J O B U R G ’ S
b e s t
gu i d e
f o r
p a r e n t s
careers of the future what will your child become?
good night
discover the secrets to healthy sleep
burned-out parents
are you taking on too much?
www.childmag.co.za
November 2015
free
health
investing in the best toys for your child
education
entertainment
Our November issue is all about exploring the modern playground. Scientists believe that our need to connect with others is as fundamental as our need for food and water. In this modern internet age, connectivity is a double-edged sword. It’s possible, like no other time in human history, to have multiple digital connections with family, friends and complete strangers, but our shiny gadgets are not necessarily fostering the deep and meaningful social connections we crave. This gives great cause to encourage our children to play together, just as we did in an age without personal computers and smartphones. However, we shouldn’t prevent them from enjoying the mind-blowing benefits of technological advances. As you’ll read in “when I grow up…” (page 14), the future is science fiction becomes reality. It’s simply important to help our children strike a balance. So, we hope you’ll enjoy our guide for toys that will help your child develop essential skills (page 27). Also, take a look at our book section for some wonderful reads (page 30). There’s a whole lot more to enjoy in our November “tech & toy” issue, from great ideas for teacher gifts (page 20) to practical ways to create the best sleep environment for your child (page 8). Keep nurturing that beautiful, lifelong connection with your children.
Lisa Mc Namara Publisher
Hunter House P U B L I S H IN G
Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway
Art Designers Candice Acheson • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Louise Topping • studio@childmag.co.za
Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
Client Relations PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani
Yvette Dreyer-Ferreira • jhbsales@childmag.co.za
Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za
Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680
Child magazine Online
childmag.co.za Online Content Manager Marc de Chazal • online@childmag.co.za
childmag.co.za
ChildMag
childmagazine
South Africa’s best guide for parents
to advertise Tel: 011 807 6449 • Fax: 011 234 4971 Email: jhbsales@childmag.co.za Website: childmag.co.za
monthly circulation Joburg’s Child magazineTM Cape Town’s Child magazineTM Durban’s Child magazineTM Pretoria’s Child magazineTM
55 47 40 40
390 800 274 228
Joburg’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 5, First Floor, Bentley Office Park, cnr Rivonia and Wessel Rd, Rivonia. Tel: 011 807 6449, fax: 011 234 4971, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Joburg’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.
Free requested Jul 15 - Sep 15
magazine joburg
November 2015
3
contents
november 2015
14 when i grow up...
regulars
3 a note from lisa 6 over to you readers respond
features
10 pregnancy news – her body, my baby Marina Zietsman looks at surrogacy, what the
14 when i grow up... what will the future job market look like for our children? Jocelyn Warrington finds out
18 the prison of perfectionism we want our children to excel in life, but beware of setting the goal posts too high. By Megan Hjelm
law says and points out the benefits
12 best for baby – see how they grow Anél Lewis finds out how percentiles and growth charts work
27 resource – toy time 20 gifts that count it’s that time of year again. Anél Lewis asks teachers which gifts they really appreciate
22 to burned-out parent, with love we spend all our time and energy on our children, but what about our own well-being? Lucille Kemp looks for answers
Child magazine compiles a list of toys and activities that can assist your child’s development at all ages
30 a good read for the whole family 32 what’s on in november 43 next month in child magazine
24 simply salad we give you a few seafood-inspired summer salads to try at home from All Sorts of Salads by Chantal Lascaris
health
46 finishing touch Anél Lewis has decided to bring some silliness back into her home
classified ads
8 beautiful sleep creating a relaxing and hygienic sleep environment is important for a good night’s rest, says Marina Zietsman
44 it’s party time 45 family marketplace
this month’s cover images are supplied by shutterstock.com Joburg
4
November 2015
Cape Town
Pretoria
Durban
magazine joburg
magazine joburg
November 2015
5
letters
bullying: no laughing matter In response to the article “bully-proofing your child” (October 2015): my daughter is 11 years old and was emotionally bullied at her previous school. After numerous attempts to assist her in bettering the situation, we decided to move her and her brother to another school. The new school made a huge difference at first, but in the second term a new bully appeared. This time, a physical bully. My daughter is a strongly-built girl and she has a lot of confidence. She is very considerate of others and always gets compliments from the teachers as well as the parents. The bully is an adopted child who, for obvious and understandable reasons, struggles to share and cannot handle it when my daughter gets attention from friends and teachers. My daughter is very softhearted and cannot see another child in pain and therefore struggles to stand up for herself. She now has to wear a foot guard when she plays sport because the bully jumped on her ankle when she made a sports team. She also comes home at least once a week with scratch marks on her arms and bruises on her legs.
After always guiding her to handle situations in a civil manner, it has now reached the point where I’ve told her that if this child hurts her again, I give her the right to hurt her back. My daughter is not the only one being bullied by this child. She and a few friends have spoken to a teacher, but they were told that they need to remember that the child has been through a lot and that she is adopted. One of the parents has even gone in to see the principal who said they would find a way to sort it out, yet the same child is still bullying our children. I feel horrible for telling my child to stand up for herself in the same way that the child is treating them, but she asked me not to take on the mother of the bully, so I feel like this was the last resort. How can we manage this situation? I really don’t want to move my children again. Anonymous Response from Gail Dore, a life-skills trainer, family counsellor and author of Bully-Proof (Struik Lifestyle): Bullying is a phenomenon of human behaviour that occurs in every school. While your role as a parent is
over to you I read the article on bully-proofing your child, and some excellent points were made. Then I got to the part suggesting that a child who is relentlessly targeted by a bully “should move schools’’. What a message from the school! To the one doing the bullying and his or her parents: we’ll make the problem go away, and to the child and his or her parents on the receiving end: well, tough luck! There’s nothing we can do, we’re too weak and so you must go somewhere else, start at a new school (with all the disruption, anxiety, cost and inconvenience that goes with it). That is outrageous. I understand that legal steps are expensive and difficult, and I appreciate why, but if a head teacher has so little control over what happens to the children under his or her care, then that is a real indictment. When I was at school, there was a case of very nasty bullying and the headmaster simply listened to both sets of pupils and their parents individually, then called in the perpetrators and their parents and stated that they would no longer be doing it. The end. No further discussion, no arguing, just a simple “this is unacceptable, it ends right this moment”, and so it did. What happened to strong leadership? Caroline Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine
6
November 2015
to support your child and help her find techniques that she can use to put a stop to it herself, when it comes to physical bullying it is important that you step in and take action right away. The South African Constitution enshrines the rights of the child to an education and to be safe and secure at school. Being bullied violates this right and the law obliges schools to take action when they receive reports of bullying incidents. A formal, written complaint to the principal, which you can hand over during a face-to-face meeting, is a good start. If the school fails to address the bullying within a reasonable period of time, consider escalating your complaint to your local Department of Education. One may be empathetic to the background of the bully in this case, but that doesn’t mean that her behaviour should be allowed to continue unsanctioned. This kind of aggression can quickly become a habit that can have serious implications in the future. For victims of bullying, “fighting back” is not a good idea but “standing your ground” and being assertive, is. Childmag says Read the article “bully-proofing your child” online: childmag.co.za/content/bullyproofing-your-child
Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.
taming toddlers
celebrating uniqueness
We get Child mag from my two-year-old son, Daniel’s, school every month and we truly enjoy reading it. The article on tantrums (“why is my child so angry?”, October 2015) was perfectly timed as we have recently experienced a few minor meltdowns, ending face flat on the floor in shopping centre aisles. But, we have enforced constructive and positive actions with lots of quality time with Daniel, trying to understand him better and work on what’s frustrating him and we have seen a complete change in behaviour, from total unpredictability to a cooperative, helpful, calm toddler. Vicky
Thanks for your awesome magazine. I love the October issue that is all about “dealing with difference”. As a parent of an ADHD child and a teacher of many over the years, it spoke to my heart. In the end, it’s about me trying to find the key for each individual, and celebrating the individuality instead of trying to fit stars into boxes. And yes, the focus should be on being happy parents and teachers first, as the children are so in tune with that sense of contentment. In fact, all children are so unique. After 25 years of teaching, I can still say I’ve never taught the same child twice. There is no formula for a “type” of child. Lucy Buhr
talking adoption
thank you
My adopted children are 41 and 37 years old and I have been open about their adoption from the day they were born. Friends, family and their school knew. My children had no hang-ups and today are hard-working and wonderful parents with two sons each. My daughter met up with her mother and siblings after she turned 18 and has a good relationship with them. Our relationship has not changed because of this and I have even met up with her biological mother and family. Please do not wait to tell your child the truth. Henriette Stoddard
Our event, The Blooming Affair [published in the Child magazine October 2015 calendar], was very successful, and I think it had a lot to do with the coverage from your magazine. Khanya Warren subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za
We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.
Post a comment online at childmag.co.za
magazine joburg
magazine joburg
November 2015
7
health
sleep
Getting a good night’s sleep helps you stay healthy and alert. MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at certain factors that can interfere with you getting
y
proper shuteye.
our bedroom is your sanctuary from the stresses of the day, and creating the best environment for sleep is crucial. The goal of a mattress is to allow you to lie still for a peaceful night’s sleep on your side, back or stomach. The most vital issues when shopping for a mattress are support and comfort. While it is important that a mattress provides an adequate level of support for the spine, personal preference and comfort level is crucial when selecting one. Choose organic, nontoxic hygienic materials as a mattress filler, or opt for a latex mattress. Avoid mattresses with springs and coils. These act as an incubator for mildew, mould and dust, as the area is damp and dark. To protect pillows and
8
November 2015
cover it up Dust mites are a common trigger for allergies, and they can often be found living in your bedding. Replace old bedding with hypoallergenic alternatives. These are resistant to saliva and sweat, and are composed of natural fibres that can be washed at high temperatures and are chemical free. Gaynor Walkey, who launched a family-owned pillow, duvet and linen manufacturing company in Cape Town in 1995, believes in the durability, practicality and value of cotton. “Cotton breathes, which regulates the body temperature. Cotton also lasts longer, and can fit into any budget, depending on the thread count you prefer.” Certain fibre fills used in duvets and pillows also make a good home for dust mites and other allergens. Fillers that are eco-friendly as well as hypoallergenic include natural fibres such as kapok fillers, wool that is organically farmed and natural latex. Steer clear of synthetics, particularly polyester fibre and polyurethane foam. Replace your pillows every two to three years as 10% of a two-year-old pillow’s weight is made up of skin scales, mould, dead and living dust mites and their allergen-laden faeces. Walkey says before you buy any bedding, make sure it can be washed and sterilised. “Even pillows and duvets must be cleaned, and ideally you should be able to pop these into the washing machine.”
have a good night The Sleep Council in the UK recommends the following: • Go to bed and get up at roughly the same time, all the time, which will programme your body to sleep better. • Create a restful sleeping environment. • Make sure your bed is comfortable. • Do more exercise. • Cut down on stimulants such as caffeine in tea or coffee. • Don’t over-indulge. • Don’t smoke. • Try to relax before going to bed. • If you can’t sleep, get up and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy again.
how much sleep per day is enough? Newborns (0–3 months): 14–17 hours Infants (4–11 months): 12–15 hours Toddlers (1–2 years): 11–14 hours Preschoolers (3–5 years): 10–13 hours School-age children (6–13 years): 9–11 hours Teenagers (14–17 years): 8–10 hours Young adults (18–25 years): 7–9 hours Adults (26–64 years): 7–9 hours Older adults (65+ years): 7–8 hours Source: US National Sleep Foundation
magazine joburg
ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
beautiful
mattresses, encase them in protectors or slip covers. These will keep allergens at bay while shielding bedding from bed wetting, spillages, sweating, skin scales, and hair and body oils, which can soak into the filling. Choose woven fabrics that are tightly constructed so dust mites cannot wiggle their way through the fabric. The pore size of the cover must be less than 10 microns, which is the size of an average dust mite. And, replace your mattress every eight to 10 years.
magazine joburg
November 2015
9
pregnancy news
her body, my baby Starting a family is a wonderful journey, but for many couples unable to conceive, it’s a frustrating, emotional roller-coaster ride. Could surrogacy be the solution? MARINA ZIETSMAN finds out how the process works.
n
icole Kidman followed the surrogacy route, as did Sarah Jessica Parker, Angela Bassett and Neil Patrick Harris. But surrogacy is not a “glamorous” choice; it’s medically motivated. Dr Sascha Edelstein, a fertility specialist, gynaecologist and obstetrician based in Cape Town, explains who can apply for surrogacy. “The intended mother may have been born without a uterus, may have an abnormal uterus [damaged due to illness or other factors] that cannot carry a pregnancy, or she may have had a hysterectomy,” says Edelstein. “The mom may also have a serious medical condition that could be exacerbated by pregnancy or cause risk to the fetus, such as a cardiac condition, in which case the pregnancy also places too much physiological burden on the mom,” Edelstein adds. Biological inability to conceive a child, such as same-sex male couples, could also lead to surrogacy, as well as in cases where recurrent pregnancy loss has occurred or where there has been recurrent failure of multiple IVF procedures despite the transfer of good-quality embryos. Surrogacy is a complex option, which involves fertility specialists, lawyers, psychologists and contracts. As Tertia Albertyn, co-founder of a surrogacy advisory group in Cape Town, puts it: “You can’t choose surrogacy because you feel like it, or because you are ‘too posh to push’.”
It’s a powerful gift to be able to give a child to an infertile couple. There are two types of surrogacy: the seldom-used, outdated traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate herself provides the eggs and undergoes artificial insemination, or IVF with sperm from the would-be dad or from a sperm donor. The surrogate is therefore genetically related to the child. Nowadays gestational surrogacy is the preferred option, where the commissioning parents provide the egg and sperm, or if the parents-to-be are unable to produce eggs or sperm, donors are used. In South Africa altruistic surrogacy is the legal option, which means a surrogate receives no financial gain for carrying a child. The intended parents cover only realistic expenses directly related to the pregnancy, such as medical costs, lawyers’ fees and costs for counselling. Altruistic surrogacy can use either a traditional or gestational surrogate.
what the law says Before any treatments or procedures start, the high court will demand a medical certificate from a registered healthcare practitioner stating that you are medically unable to carry a baby. “Surrogacy in South Africa is very well regulated and managed,” says Albertyn. “Most fertility clinics and surrogacy advisory groups or agencies will only work with gestational surrogacy, which makes it almost impossible to find loopholes in the law, and fertility clinics will not treat anyone for surrogacy without a high court order,” Albertyn adds.
10
November 2015
magazine joburg
PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
the choices
In April 2010, the new Children’s Act changed the surrogacy process in many ways. This act was put in place to protect the rights of all parties involved in the surrogacy agreement, including the child. The most important regulations that affect commissioning parents is that the surrogate mother can’t use her position as a source of income or for commercial purposes; the commissioning parents have to provide the surrogate with a medical aid and a life policy that will cover her during the surrogacy, and usually for up to three months following the birth; the surrogate will have no rights to the child after birth; and the commissioning parents’ names will be entered directly onto the birth certificate after the birth; there is no longer a need for adoption. “Every single surrogacy arrangement needs to have a contract drafted between the parties and this contract or agreement needs to be approved by the high court,” says Albertyn. “So an important person in the surrogacy arrangement is the surrogacy attorney. The other parties involved include the fertility specialist and the psychologist who will assess the surrogate and intended parents and submit the report as part of the high court application.” So, surrogacy is legally and medically possible, but it is not always easily accessible. Being a surrogate mother is an emotionally and physically demanding task, and choosing a surrogate is not simply done by asking for a favour via email. Albertyn says that because of the strict laws regulating surrogacy and ensuring that it cannot be done for commercial gain, there are few women who are willing or able to be a surrogate. But there are women out there who unconditionally want to help childless couples start a family. The best route to follow is through an agency, where you can choose a surrogate, and get advice and support around the legal and psychological issues that are part of this journey.
my story Robynne Friedman, a lawyer with a special interest in surrogacy, is a mother of a surrogate-born baby. After many failed IVFs, 10 years of infertility treatment and three surrogacy cycles, Robynne was eventually blessed with her special baby. “I was desperate to become a mother,” says Robynne, “and the unsuccessful infertility treatments I went through were extremely distressing for my husband and me. I had been diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease and pregnancy posed a danger to my health. Surrogacy was the answer as I could still have a child related to either myself or my husband, knowing my child would be carried in a ‘safe tummy’.” Robynne admits there were conflicting emotions after making the big decision. “My biggest issue was trust. Could I trust this person to look after this pregnancy as well as I would have?” In the end, she was just grateful. “I had no concerns of any post-delivery issues with the surrogate, as the child was mine. I knew that I would always have an immense amount of gratitude to this surrogate for giving us the gift of a child – it’s a powerful gift to be able to give a child to an infertile couple. I think of my surrogate most days with such appreciation.” Regardless of the time, cost and other factors involved in surrogacy, Robynne says the pros of choosing surrogacy far outweigh the cons. “One needs to go through the process knowing that there is a bigger picture – the birth of your child. Surrogacy can be a roller-coaster ride; the biggest hurdle to overcome is getting your surrogate pregnant,” says Robynne. “There is a misconception that surrogates fall pregnant the first time. It could take several attempts at IVF before you have a positive result.” Robynne says if everything is done properly and legally, the risks are considerably minimised. “Surrogacy is an easier process than adoption, as one is much more in control of the pregnancy and you are part of the journey, which facilitates the bonding to your child in utero. It can be a beautiful, wonderful experience where a third person is able to facilitate a miracle-in-the-making for you.”
are you surrogate material? Potential surrogates are women between the ages of 21 and 42 who have had a previous successful pregnancy and a healthy birth. You also need to be mentally and physically healthy. Visit surrogacy.co.za
magazine joburg
November 2015
11
best for baby
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to babies, but height and weight charts will help you track your baby’s development. ANÉL LEWIS finds out more about the percentiles and charts that track this growth.
k
nowing how much your baby weighs is a simple yet accurate measure of gauging whether your baby is getting enough food to grow, says Cape Town-based paediatrician Dr Mike Greeff. But it’s not just a matter of grams and centimetres. The internationally standardised growth chart used by your paediatrician or clinic sister to plot your baby’s growth will also tell you how your child’s development compares to others. It charts a
12
November 2015
the plot The Department of Health issues all newborns with a “Road to Health” booklet that includes weight-for-age and weight-for-length charts for boys and girls. The charts are gender-specific as boys and girls gain weight at different rates; boys lean towards being heavier than girls. The growth chart is divided into percentiles that measure a baby’s growth patterns ranging from zero to 100%. Dr Greeff explains that a child on the 50th percentile for height is taller than 50% of other children the same age. Weight is plotted using the same percentiles, so a child on the 50th percentile in this category would be heavier than 50% of his peers. Dr Greeff says children should ideally have proportionate percentile scores and if there are any problems with a baby’s food intake, the weight score will be affected first. The chart has four curves, with the 50th percentile considered the average. The top curve is the 97th percentile and the curve below the 50th percentile is the third percentile. Children measuring below the fourth and lowest curve would be severely underweight. Most children will fall between the 97th and third percentiles.
a rough guide A normal birth weight is about 3kg. The Association for Dietetics in South Africa notes that there is some weight
loss in the first week, but your baby should reach birth weight again within 14 days. Thereafter, a baby born at full term should double its birth weight at the four-month mark, and then triple it by 12 months. A child’s length at 12 months should be 1,5 times the birth weight. The head circumference is measured to ensure that your baby’s brain is growing and developing normally. An average head circumference for a baby born at term and in the 50th percentile is about 34 centimetres.
growth factors While the percentiles and graphs may be confusing, the consensus from medical practitioners is to not fixate on the number. The charts should rather be used to gauge trends or the rate of growth, and to pick up any problems such as a drop in weight or an unexpected growth surge. Growth may be affected by various factors including gestational age, birth weight, whether you are breastfeeding or using formula, the parents’ stature, nutrition, chronic illness or special healthcare needs.
keeping track online • Paediatric calculator – a growth calculator for birth to five years old • Baby Growth Chart – allows you to monitor up to 10 children at once • Kids measure – an iPhone app that allows you to compare your child’s growth to the World Health Organisation’s charts • WHO Growth Charts for Babies, Infants and Children – compatible with Apple iOS7 or later
magazine joburg
ILLUSTRATION: shutterstock.com
see how they grow
child’s weight and length, as well as the circumference of the head. While an important guide for your baby’s growth, the growth chart is just one of the tools that can be used to measure your child’s development. A child’s height, weight and head circumference should be checked and noted on a growth chart 11 times by the age of two.
magazine joburg
November 2015
13
s
ixty percent of the best jobs in the next 10 years haven’t even been invented yet. At least that’s what world-renowned American futurist Dr Thomas Frey is fond of saying. The world will be a very different place when our children enter the job market. Where does one possibly begin, then, when it comes to steering them down a stable, yet enjoyable, career path? “The idea of the traditional job is fast changing as we increasingly have access to the whole world via the internet,” says Andy Hadfield, tech entrepreneur and CEO of Forgood, an online platform that connects passionate people with needy organisations. According to Hadfield, it will become impossible to pigeonhole the roles of the employees of tomorrow. “The companies of today are structured to find Mr Know-it-all – that one specialist, the expert who knows all there is in his field,” he explains. “But the next generation of careers will not be about knowing it all. Instead, companies will be looking for Mr Find-it-all – that employee who has the utility and aptitude to apply himself to finding the answers.” Specialists, says Hadfield, are a dying breed. “Already we’re seeing employees being expected to perform beyond their
14
November 2015
when i grow up... With our hyper-connected world moving a mile a minute, the tried-and-true professions that we pursue today could quickly become a thing of the past. How do we career-proof our children to ensure they don’t get blindsided by the future? By JOCELYN WARRINGTON allocated stations. Even interns, these days, are thrust out in front of the client. In short, employer expectation levels are rising and will only continue to do so. In a world of dogmatic specialists, it is the generalist who will end up running the show,” he says.
the future is wired Despite a consensus that Jack-of-all-trades will rule the world, there are certain industries
that will offer strong job opportunities in the future. “The future is being written right now by a wave of exponential technologies. The big opportunities for 2030 and beyond lie in these fields,” says futurist Neil Jacobsohn, senior partner at FutureWorld International, a global business and technology think tank. According to Jacobsohn, data is the new gold. “Data analytics will be huge and the new ‘hierarchy of needs’ will be defined as DIKW – turning Data into Information
into Knowledge and, ultimately, into Wisdom,” he says, adding, “While data will become increasingly valuable, it will only do so when it becomes meaningful.” Intrinsically linked to the growth in data analytics will be robots in various shapes and sizes, and much smarter computers, doing the majority of tasks on our planet, claims Jacobsohn. “Robots are already heavily employed in manufacturing, but in future these will become increasingly intelligent, and will be able to learn and perform new tasks,” he maintains. “Artificial intelligence (AI) is a major science being studied by vast numbers of organisations, including Google, Amazon and the like. American computer scientist, inventor and futurist Ray Kurzweil, the leading proponent of AI, postulates that ‘the singularity is near’ – that moment when machines become more intelligent than human beings. Many are worried about the prospect, including leading lights like Elon Musk, Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking. But others believe that AI will free humanity from endless drone-like tasks and make life immeasurably better.” New-age manufacturing, says Jacobsohn, is another field with future career potential: “Techniques such as 3-D
magazine joburg
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
your child’s life
printing and even 4-D printing (implanting ‘intelligence’ into materials so that they can ‘self-form’) will replace labour-intensive ‘dirty’ manufacturing techniques. Airbus has the ambition to 3-D print an entire jet aircraft by 2050. We’ve only just begun to radicalise how we make things.” However, Jacobsohn points out that, while 3-D printing will recreate manufacturing, there will still be a need to move “things”, be it foodstuff or products manufactured in local print shops. “And people will need to move themselves. Newworld logistics and transport will be key fields,” he asserts. “Autonomous vehicles and high-tech mass transit systems are opportunities of tomorrow.” Underpinning all of these is the need for infrastructure: the computing hardware and software that is driving this revolution. “Computing will change as concepts like neural processing become a reality, but there will still be a strong demand for the devices on which computing happens, and the software that drives it. That implies a need for the rare earth minerals required to make computing happen,” says Jacobsohn. And because we’re facing a future in which “energy will be reinvented”, if you’re
magazine joburg
Encourage your children to recognise that maths is a life skill. And to avoid work that is easily replicated by machines. in coal mining, start planning your exit now, he advises. “We have just reached the point where the world is adding more energy capacity through energy forms other than oil, natural gas and coal put together. China has announced massive plans to invest in solar and wind power and every motor manufacturer in the world is working on electric vehicles. The tipping point has been reached, and investment into new, alternative forms of energy is
soaring. A future of clean, plentiful and cheap energy beckons. But first we have to break the destructive stranglehold of the existing energy giants.” Finally, Jacobsohn explains how learning itself will be redefined: “In 2015, tens of millions of people in every corner of the world are studying at the best universities on earth – Yale, Harvard – free of charge, through the thousands of MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses). By 2030,
education will become a constant. We will learn new things every day, through easy access and advanced memory-stimulation techniques. Why? Because we will have so much more time on our hands.”
survival skills In a technology-driven world, maths and science skills will shoot people to the top of the employment ladder, predicts Jacobsohn, who is, nevertheless,
November 2015
15
your child’s life
quick to point out that “at the same time, there will be a need for hard-core engineering skills.” But parallel to the importance of numeracy, there will also be an increasing requirement for “humaneness”, he says. “Financial institutions will employ artists and designers to create services that are ‘human friendly’. Architecture and product design will focus on usability and workability. Music has become a core part of life as connectivity has put it within everyone’s reach. And health will be a field of opportunity, as we live longer and demand more from our lives.” According to Hadfield, less tangible skills, such as focus and commitment, will give the employees of tomorrow a competitive edge. “In a world where we are constantly bombarded by every imaginable kind of stimuli, it is easy to get distracted. Those who can maintain a singularity of purpose – in short, who can get things done – will have a decided advantage over their more easily sidetracked colleagues,” he says. Hadfield’s number-one piece of advice to parents is, “Teach your children about the dangers of job hopping. As Nqobile
16
November 2015
Dlamini, the head of Corporate Citizenship at Microsoft SA, put it: ‘Don’t quit when your job gets hard, quit when it gets easy.’ We see it already in today’s workplace – the gen-Xers who are hiring millennials complain of the impossibility of finding an employee under the age of 28 who has been in the same job for more than two years. Not only is flitting from one position to another potentially very destructive to your career, but the reality is that you don’t learn if you don’t stick around.” And Jacobsohn’s advice: “Encourage your children to recognise that maths is a life skill. And to avoid work that is easily replicated by machines – jobs as drivers or labourers will eventually become redundant. Teach children to explore their minds and the world around them. Read to them when they are young; engender a love of knowledge and curiosity. Explore the internet with them – there is a world of fascination out there. Encourage their interests in experimentation and new ideas, and be prepared to have them challenge you and your thinking. Be open to discussion and debate – make dinner times about an exchange of ideas. And, above all, have fun.”
jobs of the future According to futurist Neil Jacobsohn, here are nine new jobs that will likely be available in 2030: • Personal profile manager People will employ specialists to “groom” their online profiles for improved personal and business interactions. • Personalised medical providers Medicine will be personal, with drugs created just for you, to match your personal profile and requirements. • Vertical farmers Urban gardening and farming will happen inside buildings, to produce food right where it is needed. • Body-part manufacturers Already in 2015 scientists are printing prototype human kidneys and other organs. • Memory-augmentation specialists Right now we use only around 12% of our brains. Specialists will help us unlock much more in the future through all sorts of devices, drugs and techniques. • Climate assessors Climate change will continue to narrow humanity’s options, but special teams will be at work assessing and addressing climate problems as they arise. • Time managers The most rare and special commodity remains time. Experts will assess your life and advise on how to maximise it through technology. • Virtual entertainment and tour organisers Feel like climbing Kilimanjaro? You will be able to do so from your armchair through immersive virtual reality, or in real life (at a significant cost) through specialist tour organisers. • Virtual everything! Experts in any field you can imagine will be on hand to help you do whatever it is you need to do – virtually. This includes, of course, your electronic virtual personal organiser, which will be Siri x 1000 on steroids.
magazine joburg
magazine joburg
November 2015
17
parenting
the
prisonof
perfectionism
We naturally want our children to achieve greatness, but setting impossible goals can do more harm than good. MEGAN HJELM looks for ways to strike a balance.
it comes down to numbers Unfortunately, childhood and adolescence are punctuated by a series of numbers
18
November 2015
I’m dropped. So I must do more, practise again, go over my work one more time, try and eliminate all potential errors.”
making mistakes Making mistakes is critical to learning and growth. Avoidance of mistakes can lead to fear and paralysis. Mistakes may be messy, yet they can lead to greatness. Just look at babies learning to walk, Thomas Edison and the light bulb, Steve Jobs and Apple. But when you’re a perfectionist, mistakes can feel devastating and you may develop a fear of getting things wrong and getting into trouble. William Elliott, Cape Town-based psychologist and executive life coach, says: “Guide and correct mistakes, but encourage children to keep taking risks and make new mistakes that are part of learning.” Imagine the potential in a world where parents ask their children, not what they achieved or did today, but what mistakes they made. Imagine the unconditional acceptance that children would feel in their bones.
When you’re a perfectionist, mistakes can feel devastating and you may develop a fear of getting things wrong and getting into trouble. With every achievement, a perfectionist’s web of anxiety increases: the need, the drive, the fear of failure (or, more accurately, the fear of not being exceptional or excellent). A perfectionist’s self-talk goes something like this: “What will people think if I don’t get over 80% this year? Imagine if I didn’t make the netball A-team or the first swimming squad – it would be so embarrassing. I’ve been up there for three years; I feel that life will fall apart if
Elliott says: “It is vital to not link love and achievement in our parenting. Children should feel a constant, warm welcoming love that does not go up with achievement (and down with mistakes). Let them feel lovable all the time, for who they are, not for what they achieve. Otherwise external validation will slowly replace self-validation, leaving them dependent on success to feel worthwhile.”
We need to look clearly, in a spirit of warmth and compassion, at our own hooks. It is incredibly hard not to get sucked into the rosy glow of pride and vicarious living that our children’s achievements give us. I try so hard to keep balanced and I tell my daughters (and myself) that although I am delighted that they worked hard and were rewarded for this, their achievements don’t mean everything; what counts is the people they are inside. But, I have to admit that there is nothing like those tears that spring to your eyes when your child’s name is called out at prize-giving or you watch him score a try. Nothing like it.
self-confidence versus self-esteem Self-confidence (confidence in one’s own abilities and judgement) is definitely enhanced by achievements. However, selfesteem (feeling good about yourself) is often earned independently of achievements. When all else falls away, what is left of your sense of self when you don’t “succeed”? What is on the inside? Linda Bruce, author of Motherhood and Me (Oshun Books) and founder of learning programmes that develop and enhance young children’s emotional intelligence and social well-being, says: “By measuring ourselves externally, we’re setting ourselves up for a roller-coaster ride.” Linda believes that “self-esteem and self-worth are your birthright. You are all entitled to these qualities because of who you are, rather than because of what you’ve done or achieved.” So, how do we nurture self-esteem in our children? We can do this by being truly present for them, whatever that may mean: playing with them, cuddling, listening, switching off our cellphones. This will make them feel worthy and important. And, in this way, they learn about selfworth and self-love. magazine joburg
PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
a
perfectionist strives for flawlessness and judges his or her performance against exceptionally high standards. So what’s wrong with that? I’ve always been unwilling to give up my perfectionistic tendencies, because they represent excellence and have given me every achievement I’ve ever had. I used to mention that I was a perfectionist in job interviews, in answer to the question: “What is your weakness?” I knew it would impress a potential employer, no matter how miserable it made me. When you possess this characteristic, it makes you good at what you do. But, somehow, when you watch your child building her own prison of perfectionism – the one you didn’t notice you had built around yourself – you truly see the downside: the self-ensnaring trap of trying to be perfect and setting impossibly high standards.
to determine “success”. I think back to my early days of groggy parenthood and recall the smug moms who counted hours of unbroken sleep, percentile growth rates, words spoken – and the shame I felt whenever my babies didn’t measure up. When our children are a little older, they are plunged into a formal school system and everything they do gets a number: academic marks, eisteddfod performances, ranking of sports teams, placement in individual sports like crosscountry, numbers of goals scored, and – later – kilograms on a scale. All are chances to gather an accolade, a pat on the back. To parent a perfectionist in this world is a precarious balancing act. “In primary school I watched my daughter blossom before my eyes,” says Mary, 43, mother of two. “She hadn’t loved pre-school, all that playground politics. She shone when life became more structured and she loved achieving. I saw her becoming a real allrounder and my heart felt like it would burst with pride. Until she stopped sleeping.”
what about striving for excellence? I hear this argument often. How can you embrace mistakes? What about teaching your children to strive for excellence? How will they be successful later on in life without doing this? There is no denying the importance of discipline and hard work. But perhaps we need to probe our own views of success. Alain de Botton, writer and philosopher, asserted in his TED talk, “A kinder, gentler philosophy of success”, that we need to make sure our views of success are truly our own. When I was at school my vision of a successful career (definitely gleaned from the prevalent philosophies of the time) was
c
+
to choose something I was really good at. As an adult, after years of sleepless nights, I finally decided that my authentic vision of success was to do something I loved, that engaged and absorbed me. It turned out that some of the things I was good at, I didn’t love to do. I agree with Steve Jobs’ words to the graduating class of Stanford University in 2005: “And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
the real world We think we are setting up our children for the real world by emphasizing achievements. But is the real world really structured this way? In some ways, climbing the corporate ladder is like school and includes measures
like performance evaluations, money earned, promotions and titles received. But in many ways, some perfectionists flounder when they begin working and money, promotions and deals become their drug of choice. We must remember that there are so many non-traditional options in the working world nowadays, particularly in an entrepreneurial environment like South Africa. The real world of work often requires flexibility, innovation and creativity – qualities not always synonymous with perfectionism. Natalie Barker from the University of Gothenburg conducted a study about
parenting perfectionists • • • • • • • • •
magazine joburg
how elite athletes cope with the transition to the real world. She found that certain personal characteristics, like perseverance and organisational skills, helped the athlete to thrive in the real world. However, other characteristics, including perfectionism and hyper-competitiveness, had the opposite effect. An open-hearted awareness of our children’s tendencies and vulnerabilities – and our own – can lead to great change. As parents, an awareness of the pitfalls of perfectionism can be a great gift to our children.
Be present when you’re with them and nurture their self-esteem. Listen – there is nothing more healing than feeling understood. Honour their mistakes. Praise the hard work and the specifics instead of just the achievements. Encourage them to do what they love. Teach them to relax and live in the moment by having fun as a family. If you step outside your own comfort zone, this will teach them to step outside theirs. Probe your own definition of success. Be brave enough to let them fail. Be patient; they need to learn life lessons in their own time – you will be their safety net when they do fall.
November 2015
19
education
gifts that
count
After the long school year, it’s time to get your child’s teacher an appropriate and heartfelt gift. ANÉL LEWIS finds out what teachers really want, and what would get an “F” in their books.
what to give The tricky part is figuring out what to give, and who to include on your thank-you list. Do you give something to all the teachers, or just the class teacher? Once you’ve firmed up your recipient list and settled on a budget, you can start thinking about the ideal gift. And don’t leave it to the last minute. The end of the year has a nasty habit of sneaking up on one, and take it from me, the express garage shop does not have a lot of options that say “thank you for teaching Johnny how to read this year”. Bear in mind that your child’s teacher could be getting up to 30 gifts, depending on the size and generosity of the class. Nicole Masureik, a Cape Town-based high school teacher, gives personal gifts an A+. “Something that says the child or parent has thought about who you are as a person.” Nicole says there are some generic gifts, including wine, chocolate, flowers and gift vouchers that are perennial favourites with pedagogues. “Female teachers might love a voucher for a manicure, pedicure or back massage after all the marking,” she says, and ideas for male teachers include tickets to the rugby or cricket, or a CD. “However, the most important thing is to thank the teacher. Just because we are paid to teach doesn’t mean that our work should go unnoticed or without thanks.”
20
November 2015
what to avoid Unless you know your child’s Grade 3 teacher is mad about lavender or shea body butter, it’s probably wise to steer clear of the smelly bath stuff and candles. Nicole agrees that the candles, perfumes and home decor items are probably best left for teachers you know well. She’s not a fan of the “creams and bath stuff”, but says some of her colleagues are not averse to the odd bath salt ball. “At the end of the day though, I’d rather get something than nothing, because it shows they appreciate my effort.” But even the most magnanimous of teachers, with a penchant for long soaks in the tub, would find 17 wicker baskets filled with bath bombs a bit too much. Also, give aprons and T-shirts with “kiss the teacher” slogans a wide berth, especially if your child has siblings who would still have to come through the class. Those parent/teacher meetings will be decidedly awkward if your gift the year before was lingerie or a “teachers do it with class” mug.
handy gifts Valencia Dentlinger, who teaches in Namibia, has received dozens of craft baskets during her career. Most of these were passed on to her children when they were younger, and used to store their toys and other trinkets. Valencia, who now teaches Grade 12, says gifts from pupils at this stage are the exception rather than the norm. Arlene Johnston, a former primary school teacher from Cape Town, says effort outweighs the cost when it comes to gifts from pupils. “My favourite presents were the ones made by the pupils themselves – particularly the ones with mistakes and spelling errors. I just loved and still love those.” Arlene received her fair share of unusual gifts over the years, including a dress and some “crazy” ornaments. But she says she loved it when the children made and baked iced cakes or biscuits. “Some were really unappetising and unappealing, but it was the effort that counted.” Nicole says the gifts don’t have to be expensive. “I much prefer a letter from the child just saying thank you to a ‘I have to get you something because my mom says I do’ present. Something from the heart trumps everything.” Many teachers admit that chocolates and sweets are among the least liked end-of-year gifts. But, they also say they wouldn’t say no to something homemade – a jar of chillies decorated with a beautiful ribbon, or a hand-painted pot with herbs would make welcome alternatives to the usual box of assorted chocolates. Vouchers are always a safe bet, especially for male teachers who probably have at least one box of unworn socks and garish ties tucked away at the back of the cupboard. There are also only so many “best teacher” mugs, ornaments, magnets, laminated certificates or stationery items that one teacher can display, so try and avoid these twee tokens of your child’s appreciation. A beautifully drawn card or handpainted ornament made by your child would probably mean the world. Irrespective of the gift, make sure the card is handwritten or decorated by your child if they are not yet able to write. To avoid the risk of the teacher getting duplicate gifts, suggest a class collection so that she gets one special gift from the whole class, with a card bearing a special message from each child. Other ideas include getting something for the classroom, or a yearbook or photo album with special memories from the year. The trick seems to be to keep it simple, and to keep it real. Unless you know the teacher well, opt for gifts that won’t be regifted or dumped in a dusty cupboard as soon as the final bell rings at the end of term. magazine joburg
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
a
ccording to lore, in the olden days – circa the 1800s – poorer families couldn’t afford to pay for their children’s education, so they would thank teachers by sending them produce – usually apples or potatoes – from the farm. Nowadays, unless that apple comes with an electronic device bearing the same logo, a piece of fruit – no matter how shiny – just isn’t going to cut it. Teachers work long hours and spend at least 20 hours a week teaching our children everything from Letterland and multiplication to life sciences and career guidance. They wipe noses and disinfect scrapes, they coach our divas to perform in school concerts and help our budding Boks shine on the sports field. It’s a tough job, so don’t forget to send a token of your appreciation at the end of the school year.
magazine joburg
November 2015
21
parenting
If all your time and energy goes to your child, what is left for everything else in your life, including yourself? By LUCILLE KEMP
i
t’s a dark and stormy night. Mom is spending the night in with her husband and six-month-old baby. Their son, who is 10, is having his first sleepover at Gran and Grandpa. Just past 7pm the phone rings at Mom and Dad’s place. It’s their son and he’s crying to come home. Husband is refusing to head out in the bad weather. He’ll be fine; Mom and Dad will be there in the morning. Gran and Grandpa are an hour’s drive away. But Mom is beside herself. Her son wants to come home.
22
November 2015
What do you think she does next? What would you do? (Incidentally, Mom sets out into the dark and stormy night with her baby, returning just after 11pm, having rescued her son from his grandparents.)
constantly on-call Were you to have gone as well, apparently you’re part of a problem. You’re part of a generation of fraught parents that, through constantly pandering to your child’s every need because you worry that supposed poor decisions made for them will weigh
one mom, Cassandra*, work out that she needed only 30 minutes to herself after work every day, before getting home, to be an infinitely more patient mom in the evenings. It took outside intervention for Cassandra to come to that realisation because she no doubt felt guilty that she was not there enough for her child, that she continued to put herself under pressure to race home and “be there”, thus proceeding to be the stressed out mom she didn’t want to be. As Larissa points out, parents’ proverbial oxygen tank needs to be full before they can attempt to fill their child’s tank. Jani eventually came to a place where she could admit and attend to her own needs and therefore started living a more balanced life.
modern parenting the real monster Even though, theoretically, we know that “the best we can is good enough”, we get sucked into the world that wants us to compare ourselves to the next person – our minds far too readily tap into the white noise out there telling us that we could be doing more, causing us to constantly identify how we are falling short as parents, says Larissa. So, we buy the books on how to raise children that are eco-friendly, gluten-free,
magazine joburg
ILLUSTRATION: shutterstock.com
to burned-out parent, with love
heavily on their self-esteem, level of happiness and potential for success one day, has turned parenting into a chore. This sees you working round-the-clock for your children, says Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun. Cape Town-based clinical psychologist Larissa Ernst consulted with Jani*, a mother of twin daughters, who was severely anxious and overwhelmed. “It became clear that she was focused on being the perfect parent for her daughters, attending to their every need and even deciding to become a stay-at-home mom in order to do so. This left her not only emotionally and physically depleted but also unfulfilled and isolated.” However, Jani could not face and discuss her own needs as she felt that it would make her a bad mother. Senior notes that it’s this frantic mode of 24/7 parenting that will lead to burnout, leaving you feeling exhausted, drained, overwhelmed, off-balance and feeling as though you’re failing your children even though they are your number one priority. According to Joburg life coach Robyn Aitken-Smith it is precisely because you have made your children the centre of your world (while trying to be everything to everyone else) that you are spread thin and feel like you’re failing. Joburg-based relationship coach Stephanie Dawson-Cosser helped
disease-proof, financially-savvy, bilingual, and so on. From the minute one family started seeing Cape Town-based family therapist Talya Ressel, due to the 5-year-old’s high levels of aggression at school and extreme anxiety whenever his mom left him, it was clear to Talya that she needed to work with mom Rebecca* before addressing the son’s issues as the mom was suffering from burnout. Rebecca was too embarrassed to admit that she wasn’t enjoying being a mother, that she loved her child but
the price of our happiness In Senior’s TED talk (2014), she dabbles with the fact that parents set happiness as the ultimate goal for their children and this is actually bringing us down. “The one mantra no parent today ever questions is ‘All I want is for my children to be happy’. While wonderful, it is an elusive goal as teaching children happiness is not like teaching them how to ride a bike.” There is no curriculum for it. Rather, happiness is the by-product
It is precisely because you have made your children the centre of your world that you are spread thin and feel like you’re failing. didn’t really like him, that she missed her career and hated chatting with the other mothers at school, and because of this felt she was failing her child and he was acting out to punish her. “Through building Rebecca up and helping her set more realistic expectations for herself, Henry’s* behaviour settled tremendously without him needing any direct intervention.”
magazine joburg
of other things. After years of research Jennifer suggests letting happiness take care of itself and that parents rather focus on creating productive, moral children and hope that happiness comes to them by virtue of the good they do, their accomplishments and the love they feel from their parents.” *Names have been changed.
combat burnout plan Advice courtesy of life coaches Robyn Aitken-Smith and Stephanie DawsonCosser, family therapist Talya Ressel and clinical psychologist Larissa Ernst. warning signs • Ongoing physical, mental and emotional exhaustion • Lack of interest or desire to engage with your children and/or with activities that previously gave you enjoyment • High levels of anger, irritability and resentment – little things set you off • Constantly feeling overwhelmed in all areas of your life, that nothing you do is good enough • Difficulty sleeping • Skyrocketing anxiety levels • Increase in illness • Feelings of loneliness avoid burnout • Drop the unrealistic goals and expectations, which only frustrate and demotivate. • Stop being critical of yourself. • Accept support from others. • Stop comparing yourself and your child to others.
• Detach from technology regularly. • Connect with your children and partner through regular chats. • Make time for adult-time. • Slow down. • Stop only instructing your children, and start playing with them. • Stop “doing” and start “being”. • Learn to let things go, and ask yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen?” • Prioritise yourself. • Explore new ways to manage stress as this will improve interactions with your child. • Don’t try to control and micromanage all situations or experiences involving your child. • Stop striving for perfection, and considering anything less as a failure. • Stop seeing your child’s behaviour as a direct reflection of your ability to parent. • Don’t overschedule your and your child’s life.
November 2015
23
book extract
simply salad Salads are the perfect medium for bringing out the delicate flavours of succulent fish and seafood. We’ve chosen a few from All Sorts of Salads by CHANTAL LASCARIS for you to try at home.
ingredients | dressing • 1 tsp honey • 2 tbsp horseradish sauce
24
November 2015
• salt and pepper to taste • ¼ cup olive oil method Cook the asparagus in a pot of boiling water for about 2 minutes, and then run under cold water to stop the cooking process. Leaving their skins on, boil the potatoes in a separate pot of water until cooked. Set aside to cool, then slice thickly. Liberally spice the kingklip with the sweet basil, salt and pepper. Heat the sesame oil in a frying pan. Once hot, add the kingklip and cook, turning
1
2
3
4 5
occasionally. Add the wine to prevent the fish from sticking to the pan. When the fish is cooked through, sprinkle over the chilli flakes or a few drops of Tabasco sauce, and cut into bite-size pieces. Place the salad leaves on a platter and add the tomatoes, potato slices and asparagus. If the asparagus spears are too long, cut them in half. Place the pieces of kingklip on top. Combine the honey and horseradish, and season with salt and pepper. Slowly add the olive oil, mixing continuously. Pour over the entire salad and serve immediately.
magazine joburg
©
ingredients • 100g fresh asparagus spears • 2 small potatoes • 400g kingklip • ½ tsp dried sweet basil • salt and pepper to taste • 2 tbsp sesame oil • ¼ cup white wine • 1 tbsp dried chilli flakes or Tabasco sauce • 2–3 cups mixed butter lettuce and rocket • ½ cup halved cherry tomatoes
PHOTOGRAPHS:
Prized for its delicate flavour, kingklip is a firm favourite in South Africa. It’s found in deep waters off our coastline, living on or near the seabed. It’s mild and sweet and the flesh is firm and “meaty” – making it the perfect companion for asparagus, which Queen Nefertiti called “the food of the gods”. Feel free to substitute the kingklip with hake fillets. Serves 4
Penguin Random House South Africa Pty Ltd/Matthys van Lill
kingklip and asparagus salad
fishcake salad Here is a recipe for making fishcakes from scratch, but if you simply don’t have the time, buy readymade ones instead. Either way, this makes for a filling main course. Makes 12 fishcakes ingredients • 450g white fish, chopped • 1 whole egg • ¼ cup breadcrumbs • onion, peeled and chopped • ¾ tsp green curry paste or 1 green chilli, deseeded and finely chopped, depending on taste • ½ tsp dried dill • salt and pepper to taste • oil for frying ingredients | sweet potato chips • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled and finely sliced • oil for frying ingredients | salad • 2 cups mixed salad leaves (I like rocket and watercress) • 1 red onion, peeled and sliced into rings • 1 cup halved baby tomatoes • ¼ medium cucumber, sliced into rounds • 3 tbsp pomegranate arils • 1 cup fresh pea shoots or micro leaves
magazine joburg
ingredients | dressing • ¼ cup sweet-chilli sauce • ¼ cup olive oil • ½ tsp green curry paste • 2 tbsp lemon juice method In a blender, whizz the fish, egg, breadcrumbs, onion, curry paste or chilli and dill to form a rough paste. Don’t let it get too mushy or the cakes won’t keep their shape. Season generously with salt and pepper. Break off bits of mixture and form into small balls. Flatten slightly. Put on a plate and chill in the fridge for 30 minutes. Heat a little oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat and add the fishcakes. Cook for about 3 minutes on each side or until cooked through. Drain on paper towel. To make the sweet potato chips, heat some oil in a pot and fry the potato slices until crisp. Remove
1
2 3
4
5
with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towel. Scatter the salad leaves either on a platter or individual plates. Add the onion, tomatoes and cucumber and scatter over the pomegranate arils.
6 7 8
Place the cooked fishcakes on top of the salad, then add the potato chips. Whisk together the dressing ingredients and pour over the salad. Top with the pea shoots or micro leaves and serve.
November 2015
25
book extract
calamari, chorizo and chickpea salad
about the book
I love the addition of chorizo to this already lively salad. Chorizo is a well-spiced pork sausage that originated in Spain. It is usually smoked, which means you can eat it without cooking it. The unusual red colour and smoky flavour is due to the large amounts of paprika in the spice mix. Depending on the type of paprika used, the sausage can be either spicier or sweeter. Serves 4
The author admits that salads can become boring if you don’t try something new, but you’ll find the assortment of recipes in All Sorts of Salads by Chantal Lascaris (Struik Lifestyle) anything but boring. Healthy eating is the underlying theme of many of the salad recipes in her book, although there are a few rich and exotic options to keep things interesting. You will find old favourites, vegetarian, fish and seafood, chicken, meat, fruit and a chapter on salad dressings. If you like things uncomplicated and convenient, you’ll find lots of inspiration here. All Sorts of Salads is available at good bookstores for R230.
ingredients • 100g calamari rings • olive oil and lemon juice for grilling • 1 chorizo, sliced • 410g can chickpeas, drained and rinsed • 1 red onion, peeled and finely sliced • 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped • ½ cup halved cherry tomatoes • ¼ cup finely chopped cucumber • ¼ cup chopped fresh mint • ¼ cup chopped fresh basil • 1 round feta cheese, chopped
2 3 4 5 6
just cooked. Remove from the pan and drain on paper towel. Add the chorizo to the same pan and grill until almost crispy. Drain on paper towel. Slightly mash a quarter of the chickpeas, leaving the rest whole. Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl. Whisk together the dressing ingredients and pour over the salad, tossing well. Chill it in the fridge before serving.
ingredients | dressing • ¼ cup olive oil • 1 tbsp white wine vinegar • 2 tbsp lemon juice • 1 tsp white sugar • salt and pepper to taste method Heat a griddle pan and grill the calamari rings with a touch of olive oil and lemon juice until
1
26
November 2015
magazine joburg
resource
Playing with toys gives children a chance to develop essential skill sets.
PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
CHILD MAGAZINE has put together a guide for toys that can do just that.
t
oys are entertaining. What’s more, choosing the right toy can help children develop certain skills, which will help them achieve developmental milestones. Liz Senior, occupational therapist and founder of Clamber Club, says that playing with toys helps children practise skills that are essential to their development. Children can develop within age-appropriate milestones, says Senior, by having experience with and exposure to a variety of activities. Senior suggests looking for toys that will interest and challenge your child,
magazine joburg
but also, choosing a mix of toys to promote a variety of skills. Try toys that encourage explorative play, where children can solve problems and use all of their senses. Fantasy, creative and constructive play, as well as physical or perceptual play, such as with puzzles, are all good options. Senior adds that we shouldn’t get too hung up on toys that are geared towards specific milestones. She suggests choosing toys that engage children, that strengthen their inner curiosity, and that let them have fun.
milestones and skills Milestones are reached when children achieve a level of competence in specific areas of development. Fine motor skills: the development of smaller actions, usually of the hands and fingers. Gross motor skills: children learn larger movements of legs and arms. Language skills: the ability to speak, listen, read and write. Cognitive development: children learn to process thoughts, including memory, attention, learning new information and understanding. Social skills: children learn to communicate and interact with others. Emotional skills: the ability to manage, express and self-regulate emotions.
November 2015
27
resource
stage: 0–2 years old
stage: 3–6 years old
Gross motor skills: Large play mat with soft toys Play mats facilitate tummy time, making it comfy and safe, and placing toys out of reach encourages crawling. Occupational therapist Megan Faure says tummy time develops the back and extensor muscles, which, when balanced with tummy muscle strength, facilitates rolling and, later, crawling. The early focus on this muscle strengthening likely means that progress from tummy crawling to leg crawling will be quicker.
Gross motor skills: Toys with wheels Any toy that can be pushed is great for your child’s whole-body muscular development, improving their strength, balance and coordination as they move with their cars or push their doll’s pram. Fine motor skills: Dress-up box Buttoning, zipping, pulling over, and sliding head, arms and legs successfully into garments will develop fine motor skills such as hand and finger strength. Your child uses the small muscles of their hands and fingers when they tie a cape or baker’s apron and button their jacket. Dressing up
28
November 2015
Fine motor skills: Bath toys, including jugs, cups, animal squirters and foam shapes These encourage fine motor development through the various hand actions of squeezing, sticking, plucking, dunking, scooping, filling and pouring. Extended time in the bath also builds strength in the hands and arms as your child wades through the resistant water to get to their toys. Language development: Shape sorters Sorters that use blocks or shapes, with numbers or colours on them, help children develop basic vocabulary and concepts. Some shape sorters even say words as you put the shape into the hole, helping children learn new words. Cognitive development: Stacking toys and wooden building blocks These help develop problem-solving and understanding of consequences, logic and size relationships. These can also help counting skills, if you have ones with numbers on them. You can get stacking trains, cups, rings or animal shapes.
as a fairy or Batman just makes learning this skill more appealing. Language development: Play sets Farm sets, tea sets or any pretend play sets help children learn basic nouns and verbs associated with the sets. Children also interact with, and through, the sets during pretend play, so they copy what they hear others say and learn to communicate. Social development: Action figures and dolls Toys that mimic family life and encourage role playing, such as pretend household items and character toys, stimulate your child’s social development. Through pretend play and role playing, children are able to express their emotions and navigate new social dynamics. Emotional development: Storybooks and art activities Art activities provide children with a way to articulate their needs, wants, wishes and feelings. Storybooks that deal with feelings and behaviours can help children to better understand life experiences, develop friendship skills and empathy, and learn coping strategies.
magazine joburg
stage: 7–9 years old
stage: 10–13 years old
Gross motor skills: Bicycle Your child will build leg-muscle strength through the pedal action, along with arm and hand strength as a firm handgrip for steering the bicycle is needed. Riding a bicycle requires, and will improve, good core stability and balance, coordination skills and overall strength and endurance. Fine motor skills: Construction toys and puzzles Intricate finger work and manipulation are required to piece together or model efficiently and will advance their manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination. Language development: Story cubes Story cubes or story dice are blocks with various images on them. Children roll a few of the blocks and make up a story using the images. These build storytelling skills,
Gross motor skills: Swingball set Connecting ball with bat requires speedy reactive arm movement, which calls for a certain level of strength and hand-eye coordination. Learning to hit the ball back to their friend with enough force is the aim of keeping the game going, so gross motor skills are brought into play automatically. Language development: Language apps There is a variety of language apps that help children reinforce their home language, or improve on a second or third. You could also try word game apps, or those that test their knowledge and vocabulary. Cognitive development: Robotic kits and Technic Lego These engage and build on knowledge of how things function, while teaching principles of science and mathematics.
magazine joburg
vocabulary and imagination, and stories can be told orally or written down. Cognitive development: Science and discovery kits Let children experiment and make, mix, build and learn about new things. Look for experiments, solar kits, or those that let you grow plants. Not only will children learn about how stuff works, they will also have to apply logic and solve problems. Social development: Board games Group activities such as board games teach children to control impulses, follow the rules, take turns, share and collaborate, handle disagreements and win or lose gracefully. These are important when it comes to developing friendships. Emotional development: Chore charts Chore charts help build self-pride and a sense of mastery and accomplishment in a fun way. Apart from teaching practical skills, chores also help develop emotional intelligence, teach children selflessness and empathy, instil a sense of responsibility towards others, and may just generate a newfound respect for the things you do for them.
Social development: Video game consoles Some video games require cooperative play and interactions between team members. Video games create a common ground for children to make friends, structured time to hang out and a topic of conversation among peers. Consoles with motion-sensing input devices also encourage physical exercise. You should still monitor video game play the same way you monitor television and other media. Emotional development: Charades Being successful in social interactions depends on children’s ability to navigate these and interpret others’ perspectives and emotions. In a game of charades children engage in a variety of social skills, from reading body language and social cues to using gestures to convey important information.
November 2015
29
a good
books
read Start to Learn: Words
Donna Wilson’s Creative Creatures By Donna Wilson (Published by Kingfisher, R164) Make quirky, creative characters to be used as games, cards, key rings, kites and more. With easily sourced material, simple techniques and clear instructions, each activity is a joy to create.
(Published by Human and Rousseau, R140) This colourful introduction to words will delight and inform preschool children. The combination of bright, appealing photographs and stimulating questions will encourage interaction and enhance learning. The book will also help improve speaking skills.
Winnie’s Big Bad Robot By Valerie Thomas and Korky Paul (Published by Oxford University Press, R124) Winnie is very pleased when she turns her cardboard robot into a real one, but when the naughty robot takes Winnie’s wand, things start to get totally out of control.
Danger is Everywhere By Docter Noel Zone (Published by Puffin Books, R146) Docter Noel Zone is a “dangerologist” and he wants to remind you that danger is everywhere, and turn you into a dangerologist too. With hilarious tips on what to do, you’ll be prepared.
30
November 2015
Family Fun By Lisa Mc Namara (Published by Map Studio, R195) Are you looking for fun and interesting things to do with your family in Cape Town, Joburg, Durban and Pretoria? This informative guide will inspire you to get out there and explore your urban surroundings. You’ll find great things to do with children of all ages, as well as treats for parents.
magazine joburg
The Poohsticks Handbook By Mark Evans (Published by Egmont, R181) This is a fun exploration of the game, Poohsticks, as invented by Winnie-thePooh, which he plays with his friends at the edge of the forest. In this humorous edition, Mark Evans explains the rules and the history, and gives variations of this fun game about sticks, bridges, rivers and friends.
Let’s Build 3D Models: Wild Animals at the Waterhole! and Farm Animals in the Little Red Barn! By Brenda Apsley and Paul Morton (Published by Human and Rousseau, R139 each) Children from the age of three years old can build the models of the animals, read about their adventures and then use the models as counters in a fun game included in the back of the book.
Busy Machines: Up and Away! By Julie Fletcher (Published by Scholastic, R116) Small hands can turn the chunky, shaped pages with bright illustrations to discover lots of busy vehicles zooming across the sky.
magazine joburg
Thomas and Friends (Published by Penguin Books SA, R65 each) All little boys love Thomas the Tank Engine, and this series, titled the Thomas Story Library, has a whole set of Thomas adventure books for little ones up to the age of three years old.
November 2015
31
calendar
what’s on in november
You can also access the calendar online at
childmag.co.za
Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY
1
FUN FOR CHILDREN – p36
ONLY FOR PARENTS – p39
Janice Honeyman’s Sleeping Beauty A beautiful princess needs to be kissed by her one true love.
Stellenbosch at Summer Place A showcase of wine, food, music and art from the Cape Winelands.
bump, baby & tot in tow – p42
how to help – p42
Paed-IQ Baby Bootcamp A workshop to help parents prepare for the arrival of their little miracle.
Bright Stars mentorship training workshop Become a mentor and help vulnerable children.
SPECIAL EVENTS – p33 Mutters Water Works Canines of all shapes and sizes can take part in a day of games, activities, market stalls and a charity walk.
32
November 2015
magazine joburg
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / Bill Zurich
sun
SPECIAL EVENTS 1 sunday A bounty of butterflies After catching butterflies with nets and learning a few interesting facts you will release them unharmed. Booking essential. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, off Galena Ave, Kloofendal, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R60, pensioners R50, children R40. Contact: 079 693 5608 or kloofendalfriends.yolasite.com
Centrum Kids Like2Bike series The final event in the series is a 2km, 5km or 10km cycle, or a duathlon. For 2–14 year olds. Time: 8am. Venue: Inanda Country Base, Rose Rd, Kyalami. Cost: online preentry R140, on the day R150. Contact: 083 326 6721, kirsty@like2bike.co.za or like2bike.co.za Mutters Water Works Canines of all shapes and sizes can take part in a day of games, activities, market stalls, a charity walk, a microchipping station and various demos. There is a water park especially for your dogs and children featuring sprinklers, pools, ball pools, water slides, hosepipes and more. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Ball and All Driving Range, cnr R114 and Malibongwe Dr, Nietgedacht. Cost: R20 per person, dogs and children under 12 years old free. Contact: info@mutters.co.za Rand Society of Model Engineers open day Take a picnic basket and enjoy a ride aboard a miniature steam train. Also 15 November. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Len Rutter Park, 50 Golf Club Terrace, cnr Louis Botha Ave and Golf Club Terrace, Florida Park. Cost: free entry, R10 per ride. Contact: 011 763 6813, 082 837 2371 or rsme.co.za
5 thursday 1 November – A bounty of butterflies
magazine joburg
Dainfern College open day A wonderful, informal opportunity to see the school in
The Society for Animals in Distress’ carols by candlelight
21 sat
Sing along to your favourite carols and enjoy a picnic in the paddocks. Time: 4pm–10pm. Venue: The Society for Animals in Distress, plot 20, Moerdyk St, Vorna Valley. Cost: adults R60, pensioners and children R30. Contact: 083 640 8824 or animalsindistress.org.za
action and meet the principals, staff and pupils. For parents of children from Grade 0–12. Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Dainfern College, Broadacres Dr, Dainfern. Cost: free. Contact: 011 469 0635 or info@ dainferncollege.co.za
7 saturday Advent Fair Browse through the crafts, books and white elephant stalls while the children make their own creations out of copper and iron. There’s also candle dipping, puppet shows, storytelling, a
treasure hunt and various crafts. There is live music all day. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: The Christian Community Church, 46 Dover St, Ferndale, Randburg. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 789 3083 (9am–1pm Tuesday–Friday) or joburg@ thechristiancommunity.org.za Gardens of the Golden City Beautiful gardens around the city are open to the public. Ends 8 November. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: 8 Dove Rd, Norscot Slopes, Douglasdale; and 16 and 21 Troy Crescent, Stratford Gardens, Broadacres
November 2015
33
calendar
10 tuesday
19 thursday
JAG Centenary Join in the celebrations as the Johannesburg Art Gallery (JAG) proudly celebrates the centenary of the Sir Edwin Luytens building. The building was opened in 1915, just after the start of the First World War. Time: 6pm, gallery operating hours 10am–5pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Johannesburg Art Gallery, King George St, Joubert Park, Joburg CBD. Cost: free. Contact: 011 725 3152/30
Ficksburg Cherry Festival Since 1968 people have been flocking to the quaint town of Ficksburg to celebrate this ruby-red fruit. Festivities include a cherry spitting competition, craft and food market, cherry farm tours (prior booking essential), bird, snake and reptile shows, and more. There is a dedicated Kids Zone
13 friday 7 November – Little Hands and Feet Montessori open day
(entrance directly opposite Broadacres Shopping Centre). Cost: R30, children under 12 years old free, Stratford Gardens: R40, children under 12 years old free. Contact: 082 689 0930, 082 464 1352 or gardensofthegoldencity.co.za Little Hands and Feet Montessori open day View the school, meet the principal and staff and find out more about the preschool. Their extramural prizegiving for the year takes place on this day. Caters to children from 18 months–6 years old. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 1 Malgas Ave, Douglasdale. Cost: free. Contact: 082 376 7106 or thegalls@mweb.co.za Nappy Run Wear a cloth nappy anyway you choose while you tackle a 5km fun run and help raise awareness for children
34
November 2015
with disabilities and their need for nappies. Time: registration 8am–8:30am, race starts 9am. Venue: Joburg Zoo, Jan Smuts Ave, Saxonwold. Cost: adults R80, children R40 (parking and zoo entry included) and a donation of disposable nappies. Contact: 011 452 2774 or nappyrun.org.za PLG Schools open day Find out more about Mellow Oaks Academy, which is opening in January 2016 for learners from Grade RRR–9. Also 14 November: Willow View Academy (Grade RRR–10), 21 November: Northriding Academy (birth– Grade 9). Time: Mellow Oaks Academy: 10am–12pm, Northriding and Willow View Academy: 9am–11am. Venue: get full addresses on their website. Cost: free. Contact: 011 678 4406 or plgschools.co.za
Festive lunch-hour concert Gauteng Opera’s soloists entertain with Christmas music. Time: ticket office opens 12:30pm, concert 1pm. Venue: Auto and General Theatre on the Square, Nelson Mandela Square, cnr Sandton Dr and Rivonia Rd, Sandton. Cost: R40, includes a cup of coffee and biscuits. Contact: 011 883 8606 or theatreonthesquare@gmail.com
14 saturday LinguaMites open day Families interested in raising a multilingual child can find out more about this preschool’s unique model, and the value of learning Mandarin and isiZulu in the early years. For parents of 1–8 year olds. Also 28 November. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: LinguaMites Multilingual Preschool, 333 York Ave, Ferndale. Cost: free. Contact: 072 561 3113 or info@linguamites.co.za
Wear Purple for Preemies
17 tue
On World Prematurity Day buy a R10 sticker and wear purple to help raise awareness of preterm birth. All proceeds go to the expansion and upgrade of Groote Schuur Hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit. Contact: 021 404 6023 or enquiries@newborns.org.za
magazine joburg
with treasure hunts, competitions, craft workshops and more. Ends 21 November. Time: 8am Thursday and Friday, 6:30am Saturday. Venue: Ficksburg, Eastern Free State. Cost: varies. For more info: cherryfestival.co.za Photo and Film Expo The expo is for photographers and film-makers of all skill levels and genres. In addition to over 100 presentations and demonstrations being offered by some of the top local players in the industry, visitors can expect the widest range of photographic brands under one roof. Tickets are available through Webtickets or at the door. Ends 22 November. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: The TicketPro Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: adults R100, pensioners and students R50. For more info: photofilmexpo.com
21 saturday Nocturnal frog search After a presentation on frogs, begin a walk through the reserve in search of the slippery critters. Take a torch and it is preferable to wear gumboots or waterproof sandals if you have. Time: 6pm–8pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, off Galena Ave, Kloofendal, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R70, pensioners R60, children R50. Contact: 079 693 5608 or kloofendalfriends. yolasite.com
magazine joburg
21 November – Nocturnal frog search
26 thursday MamaMagic – The Baby Expo For everything you need for your busy 0–6 year old and an opportunity to gain knowledge about pregnancy, being a parent and the latest products. Ends 29 November. Time: 9am–6pm, Barney takes to the stage at 10:30am and 3:30pm Thursday and Friday, 10:30am, 1pm and 3:30pm Saturday and Sunday. Venue: TicketPro Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: R80. For more info: mamamagic.co.za
27 friday A Christmas Concert Gauteng Opera brings you the Christmas spirit with festive music. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Linder Auditorium, 27 Saint Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R100–R150. Book through computicket.com
Parkview Charity Christmas Market The event offers entertainment, over 80 market stalls that sell all kinds of goodies and a variety of activities for young and old. Ends 29 November. Time: 3pm–10pm Friday, 10am–10pm Saturday and 10:30am–4pm Sunday. Venue: George Hay Park, cnr Waterford Ave and Lurgan Rd, Parkview. Cost: adults R50 per day, three-day pass R80, pensioners R30, children under 12 years old free. Contact: 082 450 4599 or nicarela.org.za Pop-up Cinema Take your blankets and pillows for an outdoor movie screening of There’s Something About Mary. Parental guidance is advised. Time: gates open 5:30pm, movie starts at 7:30pm. Venue: Rietvlei Zoo Farm, 101 Swartkoppies Rd, Alberton. Cost: adults R65, children R45, children under 3 years old free. Contact: 082 579 0873, 083 299 3226 or popupcinema.co.za
29 sunday Benoni Art Route A number of artists specialising in sculptures, oil paintings, knives, poetry, stained glass, watercolours and hand-blown glass form an art route that meanders past the lakes of Benoni. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: various across Benoni. Cost: free. Contact: 011 969 6105 or benoniartroute.co.za Collectors’ Toy Fair A variety of collectible toys are on display and for sale, including model trains, Meccano, comic books, miniatures, Star Wars figurines, Scalextric and more. You can take your old toys for valuation or to sell. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Blairgowrie Recreation Centre, Park Lane, Blairgowrie. Cost: R10, children under 12 years old free. Contact: 072 229 7977 or don@ravenscroft.co.za Goldmine Tour Learn about the history of gold mining in the West Rand and see how a stamp mill operates. Booking
28 saturday Carols by Candlelight with the Bala Brothers Pack a picnic basket and spend the evening in the Botanical Garden. Time: gates open 4:30pm, concert 5:30pm–8:30pm. Venue: Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, end of Malcolm Rd, Poortview, Roodepoort. Cost: online R50 per adult, at the gate R100 per adult, children under 13 years old free. Book through plankton.mobi
27 November – Parkview Charity Christmas Market
November 2015
35
calendar
Freshlyground at Nirox Freshlyground showcase part of their repertoire tailored to the rural ambience of the venue. Opening artists include Nakhane Touré and the Skorokoro Ensemble. Time: 10am–7pm. Venue: Nirox Sculpture Park, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R320, children under 12 years old R160, children under 2 years old free. For more info: acousticsnow.org
28 sat
essential. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, off Galena Ave, Kloofendal, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R60, pensioners R50, children R40. Contact: 079 693 5608 or kloofendalfriends.yolasite.com
FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Artists Under the Sun An open-air exhibition of fine art, sculpture and pottery. Children can meet at the yellow caravan to colour in a picture. 31 October– 1 November. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Zoo Lake, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Westwold
36
November 2015
Way, Saxonwold. Cost: free. Contact: 083 470 1998 or artistsunderthesun.co.za BRICS Capitals: Titus Matiyane’s Panoramas Pretoria-based Titus Matiyane presents panoramas of the capital cities of the BRICS countries. His large mixedmedia panoramic depictions of cities of the world utilise schematic outlining with coloured pencils and crayons. 7 October–11 November. Time: 9am–4pm Monday–Friday. Venue: UJ Art Gallery, cnr Kingsway Rd and University Rd, Auckland Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 559 2099, aedempsey@uj.ac.za or uj.ac.za/arts The Dino Expo An educational exhibition with 20 animatronic dinosaurs, sand
pits where children can discover fossils, dino colouring in and drawing stations, a motion cinema for 5–12 year olds and more. 25 September–8 November. Time: 10am–6pm Friday–Sunday. Venue: Cradlestone Mall, cnr Hendrik Potgieter Rd and Furrow Rd, Muldersdrift, Krugersdorp. Cost: R120, pensioner R100, children 2–12 years old R80, children under 2 years old free, family package (two adults plus two children under 13 years old) R350. Book through computicket.com WAM exhibition: Activate/Captivate 21 October–7 January, 14 November: drop-in drawing, 21 November: WAM Family Talkabout (space is limited). Time: 10am–4pm Wednesday–Sunday, drop-in drawing: 12pm, WAM Family Talkabout: 12pm–1:15pm. Venue: Wits Art Museum, University Corner, cnr Bertha St and Jorissen St, Braamfontein. Cost: free. Contact: 011 717 1365 (Monday–Friday) or 011 717 1358 (Saturday and Sunday)
Papier-mâché workshop Children five years and older can take part in a five-week programme that shows them how to do papier-mâché. Also enquire about other art classes, cooking and baking workshops and yoga classes. Booking essential. 2–30 November. Time: 3:30pm–4:30pm every Monday. Venue: The Expressions Centre, Norfolk Rd, Carlswald, Midrand. Cost: R400, includes all materials. Contact: 083 791 6674 or expressionsinfocus.co.za Pottery and mosaic madness Children can paint or mosaic on a variety of ceramics or wooden blanks. Booking essential. Children 6 years and under need to be accompanied by an adult. Time: 9am–4pm Monday–Friday, 9am–2pm Saturday. Venue: Pottery Junxion, 5 Glendower
classes, talks and workshops Minion cupcake decorating workshop Have fun decorating cupcakes with minion decorations made out of marshmallows, Tinkies, fondant and piped butter cream. Booking essential. 21 November. Time: 2pm. Venue: The Chocolate Den, Glendower Shopping Centre, 99 Linksfield Rd, Edenvale. Cost: R200 per child. Contact: 083 601 1291 or invitationsbyfelicity@gmail.com
21 October–7 January – WAM exhibition: Activate/Captivate
magazine joburg
Place, 99 Linksfield Rd, Dowerglen, Edenvale. Cost: studio time R20 per hour, excluding material. Contact: 011 453 2721, rosie@potteryjunxion.co.za or potteryjunxion.co.za
family outings Halloween Moonlight Maze Pack a picnic and explore the elemental maze by
Titanic: The Artefact Exhibition Upon entering the exhibition you receive a replica boarding pass, assume the role of a passenger and follow the chronological journey of life on the Titanic. Ends 8 November. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: The Zone at Rosebank, 177 Oxford Rd, Rosebank. Cost: R85– R320, children under 4 years old free. For more info: titanicexpo.co.za
magazine joburg
torchlight. There are prizes for best dressed. Booking essential. 31 October. Time: 5:15pm–9pm. Venue: Honeydew Mazes, 82 Boland St, just off Beyers Naudé Dr, Honeydew. Cost: adults and teenagers over 15 years old R120, children R100. Contact: 073 795 2174 or honeydewmazes.co.za Polo International Horse Trials Show jumping, cross country and a 5km Pink Pony Walkathon (dress in pink) in aid of Cansa. The Rugby World Cup Final is screened in the VIP Hospitality Dome. Pets on leads welcome. 31 October and 1 November. Time: 6am–5pm, walkathon 8am Sunday. Venue: Waterfall Polo Estate, cnr Maxwell Dr and Woodmead Rd, Midrand. Cost: R130, children under 12 years old free. For more info: polohorsetrials.com
markets Bokkie Park Stalls sell handmade art and crafts, food and craft activities. Enjoy the farmyard, pony and camel rides and the mini go-kart track. 7 November. Time: 9am–2:30pm. Venue: Bokkie Park, Southvale Rd, Parkdene, Boksburg. Cost: free entry. Contact: 072 713 3332, info@ craftsinthepark.co.za or craftsinthepark.co.za Christmas Moonlight Market With handcrafted gifts, food, live music and activities. 17 November–22 December. Time: 5pm–9pm every Tuesday. Venue: Bryanston Organic and Natural Market, 40 Culross Rd, Bryanston. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 706 3671 or bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za
17 November–22 December – Christmas Moonlight Market
Field and Study Market Stroll through the food and craft stalls or rest under the trees while your children enjoy the other activities. 21 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Field and Study Park, cnr 14th St and Louise Ave, Parkmore. Cost: free entry. Contact: 072 778 8044 or Facebook: Field and Study Market Fresh2U Farmer’s Market Shop from vendors, sample homemade fare, fresh produce, herbs, plants, gifts and more. 28 November. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: cnr Main Rd and High St, Modderfontein. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 338 7818, wardek@iafrica.com or Facebook: Fresh 2 U Farmers Market Nelson Mandela Square Antique Fair The fair takes place on the first Sunday of every month on the upper and lower level of Nelson Mandela
Square. 1 November. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Nelson Mandela Square, cnr Rivonia Rd and 5th St, Sandown. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 217 6000 or nelsonmandelasquare.co.za Stoneridge Starlight Market An open-air market with a variety of stalls, carols by candlelight and Christmasthemed activities for children. 27 November. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Stoneridge Centre, 1 Stoneridge Dr, cnr Modderfontein Rd and Hereford Rd, Edenvale. Cost: free entry. Contact: 079 899 9594 or stoneridge.co.za Urban Market at Lemongrass The market offers more than 60 stalls, children’s activities, a selection of food and craft stalls, fresh produce and lots more. 29 November. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Lemongrass Restaurant, 36 and 38
21 November – Field and Study Market
November 2015
37
calendar
Russel St, Benoni. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 284 4777, info@lemongrass.co.za or Facebook: Urban Market at Lemongrass
on stage and screen
25 wed
Johannesburg Big Band at The Movies A 17-piece big band performs songs from popular movies, such as Casablanca, Saturday Night Fever, Superman and Star Wars. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Lyric Theatre, Gold Reef City, Northern Parkway, Ormonde. Cost: R135– R185. Contact: 011 248 5000 or goldreefcity.co.za
38
November 2015
Janice Honeyman’s Sleeping Beauty The tale tells of the beautiful Princess Aurora-Adora, who is cursed by the wicked fairy. The princess will prick her finger and fall into a sleep for 100 years from which she will only awake if kissed by Prince Harry Hunkador the Handsome. 7 November–30 December. Time: varies. Venue: Joburg Theatre, Loveday St, Braamfontein. Cost: R165–R340. Book through the Joburg Theatre: 0861 670 670 or joburgtheatre.com Little Eden’s Christmas Concert Annual Christmas concert performed by the residents of Little Eden, assisted by the staff. 20, 21, 27 and 28 November. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: 20 and 21 November: Domitilla and Danny Hyams Home, 39 Harris Ave, Edenglen; 27 and 28 November: Elvira Rota Village, 115 Tweefontein, Bapsfontein. Cost: free. Contact: 011 609 7246 or littleeden.org.za The Nutcracker Youth Dance Company of Tshwane presents this classical ballet that tells the tale of a young girl who receives a magical nutcracker doll for Christmas. Children are encouraged to dress up in their finest attire for the Sugar Plum Fairy Party – think fairies, princesses, soldiers, rats and nutcrackers. During the interval,
20, 21, 27 and 28 November – Little Eden’s Christmas Concert
cupcakes, sweets and delights are served. 5–8 November. Time: 7:30pm Thursday, 5pm Friday, 11am (Sugar Plum Fairy Party) and 3pm Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: South African State Theatre, 320 Pretorius St, Pretoria. Cost: R100–R150, Sugar Plum Fairy Party R175. Book through computicket.com
Mad Hatter Book Party Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, one of the most timeless children’s books, is 150 years old this year. Celebrate this very special “un-birthday” with a selection of Alice activities, party snacks and a few other surprises. No need to book. 31 October and 1 November. Time: 10:30am–11:30am. Venue: Exclusive Books Melrose Arch, Melrose Boulevard, Birnam. Cost: free. Contact: 011 684 1264 or justins@ exclusivebooks.co.za Puppet shows at Kinderspiel 3 and 28 November: The Pirate and the Mermaid; 7 November: Kallie the Clown; 10 November: Adventure in Space; 14 November: Little Red Riding Hood; 17 November: Darin the Magician; 21 November: The African
playtime and story time Baking at Serendipity Every Friday children can put on a chef’s hat and take part in a hands-on baking activity that’s filled with oodles of fun. Time: 11am every Friday. Venue: Serendipity, 48 Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: R75, including entry. Contact: 011 447 7386 or serendipityplay@gmail.com
Baking at Serendipity
magazine joburg
Alphabet Tree; 24 November: Greenosaurus the Great and Fairywings. Booking essential. Time: 3:30pm Tuesday, 10am Saturday, Venue: Kinderspiel, 39 Greenhill Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: R55. Contact: 011 646 0870 or kinderspiel@telkomsa.net
Nia 4 Kids workshop
sport and physical activities Bumboarding at The Ski Deck Children can bumboard down a 20m slope and play on the jungle gym, trampoline and zip line. Time: 2pm–4pm daily. Venue: The Ski Deck, 74 Bond St, Randburg. Cost: R100 for two hours. Contact: 011 781 6528 or info@ski.co.za LaserMaxx Navigate your way through a maze of fluorescence and extreme sound effects while trying to take out your
Like2Bike MTB skills course
magazine joburg
7 sat
enemies and capture their stronghold. Time: 1pm–7pm Wednesday–Thursday, 12pm–9pm Friday, 10am–9pm Saturday, 10am–7pm Sunday. Venue: Stoneridge Shopping Centre underground parking, cnr Modderfontein Rd and Hereford Rd, Greenstone Park, Edenvale. Cost: R60 for each 15-minute game. Contact: 011 452 0205 or lasermaxxsa.co.za Like2Bike MTB skills course Clinic for 4–10 year olds aimed at entrenching safety and bicycle control. Booking essential. Time: 8am–10am. Venue: PWC Bike Park, 1A Libertas St, off Sloane St, Bryanston. Cost: R250, pre-entries only. Contact: 083 326 6721 or kirsty@like2bike.co.za
A sensory-based movement practice that draws from martial arts, dance arts and healing arts. It improves coordination, teaches sensory intelligence, provides healing through movement and improves the mind, body and spirit connection. Booking essential. For 4–12 year olds. Time: 2:30pm–4:30pm. Venue: Paul St, Northworld, Randburg. Cost: R200 per workshop. Contact: 083 325 6076 or julie@magicblox.co.za
Lumo fun run Walk or run the 4km and 8km trail dressed in neon and lumo clothing. Dogs on leads welcome. Time: registration 5:30pm, run 6pm, every Friday. Venue: Calco Café, 101 Swartkoppies Rd, Alberton. Cost: free. Contact: 076 425 1346 or calvin.dias@hotmail.com Meditation for tweens and children Tweens learn about giving, and younger children about avoiding negative actions. 1 November. Time: 9–13 year olds 9am–10am, 3–8 year olds 10:30am–11:30am. Venue: Vajrapani Kadampa Buddhist Centre, The Colony Shopping Centre, 345 Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall. Cost: R20. Contact: 011 447 2746 or info@meditation.org.za
only for parents classes, talks and workshops Artisan bread-making workshop Learn to make artisan sourdough, focaccia and a sandwich loaf using simple methods with wild or commercial yeast. The course includes learning about the basic method of mixing, shaping and baking bread, and how to elaborate on the basic recipe to create both savoury and sweet bread. Booking essential. 7 November. Time: 10am–2:30pm. Venue: Casalinga, next to Leafy Greens Café, Muldersdrift. Cost: R690. Contact: course@oldtraditions.co.za Brain Boosters Parent Club An internationally acclaimed educational programme designed to maximise your time with your child at every stage
7 November – Artisan bread-making workshop
November 2015
39
calendar
Studio Soirees Joburg Ballet unveils a programme of company premieres of the Farewell
1
sun
Pas de Deux from Spartacus and the Walpurgisnacht, highlights from Somebody to Love and other music of Queen, and many more. 31 October, 1 and 14 November. Time: 3pm. Venue: Joburg Ballet Studios, Joburg Theatre, Hoofd St, Braamfontein. Cost: R150. Contact: 011 877 6898 (office hours only) or edgar@joburgballet.com
of their development. The training takes place monthly, covering a range of topics as well as effective books and toys. Booking essential. For parents of children from birth–6 years old. 21 November. Time: 10am–11:30am. Venue: 333 York Ave, Ferndale. Cost: R300 per month. Contact: 072 561 3113, meryl.bailey@yahoo.com or brainboosters.co.za Domestic Bliss first aid and CPR course Have your domestic worker trained on an accredited “results guaranteed” first aid and CPR course to ensure your peace of mind when leaving your children in your childminder’s care. 21 and 28 November. Time: 8:30am–3:30pm. Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North. Cost: R1 500. Contact: 011 447 5517, 083 525 4992 or domesticbliss.co.za First Aid level 1 training An accredited first-aid training workshop by instructors with an emergency medical services background. Booking essential. For 16 years and older. 13 November. Time: 8am–5pm. Venue: OHS Academy, 811 Lisbon Ave, Little Falls, Roodepoort. Cost: R500 (excl VAT). Contact: 011 026 8451 or marketing@ohsacademy.co.za isiZulu nanny training Monthly training sessions designed to teach caregivers how to teach your child isiZulu, including specially designed take-home isiZulu resources covering a wide range of practical themes and vocabulary. For childminders of 0–5 year olds. 19 November. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: LinguaMites Multilingual Education,
40
November 2015
333 York Ave, Ferndale. Cost: R375 per month. Contact: 072 561 3113 or info@ linguamites.co.za Magic Blox 4 Life information talk An information session for parents to find out more about the Magic Blox 4 Life programme for 5–12 year olds. 3 and 24 November. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm. Venue: Talk Sense Early Intervention Centre, 50 Ballyclare Dr, Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact: 083 325 6076 or julie@magicblox.co.za The Stork Talk A guide to talking wisely to your child about their sexuality. 18 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: PsychMatters Family Therapy Centre, 9 Park St, Bedfordview. Cost: R450. Contact: 011 450 3576 or info@psychmatters.co.za
3 and 24 November – Magic Blox 4 Life information talk
magazine joburg
An evening with André Schwartz André Schwartz sings from his repertoire of original hits, musicals in which he has performed, and big band swing songs. Also view an art exhibition by students from St Peter’s College. Delicious canapés and beverages are on offer. All proceeds go towards The Society for Animals in Distress. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: St Peter’s College, Sunninghill. Cost: R300. Contact: 083 640 8824 or fundraiser@ animalsindistress.org.za
6 fri
Toy Talk Nikki Bush is joined by drama teacher Justine Heydra to arm you with knowledge about toys for 0–12 year olds, and how children learn. This is your chance to see, touch and feel before you buy. Booking essential. 10–12 November. Time: 6pm Tuesday–Thursday, 9am Wednesday. Venue: Bryanston Country Club, 63 Bryanston Dr. Cost: R250, includes refreshments. Contact: 083 260 8792 or info@toytalk.co.za Understanding the masculine and feminine soul In this talk Craig Wilkinson addresses the burning issue of masculinity and the impact that healthy and unhealthy masculinity has on life for men, women, boys and girls. Booking essential. 4 November. Time: 7pm–8pm. Venue: Bellavista School Hall, 35 Wingfield Ave, Birdhaven. Cost: R80. Contact: 011 447 4110 or share@bellavistaschool.co.za
ever-popular hits such as “Please Release Me” and the unforgettable “Quando, Quando, Quando”. No children under 3 years old. 24 and 25 November. Time: 8pm. Venue: Teatro at Montecasino, cnr Witkoppen Rd and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: R500–R850. Book through computicket.com Sweeney Todd This musical thriller tells the outlandish tale of the demon barber of Fleet Street, who famously murdered his clients in his barber chair. 10 October– 29 November. Time: 8pm Wednesday– Saturday, 4pm Saturday, 3pm and 6:30pm Sunday. Venue: Pieter Toerien’s Montecasino Theatre, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R100– R350. Book through computicket.com The Simon and Garfunkel Story Direct from its success in London’s West End, a sold-out UK tour and standing ovations at every performance, The Simon and Garfunkel Story uses huge projection photos, original film footage and a full live band performing all the hits including “Mrs Robinson”, “Cecilia”, “Homeward Bound”, “The Boxer”, “The Sound of Silence” and many more. 18 November– 6 December. Time: 8pm. Venue: Theatre of Marcellus, Emperor’s Palace. Cost: R165– R200. Book through computicket.com
out and about Madame Zingara presents The Celebration Commemorating their fifteenth year of magic, this electrifying showpiece performs in a custom-built, three-storey-high mirrored palace, boasting upper level balconies
on stage and screen Engelbert Calling Engelbert Humperdinck has been a legend in the music industry for more than four decades, with over 150 million records sold. He is singing his
magazine joburg
4 November – Understanding the masculine and feminine soul
November 2015
41
calendar
support groups
7 November – Swartkrans walking tour
and opulent interiors dripping with decadence. No children under 16 years old. 4 November–30 January. Time: 7:30pm–11pm Tuesday–Saturday. Venue: Montecasino, cnr Witkoppen Rd and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: R550–R950. Contact: 0861 623 263 or madamezingara.com
Cansa Care Centres Holistic support from the time of diagnosis through all phases of the illness. They provide advice, awareness materials, information and referrals for anything related to cancer support and care. Contact: 0800 22 66 22, info@cansa. org.za or cansa.org.za Diabetes SA For information on a support group in your area contact: 086 111 3913, 011 886 3721, national@diabetessa.org.za or diabetessa.co.za Muscular dystrophy Support for those with Duchenne and Becker muscular dystrophy. Contact: 011 472 9703, national@mdsa.org.za or mdsa.org.za The Family Life Centre Assistance to families in need of counselling. The centre also offers numerous education and preventive programmes, does community development and offers training. Contact: 011 788 4784/5 or familylife.co.za Tough Love SA Support for families troubled by a loved one’s disruptive behaviour, often related to addiction. Cost: annual fee R180, R20 per meeting attended. Contact: 0861 868 445, info@ toughlove.org.za or toughlove.org.za
bump, baby & Tot in tow
classes, talks and workshops Paed-IQ Baby Bootcamp This workshop provides new and expectant parents with access to holistic information about babies. 28 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Protea Fire and Ice, Melrose Arch. Cost: R180. For more info: paediq.com
support groups Born Sleeping A support group for parents of miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. Contact: 084 524 1541/2, bornsleeping@gmail.com or bornsleeping. wordpress.com Dyspraxia South Africa Support for parents and/or caregivers who have children dealing with dyspraxia. For more info: dyspraxiasouthafrica.co.za
Volunteering made easy with Better SA
Hi Hopes Home-based support for families with deaf or hard-of-hearing infants. Contact: 011 717 3750 or hihopes.co.za Mom Squad A support group for moms of babies from newborn–18 months, run by the Trinity Methodist Church. It’s a relaxed Bible study and mom’s group in one. Time: 9:15am–11am every Thursday. Venue: Linden. Cost: R10. Contact: 082 334 4029 or vandermerwekj@gmail.com Postnatal depression support group A support group for parents who are struggling with the transition to parenthood. Time: 10am–11:30am every Tuesday. Venue: The Fourways Marriage and Family Therapy Centre, 37 Penguin Dr, Fourways. Cost: R100 per week. Contact: 072 690 3836, kirsten@ kirstenmiller.net or fourwaystherapy.com
how to help #180by2016 Help the Sweet Hearts Foundation meet their target of 180 wheelchairs for underprivileged people by collecting plastic bread tags and bottle tops for recycling through Interwaste and the Polystyrene Recycling Company. Funds generated are used to obtain wheelchairs. You can also donate funds towards a wheelchair or donate old or unused wheelchairs. Contact: sweethearts@sweetheartsfoundation.org or Facebook: Sweet Hearts Foundation Bright Stars mentorship training workshop Bright Stars is a youth mentorship programme that trains, screens and matches adult mentors with vulnerable children to be a good adult role model and
25 November – Stellenbosch at Summer Place
Stellenbosch at Summer Place An opulent showcase of wine, food, music and art from the “Eikestad”. This is your opportunity to hobnob with the “who’s who” of the country’s pioneering wine route, while tasting different varietals and enjoying the gourmet dishes, live music and rare art pieces from the extensive Sanlam Art Collection. 25 November. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Summer Place, 69 Melville Rd, Hyde Park. Cost: R500. Contact: 021 886 8275 or events@wineroute.co.za Swartkrans walking tour Observe an active palaeontological dig, guided by scientist and researcher Morris Sutton. 7 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Sterkfontein Caves, Kromdraai Rd, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R400, includes a light lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000, mmathabom@maropeng.co.za or maropeng.co.za
42
November 2015
Hi Hopes
#180by2016
magazine joburg
next month in walk their journey of life with them. You can apply online before attending the training workshop. Refreshments are on sale. For 21 and older. 7 November. Time: 8am–5pm. Venue: Rosebank Union Church, cnr William Nicol Dr and St Andrews Rd, Hurlingham, Sandton. Cost: free; lunch on sale. Contact: 083 332 4181 or brightstarsmentors.org.za Volunteering made easy with Better SA A hop-on hop-off bus service for
people wishing to volunteer their time and make a significant impact on the lives of the less fortunate. Visit their website to book your spot on the bus. 7 and 14 November. Suitable for adults and children 3 years and older. Time: 9am–11:30am. Busses depart from Illovo, Roodepoort, Broadacres and Midrand. Cost: free. Contact: info@bettersa.org or bettersa.org
don’t miss out! For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 30 October for the December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za
it’s happy holidays dec/jan issue on streets 19 nov
look out for: mamma mia! a single mom and her sons experience Italy
fun ways to keep children learning during
the long holidays
fabulous familyfriendly things to do and see in dec & jan
sun and water safety tips
plus
get psyched for
BACK TO SCHOOL get organised for the new year uniforms, stationery, lift clubs, check-ups, and more To advertise call: (011) 807 6449 or email: jhbsales@childmag.co.za Booking deadline: 2 Nov Material deadline: 5 Nov magazine joburg
November 2015
43
it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit
childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties
44
November 2015
magazine joburg
family marketplace
magazine joburg
November 2015
45
a
t some stage, probably during the endless struggle of potty training and the discovery of three sticky sweets glued to the leg of the couch, I lost my sense of fun. It had been obscured by the cushions piled up as a makeshift fort, covered in a pool of red juice congealed on the lounge carpet, and crumpled with the pages that were torn out of my favourite magazine before I even had a chance to glance at the letters page. I’ve lost my sense of fun to the demands of parenting. And I know I am not alone. A snap survey in the school parking lot revealed that for many moms, the ability to make it through the day has all but obscured the ability to have unbridled, uninhibited fun. I feel as if I have forgotten how to give in to the silliness. I know how to make Erin’s favourite grated cheese sarmies and how to mix Conor’s porridge at just the right consistency. I know which cartoon to put on in the morning so that I can sneak in an extra five minutes in the shower before they call me to change the channel. But when it comes to just laughing and playing with them, I’m falling short.
46
November 2015
Erin, Anél and Conor
frivolity rules The responsibilities of parenting can suck the joy out of life sometimes, but ANÉL LEWIS is learning to just give in to silliness every once in a while. Parenting is not for sissies – it’s hard graft. But it would be a pity if this meant we forfeited our ability to give in to a little bit of frivolity every now and again. Sometimes, you can get a lot more done if you yield to a bit of tomfoolery along the way. Dressing Conor is an exercise in patience. He usually runs around the house to avoid being changed. Playing tag before
work is not my idea of fun, so I usually scream at him to stop and get dressed. But recently I gave in and gave chase as he sidestepped the pants I was about to put on him. Laughing, he raced around the dining room table. Soon Erin joined in, and all three of us charged through the house before we got ready to leave. Sure, it made us a few minutes later than I would have
liked on a busy school morning, but it was worth it to hear their shrieks of delight. A few days ago, Erin wanted to do art in the kitchen. This involved lots of paint and glitter and bits of paper. Conor painted his hands green. Erin knocked over the glitter and most of it ended up on the floor. As they snipped and glued, I found myself having to work really hard to ignore the carpet of glitter. Conor swiped at Erin’s face with his green hand, leaving a smear of paint on her cheek. She laughed and returned the favour. Before I knew it, I had been added to the tribe. The children found it hilarious and I forgot all about the floor and the glitter. The important thing is that we managed to turn something quite ordinary into a memorable and, yes, fun experience. A lot of parenting is about routine and rules, discipline and to-do lists. The challenge is to somehow find ways of injecting these with a little bit of frivolity; even if it means having to scoop up glitter from the floor for days afterwards. Anél Lewis is bringing silly back to the Lewis household, despite the very real risk that she could arrive at work with the odd smear of green warpaint on her left cheek.
magazine joburg
PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography
finishing touch