Old Events Report

Walkers, the return leg was similar but took in the Steeple Bumpstead Road, just as we were coming into Finchingfield Gary had to take pretty severe action to stop in time to miss a deer, it was followed across the road by at least 30 of its close relatives, it was genuinely ascary/thrilling sight. A second later we would have beenright in the middle ofthem.” One minor incident he failed to mention was that Sue Saunders had an ‘off’. Despite the recently established grand old social ride tradition of falling off your bike when travelling in a straight line, this was on a right-hander when turning into the low afternoon sun so blinded her that she hit the verge. Happily neither Sue nor the bike sustained any irreparable damage. This is a very unsatisfactory thing for a writer of event reports, and I feel this is how the incident shouldhave been:-

… By the final stages of the run as they approached the infamous chicane the pack was led, as usual, by the lovely Zoe Zaunders; instantly recognisable in the tight scarlet leathers which left few details of her lithe body to the imagination. Alas, danger lurked round one of the bends. Hidden from view an overturned petrol tanker was leaking its deadly load onto the road. Zoe’s lightning reactions enabled her to flick the bike through the tiny gap between tanker and bank (no mean feat at triple-digit speeds) but the fuel covered road then offered no grip, and only a superbly executed eighty degree lateral drift enabled her to bring the bike to a standstill. Unfortunately a spark from her titanium elbow sliders triggered a massive fuel-air explosion. As the initial fireball rose up towards the heavens Zoe could be seen through the flames raising her beloved race replica Honda above her head to cast it into the waterlogged ditch, and then leaping over to ensure

it would be safe. Only then did she think to extinguish the fires which consumed her by thrusting her burning body against the moist earth. …

Back to reality. The final run before the TUG deadline was on Sunday 13 th January. Richard Parker had a ride to Capel St Mary. Seventy miles out and fifty back to finish at the Boreham McDonalds. There was no rain, but the roads out were very slippery and dirty. They were beginning to dry out for the return journey. There were twenty bikes participating, with a sizeable proportion of them CB500’s determined to make progress. The important thing to do when you see one behind you is to pull over to the nearside and let it past as soon as possible. They get desperate if thwarted. Richard had judged the route well for the conditions, and I managed to get back home when it was still light enough to hose down the bike, which had turned an interesting grey colour. It must have been much worse for Paul ‘Spotless’ Steggles, who has started complaining that his life resembles Groundhog Day.

Paul Steggles and Gary Crane