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raunchy remakes WATCHING X-RATED MOVIES can be intimidating for a beginner, so why not ease yourself into the porn pool with parodies? Practically every popular show and movie has an explicit remake, and being familiar with the storyline and the characters can make for more comfortable, sexy viewing, not to mention some serious laughs. Here are a few of my cult favorites–cum-porno.
For something less emo, The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody (New Sensations, $12.99, tlavideo.com) is a must-see. Instead of the Asian thug peeing on the carpet as he does in the opening scene of the original, he jizzes on the Dude’s pornos and hilarity ensues. Both the writing and the acting are very impressive. In this film’s version of the memorable dream sequence, the Dude is trapped inside a dildo that Maude—played in the original by Julianne Moore—fucks herself with (and it escalates from there). I am a pretty straight-shooting lady, but the woman who plays Maude is smoking hot.
Perhaps the most classic of all XXX parodies is Edward Penishands (Video Team Presents, $11.49, cduniverse.com). It loosely follows the Johnny Depp version, but the original Avon lady is now in door-to-door dildo sales, and instead of scissors, Edward has two giant penises for hands (which actually resemble Ren Faire turkey legs). The acting in porn parodies generally pales in comparison to their inspirations, but Sikki Nixx really kills it as awkward Edward. A couple of amazing things to note: Edward is created when a woman wishes her dildo were alive, there is a point where he tries to eat spaghetti with his dickhands, and the scene of Winona dancing in snow created by Edward’s scissorhands, is recreated…with cum shooting from Edward’s penishands.
Your most lady-centric option, however, is Bridesmaids XXX Porn Parody (Smash Pictures, $19.99, adultdvdempire.com), which follows the original script almost exactly, while making it much dirtier. The opening scene—which sends up Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm’s boots-knockin’—is perhaps the most hilarious, purposefully terrible sex scene I have ever seen. The acting isn’t the best, but an actual plus-size (well, for porn standards) star plays Melissa McCarthy’s Megan character and she’s delightfully sexually aggressive. Finally, a feel-good porn about bosom buddies getting laid and teaching each other about vibrators. So get your giggles and your juices flowing with these porn parodies—even if the sex doesn’t do it for you, at least you’ll know you like the plot. [CALLIE WATTS]
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10/27/11 11:00:34 PM