Somebody has to say it: Ten signs of a social media attention whore by Chantelle Simmons
Attention whore (n.): an individual that solicits attention to an excessive degree. The use of social networks, specifically Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have reached record numbers with Facebook reaching 1 billion users in 2012, and Instagram creating b-team photographers out of everyday people. The main objective of social networks is for people to connect with others whether it be family, friends, or strangers through posts, videos, pictures, etc. However, an ongoing trend that began during Facebook’s prime is the increase in the amount of attention whores on these sites who crave to be noticed and socially validated. We all have a little attention whore within us, but some let theirs’ show 10 times more than usual. You may be chuckling at the fact that you have a friend who falls into this category, yet you may come to realize that you don’t fall too far from the tree. 1.Buying Followers (literally). This has to be the most pathetic way to get noticed. Being able to brag on the fact that you have 10,000 followers in a conversation with your friends that you spent $65 on intertwitter.com to receive must be one of the greatest feelings the world has to offer. 2.You take more half naked pictures than Rihanna. We get it. You want to be like your friend who can simply smile and receive over 50 likes on Instagram and Facebook in less than 15 minutes, but that approach proves to no avail for you. Instead, you must post pictures of your breasts that so happenly are trying to escape their nests, or you show off your six pack from multiple angles in the infamous “just got in from a great workout” photo. If these photos do not receive the attention you anticipated, you delete them and head back to the drawing board to figure out why the concept of “sex sells” isn’t working for you. 3. “If I receive ____ likes (or reblogs), I will ____.” What better way to trap your followers into paying you any attention than to politely threaten to do something absurd in 30
exchange for reblogs and likes. Sadly, this tactic is mostly used for relationships and not for stopping Kony. 4. Contentious is your middle name. Nothing ticks Americans off more than arguments about religion and politics. You’re completely aware of this, as you never hesitate to move your fingers swiftly across a keyboard to compile a post on Facebook that will leave your status with 100 comments filled with people arguing with you and eventually everyone else who commented. Ah, the feeling of having all of your friends, family, and strangers going at each other’s throats over a status. Euphoric. 5. You major in intercourse. After all of the “being gay is a sin” posts, and half naked photos, you still don’t have enough likes, followers, and friends for your liking. There has to be another way to be socially validated. Aha! Why not constantly post statuses, tweets, and even create a username for Twitter like “@ Igiveblowjobs” that discuss sex. Because who in their right mind wouldn’t follow or like tweets that talk about favorite positions, oral sex, and orgasms? Besides, you’re the Dr. Phil of sex. 6. You beg for “shoutouts.” In your continuous effort to be the king or queen of twitterverse and instaverse, you network with the people who are popular on the sites and request that they tweet “hey______ is cool and he needs some followers! Go follow him!” or something synonymous. The more people possibly paying attention to you, the merrier. 7. You question your friends’ loyalty. Having a casual conversation with your friends, you realize it would be the perfect time to ask them why didn’t they comment on your facebook post, retweet your tweet, or like your photo on instagram, because that’s what real friends do. 8. You’re constantly posting “LMS” (like my status) statuses. “Like my status if you’re tired.” “Like my status if you eat breakfast.” “Like my status if you’re single.” You’ve mastered the science of finding questions in which most people give the same, obvious, answers and turning them into likes. Smooth. 9. You live a sick, sad, life. Life is hard for everyone, but it’s even harder for you. You’re always “lonely” or you don’t have any “friends” according to the three social sites. Nothing goes right for you, and you greatly appreciate the social media world for having pity as they offer you advice and kiss your never ending boo-boos. 10. You’re in denial about being an attention whore on social media. Your friends and a few others have begun to voice their annoyance with your attention seeking ways. You shun them, believing it is perfectly normal to conduct yourself in such a manner. Remember, the first step in the right direction is to admit that you have a problem.
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