Kitchen Flops

Culinary catastrophes from our readers

Boy, those cooking shows sure do make it look easy, don’t they? We know the truth — things go wrong in the kitchen — and we asked readers to share some of their most epic fails. Here are some of our favorites, from baking bungles to aiming to impress guests (and falling short). Find more online at carolinacountry.com/kitchenflops.

Fruity Flop

Who knows? I dipped the fruit in the melted chocolate chips, and it turned into globs! My family enjoyed a great laugh over it and the dish turned out to be delicious anyway.

Island Paradise?

I tried to create an Instagramtrending island cake. It was a complete FAIL.

Gail Ekola, Fayetteville, a member of Lumbee River EMC Lisa Brewer, Wilkesboro

An Instagram-worthy Island Cake from Sweet Lilly’s Bakery in Indian Trail.

Yule Stumps

Reallocating holiday travel time in 2020, I determined to finally attempt a “Bûche de Noël” [Yule log] cake. As a small child, my mom mastered these swirls of chocolate and cream. So, I was sure that, between her tutelage and all I learned from the “Great British Baking Show,” I would succeed in a beautiful sponge cake. I scoured all the reputable webpages for a recipe to satisfy my memory and skills. Alas, despite following all directions, no lovely spiral, just chunks of springy chocolate cake and bowls of sweet smooth cream and rich frosting. So, “Stumps de Noël” were born. Easy to share in personal ramekins, they became perfect for a pandemic holiday food swap. Though a little skeptical of the presentation, empty dishes returned from senior citizens and teens alike, confirming taste over looks, every time.

Amberly Dyer, Salvo, a member of Cape Hatteras Electric Cooperative

Peculiar Pintos

For Sunday suppers my late husband, Bobby, and I often cooked pinto beans in the crockpot. One time though upon tasting, the beans had a very unusual taste. How can you mess up pintos? Upon further investigation, I found the culprit. The crockpot was sitting on the kitchen counter without the lid. In the overhead cabinet, an opened bottle of peppermint flavoring had overturned, run down onto the stove exhaust cover and dripped into the crockpot of pintos. I didn’t eat any, but Bobby did. First and last time I cooked Peppermint Pinto Beans!

Vicki Martin, Shelby, a member of Rutherford EMC

Bunny Breakfast Fail

I wanted to make cute bunny pancakes like I saw on Pinterest. I had a vegan relative visiting, so I was confident I could make them vegan with the same effect. Not so. They were delicious but extremely flat. And the vegan marshmallow and chocolate syrup for the face made them look like demented zombie bunnies!

Bettina Vernon, Marvin, a member of Union Power Cooperative

Birthday Burn

My recipe that went wrong was a brand new, untried, peanut butter cookie recipe for a birthday gift for my son-in-law. Yikes! Embarrassing, to say the least. I cut the bottoms off and we still ate them — but never, never again.

Betty Normandin, Carthage

Racked Bundt

I forgot to allow room for my Chocolate Zucchini Bundt cake to rise.

Hardee Klitzman, Durham, a member of Halifax EMC

Unsightly Treat

I really do not know what happened. It’s not like I haven’t cooked a Bundt cake before. But it was delicious, though unsightly.

Cookie Parker, West Jefferson, a member of Blue Ridge Energy

Memories and photos from our readers

Dressed for Turkey Hunting

My grandfather, A.D. Brandon, and his friends would put on their best clothes to go turkey hunting down in the Sandhills. They would raise a big tent to sleep and eat in. When it got dark, they would go where the turkeys rooted and scare them all off. Then early the next morning, they called the turkeys up for the hunt.

Joseph Brandon, Yadkinville, a member of EnergyUnited

A Family Christmas Present

I was born in the early 1950s in Edgecombe County near a very small town called Leggett. I was the youngest child of 12 (8 girls and 4 boys). My momma and daddy sharecropped on a farm. They raised chickens and hogs, and we always had plenty of food on the table. I was born in late November, and Christmas was right around the corner. Momma and Daddy would always prefer to be paid just before Christmas for their farm work. Well, the year I was born, I was lucky to arrive in the hospital. When they brought me home, Momma gathered all the other children and told them they wouldn’t be getting any Christmas from Santa that year because they had to pay the hospital bill. Years later I was told that my older sister asked my parents, “Can’t you send her back to the hospital?” To this day, we laugh and joke about that.

Patricia Whitley, Rocky Mount A member of Edgecombe-Martin County EMC

Send Us Your Memories We love sharing photos and memories dear to our readers. Submit your photo, plus roughly 200 words that describe it, online or by mail with a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you want it returned (only one entry per household, per month). Include your name, mailing address, phone number or email address, and the name of your electric co-op. We retain reprint rights, and we’ll pay $50 for those we publish. Online: carolinacountry.com/contact U.S. Mail: I Remember, Carolina Country, 3400 Sumner Blvd., Raleigh, NC 27616 Starstruck Daughter

Below is a picture of my momma and daddy taken in the mid-1960s. To the left of Momma is my daddy, with a fellow band member on the right. They were born and raised in Swain County, North Carolina. They moved to Florida after marrying. Daddy started at Highway Southern College, where he graduated in carpentry, while Momma remained a housewife. They were able to get away together on Saturday nights and both were soon recognized for their musical talents. Momma sang and played guitar while Daddy played bass fiddle. They were soon hired to play gigs in juke joints playing country music, which gave them extra income at doing something they both loved.

Later, Momma was offered a contract in country music, but for reasons of her own, she declined. Everyone believed she was the next Loretta Lynn. They continued playing at birthday parties, neighborhood social events and family get-togethers.

I remember sitting on the floor staring up at them as they played, looking and sounding like real country music stars. I was so proud, so starstruck, in awe. Wonderful, happy memories that I cherish.

Patricia Rich, Star, a member of Randolph EMC

Pink Chicks and Fox Kits

My daddy, Kenneth Myers, loved animals. He bought the horse in the photo when I was very young. He taught us children to love animals also. He raised pigs, chickens and a cow. When I was about 9 years old, he let me keep the little runt from a litter of pigs. I really loved that baby pig. He followed me everywhere, just like our dog. But, of course, when he grew big, Daddy took him to the stock market to sell. It broke my heart.

At Easter each year, Daddy got my siblings and I each a pink-, blue-, green- or purple-colored baby chick. They were so cute. As they grew, the color faded and they became white.

One day Daddy killed a red fox in the chicken house. Afterwards he saw the fox had babies. He didn’t want those babies to starve, so we all looked in the woods behind our house until we found two baby foxes under an old sawmill. We raised them until they were grown and ready to be on their own.

I am very grateful for the way my parents raised me. They and our Lord made me who I am today. Life was so much simpler and good back then.

Helen Myers Benton, Lexington A member of EnergyUnited

Little Bo Peep Remembers Her Sheep

The first grade class of Lilesville Elementary School presented their play, “Little Bo Peep,” in the school auditorium in May 1956. I played Little Bo Peep. The classes gathered to witness the comedy-drama and listen to the children say their lines and sing. These plays were held at many schools across Anson County. I wonder how many people will see this photo and remember their costume. Other than church functions, school activities were all many of us had to look forward to in those days.

Dorothy Steele, Lilesville A member of Pee Dee Electric Christmas with Grandpa

I grew up on a farm in Sampson County. Nine people lived in our house, including my Grandpa Crumpler. My Grandpa sat in a chair at the end of a cotton row as I picked cotton beside him in a 10-pound flour sack.

At Christmas, his children would bring him a lot of fruit. He would peel the oranges and share with us grandchildren. He put the peelings on the windowsill to dry. After the peels dried, we would then eat the peelings. My Grandpa lived to be 92 years old.

Novella Hall, Autryville, a member of South River EMC

Grandpa Crumpler lived to be 92 years old.

A Sharp Gift Idea

Time-tested, precision knife sharpening

Story by Mike Zlotnicki

When it comes to the gift for “the sportsman who has everything,” a controlled-angle knife sharpening system is hard to beat. Your dad and granddad may have used a whet stone back in the day, and I still have some floating around the house. These specialty knife sharpening systems are simply really good and easy to use.

The two main brands are GATCO (Great American Tool Company) and Lansky. They are nearly identical, and I’ve used the GATCO brand since the late Fred Bonner gave me one for Christmas in the mid ’90s. The premise is that different types of knives have different angles to the bevel (sharp part of the blade), and these sharpening systems enable one to stay on the same angle and use various sharpening stones affixed to rods to put the edge on a knife.

For instance, pictured is a Buck Zipper fixed blade knife, a popular model for deer hunters. The directions recommend using the 25-degree angle hole in the clamp. I bought an accessory clamp holder and attached it to a small plank of wood, which then clamps to my work surface. Starting with the course stone, you go up and down the blade, then flip and do the other side. Next I move to medium coarse, then fine, then extra fine until you can literally shave hair off of your arm (but don’t try that). For a typical folding or fixed blade hunting knife, it only takes about five minutes to go from dull to very sharp.

I’ll still carry a small portable sharpener if I’m going deer hunting, but these systems excel at rejuvenating an old or “abused” knife and making it useful again.

Any and all blades These sharpening systems can handle the full spectrum of blades, from utility to culinary.

Pocket and hunting knives are recommended for the 25-degree angle, but there are six angled holes in the clamp ranging from 11 degrees (razor blades and X-Acto knives) to 30 degrees (utility cutlery like carpet knives).

Sharpening serrated cutlery is also possible using a V-shaped stone. You use the 30-degree angle and sharpen each serration on the sharpened side of the blade. Kitchen knives have a range of uses, and the system’s instructions offer an equal range of sharpening angles to get it just right — 19 degrees for fillet knives and 22 degrees for most kitchen knives. It’s pretty nice to pick up any knife in the kitchen and know that it’s sharper than the day you brought it home.

The kits come with a small bottle of honing oil. The basic systems have three stones. The deluxe systems have five stones and use diamond surfaces for abrasion. Prices run from around $50 to just over $100. Go to lansky.com for more information on their systems. Bear & Son bought the GATCO sharpening division in 2016, so go to bearandsoncutlery.com for information on the GATCO system.

These sharpening systems may seem “over the top,” but they work, and work well. You may find yourself seeking out knives to sharpen if you purchase one, or better yet, unwrap one from under the tree.

GATCO 5-Stone sharpening system

Mike Zlotnicki

Mike Zlotnicki is associate editor at Wildlife in North Carolina magazine. He lives in Garner with his wife, three daughters and two German shorthaired pointers.

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