The Matrix!!!

The Matrix The Matrix

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Hey everyone! First off I just want to thank you for picking up this issue of The Matrix. Being the editor this year has been a great learning experience as well as a humbling one. I became a little obsessed with the making of the Matrix. I was constantly getting excited at the prospect of adding something new to it and this issue is a culmination of my LOVE for all things empowering. This issue covers a wide variety of topics because I thought it was important to include at least one thing from everyone who submitted pieces into The Matrix. Please keep an open mind while reading and enjoy! As a little disclaimer, I or anyone who submitted to The Matrix are not experts on all the topics we cover. However a lot of research and personal experience went into providing you with an accurate depiction of things as well as solid facts. ~ Shea Gillett

What Is Consent?.......................................................................................3 What Message Is Popular Media Sending Us?......................................5,6 How Well Do You Know Womyn’s History Quiz......................................7 Looking For Some Empowering Songs?..................................................8 Bechdel Test...............................................................................................9 ENDA...........................................................................................................9 North Star Quest Camp............................................................................10 A Personal Story About The Importance Of Reproductive Justice...14 This Is What A Feminist Looks Like......................................................17 A Letter Written Uniquely For You..................................................19,20 Make Your Own Massage Oils & Body Scrubs Using Aphrodisiacs...21 What has the WRC been up to?..............................................................22

Thank you to the following people who submitted their work into The Matrix. You all rock!

Jane E. Anderson Michael De Los Angeles Menjivar Julia Damian Nikki Darling Pirate Grace James Jay Jackson, Jr. Juliane Lovich

Diamond Moebus Amber Okeh Lauren Pang Miriam Sagen Mary Sue Savage Bee Sparks Corrina Wells

Art and writings from contributors can be found throughout The Matrix

The Matrix is the official newsletter of the Women’s Resource Center which is funded by the Associated Students of Humboldt State University. The views and content of The Matrix are not censored or reviewed by the Associated Students. All correspondence regarding this publication should be addressed to: The Women’s Resource Center The Matrix Editor Humboldt State University 1 Harpst Street Arcata, Ca 95521

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All responses or letters to the editor of the Matrix will be published unedited if requested. Copies of all correspondence should be sent in writing to Associated Students, Humboldt State University.

Illustration by Michael Ray De Los Angeles Menjivar

What’s In The Matrix?

Drawing by Julia Damian

Stop gender stereotypes!

“The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, It’s a girl.” ~ Shirley Chisholm

Letter From The Editor

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Consent means that a person has enthusiastically agreed to participate in a behavior or act. This includes a right not to be acted upon by someone else (especially in a sexual manner) unless given clear permission to do so.

Silence does not mean consent.

If someone is impaired due to alcohol or drugs, it does not constitute consent (even if the person says yes).

If consent is given under duress(physical or emotional threats) it is not given freely or willingly.

For more information about consent visit the Consent Project office located in the Health Center on the HSU campus.

Only Yes Means Yes

What Is Consent?

“I’M LOST IN

Photo by Michael De Los Angeles Menjivar

DELICIOUS DAZE.” Le Morte de Romance Binaire S/he is quite lovely and I can hardly relate Her/his celestial body, her/his lustrous gaze.

Far too long I held my heart, by a damaged string, Pinned by needles, while mocking birds so sweetly sang.

My attention is drawn to her/him, oh how I wait.

Entrapped by her/his scent, I’m lost in delicious daze.

Finding one who sees the heart as more than a thing Has been a feat, the road littered with many pangs How can I approach such a precious jewel of fate?

Such that this beauty has captivated my days.

I did not expect to come ‘cross such tender wings Neither did I believe that an angel would fall for me. ~ Michael De Los Angeles Menjivar

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Drawing by Julia Damian

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Only 8% of our brain processes ads consciously.

The rest is processed subconsciously.

Commercials

We are bombarded by commercials and images of the “perfect” body type & personality daily. It makes sense tha t we begin to internalize what we see, but it is important to have a crit ical eye when viewing these commercials. Educate yourself on the ir impacts.

Check out “Killing Us Softly 4” by Dr. Jean Kilbourne to get an in depth look at the effects of media.

Watch the Dove Commercial “Evolu tion” to see what really happens to a woman to make her look cover worth y or “natural.” Let’s just say, it’s anything but natural.

In order to be considered for a Feminist Porn Award, the movie/short/website must meet at least two of the following criteria:

You Can Make A Difference Too!

1) Women and/or traditionally marginalized people were involved in the direction, production and/or conception of the work.

Seventeen magazine takes a No-Photoshop Pledge after 13 year old Julia Bluhm started an online campaign to have non airbrushed photos used in the magazine. The petition garnered over 84,000 signatures. Julia said, “If we make ourselves heard about how important Photoshop is and how much of an effect it has on girls, they’ll become more aware.”

2) The work depicts genuine pleasure, agency and desire for all performers, especially women and traditionally marginalized people.

3) The work expands the boundaries of sexual representation on film, challenges stereotypes and presents a vision that sets the content apart from most mainstream pornography. This may include depicting a diversity of desires, types of people, bodies, sexual practices, and/or an anti-racist or anti-oppression framework throughout the production.

Grand Theft Auto

Men can be sexually objectified too.

Ads sell the idea of child pornography & the idea that childlike features are sexy.

is Popular Sending Us?

Feminist Porn

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The woman in this ad is being reduced to nothing more than a body. This is called sexual objectification and it is used in a lot of commercials. They distort images so the audience views them as “just for sex.” Women are so much more than that and do not live just to satisfy others’ sexual needs.

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The idea that all w omen should be young, thin, & white has become normaliz ed.Women of color, women ol der than 40, poor women, larger women, and disabled women ar e often left out of media even thou gh they are a large part of the po pulation.

. use & rape culture Ads normalize ab e eans if we see abus Which basically m over and over we no being glamorized e with it and it longer see the issu . becomes the norm

Editor’s Note: I should mention that a lot of this information I learned taking Jennifer Taylor’s Psychology Of Women class. This is A great class to learn a wide variety of topics revolving around women’s issues and empowerment. So if you get the chance, take it!

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Put together by Lauren Pang & Shea Gillett

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A. College of William and Mary B. Oberlin Collegiate Institute C. Columbia University D. College of Charleston 3. Who was the first woman on the supreme court?

A. Sondra Day O’Connor B. Ida B. Wells C. Condoleezza Rice D. Carol Moseley Braun 4. Who is known for living and dedicating her life to chimpanzees?

A. Phyllis Wheatley B. Hildegard of Bingen C. Jane Goodall D. Elizabeth Blackwell 5. What was the 1975 Taylor V. Louisiana case?

A. An all-woman jury found that creationism must be taught in the schools.

B. Judicial recognition of women as legal persons.

C. Ruled it unconstitutional for a state to provide a nursing school for women only.

D. Ruled that states must call men and women to jury service on equal basis.

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-Selma Lagerlof

and i'm going to do big things in life believe me when i say i'm going to make it right 'cause one day i know it will be worth the strife and then maybe one day i can sleep at night whether people like it or not i'm not changing and i find it funny how people think i'm caring you guys think i don't know but i know what i'm facing and everything you want is what i'm chasing i'm going to find what i'm looking for even if i break down every door i'm not giving up until i'm lying face down on the floor and even then i'll be asking for more i live my life with love and no regrets i'm not leaving this earth until my expectations are met i want to be put to the ultimate test and even then i'll be asking "what's next?" ~NIKKI DARLING

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Looking For Some Empowering Songs?

Same Love remix - Angel Haze Body Love- Mary Lambert A Kiss Is Not A Contract - Flight of The Concords 32 Flavors- Ani Difranco Smiling- Operation Ivy Imperfection- Saving Jane

It’s important to remember while empowering ourselves, not to put down other people and genders. After all, isn’t equality what we’re all after?

Everything Is EverythingLauren Hill Pop Goes The World- The Gossip Mississipi Goddam- Nina Simone Unity- Queen Latifah Promiscuity- Ani Difranco

Imperfection is Beatiful! It’s What Makes You One of a Kind.

2. What was the first co-educational college in the U.S.?

and everyone's oblivious to fact that we die and the fact that the bible's a an oppressing lie i'd rather die than let that lie be a piece of my pie

ar jiv en

by M

A. Mary Cassatt B. Florence Nightengale C. Clara Barton D. Rachel Carson

Answer Key on the back page!

everything's a mother eff'n accident everything's fate, and it's meant it's bigger than you and me and it can't be bent i'm just living life in a pitched tent

Illus trat ion

1. Who founded The American Red Cross?

i was put on this earth for a reason and it wasn't to commit lies or treason i try to stay true through every season working diligently in life like a demon

Artwork by Miriam Sagen

How Well Do You Know Womyn’s History?

"c'est la vie"

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Bechdel Test

The Cemetery of Ephemeral Pools As I walked along the path, I noticed a following tribe of three one visible and two unseen followed me through the tangled city.

Buildings scratched the sky as sun beams trickled down.

The Bechdel test was first introduced in Alison Bechdel’s comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For. In one strip she introduces and unnamed female character that says she won’t watch a movie unless it has all the following requirements: ~ It has to have at least two women in it, ~ who talk to each other, ~ about something besides a man Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Harry Potter are just some examples of movies that fail the Bechdel Test. A lot of popular movies fail this test and the lack of female representation often goes unnoticed by viewers. That is why this test is great, it points out the oppressive state of patriarchy in our society as well as the underrepresentation of women in the media. However, this test is not perfect by any means. Movies such as The Hottie and the Nottie, Bride Wars, Bratz: The Movie, Burlesque, and Sex and the City 2 pass the Bechdel Test yet they perpetuate horrible stereotypes about women. When looking at movies, take the Bechdel Test with a grain of salt. It’s not perfect, but it will get you thinking about the lack of women’s perspective in popular movies.

Silence

No music.

Just time, and the silence that time brings and the silence that silence brings.

And sun and moon.

And earth and sea.

And fire and ice.

And planet and horizon.

And desert and tundra.

And mountain and valley.

And every little being that floats across the earth.

Every blink and every breath.

Every sigh and every tear.

The universe spoke and it told us a secret.

Silence is the joy of our thoughts drifting in the ether, waiting to be sound. ~ Amber Okeh

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People ran about preparing for a parade.

A great speaker was to come and share with us the knowledge of being.

Dancing skeletons beat the earth with their feet, their painted faces saw no moons.

I watched as they made love to the day, celebrating life in death.

Soon I became suspicious of my follower’s intentions from my pathway I did stray, in hopes of ridding them.

My efforts were to no avail for they did not hesitate to mimic me.

So I continued walking where to I did not know, until I found the place I sought.

A cemetery for the living each grave a silver pool

Light flooded them like fire and from their depths unknown did spirits rise like mist before my eyes.

To my right a spirit jumped into an empty pool it rose again, its shape replaced by a blue vapor as it floated above the pool.

Then slowly did it melt away into the void, into eternity.

Out of time, which was the pool three pyramids did rise.

Then the sun lent its rays, its dusty flames caressed the pyramids and forever there they burned.

That’s when I saw the headstone of the unknown soul, to all of us it belonged and none of us could care.

Death marked us each at birth patiently waiting for our return.

The cemetery of ephemeral pools, life-like mist before the moon visible for a moment, then gone in the next married to the eternal, we shall fall back into infinity. ~ Amber Okeh

Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) The U.S. Senate recently passed ENDA, a historic step toward achieving workplace protections for all LGBT Americans. This victory was years in the making.

What is ENDA? The Employment Non-Discrimination Act bans employers from firing, refusing to hire or discriminating against workers or job applicants based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Wasn’t it already illegal to discriminate against gay and transgender workers?

Unfortunately, not. At least not everywhere. Currently 21 states and the District of Columbia have laws prohibiting workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation. Virginia has no laws regarding sexual orientation or gender identity on the books.

North Star Quest Camp For Girls

Located in Humboldt Co unty!

North Star Quest Camp was founded by a nurse named Karen Moulton in the summer of 1996. The first camp was in August of 1997. Karen noticed that her adolescent daughters and their friends were suffering emotional and spiritual pain in great part due to the commercial, materialistic American culture. From this came a great desire to do something positive in the form of prevention. She attended a workshop by Mary Pipher author of Reviving Ophelia, and awoke the next morning at 2 a.m. inspired by a dream. She would organize a camp for adolescent girls (Grades 6th-8th)that would offer them strengths and help them tap into their own spirits as sources of strength. She wanted the camp to help them focus on their own internal “North Stars” to help light the way to fulfill their potential.

Other women of all ages who shared this vision joined with Karen for a year to create the ideas for this camp. These women gave openly and freely of their time and talents and love for the spiritual growth of these girls. North Star Quest is an incredible example of stewardship, spiritual growth and community involvement. It takes many steps of faith in regards to funding, volunteers and just making it come together. NSQ continues on because of the hundreds of women who have shared their time, support, and gifts throughout the years. Our all female staff is made up of students, moms,, and more! We work hard to fundraise all year because we will never turn a girl away for lack of money.

If you would like to donate to this amazing camp or become involved as a counselor or in any other way go to northstarquest.org or call them at 707-633-4522

NSQ is all about you: Who are you inside?

Who are you in your community?

Who are you in the world?

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have someone holding me. I try to breathe their breaths, exhale their exhaustion and consume their revival. But the weight of my heart hurts my entire body because I spent 4 hours searching for the right measurement of the capacity of the human heart trying to understand exactly how much the human heart can hold because it seems that my heart stopped holding for a while.

Stopped being weighed down but more specifically grounded by the family that I have been given and have chosen that have tightly wound and loosely strung themselves to my heart. So I floated away. Got lost in the memories because I didn’t have any strings, I had cut them free from my wrists, you can still see the scars of my searching for a reason to feel all the fucking weight of a human heart and the strings tide. But there is one string that no matter how deeply the pain seeps, how far I dig into my wrists, lungs, back, legs and body I cannot cut the string that I have not tied to myself but that my mother, lover, friends have tied to themselves.

Because I love too much, and cutting that string, isn’t my string to cut.

~Corrina Wells

Photo and Poem by Bee Sparks

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ast week I spent 4 hours searching for the right measurement of the capacity of the human heart. I have been trying to understand how much the human heart can hold. And by hold I am referring to the tightly wound and loosely strung ways that my family holds me. You see I have trouble sleeping. Sometimes it’s because I can’t breathe, other times it’s because I’ve been breathing in too much, absorbing the atmosphere and environment around me but not actually able to find the division of body to world, especially when I’ve been taking social theory classes the reinforce the constant fear that I never really existed in the first place. But see. I can’t sleep at night, and so ever since I was a little girl and my step father finally drew the line that I couldn’t sleep with my mother at night, un-coincidentally I became afraid of sleep.

Finally experienced what it meant to be alone because this was the first time I ever had a room to myself. I have always been the child that remembered. I can tell you every single kind of food that everyone in my family loves and hates and all that’s in between. I also know why my grandmother only lets me help her when I’m around and why she is so angry that there is a crease in her face from her 85 years of scowling. The same crease that is developing in between my mother’s perfectly plucked eyebrows and the one that hides behind my smile lines.

I have been the child that carries the memories around with me. The one’s that haunt my nightmares and remind me of all the ways I shouldn’t be okay. You see I have trouble sleeping. So sometimes I try to remember what it feels like to

Photo by Bee Sparks

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Ode to the Bush Your knees on either side of my face Me sucking your testosterone cock almost as hard as i can That song playing in my head.

That Mickey’s on your breath That pizza on mine.

Someone else inside your head, am i doing something wrong?

This is all I know.

Please tell me why.. ins W The W olf That e e d I can’t...

F Satisfy you enough to where...

Yo u e I s n T O h e You want...only me...But I am satisfied By... only you.

Because... i am: Young, immature, unaware, oblivious, UNABLE... or all of those things put together.

Is that why you like being around me?

Well right now i will set everything i feel and fear aside. ...And pretend that she isn’t the main thing on your mind...

Do you make me: Queer? Straight? Young? Immature? Mature? Silly? Normal? WHAT? You.. ARE PLAYING WITH MY MIND AND I ...CAN’T TELL WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO NEXT. It is our first Halloween. i love you But you miss her and what The fuck am I supposed to do, But put up this front harder than I have ever ...before.

PLEASE LEAVE ME. WILL YOU SHOW THIS TO YOUR KIDS? WILL YOU SHOW THIS TO THE NEXT GIRL? WILL YOU SHOW THIS TO THE LAST GIRL? Please love me.

This is my heart.

Please take it.

The reoccuring theme is immaturity.

So thats (apparently) all i can offer you The next move is yours because i am too damn nervous to express this in any other goddamn way but here.

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Return Careened into throes of dispirited prose Nondescript malaise Hotbed for stale’s phase Ineffable quandaries The contours of my queries Calcified and classified Precipice unanalyzed Expats the world over From quarry to apogee Keep vigil in the briar’s patch “Kiss me,” kismet!

Though something to glean From nondescript forums And putting up with inane decorums Win, lose, or withdraw?

Escape to Providence’s Parlor The Amorphous Practitioner Grants your defibrillator Odyssey’s mercy

~ Jane E. Anderson

A Personal Story About The Importance Of Reproductive Justice Condom failure. “Crew to ground control, there has been a breach in the hull, the mission is compromised.” Thats how it all started one passionate and alcohol filled night, the perfect way to bring in the new year. Seven weeks later I find myself at the local Planned Parenthood, confirming what my sore breasts and missing period tell me. Pregnant.

I go to work that day with a dark cloud over me. I know what I need to do. I go to my boyfriends after work, tell him I am pregnant and at age 20, I am not ready to have a baby. There are tears and tender words but I can tell he is relieved I don't want to keep it. What I don't say is that I don't want to have a baby with him. Charming, witty, handsome, and in an edgy band, I was instantly enamored and realized too late that he was a controlling alcoholic who was not supportive of things I wanted to do with my life. I was already tired of pretending things were ok. Things were not ok – my increasing anxiety attacks screamed to me “You are not in a healthy relationship. Launch the fucking escape pod now!” It was clear that a baby between us would make things worse, especially for me. I felt so alone. I told 2 or 3 close friends that I knew would be supportive.

I called Planned Parenthood and set up an appointment for the following week. He came with me that afternoon, riding in the passenger seat because he was hungover, smelling like a night club. He sulked into the waiting room and slumped into a seat. I was nervous and having him there 'to be supportive' didn't help. I got checked in, was ushered to the procedure room, the procedure was explained. I remember crying a little and the nurse holding my hand, her gloved hand squeezing mine was more reassuring than my boyfriend. The dim light of the recovery room was soothing and not wanting to leave, so I feigned dizziness to stay a bit longer. Reappearing in the waiting room, the afternoon light was way too bright. He was still there, looking bored and hungover. I drove us back to his apartment and laid in bed curled up in a miserable ball. He sobered up enough to make me some food and put on a movie to watch. I slept fitfully and I called in sick to work the next day.

In a few days my body recovered but I couldn't shake the moodiness that eclipsed my normally sunny disposition. I went work, went out after work with my friends, went through the motions, and I was miserable. He & I broke up a few months later. It was a drawn out dramatic affair. He threw it in my face that I had killed our baby and our future. I think that is the day I threw a dish at him, lucky for him I missed.

Even though I identified as a pro-choice feminist, I never took my situation lightly. I knew there was a growing movement to restrict women's access to the resources they need to have a real choice. I knew there were people who would call me horrible things. When I think about it now I still get angry that someone would judge me for making a decision to do what was best for myself , angry that I felt like I had to be alone and hide it. I am still angry that so many teens do not receive factual sex education. I am angry that so many women do not have access to birth control, morning after pills, or abortion services. I am angry that there is a constant legal battle against women doing what we need to do to take care of our health, safety, goals, and our dreams.

I think about what my life would have been like if I had a baby that I did not want with guy who was bad news and I have never once imagined a happy scenario. Do I have any regrets? Of course: saying yes when he asked me out and not breaking up with him sooner. I could list statistics about how one in three women have an abortion by age 45, or talk about how before Roe V Wade upper class women had access to clandestine abortions because, you know, debutants needed to save face.

But what really mattered to me is that I had the ability to do what I needed and wanted to do to take care of myself and get on with my life. What I want is that all women - regardless of race, class, religion, or immigrations status- to have access to the resources they need to take care of their lives without shame or judgement. It's called reproductive justice and it honors all choices.

~Pirate Grace

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Drawing by Julia Damian

Jane did her best to focus on her work. She was doing everything she could to push the memory of

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that horrible night into the back of her mind. She just focused on the wet head of hair sitting in front of her.

The customer is one of your typicals who frequent salons, a forty year old trophy wife who needs her annual wash and polish so she can continue to still look good while sitting on her husband’s shelves next to his diploma from USC and his high school wrestling trophies. Her visit to the salon is a standard step in the polishing procedure, and it is necessary if you still want to be one of the ways he flaunts his wealth. You could tell she was forty, but all the same she still looked good. But no matter how good she looked, there was no hiding from the fact she was forty. She knew this, but she didn’t want to think about it. All she wanted to do was flip through her ELLE and act like she was getting her hair cut for her and not her husband.

As Jane ran the comb through the trophie’s wet hair, she looked around her work place. All she saw was vanity. Not in any mean, or egomaniacal sense, this is just what they know. But everyone in the room has only one concern and one concern only, how do I look in the mirror? All the people in the chairs were here to become beautiful or to up keep their beauty, while the people working here, were already beautiful.

If you make people beautiful for a living, then you'd better make yourself beautiful to. Otherwise it would just be bad for business. That’s one of the big burdens of this occupation. You have to keep yourself beautiful, so that others can know you can make them beautiful to.

All of this beauty, and all of this vanity made Jane furious and sick to her stomach. She knew damn well, and everyone else knew for that matter, that she was the hottest piece of ass in the place. Her chest, hair, face, and ass all come together in perfect shape and proportion, naturally. And to top it off her hair and make up was the best in the place. Jane knew damn well she was the most beautiful and the best stylist in the god damned salon.

And she was the most beautiful, and she knew that’s why it happened to her, he could have chosen any of the other girls in the entire city, what happened to her could have happened to any of these girls, but it happened to her…

She shook her head, she realized she was thinking about it again so she returned to her work. She grabbed the scissors and began her trimming, following each trim with a brush through the hair. “Focus on the work, Focus on work and nothing else,” she thought.

She just repeated that over and over again in her mind.

So she just went on working, cutting the hair, applying the bleach, she has four more clients today she needs to focus on work. So she did.

She went through all the motions, working, always using her hands, keeping busy, but it just kept coming back. She replayed the entire thing every time she closes her eyes.

With every blink, she saw the entire horror from start to finish.

Three weeks ago, she woke up when she heard the thud, by the time she had opened her eyes, he just sat right on top of her, and covered her mouth with his hand. He had a ski mask and a bowie knife. It was so cliché Jane was sickened by that sight alone. He held the knife in his other palm like he was ready to thrust the blade into her heart, like a stake in a vampire’s chest.

“You will do as I say,” that was all he said. He said almost nothing, his voice was so distinct, so raspy, impossible to disguise that he didn’t want to give his victim anything to identify him with.

Jane began to pray this was just a nightmare, that this wasn’t happening. But it was, she knew it was real when he whipped it out. She knew because the pain that thing caused her was more horrible than the worst

form of torture. The physical act didn’t hurt, the piece of shit’s cock was the smallest she had ever seen. Even the arm he kept twisted behind her back to keep her from fighting back didn’t hurt to much, it was just the shame of it. The fact she was now powerless to this bastard, this man who is not a man was now in control of this girl.

She was his victim and no one else’s, His victim. She had lost her control, she knows he had his power. This is the goal of the rapist, power. And this one succeeded, he now had control over her, he has his power, and she has none. Because she was the victim.

When it was all over, he said just one other thing, “ Tell anyone, and I’ll kill you” And he was gone. And he held so much power over her, she obeyed. She didn’t leap to the phone as soon as he was gone. She didn’t run into the street screaming for help. She didn’t do anything She just got into the fetal position, and cried.

It had been three weeks since the day she lost her power.

And here she was, at the salon, like nothing happened. She was startled by almost anything.

Bianca came up from behind and asked to borrow her tray, and she flinched like she was about to get punched.

Then she heard someone talk to Beth at the front desk behind her. It couldn’t be, she thought, but she recognized the voice. “I have an appointment,” was all he said to Beth, “with someone named Jane.” She turned around, and there was her rapist. She knew it, that voice, She only heard it twice, but she knew this was the man who held the power over her. This five foot five, muscle bound, pale little prick. This was the thin dicked bastard who stole the control of her life from her. This sack of shit had ruined Jane’s life, and now here he was waltzing right into her territory, right where she was supposed to feel secure, just to gloat about making her his victim.

He thought he was being clever, but Jane knew from the second she heard that raspy voice, that she was in the presence of her tormentor, and she decided what to do.

She finally finished polishing the trophy, then sat the bastard in the chair, and tied the bib on him. “What to you want?” she asked.

“Short sides, long on top.” He said flipping through a GQ, doing his best to cover his smug evil smile.

“Smile all you want you bastard piece of shit,” she thought. “Just you fucking wait.”

Jane turned him to the mirror, while she picked up the scissors, and taking her aim in the mirror, with one swift swing of the arm, she hit her target. She stabbed the entire pair of scissors into the bastards cheek and into the red depths of his throat splitting his cheek open so wide you could see his teeth. She then ripped the scissors out the prick’s cheek, and let him fall to the ground screaming in pain.

Everyone in the salon was scared stiff. Out of nowhere Jane had just stabbed a customer in the face.

And now he was lying on the ground screaming in pain, while blood pumped out of the hole in his cheek, as if someone had struck red oil in the side of his face. Jane just stood there and smiled as he squirmed on the ground like the worm he was, vomiting and squirting blood, he had lost his control. Jane had the power know. She now held the power of taking a life, of deciding if this monster should live or die. And when he finally stopped squirming, and died, the transfer of power was complete. It didn’t matter that she was getting taken away by the police, she would tell them the truth, and eventually she’d get off, no court would convict a girl who looked like her. She had her power back. She was in control of her life again.

And he was dead.

Written by James Jay Jackson, Jr.

Photo by Michael De Los Angeles Menjivar

The Hair Dresser

Trigger Warning: Includes rape and violence

“I wrote The Hair Dresser with the intent to create more dialogue about rape and sexual violence and to question societal standards of victim blaming.”

Note From The Editor: While I think it’s important for everyone to express themselves and their feelings in any way they choose, I think it is important to point out that no one is a “victim” of abuse, but a survivor. Nor do I condone violence as a means of revenge or appearances, such as those of the “trophy wife,” as a form of oppression. There are a lot of things in this powerful piece that will spark debate and get those brilliant minds churning! Enjoy :)

What Is Victim Blaming?? It is when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act are held entirely or partially responsible for the transgressions committed against them.

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Make It Kinky!

Feeling Stressed? Check out Eight Immediate Stress Busters at medicinenet.com

This is what a feminist looks like

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Don’t be afraid of the F word. Just because you are a feminist that does not mean you are a bra burning man hater. Despite years of activism in pursuit of women’s rights, feminism is still considered by many to be a dirty word. In the mainstream media, when feminism is discussed at all, it’s most often talked about in negative or pessimistic terms. Many people do not identify themselves as a feminist (even though they share the same beliefs) because they are frightened of what the word might imply about them. That is why we must destigmatize the word feminist and educate ourselves. Actually read about womanism, liberal feminism, radical feminism, cultural feminism, antiporn feminism, pro-sex feminism, and more! You’ll find out that in some or most ways you are a feminist too.

Put Together by Shea Gillett

Want to know more about feminist ideas?

-Read “Transformations: Women, Gender & Psychology” by Mary Crawford.

Barack Obama on the cover of Ms. magazine

Amy Poehler

Barack Obama

-Watch the movie “Miss Representation” by Jennifer Siebel & also visit their new website called representationproject.org

-Watch “Codes of Gender” by Sut Jhally

Leena Dunham Leena is awesome! To quote her, “Women saying ‘I’m not a feminist’ is my greatest pet peeve. Do you believe that women should be paid the same for doing the same jobs? Do you believe that women should be allowed to leave the house? Do you think that women and men both deserve equal rights? Great, then you’re a feminist. People think there is something taboo about speaking up for feminism.”

Hand to Hold I think everyone is a little lost sometimes. looking for a hand to hold our messy complicated hearts. lips to open up our airways. fingers to trace the herstory of our bodies and show us that there are stars immersed within the scars of our tissue. and fuck. we’ve got the moon to help sort through the twisted darkness. as we try to find our way. through our madness.

Sometimes we need someone to help us untangle the veins that clasp so tightly around our hearts. to gently move within the protective layers that hurt our soul and take away our ability to breathe. To remind us that it’s okay to bleed sometimes. because. the pieces of our hearts. even as they ache, drag, and splatter across the floor. will search for each other. and form into something beautiful. like a mismatched puzzle piece kind of mess. which is fucking beautiful. ~Mary Sue Savage

“the war of love” it goes up and down from time to time season to season it changes a line moods arise from deep inside from past lives pain seems alive my soul found yours but my mind rejects it setting you to flee and my mind accepts it my soul fights and tortures me to sleep the pressure collapses causing me to weep because it goes up and down time to time year after year it changes it's rhyme moods arise from deep down inside buried past lives seem to coincide my soul screams into my ear i'm not right my mind worries about a profession in spite moods come and go in polar opposites feelings get buried deep down to the pit life depresses the soul who's unrested i wonder why it was this body i requested what business on earth have i not finished days go on causing my warmth to diminish the ache gets deeper wondering what's missing my mind confuses my soul with living it makes me go up and down time to time from buried feelings the pain seems alive you don’t know me- you never will understand never will take the time to read my hand deep down inside our souls are longing but our minds bump back causing the wanting

Justin Timberlake He was a part of the women rights campaign, ‘Real men don’t buy girls!’ Justin is also a part of multiple campaigns where he stands ground to stop human trafficking and sex slavery.

unrested souls finally are too much pain to take bodies will come together blaming fate you and i will wander forever on earth then we'll try again after another birth ~NIKKI DARLING 18

Hi there. I wanted to send you a message; maybe you’ve heard this message before, and maybe you haven’t.

You are unique in the universe. I don’t mean this in the sort of pseudo-hippy sense that “we’re all special, buddy”, but that it is factual. I’m sure you recall learning that every single human being has a different set of whorls and ridges on their fingers from every other human being - but maybe you’re thinking just in the range of nearly eight billion. It’s not just that - every human being who ever existed and who ever will exist will have a set of ridges and whorls on their fingers that is different from that of every other human being who ever has and who ever will exist. There have been approximately 108,000,000,000,000 sets of fingerprints, and yours have never been repeated and will never be. And that is merely your fingers.

Around 14,600,000,000,000 years ago (give or take a few billion) everything exploded. All the particles from common nitrogen to utterly confusing dark matter began forming things, and they have continued to form things since then. Great gaseous clouds that are the furnaces of stars, deeply compacted carbon crystals, the smell of freshly cut grass and the ability to smell and the lawnmower that cuts it, rains of mercury and molten cores and methane ice and mosses… all the things we know “The nitrogen in our DNA, the and all the things we have never known and will never know are created from these same atoms. calcium in our teeth, the iron Carl Sagan famously wrote “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our in our blood, the carbon in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in apple pies were made in the the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of star stuff.” He meant it literally - you are made from interiors of collapsing stars. this. More than that, the way in which your atoms have come together in We are made of star stuff.” this time and this place is utterly unique. Your right hand may once have had atoms from a strange tree on a planet so bizarre you wouldn’t be able to see it without practice. Your left may have atoms that arrived on this planet from meteors burning up in the atmosphere. The parts of you have been more things than one can possibly count or imagine, and still they came together in this particular time to form you.

Consider next that you are human born of a human. Regardless of how you feel about those who are blood related to you, they made you - but oh, it gets better than that. You must have two people still to make one, so each of those who made you had two, and they each had two… if we keep going back a mere sixteen generations, that is 2,768 just as utterly unique individuals who somehow loved and lived and birthed the people who are your ancestors - who each had a part in making you. Comic author Alan Moore wrote Watchmen, and had his character Dr. Manhattan state the following: “Thermodynamic miracles… events with odds against so astronomical they’re effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold.

I long to observe such a thing. And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter… Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that

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emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold… that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle.” Without having ever met you, or ever speaking to you, we are 100% certain that you are in fact a miracle.

There is so much more. If you begin delving into neurobiology you can learn how utterly unique each human being is from conception. We being learning before we remember, and ever experience we have leaves and indelible impression on our minds, which affects our actions, our understanding, the way that we actually exist in relation to ourselves and in relation to each other. It doesn’t matter how many people you have in a room - each will experience the room differently, and no one who has ever been or who ever will be will be able to experience anything in the specific way that you do. And yet, somehow, we still can communicate such complex thoughts and patterns of being and chemical states as “pain” and “joy”.

I just wanted you to know that you are unique in the universe, and that I haven’t even got to meet you yet.

Written by Diamond Moebus for someone like you Photo taken by Juliane Lovich “We Pt. 1”

Photo taken by Shea Gillett

A Letter Written Uniquely For You

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Kava Kava

Cinnamon

Aphrodisiacs

Peppermint Lavender

Rose Cacao

Make Your Own Massage Oils, Body Scrubs & More Using APHRODISIACS!

Recipe: Soothing Sensuality (lube and massage oil)

-1 part damiana -1 part peppermint -1 part kava kava -1 part “Luscious Lore” from Moonrise Herbs

-Includes damiana, passion flower, cinnamon, peppermint, orange peel, ginger, cacao, kava, rose (Add a few drops of essential oil to your liking) Directions: Place dried herbs in a jar. Meanwhile, heat the coconut oil until it turns to liquid. fill the jar with the coconut oil so it is just 1/2 in. above the herbs. Let sit for 3-4 weeks in a sunny warm spot (try to keep the oil at liquid form so that the herbs infuse better.) After the time has passed, strain with cheese cloth of a strainer. Add essential oils as desired. Let cool and it is ready to enjoy. You may want to add beeswax, this will result in a harder consistency. Enjoy as a sensual massage oil or lube.

Not recommended for use with Latex

Consent means constantly checking in with your partner.

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Passion Flower

Ginseng

Recipe: Passion Body Rub -Grapeseed oil (Can also use others such as: almond oil, olive oil, jojeba etc.)

-Beeswax -1 part damiana -1 part peppermint -1 part kava kava -1 part “Luscious Lore” from Moonrise Herbs

-Includes damiana, passion flower, cinnamon, peppermint, orange peel, ginger, cacao, kava, rose (Add a few drops of essential oil or beet powder to your liking) Directions: Place dried herbs in a jar. Fill the jar with grapeseed oil so it is about 1/2 in. above the herbs. Let sit for 3-4 weeks in a sunny warm spot, this is a sun infusion. After the time has passed, strain the mixture with a cheese cloth or strainer. Heat the infused oil at a low temperature. For each cup of oil, add 1/4 cups of grated beeswax. Slowly stir until all is melted together. Remove from heat, add essential oils as desired. Pour mixture into a jar and let stand at room temp.Until solidifies. After it cools put the lid on. Sprinkle beat powder on top for a nice touch. Lather yourself or your partner(with consent) with this passion salve.

ENJOY!!

(Vegan alternatives- soy wax, candellila wax)

What Has The

WRC Been Up To?

Menstrual Mondays

Menstrual Monday is a monthly event put on by the WRC that is centered around various things related to menstruation (Health, sex, gender, etc.)

Kink On Campus

* Nov. 18- Dec. 6 Kink on Campus is a two week long series of events relating to de-stigmatizing kinky sex, sex positivity, and body positivity. An example of some of the workshops: -Make Your Own Floggers & Consent Panties -Introduction to Impact Play -Communication and Negotiation Skills -Queering Disability -Pleasure Party -Self Pleasure Workshop

Campus Dialogue on Race Workshops

Our Environmental Justice Coordinator did a workshop that dealt with issues in regards to environmental equality and creating sustainable communities, while our Health & Body Politics Coordinator presented a workshop on Prison Abolition and the Prison Industrial Complex.

Domestic Violence Awareness Workshop

On October 23, The Women’s Resource Center created a survivor-centered safer space for everyone to come and collaborate to craft their own small zine and speak out about their experiences. It was also a place for others to bear witness. Counselors from Humboldt Domestic Violence Services and North Coast Rape Crisis Team were present for support and resources.

Answer Key from pg.7 1. C (Clara Barton) 2. B (Oberlin Collegiate Institute) 3. A (Sondra Day O’Connor) 4. C (Jane Goodall) 5. D (Ruled that states must call men and women to jury service on equal basis.)

Fall 2013 Staff, Yeah Baby!

Nandi Ortiz Corrina Wells Bea Castillo Brandy Lara Anna O’G Max Lopez

Illustration by Julian Davlin

Damiana

Erika Givens Lauren Pang Cheyenne (Shea) Gillett Mary Sue Savage- Advisor Rob Christensen- Advisor

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Find Humboldt Womyn on Facebook to stay up to date on all our activities.

A path to nothing

Each step a dreary trudging

It i s not the e n d

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The Women’s Resource Center Humboldt State University 1 Harpst Street Arcata, Ca 95521

NON-PROFIT ORG U.S. POSTAGE

PAID

PERMIT NO. 78 ARCATA, CA 95521

The Matrix

Photo taken by Juliane Lovich “The Deeps”

Photo by Lauren Pang

HSU Women’s Resource Center Magazine

3 1 0 2 l l a F

“General doll-face and his troops march in the rain” National Geographic