D U R B A N ’ S
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how different are boys and girls?
simple recipes your children will love to make and eat
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October 2011
free
double (triple) the delight how to cope with twins and triplets
the 3D issue
dealing with difference – an A-Z guide and where to find help
health
education
entertainment
This month we dedicate our magazine to all children who find themselves “outside” of the educational, physical and emotional mainstream. We also acknowledge you, their parents, and your ongoing fight to provide your children with every opportunity to heal, grow and excel. Dealing with difference became very real for me once again when I caught up with a friend I haven’t seen in ages. Her daughter has low-level Asperger’s, sensory processing disorder and ADHD and has been at a school for “educational special needs” for seven years. My friend had just heard that her daughter had been accepted at the mainstream high school of her choice – the look on her daughter’s face, and the excitement and sense of achievement in her voice, will stay with me forever. How did she go from being the little girl who couldn’t socialise with her peers, didn’t look you in the eye and could barely sit still for five minutes to a wonderfully sociable and academically astute pupil? Her mother made it happen. She worked day and night on her daughter’s reading, maths, movement and diet. From beanbag
throwing and ball balancing to extension programmes and wheat and sugar-free diets, she tried it all. She also sought out every professional for advice and supervised hours of extra work each week because this was her child, and she was going to make it better. And she did. So, this issue is for all of you who are living stories of hope, knowing that the sun hides behind the clouds. Until next month.
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October 2011
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contents
october 2011
10 upfront 3
health
a note from lisa
6 over to you
readers respond
9
keep it clean
Vanessa Papas finds ways to fight the spread of infections such as hepatitis A
features
regulars
10 overnight sensation
6 wins
L es Aupiais reveals the ups and downs of raising multiples
8 upfront with paul
14 get cooking
Paul Kerton relishes his daughters’ musical skills
simple, fun recipes for budding cooks. By Annabel Karmel
22 resource – your A-Z guide
16 are girls and boys wired differently?
Tamlyn Vincent compiled a directory of disorders and conditions and where to find support
Glynis Horning investigates gender differences and their impact on learning and development
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18 playtime
Jacqui Tooke gives advice for choosing fun and educational toys
26 a good read
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new books for the whole family
30 what’s on in october 38 last laugh Sam Wilson’s children have not inherited her dodgy study habits
classified ads
20 the simple life
35 family marketplace
37 let’s party
Nadine Tedder and her family spend four idyllic months at sea
this month’s cover images are supplied by:
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October 2011
Cape Town
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Durban
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October 2011
5
wins
giveaways in october advanced play
comfortable fit
The uDraw Game Tablet is a first-of-its-kind, revolutionary game system that provides a fun way for families to play with Wii, with innovative features that allow the imagination to spring to life. Games range from Pictionary to Dood’s Big Adventure. For stockists in your area: 011 445 7992 or for more info, visit worldofudraw.com One reader stands a chance to win a uDraw Game Tablet plus three games valued at R2 000. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Ster Kinekor DBN Win”.
Children’s feet continue to develop until the age of 25, and the soft bones in their feet can be distorted by wearing the incorrect shoes. Green Cross shoes support and conform to the shape of the foot, while allowing freedom for bones and joints to develop naturally. For more information, visit green-cross.com Green Cross is giving away eight vouchers for a pair of children’s shoes valued at R250. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Green Cross DBN Win”.
how to enter
congratulations to our August winners
Unless it is otherwise stated, emailed entries go to win@ childmag.co.za and postal entries go to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Only one entry per reader is allowed and entries must be received by 31 October 2011.
Leigh-Ann Kruger who wins a Tripp Trapp chair; Maris Stella School, Madrassah Islaahul Muslimaat School, Anjuman Islam Primary School and Simon Peter PreSchool who each win a Kid-Ease voucher; Nirusha Archary, Sivenathi Mazamisa and Keshinee Barco who win in the Cipla giveaway.
over to you
drugs are not the solution My son Joshua, now six, was diagnosed with ADHD in 2008. There were several recommendations for his “treatment”, including Ritalin and a remedial school, but after much prayer, my husband and I decided to treat him with omega supplements and occupational therapy. After Grade R, we chose to put him in an independent school
party pack with a difference Instead of giving party packs each year, we support the Sunflower Fund by wrapping some treats in their bandanas. This supports their brilliant charity, but also teaches my children the value of supporting good causes. They then have their bandanas ready to wear at school on Bandana Day. I feel much happier spending money on this than on any toy or gimmick. Anonymous
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because we felt that he would receive the attention he needs. We were so wrong. After the first two weeks, we saw our son’s confidence falter and his character change. We took both our sons out of the independent school and we started home schooling them. What a difference this made. My oldest has “found” himself again and he is excelling in his schoolwork; my youngest loves the competition and the time with Mom. It is possible for parents to cope when these things are thrown at us, but we must learn to believe in our children’s abilities when they have our support. Deryn
create TB awareness I am a mom and a doctor who works at a clinic that cares for people with HIV. Many of our patients are domestic workers and nannies. In order to prevent unnecessary job losses, I wish to point out that I disagree with the author of the article “finding Mary Poppins” (Child magazine, July 2011). The author states that people with tuberculosis (TB) should not work with children. While anyone can get TB, it is important to know that the risk of becoming ill with TB is far lower in wellnourished people with healthy immune systems. TB is spread in droplets of sputa when an infected person coughs. After two weeks, most people on TB treatment will no longer be infectious although they may still be coughing. The national TB guidelines advise that it is safe for TB patients to return to work after two weeks of treatment. The duration of TB treatment is not linked
to infectiousness and is continued for a minimum of six months to eradicate semi-dormant bacteria. In my experience, many domestic workers are afraid of losing their jobs if they reveal that they are HIV-positive or that they have TB. By law they are not obliged to disclose this. Many of these ladies are their family’s breadwinners. Some of our patients would rather jeopardise their own health than risk losing their jobs. Employers can make a real difference to less well-off families by simply allowing employees to take sick leave to go to the clinic. Tappie Kitshoff Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/ ChildMag and Facebook: facebook. com/childmag.co.za
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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com
letters
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October 2011
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upfront with paul
if music be the food of love, play on PAUL KERTON relishes the special moments when he gets to
i
was just drifting away, listening to a particularly rousing bit of a Coldplay anthem when Sabina, then aged five and three quarters, announced that she wanted to learn to play the violin. I almost fell off my chair. Great idea. The fact that the violin is one of the most difficult instruments to master, when she had barely mastered the alphabet, still had trouble counting and had the attention span of a gnat, seemed irrelevant. YouTube appears to be bursting with child prodigies still in nappies playing Johann Sebastian Bach’s Violin Concerto in A Minor, so why not her? Music is such a natural way of expressing yourself and there isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t resonate with some kind of serenade, whether it’s heavy rock, rap, or light water music. So I found a quarter-sized violin (not easy by the way), and a fabulous local violin teacher who is experienced and calm, and doesn’t put up with any of Sabina’s nonsense.
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Saskia, Paul and Sabina
Her early attempts at following the music – dressed in purple leggings, red Wellington boots and a skew tea-cosy hat, while barely able to see over the music stand (on its lowest setting), brought a lump to my throat. Watching her pizzicatoing until her fingers were sore had me bursting with pride – my daughter was actually playing (okay learning) the violin! It isn’t as if music runs in the family. I can play a bit of guitar and fiddle on the piano and Gran took piano lessons, but I never had any formal training, apart from
attempting lead guitar in a screeching Hendrix-esque band for a six-week period one summer holiday. Alas, when everybody fell out over who should be the leader, I kissed my budding rock career goodbye. Saskia has been learning piano for a while but, because she started later, I sadly never got to witness her learn. Music is tough for a child, with its minims and crotchets, beats and scales, but it is amazing how it helps with reading and maths. Above all though, it is the discipline that is key. The realisation that you need
to practise, practise, practise to get something right, instead of giving up and disappearing to the comfort of the TV; the usual cop out. Everybody wants to be famous these days but it is better, musically, if you have a good grounding before you audition for X Factor. I remember interviewing the Eurythmics’ Annie Lennox, who started out as a shy, classically trained pianist from Dundee. She told me that she credits those disciplined, formative years for giving her the confidence and ability to complement her talents, and make it to the top. It bears notice. Now that Sabina is using the bow properly – actually reading the music – and has graduated to a half-sized violin, I no longer get to watch her fumble her way through lessons. But watching her practise and expertly handle the violin and its rituals – tightening the bow, setting the rest – are very special moments for me. Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN
watch his daughters mastering their musical instruments.
health
keep it clean Regular hand washing is one way you can prevent the spread of nasty infections, such as hepatitis A. By VANESSA PAPAS
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
hildren are especially curious about the world around them and use their hands to explore everything, often picking up germs that could cause diarrhoeal diseases and acute respiratory infections. Washing your child’s hands often is one of the most effective ways to prevent the spread of many infections, from colds and influenza to food poisoning, Rotavirus and hepatitis A. “Hepatitis A is a general term that means inflammation of the liver,” explains Johannesburg general practitioner Dr Gavin Zipp. “While it’s the mildest of the common hepatitis virus infections (hepatitis B and hepatitis C), it still packs a nasty punch and can cause your child to suffer fever, nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps, and fatigue. It’s a foodborne viral illness and spreads rapidly where children are in close contact with each other, placing nursery schools at high risk. While the infection is mainly transmitted via
the faecal-oral route (going to the toilet and not washing hands, then touching your face or food and accidentally ingesting the virus), it can spread in other ways.” He says your child could pick it up by playing in a puddle of contaminated water, or from eating contaminated food or unwashed fruit and vegetables. If you suspect your child may have hepatitis A, take them to a doctor who will perform a physical examination and a blood test. Treatment is symptomatic and it can take several days, even weeks, before your child will be well again. Bed rest and good nutrition are advised. Fortunately, there is a vaccine against hepatitis A. “The vaccines contain no live virus and therefore have few side effects (apart from soreness at the site of the injection), and can be administered by your doctor or your local chemist,” says Cape Town nursing practitioner Sandy Daynes. “The
Global Handwashing Day Parents are encouraged to teach their children to be hand-washing champions. Good hygiene could literally mean the difference between life and death for your child. • Wash every inch of their hands, including the backs of their hands, their wrists, under their fingernails and between their fingers. • Rinse and dry your child’s hands properly using a clean towel or let their hands air-dry.
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vaccines must be given before exposure to the virus and won’t help if your child has already become infected.” The vaccine is given in two shots, administered six months apart for maximum protection.
good to know • W ashing your child’s hands with soap and water helps reduce the incidence of diarrhoeal disease by more than 40 percent. • Wash your child’s hands before meal times, after they’ve blown their nose, coughed or sneezed, after playing outside, if they’ve been touching animals (including the household pet) and, most importantly, after they’ve been to the toilet. • Establish a hand-washing routine so that it becomes second nature for your child. • If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitiser. • When buying unpackaged food, ensure the person serving you is wearing plastic gloves. • Bacteria can grow on towels, so keep them clean, or opt for disposable towels. • Germs and bacteria can grow on soap bars if they’re left to lie in water. Keep soap dry or use a liquid soap.
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parenting
overnight sensation Raising twins or triplets often involves more logistics than the invasion of a foreign country, says mother-of-three LES AUPIAIS.
baby; it often follows apnea, which is very shallow breathing). At 30 weeks, a baby’s lungs are not fully developed and can collapse. With them wired up to monitors, shielded in incubators and too fragile to hold, I could only observe my little miracles as they struggled to survive. Medical science, and their innate will to live, pulled them through.
coming home Five to seven weeks later, when my triplets were discharged a week apart, the “fun” really began. Because of their birth weight differences and characters, they did not sleep in sync. It would be years before all three were lights out and down for six hours. Instead it was two up, one down and a combination of that while we snatched a few hours of sleep in between. We went through 600 nappies a month, had 12 bottles of formula on standby, bought a new Kombi (which became a great “camp
Establishing a fairly rigid routine is a priority. A mother of a single baby may be able to waive the rules but with multiples, you’re asking for triple trouble. to express enough milk to go around, separation anxiety, countless medical complications, and sky-rocketing bills. In 1990, it cost roughly R75 000 to have a set of triplets at a private clinic. Today, this can cost more than R500 000, depending on the duration of neonatal high care. Triplets seldom last the full 40-week gestation period and, as was the case with my tribe, may suffer apnea and bradycardia attacks (bradycardia is a slowing of the heart rate, usually to less than 80 beats per minute for a premature
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Janine and Deon van Schalkwyk, of Cape Town, have an eight-and-a-half yearold daughter Dayle and six-year-old triplets, Gia, Kate and India. Born between 900g and 1,1kg, their daughters were in the neonatal ward for six weeks. “We were lucky the Life Kingsbury Hospital had established a good routine, which we managed to
and encouraging them to spend “private time” with their mom, is something she believes you should do consciously. “I spend 20 minutes every day with one of the triplets and we do puzzles, read or play.” It helps that the Van Schalkwyks don’t refer to the three as “triplets”, but by their names, to avoid the sense that
keep,” she says. Organised and levelheaded, Janine believes she herself has become a lot calmer and accepting of the small hurricane that triplets cause. “I’m a lot better with the mess and I’m less controlling. So what if half the sandpit comes into the house?” The family live on a smallholding in Hout Bay and her motherin-law, sister-in-law and brother-in-law stay next door. There’s a brilliant support system (including cousins on tap), but Janine says her biggest challenge was her older daughter Dayle, who reacted strongly a year after the triplets came home. “I think that it became a problem when Dayle’s friends wanted to play with the triplets rather than with her.” Making each child feel special,
they are a single entity. The girls, who spent the first five years together at school, now have their own friends and are in split classes.
together or not? Jill Bosman, a primary school teacher preparing for her Master’s degree in research pathology, believes that while teachers and parents often make that decision, it’s rarely, if ever, posed to the multiples, who may know best whether a split or a classroom buddy system would work for them. The biggest challenge comes when “one child underachieves, and school staff are faced with the decision as to whether or not to hold
out” spot for the off-duty parent), prams, clothes, car seats... And all the while, you’re trying to keep your relationship on an even keel. Note to dads: that little TV remote may be stored for a long, long time and it might be an idea to invest in a PVR so you can watch sport later.
illustration / PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com
t
wenty years ago, falling pregnant with triplets didn’t make headline news. You’d have to produce at least sextuplets, in the Rosenkowitz mould, to crack that – and then you’d be lucky enough to land chain store sponsorship. No, a set of triplets only causes tabloid headlines at home, where it creates ripples in your immediate family circle and changes your life forever. As a 30-something, committed career woman and, truth be told, not a “baby” person, the arrival of fraternal triplets Paige, James and Christopher in June 1990, 10 weeks premature, was more of a collision in my life than a delivery. “How did you cope?” was the question most asked. The answer was that we sometimes did not. Any couple presented with a set of preemies weighing collectively less than a single full-term baby faces the following: weeks in neonatal intensive care, the anxiety of nasal tube feeding – and trying
coping mechanisms Establishing a fairly rigid routine is a priority. A mother of a single baby may be able to waive the rules but with multiples, you’re asking for triple trouble. magazine durban
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parenting
only one of the multiples back a year,” she says. Being kept back may help the child academically, but Australian psychologist Dr David Hay noted in his research that the twin left behind will be constantly aware of being “less than the other” and this may even cause a lasting rift. And that’s too high a price to pay for any parent. In my case, James had ADHD and needed tutoring and two years at a top private remedial school, an investment that paid off as all three attended a top Model C high school and matriculated with a solid university entrance pass. The financial cost of James’s private and intense remedial work paled against the sense of achievement the triplets felt at starting tertiary education – albeit in wildly different directions – together. There is no doubt that twins and “trips” have a special bond that seems to strengthen over the years, even though they may be quite different. Twins Colin and Shaun Pitzer, 18, live in Johannesburg
support Apart from routine, support systems play a huge role in coping with multiples. Cape Town-based Estelle and Eben Greyling have three-and-a-half year old triplets; two girls, Charlie and Tessa, and a boy, Ruben; and an older daughter of nine, Leigh. Estelle carried her triplets to 38 weeks and delivered the three at a miraculous average of 2,2kg. Estelle has no parents on her side, but dear family friends (her parents’ age) have become willing and devoted surrogate grandparents. “Joan and Jannie see the triplets often, they fetch and carry, and take them to swimming lessons.” Eben is a helicopter pilot with a packed schedule, but he finds time to play with the children every day. Estelle groans at the noise levels, but she sensibly gives herself a day of “me” time every Saturday from eight to five to recharge her own batteries. She and Eben also make time for coffee and dinners out. Parents can be the weakest link if their relationship isn’t actively nurtured.
Having twins or triplets is about abundant life and an investment in love and nurturing that pays off a hundredfold. and while born an important two minutes apart (Colin is quick to claim “first child” status), they almost mirror each other’s characters and skills. “We excel in different subjects,” says Shaun, “but we always help each other out.” Their parents did dress them identically when they were young (a confession that elicits a collective groan), but today they have different hobbies, different circles of friends and opposite careers planned. Although fiercely bonded, they remain their own people.
double (or triple) trouble Multiples are sometimes naughtier simply because while one child may bore of a game of “search and destroy”, two or three children are likely to combine their energy and momentum. Johannesburg-based Marion Smith, the mother of two-year-old twins, speaks with wry amusement about an entire tea set thrown out the back door “because the sound of breaking cups and saucers was good”. My three “killed” our Kreepy Krauly by pushing cardboard wine sleeves through the pool net and choking the mechanism. But multiples also learn to share quickly among themselves and therefore with other children.
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It is no surprise that these parents seem more organised and well-informed. Today, the multiple birth phenomenon is documented, researched and understood better. While no accurate SA statistics are pinpointing how many more multiples are born now as opposed to 20 to 25 years ago, fertility specialists are more successful and there is careful monitoring during pregnancy, which ensures that babies are watched closely and more frequently. The amniocentesis, to detect chromosomal abnormalities and fetal infections, has also improved the chances of a healthy multiple birth. But that’s the science. Having twins or triplets is about abundant life and an investment in love and nurturing that pays off a hundredfold. My triplets have just turned 21. At their celebration, they spoke about each other and the loving circle of family and friends who had collectively raised them. We realised, that amid the sweat and grind of routine, pranks, tantrums, teenage grumpiness and rebellion, celebrations, gifts and groundings, they have quietly, and with great love, logged our every moment of devotion, care and support. We knew then that we are the richer for it all.
tips and short cuts • M arion says she was told about a midwife who made herself a special breastfeeding cushion, placed at the right height, so that she could feed her twins simultaneously. This depends on how much milk you have available and with triplets, it may mean expressing what you can to give them those essential fatty acids and enzymes. But supplement with formula to keep up essential nutrition. • If you’re having trouble expressing milk yourself, Estelle suggests using a mechanical breast pump. • Establish a routine that continues from hospital to home. • Get help for the nights so you can survive the days. • Don’t panic and buy a bigger house before your multiples are born, as trips can share space for some time. There’s too much stress as it is. The extra room can wait. • If you have an older child or children, be careful to spend “special” time with them as they can become angry and resentful at the arrival of a “three-ringed circus” that hogs the spotlight. • Set aside a day or at least a half-day for yourself, or take a night away to reconnect with your husband. It’s not an extravagance, it’s a necessity. A deteriorating sex life can be the last straw in an already stressful home life. • Get expert advice on whether to split the multiples at school. It seems the rule of thumb is that under the age of five, twins and triplets need to be together for support and confidence. After the first five years, they are secure and their characters are established enough for them to make their own way. • Solving sibling rivalry: A mom of twins once told me that establishing a “King of the Week” routine stopped the bickering. This means one child (of twins or triplets) gets to rule the roost for a week – and choose things like sitting next to Mom or having the window seat. Try doing it in birth order. It’s an “official” rule that they understand. • For support and information, contact the South African Multiple Birth Association: 0861 432 432 or visit samultiplebirth.co.za
how it happens Identical twins or multiples are monozygotic, meaning that a single fertilised egg has split into two or more embryos. These twins share the same set of chromosomes and physical features and are the same sex. Non-identical twins or multiples, also known as fraternal, occur when two or more eggs are fertilised. The siblings do not have to be the same sex or share physical attributes. Non-identical twins are usually hereditary and are more common.
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October 2011
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book extract
get cooking makes 20-24 meatballs tomato sauce • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2 red onions, sliced • 1 clove garlic, crushed • 2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar • 2 x 400g tins of chopped tomatoes • 1 tablespoon sun dried tomato purée • 2 teaspoons thyme, chopped • a good pinch of brown sugar meatballs • 250g lean minced beef • 50g apple, grated • 30g fresh breadcrumbs • 25g Parmesan • 1 egg yolk
First make the sauce. Heat the oil in a saucepan. Add the onions and soften for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and vinegar and gently fry for 2-3 minutes. Add the tomatoes, purée, thyme and sugar. Simmer the tomato sauce for 8-10 minutes before adding the meatballs. Put all the meatball ingredients together in a bowl. Season and mix using your hands to shape the mixture into 20-24 little balls. Drop them gently into the hot sauce. Cover the pan with a lid and simmer for 15 minutes, until the meatballs are cooked through. Cook the pasta in boiling salted water, according to the packet’s instructions. Drain and mix it with the tomato sauce. Tip the mixture into an ovenproof dish. Grate over the Cheddar cheese. Place under a hot grill for 3-5 minutes to brown the cheese.
PHOTOGRAPHS: © Dave King, 2011
• 250g fusilli pasta • 100g Cheddar cheese
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Budding MasterChefs will love to experiment with these tasty, simple recipes from ANNABEL KARMEL.
Sift the flour and salt into a mixing bowl. Stir in the yeast, honey, cayenne pepper, mustard and just enough of the water to form soft dough. Transfer to a floured surface and knead slightly for about 5 minutes to make a smooth, pliable dough. Gradually knead the grated cheese into the dough (this will produce a slightly streaky effect). Shape the dough into balls or animal shapes and transfer them to a lined baking sheet. Cover them loosely with a tea towel and leave them to rise in a warm place for about an hour. Brush with beaten egg. If you are making buns, sprinkle the tops with sesame seeds, poppy seeds or grated cheese. Add currants for eyes on the animal shapes. Transfer them to an oven pre-heated to 200°C and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. The undersides should sound hollow when you tap them. Leave on a wire rack to cool. makes 6 rolls or animals • 250g strong plain flour • generous pinch of salt • half a teaspoon or half a sachet of fast-action dried yeast • half a teaspoon honey • pinch of cayenne pepper • 1 teaspoon dried mustard powder • 200ml warm water • 60g mature Cheddar cheese, grated • 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese, freshly grated to • • • • •
decorate 1 egg, beaten sesame seeds poppy seeds Cheddar cheese, grated currants
about the book Bestselling UK author Annabel Karmel’s latest book, Annabel’s Kitchen: My first cookbook (Ebury, R215) will get even fussy eaters excited about food. With her penguin helpers, Jimmy and Pearl, Annabel shows aspiring cooks how to make nutritious and tasty dishes from around the world. The recipes are easy to follow, with step-by-step instructions and colour photographs. Look out for the handy tips offered with each recipe. The book is available at all good bookshops across the country. Annabel will be in SA this month to promote her books and her range of baby food. Read our interview with her about nutrition on 11 October on childmag.co.za
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spotlight
are girls and boys wired differently? Does your daughter’s bent for Barbies, and your son’s for soccer, reflect biological gender differences, or social expectations and your parenting? By GLYNIS HORNING
developing differently Brain images show that girls’ brains develop more rapidly during early childhood, and boys’ brains are more “lateralised”, indicating that boys make greater use of one hemisphere during early childhood, says Bustin. “Activation in girls’ brains shows they use both hemispheres more – talk about multi-tasking.” At maturity, boys’ brains have a larger mass than girls’, but that doesn’t mean they are cleverer, she says. The differences seem linked to the presence of high levels of testosterone in boy babies. Research indicates that female brains are stronger in the left
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hemisphere, whereas in males the right hemisphere is generally stronger, bringing developmental differences, says Lameze Abrahams, principal psychologist at Lentegeur Psychiatric Hospital in Mitchells Plain, and senior lecturer in the Department
Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to enjoy sitting, listening, and doing fine motor activities such as drawing and cutting. “This plays to the wishes (and minds) of their predominantly female teachers,” says Bustin.
Girls will be more likely to back down in a confrontation, while boys will experience a surge of testosterone and act out. of Psychiatry and Mental Health at the University of Cape Town. “Girls start using gestures, such as pointing and waving byebye, sooner than boys. They also tend to talk sooner (around 12 months versus 13 or 14 for boys), and by 16 months, girls use more words (around 100 versus 30). But the gap narrows, and by two-and-and-half both boys and girls use around 500 words.”
learning differently Studies show that girls and boys learn differently too. It seems the regions of the brain responsible for language and fine motor skills mature earlier in girls, while those responsible for certain cognitive abilities, such as spatial memory and visual-spatial skills, are believed to mature earlier in boys, says Bustin. Schools don’t always cater for these differences, and this can act against the interests of young boys, she says. “Boys learn kinaesthetically – they generally prefer to learn while moving or manipulating things.” Some schools have found that boys perform better academically when given regular short periods of activity between periods of formal learning. “The large motor activity is believed to activate parts of the brain that stimulate neural activity. I know from personal experience that if boys are sent out to complete a circuit of the playground, or the whole class runs on the spot and does star jumps, the boys are energised and return to work with greater industry and focus.”
Abrahams says there are also biochemical differences at work: “Boys have less serotonin and oxytocin, hormones that play a role in promoting a sense of calm, than girls. That’s why it’s more likely that young boys will fidget and act impulsively.”
behaving differently Girls and boys express themselves differently, play differently and even throw tantrums differently, say both psychologists. “Because girls’ brains are wired differently, they may be able to talk about feelings and empathise more than boys, and be more aware of changes in tone of voice,” says Abrahams. When it comes to discipline, boys may not be as sensitive to other people’s feelings, and may not respond immediately when asked to stop bad behaviour, she adds. They may also react differently in stressful situations. “Girls will be more likely to back down in a confrontation, while boys will experience a surge of testosterone and act out. Parents and teachers need to be aware of these differences and adapt their approach accordingly.” But times are changing, and today boys are being encouraged to communicate rather than suppress their emotions, says Bustin. “This is a real challenge for some, though.” And the understanding that boys respond to physical education can translate to physical discipline and a return to corporal punishment. “This would be short-sighted, because aggression begets aggression and
retaliation. It’s also very difficult to teach children conflict resolution when they’ve been urged to solve problems physically; they’re no longer focused on the process, but on an instant short-term solution.” Both psychologists are impressed by the readiness of new millennium parents to learn more about child raising, and report that they are “much more enquiring” about different forms of education, learning, communication and discipline. The upshot, says Bustin, is that while there are undoubtedly social pressures about gender expectations, few parents now talk in generalisations. “They talk rather about their child and his or her unique personality and genetic inheritance, which is as it should be.”
do we stereotype? Consciously or not, most parents hold certain expectations of each gender and reflect these in their interactions and the choices they make for their children. “Some parents are quite open to toy and play choices,” says Bustin. “Others may be guided by the desire to provide their child with clear boundaries as to gender orientation not from a homophobic point of view, but because of what they consider to be their responsibility to their child to give them direction.” In her experience, many parents find it difficult when their boys dress as girls. “But this is a healthy and passing stage many boys enjoy. Boys often see it as a huge joke and show, through their behaviour, that they’re quite sure of their gender activity.” Bustin would prefer parents to relax on issues like this and focus on other stereotypes. “Our failure to develop the ‘feminine side’ of boys by encouraging them to be in touch with their feelings, or to stimulate girls in traditionally ‘male’ fields such as the sciences, is a failure in our duty to develop the whole child and equip them for life in general,” she says. Current research doesn’t show support magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com
anadian couple David Stocker and Kathy Witterick whipped up a storm this year when they declined to disclose the sex of their newborn baby. They announced that they are raising the neutrally, and appropriately, named Storm as “genderless” until the child is old enough to “choose” which gender he or she is most comfortable with, unfettered by “social norms”. But how much do social norms influence gender, and how much is hardwired into a child by nature? It’s an old debate, being given new direction by advances in biological and psychological research. “Both social norms and neurophysiological differences play a role in gender differentiation, and the relative contribution of each has only recently been understood – and continues to be discovered and to be controversial,” says Durban child and educational psychologist Dr Caron Bustin, a former pre-primary school principal. “This is especially so because these very differences can be manipulated according to our own bias or agenda.” Our opinions as parents are still as likely to be based on our own experiences and inclinations or social group as on our knowledge of medical, technological advances, she says. “Yet these advances have shown a consistent developmental pattern of neurological growth that supports the view that boys’ and girls’ brains do differ.”
Girls and boys express themselves differently, play differently and even throw tantrums differently. for a “maths gene”, but there’s plenty of evidence that encouragement and practise improves maths and science skills for girls and for boys. Durban hairdresser Claire Graham had no qualms about gender stereotyping when she learnt three years ago that her third child would be a girl. Her sons, Murray and Ross, were then five and four. “And I was ready for something different,” she says. “It’s been such a treat. I did the whole pink thing – pink nursery, pink pram… Sophie knew from the start that pink was her colour, and she loves it.” But the differences between Sophie and her brothers are far deeper than a coat of pink paint, says Claire. “I’d roll a ball at her as I did for the boys, but she just wasn’t interested. I’d offer a doll, and she’d immediately start rocking it. Sophie’s always wanted necklaces and high heels, and she’d rather read books or sit colouring than scrum down with her
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sports-mad brothers or tear around with them on bikes.” Johannesburg PA Kim Furweger, on the other hand, has “never been big on gender roles”. Blue, she says, is her favourite colour, and that’s what her daughter Gaby, 10, and her son Cameron, eight, both tend to wear. There are differences between the children, she says, but these are “much more to do with personality than gender”. She says, “I was told boys were more active and naughtier, yet Cameron’s easier; he’s a relaxed child and very focused, and he always finishes projects. Gaby rushes on to the next thing.” Kim encourages both children to “try everything”, and they do, sharing any possibly inherent gender strengths. “Cameron asks Gaby to teach him to knit,” she says with satisfaction, “and he gives her criticism when she plays soccer, not that she always appreciates it.”
spot the differences In general:
girls
boys
1 Talk earlier 2 Have better verbal and
1 Walk earlier 2 Have better spatial skills 3 Have better gross motor skills 4 Are attracted to motion 5 Are action-focused 6 Need to be on the move more 7 Are less easily startled by loud
listening skills 3 Have better fine-motor skills 4 Are attracted to faces 5 Are people-focused 6 Are able to sit quietly for longer 7 Are more easily startled by loud noises or voices 8 Are more cautious 9 Are less likely to be injured 10 Are less prone to certain developmental disorders (autism, attention deficit disorder, language disability)
noises and voices 8 Take more risks 9 Are more likely to be injured 10 Are more prone to developmental disorders mentioned under “girls”
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ideas
Finding a toy that is entertaining and educational is not easy, especially if your
i
have often walked the aisles of toy stores searching for a plaything that won’t be discarded a few moments after unwrapping, but will instead inspire play. In my case, the recommended age guides on the toy box labels offer little help. My son Matt has a rare genetic condition called Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. So, when he was younger and I was still struggling to come to terms with his diagnosis, these labels would just remind me of how different he was from other children. Added to this emotional turmoil was the stress of knowing that the right toys are an important part of creating a learning environment. With Matt’s syndrome and developmental delay, I felt pressured to give him all the help possible to reach his
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potential. So what should have been a fun outing to the toy shop would turn into a stressful and emotional experience. Now, nearly five years later, I’ve found greater peace with Matt’s diagnosis, and I’ve learnt a few things about choosing toys that make the shopping experience less daunting.
I found great help from Cape Town occupational therapist Mush Perrins. “Play relates to the level of skill that the child has at that time in the various areas of development, or the activity the child wants to learn or perfect, such as wanting to ride a tricycle and then riding it well,”
There is no guarantee, despite the best advice, that your carefully chosen toy will enthral and educate. get professional help I know this sounds a bit extreme. I mean, how hard can it be to choose a toy? But children do much of their developing through play, so it is a crucial decision.
she explains. “So play is not necessarily related to the age of the child.” Once Perrins had assessed Matt, she was able to identify his stage of development, what play and toys would
interest him and more importantly, what he would be able to do. I’m sure Matt is like most children – when he realises that something is too difficult for him, he just gives up. I remember Matt was at first intrigued by balls, but when he realised how tricky it was to catch one, he preferred to play with something else. Perrins recommended that we get a ball attached to elastic that could hang from a beam. That way it would be easier for him to control. She couldn’t have been more right – Matt loved it. He spent hours pushing the ball, then hitting it with a bat before he eventually started throwing and kicking this ball. This built up his skills and confidence to start engaging with all types of balls.
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com
child has different needs. JACQUI TOOKE offers advice based on her experiences.
learn while you play
choose multi-dimensional toys Opt for the kind of toy that is pitched at the level your child is currently at, so he or she will be confident to play with it from the word go; but make sure it can also be used for more complex play as your child matures and hones his or her skills. Duplo, the largersized Lego blocks, are a great example. At first Matt was happy just to build towers, then he progressed to making and playing with aeroplanes and cars. Now he loves playing “pretend house” with the Duplo people. This toy has really grown with him as his interests and abilities have developed.
test drive toys if possible When we visit friends, sit in doctors’ waiting rooms, or interact with a therapist, I watch to see which toys Matt chooses, and which ones really capture his attention. If possible, I ask if we can borrow the toy
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for a couple of days. I observe his play, trying to understand what exactly intrigues him, and I make a written note of it. When I am next toy shopping, I have some clues to guide me. Often, this has resulted in us choosing a captivating toy. Children with different needs are, at the end of the day, just that – children. And as with all children, they have likes and dislikes. There is no guarantee, despite the best advice, that your carefully chosen toy will enthral and educate. Looking in Matt’s toy boxes, there are definitely a few items that have rejection issues. Don’t be too hard on yourself if some playthings are discarded like stinky socks. Rather spend your energy celebrating the better toy choices you have made. I am left in no doubt when Matt is besotted with a toy because it goes everywhere with him.
Match the toy to the ability of your child so you don’t cause frustration with a too difficult toy or boredom with one that is just too easy. Many toys often enhance more than one area of development. • Gross motor development Big muscles are strengthened by playing with wagons, riding a bike, climbing frames, sweeping a broom and jumping with a skipping rope. • Fine motor development Work the small muscles in hands, and improve hand-eye coordination with puzzles, stacking blocks, balls, threading toys or play dough. • Sensory development Stimulate the five senses with musical instruments, touch-and-feel books and sand or water play toys. • Social development Encourage your child to interact with others, by using dolls, puppets and dress-up clothes. • Intellectual development and creativity Expose your child to various art materials, books and board games that incorporate logic, sequencing, reasoning and eventually problem-solving. • Language development Use any toy that invites conversation.
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getaway
the simple life NADINE TEDDER and her family packed one bag each and set sail for a four-month cruise in Madagascan waters. In these emails home, she describes what it’s like to “live the dream”.
June 2010
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October 2011
Pioneer, our home anchored at Vezo Island Bruce, Nadine, Tristen and Tadzio at “Nim’s Island” beach camp at sunset
We give soccer balls to local children The children sailing with a friend in a pirogue
PHOTOGRAPHS: Nadine tedder / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
e ean – with pearly-whit adrift in the Indian Oc Ark ’s ah No a – r sca ga n to go ge island of Mada ing the dream”. The pla Ahoy there, from the lar . Yes, here we are “liv sea ue -bl ice s an d an r s nut palm white, with ou friend beaches, swaying coco glass or two of crispy a er ov nt, me mo lb ar-old son hatched in a light bu Tristen and their 10-ye on a cruise was first take our seven-year-old o als uld wo last we ed We decid istics were left to the Blossom and Wojek. nature, most of the log n ma hu is As ay. yw of this kind. ter and brother an eded for an adventure Tadzio, who are like sis preparation that was ne of k tas oth mm ma ated the m Durban a few days minute. We underestim ers who had set sail fro oth the et me to r sca d us, across r way to Madaga to take our baggage, an d Tristy and I winged ou he ac att rt ca a h wit cow) ge s a zebu (Madagascan Safari Vezo beach lod earlier. Waiting for us wa was to transfer us to ich wh t, oa db ee sp h to our awaiting the very low-tide beac we aughter quality time as at Anakao. red special mommy-d sha I d an ty Tris l. iva ”, anchored off the yacht’s arr board our new “home Here we were to await en. Soon we were on ildr ch al loc the h wit d played soaked up the sun an rgeous snorkel. seafood: over the side for a go fting past, selling their Vezo Island, flopping -catching pirogues wa eye the at l nt. rve ma e We gun! wns for the sam amou The simple life has be six and 2kgs of big pra d fee to gh ou en is t with the ht Dorado fish tha boat, usually at sunset R20 for a freshly caug ens off the stern of the pp ha It d. she se eri ch be n ch to g into the ocea to rin Our bath routine is mu bodies, before jumpin d me ea -cr sun r ou lesson for the ckdrop. We scrub ly. It has been a great fiery red ball as the ba , but we use it sparing ard bo on ji ker ma ter tion wa balls, Tristen and Tad off. We have a desalina ool to donate soccer sch al loc the it vis we community. nserve water. When good about helping the children on how to co d facilities. We all feel ite lim d an ms oo ssr artan cla are amazed at their Sp day. , far outweigh on board, briefly, each ne ling in a foreign country vel Our schoolwork is do tra of art the d an , ng g the children are learni route, at Nosy (meanin Frankly, the life skills our way up north. En ng rki wo wly slo are h four children, ademic work. We repid French family wit int the importance of ac an h wit up et me d an me humpback whales island) Hao, we spot so ote island. rem t en times we ge on this magnific lod a ng ildi their country and at all bu are o wh It’s a pleasure to be in ly. nd frie d an e ntl ge tting our plo le are navigation, The Madagascan peop ally try their hand at stic sia thu en en ildr ch private tropical overnight sail, the their own “base” on a ild feel safe. On our first bu o als ey Th e. urs co d and steering a compass fronds, wood, shells an position on the chart the children use palm ts, hu ir the t ruc nst co ys, as we drop the local fishermen n flows for a full two da tio island. After watching ina ag im eir Th le. ger sca nd. the structures on a lar a scene from Nim’s Isla fishing line to replicate sunset. It really is like at m the t llec co d an d technology at in the morning ildren have not misse ch them off on their island e Th . Be sy No of not Island just off the coast from shells, they have Home is now Sakatia les and other objects ng ba , rks ma ok bo es, to create necklac all. With plenty of time nute. been bored for one mi nders” e Loads of love, “th isla
Jonty Wright and DJ, a French friend, jumping off the bow at Sakatia Island
magazine durban
August 2010
Tristen on her surfboard
Michaela Wright and Tristy on the bow A local Malagasy girl embroidering
Ahoy there. It is the beginn ing of August wrenching go and we have odbye to our had to say a sh very tearful, he ip m at es Blossom, have a very un artWojtek and Ta ique friendshi dj i. p A s mentioned, an d life on boar We needed to we d together fo get into a be r so long was tter routine w just fabulous had largely be ith Tr is . ten’s schoolw en neglected ork once they for the last fe ha d with Tadji on le w ft. It weeks, as th board. The da ere was just ys have evolve too much ac generally hang d tion in to quality time th ing out. Bruce at is spent re does the scho ad in navigation an g, creating, lear olwork with he d knots. ning and r twice a wee k, and part of We visit seve their curriculum ral reserves, in is cluding Nosy a graceful turt Tanikely Marin le. At Lokobe e R es er ve, where I ge Nature Reser creepy to see t to glide unde ve we do a ju a Madagasca ngle walk and rwater with r tr spot a noctur ee boa curled ar of course ther nal spor tive le ound a branch e are the cham mur. It is that we are ab eleons and gr out to walk un bananas, muc een lizards. B de h to Tristen’s r, an la d then ck lemurs jump delight. Our fri out at us and letters, magaz ends, the Wrig w e ines and post hts, have com feed them from home. A e to visit and rushing to sign fter all, there we are thrilled is not one En off now as th to receive glish publicat ey are flying ho ion here of an We plan to he me tomorrow y sort. I am ad north to a . new area, the Look forward Mitsio Archipel to seeing you ago, and we w all when we ge ill keep you po Loads of love t home. sted. Deenie, Bruce and Tristy
September 2010
When we return to Nosy Sakatia, we find many more boats anchored there. Tristy befriends Millie from Australia, Zoe and Arthur from France, and Nadine and Devon from Durban. They meet up on the beach or paddle over to each other’s boats once the schoolwork is completed for the day. The pressure is on for Tristy to finish the term’s curriculum and the Madagascan project she has embarked on. It’s not so easy to apply oneself when turtles are popping up to gasp some air alongside you and pleasure boats are whizzing past at high speeds. We then up anchor again to
Tristen and Bruce at Tsarabajina
visit the Mitsio group of islands. Nosy Ankarea thrills us with its pristine beaches smothered in shells. Snorkelling the turquoise waters of Nosy Tsarabajina is unforgettable. And so, with our time in Madagascar marching on, we have to face the fact that our “dream” is coming to an end. It makes me emotional to think that this simple, uncluttered life will soon be over. On our last day we awake to stunning weather, windless conditions and clear water. We soak
up every bit of water sports activity and fun we can handle and, of course, sneak in a final snorkel with a fabulous lionfish and giant manta ray sighting. We finish off our adventure with a candlelit dinner in the cockpit. I have a huge lump in my throat as we wave goodbye to the Pioneer; she has given us a truly good time. Reality hits when we are pulled aside at the airport – our visas have expired. We play dumb and after much Malagasy mumbling, we are stamped out. Phew, a close call. At the same time, we are excited to be heading back to our beautiful home and our muchloved cats. It feels good to have accomplished our mission, most of all it has gone smoothly and without a hitch. The last time Bruce and I had lived the life on boats was 1994. Now that we have a child, the emphasis is so different, with worries about safety at sea and staying healthy. But the quality family time we have enjoyed was more than anyone could wish for. Tristy fast became a
natural sailor and an enthusiastic crew member. Schoolwork was a breeze; she did the term’s curriculum with ease and learnt so much in every other way. All in all it was a huge success, which will hopefully be repeated. Next time, it will be a oneyear round-the-world trip. We sleep soundly on our first night home, even though we miss the water lapping on the hull. And it is weird to open up the fresh water tap, liberally run a deep, hot bath and flush a toilet with a quick push of a handle. Bonne nuit, thank you Madagascar for your awesome country and wonderful people. We will be back. Loads of love, the newly arrived landlubbers
magazine durban
Schoolwork on board
Tristy arriving at Nosy Tsarabajina
quick facts • M adagascar lies off the southeast coast of Africa, and is the fourth largest island in the world. • It is home to five percent of the world’s plant and animal life. • Cyclone season is from January to March. • The official languages are Malagasy, French and English. • There has been political unrest since 2009, so visitors are urged to be cautious. • South Africans need a visa to visit.
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resource
dealing with difference – your A-Z guide A directory of conditions and disorders, and where to
ADHD Children experience difficulties in certain behaviour, including inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. Contact Adhasa Stuart Wilson: 031 208 8896, 076 359 2395, s.wilson@mweb. co.za or visit adhdsupport.co.za Angelman syndrome This genetic disorder causes a variety of neurological problems, including delays in development, speech problems, and jerky or trembling movements, seizures and balancing trouble. Contact Angelkids (Angelman Syndrome Families in South Africa) Ronel: 082 727 9558, angels1@vodamail.co.za or visit angelkids.webs.com Apert syndrome Children born with this congenital disorder usually have a malformed skull, face, hands and feet. Contact Cranio Kids (All Craniosynostosis disorders) Robyn Rondi: 082 601
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October 2011
8585, robyn.rondi@hotmail.com or visit craniokids.co.za Online community forum aboutface.ca Apert’s Support Group and Children’s Craniofacial groups on Facebook Apraxia This disorder affects the ability of children to communicate and control fine and gross motor movements. Contact Apraxia-Kids Association visit apraxia-kids.org Asperger’s syndrome This condition falls into the Autism spectrum and affects children’s ability to socialise and communicate. Contact Action in Autism 031 207 4858 or info@autismsouthafrica.org Auditory Processing disorder Children have difficulty processing the sounds they hear, rather than with their hearing. Contact I Can Development Centre Ali Smeeton: 084 605 0821 or visit ican-sa.co.za
Autism A developmental disorder that affects the brain’s development of social and communication skills. Contact Action in Autism 031 207 4858 or info@autismsouthafrica.org Bipolar disorder Children experience moods, feelings, thoughts and behaviour that range from extreme highs to extreme lows. Contact Bipolar Support Group Sister Pillay: soobashni.pillay@lifehealthcare. co.za or visit saida.org.za Central Auditory Processing disorder See Auditory Processing Disorder Cerebral Palsy Conditions where the brain has been injured, affecting the child’s movement, motor control, muscle control, perception and communication.
Contact Crest and Quac (Daycare for CP children) Paula (KZN Cerebral Palsy Association): 031 700 3732 or 031 700 3956, paula.kzncpa@iafrica.com or visit kzncerebralpalsy.co.za Cleft lip and palate This occurs when the lip and/or palate don’t join together before birth, leaving a gap. Contact Cleft Friends Helena: 082 393 1206 or 079 527 1504, helena@cleftfriends. co.za or visit cleftfriends.co.za Congenital heart defects These are structural defects present in the heart at birth. They are the most common major birth defect. Children may exhibit poor development or growth, a heart murmur, shortness of breath or they may develop a range of respiratory infections. Contact The Heart and Stroke Foundation 031 261 9050, kzn@heartfoundation.co.za or visit heartfoundation.co.za
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com
find help and support. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT.
Cornelia de Lange disorder A genetic disorder that affects the physical and intellectual development. Children may experience heart problems, speech delay, mental problems and behaviour problems. Contact CdLS-Kids Yahoo group online support or visit cdlusa.org Cystic Fibrosis Children with this condition develop a build-up of thick, sticky mucous in their lungs, digestive tract and other parts of the body, causing breathing difficulties, lung infections, poor growth, infertility and other problems. Contact KZN Cystic Fibrosis Association Ashleigh: 071 602 2966, info@cysticfibrosis. co.za or visit cysticfibrosis.co.za Dandy-Walker syndrome This congenital disorder causes a brain malformation. Symptoms may include the slow development of motor skills, an enlargement of the skull, particularly at the back, and increased intracranial pressure. Contact Dandy Walker Syndrome Support Group Facebook or visit dandy-walker.org Deafness/hearing loss Hearing loss occurs when a part or parts of the ear do not function properly. Contact The KZN Blind and Deaf Society Belinda Naidoo: 031 309 4991, 082 868 000 or rehab@nbds.org.za
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Developmental delays This is when a child is consistently late in reaching developmental milestones, including language, fine and gross motor skills, cognitive ability and social skills. Contact I Can Development Centre Ali: 084 605 0821 or visit ican-sa.co.za Down’s syndrome This condition occurs when children are born with an extra chromosome, causing differences in how their bodies develop and giving them a distinctive appearance. Contact Down Syndrome Association KZN Caroline Willis: 031 464 2055, downskzn@ iafrica.com or visit downsyndrome.org.za Dwarfism Dwarfism refers to people who are short in stature as a result of any number of medical conditions. Contact Little People of South Africa 072 077 2318 Raising Leah online support group Charmaine: 072 374 6233 or visit raisingleah.wordpress.com Dysfunction of Sensory Integration (Sensory Integration Dysfunction) This dysfunction refers to the inability of the brain to organise sensory information as it comes through from the senses. This dysfunction can impact on a child’s ability to function and learn. Contact South African Institute of Sensory Integration Aletta Kietzmann:
012 362 5457 (Tuesday and Thursday), saisi@uitweb.co.za or visit instsi.co.za Ehlers-Danlos syndrome Children who suffer from this condition have a defect in the collagen of their connective tissue, resulting in joints that are loose or unstable, skin that is fragile and can bruise or tear easily, muscle or joint pain, poor muscle tone and other problems. Contact Ehlers-Danlos Parental Support Group Facebook page or visit ednf.org Epilepsy A neurological disorder that causes a person to have seizures or fits as a result of unusual electrical energy in the brain. Contact Epilepsy SA 0860 374 537 (national office), Melanie Nobin: 031 309 1370, 031 309 1661 or visit epilepsy.org.za Foetal Alcohol syndrome This condition occurs when mental and physical defects develop as a result of alcohol crossing the placenta. Contact Sanca 031 202 2241 or visit sancadbn.co.za Fragile X syndrome This genetic disorder is a result of changes in the X chromosome and causes mental retardation. As boys only have one X chromosome, it tends to affect them more severely. Contact Fragile X (Call only if your doctor
cannot recommend anyone else) Luisa Potenza: 011 624 0655, 076 514 3553 or lula@icon.co.za Guillain-Barre syndrome A rare disorder that affects the peripheral nervous system, which controls muscle movement and communicates sensory information to the brain. Complications may arise when the breathing muscles are affected. However, this disorder and its symptoms are usually temporary. Contact Guillain-Barre Syndrome Support Phyllis Fourie: 084 944 4488, phyllis@aurorahospital.co.za or for online support visit guillainbarresindroom.co.za Hypotonia This describes a state of low muscle tone (different to muscle weakness) and can be caused by a variety of other disorders. Symptoms include floppiness in babies, delays in reaching developmental milestones and difficulty in feeding or breathing. Contact Hypotonia Awareness Group on Facebook Jacobsen syndrome A rare congenital disorder caused by loss of genetic material. Children with this condition usually display
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resource distinctive facial features, such as wide set eyes and low set small ears. Contact Jacobsen Syndrome Awareness visit jacobsenssyndromeawareness.com Juvenile diabetes (Diabetes mellitus type 1) Children with this form of diabetes can’t produce insulin, which is responsible for getting glucose into the cells to create energy. Symptoms can include thirst, hunger, frequent urination, weight loss and feeling tired. Contact Sugarbabes Eldice Ngcobo: 031 266 1280, 072 695 3416 or sgrbbfoundation@gmail.com Dia Bear Club diabear1@absamail.co.za or visit diabear.co.za SweetkidsSA Kay Wentworth: Yahoo group Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis This autoimmune condition is characterised by joint pain and swelling in children under 16 years. Children may show signs of stiffness or limping, have sore joints, experience a fever or rash and may have eye inflammation. Contact Arthritis Kids SA Di Crossman: 071 888 1682 or dcrossma@live.co.za Arthritis Kids SA Facebook page Kawasaki disease This is an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in blood vessels, affecting the body’s organs as well as the hands, feet, mouth, eyes and throat. Contact Kawasaki Disease Foundation of South Africa Mark Satiya: 031 539 3023, 084 231 3418, marksatiya@yahoo.com Klinefelter syndrome In this disorder, boys are born with an additional X chromosome, so while most males are XY, males with this condition are XXY. Some symptoms include reduced fertility or infertility, irregular testicular function, developed breast tissue and psychosocial problems. Contact 47xxy Klinefelters Syndrome support Facebook page Krabbe disease A rare degenerative disorder where the myelin sheath that surrounds the nervous system starts to break down and brain cells are destroyed. This is an inherited disease, and symptoms can include rigidity, fever, and irritability, slowing of the development of motor skills, hearing loss, difficulty eating and blindness. Contact Krabbe Kids visit krabbes.com Landau-Kleffner syndrome (Acquired epileptic aphasia) Children with this neurological disorder suddenly or gradually lose the ability to understand or express language (aphasia), often accompanied by seizures. Contact Landau-Kleffner Information and Support Facebook group Laryngomalacia This is a common congenital defect where the soft, underdeveloped cartilage of the larynx collapses when the baby inhales. This causes a narrowing of the air passage, which results in a squeaky sound when the baby breathes. Contact Laryngomalacia Support Group Facebook page Mental retardation This occurs in children under 18 years of age, when they have a below average
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Intelligence Quotient. Children may present with delays in language and motor development, difficulty in learning social norms, and difficulty in developing memory and problem solving skills. Contact Durban and Coastal Mental Health (daycare centres) Thembi or Priya: 031 207 2717, thembi@dcmh.co.za or visit dcmh.co.za Metachromatic leukodystrophy An inherited disorder caused by a deficiency of the enzyme arylsulfatase A, which results in a toxic build-up of sulfatides and damages the nervous system, liver, kidneys and other organs. Symptoms include loss of muscle tone and control, rigidity, delays in development, loss of vision, decreased mental ability, seizures and paralysis. Contact Families and their children with Leukodystrophy Facebook page Missing limbs This occurs when a child is born without a limb, or loses a limb due to trauma or for medical reasons. Contact Association for Persons with Physical Disabilities KZN Cheryl Naidoo or Azad Ismail: 031 403 7041 or apdkzn@ mweb.co.za Muscular Dystrophy This group of hereditary disorders affects the muscles of the body, causing them to lose tissue and get weaker over time. There are many different forms, so symptoms will differ. Contact The Muscular Dystrophy Foundation of South Africa Maxine Strydom: 083 290 6695, maxine@ riverhillprop.com or visit mdsa.org.za Neurofibromatosis In this condition, non-cancerous tumours grow from the nerve tissue, affecting the spinal cord, brain, skin and other parts of the body. A defining sign is café-au-lait coloured spots on the body, while other symptoms can include seizures, blindness, freckling in the underarm or groin area, tumours on or under the skin and pain from affected nerves. Contact South African Neurofibromatosis Association 011 716 4071 Neurofibromatosis Support Group Facebook page Obesity Someone is considered obese when their body fat has become excessive and will impact on their health, often reducing their lifespan. Contact Overeaters Anonymous Chris: 083 409 8309, andrewss@iafrica.com or visit oa.org Paediatric Primary Immune Deficiency A congenital disorder in which children are born with cell defects that prevent the immune system from functioning properly, impacting on the body’s ability to prevent infection. Contact Pinsa (Primary Immunodeficiency Network of South Africa) Mariana du Toit (Secretary): 082 365 4663, pinsahelp@ mweb.co.za or visit pinsa.org.za Pierre Robin syndrome This congenital condition causes babies to be born with malformed facial features, including a smaller lower jaw, a tongue that falls back magazine durban
into the throat and often a cleft soft palate. They are likely to experience breathing and feeding difficulties, and ear infections. Contact Pierre Robin Foundation Leigh Parkes: 082 410 3197, info@pierrerobin. org.za or visit pierrerobin.org.za Pierre Robin Sequence Foundation Facebook page Prader-Willi syndrome A genetic congenital condition that causes decreased muscle tone, a continuous feeling of hunger and underdeveloped genitals. Contact Prader-Willi Syndrome Association of South Africa Rika Du Plooy: 021 344 0241, Janet Legemaate: 031 767 4493, chairperson@praderwilli. org.za or visit praderwilli.org.za Primary Immune Deficiency Disorder See Paediatric Primary Immune Deficiency Reye’s syndrome A rare disease affecting the organs of the body, most specifically the liver and brain, and most commonly occurring after a viral infection. Contact Reye’s Syndrome Awareness Facebook page Rett syndrome A neurodevelopmental disorder that affects girls more frequently than boys. It presents with a decrease in the rate of development and growth, as well as the loss of purposeful hand movements, verbal skills and balance and coordination. Contact Sandy du Plessis via the online forum: visit rettsyndromesouthafrica.com Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome This genetic disorder is characterised by distinctive facial features, broad thumbs and toes, short stature and degrees of learning disabilities. Contact RTS South Africa Jacqui Tooke: 084 666 9566, rts.southafrica@gmail.com or visit rts-southafrica.weebly.com and matthewtooke.blogspot.com Rubinstein-Taybi visit rubinstein-taybi.org Sjogren’s syndrome This autoimmune disorder causes the body to attack the cells that produce tears and saliva, with the main symptoms being dry mouth and dry eyes, although other parts of the body that need moisture may also be affected, including the skin, nose, joints, lungs and brain. Contact Sjogren’s World online support group visit sjsworld.org Spina Bifida A congenital condition in which the spinal cord and backbone do not fuse, leaving an opening in the spine. Some other problems that could be experienced include poor bladder control, weakness in the feet and legs, or paralysis in the legs. Contact Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus Louise Muller: 011 680 1068 Tourette syndrome TS is a neurological condition where people experience repetitive, involuntary movements and vocal sounds called tics. In severe cases the tics may result in the person hurting himself, uttering swear words or repeating the phrases of others. Contact Dystonia Association of South Africa (Movement disorders) Karin: 011 326 2112 or karin.pasa@tiscali. co.za Tourette Syndrome Association for details of SA support visit tsa-usa.org magazine durban
Turner syndrome This condition affects girls, and occurs when a female is missing part or all of the second X chromosome in some or all of her cells. Symptoms including small stature, puffy hands or feet, webbing at the neck and heart defects. Girls may also have problems with fertility and hearing. Contact The Turner Syndrome Contact Group of South Africa Jo-Anne Richards: 082 453 2591, josierichards@gmail.com or visit saida.org.za Visual impairments – blindness Low vision, legally blind and blindness are degrees of visual impairment, and may be congenital or the effect of various disorders or injury to the eyes. Contact Retinitis Pigmentosa Support Group on dailystrength.org Retina SA Claudette Medefindt: 011 622 4904 or 083 306 5262. National helpline: 0860 59 59 59 or visit retinasa.org.za Waardenburg syndrome An inherited genetic disorder that may cause hearing loss and changes in the pigmentation of hair and eyes. Contact Cranio Kids Robyn Rondi: 082 601 8585, robyn.rondi@hotmail.com or visit craniokids.co.za Williams syndrome This congenital disorder typically causes an elfin appearance in children, as well as heart defects and mental disability. Contact Williams Syndrome Support Group in South Africa 084 574 2926, Tanya Holtzhausen: 082 778 8429, williamsyndromesa@gmail.com or visit williams-syndrome.co.za.
general support Autoimmune Illness Support Forum Facebook page South African Inherited Disorders Association 011 489 9213 or visit saida.org.za Special Needs Support Group Facebook page Whizz Kidz Special Needs Centre Disabilities include Autism Spectrum Disorders, learning disabilities, Apraxia, Rett syndrome and Down’s syndrome, Deborah King: 031 701 1490, whizzkidzsnc@mweb.co.za or visit whizz-kidz.co.za
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books
a good read for toddlers
for preschoolers Educat kit By Colleen Fernandes
Quick, Slow, Mango! By Anik McGrory (Bloomsbury Publishing, R85) Baby elephant Kidogo is off with his mom to find breakfast. She’s always telling him to hurry, but Kidogo loves to take his time and wants to do everything slowly. Meanwhile, up in the trees, a mischievous monkey named PolePole is always in a rush, trying to grab all the mangoes he can. Fast and slow, these two adorable critters meet up in the luckiest way – and it’s mangoes for breakfast for everyone. This is a charming story, with stunning illustrations, about taking one’s sweet time. McGrory is also the illustrator and author of Desmond and the Naughtybugs and Animals Asleep.
The Animal Bop Won’t Stop By Jan Ormerod and Lindsey Gardiner (Oxford University Press, R118) “The animal bop just won’t stop so move your body from bottom to top!” Join jolly jellyfish, mischievous meerkats, a gentle giraffe, parading peacocks and more in this invitation to take part in the animal bop. The rhythmic, rhyming text encourages all sorts of actions and noises that are lots of fun – prowling and growling, wiggling and sashaying, trotting and strutting. Lindsey Gardiner beautifully illustrates every move with a kaleidoscope of patterns and collage. This is the perfect read for children aged two and older.
(Educat Publishers, cost varies) Educat Publishers offers products with eyecatching illustrations that promise hours of fun. The creative and stimulating educational tools are designed to inspire and capture children’s imaginations. These include reader and activity books, activity worksheets for children from the age of three, guide books for parents, notebooks, flashcards with memory recall activities, flip charts, sing-along CDs, display stands, books, posters, magnets and more. They also have items, such as activity aprons, which help with fine motor skills development. Visit educat.co.za for a full list of their products.
Flip, Flippie and Friends series By Charlotte Ewins and Riaan Retief (CopyCat Communications, R29,95 each) Flip, Flippie and Friends is a series of earlylearning children’s books that will delight, entertain and educate. Flip, the mother or teacher figure, takes Flippie, the child kangaroo, and his friends through entertaining twists and turns as they learn about numbers, the A-B-C and shapes and colours. The series has been designed to enchant children with fun stories. Learning is part-and-parcel of the experience. As we know, children learn through enthusiastic repetition and participation. Visit flipflippieandfriends.co.za for product information.
for early graders Twins and Mom Why am I Different? By Matina Genkova-Mpofu (Queen Protea Press, R65) These delightful and informative books explore what it means to be or know twins, why some of us look the way we do and why we are all special, even if we do look different from others. The importance of self-acceptance and appreciation of individuality shines through in both books. The author, who was born in Bulgaria but now lives in South Africa with her husband, was inspired to start writing children’s books by her son, Obi. Both books can be ordered directly from the publisher. Visit queenproteapress.blogspot.com for contact details.
Abby’s Aquarium Adventures – Predators By Heidi de Maine and Keli Hazelton
award winne r The Little 5 – Stories from Africa By Janina Pechová
ehom n grow t hi
(Creda Communications, R95) Join Abby on her adventures in the aquarium world and you’ll soon discover that sharks aren’t the only predators in the sea. You will find out more about some other sneaky, cute, beautiful and even strange-looking predators. It’s an amazing world down below where scuba divers love to go. This is the second book of a series that looks at marine life, animal careers, life in the aquarium and conservation. Book one in the Abby’s Aquarium Adventures series was listed as one of the Argus Top 10 Best SA Children’s Books for 2010. For more info on the series, visit abby.co.za
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(Little Foot Publishers, R108) Follow the adventures of a shrew, a tortoise, a beetle, a bird and an ant, which all live on the slopes of the Magaliesberg Mountain range. They lose at competitions but outsmart thieves, dogs and even the villainous and treacherous goblins, known as “Trixies”, to achieve their dream. The author/illustrator’s artwork is simply outstanding and the imaginative story line takes young children into a whimsical world of small creatures. The stories are not just entertainment, as Pechová uses this medium to teach children about conservation and social issues. For more info on the book and to order, visit thelittle5.com
FArTHER By Grahame Baker-Smith (Templar Publishing, R114) When a father who dreams of flying goes off to war and does not return, his son decides to make the dream come true. Grahame BakerSmith’s moving story, with stunning illustrations, shows how, with love and a bit of ambition, you can reach seemingly impossible goals. It’s filled with magical imagery and is a powerful read that conveys dark emotions, storms of war and weather, and a powerful sense of loss and bereavement. This clever picture book with a dream-like quality was also the winner of the 2011 CILIP Kate Greenaway award.
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October 2011
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books
for preteens and teens
parenting books
Shimmer By Alyson Noël (Macmillan Children’s Books, R74) The number one New York Times bestselling author of The Immortals continues her new middle-grade series about Ever’s younger sister, Riley. Having solved the matter of the Radiant Boy, Riley, Buttercup, and Bodhi are enjoying a well-deserved vacation. When Riley comes across a young ghost named Rebecca, Riley soon learns that she is not at all what she seems. As the daughter of a former plantation owner, she is furious about being murdered during a slave revolt in 1733. Mired in her own anger, Rebecca is keeping the ghosts who died along with her trapped in their worst memories. Can Riley help Rebecca without losing herself to her own nightmarish memories?
The Unknown Spy By Eoin McNamee (Quercus, R93) In book two in the Ring of Five trilogy, Wilsons Spy Academy has called back their most brilliant trainee spy: Danny Caulfield. Danny is to be sent on an urgent mission to find the treaty stone that protects the Upper World before the Ring of Five, leaders of the Cherbs, destroy it and wage war. Danny and his friend Dixie, a spy who can appear and disappear at will, must set off to the Kingdom of Morne to save the stone. Boys from the age of 10 will love this trilogy.
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The New Baby & Child Care Handbook By Marina Petropulos (Marina Petropulos, R264) The author’s childcare guidance is known and trusted all over the world and parents inevitably refer to her Baby & Child Care Handbook as their “baby bible”. This updated guide deals with many of the issues parents encounter, providing clear and medically sound explanations and answers. Besides the basic childcare needs of feeding, sleeping, toilet training and discipline, there is information about many new behavioural, emotional, social and psychiatric issues, and descriptions of conditions and infections that were previously uncommon. Marina has been interacting with parents on her radio programmes and columns for more than 30 years, answering parents’ questions and giving advice.
Disconnected Kids By Dr Robert Melillo (Penguin Books, R160) This book introduces you to a ground-breaking new homebased programme to treat autism, ADHD, dyslexia and other disorders. Based on years of scientific research and used to treat approximately 1 000 children, Dr Robert Melillo’s Brain Balance Programme addresses not only the symptoms of what’s affecting our children, but also the cause. He presents an individualised programme that allows parents to assess, address and even correct their child’s neurological disconnects with simple physical, sensory and academic exercises. This book offers a visionary new approach to helping many children with brain-related problems.
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for us Ghost Boy By Martin Pistorius
What to Cook & How to Cook it By Jane Hornby (Phaidon Press, R369) This is the ultimate step-by-step cookbook for anyone who wants to make their favourite meal to perfection. The carefully explained recipes are simple to follow and perfect for beginners. Clear colour photographs showing you what to buy accompany every recipe and illustrations guide you through each step. From breakfast pancakes to roast chicken, from a quick pad Thai to a classic lemon tart, this book takes 100 tried-and-tested dishes back to basics and shows how simple it can be to cook good food.
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The Metabolism Miracle By Diane Kress (Da Capo Lifelong Books, R120) Do you notice weight gain around your middle that won’t budge or do friends and co-workers eat more than you, but weigh less? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be one of the millions who have Metabolism B, an inherited, hormonal imbalance that causes your body to over-process carbohydrate foods into excess body fat. As someone who personally struggled with Metabolism B, registered dietician Diane Kress knows first-hand the frustration of diets that won’t work. Her New York Times bestselling book has helped thousands of people lose weight for good.
(Jonathan Ball Publishers, R140) In January 1988, Martin Pistorius, aged 12, fell inexplicably sick. Within 18 months, he was mute and wheelchair-bound. Doctors were mystified and Martin’s parents were told that an unknown degenerative disease had left their son with the mind of a baby. But, unbeknown to anyone, Martin’s mind began to wake up, rendering him a prisoner inside his completely unresponsive body. Ten years later, an aromatherapist senses that some part of Martin is alert and his parents realise that their son’s intelligence has not been affected. This is a deeply moving, extraordinary account of recovery and the power of love.
Mending a Broken Heart By Nadine Raal (Jacana, R180) You carry your baby for nine months, give birth and then you get to bring your healthy baby home. This is how it should be, but for Nadine Raal and her husband, Stewart, the birth of their son is the start of a heart-wrenching medical journey. Zack was born with life-threatening congenital heart defects, and he had to undergo open-heart surgery that was the first of many hospitalisations and treatments. Nadine shares her family’s experience of Zack’s condition, and the challenges it poses, in an honest and vivid way that, despite its seriousness, offers an inspiring message for all parents: cherish each moment of your child’s life. Written with warmth and humour, this is a must-read for any parent.
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calendar
what’s on in october
You can also access the calendar online at
childmag.co.za
Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT.
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FUN FOR CHILDREN – p34
ONLY FOR PARENTS – p35
Cupcake Kids Club Sign up now for fun cooking lessons.
André the Hilarious Hypnotist See him work his magic on stage.
bump, baby & tot in tow– p36
how to help – p36
Raising Multiple Kids Seminar Glean expert advice about multiples.
The unlimited child Development in needy communities.
SPECIAL EVENTS – p32 Wiggle Waggle Dog Walk A fun outing for everyone, including the family dog.
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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com
sun
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October 2011
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calendar
SPECIAL EVENTS 1 saturday Climb to Reach the Stars Climb the rock in support of The Star Academy, a centre for children with challenging behaviours. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R40. Contact Sacha: 074 379 7649, greenberg.sacha@gmail.com or visit thestaracademy.co.za
2 sun
Quads 4 Quads Seven hundred bikers ride from Johannesburg to Durban and back in support of the Quadriplegic Association of South Africa. They arrive today and depart 6 October. Time: depart 8am. Venue: Cane Cutters Resort, Sheffield Beach. Cost: free. Contact Gary: 032 947 0851, stay@canecuttersresort.co.za or visit canecuttersresort.co.za
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Dame show Displays and sells miniatures and crafts. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Berea Primary School, Bellevue Rd, Morningside. Cost: R5. Contact: mezmonk@yahoo.co.uk
Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Durban Homemakers Expo Over 250 exhibitors bring you the latest trends in lifestyle, design and renovation. Ends 9 October. Time: 10am–9pm, Thursday– Saturday; 10am–6pm, Sunday. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban CBD. Cost: adults R45. Contact: 031 764 5270 or visit homemakersonline.co.za
2 sunday Wiggle Waggle Dog Walk There are dog displays, food stalls and spot prizes. Preregister online. Time: registration 9:30am, event 11am–2pm. Venue: Village Green, 29 Village Rd, Kloof. Cost: adults R25, children R10, dogs R10. Contact Janine: 031 764 1212/3, marketing@kloofspca.co.za or visit kloofspca.co.za
7 friday 4 October – The Smurfs visit Musgrave Centre
4 tuesday The Smurfs visit Musgrave Centre Children can meet characters from The Smurfs 3D movie. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Musgrave Centre, 115 Musgrave Rd. Cost: free. Contact Melissa: 031 201 5129, melissa@primelife. co.za or visit musgravecentre.co.za Tree Tales Join Adi Paxton in this envirostory that uses magic, puppetry and mime and promises plenty of entertainment and fun for all ages. Ends 7 October. Time: 10am. Venue: Under the Fig Tree Amphitheatre, Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: R25–R30. Contact Adi: 031 201 2515, 083 725 0925 or visit cherryco.co.za
5 wednesday Bafunny Bafunny – The Odd-Shaped Ball A dream comedy team that has set out, in true rugby style, to win all of their matches.
Also 6 October. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban CBD. Cost: R120–R200. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Crow charity golf day Tee off in support of the rehabilitation of animals. Time: 11am. Venue: Durban Country Club, Masabalala Yengwa Ave. Cost: R2 000 per four-ball. Contact Sam or Sharon: 031 462 1127, education@crowkzn.co.za or visit crowkzn.co.za
6 thursday André the Hilarious Hypnotist Watch him create pandemonium on stage by getting people to perform hilarious suggestions. 16 years and older. Also 7–8 and 13–16 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: Sunzone, Suncoast Casino. Cost: R95. Book through
2011 Robin Hood Foundation fundraiser Mischievous Divas. Time: 6pm. Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Cost: R225. Contact: robinhoodfund@ telkomsa.net No Laughing Matter A men-only fundraiser featuring Barry Hilton, including Lamy and a hilarious line-up. Time: 1:30pm–5pm. Venue: Cotton Fields, Umhlanga. Cost: R150. Contact Carol: 074 113 6838 or carol@justus4children.za.org Teeny Tots Playschool golf day Help raise funds for a new classroom. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Umhlali Country Club. Cost: R1 200 per team. Contact Claire: 078 799 8269 or claireblack@mweb.co.za The Horizon Farm Trust charity race event Help raise funds for the therapeutic horse programme for children with disabilities. Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: Stewards’ Room, Greyville Racecourse. Cost: R250. Contact Lee-Ann: 031 769 1433, hftadmin@sai.co.za or visit horizonfarmtrust.org.za
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gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za The Eagles – Takin’ It Easy A tribute featuring hits like “Hotel California” and “Desperado”. Ends 30 October. Time: 7pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Cost: R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za
16 sunday
20 thursday
Amashova Durban Cycle Classic Cyclists can tackle the 106km route from Pietermaritzburg to Durban, or enjoy the 38km family fun ride. Time: 6am, family fun ride 5:30am. Venue: Pietermaritzburg City Hall, the family fun ride starts from Hillcrest High School. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 312 8896 or visit amashova.co.za
Send the Fire: Big Band An 11-piece band, including a brass section, performs popular hits. Ends 23 October. Time: 8pm; Sunday 3pm. Venue: The Stirling Theatre, The Italian Club, Durban North. Cost: R80. Contact: 076 786 1127 or bookings@ stirlingtheatre.co.za
12 wednesday
11 October–8 January – Big Top Rock
8 saturday Eye Care Awareness open day and coffee morning Free eye-screening clinic. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: John Edward Palmer Residence for the Blind, 45 Harris Crescent, Sherwood. Cost: R50. Contact Norma or Juanita: 031 208 2263, 031 202 7277 or juanita@kznblind.org.za
11 tuesday Big Top Rock It’s back and better than ever. This show combines rock ‘n roll music with circus tricks. Ends 8 January. Time: 6:30pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R125, Tuesday and Sunday R90. Contact: 031 566 3045
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Livingstone Primary School golf day Annual golf day and fundraiser. Time: 11:30am. Venue: Royal Durban Golf Club. Cost: R1 600 per four-ball. Contact Bronwen or Lisa: 031 312 2026, 082 445 7815 or marketing@livingstoneremedial.co.za
Big Bandana Bash Celebrate National Bandana Day with a delicious meal, entertaining top comedians and an evening of fun. Time: 6:30pm–10pm. Venue: Primi Polo, Hillcrest. Cost: R220. Contact: 078 207 9041, steph@sunflowerfund.org.za or visit sunflowerfund.org.za
22 saturday
14 friday Medi-Clinic Baby antenatal weekend Couples can enjoy a luxury weekend away combined with an antenatal course. Ends 16 October. Time: Friday 6pm–Sunday 1pm. Venue: Zimbali Lodge. Cost: R5 500 per couple. Contact Marinda: 082 481 8337, mediclinicbaby@mediclinic.co.za or visit mediclinic.co.za
15 saturday Maris Stella family fun day There are rides, games and fun, plus food and market stalls. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: 558 Steven Dlamini Rd, Berea. Cost: free entry. Contact Sandra after 1pm: 084 562 8301
21 friday
16 October – Amashova Durban Cycle Classic
17 monday 15th Poetry Africa International Poetry Festival Showcases international and local poets, plus there is a school poetry competition. The seven-day programme includes performances, music, workshops and open mic sessions. Ends 21 October. Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, University of KwaZulu–Natal, Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 260 2506, 031 260 1816 or visit cca.ukzn.ac.za
Curves’ cancer car wash and market day Curves is raising money for breast cancer awareness. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: DHS Old Boys Club, Gainsborough Dr, Durban North. Cost: for car wash R30. Contact: 031 563 7579 Pooch Meets Play charity event Enter your pooch into a competition, browse stalls and enjoy the children’s entertainment. Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: The Crescent Shopping Centre, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: free entry, R50 to enter the doggie competition. Contact Vanessa: 031 566 2887, vanessa.fraser@ purpleplumm.co.za or visit thecrescent.co.za Raising Multiple Kids Seminar Parents of multiples can learn about the individuality of their children, plus schooling issues
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calendar and tips. Time: 12:30pm–4pm. Venue: Netcare Parklands Hospital, Hopelands Rd, Overport. Cost: R100 per person. Contact Edie: 082 338 2625, kzn@samultiplebirth. co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za
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25 tuesday Christmas through the home Experience the magic of Christmas. No children allowed. Ends 29 October. Time: varies. Venue: 9A Highlands Rd, Pinetown. Cost: R20 Tuesday, R5 Wednesday– Saturday. Contact Adie or Wynanda: 031 702 5811 or 083 270 1901 Kloof Christmas Market You’ll find a variety of quality products, including clothing, gifts and handcrafted items. Start looking for Christmas presents. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Kloof Civic Centre. Cost: free entry. Contact Marge: 072 317 5418 Stars of the Ballet Moscow Features stars from the leading ballet theatres of Moscow, including the Bolshoi Ballet. The SA touring programme includes Pyotr Tchalkovsky’s Swan Lake Act 2 in the first half and extracts from various international ballets. Ends 26 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: The Playhouse Opera Theatre, 231 Anton Lembede St, Durban CBD. Cost: R135–R225. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com
26 wednesday Feed the Babies fundraiser Big Top Rock is the sequel to the popular show The Rock Circus and includes music, aerial acts and jugglers. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R135, table of 10 R1 350. Contact Judy: 082 837 6702
fri
The Drakensberg Boys’ Choir and Sea World’s Dolphins Classic and contemporary songs are complemented by the grace of the dolphins. Ends 24 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R110. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com
Roseway Waldorf open day Enjoy a tour and have a cup of tea. The school takes children from 3 months old through to matric. Time: 9am. Venue: Roseway Waldorf, Alverstone Hill, Assagay. Cost: free. Contact Billie: 031 768 1309 or visit rosewaywaldorf.co.za
28 friday Good Health & Wellness Expo 2011 Learn how to live a healthier life with expert advice, health tests and more. Also 29 October. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Docklands Hotel, Durban CBD. Cost: R25 entry. Contact: 031 368 1979, 072 910 9378, or communications@fezekisacom.co.za Protect Ponta fundraiser Big Top Rock. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R150. Contact: protect.ponta@gmail.com The Drakensberg Boys’ Choir open weekend Audition to be part of the renowned Drakensberg Boys’ Choir. For Grade 3–7 boys. Time: Friday 3pm– Saturday 3:30pm. Venue: Concert venue, Drakensberg Boys’ Choir School. Cost: free. Contact Pippa: 036 468 1012 (ext 11) or admissions@dbchoir.co.za
29 saturday
22 October – Pooch Meets Play charity event
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Halloween A thrilling family experience with a maze of spider webs, bats and skeletons. You can also watch a bewitching performance by the Sea World dolphins. Also 30 October. Time: 2pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R95. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com
Hocus Pocus Halloween Get dressed up and enjoy a magic show, a witch hunt, and trick or treating. Time: 12pm–4pm. Venue: Heritage Market, Hillcrest. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 765 2500 or visit heritagehillcrest.co.za Lamda Showcase Examination entries for the Rising Star Academy 2011 London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts youth theatre performance. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Westville Theatre Club, Attercliffe Rd. Cost: R15. Contact Rising Star Academy: marketing@risingstaracademy. co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za Toddler Sense Seminar 2011 Join baby care expert Sister Anne Richardson, author of Toddler Sense, and guest speakers. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Westville Country Club, Link Rd, Westville. Cost: R290. Contact Debbie: 031 262 4962, 082 467 8236, bookings@toddlersense.co.za or visit toddlersense.co.za
FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science
Durban North. Cost: R450. Contact: 072 837 9198, emmalaunder@gmail.com or visit sugarmedurban.blogspot.com Cupcake Kids Club Fun monthly lessons about creative recipes, kitchen safety and more. For children 3 years and older. 19 October. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Cupcake Couture, 44 Cato Rd, Kloof. Cost: R400 per term, R135 per month. Contact Lana: 071 997 1266 or lana@couturecupcakes.co.za Get Ready for School programme An introduction to formal learning for Grade R learners. Time: 1:45pm–3:05pm, Tuesday; 1pm–2:20pm, Saturday. Venue: suite 125, Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R140. Contact: 031 566 1110, umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za He’s behind you… Weekly pantomime classes for Grades 5–11. Begins 10 October. Time: varies. Venue: varies. Cost: R480, including registration fee. Contact: marketing@risingstaracademy.co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za Mindnastics Helps improve self-esteem and concentration. Time: 2pm, Monday– Saturday. Venue: North Beach, Durban. Cost: R200. Contact Rookaya: 031 332 9724 or rookayavawda@mweb.co.za So you wanna be a superhero? Weekly speech and drama classes. Begins 10 October. Time: varies. Venue: varies. Cost: R380, including registration fee. Contact: marketing@risingstaracademy.co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za
family outings Books2You Fair Find popular children’s books at affordable prices. Time: 10am–3pm, 11 October; 7:30am–2pm, 12 October. Venue: Durban Girls’ College. Also at Hillcrest Christian Academy 26–27 October. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 907 1573, info@ books2you.co.za or visit books2you.co.za
Embraced by Light An exhibition of oil paintings by Jane Digby. 14–16 October. Time: opens 6pm; Saturday–Sunday walkabout 12pm. Venue: Simbithi Country Club, Shaka’s Rock. Contact: 032 946 5401
classes, talks and workshops 3D cupcake workshop Children and moms can have fun learning to decorate cupcakes. 1 October. Time: 2pm–6pm. Venue: Broadway Methodist Church,
1 October – 3D cupcake workshop
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The Inchanga Choo Choo There is a craft market and picnic area at Inchanga Station. 30 October. Time: 8:30am or 12:30pm. Venue: departs from Kloof Station. Cost: adults R150, children R120. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za uShaka Kids World Children 2–10 years old can enjoy a giant sandpit and Lego lounge. Tiny tots and parents also catered for. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: adults R5, children R40. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za
finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park Home to rare and exotic birds, with a sweet shop and play area. Time: 8am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Horseback Beach Adventures Ride through the bush or along the beach. Time: 2pm, Friday–Wednesday. Venue: Pascoe Rd, Durban South. Cost: R250–R350. Contact: 084 467 0752, horsebackbeachadventures@ gmail.com or visit horsebeachrides.co.za
holiday programmes Cook Around the World Children can cook tasty dishes from around the world. 3–14 October. Time: 9am–12pm or 2pm–5pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: Fat Cow Catering and Training School, 33 Churchill Rd, Musgrave. Cost: R250 per course, R2 000 per 10-day programme. Contact Dayle: 031 303 3742, 074 183 1663 or visit fat-cow.co.za Drumkidz Sign up for a drumming workshop, crafts and fun games. For
Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre Young and old learn to look at science in a fun way. Time: 9am–7pm, Monday–Thursday; 9am–9pm, Friday– Saturday; 9am–6pm, Sunday. Venue: upper level, Gateway. Cost: adults R25, children R29. Contact: 031 566 8040, info@sciencentre.co.za or visit sciencecentre.co.za
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children 3–8 years old. 3 October. Time: 8:30am–3pm. Venue: St Elizabeth’s Anglican Church, 45 Salisbury Ave, Westville. Cost: one session R80, all three sessions R200. Contact Karen: 082 445 7480 or visit drumkidz.co.za Holiday dance workshop Learn a new dance style every day, from the foxtrot to belly dancing, with a performance for parents on Friday. 3–7 October. Time: 10am–12:30pm. Venue: Maya Dance Company, Sunningdale. Cost: R80 a day, R300 for the week. Contact Senta: 082 829 3658 or senta@mayadance.co.za Montessori Life October Holiday Club A wholesome activity club for children 2 years and older. 3–7 October. Time: 7:30am–12:30pm, half-day; 7:30am–5pm, full day. Venue: Montessori Life, 7 Little Nook, Sunningdale. Cost: half-day R70, full day R100. Contact Nicky: 072 444 7277 Musical theatre workshop Sing, dance and act. Age groups are 7–13 years and 14–25 years. 3–8 October. Time: 10am–4:30pm. Venue: Eden College. Cost: R650. Contact Duane: 084 666 1344, info@musicaltheatreworkshop.co.za or visit musicaltheatreworkshop.co.za Sugar Bay holiday camp Game show week is 2–9 October. Time: 3pm dropoff. Venue: Zinkwazi Beach. Cost: varies. Contact: 032 485 3778, holidays@ sugarbay.co.za or visit sugarbay.co.za
markets Essenwood Market Enjoy fresh food, children’s activities and a range of stalls. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com i heart market A craft market with treats for the whole family. 1 October.
3–8 October – Musical theatre workshop
Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Contact: 079 496 4788 or thejoyteam@gmail.com Kloof Country Market Find quality products and homemade goods. 1 October. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Tina’s Hotel, Beryldene Rd, Kloof. Cost: free entry. Contact Linda: 082 454 3181 or linda@healinghandskzn.co.za Shongweni Farmers’ and Craft Market Organic and local produce and crafts. Time: 6:30am–10:am, every Saturday. Venue: cnr Kassier and Alverstone Rds, Assagay. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674 or info@shongwenimarket.co.za The Food Market Get delicious, locally produced foods. 29 October. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 084 505 0113, info@thefoodmarket.co.za or visit thefoodmarket.co.za The Litchi Orchard Farmers’ Market This covered market features live music and a children’s playground. 1 and 15 October. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Contact: 084 205 6151 or jeremy@litchiorchard.co.za
on stage and screen Big Top Rock Rock ‘n roll comes to the circus. 11 October–8 January. Time: 6:30pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R125, Tuesday and Sunday R90. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Lamda Showcase Take a picnic to enjoy while you watch the show. 29 October. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Westville Theatre Club, Attercliffe Rd. Cost: R15. Contact Rising Star Academy: marketing@risingstaracademy.co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za
The Drakensberg Boys’ Choir and Sea World’s Dolphins 21–24 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R110. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Tree Tales The trees whisper to one another; what stories do they tell? 4–7 October. Time: 10am. Venue: Under the Fig Tree Amphitheatre, Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: R25–R30. Contact Adi: 031 201 2515, 083 725 0925 or visit cherryco.co.za
playtime and story time Children’s story time A story followed by a craft or activity. For ages 3–8 years. Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. 8 and 22 October. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride. Contact: 083 284 6469
sport and physical activities Adventure Golf Time: 9am–10pm, Monday–Thursday; 9am–11pm, Friday– Sunday. Venue: The Pavilion Shopping Centre, Westville. Cost: adults R49, under 16 R43, under 7 R33. Contact: 031 265 1570 or visit adventuregolf.co.za
only for parents classes, talks and workshops Concentration Practice Course 23 October. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre, 2 Hollings Rd, Malvern. Cost: R200. Contact Phuntsog: 031 464 0984, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org
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calendar
support groups
23 October – Concentration Practice Course
Meryl’s School of Cooking Learn flop-proof recipes for dinner parties and cook with seafood. Time: varies. Venue: 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577, meryl@absamail. co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za Mom’s IT lessons Introductory and advanced computer skills. Time: 9am–12pm, every Wednesday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R140. Contact: 031 566 1110, umhlanga@computers4kids. co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za Weight loss challenge Take on this 12-week challenge on weight loss with healthy nutrition. Time: 5pm–6pm, every Tuesday; 9am–10am, every Thursday. Venue: Umhlanga Rocks. Cost: R350. Contact Tracy: 082 852 4890, tracy.mills@ telkomsa.net or visit nutritionsolutions.co.za
on stage and screen André the Hilarious Hypnotist 6–8 and 13–16 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: Sunzone, Suncoast Casino. Cost: R95. Contact: 031 328 3000 or visit suncoastcasino.co.za Bafunny Bafunny – The Odd-Shaped Ball Features comedians Trevor Noah, Mark Banks and more. 5 and 6 October. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban CBD. Cost: R120–R200. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Send the Fire: Big Band 20–23 October. Time: 8pm; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: The Stirling Theatre, The Italian Club, Durban North. Cost: R80. Contact: 076 786 1127 or bookings@stirlingtheatre.co.za Stars of the Ballet Moscow Dancers from leading Moscow ballet companies perform. 25 and 26 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: The Playhouse Opera Theatre, 231 Anton Lembede St, Durban CBD. Cost: R135– R225. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Eagles – Takin’ It Easy 11–30 October. Time: 7pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Cost: R190; R165, Tuesday and Sunday. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za
Adhasa Support Groups Meetings are irregular. Contact Stuart: 031 298 8896 or Robin: 082 499 1344 for details Cansa Support Durban North Second Tuesday of every month. Venue: Durban North Methodist Church Hall. Contact: 031 564 2510 (for Cansa support groups in other areas, call 031 205 9525) Childhood cancer parent support group Choc schedules regular support meetings. Contact Gill: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Compassionate Friends Support group for family and friends who have lost a loved one. Fourth Sunday of every month. Time: 3pm–5pm. Venue: ABSA premises, 20 Hunter St, Durban CBD. Contact: 031 335 0463 or 082 458 3663 Down Syndrome Association KZN Intuthuko support group meeting for those with Down’s syndrome and their families. 15 October. Venue: Anglican Church Hall, Umbilo Rd. Contact: 031 464 2055 or 076 978 9811 Durban Autism Support Group For mothers of children with ASD. Coffee mornings are held four times a year. Contact Di: 083 443 8385 or dimaitland@tiscali.co.za Famsa Offers family and relationship counselling. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood Hoping is Coping Support groups for those newly diagnosed with cancer, and their families. Contact: 011 646 5628, lgold@icon.co.za or visit cansa.org.za Overeaters Anonymous Where members can share solutions to the problem of compulsive overeating. Contact: 031 708 6014 or 083 456 6971 Pflag parent support group For parents of gay and lesbian children. 25 October. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Amanzimtoti Library group activities room. Cost: free. Contact Martin: 082 853 7235 Reach for Recovery breast cancer support group Meets for bring-and-share morning teas. Contact: 03l 205 9525 or 072 248 0008 Sadag For those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more info or for referral to a support group, visit sadag.co.za Speak Easy Support group for those who stutter, as well as their family and friends. Contact Imraan: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za Sugarbabe Foundation Invites parents of children with diabetes and other interested individuals to form support groups. Contact Eldice: 031 266 1280 or sgrbbfoundation@gmail.com
how to help
bump, baby & Tot in tow
classes, talks and workshops Infant massage workshops Structured baby massage helps development. Time: 2:30pm–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Lasting Impressions, 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: R550 for four sessions. Contact: 031 267 0435, 083 661 6682 or lasting.impressions.studio@gmail.com Pregnancy body stretch Exercise classes for moms-to-be. Time: 1pm, every Monday and Wednesday. Venue: Lasting Impressions, 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: one lesson R60, eight lessons R320. Contact Alison: 031 267 0435, 083 661 6682 or lasting. impressions.studio@gmail.com Toddler and nanny workshop Covering behaviour management and child development. 6 and 27 October. Time: 8:30am–9:30am. Venue: Stork’s Nest Ballito. Cost: R800 per term. Contact Cheryll: 082 857 6374 or theparents@telkomsa.net
Kloof and Highway SPCA Outreach Clinics These clinics provide animal health care and sterilisation services for underprivileged pet owners. They are in desperate need of blankets, collars, leads, food and treats for the dogs. Donations can be taken to the SPCA, 29 Village Rd, Kloof or contact Barbara: 031 764 1212/3 or visit kloofspca.co.za Orbis This is a non-profit humanitarian organisation dedicated to saving children’s sight in developing countries. They are working in sub-Saharan Africa to open paediatric eye care units and will open one in Durban this year. They also develop skills and training. To make a donation or for more information about the work they do, visit orbis.org.za
playtime and story time Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venue: Hellenic Community Centre, 6 High Grove Rd, Durban North. Cost: R80 a lesson, R800 a term. Contact Yasmin: 083 785 4332, dbn-north@clamberclub. com or visit clamberclub.com Moms and Tots and Moms and Babes workshops Children learn through play and socialisation. Time: varies. Venue: branches in Umhlanga, Durban North, Highway area and Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: info@ momsandtots.co.za or visit momsandbabes. co.za or momsandtots.co.za Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years can join age-appropriate classes to learn and play. Time: varies. Venue: branches in Durban North, Ballito, Glenwood, Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: about R810 per term. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za
support groups Moms and Babes support group Meets monthly for a talk about baby and parenting issues. 11 October. Time: 9am–10:30am. Venue: Alberlito Hospital, Ballito. Cost: free. Contact: 032 946 6956 or 032 946 1826 Mothers 2 Mothers For all moms who are finding motherhood challenging and need comfort and support. Time: 10am–11:30am, every Monday. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact Hayley: 078 640 7949 The South African Multiple Birth Association Advice and support for families coming to terms with the challenges of having twins, triplets or multiples.Contact: 082 338 2625 for counselling: kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za
Orbis
Santa Shoebox Project This initiative collects Christmas gifts for children from disadvantaged backgrounds. Donations are personalised for the individual child and include practical necessities, as well as something fun. For more information: visit santashoebox.co.za The unlimited child This organisation helps rural crèches provide for early childhood development. They give educational toys that develop cognitive and fine motor skills. It costs them R1 200 to make a difference in the lives of five children. To find out more or to make a donation contact Cassy: 031 716 9690 or visit theunlimitedchild.co.za
looking ahead Galaxy Rock A musical incorporating school, exams and intergalactic rock battles. Opening at Seabrooke’s Theatre 9 November. Contact: seabrookes@ durbanhighschool.co.za
don’t miss out! For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 5 October for the November issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za The unlimited child
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magazine durban
it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit
childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties
magazine durban
October 2011
37
last laugh
learning: a tale of two techniques SAM WILSON is forced to revise her last-minute study
b
Joe, Sam and Benj
oth of our sons are now old enough to write exams and this development has thrown up a few of our family foibles. A typical night before an exam goes something like this: “How’s the studying going?” I’ll ask, slinging my laptop bag down in the hall after work. “Did you find your notebooks okay? Did your teachers drop any hints as to what you should spot?” Andreas will look up appalled from the couch. “What do you mean by spot?” he asks, suspiciously. “Do you mean learn certain bits and... (hushed intake of breath)
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just leave others out? Is that what you are suggesting to your sons? Seriously?” The boys will look up from their books expectantly, because this is not an unfamiliar altercation and – I am told – it’s rather an amusing one. You see, I am a procrastinator married to an organised person. I don’t think Andreas has ever procrastinated in his whole life. He’s never heard the whoosh of a deadline whizzing by, or broken into that cold, 3am sweat before an exam when you realize that you are going to have to start spotting from your already narrow spot topics. The first week we met, we were hanging out in his university flat, drinking cheap white wine and eating Nik Naks (impromptu gifts have always been my forte), when the doorbell rang. “Can I borrow your chemistry notes?” asked a flustered-looking person. “Absolutely, they’re in that file,” said
Andreas, nonchalantly. “See you in the exam tomorrow.” I was gobsmacked. Never, in the history of revision, could this have ever happened before. “You’re writing chemistry tomorrow?” I asked. “And you’re fine with failing? You don’t need me to leave instantly?” Andreas looked perplexed as he closed the door. “I won’t fail,” he explained, as if to a small child, “because I’ve finished studying for that exam.” Again, this was unheard of. Who finishes studying? One studies until the adjudicator rips the sweaty notes from your grasp and hands you the exam paper. And you don’t entertain your new beau the night before. You study absolutely all night, with all the concentration you can muster, occasionally stopping to flagellate yourself with the whips of your own inadequacy. I explained this to Dreas as patiently as I could, before offering to run out and tackle the note-borrower. And it was in a
series of such mutually puzzled moments that we fell in love. So you can understand our sons’ amusement. Many’s the night I have praised them for simply remembering that they have exams the next day, while Andreas has been horrified that there should be any need to revise the night before at all. Luckily, our boys have once again appeared to escape our best efforts at botching up their upbringing. “You and Dad aren’t so different,” said Joe to me conspiratorially after one of these interchanges. “At least together you’ve taught us that while you may study a bit each day, or study all in one go, there’s never any question of not studying at all.” I thought that was a perfectly lovely thing to say. Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24.com, Parent24.com and Food24.com. She just made the deadline for this column.
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth
methods when her sons start writing exams.