Charleston Woman Magazine by Charleston Woman

FALL 2013

COMPLIMENTARY

CELEBRATING, MOTIVATING, AND EDUCATING WOMEN

Real

TWO TIME SURVIVOR Joe Bates shares his experience of beating the odds more than once

MY FAIRY TALE

WEDDING Jordan Truesdale Urban shares

details from her special day with us!

In this Issue

From the Editor

Celebrating the Survivor in You!

www.charlestonwomanonline.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Lori Samples Duncan loriduncan86@gmail.com

MEDIA REPRESENTATIVE Melissa Cooper and Crystal Poston info@woman2womanonline.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Lori Samples Duncan Dr. James T. Martin, Jr. Beth McCrary Melissa Pelkey-Hass Amy Pittsenbarger Dr. Nichole Quinn Jordan Truesdale Urban Rachel-Elise Weems

COVER PHOTO

Clark Berry Photography

DESIGN Melissa W. Morris

PHOTOGRAPHY Clark Berry Photography Tammy Bevins Photography

2 ‘Tis the Season

Events

3 What’s Happening?

Let’s Talk

4 5 6 8

Children’s Museum of the Lowcountry Offers Play for All Through SuperStars! Recipe: Turkey Sausage, Spinach & Mushroom Roasted Acorn Squash Meet Gospel Singer Lily Isaacs Food for the Soul

10 Two Time Survivor: Surviving, Thriving, and Never Giving Up

Let’s Talk Love Stories

14 My Fairy Tale 17 The Bloom of a Perfect Day

Professional

18 The Journey More Than the Photographs

Health & Wellness

21 22 23 25

Have You Lost that Loving Feeling? Friends For Life Can Help Us Win the Fight Dealing with Holiday Stress Ending the Embarrassment

Business & Web Directory 27 Contact our Advertisers

Personal Note Find us on facebook!

28 A Daddy’s Love

Charleston Woman Magazine Woman 2 Woman Publishing (803) 785-4475 602 Northwood Road Lexington, SC 29072

Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication. However, the publisher cannot assume responsibility for errors or omissions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission. © 2013

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his issue of Charleston Woman is not our “traditional” holiday issue, however, I think it’s a really special issue. Holidays are a time of love, giving, and unselfishness so in the spirit of that, we celebrate the coming together of two special families. You will read about a couple who have built a successful business together, a family who have built their livelihood around music, a survivor and his love who literally shine their light on others, and much more. Seasons come and go and this year is no exception, it was almost hard to tell the summer from the spring. Our school district is racing toward the Christmas Break and before you know it, we will be celebrating another class of graduates. Thank you for all the wonderful feedback you provide us with about each issue of Charleston Woman Magazine. We are blessed to be a part of this fine community. Like us on Facebook for some great holiday giveaways and read previous issues online at www.charlestonwomanonline.com. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! See you again in 2014! Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Lori Samples Duncan Editor-in-Chief

Celebrating, Motivating and Educating

Real Women Women

Events

What’s HAPPENING? 2013 Holiday Festival of Lights November 8 – December 31 at 6:30 p.m. James Island County Park, Charleston

Let the spirit of the season embrace you as James Island County Park comes alive with illumination at Charleston’s most beloved nighttime event! This threemile driving tour delivers more every year, with over 750 shining displays. But the Holiday Festival of Lights is also much more than just a driving tour –park the car and experience exciting attractions custom-designed for holiday cheer. For more information, including event hours, fees, and the most up-to-date events schedules, call (843) 795-4386 or visit the website below. www.holidayfestivaloflights.com

Lights Before Christmas November 22 – December 30 (closed Nov. 28, Dec. 24 and 25), 5–9 p.m. Riverbanks Zoo and Gardens, Columbia

Experience Columbia’s longest running holiday tradition—the 26th annual Lights Before Christmas at Riverbanks Zoo and Garden. The Zoo will light up each evening with more than one million twinkling lights and countless animated images representing some of Riverbanks’ most loveable residents. Guests can roast marshmallows at the jingle bell bonfire, visit with Santa and enjoy the festive sounds of the Music in Motion lights spectacular. Riverbanks is also the only place in town where it snows every night! You can buy tickets in advance at the Zoo. Tickets for adults are $10, Children from 3-12 are $8 and children under 3 are free. www.riverbanks.org

Snowville! November 23 – February 23 EdVenture, Columbia

Our most popular seasonal exhibit is cooler than ever! Strap on some ice skates and pack your mittens for a frosty, fun-filled trip to Snowville. Starting November 23, every day is a SNOW DAY at EdVenture! Crawl through an ice tunnel, climb a snow-capped mountain, sled down a snowy hill, or visit the Penguin Observation Station. Free with museum admission. www.edventure.org

The Charleston Christmas Special December 6-8, 10, 12-15, 19-22, at 7 p.m. Charleston Music Hall, Charleston

Seen by over 9,000 people each year, this year’s show will once again be ALL NEW and filled with more of your favorite holiday songs and dances. This show sells out, so get your tickets early! For more information call (843) 853-2252 or purchase tickets online at the website below. www.charlestonmusichall.com

Aiken Women’s Expo December 7, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Family YMCA, Aiken

Come join Woman 2 Woman Publications for this free event featuring a survivor fashion show, vendors, live music, and food.

31st Annual Low-Country Oyster Festival January 26, 10:30 a.m. – 5 p.m. Boone Hall Plantation, Mount Pleasant

The Lowcountry Oyster Festival is the world’s largest oyster festival and has been named one of the “top 20 events in the southeast” by Southeastern Tourism Society. Highlights include the legendary “Oyster Shucking” and “Oyster Eating” Contests, live music on the main stage, wine, a selection of domestic and imported beers, a Children’s Area and a “Food Court” showcasing a variety of local favorite restaurants to satisfy everyone’s taste. The Lowcountry Oyster Festival is a charity fundraiser benefiting: The Ronald McDonald House, Hospitality Heroes, Hollings Cancer Center, Shriners Hospitals for Children and Charleston County Schools Science Materials Resource Center. For more information, call (843) 577-4030 or visit the website below. www.charlestonrestaurantassociation.com

Antiques in the Heart of Aiken January 31 – February 2, 2014 122 Laurens Street, SW, Aiken

Experience an extraordinary stroll though the world of decorative arts as the The Aiken Center for the Arts (ACC) presents an incredible array of antique exhibitors from across the country with unique and high quality pieces. All proceeds from event sponsorship go to benefit the ACC as it continues its journey to promote arts education and awareness into the 42nd year. www.aikencenterforthearts.org

Stressed? We can help! Total Family Wellness Quality Chiropractic Care for the Whole Fa mily

www.facebook.com/ drnicholequinn

Mention this ad and receive a $30 for stress consultation with the doctor and one hour massage with licensed massage therapist

Back Pain • Headaches • Stress • Pregnancy Induced Back Pain • Massage Therapy We can help! New hours to serve you better - Monday through Friday appointments available. Give us a call at (843) 641-7075 for a FREE consultation with Dr. Quinn and get started living a healthier happier life! www.scfamilywellness.com • 2070 Northbrook Blvd, Suite B-5 • North Charleston, SC 29406

Dr. Nichole Quinn

Family Friendly Chiropractor

www.charlestonwomanonline.com

Let’s Talk

Children’s Museum of the Lowcountry Offers

Play for All Through SuperStars!

very child is a passionate learner and player, but many with special needs experience a hard time with abstract thinking, sensory overloads, transitions and social communications. Often, it is difficult to find places to go where the entire family can have fun without worrying about their child’s behavior and other people’s reactions. The Children’s Museum of the Lowcountry (CML) is dedicated to enriching the lives of all children by fostering a love of learning and enabling each child to realize his or her highest potential through its FREE bi-monthly program SuperStars!

At the Children’s Museum of the Lowcountry, play is learning and learning is play. CML believes that play is essential to the educational development of ALL children, regardless of challenges such as autism, developmental delays or physical disabilities. CML has proven to be a critical partner for the special needs community. Participants come from across the Charleston Tri-county area at the suggestion of their doctors, therapists, teachers and hospitals. CML’s Education Committee developed the SuperStars! program with special education teachers, hospitals, and organizations that

help improve the overall wellness of special needs children.

Celebrating, Motivating and Educating

Real

The FREE SuperStars! program is offered twice monthly on Sunday mornings for two hours at no cost to families. Interested families may register online at www.explorecml. org. Special needs partners ensure a stimulating experience and lead planned activities that are designed to encourage participants to learn through play at their own pace, build self-confidence and discover their natural talents. Using CML as an alternative play environment, children can hone fine and gross motor skills through

Women

play, learn forces and motion in RaceWays, explore a multi-story medieval castle and shop for “real” groceries. Now that the program is offered more frequently, repetition will build confidence. Super Stars serves as a gathering spot for families of special needs children. A leading specialist attends sessions to share information, cutting-edge research and activities. Families receive beneficial information from healthcare partners and learn how to be the best caregiver for their child. Teaching nurturing habits will help foster a healthy home environment and

will translate into more confidence for the special needs child. Families return to the program as they observe positive growth in their children. The Children’s Museum of the Lowcountry is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization with a mission to engage young children’s potential by inviting families of all backgrounds to explore environments and experiences that spark imagination and stimulate curiosity through the power of play. Open Tuesday through Saturday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sundays from 12 p.m. to 5 p.m. Admission is $10 per person, $8 for SC Residents and free for children less than 12 months of age. For more information, visit www.explorecml.org.

Turkey Sausage, Spinach & Mushroom

Roasted Acorn Squash

One of my most favorite things about my recent move to Georgia was the availability of CSA boxes from the local farmers. I was so very excited to pick up my first box, tear off the top and dig right in! It was like a world of recipe ideas came flooding in with each item I carefully removed from the box.

by Melissa Pelkey-Hass

Yesterday, I picked up our CSA box and as usual couldn’t wait to see what goodies were in store. I anxiously unloaded my precious cargo from the truck, and carefully placed it on the table. On top were the usual suspects of pears, oranges, apples and bananas. I was a little more excited than usual to see honey crisp apples this go ’round as I really want to bake an apple cake later this week. I keep digging and could NOT contain my excitement when I found two little precious acorn squash! I immediately knew what these would become as I had a recipe in my head all week just ready and waiting for this box! I hope you enjoy these as much as we did. They’re a keeper!

Ingredients: • Four Acorn Squash – halved with seeds removed • Extra Virgin Olive Oil • Salt & Pepper to taste • White balsamic vinegar • ½ container cherry tomatoes, halved • 1 pound turkey sausage • ½ bag of baby spinach • ½ diced onion • 1 diced apple • 1 small container sliced mushrooms • 1 tbsp fresh Thyme • 1 tbsp Caraway seed • 1 tbsp Fennel Seed • ½ tsp Sage • 1 ball fresh mozzarella – rough cut into small chunks Drizzle olive oil and vinegar over the pulp side of the squash. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Place squash on a greased baking sheet, flesh side down. Add cherry tomatoes to the pan. Add about ¼ water to the pan. Roast in a 400 degree oven for about 45 minutes. Remove from oven and turn squash upright. In a skillet, brown the sausage adding all other ingredients, except cheese. Sauté until vegetables are crisp tender. Remove from heat, add roasted cherry tomatoes and stir in cheese chunks. Fill each squash with the stuffing mix, then bake for 10 additional minutes. These squash have a wonderful fall flavor and freeze well for quick weeknight meals. I like easy y’all. Bon appetit!

To find more great recipes and to follow Melissa Pelkey-Hass, visit

www.thefrontporchgourmet.wordpress.com

www.charlestonwomanonline.com

MEET GOSPEL SINGER

LILY ISAACS

by Lori Samples Duncan

ily Isaacs’ story is not that of a typical gospel singer. The daughter of Polish Jews who were victims of the holocaust while they were teenagers, alone, makes this an interesting story. I was caught up in her strength from the moment we began talking. Lily shared how most of her parents’ family was killed during World War II. Both of her parents were liberated from concentration camps and were familiar with each other’s families, who had ended up in a French Army relief camp together. After marrying, her parents brought Lily Issacs into the world in 1947 in Munich Germany. Her parents knew their lives would never be the same after seeing the Statue of Liberty as they sailed through the Harbor on the SS General One when she was just a couple of years old. “I feel so indebted to America and to know that we can receive refugees from across the world to create a new life. I am very patriotic about that part of what happens to people,” shares Lily. She told me how her parents went to night school to learn English, and her father learned to be a baker. While her story is inspiring, it is not without grief and challenges. Lily suspects it is the overwhelming sadness and grief of what transpired in the concentration camps that led her father to alcoholism, changing

Celebrating, Motivating and Educating

‘I feel so indebted to America and to know that we can receive refugees from across the world to create a new life.’ Real

Women

Let’s Talk him in ways that were not favorable. Her mother, who felt a sense of freedom in America, wound up having an affair: “We battled with a broken family. My parents stayed together, but my childhood was not great.” As Lily found herself taking on the role of protector, her only escape was in performing arts. At 12 years old, she was diagnosed with Scoliosis. This diagnosis and a back brace led to self-esteem issues. Acting was her outlet. Lily graduated high school with a theater arts award. Attending Queens College majoring in Theater arts, she landed a spot on Broadway for a Shakespearean play the summer she graduated. After taking many classes and studying in various cities, it was while she was in Pittsburg that Lily and her roommate formed a duet and decided to take their show to New York. At one of those performances, a talent scout from Columbia Records was in the audience. In 1967, the two young ladies released an album titled “Lily and Maria.” While playing to promote the album, she met her former husband, Joe Isaacs. He was playing banjo for the Green Briar Boys – a young bluegrass boy band from Kentucky. According to Lily, he was quite the handsome banjo player. He was a cowboy from Kentucky, but because his last name was Isaacs, Lily mistakenly thought Joe was

Jewish. Two years later, Lily gave up her singing career and married Joe Isaacs. It was only then she discovered that not only was her husband not Jewish, but the son of a Pentecostal preacher. When the death of Joe’s brother sent their little family to Kentucky for a funeral, Lily’s life was forever changed. After the funeral, the family decided to go to church together before everyone returned to their homes. “That night I saw something that I had never seen before and that was a community of people that loved and supported each other,” remembers Lily. “I opened up my heart to receive what God had for me and realized that there had been a void there all of my life. I never knew what it was and that was Jesus. I prayed that night in my own prayer because I was devastated by the funeral and the emotion, but I believe that night God saw my heart and saw my need for him. That was the beginning. Over the next few months I found Jesus to be my Messiah and it was an amazing discovery to find out Jesus was Jewish just like me.” It was after this life altering experience that Joe and Lily began to sing gospel music. They worked at various other jobs within the church and as word spread, other churches began to invite them to share and sing with their congregations. It was after the birth of her children that Lily’s parents found out about

her conversion, threatening to disown her if she did not give up her new found faith. “My father said he would rather see me walk the streets or be dead and buried in the grave instead of being a reproach to my people. Coming from holocaust parents, I only wanted to give them joy and pleasure and simply did not know what to do. I was in a moment in my life where I had to make some really serious choices. I had found so much joy in God that I decided to take my chances.” It was two years before her parents would receive her back into their home. It was a very trying time for Lily, but during that time she discovered who she really was in her faith. Lily and Joe’s children were born into their ministry. They sang as little ones and as they grew older, they played instruments and began to write songs. For many years, Lily enjoyed that life of traveling with her husband and family. Her divorce from husband Joe in the late nineties was devastating to her but she picked herself up and moved on. There is so much more to Lily’s story, a back surgery for her scoliosis and a battle with breast cancer, yes she is a 30 year breast cancer survivor in addition to everything she has been through. She is blessed to get to continue to travel with her “amazing” children

who all have careers of their own and she has been writing her autobiography for the last five to six years. It is being published by New Leaf Press. “You Don’t Cry Out Loud” This was her mother’s statement when she was talking about her World War II experiences. When I asked Lily what she wanted to share about the book and to our readers she said, “There is a lot of detail about my childhood and what brought me to where I am today. We have traveled world-wide as the Isaacs (my children and I). We have traveled with the Gaithers for the last fifteen years and have been in almost all of their videos. We have had so many wonderful opportunities in the last 40 years leading us up to where we are today. I feel truly blessed that God has allowed us to minister and do the things that we do now. I do not take any of it for granted. We have worked hard, prayed hard, and we just want to be a blessing. To the women in the world today “Through divorce, through cancer, through abusive childhood, through traumatic childhood, through any type of situation in life if you have the fight in you and you have God on your side you can make it.” You can see Lily and her children at the Colonial Life Arena on December 6th at the Bill Gaither Christmas homecoming tour 2013.

www.charlestonwomanonline.com

FOOD for the SOUL

by Amy Pittsenbarger photos by Robert Patrick Image Design

ike and Charlotte Easler are in many ways, an ordinary couple. They have been married for twenty years this coming April and are the proud parents of two children, Evans, 15, and Karis, nine. As the Easlers put it, “As a family we enjoy biking and we’re excellent beach bums!” But where the Easlers are extraordinary is in their business, The Crescent Olive, a provider of premium olive oils and vinegars. They say that they have always loved entertaining friends and family with dinner parties and were intrigued with the idea of having a store that was focused around one product. The Crescent Olive has locations in both Columbia, which opened in September 2012, and Mount Pleasant, which opened in July 2013. “We specialize in ultra premium extra virgin olive oils, flavor-infused oils, and aged balsamic vinegars. In addition to these 50+ choices, we also have pastas, olives, spices, sea salts, jams, rice, grits, hand-made pottery, paintings, a skin-care line, made-to-order gift baskets, and other gift items,” says the Easlers.

Since Mike and Charlotte own The Crescent Olive together, I asked them if it was ever a challenge to work with your spouse: “It’s great having your partner in life as your partner in business. You can’t compete with the ‘trust factor’! We thrive on bouncing ideas and tasks off of each other. We each have different strengths and rely on the expertise of each other to accomplish

the tasks of running our business. We have always enjoyed our time together and we enjoy involving our kids in the “family business”. As small business owners, we’re never really off the clock, but we work hard to balance time with our kids and our home life,” the couple says.

Celebrating, Motivating and Educating

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The Easlers say they always aim to Women

meet their individual customer’s wants and needs – it’s a luxury that local businesses have! They are devoted to making sure that their customers are well informed about all that olive oils and vinegars can offer. “We enjoy teaching our customers how to do an olive oil tasting (similar to a wine tasting), we’ll mix different oils and vinegars for them to taste with ciabatta bread,

so they can make their selections, and we always have ice cream that our customers can use to sample our dark balsamics!” They say, “We’re good southerners, we’ll feed you the entire time you’re in our store! This business has lent us the opportunity to learn new ways to incorporate our products in our diet not only to improve the flavor, but for the health benefits. We tell

’TisThe Season...

HAPPY OLIVE DAYs

The Easler Family our customers, “Tweak the diet, keep the flavor”,” says the Easlers. We then bottle their selection from the fusti from which they sampled,” says the Easlers. The Crescent Olive’s products come from both hemispheres of the world. Currently, they have southern hemisphere oils from Australia, Chile, Peru, and South Africa. Northern hemisphere oils will be available again in January and February. Plus, the recipe section of The Crescent Olive’s website contains a lengthy list of recipes, ranging from chipotle hummus to herb roasted lamb chops. “We continuously add new recipes which are obtained from a Holistic Nutritionist (who happens to be a good friend of ours – Rebekah Fedrowitz), as well as customer submissions. We’re always looking for the next great recipe using our oils and vinegars!”

ronment. “We look forward to working with our local schools and charitable organizations to help them with their fund-raising efforts…. In addition to helping our community, we also help the environment through our bottling recycling efforts. Customers can bring back their “clean” bottles for a refill and receive $1 off per refilled bottle.” The Easlers also work to promote a lifestyle of healthy eating: “The first question we pose to our customers is ‘What do you like to eat?’ From that point, we start making suggestions to easily incorporate our products into their diet…. and since we love our butter in the south, we encourage our customers to replace their table butter with our Butter Flavor Olive Oil that is made with seven different plant extracts to create a butter flavor. It is vegetarian and dairyfree, making it a much healthier choice.” If you are interested in learning more about The Crescent Olive, visit their website at www. thecrescentolive.com or contact them at info@ thecrescentolive.com.

The Easlers say they always aim to meet their individual customer’s wants and needs – it’s a luxury that local businesses have!

Mike and Charlotte believe very much in giving back to their community and to the envi-

EST. 2012

•

• The Shoppes at Seaside Farms 1952 Long Grove Drive, Suite 1 843.388.0975 www.thecrescentolive.com www.charlestonwomanonline.com

TWO TIME Survivor Surviving, Thriving, and Never Giving Up

by Beth McCrary

oe and Erin Bates were connected through prayer long before they ever met. While Erin was still in her motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s womb, her mother prayed fervently for the man that Erin would one day marry. Little did she know that the man her daughter would grow up and marry was fighting for his life in Ohio at the very same time she was praying in Virginia.

Real WomenWoma n c e l e b r a t e s t h e s u r v i vo r i n yo u Charleston

Celebrating, Motivating and Educating

Celebrating the The following is Joe and Erin’s story. It is a story of triumph over tragedy, unconditional love, victory and celebration. For Joe Bates, October 25, 1980 started like a typical Saturday. Joe had spent the night with his best friend, Kevin Silvers in his hometown of Union, SC. He and Kevin were up early on that Saturday morning to complete a list of chores left by Kevin’s mom. One of the chores on the list was to rake and bag leaves. Joe decided that using the push mower with the bagger would be the quickest way to get the job done. Joe’s next steps would change his life forever. Joe stepped into a utility room with a gas can in his hand and the next thing he remembered was being engulfed in flames. The fumes from the gas can had been ignited from the pilot light for the hot water heater causing a tremendous explosion that shook the entire house. Unaware what had happened, Joe remembers thinking that he was doomed, but his friend Kevin instinctively ran into the burning room and pulled him out. Joe fell to the ground and began rolling as Kevin squirted him with the water hose to extinguish the flames still on Joe’s body. “My best friend saved my life”. Joe was immediately rushed to Wallace Thompson Hospital in Union where his family was told that he would most likely not survive. He was then transferred to the Charleston Burn Unit where he spent two nights. The doctors there told Joe’s parents that the only thing they could do, was to keep Joe drugged and as comfortable as they could until he died. While in Charleston, someone mentioned the Shriner’s Burn Hospital for Children to Joe’s mom. She contacted the Union Shrine Club and two hours later Joe was on an emergency flight to Cincinnati, Ohio. Joe recounts, “The doctors there restored hope in my parents that I may survive.”

charged from the Shriner’s Burn Hospital in Cincinnati on July 31, 1981. He returned to his hometown of Union, SC to hundreds of people from his community waiting to welcome him home. The mayor of Union proclaimed July 31st “Joe Bates Day”. It would be a short stay at home as Joe had to return to Cincinnati to continue his recovery and treatment. Joe continued to have reconstructive surgeries, therapy and rehabilitation for the next 10 years. In all, he had over 100 surgeries. Physically, the flames left 3rd degree burn scars on over 92% of Joe’s body and caused amputations of most of Joe’s fingers on both hands. His right leg is amputated below the knee and he has to wear a prosthetic leg to be able to walk. His left foot is fused at the ankle which makes it painful to walk or stand for long periods of time. But the flames did not dampen Joe’s spirit. He believes he is a stronger person to have gone through all that he did. “My dad used to say, ‘What don’t kill us makes us stronger.’ I am grateful to be alive. The best years of my life came after the flames.”

Survivor in You!

of the many trips back and forth to Cincinnati, Ohio. He was able to return to school his sophomore year of high school and went on to graduate from Union High School in 1985. After graduation, Joe moved to Columbia, SC to pursue a career in multi-track recording. He studied the art and business of multi-track recording at Masterphase Recording Studio in Columbia and received a 2 year degree. It was in 1998 while working at Musician’s Supply that Joe Bates and Erin Hartman’s paths crossed at a company gathering. Erin had traveled from the Lexington location to the Northeast location to see the recent renovations. Joe remembers that Erin walked in, gravitated quickly to the acoustic guitars, picked one up and began to play and sing. He joined her and they literally started playing music together and jamming for hours the first time they met. Joe was awestruck with her musical ability and her beautiful voice. He also says she was so dang pretty that he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. They quickly developed a friendship through their mutual love of music and eventually fell in love with each other. Erin says there was an instant connection between her and Joe. “Right off the bat I had to know this man. He was so confident and kind. I wanted to know what makes him tick. He had such an infectious spirit.”

My dad used to say, ‘What don’t kill us makes us stronger.’ I am grateful to be alive. The best years of my life came after the flames.

For Joe’s mother, Ruth, there was never any doubt that Joe would indeed survive and one day thrive. Joe recalls that his mother fought in the trenches with him every step of the way and never gave up on him. “Mom was my hero. She stayed by my side for 9 months in a big city far away from everything and everyone she knew.” While Joe’s doctors also had little hope that he would ever be able to walk again, make it on his own or play the guitar, Ruth didn’t. She never doubted or lost hope.

During the time that Joe was receiving treatment in the Intensive Care Unit, he was able to keep up with his schoolwork thanks to his teacher and good friend Joe Wilmers. “He would lie under my bed when I had to be turned face down in the Striker Frame. My face fit through an opening in the special bed that turned me every four hours from face-up to face-down. I was wrapped from head to toe in burn cotton and dressings that were held together with large metal clamps that had to be cut away with large wire cutters. Mr. Wilmers helped to keep my mind focused on things that a 13 year old boy should be learning and thinking about and not about my situation. “I am truly grateful for people in my life like Joe Wilmers who inspired me to overcome the obstacles in my life and never give up. He is one of many great people that I have met on my journey.”

After an initial hospital stay of 9 months and 4 days (6 of those months in ICU), Joe was dis-

When Joe returned home to South Carolina he was homeschooled for a year and half because

Erin and Joe were married on June 17, 2000 in the gardens maintained by Joe’s mother on her property in Union. It was a very simple ceremony with family and friends followed by a big party with lots of music. Joe and Erin are now the parents of two awesome children. Their son Luke will turn 13 in January and on any given day is either a rising baseball star or rock star. Joe says it is hard to tell quite yet. Their daughter Josie is 10 years old, loves to skate and is on a roller derby team. She also loves to sing and play the keyboard and dreams of going on American Idol one day. Joe says, “They teach me something new every day.” While their own wedding ceremony was simple and quaint, Joe helped launch and grow Ambient Media, a company that specializes in www.charlestonwomanonline.com

Celebrating the

Survivor in You! light and sound lighting design for big weddings and events. Erin and Joe have built a life together around their love of music and a shared faith despite coming from different backgrounds. Besides parenting together, their greatest joy is writing and playing music together. Over the years, Joe and Erin have been a part of several bands including Jumpstart and Shot of Love. Through these band projects they have met and played with some of the finest musicians that have become their closest friends. They are also passing their love of music to Luke and Josie. Not only do Joe and Erin parent together, work together, and play music together, they also fundraise together. Their passion is raising awareness of the Shriner’s Hospital and raising money to support the Shriner’s efforts through SOS – Support our Shriners. Joe is quick to give full credit to the Shriner’s for not only saving his life, but keeping his spirit intact. When asked about the impact of receiving treatment at the Shriner’s Hospital, Joe shared, “Shriner’s Hospital for Children saved my life and helped keep my spirit intact through the long painful process. It takes a special kind of care to treat a child with a birth defect or injury from a tragedy and the Shriner’s have figured it out. There would have been no way that my family could have afforded such quality care, but the Shriner’s Hospital never asked for a red cent.” Joe’s survivor story also includes cancer. He is actually a two time survivor. Joe was diagnosed with colon cancer in January of 2012, had surgery to remove part of his colon and endured 6 months of chemotherapy to battle and beat cancer. Just two weeks after Joe’s cancer diagnosis, his beloved mother Ruth was also diagnosed with cancer. A large tumor was found deep in the left side of her

Celebrating, Motivating and Educating

Real

Women

Joe gives all the credit for surviving and being the man he is today to the women in his life. brain along with two smaller tumors on the surface of her brain. A biopsy of one of the surface tumors determined that she had stage 4 lung cancer that had metastasized to the brain and other parts of her body. Joe and his mother battled cancer together for months before she lost her battle on July 27, 2012. Prior to her passing, she said her greatest victory would be when Joe got to ring the bell that signifies being cancer free. Joe got to ring the bell on January 30, 2013. In spite of all he has endured, Joe says that life is good. He remembers looking in the mirror after his accident and struggling with what he saw. He made a decision to not let the reflection define him. Joe believes that God has a purpose for his life that is not yet fulfilled and that is why he is still alive. He also believes that God used the explosion that left him burned and scarred to set him on a new course in life that led him to Erin. Joe gives all the credit for surviving and being the man he is today to the women in his life. His mother Ruth and his wife Erin have taught him to love family unconditionally and anyone in need. He hopes his story of being a two time survivor and finding love will inspire others to triumph over their own tragedies and perhaps find love. Beth McCrary is a freelance writer living in Lexington, SC. Her father Larry Gar was a devoted member of the Hejaz Shrine Temple and the Laurens County Shrine Club.

Let There Be Light

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My FAIRY TALE 14

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Let’s Talk Love Stories

obert and I have a pretty perfect story. It is uniquely ours and a testimony to God’s love for us.

Mom and dad always told me that God had someone special picked out for me. I am now a believer in that truth. I do not believe in coincidences, I believe His hand directs us daily because that is exactly what happened to me and Robert. Our paths crossed often in high school and college but it was not until our senior year at the University of South Carolina that we realized there was a definite reason we kept running into each other. We both were taking a Spanish class in the same room just back to back times. Robert is always early for everything so he was always waiting for his class when mine was dismissed. I looked forward to seeing him and got butterflies each time. He always looked so handsome. That was the end of wearing gym clothes to class! A few months after graduation, on a night out with friends we spotted each other across the room. I remember the adrenaline and excitement I felt when I saw him. I had never felt that way before. It was then I knew I wanted to be with Robert. We enjoyed our night and said goodbye once again but recognized the spark.

by Jordan Truesdale Urban photos by Clark Berry Photography

my life. The day was perfect. The weather was crisp and family and friends were celebrating a Gamecock win in the shadows of William Brice Stadium. As the sun was setting my Prince Charming took me for a walk, pulled out a beautiful diamond ring and asked me to be his wife. It was in our favorite place with some of our favorite people. It was perfect! We selected September 21, 2013 as our special day mainly because our Gamecocks did not have a football game that day. We had ten months of crazy wedding planning where Robert through it all smiled and said “anything you want, Darling.” It was stressful, but fun. I feel as though we selected the most talented professionals in the wedding industry. Our wedding party was some of the most amazing friends that have impacted our lives forever. My dream of a children’s choir came true when my friend, Sarah Moncer, directed her Lexington Middle School Honor Choir to sing a favorite song of mine. They were fantastic! The ceremony and reception were magical. Looking back there is nothing I would change, not even the rain. My mother in law said the rain drops were special tears of joy from those who have gone before us. I believe that. I felt their presence in my heart that night.

We immediately recognized God’s hand in our lives and fell completely in love.

In April of 2010, we became a couple. Our first date was his family’s annual Easter Egg Hunt. There we realized with astonishment that Robert’s family and my family grew up across the street from each other. In fact, Robert’s grandmother was born in the house that my grandparents would later buy! Coincidence? I think not. We immediately recognized God’s hand in our lives and fell completely in love. We experienced many fun, memorable times but also tough times growing as the couple God wanted us to be. Through it all, we knew we never wanted to be without each other. November 11, 2012 was the second best day of

We didn’t know it when we met, but we were absolutely made for each other. He’s my better half and I love him more each day. I thank God for bringing us together. God’s plans for us are always greater than we imagine. I am truly grateful that Robert and I were open to God’s blessings and His happily ever after. To view more photos from this wedding, check out the Lexington Woman Magazine Facebook page. www.charlestonwomanonline.com

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Let’s Talk Love Stories

photo by Clark Berry Photography

The BLOOM of a Perfect Day by Amy Pittsenbarger

Jennifer Manley Today, Manley works out of her home in Batesburg-Leesville. She says that she can absolutely envision having a shop one day, but for now she is happy to be able to stay home with her two children, Andrew and Emily. Manley says that most of her meetings with brides start at Starbucks. “We usually just talk and get to know each other, and she tells me her vision. We explore the depths of Pinterest and Southern Living Weddings…I really like to make the bouquets reflect the personalities of the girls. I love personalizing them with mementos like rosaries, lace, and lockets,” outlines Manley. It’s clear that what is important for Manley is to ensure that brides are completely satisfied with their wedding day. “I have always personally handed the bouquet to the bride. In 13 years, I’ve never missed personally doing this!” Manley explains. She is also dedicated to helping “do-ityourself ” brides. “I like to work with them to tie in other areas of

the wedding such as color schemes and table set-ups. It’s neat to see the things come together in the end,” explains Manley. She stresses the importance of reusing flowers, “Use bridesmaids’ bouquets on tables, surround with candles, and voila!” explains Manley. The Frugal Flower certainly stands apart from other florists. “Brides have the option of either keeping their flowers or donating them. If they donate them, I will come pick them up (free of the delivery charge) and take them to a nursing home/assisted living home. The residents love the fresh flowers! On many occasions I have had conversations with elderly women who tell me all about their wedding day. I am also a big believer in charity, and I have been fortunate enough to have enough profit leftover to send to a ministry in Uganda called ‘Our Hope International’ that a friend of mine started. They sponsor the Home of Hope, which

he Frugal Flower began small, when Jennifer Manley was studying as a freshman at Berry College in Rome, Georgia. As part of a work-study program, Manley and a group of students created weekly flower arrangements for Martha Berry’s, the college’s founder. “We drove to the florist and just picked out whatever struck our eye. I got to experiment with lots of flowers and colors…I would always ask to take home the leftovers, and I would “play” with them, making bouquets,” Manley explains. In 2000, Manley did her first wedding and The Frugal Flower officially became a South Carolina business in 2011, when Manley. is an orphanage for children with physical disabilities.” Where does she see The Frugal Flower in the future? “My degree is in horticulture, so sometimes people do ask me for landscaping advice, though I haven’t done it as The Frugal Flower yet. I can see

that area expanding,” says Manley. For more information on The Frugal Flower and the color it brings to your special day, check out their website at www.thefrugalflowerSC. com.

‘I have always personally handed the bouquet to the bride. In 13 years, I’ve never missed personally doing this!’

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Professional

“The Journey More

THAN THE PHOTOGRAPHS” —Annie Leibovitz

by Amy Pittsenbarger

t’s safe to say that Annie Leibovitz, and her work in portrait photography, are American icons in their own right. She is known not only for her work in photographing celebrities, politicians, athletes, and business figures, but also for her subjects’ often unusual and striking poses. Leibovitz graduated from the San Francisco Art Institute in 1971 with a BFA. At the young age of just twenty-one, she was hired as a staff photographer of the fledgling Rolling Stone. She worked as the chief photographer for Rolling Stone from 1973-1983, creating an image and reputation that would follow for decades to come, and later at both Vanity Fair and Vogue. Leibovitz has photographed, among many others: John Lennon (the picture was taken only hours before his murder), The Rolling Stones, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Woody Allen, Dolly Parton, Meryl Streep, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Demi Moore, and Queen Elizabeth II. She did a series of photographs for The Walt Disney Company in their “Year of a Million Dreams” campaign. She has also done work for various advertising campaigns for companies like American Express, the Gap, and Honda. For her work with American Express, Leibovitz was awarded the Clio Award in 1987, the advertising world’s equivalent of an Academy Award.

Her exhibition, Pilgrimage, consists of 78 images and is organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum. It will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art from October 4, 2013 through January 5, 2014. Of all the museums that applied to procure Leiobvitz’s exhibit, the Columbia Museum of Art was the only one in the Southeast that was selected. “Unlike her staged and carefully lit portraits made on assignment for magazines and advertising clients, these photographs were taken simply because Leibovitz was moved by the subject. This exhibition is an evocative and deeply personal statement by a photographer whose career now spans more than 40 years. The work shows Leibovitz at the height of her powers and pondering how photographs, including her own, shape a narrative of history that informs the present,” describes the CMA’s website of Pilgrimage.

This exhibition is an evocative and deeply personal statement by a photographer whose career now spans more than 40 years.

The American Society of Magazine Photographers named her Photographer of the Year in 1984. In 1991, Leibovitz became the first woman to have her photography mounted at the National Portrait Gallery. The Library of Congress named her a “Living Legend” in 2000 for her “innovative work in advertising, fashion and celebrity portraiture”.

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With all this said, it’s no surprise that I was thrilled to be asked to take part in a truly oncein-a-lifetime event. I had the pleasure of be-

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ing part of an exhibition tour led by Leibovitz herself, in which she explained some of her behind-the-scenes processes. Leibovitz says that Pilgrimage saved her and revitalized her after a 40-year career of carefully assigned photoshoots. Leibovitz traveled the world taking pictures of whatever she wanted to, at moments that struck her. There was none of the careful staging of her portrait photography, only the natural light of the room or place she took the pictures in. She describes the process as leading her to “becoming enamored with natural light”. It’s a sharp departure from her trademark photographs of celebrities. Many of the pictures are also quite close-up and focused on small details (details Leibovitz says she was “so taken with”), a change from the “pulled back” style of most of Leibovitz’s portraits. On the list of places she wanted to see were Gettysburg, Graceland, England, Yosemite, and Concord, Massachusetts (the home of such names in American history as Thoreau and Dickinson). All of the pictures in Pilgrimage were taken with a digital camera, and are printed on watercolor paper in order to ‘”tone down” the sharpness of the image. Leibovitz explained that this project has only inspired her to renew her energies in her typical field of portrait photography. She says Pilgrimage renewed her, and allowed her to take a much-needed break from the assignments and task-driven nature of her work. Lei-

Professional bovitz walked us through the exhibition, and described the background behind five or six of her photographs. The first was of Niagara Falls, the photo that is the cover of the entire exhibition. She took this picture on a day trip to the falls with her children, and she says the “children showed me this picture”, when they found a walkway from which the iconic image was taken. It was in describing this picture that she spoke of Pilgrimage as being her redemption-and as something that “that gives back to me and fulfills me.” The collection includes pictures ranging from a close-up shot of Abraham Lincoln’s top hat and Virginia Woolf ’s writing desk, to a picture of Emily Dickinson’s only surviving dress and the interior entranceway to Elvis’s Graceland home. Since the project was very much about photographing only things that spoke to her, Leibovitz said Woolf ’s desk was one of the most inspiring parts of the project for her. On a tour of Woolf ’s writing studio, Leibovitz says that she saw the sunlight falling onto the desk, and that it was the “actually the first time I wished I was making moving pictures.” Pilgrimage is first and foremost a journey through American history, and the people, places and things that have shaped our heritage, both individually and as a nation. “The project was the journey more than the photographs,” says Leibovitz, and that it was the process of rediscovering herself more than the photographs she was taking. Leibovitz encouraged us to recognize the potential of our own state: “There’s a list even in Columbia of places to photograph–[it makes me] just want to get in my car and drive.” It was truly incredible to meet someone as accomplished and well renowned as Annie Leibovitz, and even more incredible to see whom she is: a down-to-earth artist who loves to share her work with others. Because in the end, no matter what we photograph, isn’t the point to capture the ways we see this world? www.charlestonwomanonline.com

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Have You Lost that Loving Feeling? Is Hormone Therapy Right for You?

by James T. Martin, Jr., MD

oss or decrease in sexual desires, your libido, is just one of the many symptoms related to hormone levels in a woman. Others include, but are not limited to, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, vaginal dryness, changes in memory and attention, fatigue, weight gain and insomnia. These symptoms are most frequently related to menopause, although other medical causes need to be considered.

Before actual menopause, there is a period of time known as perimenopause which may last months or years. During this time, there is not only some decrease in the hormones produced by the ovaries but there can also be some significant fluctuations that make symptoms worse than actual menopause. Although most of the time symptoms are related to women as they get older, some young women may also be affected. Many symptoms can be controlled or eliminated by replacing and balancing a woman’s hormone levels. Estrogen and testosterone are the key hormones for controlling symptoms and progesterone is needed if a woman has not had a hysterectomy. There are numerous ways to take hormone therapy (HT); pills, patches, creams, gels, sprays, injections, subcetenous pellets and sublingual drops. Although pill form was the most popular in the past, transdermal (absorbed through the skin) is becoming much more popular and effective. One term that is frequently misrepresented is “bioidentical hormones.” Bioidentical hormones are usually plant derived sources of estrogen and these are available in both commercially prepared FDA approved medications as well as in

compounded medications. Compounded hormones are prepared by individual pharmacies and usually are made as gels, creams, liquids or pellets.

venous thrombosis (blood clots), stroke and breast cancer. Some of the clinical studies are conflicting and these should be discussed with your health care provider.

Concern has been expressed by the FDA and ACOG (American Congress of OB/GYN) with compounded hormones because they have not undergone extensive clinical trials like commercially available preparations have. The compounded hormones lack effectiveness and safety data. Purity and potency of the medication can vary significantly, and there is no scientific evidence showing any superiority of compounded versus commercially prepared hormones. ACOG recommends that a woman who chooses to use compounded hormones should be made aware of safety and efficacy concerns and be carefully monitored by her physician.

ACOG currently recommends the lowest possible dose to control symptoms and reducing the length of time a woman takes HT if she is at an increased risk. ACOG also recommends not relying on saliva or urine tests to monitor and

In addition to relieving the symptoms previously discussed and improving libido, hormone therapy has been shown to reduce a woman’s risk of osteoporosis and bone fractures. ACOG also reports some clinical studies that show improved cognitive function with HT and if started early on, a possible decrease in cardiovascular risks. Some reported risks with HT are an increased risk of

adjust HT dosing as they are very unreliable and make it possible to overdose or underdose. Because every woman is different, there is not one single hormone therapy that fits all. It is important that a patient discusses all of her symptoms and concerns with her health care provider. Call us at (843) 572-7123 to schedule an appointment to discuss HRT.

Before actual menopause, there is a period of time known as perimenopause which may last months or years.

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Health & Wellness

Friends for Life Can Help Us Win the Fight

he new Friends for Life program sponsored by Trident Health’s Breast Care Center recognizes the fight against breast cancer is one that we share and will have to win together. It also recognizes that something as simple as a telephone call or a text message can be a lifesaver. To take part in the free program, you are encouraged first to find a family member, co-worker or friend who wants to do it, too. On the 5th of each month, you and your friend are pledged to remind each other by telephone, text or email to do a breast self-exam. To make sure you stay on track, you can sign up for a Friends for Life text reminder, which Live 5 News and Trident Health will send to your phone, also on the 5th of

each month. (Go to Live5news.com and click on Health to register.) “We know that self-exams are important. We know that clinical exams and mammograms are important. This just takes the awareness one step further,” says Penny Fanning, Trident Health breast care nurse navigator. “And by involving friends, there’s an added level of accountability and support.” In addition to monthly self-exams, women who are 40 and older should have annual clinical breast exams (done by a healthcare provider) and annual mammograms. The Friends for Life program also offers text reminders about these important yearly visits. Those in their 20s and 30s should have a clinical breast exam every one to three years. If you have a family history of breast cancer or other risk factors, you should talk to your healthcare provider about whether the recommendations are different for you. Early detection and treatment of breast cancer can increase the odds for survival. Currently, 60 percent of breast cancers are diagnosed when the cancer is at a localized stage, before it has spread to other parts of the body, in which case the five-year survival rate is more than 98 percent, according to the American Cancer Society. Currently, a woman’s risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime is believed to be 1 in 8. It is especially important for women ages 40 and over to do regular

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self-exams because they face greater risks than most younger women. But self-exams are an option for women starting in their 20s and can help establish the habit and allow women to become familiar with their breasts so they can spot changes easily. Around 7 percent of breast cancer cases affect women before age 40, according to the National Institutes for Health. Tips for doing self-exams: • Have a healthcare provider show you the correct way to do an exam during an office visit. • Pick a pattern that works for you, either feeling the tissue of your breast by moving your fingers in a circular motion, up and down, or with a wedge approach. (The American Cancer Society recommends the up and down pattern.) • Above all, make sure you cover the entire area of each breast, as well as the underarm tissue. • Examine how the breasts look and include a check in the mirror. Consult a healthcare professional if your self-exam reveals any of the following: • Distinct single lumps that are either hard or soft • Changes in skin texture or color • Changes in breast shape or size • Changes in nipple location or shape • Breast sores that don’t heal • Bloody or cloudy nipple discharge For more information on Breast Care, contact Trident Health’s Breast Care Center at (843) 847-4883.

Health & Wellness

Dealing with Holiday Stress by Dr. Nichole Quinn

ow do you deal with the hustle and bustle of the Holidays? I can tell you that as a working mom of 3 kids, what is supposed to be the best time of year becomes the most stressful time of year. On top of my normal day to day activities, I am bombarded with Christmas shopping, parties for adults and kids, having to prepare food to take to parties, and overall just more physical and financial STRESS! We all have stress, but some of us deal with it better than others. In my years of being a working mother, I have come up with some great tips to share. I always tell patients that I may not be able to get rid your stress, but my job is to allow your body to deal with the stress in a better way. I always tell my patients that my job is not to get rid of your stress but rather allow your body to better cope with the stress.

Share the Load First, the most important thing for women to do is share the load. As women, we want to do it all. But, your husbands have to help. I learned this the hard way during my first few years of marriage.

I did all of the buying of presents for both sides of our family. As our family grew, that became a daunting task, and I realized that I needed help. Before getting to this point, make planning for the holidays a joint effort — you will enjoy the help and your spouse will like feeling needed.

Don’t Forget to Exercise The second tip I would like to share comes from my continuous struggle with weight. After losing seventy pounds over 10 years ago, I have managed to keep it off, but it has not been easy. The holidays are the worst time of the year when it comes to eating too much and eating too much of what we shouldn’t be eating in the first place. It is also the time when many people do not continue their workout schedule because of the hundreds of other things necessary to get ready for the holidays. Right now, mark

your calendar with your scheduled workouts. I am a firm believer that if you write it down, you are more likely to complete it. Exercise will also help to relieve the extra stress during the holidays, so don’t leave it out. In order to stay on track during the holidays, I always have healthy snacks in the car for me and my family. Almonds are a great staple to keep on hand and eating a few when you are famished can hold you over until your next meal. At holiday parties, fill your plate with healthful options such as veggies and fruit. Go ahead and have a piece of fudge, but not 10 pieces. Moderation is key when eating the bad stuff!

Get Enough Sleep The final tip comes from my most recent life event of having my third child. Sleep is not over-rated! It is important to allow our body to heal and function at its optimum.

I always tell my patients that my job is not to get rid of your stress but rather allow your body to better cope with the stress.

At this time in my life, I may not be getting the best sleep with a nursing newborn, but I find time to catch up by taking a short nap or going to bed earlier than normal. You may not have a new baby like me, but with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we tend to get less sleep and that can lead to higher chances of getting sick. Be sure you are taking time to rest and get a good night’s sleep, so you will be less likely to get sick during the holidays. When asked to write this article, I could have written it from a Chiropractic standpoint. Instead, I wrote it from an everyday woman’s point of view. I feel that the reason I see so many women in my office is because I can relate to them. I am one of you, facing the same daily struggles as you do. The best advice I can give you is to remember the reason for the season. Make this holiday season the least stressed and most enjoyable ever!

Dr. Nichole Quinn is the owner and one of the Chiropractors at Total Family Wellness in North Charleston. She focuses on women’s care and relieving stress through Chiropractic, Massage Therapy, Weight Management and Nutritional Supplementation. She resides in Moncks Corner with her husband Bryan and kids Nevaeh (7), Peyton (3), and new baby Addison. www.charlestonwomanonline.com

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Students incorporate stained glass and Polaroid photography to make a unique piece of artwork.

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Ending the Embarrassment

ince 2010, Julia, a retired nurse had experienced an unusual urge to use the bathroom at the most inappropriate times; it did not matter what she ate. This made even short trips impossible. Her life revolved around the bathroom visits, she had tried multiple forms of treatment without success. If she left the house, which was rare, it meant taking an extra set of clothes and wearing pads. “I declined social invitations because I didn’t know when I would have an accident.” One day her friends invited her for a long weekend in Myrtle Beach. The fear of having accidental bowel leakage in front of her friends was such that she decided not to go. “I was too scared of being embarrassed and I didn’t feel like telling my friends about my problem. I asked myself, would I ever be able to do the things that I enjoyed so much again?” It was then that she decided she needed help. She consulted with her primary care doctor who referred her to see Dr. Margarita Murphy, a colon and rectal surgeon in Mount Pleasant. Robert had worked hard all his life to reach his retirement. However,

when that time finally came, he started having bowel leakage which he could not control. Initially the events were scarce. Eventually, they became so frequent and large that he had to hire two caretakers to help him keep his house clean. Instead of enjoying his retirement he was now almost completely homebound. His worst experience came when his son convinced him to go to a family reunion. His son picked him up in his car and shortly after Robert felt the bowel movement starting. They could not find a bathroom fast enough. Completely embarrassed, he asked his son to turn around and take him home. The whole way he was mortified, sitting in the mess. “It was very upsetting” he said. “You feel very helpless.” His son did some research and found Dr. Murphy.

You Are Not Alone

Dr. Margarita Murphy

It is now estimated that one in every five women in the United States suffers from some level of fecal incontinence. Accidental bowel leakage or fecal incontinence, is a devastating problem that affects women more frequently than men. It affects selfesteem, close relationships, employment and family life. The social consequences are immense, to the point

that patients with fecal incontinence restrict their lives in an attempt to cope with it. In an era when people talk about just about anything, fecal incontinence is one of the few medical conditions that is so embarrassing and disturbing, that people do not even tell their doctors about it. Yet, because you do not hear about it, this does not mean that it does not happen often. “This is a debilitating condition in otherwise healthy individuals that drastically affects their quality of life” says Dr. Murphy. “People often become housebound or live as hermits because of the stigma.”

Ending the Embarrassment

After a brief series of tests and evaluations Dr. Murphy recommended Interstim therapy for both Julia and Robert. “It was so easy to talk to Dr. Murphy. She made me feel comfortable from the moment I met her,” explains Julia. “Even though, I couldn’t imagine or grasp how this implant would work, I immediately trusted Dr. Murphy and decided to move forward.” The Interstim Neurostimulator is not much different from a heart pacer, this tiny device is inserted under the skin in the upper buttocks region. It sends mild electri-

cal pulses stimulating the sacral nerves that control the bowel, rectum and bladder. It helps patients regain control of bowel and bladder functions. After a successful two-week trial, Julia and Robert received a permanent implant. Despite her “guarded optimism,” Julia started seeing the results immediately. Now, over a year after her procedure, she is enjoying her life and is free of accidents. “I finally get to go anywhere I want to, I couldn’t be happier!” Robert is able to spend lots of time with his grandchildren at last. “This is what retirement should be like and I could have never experienced it without the help of Dr. Murphy.” Dr. Margarita Murphy is one of the doctors with the most experience doing this procedure in the United States. “It has completely changed my practice. The last year and a half has been the most satisfying in my career. I have been able to change people’s lives in such a radical way with this quick, minimally invasive procedure.” Dr. Murphy, spends her time in her office in Mount Pleasant seeing patients and teaching the theory and technique of the Interstim System for Fecal Incontinence to doctors all over the United States, Central, and South America. www.charlestonwomanonline.com

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his time of year is difficult for me. As much as I enjoy football and the cooler weather, my heart has memories that I struggle with. It must have been late October when I finally started to realize that my daddy wasn’t getting better. I think it was on a Saturday visit when I knew I was going to have to let him go. For thirty two years of my life, fall was filled with camouflage, bright orange vests, the smell of an open fire pit, fresh venison, and the sound of laughter from various males in our family. I can only remember a few Thanksgivings celebrated with him actually home. We would always celebrate a day early or when he got back from the hunting grounds that Sunday. In fact when I was in the hospital having Colton he asked me was it okay for him to go to the hunting club because on that year opening day for Bow Season was September 9th. Of course when Colton was born he showed up at the hospital in all his camo to welcome his grandson to the family. I try not to dwell on his departure, because the dash in between his birth and death hold so much love and laughter. I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I used to get when he would come in smiling and shout to all of us that he had just got a buck or that one of my brothers or cousins got the first deer of the season. I can’t tell you the number of times I watched them prepare the meat for the freezer or the taxidermist. At the time I didn’t realize the impact of those moments. I didn’t realize while I was sitting in a deer stand with my dad learning to shoot or listening to stories around a camp fire at night (on the few occasions the girls were allowed) that I was making memories that would last a lifetime. When I close my eyes I can still smell the fire and hear his laughter from all those years ago as he joked with his twin brother and teased. Now when I see those vests or all that hunting gear at a sporting goods store, I can’t help but smile and remember the scents and sounds of life when he was alive. Time has passed but one thing remains; the depth of his love for us. I still pick up the phone to call him. I still wish he could see my children now and how they have grown. I still feel like something important is missing. I still love my Dad. If you are lucky enough to still have your father here with you, I would encourage you to call him. If my dad were here, I would call or visit, I would say I love you one more time. I would hug his neck and kiss his weathered cheek. I would ask him to tell me a story about when he was younger. I would ask him to sing me a song. I would make another memory to hold close when sickness took him from me. I wouldn’t wish him back. I know he is happy, healthy, and safe in the arms of our heavenly father and one day when my time here is over I will join him there. God Bless,

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Lori Samples Duncan

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EmErgEncy and inpatiEnt pEdiatric sErvicEs closE to homE. itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s somEthing EvEry family dEsErvEs. Summerville Medical Center provides dedicated pediatric care for children â&#x20AC;&#x201D; newborn to age 17. And, this October we will unveil our beautiful new Pediatric Emergency Department and Inpatient Unit, created just for young patients. *Board Certified pediatric emergency physicians *Select pediatric specialists *New pediatric inpatient rooms, designed just for kids *Kids and family play area *Child-friendly artwork Residents of Dorchester County, North Charleston and surrounding communities are now just minutes from emergency pediatric services. As a national leader in quality care, Summerville Medical Center is proud to make this healthy commitment to kids.

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