Building Community 2008 Tyler Award Winner: Caryl Greaves Remarks upon accepting the award in September of 2008 I want to thank the school for giving me this award, as it is indeed an honor. However, I feel like I should be giving CFS an award for changing the lives of so many young men, especially those of “my boys.” I have been coming to CFS for over fifteen years, and this is the first time that I do not have one of “my boys” here. You might ask me how many children I have. While I only have one of my own, there are many families to whom I’ve suggested the CFS option. I have seen their sons grow into fine men, each a testimony to the difference that this school makes in young lives.
Previous Tyler Award winners Marc Turner (L) and Sally Graham (R) with ’08’s honoree, Carol Greaves, and her son Nigel, ’95.
Here is my story: When my husband died in 1991, my son, Nigel, was in his second year at a well-known catholic high school in the Bronx, N.Y. He struggled academically, socially and emotionally. He could not play the sports he loved, because he didn’t “make the team,” and he was disenchanted with school and disillusioned about his ability to succeed. I was desperate for a solution and a school that could make him believe in himself again. I told my story to Bill Seymour (CFS class of ’78 and Executive Director of Development), whom I have known for more than twenty years now, from way back in another life when he sold computer software. He said to me, “Your son sounds very much like me when I was fifteen.” I asked him, “You seemed to have turned out all right, what did your mother do?” He said, “My mother sent me to a little school in Pennsylvania that changed my life.” The rest is history. Bill invited us to visit Church Farm. Nigel liked what he saw, and spent his last two years of high school here. I can still hear Dr. Devenney and Mr. Lunardi saying to me that first year, “If we could just light the fire under him...” I am happy to report that the fire was lit, stoked, and is still burning brightly. After Nigel graduated in 1995, I found myself in Bill’s place, listening to friends or family sharing their frustrations with what was going on in their sons’ lives, and I now was able to offer CFS as an option. There was C.J. Shillingford ’98, my cousin’s son from Hempstead, N.Y., who came here with his head down, unable to look you in the eye. Yet, later he proudly played “The Queen” in the Christmas Pageant, and spoke at his graduation ceremony. Hassan Symes, who was the son of a childhood friend and struggled to fit in at a public high school in Rockland County, N.Y., came here and thrived, graduating in 2000. At his wedding in July, more than half of his wedding party was made up of his friends from CFS. They came from as far away as South Korea and Latin America, and from right here – Chuck Watterson, his house parent. The best part of that wedding for me was when Hassan came up to thank me for telling him about CFS, where he made such wonderful friends. There was Kerri Deschamps ’05, whose family was moving and did not know where he would go to school; Dwight Brown ’06, came to CFS at the urging of his brother, Nigel’s college roommate, who was determined to give his younger brother a better chance than the public high school in the Bronx. My godson, Daryl Paynter, was the son of a dear friend who had breast cancer and was undergoing treatment. Daryl spent six years at CFS, graduating in 2003, which allowed his mother to focus on her treatment and be confident that he was in good hands. And finally, Max Jenkins, my grandson, who graduated this past June, and who had spent seventh grade without a math teacher in a New York City public school. These young men, and so many others like them, may not have been straight “A” students or attended Ivy league colleges, but I can tell you that they have all grown up to be fine young men - respectful, socially well-adjusted and confident in their ability to succeed and find their place in the world. They are the reason why I am and continue to be a CFS ambassador.
The Tyler Griffin Award for Excellence in Ambassadorship was established to recognize those individuals who have gone above and beyond in their support of CFS and its students. J. Tyler Griffin served as the Chairman of the CFS Board for many years, and he and his wife, Sonia, have been most generous supporters of CFS. We are pleased to honor Tyler’s legacy each year with this award.
Annual Report To Donors 2008 - 2009
So do not be afraid to tell your story — I am sure many of you have one — and to give the option of CFS to a friend or a neighbor. It may make the difference in a young man’s life!
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