Life
Indian Hill Journal
July 29, 2010
B3
What you’ll feel when a close relationship ends Father Lou Guntzelman Perspectives
selfish purposes, play at being romantic or pretend we love another – but cut and run when things get too serious. That way, we’re never hurt, our ego is soothed, and the pain happens to someone else. It’s sort of a revenge for what happened to us. 3. Pragmatism: We settle for platonic or practical relationships, avoid intense expressions of romance, and relate as a good friend rather than lover. At times of hurt, disillusionment or cynicism, we see no wisdom in the centuries-old adage: “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” Heartaches, though never sought, are part of human existence. When they happen to us they seem devoid of any good aspect, they’re only catastrophic. It takes time to grasp the bigger picture of our lives. We can’t see how the
from her again. No letter. No calls. No explanations … All meani n g , delight and promise seemed to have vanished
from my life.” Millions of people can empathize with his feelings. And whether it happens when we’re young or old, it’s always painful. We never want it to happen again. Numbed by our grief, we often resort to one of the following defenses. 1. Pessimism: we conclude we’re unlovable, people are untrustworthy, or we decide love is an illusion and try to protect ourselves from loving again. 2. Pseudoromanticism: we engage in sex for merely
relational suffering in our lives accomplishes anything but a broken heart. Only later do we dare admit that they often can have some benefit for us: they open unrevealed places in our hearts, create compassion for others, and give birth to a greater wisdom about ourselves, life and the real meaning of love. Ernest Hemingway stated a great truth when he wrote, “Life breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong in the broken places.” Those are just some of the reasons why it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Yet there is even a greater reason. Though we may lose the one we love, we have still accomplished what many yearn for but do not savor. For anytime we genuinely love, we are a magnificent success both spiritually and psychologically.
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Playhouse holds children’s auditions Aug. 7 The Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park will hold auditions on Saturday, Aug. 7, for boys interested in performing two roles in the 2010-2011 production of “Over the Tavern.” A coming-of-age comedy by Tom Dudzick, “Over the Tavern” revolves around wise-cracking Rudy, one of four Pazinski kids growing up above a tavern in 1959. As Rudy prepares for his confirmation, he decides to go knuckle to ruler with his formidable teacher, Sister Clarissa, questioning everything and spending more time on his Ed Sullivan impersonation than his studies. A sell-out hit around the country and at the Playhouse in 1999, “Over the Tavern” returns to the Marx Theatre Jan. 22 through
possibly the part of Georgie – will require a commitment to both the St. Louis and Cincinnati productions. Boys should submit a resume of any experience to the Playhouse, along with a photograph (a good quality school or family photo is acceptable). Boys auditioning for the part of Rudy will be asked to perform a couple of scenes from the play; boys auditioning to portray Georgie will perform a monologue. Rehearsals for the St. Louis production begin Nov. 5; rehearsals for the Cincinnati production begin Jan. 14. Interested boys must be available for all performances of the show, which are scheduled Tuesdays through Sundays and include several weekday student and public mati-
Feb. 19 (opening night: Jan. 27). It will be presented as a co-production with the Repertory Theatre of St. Louis, where it will run Dec. 1 through Dec. 26. Two area boys will be cast to fill the roles of Rudy, who is 12 years old; and his brother Georgie, a 13-yearold boy with mental disabilities, described as sweet but with the mind of a 3- to 4year-old. The boys playing the parts may be slightly older, but have to be able to convey the ages of the characters. The actor portraying Rudy must be personable and possess good comedic timing, while having no discernible dialect. Because of the 1959 setting of the show, the boys must also have the appearance of children of that time period. The part of Rudy – and
nees. Headshots and resumes should be sent to the Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park, ATTN: AUDITIONS, c/o Edward Stern, P.O. Box 6537, Cincinnati, OH 45206. To be considered, all photos and resumes must be received at the Playhouse by Friday, July 30. Those selected to audition will be contacted by telephone to schedule specific times.
it: “The great rhythm of gain and loss is outside our control; what remains within our control is the attitude of willingness to find, in even the bitterest losses, what remains to be lived.” Father Lou Guntzelman is a Catholic priest of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Contact him at columns@community press.com or P.O. Box 428541, Cincinnati, OH 45242.
As Rilke attests, “For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate test, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is preparatory.” The challenge to every human is to love. If our love is not returned, our call still remains. As Dr. James Hollis puts
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It’s said a most precious situation in life occurs when we are able to achieve three important things: to love someone; to have this someone love me; and to have both these things happen at the same time. We smile and knowingly admit, “Yes, but it doesn’t always happen this way.” In his book, “To Love and Be Loved,” Sam Keen relates a crucial time in his life. He was a young man in college and in love with a girl who said she loved him. They often discussed, and really believed, that their relationship was destined for a lifelong journey of bliss. Then, he writes, “In April, the cruelest of months, she came for the spring dance, and after the last waltz, sudden as death, she told me she didn’t love me anymore… “When she left, I collapsed into grief and incomprehension. I never heard