedom from homosexuality” through “conversion” or “reparative” therapy. Such assertions are based upon the misguided belief that there is something wrong with LGBTQ people. Leading professional organizations such as the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American Medical Association have issued warnings against such therapies and the harmful effects they have on those subjected to them. Conversion therapies are regarded by mental health experts as ineffective, unethical and the cause of increased risk of depression, anxiety and self-destructive behaviors.

Instead of trying to change your LGBTQ child, give him or her support. Stand up for your family member if he or she is being picked on or harassed outside your home. As a family member, you should protect your LGBTQ family member from harm and harassment—in school, your neighborhood and in the community—just as you would for any family member. This is particularly important if your family member recently made the decision to come out at school or to friends. Research consistently shows that LGBTQ youth face far greater risks of harassment and violence from their peers than non-LGBTQ youth. Assure your child that you are on his or her side. Reconcile this new information with your religious beliefs. Learning that your family member is LGBTQ can be especially challenging if you feel your faith or religion opposes homosexuality. Being LGBTQ does not impact a

person’s ability to be spiritual or religious any more than being heterosexual does. While some religious denominations continue to condemn lesbian, gay and bisexual sexual orientation, transgender identity and gendernonconforming expression, others publicly support gay rights and LGBTQ individuals. In fact, within many religious communities there are support groups for LGBTQ members and their families, including Dignity for Catholics (www.dignityusa.org) and Affirmation for Mormons (www.affirmation.org). You can seek supportive resources and counsel to help reconcile your religious beliefs with your commitment to your LGBTQ family member. Adapted from Getting Down to Basics: Tools to Support LGBTQ Youth in Care, Child Welfare League of Am. & Lambda Legal (2006, revised 2012), available at www.lambdalegal.org/ publications/getting-down-tobasics

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VICTORY: Florida Will Protect LGBTQ Civil Rights By Equality Florida

In a victory for LGBTQ Floridians, the agency that enforces state civil rights law has affirmed that discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodations based on sexual orientation and gender identity is illegal. The Florida Commission on Human Relations (FCHR) has issued a notice formally announcing its intent to fully implement the US Supreme Court’s ruling in Bostock v. Clayton County and investigate claims of anti-LGBTQ discrimination. “This is a huge win and cause for celebration statewide. Any LGBTQ person anywhere in Florida who experiences discrimination now has a path to pursue justice,” said Nadine Smith, Executive Director of Equality Florida. “The U.S. Supreme Court declared that discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity is illegal and the agency that enforces civil rights protections for all Floridians has made it clear they will follow the law of the land.” The FCHR decision comes in 10 www.cityxtramagazine.com

the wake of the landmark Supreme Court decision in June of that held discrimination on the basis of “sex” is inclusive of discrimination based on a person’s sexual orientation and gender identity. Commissioner Monica Cepero, who made the motion to affirm the Bostock ruling, praised her colleagues for clarifying fundamental protections for the LGBTQ community. “I couldn’t be more grateful to Governor Ron DeSantis for appointing me to the Florida Commission on Human Relations. It is noteworthy that the FCHR has recognized and embraced the Supreme Court’s 2020 Bostock ruling clarifying fundamental protections for the LGBTQ+ community. In my nearly 30 years of public service, I can’t think of many more significant milestones that I have been honored to be a part of. Discrimination in any form is unacceptable and I’m proud to be a part of a Commission that values equal treatment and has the courage to do the right thing to protect the residents of the State of Florida.”

Support for LGBTQ protections has grown steadily in Florida where more than 60% of the population lives in areas where local protections include sexual orientation and gender identity nondiscrimination provisions. More than 83% of Americans support laws that protect LGBTQ people against discrimination in jobs, public accommodations, and housing. In fact, the Florida Competitive Workforce Act, bipartisan legislation aimed at updating Florida civil rights statute to prohibit discrimination against the LGBTQ community, has been among the most co-sponsored legislation in Tallahassee for three years in a row. “When I was elected to the legislature I set the goal of securing protections for LGBTQ people across our state,” said State Representative Carlos Guillermo Smith. “Today that goal has been achieved. This is a moment to celebrate and continue the work of making our state a welcoming and inclusive place for everyone to live, work and visit.” Senate sponsor Darryl Rouson thanked Governor DeSantis for


appointing Cepero and called the FCHR’s action a crucial step forward for the state. "All Floridians should be treated as human beings regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. With Commissioner Cepero’s leadership and the clarity of the Florida Commission on Human Relations, Florida is leading the way as a beacon of equality in the South,” said Rouson.

disability, national origin, age, and marital status. Therefore, the FCHR accepts claims of sex discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation for investigation in employment and public accommodations complaints. Furthermore, the FCHR investigates housing discrimination under the Florida Fair Housing Act and Title VIII, based upon race, color, The move by FCHR comes on national origin, religion, sex, the heels of President Biden’s familial status, and disability. The FCHR is committed to sweeping Executive Order investigating housing violations implementing these based upon sex discrimination nondiscrimination protections across federal agencies and is due to non-conformity with gender stereotypes. further evidence of the dramatic swing in public On January 20, 2021, support for LGBTQ equality. In President Biden, by Executive a first for over 800,000 LGBTQ Order, indicated that it is the Floridians, the decision policy of his administration to provides those who experience prevent and combat discrimination an official state discrimination on the basis of channel through which to file a gender identity or sexual claim and affords them the full orientation, and to fully enforce protection of Florida’s civil Title VII and other laws that rights laws. prohibit discrimination by having all federal agencies NOTICE: On June 15, 2020, (defined as any authority of the the U.S. Supreme Court, in United States that is an Bostock v. Clayton County, “agency” under 44 U.S.C. § Georgia, 140 S. Ct. 1731 3502(1), other than those (2020), held that Title VII’s considered to be independent prohibition on discrimination regulatory agencies, as defined “because of…sex” covers in 44 U.S.C. § 3502(5)) review discrimination on the basis of all existing orders, regulations, gender identity and sexual guidance documents, policies, orientation. The Florida programs, or other agency Commission on Human action that were promulgated Relations (FCHR), as a Fair or are administered under Title Employment Practice Agency VII or any other statute or under 29 C.F.R. sections 1601.70-1601.80, investigates regulation that prohibits sex discrimination. The Florida employment discrimination Commission on Human under the Florida Civil Rights Relations will be watching for Act and Title VII, based on guidance from its federal race, color, religion, sex,

partners, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, that may revise, suspend, or rescind previous agency actions that would impact its current procedures or processes. ### Equality Florida is the largest civil rights organization dedicated to securing full equality for Florida’s LGBTQ community. Through education, grassroots organizing, coalition building, and lobbying, we are changing Florida so that no one suffers harassment or discrimination on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. www.equalityflorida.org

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Virginia Moves Forward On Bill To Decriminalize HIV Transmission By Jennifer Yang

A proposed law in the state of Virginia would repeal the state’s criminalization of the transmission of HIV and would end the “crime” of donating blood or body tissue while having HIV or the hepatitis B or C viruses Senate Bill 1138 “repeals the crime of infected sexual battery,” as exposing or transmitting HIV it is currently classified as under the law. If passed, it would end Virginia’s tenure as one of 37 states that criminalizes people living with the virus. State senators Mamie Locke (D) and Jennifer McClellan (D) introduced S.B. 1138 on January 13. It has passed the Virginia Senate Judiciary Committee, read on the Senate floor, and is currently under consideration by the full Senate body. In a press release, McClellan — a candidate for Virginia governor — stated that “living with HIV should not be a crime. “We know current laws deter testing and create additional barriers for vulnerable populations. HIV criminalization is a critical public health issue that lawmakers can help solve by passing SB 1138.” 12 www.cityxtramagazine.com

Virginia is one of 26 states with HIV -specific laws that criminalize or control behaviors that can potentially expose another person to HIV, according to the CDC. Another 11 also have laws related to sexually-transmitted or infectious diseases, which could include HIV. Another three have laws that allow for prison sentences to be “enhanced,” or lengthened, if a person has HIV. Only the District of Columbia and 11 other states currently do not criminalize HIV in any specific state laws. Virginia would be the first such state in the South if S.B. 1138 becomes law. Studies by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law in places such as Georgia found that enforcement of HIV criminalization laws result in further disproportionate policing of non-white people. In Georgia, Black men and women are significantly more likely to be arrested for HIVrelated offenses than their white peers, and Black men are almost twice as likely to receive a conviction in comparison to white men. “These outdated, dangerous,

and discriminatory laws disproportionately impact Black, Indigenous, Latinx and other persons of color,” Vee Lamneck, the executive director of Equality Virginia, said in a press release. “To ensure an equitable state for Black and Brown individuals and to promote public health, it’s essential lawmakers pass S.B. 1138.” “Virginia’s current HIV laws are rooted in fear and racial biases. Criminalization increases stigma and harms marginalized communities. Data shows that these laws target and harm women of color, women who do sex work, and transgender women,” Deirdre Johnson, co-founder of the Ending Criminalization of HIV and Overincarceration in Virginia Coalition (ECHO-VA) added. Over the last two fiscal years, ten people in the state have received convictions for committing or attempting to commit “infected sexual battery,” data provided by the proposed legislation notes. Seven were convicted of misdemeanors and three of felonies.



Trixie Mattel Is The New Co-Owner Of Milwaukee’s Oldest Gay Bar By David Vandygriff

Drag Race hall-of-famer and recording artist Trixie Mattel just wandered into her latest, unexpected venture: the drag star has bought out This Is It!, her favorite gay bar from her Milwaukee upbringing.

“My relationship is such that sometimes I will come from General Mitchell [Milwaukee’s airport] to the bar Though she now lives in Los with my bags. … It really is like Angeles, Mattel (real name the Cheers in Milwaukee. I met Brian Frikus) grew up in the some of my lifelong best Milwaukee suburbs. Visiting friends there.” This Is It! at the tender age of 21 turned out to be a formative Mattel joins proprietor George Schneider as co-owner of This experience for Mattel, as she Is It!. The pair hope that with started developing her drag persona thereafter. Now she’s Mattel’s notoriety, the venue will showing gratitude to the 53become something of a year-old establishment by destination bar for tourists. acquiring the bar in hopes of Mattel also added that she keeping it afloat during the COVID-19 pandemic. This Is It! plans to add performance engagements at the bar to help is reportedly Milwaukee’s oldest continually-running gay boost business. bar. “It will elevate the bar’s recognition on a larger scale, “A lot of drag queens made and even for people here This Is It! our happy hour locally,” Schneider told the moment before we had to put on the wig and go do the drag Journal Sentinel. “Trixie has roots here in Wisconsin, and show,” Mattel told the made good on all of her talent Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

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and ability, and still recognizes the value not just of her hometown, but the places she holds close that are also near and dear to their hearts.” Mattel’s actions come at a delicate time for LGBTQ-owned and targeted businesses. Establishments all over the country have shuttered due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic which blocks patrons from gathering in large groups. “In 2020, it’s been thrown in our faces that queer spaces can disappear like that,” Mattel told the Journal Sentinel. “And it really makes you think this is a really valuable service we are providing, not just to the community, but to humanity. People need this. They really do.”



Dolly Parton Turned Down The Presidential Medal Of Freedom Twice When Trump Offered It To Her By David Vandygriff

The fact that country singer Dolly Parton hasn’t won a Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest honor for a civilian, has rubbed the internet the wrong way for years. Even former President Barack Obama said his failure to give country music singer and LGBTQ icon the Presidential Medal of Freedom was a “screw up” and that he would “call Biden” to fix it. Parton has now admitted that former President Donald Trump offered her the honor twice and she turned him down. But now President Joe Biden has come calling. Parton insisted that it wasn’t a political decision, noting “I couldn’t accept it because my husband was ill and then they asked me again about it and I wouldn’t travel because of the COVID.” “Now I feel like if I take it, I’ll be doing politics, so I’m not sure.” Parton typically avoids politics but is a longstanding ally of the LGBTQ community and does engage on other progressive issues like education, reading programs, the social safety net, and civil rights. “But I don’t work for those 16 www.cityxtramagazine.com

awards,” she continued. “It’d be nice but I’m not sure that I even deserve it. But it’s a nice compliment for people to think that I might deserve it.” Parton recently made news when it was revealed that she gave a million dollars to help fund research behind one of the vaccines for the coronavirus. The potential vaccine has so far proven successful and could start being widely distributed by next month. A Tennessee lawmaker has made a proposal to erect a statue of Parton at the state’s capitol. The proposal calls for the creation of a Dolly Parton fund to pay for the statue and would allow her fans, family, and supportive businesses to contribute to the landmark. “At this point in history, is there a better example, not just in America but in the world, of a leader that is [a] kind, decent, passionate human being?” state Rep. John Windle (D) said after introducing the proposal. This is not the first proposal to suggest giving the star entertainer and philanthropist

recognition for her beloved image. In 2019, while discussions on replacing the bust of Nathan Bedford Forrest — a Confederate Army and Ku Klux Klan member — took place, Parton was suggested. “How about getting a lady in there… what’s wrong with someone like Dolly Parton being put in that alcove?” said state Rep. Jeremy Faison (R). Ultimately, the bust of Forrest was voted for removal by the state House of Representatives, but the Tennessee Historical Commission still has the issue under consideration.



Traveling To A Homophobic Country? Here’s Rule Number One. By Jensen & Brent Hartinger

Last month a young American named Kristen Gray tweeted about her life as a “digital nomad” in Bali, Indonesia. She wrote about how great it was, as an American, living in a country like Indonesia, with its much cheaper cost-of-living. She also talked about how LGBTQ-friendly she found Bali as a queer woman of color. And she also said she could advise people how to get into Bali, despite the fact that Indonesia is closed to tourism due to COVID. Cue a social media firestorm, including some very pointed feedback from Indonesians themselves. Straight Indonesians were mad at her for her tone-deaf bragging about her “great” life in a country with some serious poverty issues, and for encouraging people to violate COVID restrictions. LGBTQ Indonesians were upset with those things too, and also for the way she portrayed the country as being gay-friendly, which it definitely isn’t, at least for the locals. In fact, last month, two gay men in the Indonesian province of Aceh were lashed seventyseven times for having sex — the third time such a thing has 18 www.cityxtramagazine.com

happened in the province since 2015 when the semi -autonomous region was allowed to enact Sharia law. As with almost everything in life, travel to poorer countries as a gay American is complicated, especially if the country is homophobic. We’re two gay digital nomads who have sometimes lived in less than LGBTQ-friendly countries, and we’ve often asked ourselves: Is it ethical to visit these places? And if we do go, how should we and all LGBTQ people behave? At the very minimum, bragging about the “lower cost of living” in poorer countries is never a good look. What may be true from an American point of view looks very different from the perspective of locals, who often earn shockingly low wages. Worse, there might be no social safety net, with struggling people relying entirely on charity or support from their families. And let’s just say it outright: the reason why things are so “cheap” in developing countries is often that those places were exploited for centuries by richer countries (and probably still

are). The reason many rich countries are wealthy in the first place is because of centuries of colonialism. Traveling to poorer countries means acknowledging all this Western Privilege — repeatedly and often. The technical term for this is: Not Being a Dick. As travel writers, we haven’t hesitated to share financial details about our lives in countries like Bulgaria, or Georgia (in Eastern Europe), or Thailand where, yeah, things are much more affordable for us than in America. But we point out why this is. We’ve also asked ourselves if it’s ethical to visit or live in these countries. Does our presence say we approve of those country’s intolerant practices? We say no. Indeed, under Trump, America arguably had a homophobic government, but no one ever suggested the entire country should be held responsible for the policies of his administration. Here’s something else to


consider: at the risk of sounding like “gay saviors,” LGBTQ travelers help normalize being gay. Homophobic or deeply religious people get exposure to gay people they may never have had before. Stereotypes can’t help but fall. As we travel, we also support gay-friendly businesses, which are vitally important in normalizing LGBTQ people and causes, but which often struggle in repressive countries. We have yet to visit Bali, but we asked some Indonesian locals: Should LGBTQ foreigners avoid their country? The owner of one LGBTQfriendly business (who asked not to be identified) told us: absolutely not! A boycott would hurt gay locals much more than it would help. Another gay Indonesian, who splits his time between Canada and his home country, said LGBTQ tourists coming to his country has absolutely been a net-positive: “Look at what happened with Bali. Gay bars and resorts opened, and it was initiated by foreigners. They fought for LGBT businesses in Bali for such a long time and

now, because of that, it’s becoming more accepting towards LGBT people. In short, yes, more gay tourists coming would be very helpful.” But like Spiderman says, with great power comes great responsibility. So here’s something else to consider — a place where Kristen Gray apparently dropped the ball: when visiting any country, you’re a guest, and it’s your responsibility to respect the local culture and customs, and (within reason) to obey their laws, including the ones regarding COVID. We’re currently living in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and we’ve been embarrassed by some recent bad behavior by gay tourists. Gay bars, hotels, and beaches have been packed with gay and bisexual men flouting rules about wearing masks and social distancing — even as infections and deaths from COVID have skyrocketed in the state of Jalisco. There’s also been a series of incidents of gay men openly having sex in public areas. And White Party promoter Jeffrey Sanker went to great lengths to host a circuit party in Puerto Vallarta, despite local

restrictions against such a large gathering during a pandemic. Puerto Vallarta has been pretty progressive, especially by Mexican standards, but now an anti-LGBTQ backlash is brewing. A local church has begun picketing a new gay bar. Even some LGBTQ Mexicans are upset. One gay man told us, “As a community we demand rights, we demand respect, but what [most local people see are] guys having sex on a balcony or on a public beach… As visitors, we have the obligation to take care of the local community, respect each other and preserve healthy behavior. Being gay doesn’t justify not practicing the rules of society and of good behavior.” Traveling to homophobic countries, like maybe everything in life, comes down to one very simple rule: Don’t Be a Dick. Brent Hartinger is an author whose latest book, Project Pay Day, is available for preorder, and Michael Jensen is the former editor of AfterElton.com. Visit them at BrentAndMichaelAreGoingPlaces, or on Instagram or Twitter.


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'Singled Out, Picked On' Camden County Mom Removes Student From School After Child Targeted For Gender Identity By Daniel Graham

A pattern of bullying and an alleged bathroom assault against a non-binary middle school student in Camden County has led the child's mother to pull them out of school. Rowena Cason said her child, 11-year-old Morgaine Blanchard, identifies as non-binary and uses the pronouns "they/them." She said Blanchard has faced bullying at school and teachers who refuse to use the pronouns. "The pushback started pretty immediately," Cason said. "It was made very, very clear to me that none of the staff had any intention of following the requested pronouns."

Morgaine is in my office,'" Cason said. Cason said Blanchard was in the school bathroom when they were hit in the back of the head and briefly blacked out. According to a Kingsland Police Department report, Blanchard went to the nurse's office complaining of a headache, dizziness and nausea. Blanchard was later taken to the hospital nearby to be checked out.

Webb met up with Blanchard at the hospital following the incident. She said she hopes what happened will lead to more diversity training for faculty and staff at Camden County Schools, specifically around the concepts of gender identity and the use of pronouns.

"There are different programs and seminars that are out there for staff and for students that can be brought into the school "It's gonna be a very long road system," Webb said. "We are before my 11-year-old is going highly advocating for that, to have inclusion programs and a to be able to go back to school," Cason said. "I feel that safe space for students." if the school system had Kingsland Police released the handled it differently, that child following statement: never would have felt that that "On February 1, 2021 a school was an acceptable way to resource officer with the Since the start of the school behave." Kingsland Police Department year, Cason said Blanchard A statement from Kingsland who was located at the has been picked on by Police said the child who hit Camden County Middle School students at Camden Middle Blanchard told an officer that it made contact with a child in the School, without teachers was part of a game students at school nurse's office. The child correcting the behavior. the school were playing where was complaining of a headShe said it's the environment at they hit each other on the back ache, and reported to the nurse the school that led to what of the head. that she had been slapped in happened on Monday. the back of her head. At that "These are our kids and you Cason said she got a call from are allowing our kids to be beat time no visible or physical injury was observed. The the school in the morning. at school," said Haley Webb, child indicated that her being "The school nurse said to me, Blanchard's caregiver while struck was the result of a Cason has been away, and a 'There's been an incident and longtime family friend. "That is game, that other children play. At the request of the child's not okay." 22 www.cityxtramagazine.com


parent the child was transported for medical treatment at a local facility. Through interviews with witnesses at the school, the other child in the incident was identified. The child made statements that striking the other child had been part of a game, and that she had apologized. A review of school surveillance revealed that the incident took place over a three -minute period, and the child who was struck can be seen walking unassisted to and from the restroom where the incident occurred. A Kingsland Police Detective is currently assigned to the case as the investigation continues. Over the course of the investigation there have been no indications that the incident was motivated by any bias. The police department has reached out to the parents of the child, however no call

has been returned at this time. The Kingsland Police Department is working in conjunction with the Camden County Middle School Administration for a resolution in the case. The police department considers the safety of schools to be a priority. All alleged acts of violence within the schools are investigated by school resource officers who receive specialized training in school based investigations."

Phoebe Floyd provided this statement: "Out of respect for student privacy, Camden County Schools does not publicly offer comment on any student-specific questions or concerns. Camden County Schools is committed to meeting the diverse needs of our 9000 students in a safe, equitable, and nurturing learning environment. We work daily to create an educational community where our students, Both Cason and Webb said the employees, and visitors feel student who hit Blanchard has welcome, valued, and not apologized. respected." Since Kingsland Police sent the statement on Tuesday, Cason said she has had contact with the department which she said has no plans to charge the student involved.

When asked, Floyd did not respond to questions of whether faculty at Camden schools are instructed to use students' preferred pronouns, or whether any diversity cityXtra reached out to Camden training for staff includes the County Schools. Spokesperson concept of gender identity.

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Rainbow Notary & Nuptials By Selecia Young-Jones

This past year, more weddings were cancelled than major network sitcoms. It’s a simple fact, because of COVID-19, many people have had to put their wedding plans on pause. While some are content to wait for their big day, Rainbow Notary & Nuptials offers an alternative to the pandemic delay. Founder Selecia Young-Jones created Rainbow Notary & Nuptials in 2018. She wanted to offer couples, all couples, an easy and affordable way to craft the perfect wedding service. Today, more than a dozen mobile wedding notary officiants have joined the team and serve Daytona, Gainesville, Jacksonville, Kissimmee, Miami, Orlando, Sarasota, St. Augustine, and St. Petersburg. Downtown Orlando based

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couple, Mark and Steve, met at a rally more than 20 years ago and have been partners ever since. They decided to have a small, sincere Christmas wedding. “We both agreed and didn’t want to delay. We wanted a COVID-safe ceremony in our backyard. Rainbow Nuptials made it very personal and easy from start to finish.” “It’s an honor to be asked to unite couples from every background under the sun,” said Young-Jones. “To meet and marry those ready to pledge their undying love to each other is priceless and a great joy. We’ve seen a huge spike in athome weddings in 2020, and there is no sign of it slowing down with Spring and Summer

wedding season right around the corner. Our team is ready with just 24-hour notice. This is a wedding trend that is very personal, a safe alternative, and many times streamed to family and friends around the country. ” In addition to weddings, Rainbow Mobile notaries are also available to notarize all documents from real estate closings, last will & testaments, and a wide variety of notary needs. For more information on Florida’s all-inclusive wedding officiants network, visit https:// rainbownotaryandnuptials.com/ or call (904) 333-7311.


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Conservatives Can’t Stop Talking About Lindsey Graham’s Latest Gay Controversy By Elizabeth Hearn

Rightwing media is currently enraged that a White House official made an opaque reference to persistent rumors that Sen. Lindsey Graham (RSC) is in the closet and some conservative pundits are demanding that the media provide more coverage involving those rumors. The controversy centers around comments made by White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki that reference a tweet from gay adult film actor Sean Harding about the 65year-old childless bachelor.

tweet about Graham this past August. Conservatives are now outraged about the tweet and are demanding the media cover it. “Because he’s a Republican, CNN and MSNBC won’t raise hell over this,” Newsbusters editor Curtis Houck tweeted. “Therefore, they’re okay with actual transphobia.”

He didn’t seem to understand the context of the expression “Lady G” – the rumor isn’t that Graham insisted male sex “Every sex worker I know has workers call him “Lady G” been hired by this man,” because he’s a trans woman, Harding tweeted last year, but because he’s a gay man. describing but not naming Major rightwing websites like Graham. Replies to his tweet Fox News, The Daily Mail, and showed that many people The Daily Caller are also understood he was talking calling for the media to pay about Graham, and several more attention to #LadyG. people said they allegedly knew sex workers who were Former U.S. Ambassador to hired by Graham. Other people Germany Richard Grenell said claimed that Graham would it should be “widely insist on being called “Lady G,” condemned.” a play on his initials. Spectator USA editor Amber The rumors were not Athey said that the “Lady G” substantiated, but they did get comment needs to be a mention from Psaki, who discussed at a White House used the hashtag #LadyG in a press briefing. And on Twitter, conservatives

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accused Psaki of outing Graham and wanted her to be questioned about it… which would do very little to stop the outing. The thing is, it’s pretty obvious why the mainstream media isn’t covering this: Graham, who never married and has no kids, has been the subject of unverified rumors that he’s gay for years, and the mainstream media probably doesn’t want to draw more attention to those rumors out of a general reticence to discuss the sexual orientation of anyone who isn’t out. And Graham has denied the rumors. “To the extent that it matters, I’m not gay,” he said in 2018 when the media’s attention was again drawn to the gay rumors. Graham himself hasn’t attacked Psaki, which may be because, unlike rightwing pundits, he realizes that getting conservatives across the country to beat the “Lady G” drum is not in his best interests as an elected Republican official from South Carolina, no


matter how much or how little truth there is to the rumors.

And the controversy is lending itself to the Streisand effect, the phenomenon whereby attempts by a famous person to hide or censor information about themselves have the unintended consequence of getting more people to talk about that information. Headlines across the rightwing media landscape are effectively discussing the rumors that Graham is gay, while saying Psaki is wrong to have brought them up in the first place. So while Grenell can safely call

on the media to “widely condemn” Psaki because he isn’t in the closet, Graham himself probably doesn’t want the rumors to be “widely” discussed at all. Instead, a spokesperson for Graham’s office issued a terse statement that attempted to shift the focus from him to Psaki: “Very disappointed someone in her position would embrace this style of politics. It says more about her than it does about Senator Graham.” LGBTQ organizations have not yet called for Psaki to apologize.

Graham earned a zero on HRC’s latest Congressional Scorecard because of his staunch opposition to LGBTQ equality. He has consistently earned low scores from the LGBTQ organization. He supported a federal constitutional amendment to ban marriage equality, voted against attempts to ban employment discrimination, voted against a bill to allow same-sex couples in D.C. to adopt, and even compared marriage equality to polygamy.

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