Life
CJN-MMA
February 16, 2011
B3
Some suggestions for the blahs and down times No one’s life is comprised of all highs. We are all experienced sufferers of “down times.” There is no life without times of depression, vulnerability, and fear. They are as much our human birthright as joy, wonder and love. In her book, “After The Darkest Hours,” Kathleen Brehony deals at length with a dozen strategies to help us cope with our darkest hours. I mention here six of her dozen strategies and express them with comments of my own. They’re appropriate for our unsettled times and the blah months of the year. 1.) Discover a larger perspective. One of the reasons difficult times frequently result in a personal spiritual uplift is because they lead us
to see our lives in a larger perspective. The pictures of our journey to the moon gave us a stunning view of earth no one ever had before. We saw ourselves and our world as specks in an immense universe and participants in an astounding mystery. In hard times, trust this mystery and where it is taking us through our good and bad times. 2.) Show compassion and help others. It expands the heart and eases our troubles when we realize we all suffer. Helping others develops a sense of togetherness and empathy. It leads us beyond personal navel gazing and feeling sorry for ourselves. Helping
others doesn’t mean we deny our own feelings. That would be unhealthy. Former psychiatrist Dr. Karl Menninger frequently said, “When certain depressed people come to me, to some of them I say, ‘Lock up your house, go down the street, and help someone.’ ” 3.) Recognize and eliminate self-imposed suffering. We’re not always innocent bystanders to our bleak times. We cause or compound our problems by poor decisions, by mentally chewing on negative thoughts and fears, by noticing what’s wrong instead of what’s right. We pull ourselves down when we attack and bruise our self-image, when we tell
ourselves how inadequate we are and think that we’re just a victim of life. We must have a certain gentleness for ourselves. 4.) Think of courageous role models. We are attracted to heroes and heroines because of similar mutations. They lead us to realize that others, like us, undergo extreme trials and surmount them. A hero starts small and vulnerable, then courageously handles difficult times that come along, and comes out shining on the other side of them. Such people can inspire us and remind us of an inner strength we also have, but have kept unused. 5.) Express your feelings. Longfellow wrote,
“There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” A priority after a disaster or trauma, is to give survivors the chance to tell their stories, cry, be angry, etc. Actually, we have two choices about expressing our pain and intense downness. Either do it now, cleanly and consciously – or leave it fester, torment us within, and seep out unconsciously in bits of anguish throughout a lifetime. Blessed are those who have a friend to genuinely listen. 6.) Silence, prayer and meditation. There are momentous lessons to learn during life. Paradoxically, we learn them more readily in life situations than in classrooms; in
hard times rather than in comfortable times; Father Lou and in soliGuntzelman tude and silence Perspectives more than in occasions of busyness, chatter and noise. As a wise old lady explained to a young visitor, “All my teachers are dead now, except silence.” Poet Rainer Rilke speaks with her when he writes: “Our task is to listen to the news that is always arriving out of silence.” Father Lou Guntzelman is a Catholic priest of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Contact him at columns@communitypress.com or P.O. Box 428541, Cincinnati, OH 45242.
Don’t fall further in debt with for-profit relief companies Credit card debt rose in December for the first time s i n c e 2008. While it is a possible sign consumers are more confident about the Howard Ain economy, a lot of Hey Howard! people are still having problems paying that debt. But, you need to be careful about companies claiming they can help you. Many people are getting calls from firms claiming
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they can reduce the interest rates on your credit cards. Alice Swigert, 83, of Carthage received a letter from a debt relief company last September. At the time she had more than $37,000 in debt on six credit cards. The company saying it could help was from California. Swigert’s son, Floyd, told me, “They’re supposed to be able to get the credit cards paid off at between 40 to 50 percent off. That would amount to around $16,000, and for that their fee would be about $11,000.” Swigert said he was fine with that, but says, “We made five payments and they’ve
got $2,900, and basically our account is only showing $200 to pay the bills.” He said nothing has been paid to any of the credit card companies, and that’s the problem. “Right now we’re five months behind on the bills waiting for them to do something. But the credit cards, they say they really don’t want to work with these people,” said Swigert. While many companies won’t work with the debt relief company, they do want to work with Swigert. Several have even sent Alice Swigert settlement offers ranging from about $650 to $1,600 off the balance.
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However, Swigert said, “One of them put us into collection and the others are just charging us interest and penalties, which is another two to three thousand right now.” Unfortunately, because Swigert signed up with this California firm in September, she’s not entitled to protection from a federal law that took effect at the end of October. That law prohibits debt settlement companies from collecting upfront fees before having settled or otherwise resolved the consumer’s debts. The law says firms can no longer frontload fees as that California
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company had done. In addition, this amendment to the Federal Trade Commission Telemarketing Sales Rule, says consumers must be told how long it will take to get results and how much it will cost – before they sign up. Bottom line, there are still for-profit debt relief companies looking for new clients, so you need to know your rights and be aware. Howard Ain answers consumer complaints weekdays on WKRC-TV Local 12. Write to him at 12 WKRC-TV, 1906 Highland Ave., Cincinnati 45219.
Jakob Gregory Estep
Brandon and Kellie Estep are proud to announce the birth of their son born January 7, 2011 8:49 AM at Bethesda North Hospital. Weighing 9lbs 11.5 oz and 23 inches long.
Gary Sullivan
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