BEVERLEY TURNER
COVID-19
A
and the art of reinvention
s we look back on the last twelve chaotic months, it feels as though life stood still: holidays not taken, exams not sat and weddings not held. But, for many people, there have been enormous changes which are easy to ignore. Under the pressure cooker of a lockdown lifestyle, we have all been forced to reflect on what truly makes us happy and question whether our lives could be improved. And if so, what changes do we need to make? To be fair, these are the sorts of huge considerations that women have been undertaking for generations and men have - only more recently - found themselves similarly reflecting upon. Because becoming a parent is to endure or enjoy a minilockdown of your own. And whether we love or loathe that time, we never emerge the same person. When parenting was overwhelmingly a female pastime, men tottered off back to work to wet the baby’s head down the pub at lunchtime. Mothers would take sole care of their new-born, partly out of the necessity of breastfeeding, partly out of love and partly due to cultural expectations. Even now, less than a third of eligible men take paternity leave and so the ‘hands-on’ part of early parenting remains largely a female responsibility. And so, when children and families grow, it predominantly remains the job of the mum to reclaim – or redefine – her own identity. How does she balance paid work with the mountain of unpaid chores? How does she reconcile financial changes with a sense of self-worth? Who the hell is she when she looks in the wardrobe, the mirror or the future? The changes forced upon millions of families over the last year have caused similar personal dilemmas in households
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all across the world – for Or are we so sick of our little angels that both women and men. we’re busy googling boarding schools? But I have a theory (I’m kidding – sort of…). How are – women are we going to pay the mortgage and Because likely to weather feel professionally or personally becoming a parent these storms fulfilled in the post-apocalyptic is to endure or enjoy a more adeptly world into which we are stepping? mini-lockdown of than their male This line of questioning and partners. We are the need to create a new project your own. already brilliant out of the dying embers of my at utilising the own career, forced me to devise a skills of reinvention. new podcast with old friend, Marina We probably haven’t Fogle (wife of TV’s Ben, but so much more given ourselves credit for this (we than that). Entitled, “As Good As It Gets?” rarely do), but it’s true. our conversations question when we can Just think about the millions of mothers expect to find contentment in life and what over the last fifty years and beyond who changes we can make if we decide that we left their jobs; started their own ventures are simply not happy enough. or retrained to get a better work-life blend. Marina and I choose a topic with universal We mums (and I’m one of those) are used appeal each week and discuss how it fits into to riding these waves of massive change. all of our lives. So in ‘Identity’ we grapple Sorry, fellas, I don’t mean to be dismissive. with how we might answer ‘who am I?’ at But men are commonly skilled at choosing different stages of life; in ‘Marriage’ we very a career and sticking to it with commitment honestly document the trials (and joys) of and determination – and thank god for that. long term relationships; under the heading of But in a time of cultural flux, the female of ‘Honesty’ we turn over when it is necessary the species is arguably better equipped than to be frank and when diplomatic white lies the male. might be wiser – all with one eye on the Resourcefulness, imagination, communinotion of aiming for a life ‘as good as it gets.’ cation and the courage of reinvention will We don’t always agree with one another, but all be requirements as we head into the we do listen and reflect. We are frequently rest of 2021. Change has affected each and told that it’s like “listening to two friends every one of us in ways we may not have having a glass of wine in the kitchen.” And considered and only the brave will emerge boy have we missed that. So, I for one, will happier and wiser. drink to the notion of getting such simple We have all been wondering if we are pleasures back soon, even if we are not quite content. House prices have rocketed outside the same people we once were. London as families flee to bigger gardens with permission to work from home. Do we BEVERLEY TURNER & MARINA FOGLE want to continue our jobs? Do we have a share their thoughts on the As Good As It job to go back to? 250,000 small businesses Gets? podcast. Beverley also runs the Happy Birth Club ante-natal classes. have closed in the UK. Has being around for thehappybirthclub.co.uk the kids made us want to work fewer hours?
