would continue. The third person, who is intent on building a bridge, would be upset at the fourth person for wanting to paint rather than build; perhaps all of them would be unhappy with the fifth person who wants to just swim and play in the river. Oftentimes people may not be aware of their natural temperaments. They do not consciously “know themselves.” Many times people are also not aware of the temperaments of their spouses, which can lead to difficulties in marriage. For example, men by nature are often “risk takers” and thus want to make decisions, such as leaving a job or moving, based on the perceived benefits of the change. The wife by nature may be more interested in being cautious and not risking the current well-being of the family. She would rather “stay put” and not risk the family’s security. Unless a couple recognizes and has respectful communication around these different temperaments, the house will be strained. One of our unconscious human tendencies is to think our spouses should have a temperament just like our own. Without appreciating differences in temperament, a couple may clash over decision making. On the other hand, knowing and respecting your spouse’s temperament can help you have better communication and make better decisions.
STEP THREE: Life application on temperment and mood Couple Time 1. Pretend you and your spouse were at the river’s edge. What would you do? (What person in the role play would you be like?) 2. How would you describe to each other your basic temperaments? 3. Have you had a situation in your marriage in which your different temperaments clashed?
Moods STEP ONE: Gathering views on moods General Questions 1. What do we mean by the word “mood?” 2. How is a person’s “mood” different from their temperament? 3. Do all people have the same mood? 4. How do people deal with “bad moods”? 5. What are healthy ways to deal with one’s moods? One of the challenges of living together as husband and wife is to understand and work with our moods. Just as people have different temperaments, they are prone to different moods. Moods are temporary changes in feelings and emotions. Moods are part of our “inner house,” though they can also be influenced by external factors.
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