The feeling behavior connection.
For example:
You feel scared you run away
You feel hungry you eat
You feel upset you cry
You feel tired you sleep.
In depression the examples might be:
You feel hopeless you give up trying
You feel stuck you do nothing
You feel fatigued you lay around
You feel unwanted / unappreciated you withdraw and avoid people.
Unfortunately following these urges when you are depressed will only make things worse. Thus the “feeling / behavior connection becomes a trap that keeps you depressed and maintains your negative feelings
The attitude effect
The good news is that once you are aware of this you can use this knowledge to change your attitude and response to negative emotions.
In this way you will begin to tackle your depression and start to lift your mood. This awareness and ability to take conscious decisions about your response to negative emotions is called emotional intelligence.
Let’s take a look at Joe’s journey of self discovery with his problem with Unhelpful Anger and how he moves towards experiencing Annoyance and some contentment.
The unhelpful emotion of Anger Scenario 3- Joe is Queuing up at ATM and someone pushes in front of the queue