Loving The Skin You’re In

Cookout and family reunion season is upon us. That means seeing Aunties, Uncles, and cousins not seen recently. It also means intrusive questions time! “When are you going to settle down?” “When are you going to find a man,” or the one most often directed at women “Have you put on weight?”

It seems to almost be a given that when surrounded by extended family and friends you have not seen for years, comments about someone’s changing body will surface.

These comments often refer to weight gain or weight loss, inspiring extreme behaviors that may lead to eating disorders in the future.

During these times — and every day — it is important to take body positivity seriously. “Our world is so fat phobic and we are taught to believe that being fat is the worst thing you can be,” said Lisa Folger, a North Carolina licensed physical therapist, and an anti-diet and body image coach.

Like many women, Folger suffered through body image issues.

After having a child, Folger gained weight and began taking what she thought were the necessary steps to lose weight and become healthy.“As a health advocate, I didn’t want to be in a fat body because I didn’t want people to look at me and discredit me,” said Fogler.

“I was exercising seven days a week. I was eating my food in small containers to limit my portions, I was going to bed every night hungry. My habits were bordering on an eating disorder,” she continued.

After this extreme behavior, Fogler lost 20 pounds, but once she cut back to a less extreme routine, the weight came back. “I did not understand that what I was doing all these years by dieting and restricting my calories and over-exercising was probably making me gain more weight, which I did learn was the case, and to really mess with my body’s metabolism so that I couldn’t lose weight anyway. Additionally, I was focused so much on weight, I wasn’t thinking about how I am actually healthy,” said Fogler.

Her personal experience and the continuous extreme habits others go through to chase a size is the reason behind what she does: teaching others to accept their bodies and help them make healthy decisions.

According to Fogler, when thinking about your size the main concern should be whether you’re healthy or not. Most importantly, learn to love the skin you are in.

“What people don’t realize is just because you think your body should be a certain size, just because you come up with an imaginary goal weight does not mean that metabolically and genetically, that’s what your body is supposed to be and do,” Fogler said.

“Weight is not indicative of health status. As a matter of fact, in the medical field, a lot of people don’t know this, but when you see a patient and they have had a somewhat drastic weight loss, it is a red flag. Like we have to ask more questions and be like, okay, wait, because is this cancer? Is it some autoimmune disease?” She continued.

Fogler learned to have a different approach to her health through a book called Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, by Lindo Bacon. The book shares how being fat isn’t the problem but how dieting is.

As a body image coach and health advocate, Fogler discourages diets and addresses problems within the body individually. “I do not encourage any intention or weight loss for any reason. What I do encourage is changing healthy behaviors to improve your mobility. I don’t believe that it is the weight alone that is stopping people from getting up and moving. Getting down the street, walking, you know, doing the things you want to do,” said Fogler. “I encourage focusing on health, promoting behaviors that will help you live a more fulfilling life. So if you’re having trouble walking, then we work on that. We work on strengthening the muscles in your body that appear to be weak, that is limiting your walking,” she continued.

Though body positivity continues to be encouraged, society’s way of thinking can sometimes challenge the progress women everywhere make.

So what can one do to fight the stigma of weight? Here are some ideas:

Hire a body coach. Wear that dress/outfit. Appreciate your body, take a good look at it, be happy you are healthy. Ignore the critics. Focus on your health, do not worry about the size.

So, if you find yourself on the receiving end of those “weight” comments let that person know you are “loving the skin you’re in!”