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estselling coauthor of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry (2014) describes “Emotional Intelligence” as: “the ‘something’in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.” As multiple social, behavioral, and active learning psychologists have statistically proven, people who excel in life tend to be emotionally intelligent. Why might this be? And how can we cultivate such beneficial skills? Here are a few excerpts from Dennis Coon and John Mitterer’s 13th edition of Psychology: Modules for Active Learning that expound on the ways in which we can become more emotionally intellectual beings; helping us not only win at life, but excel in becoming our own personal champions.
“Emotional Intelligence: Composing life’s music”
If our emotions are the music of life, then emotionally intelligent people are good musicians. They do not stifle their emotions or overindulge in them. Instead, they compose them into sustaining life rhythms that mesh well with other people. Many valuable lessons can be learned from accepting that human emotions are an essential part of who we are, and from paying close attention to your emotions and emotions of others. These skills are worth working on!
“The Fine Art of Self-Control”
The Greek philosopher Aristotle had a recipe for handling relationships smoothly: “Be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way.” Psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer call such self-control emotional intelligence: the ability to perceive, use, understand, and manage emotions. Being emotionally skilled can make us more flexible, adaptable, agreeable, and emotionally mature. Indeed, the costs of poor emotional skills can be high. They range from problems in marriage and parenting to poor physical health. A lack of emotional intelligence can ruin careers and sabotage achievement. Perhaps the greatest toll falls on children and teenagers. For them, having poor emotional skills can contribute to depression, eating disorders, unwanted pregnancy, aggression, violent crime, and poor academic performance. Often, the “right” choices in life can be defined only by taking personal values, needs and emotions into account. Extremely rational approaches to making choices can produce sensible but emotionally empty decisions. In short, emotional intelligence is the ability to consciously make your emotions work for you.
“Suppressing Emotion-Don’t Turn off the Music” According to popular media, we are supposed to be happy all the time. However, real emotional life has its ups and downs. Have you ever been angry with a friend in public? Embarrassed by someone’s behavior at a party? Disgusted by someone’s table manners? Often, we try to appear less emotional than we really are, especially when we feel negative emotions. In such circumstances, people are quite good at suppressing outward signs of emotion. However, restraining emotion can actually increase activity in the sympathetic nervous system. I other words, hiding emotion requires a lot of effort. Suppressing emotions also can impair thinking and memory as you devote energy to selfcontrol. Thus, although suppressing emotion allows us to appear calm and collected on the outside, this cool appearance comes at a high cost. People who constantly suppress their emotions cope poorly with life and are prone to depression and other problems. Conversely, people who express their emotions generally experience better emotional and physical health. Paying attention to our negative emotions also can lead us to think more clearly about the positive AND the negative. The end result is better decision making, which can increase our overall happiness in the long run. Usually it’s better to manage emotions than it is to suppress them.
“The Whole Person”
There is a natural tendency to welcome positive emotions, such as joy, but to treat negative emotions, such as anger, as unwelcome misery. Make no mistake: Negative emotions also are part of the whole human. They also can be valuable and constructive. Negative emotions tend to narrowly focus attention on actions that helped our ancestors survive: escaping, attacking, expelling poison, and the like. Similarly, persistent distress may focus a person on seeking help, mending a relationship, or finding a new direction in life.
Emotional intelligence (E EMOTIONAL adj. + INTELLICENCE n.
The ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotio and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
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In contrast, positive emotions are not just a pleasant side effect of circumstances; they tend to broaden our focus. For instance, emotions suc as joy, interest, and contentment create an urge to play, be creative, to explore, to savor life and seek new experiences, to integrate and to grow. Happiness can be cultivated by using the strengths we already possess- including kindness, originality humor, optimism, and generosity. Such strengths are natural buffers against misfortune, and they can help people live more positive, happy lives. A capacity for having positive emotions is a basic human strength, and cultivating good feelings is a part of emotional intelligence.
“Getting out of the box”
Thomas Edison explained his creativity by saying, “Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.” Many studies of creativity show that “genius” and “eminence” owe as much to persistence and dedication as they do to inspiration. A mental set is the tendency to perceive a problem in a way that blinds us to possible solutions. Mental sets are a major bar to creative thinking. They usually trap us “in a box”, leading us to problem in preconceived terms that impede our problem solving att
“Live More Creatively”
Many people who think in conventional ways live intelligent, succ and fulfilling lives. Just the same, creative thinking can add spice to li lead to exciting personal insights. Psychologist Mihalyi Csikszentm makes these recommendations about how to become more cr •Find something that surprises you every day. •Try to surprise at least one person every day. •If something sparks your interest follow it. •Seek challenges •Start doing more of what you really enjoy and less of what you dislike. •Try to look at problems from as many viewpoints as you can.
“Do facial expressions influence emotions?”
Schachter and Lzarus added thinking and interpretation to viewpoints emotion, but the picture still seems incomplete. What about expression Charles Darwin observed, the face is central to emotion -- perhaps it is than just an “emotional billboard.” Do facial expressions actually influen felt emotions? Psychologist Carrol Izard (1990) was among the first to suggest that th face does, indeed, affect emotion. According to Izard, emotions cause innately programmed changes in facial expression. Sensations from the face then provide cues to the brain that help us determine what emotion we are feeling. Contrary to what you might expect, “making faces” can affect the autonomic nervous system as shown by changes in heart rate and skin temperature. Each facial expression produces a different pattern of activity. An angry face, for instance, raises heart rate and skin temperature, whereas disgust lowers both. Other studies have confirmed that posed expressions alter emotions and bodily activity. It appears, then, that not only do emotions influence expressions, but expressions also influence emotions. Art & layout by Bailey Brown