Rupture And Repair

Gò0dNews for Everyone

Rupture And Repair

by Heather Medley, LPC

“All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18).

Within the constructs of psychotherapy, there is a simple yet profound idea called “rupture and repair.” The term “rupture” describes when a person experiences a loss of trust or connection with another. The term “repair” describes the work two people need to do to regain trust and connection. The dance of rupture and repair is a determining factor in the survival of a relationship.

Most of us experience small ruptures off and on throughout each day. We yell at our child for being too slow putting on their shoes, a friend doesn’t respond well to a text, or our partner sarcastically says something about us with passive aggression. All of these are tiny ruptures, but there are big ruptures as well. A spouse has an affair, friends gossip about you to another friend, or a colleague calls you stupid.

Ruptures are unavoidable and can be harmful if left without care, but the ability to repair is the sign of emotional maturity and the mark of thriving relationships. Repair is the work that the two people involved in the rupture do to reconcile and restore trust and connection. Repairing a relationship usually involves three things: the ability to identify there has been a rupture, the courage to move toward one another, and the humility to offer an apology or forgiveness.

If a person can identify that there has been a break in connection, invite a conversation to reconcile, and offer either a sincere apology or forgiveness, repair is well on its way. Although this concept is popular in modern psychology, it did not begin there. “Rupture and repair” is the underlying theme in all of Scripture. Beginning in Genesis, there was a rupture in the relationship between Adam and Eve and God in the garden of Eden, and Jesus completed the work to restore the connection. Matthew 5:23-24 gives instructions to repair a relationship with your friend before offering anything at the altar, and Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:18 says, “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” I am thankful for a God who gives us a model of repair and the hope that repair gives to all relationships.

About The Author Heather Medley is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and published author. She loves neuroscience research papers, bargain shopping, and laughter. She resides in Rome with her delightful kiddos and steady husband.

Christian Magazine

Mission Statement: Writer Guidelines:

We believe when people are equipped, motivated, and passionately engaged in living out their faith in Jesus Christ they have the potential to be world changers.

Our mission is to bring people into a dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ—a relationship that empowers them to see how God can work through individual personalities, situations, and talents. Christ was an activist, he did not neglect the needs of the people as He brought His message. We strive to encourage everyone to look more like Christ by reaching outside of themselves to serve the needs of others—at home, at school, in communities, and across the world.

goodnewscm.com Phone: 423.478.6484

Who: Our writers range from pastors, professors, and professional writers to stay at home moms and dads, business professionals, and others who have a desire to reach out to people through words of encouragement.

What: We believe that it is important to laugh together, praise each other, encourage one another, and to offer biblical advice. Articles can be directed toward everyone, or from woman to woman, or man to man. We love to share recipes and family traditions as well. We ask that articles be kept to a 500 word maximum. We’d love to hear from you!

Where: Please send submissions to

articles.goodnews@gmail.com

Why: Because God has not intended for us to just survive. We believe that we are intended to reach out to love and encourage each other. God has brought each of us through tough times, blessed us, and made the “impossible” possible. Let’s, together, share the love of Jesus Christ.