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Co-op City Times / September 20, 2014
Dad Day
actively engaging the fathers long after the children go to their classrooms. Guest speakers included Bronx Borough President Ruben Diaz, Jr. who said the message he was delivering that day was one of the most important things he has done during his five years as Bronx Borough President. Other speakers included City Councilman Andy King, Riverbay Board First Vice President Daryl Johnson, the city’s Human Resources Deputy Commis-sioner of Child Support Alan Farrell, Marie Roker-Jones of the Good Men Project, Dr. Rev. Robert Smith of Co-op City’s Church of the Savior, and P.S. 153 Principal Meghan Kelly. Borough President Diaz delivered the Keynote Address for the more than twohour program before 70 active fathers and said, “Having you all here in this room warms my heart.” He stressed that fathers should take 20 minutes a day to speak with and know their children, their interests, fears and emotions. “Observe the little things,” he advised as the parent of two boys. “I am working hard as father at rewriting the perception of men from the Bronx,” Diaz said. “We are working with Bronx Fathers Taking Action, and we are working with other organizations. If you are not part of these organizations, this is the time you can learn something or teach somebody something. We should not be afraid to embrace each other and say good morning, brother. I need some advice on some things. It is okay to look for advice outside your immediate circle.” The borough president added that in his experience with raising children “they remember the little things that fathers do that do not seem like much to the father when he is doing them.”
“You have to remember that to children, fathers are the superhero, the protector, we are everything from the disciplinarian to the person that gives awards and as tough as we are, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. And sometimes, hopefully, we are who they look up to and who they want to become. And most of all, I want my sons to grow to believe that they want to be the type of dad that they had.” Dr. Smith began the proceedings by offering a blessing, but also requesting of the fathers and other men involved in a child’s life that they play a significant role in the shaping of the lives of children, calling on not only fathers to do everything possible to build the self-esteem of children, but everyone in their lives whether it be neighbors, school and community leaders or educators. Dr. Smith said that the full potential of any child will not be realized unless the child is taught by adults around him to realize the potential that exists within him or her. P.S. 153’s new principal Meghan Kelly told the fathers that her success as a young educator rising to the level of school principal came directly from a promise that she made to her late father for and her sisters to do everything that they could to go to college and succeed in their chosen field. “And in that same spirit, we want to make the promise to you to make sure that your children learn the skills that they need to have the resiliency to choose whatever it is they want in years to come.” She added to the room full of fathers: “I encourage you to be here as often as you can, to be partners with the teachers, to ask questions through e-mails or calls and to really get involved as much as you can because we want to make sure our children have the doors open to them in the
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world of possibilities so that they can chose to be anything that they want to be.” City Councilman Andy King spoke to the fathers as an experienced father himself saying that children absolutely need a man in their lives not only when they are young and dependent on you to provide food, shelter and guidance, but when they become pre-teens, teens and young adults and it is then that they really need you to guide them past puberty and peer pressure and the negative influences, such as youth gangs and drugs, which can make them lose their way. “When they are very young,” the Councilman said, “you hold onto their hand. As they get older, don’t let go of that hand. You have an obligation to be there for them.” King also addressed his fight for legislation to require uniformed dress in public schools which he said will ease the cost on parents of clothing children and also end a lot of the negative peer pressure involved in feeling the obligation to wear expensive designer shoes and clothes to school which will also end the practice of wearing provocative attire that is inappropriate for school-aged teenagers and children. Riverbay Board First Vice President Daryl Johnson made the point that regardless of the relationship that fathers might have with the mother of their children, it is incumbent on men to be good, responsible parents and be involved and constantly present in their children’s lives as a father. Johnson said that it is not about the relationship that produced the child, “it is about us as proud, responsible men.” “I am going to make sure that I am involved in my children’s lives as much as possible,” Johnson said. “Bringing your
children to school is very important. Helping them is very important. Setting a good example for them is very important.” Johnson said that the average child growing is bombarded with negative influences from society, from peers, and from mass media. “We as good fathers can turn that around. We are going to give them the tools to become better, perhaps better than what we did.” He added to the gathering of fathers: “Don’t believe that you are not important. Don’t believe that you don’t play a significant part in your child’s life because you do.” He said of vital importance are the simple acts like reading to children, making sure that they are doing their homework properly, and using your time with them productively, turning off the television and the music and communicating something of value to your child. “I want to get away from the concept of television raising our children. We as fathers have to change that perception,” Director Johnson said. “We have to say we are going to be the ones who sit down and develop a positive relationship,” adding that doing these things is essential to teaching them to respect others and respect themselves. Allan Farrell of the city’s Office of Child Support Enforcement for Parent and Community Engagement, said that numerous studies have pointed to the fact “that when fathers are actively involved in the lives of their kids, you see better outcomes for the children.” Farrell said that he believes Dads Take Your Child to School Day should be a launching point for activities that involve fathers in the education of their children throughout the year. (See more pictures on p.21)