Abbey Poems
(2019)
Christopher Sanderson
A Coastmoor Publication
Abbey Poems
(2019)
Christopher Sanderson
A Coastmoor Publication
© Christopher Sanderson 2019 All Rights Reserved
With EASE
BE CALM

Contents Introduction
9
Fast Mover
11
Unblock
12
Over The Walls
13
Logarithmic Rise And Fall
14
Latecomer
15
Curfew
16
Robust
17
To Robert And Maxim
18
But For One
19
Still, After All Those Years
20
Trust Without Trust
21
He Remembered
22
Do Not Disturb
23
Metered
24
Pressure Off
25
Intangible Apparition
26
Conspicuously Inconspicuous
27
Tipping Points
28
Sums
29
Conclude
30
Introduction June 2019, arriving after an overnight stop in Gloucester, to break the journey, though no need really for the traffic was ok. Next year I will drive the whole way from Lincolnshire in the one go, to give me more time at the Abbey. This year they have changed the timetable, everything in the morning starts one hour later. But in the evening Compline is brought forwards by the same one hour, in this way the day is effectively compressed. Which unfortunately meant I was out of the rhythm and missed Conventual Mass on all three days. Also it meant that I wrote less poetry so I will make up the difference by reflecting on the photographs I took. The weather was what we English call changeable, which somewhat matched the arrangements this year. The walk along the far side of the river has been fenced off, I don’t know why, just like I don’t know why the timetable changed. The words though still flowed, as did the peace, the calm, even I might say the wonderful ecstasy of the early morning.
Enjoy Christopher 2019
9
10
Fast Mover I only just left the chapel in time Just before the acting mother superior Brought in her small but devoted flock Earlier they had prayed Before the burning candles This then is their space number two One of an altogether purer silence I had sort of broken Those quiet rules actually Having found the Chapel To be an ideal place to pen a poem Which of course meant Scrawling nib across paper Though I made as little noise as possible But if I hadn’t have been on my own I am sure I would have caused distraction Which isn’t really fair is it When I only come here once a year The riverside walk has been closed off And there is lots of Harris fencing Waiting in the wings Let’s hope to God that Health and Safety Are not on the Benedictine’s case For I fear it stretches a good way back
11
Unblock Once more to the woods For old times sake Once more to send you greetings From as far away as I can go In dappled sunlight With gates removed And fences erected I stop at the top This year a different path Yet still the fear of heights Stops me veering off For what I think would be a better view I did take a photograph Of the window and its shadow Much as that snapshot Of the leaves I framed I think it is a new lamp Which looks to be ideal For reading and writing I will confirm this tomorrow 
12
Over The Walls Seven in the congregation (Including moi) Eight monks, plus the organist We could have A one on one communion Except a man with dark glasses joins us The old stooped monk is not present And the one new to my sight is bald In the way I imagine cancer patients are Besides the baldness There is an awful lot of silvery grey On parade in the choir stalls With six men and two women here I wonder does man have more to fear Or worry about than woman Or are the ladies home cooking tea The roof has nine crossed curved arches Plus ten straight-across curved ones But that is only in the knave For sure there will be more elsewhere Is the lectern in the style Of an eagle or an angel, and do they know That Donald Trump is in the country 
13
Logarithmic Rise And Fall I sit quietly Wait for the light to fade I am in no hurry My days work is done The rest is playtime I am settled More so than expected No anxiety In visiting these parts As there was in the past That though could all be transitory For tomorrow I venture closer To the centre of the fault line Nearer to the focal point Of that previous universe I know I should not worry What isn’t already forgotten Is ever more certain to disappear In the fullness of time In the singleness of time 
14
Latecomer Are my words blasphemous Or simply observations With a sideways swipe At the sadness of it all I am writing of letting go Whilst these rascals Are surely simply hanging on It is not on is it To turn up at the very end That doesn’t count as attendance In anybody’s book And certainly not in mine
15
Curfew This room Could easily have A three-quarter Or double-bed I could happily invite you two To stay the night To make a right mess Of my settled phase of life Of course I shouldn’t invite you For way too many rules Would be broken in the process But wouldn’t it just be fun I doubt it would even work again To ask you out on a date Even with the men in black As my supporting act So that’s that then Leave things as they are Don’t disturb the peace Don’t be made a scapegoat
16
Robust Me and one other And no monks at all But it is early Still five minutes to go Though If this was football One wouldn’t expect a big crowd Even under floodlights The bells ring The monks arrive Including the one Who I thought to be not very well My impatience goes before me The monks are reaching ten But still no one else In the congregation And it is now straight up eight pm The official starting time for Compline We kick off (pardon the pun) A few seconds late This time we are easily outnumbered And are no match for the men in gowns Do not give the devil this opportunity Is the message from the pulpit Which could have been Bill Shankly’s Very words of encouragement
17
To Robert And Maxim I was going to look on the computer To see what poems Went into last years Abbey collection Did I have another book Besides hanging on and letting go Did I interweave the poems Or make the book with two sections Still I seek you out Still I find some purpose In turning up your image Still I hang on Still I let go With no certainty of achieving either Yes there is more of a peace Than when there was Less of a peace Yes there is more of a me Than there is A reflection of someone other Now isn’t the time though Or maybe Now is exactly the time Yes now could be the very moment For all that I see in front of me To finally make an appearance 
18
But For One 06:30 for Matins The monks sat in between The choir stalls Only me in the congregation I don’t have my watch So don’t know the time Are the chairs placed To form a circle A way for the monks To protect each other The brilliant bright morning light Shines through Penetrates the stain glass windows It is magnificent Even with my reactolite glasses It would be good to have you beside me To hold onto my hand There is a natural light to this morning Which relieves the need For any artificial illumination I would like to take a photograph In the chapel right now Be on your guard against false gods
19
Still, After All Those Years To stay over For the sake of staying over Seems a crazy thing to do Yet if I should ask you Or you should ask me To stay over For the sake of staying over Then all of a sudden The craziness would be gone If I should stay over And for certain Nothing is certain But If I should stay over Would it be For the sake of staying over Or because I was crazy over you Or that you had said You were crazy over me 
20
Trust Without Trust It feels good to be alive this morning Though on reflection I think that the millennium garden Has way too much abundance It is as if the overflow of enthusiasm Has carried off or overwhelmed The entrusted spirits of calm It is the beauty of peace which I rise for Beauty which gifted me love and energy I hope I am sufficiently thankful From one degree of glory to another Only just in time for Lauds We are invited into the choir stalls But I choose to stay where I am Change doesn’t come too easy you see One of the monks is yawning As I drop my pen top on the floor I won’t go to breakfast For I have my shoulder bag with me And I’m not allowed to take that Into the prayer filled dining room
21
He Remembered All of which leaves me undecided Unable to hatch a plan With joy I was once provided With the semaphore and the scan I went forwards Quite a way Then I stooped and reversed To let another pass All that I can see Is straight in front of me Sang Robert and wrote Maxim And heaven knows who else I had in mind Slapton Sands For no other reason than hearing Joe Strummer sing Of Omaha Beach But oh just to be In the silence and the sunlight Oh but to see How it all works out 
22
Do Not Disturb Instead I am going To take photographs in the chapel In the wondrous morning light Before anyone else arrives I still haven’t remembered my watch But I feel like a spring lamb I am fully energised Another rule broken There was someone in the chapel So I had to join the monks for breakfast Complete with my shoulder bag Then my first lovely jubbly of the day Courtesy of the waitress In the cafeteria 
23
Metered I paid to park all day But you You were nowhere to be found I walked East And West Past all the old places And some rather new I looked among The countless faces But you You were not around I walked North And South Into those secluded alleyways Of oh so long ago I remembered something Yes I thought of traces But you You had gone to ground I paid to park all day But I won’t do that tomorrow 
24
Pressure Off I am fond of doing nothing It comes to me with ease There is nothing better than doing nothing Except that is the temptation to tease So smile for me this morning And smile again As you hand me your Italian scarf Yes smile as you toss over your scarf I am fond of doing nothing Or doing exactly as we please There is nothing better than doing nothing Other than finding bedlinen to crease So sneeze for me this evening And sneeze again As you hand me your Sicilian overcoat Sneeze as you unbutton your overcoat I am fond of doing nothing Or feeling the presence of lust’s disdain There is nothing better than doing nothing Besides finding emotions to feign 
25
Intangible Apparition You have gone Gone a little further A little more is lost Each time I visit But it is not torture More it is revelation A celebration Although I celebrate With thoughts With words By reaching into Those deeper emotions Of love Of compassion Of fear Of hope I have lost you Yet I hang on I hang on Resolutely To life To living To memories To magical spiritual moments 
26
Conspicuously Inconspicuous A better turn out tonight Ten in the congregation Seven of them women And nine monks Including the big one Who I have not seen For such a long time I am warm with the sun I am warm with the passions One of the brothers is yawning Which sends a message For the big one to sing Or to concentrate Where has he been Where have I been Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah The big man fiddles with his book Either he has lost his place Or he had never found it Now he sings from memory The new man didn’t face the front So soon as all the others One black mark then already 
27
Tipping Points There are no tears But there could be Tears of joy Tears of loss Tears of confusion Measure by measure To live the life of love For she is not through I hope to visit you So that our joy May be complete I feel my skin I hold my own hand I breathe my breath I am thankful To have met you It was a benediction Yet the questions carry on To purify oneself To purge oneself To cleanse oneself To love oneself World without end 
28
Sums Compline at Eight PM Not so many tonight Only three in the congregation Would there be more at Nine PM Or would there be less What is the purpose of the time shift 06:30 for Matins My last morning in the calm Though not so quiet What with the wind Howling around Outside of the Abbey The big man so it seems Is not a morning man Oh but how wrong I am For here he comes How swift I am to judge What else but to be alive What more might one want Than to be the more person To become the full person Where I have been with love I have carried love Where I have carried love I have been with love 
29
Conclude A manifestation of what is What is within Those being-born-again walls Of this body More walls than any room Or any palace More memories to the ounce Than any senses Don’t count the hours Or the days But listen to the stories Being baptised by your breath One gift of perfect hope Mutual enjoyment of the gift It is to your advantage If I go away There was beauty in the reading From the sensations to the soul From the fully realised To the entirely unrealisable 
30
Abbey Poems (2019)
A Coastmoor Publication