November 2015 • Free
To Post or Not to Post? LIKES AND DISLIKES
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HOLIDAY EVENTS
Around the Triangle
Talking About Adoption HOW TO DELIVER
THE NEWS
Maintaining COMMUNICATION
TIPS for parents and children who live apart
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2015-16
EDUCATION GUIDE Featuring 539 education resources in the Triangle, including local preschools, private schools, public school systems, charter schools, boarding schools and academic resources. View the digital edition online at
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November CONTENTS
FEATURES
19 23
The Holiday Season Lights Up in the Triangle
Not Here? Never Fear! Creative avenues for small talk when you’re away from your kids
24 26
Work-Life Balance Tips From High-Achieving Moms
You, Your Child and Social Media Likes and dislikes
28
Fun Games to Play at the Dinner Table
IN EVERY ISSUE
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November Online
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Editor’s Note
8 FYI 8 Community 8 Education 10 Health 12 Style 15 Growing Up
16 24
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Tech Talk
17 Hammer, Nails and Diaper Pails
18 Understanding Kids 19
29
Excursion
CALENDAR
30
31
Our Picks Daily Calendar
32 On Stage 37 Holiday Craft Fairs
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2015-16 A PUBLICATION OF
Redshirt or Enroll?
Determining what’s best for your future kindergartner
Virtual Charter Schools
2 new options for NC students
Read to ACHIEVE
539
A look at the program’s first year
EDUCATION RESOURCES FOR TRIANGLE FAMILIES
Find the Right School for Your Child Our 2015-16 Education Guide offers 539 education resources for Triangle families, including local preschools, private schools, public school systems, charter
Free Holiday Fun!
Social Savvy
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EDITOR’S NOTE morrismedianetwork.com
Modern Communication
U
p until age 18, I spent Thanksgiving with one parent, then Christmas with the other. The next year, my parents — who divorced when I was 2 — would switch it around. Back then, my sister and I communicated our holiday wishes to the absent parent via telephone. Today, well … we have a few more options. Now families who spend the holidays — or any day — apart from each other, communicate via text, email, tweet, tagged post, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat and a multitude of other modern sources. Often, a reassuring “I love you” or “Missing you” text with a heart or smiley face emoji is all it takes to strengthen the bond that already exists between parent and child. On page 23, we explore modern communication between family members. Experts offer advice on creative ways to keep small talk going with your child, as well as tips for how you can both maintain good communication and a strong relationship when you are apart. Speaking of modern communication, many parents opt not to post photos of or information about their child on their social media accounts for a variety of reasons. On page 26, we discuss why some parents are making this decision, and how they handle friends’ and family members’ reactions. The holidays have arrived in the Triangle! On page 19, one of our most popular articles of the year lays out a long list of festive events around the area for the entire family — from tree-lighting ceremonies and parades, to Santa sightings and holiday performances. And there’s more. Read the final installment of our work-life balance series on page 24, where you’ll meet two moms who managed to grow and nurture thriving careers without detracting from the job title that matters most to them: Mom. As you prepare to give thanks this year, add kindness to the list. On page 15, learn how raising your child to be kind and empathetic can boost their self-esteem and wellbeing in more ways than you might realize. We at Carolina Parent would like to send Thanksgiving gratitude to you for continuing to read our stories, comment on our blog posts, enter our contests, advertise on our pages and website, and share your ideas for future stories. May your Thanksgiving be filled with delicious food, beautiful weather and everyone you are thankful for.
GROUP PUBLISHER Sharon Havranek
EDITOR
Beth Shugg bshugg@carolinaparent.com
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Janice Lewine jlewine@carolinaparent.com
ART AND DIGITAL DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Melissa Stutts melissa.stutts@morris.com
ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR
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CONTACT US
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Phone: 919-956-2430 Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 advertising@carolinaparent.com editorial@carolinaparent.com Circulation 35,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards. Copyright 2015. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.
A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman and CEO William S. Morris III
Beth Shugg, Editor
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President Will S. Morris IV
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Photo courtesy of Make-A-Wish Eastern North Carolina
› fyi
| education
Photo courtesy of Alliance for a Healthier Generation Education
Durham Public Schools Receive National Award
community
Sensus Golf Classic Benefits Make-A-Wish Sensus, a Raleigh-based public service infrastructure solutions provider, raised a record $56,000 at its annual charity golf classic to benefit Make-A-Wish Eastern North Carolina. The event in September at the Lonnie Poole Golf Course in Raleigh featured 126 golfers. The golf classic has raised more than $124,000 since it was established in 2013. Make-AWish Eastern North Carolina helps make wishes come true for children diagnosed with life-threatening medical conditions. Learn more at eastnc.wish.org.
In recognition of their efforts to make the school day healthier, nine Durham public schools earned a National Healthy Schools Award from the Alliance for a Healthier Generation. The Alliance, founded by the American Heart Association and the Clinton Foundation to empower young people to lead healthy lives, presented the awards in October at its 2015 Leaders Summit in Washington, D.C. The schools include Bethesda Elementary, Brogden Middle School, Burton Elementary, Glenn Elementary School, Hillside High School, Hillside New Tech High School, Merrick-Moore Elementary School, Sherwood Githens Middle School and Spring Valley Elementary School. Learn more at healthiergeneration.org/about_us/leaders_summit.
WCPSS Graduation Rate Up Wake County Public Schools System’s four-year graduation rate in 2015 was the highest since the state began tracking graduation rates nine years ago, according to state data released in September. The rate of 86.1 percent marked a 3.2 percentage point increase from the previous year, the largest one-year gain ever in Wake County. Graduation rates increased for all student subgroups, including students with disabilities, economically disadvantaged students and limited English proficiency students. Learn more at ncpublicschools.org.
POLL
How does your family communicate when you are apart? Text
Phone
38% 8
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31%
Postal mail
31%
0%
For the Smile Of a Lifetime... Call today for an appointment! 919.489.1543 durhamPDO.com
121 W. Woodcroft Pkwy, Durham, NC 27713
John R. Christensen DDS, MS, MS
Felicia V. Swinney DMD, MS
Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics
Pediatric Dentistry
What did your two-year-old do in preschool today? Our twos had fun coding with PRIMO.
Half Day Preschool for ages 2 to 5!
Full day option available with a special program at Jasper’s or TKZ
Children love our Technology : One-on-one iPad Program, Coding, OSMO, and 3D Language Arts Program! Spanish & Chinese • Reading, Math & Writing • Art, Music, Science Smart Boards and iPads • Yoga • International Assessments After School Classes: Dance, Soccer, Chess, STEM Club Tour now for registration in January for the 2016-2017 school year.
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“Our son loves to learn again.” The Hill Center serves K-12 students who are struggling academically—especially those with learning differences or attention issues—through our School Year, Summer, Tutoring, and Teacher Training programs.
www.hillcenter.org carolinaparent.com | NOVEMBER 2015
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FYI
|
health
Compiled by Katherine Kopp
Track Flu Outbreaks on Campuses Benefits of Splitting Child Care Duties In a study of 487 heterosexual couples who split child care duties, researchers found that these couples have higher quality relationships and sex lives than those who don’t, according to new research presented at the 110th Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association.
A new smartphone app can help identify college students at risk of catching the flu, say researchers at UNC-Chapel Hill and Duke University. With help from a mobile app called iEpi, which uses Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and mobile connections to monitor the people students interact with and when they interact, epidemiologist Allison Aiello of UNC-Chapel Hill and statistician Katherine Heller of Duke University have developed a model that enables them to predict the spread of influenza from one person to the next over time. In theory, doctors could use such data to identify and alert at-risk students before they get sick or start to feel symptoms, or to encourage them to stay at home to avoid infecting other students. Close living quarters, low flu vaccination rates and busy social calendars make college students particularly prone to catching the virus. Of the nation’s 18 million undergraduates, more than 1 in 5 are likely to get the flu this year. Learn more about the iEpi app at dukechronicle.com/multimedia/17105.
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They also looked at each couple’s relationship quality (as indicated by relationship satisfaction and relationship conflict), sexual frequency and quality of sex life. The researchers found that when women were responsible for most or all of the child care, men and women reported lower quality relationships and sex lives compared to couples that split child care responsibilities. Learn more at scholarworks.gsu.edu (search for “division of child care”).
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Million
The maximum projected number of flu vaccine doses the CDC will provide for the U.S. market this year. Source: Pediatrics (April 2015)
Is Gratitude Good for Your Health? Two psychologists who researched gratitude asked participants in a study to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics. One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them. A third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. They also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation. For more information go to gratitudepower.net/science.htm.
carolinaparent.com
Please join us for an
Open House
featuring an informational session and school tours For parents and students:
For parents: Wednesday,
November 18, 8:15 - 11:00 am
Tuesday, November 3, 4:00-6:00 pm
Session will include the opportunity to observe in classrooms
Please RSVP to Cathy Clement, Director of Admissions cclement@sttimothys.org
PRE-KINDERGARTEN - 8TH GRADE • Community Environment
• Visual & Performing Arts Curriculum
• Spanish
• Hands-on Science
• Technology - 4 Computer Labs
• Convenient Midtown Location
ST. TIMOTHY’S
(919)681-9581
S C HO OL
4523 Six Forks Rd., Raleigh • 919.781.0531 • www.sttimothys.org carolinaparent.com | NOVEMBER 2015
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FYI
|
style
1.
November
Style Cuddle up! Drape, belt or wrap this season’s fun and flowing trend: the blanket scarf.
3.
2.
5.
4. 1. Black and Grey Plaid Wrap Poncho, target.com, $26.99 2. Grey Color Block Bow Gloves, katespade.com, $48 3. Black SONOMA Life + Style Leggings, kohls.com, $9.99 4. Ivory/Black Stripe Shaped Layering Turtleneck, landsend.com, $29.50 5. Green Opal Lorraine Studs, moonandlola.com, $52 Lauren Bell Isaacs is the digital media specialist for Carolina Parent.
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Kids Painting Classes/Parties •Kids birthdays starting at $15 •Track out camps
Family painting events
•Moms Night Out $25 •Private parties with 5 or more •Mommie N Me classes
Cheers N Paint at MacGregor Village, Cary 919.903.5223
cheersnpaint.com cheersnpaint@gmail.com
5
$
Off Coupon Any class $30 & above
Expires 11.30.15
Chapel Hill Pediatrics
&Adolescents
Open DAILY, including weekends and holidays
WE WELCOME Dr. Shruti Nagaraj, M.D. to our practice
"Walk-in availability" for established patients: Monday – Friday 7:15-7:50am & Sat/Sun 9am-2pm • Care from birth through college • Complimentary "meet and greet" sessions • International adoption care • Convenient parking • Same-day appointments • Comprehenisive sports & camp physicals TWO locations welcome NEW and established patients 205 Sage Rd., Suite 100 Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919-942-4173 249 East NC Hwy 54, Suite 230 Durham, NC 27713
www.chapelhillpeds.com carolinaparent.com | November 2015
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Seeking Employment? Carolina Parent, is seeking a full-time media consultant! If you are passionate about helping businesses achieve success, this is the job for you. You will call on prospects and existing clients to uncover marketing needs and provide creative solutions through customized programs and marketing channels. Two years sales experience, excellent communication and organizational skills required. Join our award-winning team and bring your creative ideas to life. Are you up for the challenge?
apply now to Send resume to jobs@carolinaparent.com
Kick off your Holidays on December 5th in Downtown Cary! Letters to Santa
Santa’s Mailbox at Town Hall. Nov. 23 - Dec. 12
Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony
Heart of the Holidays
Celebration
TOWN Of CARY For more call: (919) 319-4560 or visit: www.townofcary.org (search Heart of the Holidays) 14
NOVEMBER 2015 |
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The Gifting Tree Project
Pre-registration required. Academy Street, throughout Dec.
Art Show Receptions
Featuring talented local performers! Followed by the presentation of the Community Christmas Tree. Town Hall, 6 p.m.
Town Hall Gallery, Herb Young Community Center & the Cary Arts Center, 2 - 4 p.m.
Santa’s Workshop
Carolers, carriage rides and more! Page-Walker, 4 - 6 p.m.
Crafts and a visit from Santa! Herb Young Community Center 10 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.
5th annual Gingerbread House Competition
Houses on display in Downtown Cary. Pre-registration required. Downtown Cary, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.
Films @ The Cary
Holiday Christmas classics! The Cary, 10 a.m., 7:00 & 9:30 p.m.
Page-Walker Arts & History Center Holiday Open House
Heart of Cary Association’s ‘Ole Time Winter Festival
Arts & crafts, entertainment and food. Downtown Cary, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.
Cary Players - “Dashing Through the Snow” Don’t miss this family-friendly comedy! Cary Arts Center, 3 & 8 p.m.
› Growing Up be teaching children not to strike back, says Chris Phelps, founder of Campaign for Kindness and a co-author of “Margo’s Magnificent Choice” and “Max’s Magnificent Choice.” “To create a kinder world, we must teach children not to internalize behavior directed toward them, but (to) ‘let it go,’” she says. “My first question when a child complains about another kid is ‘Do you feel you’ve done something to deserve to be treated that way?’ If the answer is no, like it most often is, we have the ‘whose issue is it?’ conversation. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the person demonstrating tacky behavior is the one with the issue.” Helping children depersonalize unkind acts keeps tempers from flaring, reducing retaliation and paving the way for kindness to take hold. Of course, if your child is the victim of repeated unkindness or bullying behavior, engage your child’s teacher and principal right away.
Raising Kind Kids By Malia Jacobson
Ages 13-18
W
ant to raise happier, more successful kids? Kindness counts. Researchers from the University of British Columbia and University of California Riverside
found that performing three acts of kindness each week improved grade-schoolers’ happiness, satisfaction and popularity with peers. Kinder kids report better self-esteem and well-being and are generally more well-liked by peers. Also, kindness-training programs have been shown to decrease bullying in schools. Convinced? Here are some strategies to help you raise kids who show and share kindness. Ages 1-5
Empathy Training Though toddlers can seem patently unkind — biting, hitting and grabbing toys with abandon — parents should understand that their tots don’t harbor unkind motivations, says licensed family therapist Allison Lee-Shaner of Winston Salem. Toddlers are still developing a sense of empathy, or the understanding of how their actions impact others, and seemingly unkind acts are usually ways to test boundaries and learn about others’ reactions. Parents can help tots foster a budding sense of empathy by modeling kind acts and directing children to use “kind hands” and “kind words,” then demonstrating what those things look and
sound like. For example, parents can model this kind of behavior when handling the family pet or interacting with siblings and friends. Gently redirect unkind behavior and take a firm stance on physical acts of unkindness, like pushing a friend or pulling a sibling’s hair, by briefly removing your child from the play scene when these kinds of incidents occur. Ages 6-12
Let It Go The school years bring more interaction with peers and, invariably, conflicts that bubble up when kids butt heads. Most school-agers wind up on the receiving end of words or actions that sting at some time or another. The goal should
Family Challenge Creating a kinder home can be challenging — and may even seem downright impossible — with squabbling teen siblings competing for airspace. If screaming teen sibs make kindness seem unattainable, don’t give up. First, parents need to set the tone they want the family to have, Phelps says. If you don’t want siblings to yell at each other, don’t yell at them. Pick a weekly “family fun” activity to do together as a unit — this creates shared memories and conversation fodder that help generate sibling goodwill. Consider embarking on a month-long “kindness challenge” within the family. Define parameters for your challenge together, like how many acts of kindness each member of the family should perform, whether kind acts should remain anonymous, whether money should be involved and so on. Plan a family reward, like a concert or dinner out, for the end of the month when you’ll likely be a kinder, and happier, bunch. Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. carolinaparent.com | November 2015
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› TECH TALK Respect tech-free zones. Many families enjoy each other’s company more if they put technology off-limits at particular times. Mealtime and bedtime are obvious choices but you might also set aside time for a walk after dinner or game night on the weekend. Once you decide on rules that make sense for your family, be sure you follow as well enforce them.
Dealing With Distraction By Carolyn Jabs
M
any parents are conscientious about making rules for when and how kids can use technology. But what about rules for parents? Harvard University
psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair interviewed more than 1,000 children ages 4-18 for her book, “The Big Disconnect.” Over and over, she heard kids talk about how they felt frustrated or forlorn because their parents spent too much time on their cellphones.
The same results showed up in the State of the Kid Survey, conducted by Highlights Magazine in 2014. Over half the children surveyed reported that their parents often didn’t respond to them because they were distracted by technology such as laptops, cellphones or television. Emailing, texting or even scrolling through social media preoccupies parents in a way that can make children feel shut out, lonely and unimportant. At the same time, giving kids constant undivided attention isn’t possible or desirable. Children need to learn how to sooth and amuse themselves. Here are a few things to consider. Focus on safety. After years of decline, visits to pediatric emergency rooms have risen. No one can prove cellphones are responsible, but research shows that adults who use cellphones while walking, much less driving,
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are more likely to have accidents. For safety’s sake, parents (and other caregivers) should put away all devices when supervising kids in risky settings — changing tables, bathtubs, parking lots, city streets, swimming pools and playgrounds — where even a moment of inattention can be dangerous. Make the most of reunions. Adair recommends putting devices on hold when family members see each other after they’ve been separated. Plan ahead so you can stop what you’re doing, and let your child know how happy you are to see him or her. Teach (and appreciate) patience. There’s nothing wrong with asking a child to wait while an adult finishes a task. How long a child can be patient depends upon age and other stresses. Thank your child for being patient while you wrap up your chat or project.
Monitor emotions. In one recent study conducted by the Department of Pediatrics at Boston Medical Center/Boston University Medical Center, researchers observed caregivers and children in a restaurant. Most of the adults used a cellphone during the meal, and those who were most focused on their phones responded harshly to interruptions. Some kids gave up and sat passively, but others became more disruptive in an effort to get the adult’s attention. If negative feelings are building in you or your child, it’s time to take a tech break and focus on your child. If you have to correct misbehavior, feel and show compassion for what has caused it. Notice what your child is doing right. Ask yourself what you can do to restore good feelings. Make good use of found time. Even when life is busy, there are moments of unclaimed time. Your toddler is napping. Your teen is engrossed in homework. Use these moments to replenish — not deplete — your energies. Be selective about emails or texts you respond to on your device. Finally, think about times in your life when you have felt treasured and loved. In all likelihood, you had another person’s full attention. Be sure your child regularly has that experience in your company. Read together. Share a snack. Take a walk. What you do doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that you let go of everything else to share your undistracted love. Carolyn Jabs raised three computer-savvy kids, including one with special needs. Visit growing-up-online.com to read more of her columns.
›
HAMMERS, NAILS & DIAPER PAILS
The Quiet Thanksgiving By patrick Hempfing
A
little part of me feels like a hypocrite. Since September 2011, I’ve written a monthly column that reminds readers to “cherish the moments.” Obviously, we cherish some moments more than others, but whether it’s a spectacular moment or a stressful one, we don’t get the minutes back, so we may as well make the best of them. Yet here I sit, wondering if my present circumstances reflect my own good advice. In five hours, it will be Thanksgiving Day, and by my own choice, I’ll be spending it alone. The day will be different from previous Thanksgivings. I’ll have turkey, but it will be of the cold-cut variety, slapped on a foot-long sub roll by a fast-food employee. Every other Thanksgiving, my turkey has been hot, smothered in gravy and served by someone I love. Even though Thanksgiving is not about the food, I’ll miss the freshly made filling and delicious apple pie covered with heaps of whipped cream. Thanksgiving is not about football, either, but after eating 2,000 calories, it sure feels good to stretch out on the sofa to watch the games. I like to enjoy part of the action with my eyelids closed and my mouth hanging open, and I’m not usually the only one snoring. As much as I enjoy the food, football and nap, for me, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks and spending quality time with family. This year I’m still thankful, but I chose to spend the holiday without my family to catch up on work. My wife, Mattie, left with my 10-year-old daughter, Jessie, two days ago. They’ll have a wonderful time celebrating Thanksgiving with family in Florida. I had planned to go, but after careful consideration, I opted to stay home. It’s just my dog, Sadie, and me. Sadie would
have preferred playing with my relatives’ dogs in Florida and snacking on the Thanksgiving turkey. I’m pretty sure she’s mad at me. So with Thanksgiving Day only a few hours away, I’m all alone in my dirty house with my angry dog. After the past couple of months, I’m due for a little time to be master of my castle, instead of just the “man chair” tucked in the corner of the garage. First, I battled a respiratory infection that required four trips to the doctor’s office, cough medicine with codeine, steroids (oral and nasal), penicillin, another kind of antibiotics, a chest X-ray and an inhaler. I spent seven weeks spitting, hacking, sleeping upright in my recliner and wondering if I would need to finish my manuscript wearing angel wings. I lost 8 pounds. During this time, Mattie had work that required her to go out of town, not once, but twice — and they weren’t short trips. A few days before the planned Thanksgiving trip, I reluctantly informed Mattie of my decision to stay home to work. I added, “I feel like a hypocrite because I tell my readers to cherish the moments. How can I miss Thanksgiving with my family?”
Mattie, knowing that I really needed the time, responded, “It’s okay. You need to cherish the moments with yourself right now.” Wow, I married well. As I chew my Thanksgiving sub tomorrow, a number of thoughts will likely cross my mind. This isn’t my mother-inlaw’s turkey. It’s okay, Sadie, jump up on the sofa beside me. Most importantly, I can’t wait for Mattie and Jessie to return. My man chair works just fine; I don’t need a whole house to myself. Yet I will also be thankful for the peace and quiet, something we all need at times. That doesn’t make me a hypocrite. Until next month, remember to cherish the moments, and Happy Thanksgiving! Patrick Hempfing had a 20-year career in banking, accounting and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad and author of a monthly column titled “moMENts.” Follow Hempfing at facebook.com/patricklhempfing and twitter.com/patrickhempfing.
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Understanding Kids should take place gradually and over the course of an adoptee's childhood and young adulthood. Over time, he will have different thoughts, feelings and questions about his adoption. Parents of adopted children will do them a great service by staying open and ready to listen and talk. Other considerations: Does your child have emotional difficulties that may be related or unrelated to the adoption? Does she become avoidant or reactive when you talk about it? In some cases, guidance from mental health professionals can help children and parents communicate their feelings about the adoption with each other.
Talking About Adoption By lucy Daniels Center staff
E
very adopted child’s situation is different, which means every family has its own unique way of talking about adoption. Some children are adopted at birth, some during infancy and others in their teen years. Some children are adopted before they develop a relationship with their birthparent(s), some have bonding time with their birthparent(s) and some experience multiple relationships with relatives or foster families before settling with their forever family. There are other issues, but this sample is enough to convey the scope of possibilities in any given situation. The specifics of any child’s circumstances also lead to other, deeper questions: Were there prior relationships that had or have meaning to the child? Have those relationships remained a part of the child’s life? Does the child have conscious memories of the time before their adoption? Are there siblings in the family who were not adopted? Are there multiple adoptions in the family? There is no “out of the book” way to talk about one’s adoption — only sensible and sensitive ways to respond to the particular and individual situation. The following guidelines are based on our understanding of the emotional development of all children.
essential when helping a child understand who she is and where she came from. Honesty, however, must be timed so a child can bear any painful realities that might exist. How does a parent explain to a child that her early life experiences took place in a neglectful or abusive setting? Or that the birthparents may have loved the child but couldn’t keep him? These are questions to be considered as you think about how the dialogue will unfold. Give this information in small doses, over time, with increasing detail as the child moves through grade school and adolescence. As you do so, take some time to anticipate how your words may be interpreted and understood.
Be honest. It may feel easier and less painful to romanticize the story of a child’s past and adoption, but being truthful is
Have a sense of what your child can handle, developmentally and emotionally. Ideally, the conversation about adoption
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Help your child develop a narrative. Parents who actively work to create an honest and meaningful life story will foster resiliency in their child. For adopted children, this involves weaving together their individual story with the family narrative of their birth family, and narratives of the family who has adopted them. Keep the discussion open and ongoing. Many families introduce talks about the adoption from the very beginning. This allows for development of a story that can be refined and added to over time in a natural way. Parents of adopted children can set the stage for open, honest and ongoing communication by conveying their willingness to talk as well as their comfort with all aspects of the discussion. Be careful not to assume that your child isn’t thinking about his past or the particulars of the adoption simply because he is not talking about it with you. Keep the door open, and you will ultimately provide your child with a safe, comforting environment to learn and grow. The Lucy Daniels Center is a nonprofit agency in Cary that promotes the emotional health and well-being of children and families. Visit lucydanielscenter.org to learn more.
The Holiday Season
Lights Up in the Triangle By Janice Lewine
Triangle towns offer plenty of festivities to get families into the holiday spirit, from Christmas parades and Santa sightings, to joyous Hanukkah and Kwaanza celebrations. Be sure to check with event sponsors before heading out, since plans can change based on inclement weather or other unexpected conditions.
APEX Carriage rides, caroling and a tree-lighting ceremony highlight Christmas on Salem Street in downtown Apex Dec. 4, 5-9 p.m. The Salem Street firehouse serves a pancake breakfast for families Dec. 5, 7-10 a.m., and the town’s Christmas parade starts at 5 p.m. apexdowntown.com, apexrotary.org. Celebrate Chanukah in downtown Apex Dec. 6 by making your own dreidel, decorating donuts and enjoying stories, a bounce house and more. See the website for hours. A grand menorah lighting starts at 5 p.m. Halle Cultural Arts Center, 237 N. Salem St., Apex. 919-651-9710. chabadofcary. org (search for “Apex”).
CARY Waverly Place in Cary hosts a winter wonderland and tree-lighting celebration Nov. 20, 6-8:30 p.m. Enjoy face painting, ornament making, trackless train rides and holiday music. The treelighting event takes place at 7 p.m. waverlycary.com. Booth Amphitheatre in Cary sparkles with a Chinese
Lantern Festival Nov. 28Jan. 3; hours are 6:30-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday, and 6:30-11 p.m. Friday-Saturday. The festival features 20 light displays illuminated by thousands of LED lights. Chinese performers entertain on weekends. Purchase tickets, $20 adults and $12 ages 3-17, online at boothamphitheatre. com/nc-chinese-lanternfestival-cary. Downtown Cary’s Ole Time Winter Festival Dec. 5, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., features live entertainment, arts and crafts, food and a visit from Santa. Families can experience old-fashioned holiday fun and horse-drawn carriage rides at the Page-Walker Arts and History Center, an historic 1868 hotel in the heart of Cary, 4-6 p.m. The town’s tree-lighting ceremony takes place at 6 p.m. at the Town Hall Campus. See live performances and the unveiling of a community tree decorated with handcrafted ornaments. 919-469-4061. townofcary.org. Celebrate Jewish culture with crafts, traditional foods and the lighting of a 9-foot menorah at the Jewish
Cultural Festival Dec. 10 at 4:30 p.m. at the Cary Arts Center. 919-460-4963. townofcary.org. The Cary Jaycees host the 2015 Cary Christmas Parade Dec. 12 at 2 p.m. See the website for the parade route. caryjaycees. org/cary-jaycees-christmasparade. Cary’s Kwanzaa Celebration, sponsored by the Town of Cary and The Ujima Group, is Dec. 29, 3 p.m., at the Cary Arts Center. Celebrate the Nguzu Saba — seven powerful principals derived from African heritage. 919-4604963. townofcary.org.
CHAPEL HILL Chapel Hill’s Downtown Holiday Tree Lighting Ceremony is Nov. 29, 6-7 p.m., at Memorial Garden of University Baptist Church on Columbia Street. Children can have their pictures taken with Santa and Mrs. Claus. downtownchapelhill.com/ celebrations#. The Carolina Inn in Chapel Hill offers its 17th Annual Twelve Days of Christmas event series Dec. 1-Jan. 2, which includes a gingerbread
village display, decorated trees, opportunities to eat breakfast with Santa on select days, cookie decorating events and more. 12daysevents.com. Themed floats, marching bands and Santa highlight the Chapel Hill-Carrboro Holiday Parade Dec. 12, which begins at 10 a.m. on E. Franklin Street in downtown Chapel Hill and ends at noon on Main Street in Carrboro. chapelhillholidayparade.com.
DURHAM Santa arrives at his workshop at Northgate Mall in Durham Nov. 21 at 10:30 a.m. Enjoy music, mingle with Santa’s elves and make holiday-themed crafts. Santa’s Workshop will be open Saturdays Nov. 21Dec. 19 in the mall’s center court and features different kids’ activities each week. northgatemall.com. Duke Homestead in Durham hosts Christmas by Candlelight Dec. 4 and 11, 7-9 p.m. Enjoy caroling, tours of the homestead and hot cider. Tickets are $6 for adults and $3 for ages 10 and younger. Meet Santa, make crafts and gather for storytelling at the
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homestead’s Victorian Family Christmas Dec. 13, 1-4 p.m. Tickets are $2/person and free for ages 6 and younger. 919477-5498. dukehomestead.org. Tour a plantation, make a Victorian-era ornament and enjoy gingerbread and hot cocoa when Historic Stagville in Durham invites families to its Christmas in the Big House, Christmas in the Quarters event Dec. 5, noon-4 p.m. Admission is free. Lantern tours of the quarters, 4:30-8 p.m., offer a nighttime perspective of the once-enslaved people on the plantation. Tours are $5 adults, $3 kids. 919-620-0120. stagville.org/events. Durham hosts its annual Holiday Fun Fest Dec. 5, 1-5 p.m., at Rock Quarry Park featuring live entertainment, pony rides, snow sledding and a visit with Santa. Durham’s Kwanzaa celebration is Dec. 30, 6-8 p.m., at the Holton Career and Resource Center. 919-5604355. durhamnc.gov. Celebrate the season with living historians who demonstrate cooking and gift-wrapping in the 19th century during Christmas in the Carolinas During the Civil War at Bennett Place State Historic Site in Durham Dec. 12, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Ole St. Nick will also make an appearance. 919-383-4345. bennettplacehistoricsite.com/ special-events.
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The Parkwood community in Durham welcomes families to its holiday parade on Seaton Road Dec. 5, 3-5 p.m. The rain date is Dec. 12. 919-544-2161. parkwoodnc.org. West Point on the Eno in Durham showcases festive music, holiday crafts from yesteryear and more at its Christmas Open House Dec. 13, 1-5 p.m. dprplaymore.org.
RALEIGH Cameron Village in Raleigh hosts its annual Holiday Open House Nov. 19, 5-8 p.m. Take the family for live entertainment and a visit from Santa. 2108 Clark Ave., Raleigh. shopcameronvillage. com/event/openhouse/2145461766. The annual WRAL Raleigh Christmas Parade is Nov. 21, 9:40 a.m., in downtown Raleigh. The parade begins at the corner of Hillsborough and St. Mary’s streets and features holiday-themed floats, marching bands, classic cars and large balloons. grma.org/ christmas-parade. Lafayette Village in Raleigh welcomes the holiday season with Lighting of the Tree 2015, Nov. 21, 4-8 p.m. 8450 Honeycutt Rd., Raleigh. lafayettevillageraleigh.com. The Ipreo Raleigh Winterfest kick-off is Dec. 5, 3-10 p.m., on Fayetteville Street in downtown Raleigh. The event features a treelighting ceremony, carnival
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rides, ice skating and more. raleighwinterfest.com. Kids can play holiday games, make crafts and watch costumed re-enactors demonstrate 18th-century life when Joel Lane Museum House in Raleigh hosts its Colonial Christmas Open House Dec. 5, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 919-833-3431. joellane.org/ joellane/visitor_info/events/ colonial-christmas-openhouse. Mordecai Holiday Open House in Raleigh ushers in the holiday season Dec. 12, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Admission is free. Take one of the lantern tours, which run 5-10 p.m., through the house and grounds to watch vignettes of the Mordecai family, soldiers and enslaved people during the Civil War. Tickets are $5/ person. reclink.raleighnc.gov/ activities/activitiesadvsearch. asp#top (click on “advanced search” and search for “Mordecai”).
Express event. Enjoy lights and displays, a train ride, a carousel ride, crafts and a visit with Santa. Limited tickets are available for $8/person. Purchase tickets online at raleighnc.gov/holidayexpress. The North Carolina Symphony’s Holiday Pops entertains with carols, a singalong and a visit from Santa Nov. 27 at 7:30 p.m. and Nov. 28 at 3 p.m. at Meymandi Concert Hall in Raleigh. Purchase tickets, $42-$72, at ncsymphony.org. The North Carolina State Capitol Christmas TreeLighting and Holiday Festival takes place on Union Square in Raleigh Dec. 10, 5-7:30 p.m. The Governor and First Lady will light the tree at 5:30 p.m. and families can enjoy holiday activities on Union Square and Bicentennial Plaza. ncstatecapitol.org/events.html.
OTHER TRIANGLE TOWNS
Hop aboard Santa’s Trolley to help Holly the Elf find Santa in time for Christmas. Tours run Dec. 18-19, 5-7:45 p.m. Call 919-857-4364 for tickets, $10/ person. reclink.raleighnc.gov/ activities/activitiesadvsearch. asp#top (click on “advanced search” and search for “trolley”).
Benson’s Christmas on Main event is Dec. 4. Live entertainment starts at 6 p.m. at Benton Square. The town lights its tree at 6:40 p.m. Benson’s holiday parade begins at 6:45 p.m. Santa visits after the parade. 919-894-3825. bensonchamber.com/christmas_on_ main.php.
Pullen Park in Raleigh transforms into a winter wonderland Dec. 3-6 and Dec. 10-13 from 4-9 p.m. for its popular Holiday
Main Street in Clayton is transformed into a Christmas Village with live music, a treelighting ceremony and live nativity Dec. 3, 6-8:30 p.m.
The town’s holiday parade on Main Street is Dec. 12 at 3 p.m. 919-553-6352. downtownclayton.org. Families in Fuquay-Varina can enjoy free sleigh rides downtown and a tree-lighting ceremony Dec. 3, 6-8 p.m. Bring a canned food item, which serves as a ticket for the sleigh ride and benefits the Fuquay-Varina Emergency Food Pantry. The FuquayVarina Christmas Parade is Dec. 6 at 3 p.m. on Main Street. fuquayvarinadowntown.com and fuquay-varina.com/ event/2015-fuquay-varinachristmas-parade. A tree-lighting ceremony hosted by Mayor Ronnie Williams kicks off Garner’s Light Up Main event, Dec. 4, 6-8 p.m. Local entertainment, food and arts and crafts round out the fun. The Garner Christmas Parade on Main Street takes place Dec. 5 at 2 p.m. This year’s parade theme is “Home for the Holidays” and parade-goers can celebrate the joy of giving in conjunction with the town’s Toys for Tots Toy Drive. 919-661-4602. garnernc.gov/holiday. Hillsborough turns on the holiday charm with its Holiday Parade – Light Up the Night event Dec. 5, 4:45 p.m., which begins on Corbin Street and ends at E. Margaret Lane. The town lights its tree and offers family-friendly activities after the parade. 919-732-8156. hillsboroughchamber.com.
Holly Springs’ annual Main Street Christmas takes place Dec. 11, 6-8 p.m. The event includes hayrides, a live nativity and entertainment. Mrs. Claus reads stories at the Cultural Center and Santa visits with children at Town Hall until 7:30 p.m. The night concludes with the town’s tree-lighting ceremony at 8 p.m. at the Cultural Center. Holly Springs’ Happy Holly Days Parade on Main Street is Dec. 12 at 11 a.m. 919-557-3930. hollyspringsnc. us/index.aspx?NID=487. Kids can visit with Mrs. Claus and Santa’s elves, and enjoy activities when Knightdale ushers in the holidays at Knightdale Station Park Amphitheater during Christmas on Frist Avenue Dec. 4, 6-8 p.m. Santa visits at the end of the evening. Knightdale’s Christmas parade takes place Dec. 5 at 2 p.m. 919-217-2236. knightdalenc. gov/index.aspx?page=319. Carriage rides, strolling carolers, a tree-lighting ceremony, marshmallow roasts, kids activities and St. Nicholas highlight downtown Mebane’s Hometown Holiday Celebration Nov. 21, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. The Mebane Christmas Parade is Dec. 4 at 7 p.m. downtownmebane.com. Morrisville’s Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony, featuring musical entertainment, crafts and a visit from Santa, is Dec. 4, 7-9 p.m. at Indian Creek Trailhead. 919-463-7110.
townofmorrisville.org (search for “Christmas”). Magical Winter Lights at Park West Village in Morrisville Dec. 11-20 features nightly shows with real, falling snow from 6-8 p.m. On weekends, enjoy free train rides, carolers, and storytime with Santa. parkwestvillage. net/event/magical-winterlights. New Hope Valley Railway’s Holiday Santa Trains offer rides in open cars decorated with holiday trimmings along 8 miles of scenic railway in New Hill. The trains run Dec. 5, 6, 12 and 13 at 9:30 a.m., 11 a.m., 12:30 p.m., 2 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. Advance ticket purchase is recommended. See website for prices. 919-3625416. triangletrain.com. The Pittsboro Christmas Parade is Dec. 13, 3 p.m., in downtown Pittsboro. 919-542-4621. pittsboronc.gov. The Selma Christmas Parade is Dec. 1 at 7 p.m. selma-nc. com/selma-christmas-parade. Smithfield gets festive with its annual Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony Dec. 3 at 7 p.m. at the corner of Third and Market streets. Santa will make an appearance, and families can decorate cookies and enjoy carolers. The annual Smithfield Christmas Parade is on Market Street Dec. 10 at 7 p.m. smithfieldnc.com/pages/departments/ parks&rec/holiday.html.
The Lighting of Wake Forest on Dec. 4, 6-8 p.m., includes horse and carriage rides, pictures with Santa, performances by local choirs and the lighting of the town’s 30-foot Christmas tree at Town Hall on South Brooks Street. School and dance group performances, carriage rides and activities for families highlight the Downtown Merchants Association’s Holiday Open House Dec. 5, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. The town’s holiday parade takes place Dec. 12 at 1 p.m. in downtown Wake Forest. 919-435-9415. wakeforestnc.gov/christmasin-wake-forest.aspx. Hill Ridge Farms in Youngsville hosts a Festival of Lights Nov. 26-Dec. 26, 5-9 p.m. Sunday-Thursday, and 5-10 p.m. Friday-Saturday. Take a covered wagon hayride through holiday lights, bonfires and music. Admission is $10 for ages 4 and older, free for ages 3 and younger. Train rides are $3/person. 919-5561771. hillridgefarms.com. Santa poses with children for free photos at Zebulon’s Municipal Town Complex, Dec. 4, 5:30-7:30 p.m. The Zebulon Christmas Parade is Dec. 6 at 2 p.m. townofzebulon.org and zebulonchamber.org. Janice Lewine is the associate editor at Carolina Parent.
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Not Here?
Never Never
! r a e F
Creative avenues for small talk when you’re away from your kids By Karen Alley
T
he best conversations with your children generally happen when you least expect them. “How was your day?” after school might garner just a monosyllabic grunt. Meaningful conversations occur in the car, doing chores together, getting ready for bed or during television commercials. Daily small talk is an important part of building and maintaining good relationships, but parents who are often away from their children due to business travel or divorce miss out on some of this routine. “Parenting is something that really involves presence,” says Stephanie Rodriguez, assistant professor of communications at Texas A&M University, Corpus-Christi. Through her own research, Rodriguez found that parents who have little daily communication with their children feel they are missing out on important moments in their child’s life, which leads to feeling disconnected. Luckily, there are ways to build and maintain a strong relationship when you and your child are apart.
Attending Activities Preschool and early elementary school-aged children enjoy parents taking part in their activities. Volunteering in their classroom, eating lunch with them at school, or
Holiday
Communication
attending sports practices and games are good ways to get to know their friends and increase participation in their daily lives.
Texting Texting is a good way to communicate less important messages that don’t warrant a phone call, but texting can also get out of control. “As a general rule, texting during the day might seem invasive to a child,” says Anne Dickerson, a family counselor in Charlotte. “Kids who are old enough to have phones usually are the age where they don’t want too much parental contact during their normal, daily routines.” In other words, use texting to stay in touch without intruding. “A short, ‘Hi, just thinking of you,’ with a few emojis is a good way to connect with your child,” says Tony Delmedico, a family counselor in Raleigh.
Social Media Keeping up with your child through her social media account(s) can be a good way to learn about the smaller details of her day. “Following your child’s posts can give you something to reference when you do talk face-to-face or on the phone,” Rodriguez says. “However, you still want to behave in a socially-appropriate way for a parent.”
Phone Calls Traditional as they might be, phone calls are a great way to connect with your child, no matter what his or her age. Spark productive conversations with specific questions like, “What did you have for lunch?” or “What was your favorite part of P.E. today?” Remember, it’s OK if you don’t always have long conversations. “Your child might be in the middle of homework or playing video games and not want to talk, but the important thing is that a phone call lets them know you’re thinking about them,” Delmedico says.
Set Aside Your Differences Some of the burden of sharing information about what’s going on in a child’s life falls on his parents, and it helps when both work together, rather than against, each other. “Just being respectful of your child’s relationship with the other parent is important in maintaining good communication for everyone,” Delmedico says. Karen M. Alley is a freelance writer and editor. She is proud to be a parent in a blended family and has contributed parenting articles to various magazines, in addition to maintaining her blog, “Blending it Up.”
Family communication can become more tense during the holidays. Tony Delmedico, a family counselor in Raleigh, and Anne Dickerson, a family counselor in Charlotte, offer some advice for how to handle holiday communication. “Holidays often present a time for parents without primary custody to spend more time with their kids. The natural tendency is to swoop in and overdo,” Delmedico says. “But it’s more important to just strive for regular time, whatever that might look like for your family.” “When you aren’t with your child, when talking to them on the phone or texting, it is important to convey that the child is missed, while steering clear of sending any messages that might make the child feel guilty or worry about the happiness of the parent,” Dickerson says.
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Jennifer Durbin says work is a part of who she is. Photo courtesy of the Durbin family
PASSIONATE PURSUITS
WORK-LIFE BALANCE TIPS FROM
High-Achieving Moms BY ODILE FREDERICKS
Some moms love their “work” — at home and at the office. But can American working mothers who want to pursue both passions succeed in today’s world, where the U.S. lags behind other developed countries in supportive family policies, according to the Pew Research Center? In this final installment of our three-part series on working moms, two North Carolina women share how they’ve reached professional heights while holding their families close.
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Jennifer Durbin of Raleigh admits to being passionate and ambitious about work. It’s part of who she is — as much as being a mom and a wife. Over the years, she has found ways to stay passionate about her job, her two boys — ages 4 and 6 — and husband and keep them all happy. The secret is managing the details, she says, noting that scheduling matters since her husband travels frequently and she does occasionally. “The balancing act is crazy,” she says. “But for me it’s worth it. And it’s the little things that make the biggest difference.” Since assuming the role of director of global support services at RTI, where she is in charge of a team of 45, she has sought the help of sitters and housekeepers. Hiring help made sense in June last year after she became responsible for all of the company’s IT helpdesk support. Previously, her job within the company had fewer responsibilities and she was able to work from home two days a week. But Durbin says moving into uncharted territories is what drives her. She says she’s not afraid of seizing challenges and following her interests. After graduating from Meredith College with a political studies degree, she earned an executive masters of business administration from UNC-Chapel Hill’s Kenan-Flagler Business School in 2007 while working at RTI. Over her 12 years at the company, she has worked in finance and information technology, where she helped set up audit procedures. From there, she created RTI’s security and compliance division, becoming the company’s first information security officer, and went on to lead RTI’s global support services organization. Dubin says RTI has been “very flexible with me in that they’ve allowed me to follow my passion, so that, I really believe, helped me contribute to my work/life balance, because work is such a part of my world. I’m not coming to a job that I don’t
like, but I have a career that enhances me as an individual.” Her philosophy: You can learn as you go and find resources to help you along the way. It’s the reason she has written a series of “Clueless Chick” books. She got the idea for the series after she was among the first of her friends to become pregnant and they began asking her for advice. “The whole idea behind the name is really owning the fact that we all feel a little clueless sometimes,” she says. “It’s terribly overwhelming — the pressure that we all feel to be perfect and have answers for everything, and have the perfect children and the perfect house and not mess anything up. My goal is to say, ‘It’s OK. You don’t have to know everything. You just have to be able to figure it out.’’ Having a husband who backs up her decisions is important, she says, and her relationship with him really matters. She schedules time not just for the family, but also just for the two of them. “My husband and I are in this together and he supports my career and I support his career,” she says. “And from my perspective, I feel like it is a really good example for me to set for my boys — that it’s perfectly OK for me to have a life outside of the home and a career that I am passionate about as long as I can make it all work.”
BETWEEN THE LINES Kristy Woodson Harvey of Kinston fits the bill of an “overachiever.” This self-described Type A personality and North Carolina native wrote “Dear Carolina,” a work of fiction, during sleepless nights shortly after her son’s birth when she was 26 years old. “Really and truly, the child never slept,” she says of her newborn, Will. “I wrote a lot of “Dear Carolina” in the middle of the night because he didn’t sleep very much, and by the time I would be done with one feeding, he would be up again, an hour for the next one, so I wouldn’t be able to sleep for this short little burst. So I would just write.”
Kristy Woodson Harvey changed her career choice after her son was born. Photo courtesy of the Harvey family Published this year by Penguin Random House, Woodson Harvey wrote the book as a Southern tale written to “baby Carolina” by both Carolina’s birth mother, “Jodi,” and adoptive mother, “Khaki”. Woodson Harvey says the characters came to her as she was holding Will and thinking about how hard it would be to give him up. Once her son was born, Woodson Harvey says she realized she had to make choices. “I finally started just sitting down and figuring out what were the most important things to me in my life,” she says. “Then I started realizing that (work-life) balance for me is no longer a day-to-day situation. … For me, I was driving myself a little bit crazy trying to do all my ‘balanced things’ every single day because there just weren’t enough hours in the day. So now I have just started to look at it as a sort of big-picture situation.” For example, when “Dear Carolina” first came out, she knew that for a few weeks, life would be focused on publicity, and she was not going to be able to exercise and make meals at home every night. She’s now busy editing the manuscript
of her book, “Lies and Other Acts of Love,” set for release next April, while also running an online interior design business called Design Chic with her mother. The business is a blog that began as a hobby but has grown organically over the past six years as advertisers came across it. Finding time to do everything is not easy, but Woodson Harvey says having a supportive husband who doesn’t work on Fridays helps. “They’ll have their dad-son time on Fridays, and I’ll really get a lot of work done and try to catch up on things from the week. It’s not always perfect, but we make it work.” She also considers herself “really lucky” because when she’s writing novels, she’s also satisfying herself. “It’s time that I feel like I’m taking care of myself,” she says. “So I feel really fortunate that doing my job also fulfills me as a person.” Odile Fredericks is the web editor of Carolina Parent.
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You, Your Child and Social Media LIKES
AND DISLIKES BY KATHRYN CAPRINO
A 2015 Pew Research Center report states that three-quarters of parents use Facebook and, of those parents, 94 percent engage actively. If you are one of those active social media users, have you considered the pros and cons of posting about your children?
THE PROS 1. Social media provides a great way to quickly and comprehensively update friends and family. Carrboro mother of two and Facebook and Instagram poster, Jessica*, says her grandmother follows her on Instagram. “When I would email her pictures she didn’t know how to view them easily,” Jessica says. “Instagram has video … so she gets to see them (her greatgrandchildren) in action as well. She loves to scroll through and see smiling baby faces.” 2. Social media offers a forum for support. About 45 percent of social media-using mothers say they receive parenting advice and support via social media, according to Pew Research.
THE CONS 1. More people than you realize may see your posts. Parents typically have about 150 Facebook friends but only
consider a third of them actual friends, according to Pew Research. Consider privacy settings and
when he’s in high school? “As kids get older, parents need to really think through the short-term
avoid including too much identifying information, advises Kristen Wynns, a Cary- and Raleigh-based licensed psychologist and owner of Wynns Family Psychology. Jessica says both of her social media accounts are private. “I don’t like the idea of just anyone seeing my kids’ pictures,” she says. “Both accounts are private and require my approval to see my pictures or tag me.” Raleigh mom Rachel* and her husband made the decision to limit Facebook posts about their daughter (now 17 months old) before she was born. “We personally have only posted a few and we do not allow anyone else to post any pictures of her,” Rachel says. “We don’t feel comfortable over-exposing our daughter to strangers on a public website. We are protective of our child and her safety is our priority. We are more private people and, in general, we do not post much on Facebook.”
entertainment value versus longer-term consequences on how the child may feel about it (the post).” Wynns says.
2. Your kids may react negatively to your posts. Consider the effects your posts may have on your children in the future. Will your son really appreciate that post of him at age 2 in the bathtub
3. Family and friends may have different reactions to your social media decisions. Rachel’s decision to limit posts was not received well by all. “Most friends and family members were very understanding of our request that they never post pictures of our daughter on Facebook (or any website),” she says. “However, we did receive a little pushback from a few family members. This was surprising and rubbed us the wrong way because we feel as though parenting choices need to be respected, not questioned.” To keep family and friends abreast of big moments, Rachel says she and her husband prefer texts and emails. Regardless of what communication method you choose to send your family and friends updates, it’s best to be explicit with them about the policies you have set regarding your child’s digital presence so they will respect your decision, whatever it may be. Kathryn Caprino is a freelance writer based in Gainesville, Florida.
*Only first names have been used in some cases to protect identity.
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Join us for an
Admissions Event and discover why...
Pre-K and Kindergarten Group Tours Wednesday, November 4 Wednesday, December 2
Lower School (1-4) Group Tours Wednesday, October 28
Why St. DaviD’S?
Middle & Upper School (5-12) Group Tours Wednesday, October 21 Wednesday, November 18
All Grade Levels (PK-12) Group Tours Wednesday, January 20 Wednesday, February 10 Wednesday, March 16 Wednesday, April 6 All tours begin at 9:30 AM
www.sdsw.org • 919-782-3331 St. David’s is an independent school in the Episcopal school tradition that prepares young men and women for college and life by challenging them to excel in the vital areas of faith, virtue, and knowledge.
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5 F
FUN GAMES to Play at the Dinner Table
4
BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES
inally carved out a night for your family to sit down and eat a meal together? Now that you’re all present, make meal time playful and fun with games sure to spark
conversation between you and your children and strengthen your relationship. “We no longer plant vegetables or quilt on the front porch together, so mealtime is one of the few times of the day when a family connects with one another,” says Dr. Anne Fishel, author of “Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun and Conversation for a Happier Family and Healthier Kids.” Eating dinner together also provides parents with a valuable opportunity to model basic faceto-face social skills and etiquette. These skills are increasingly important to develop in an era when much of our children’s communication is conducted through technology. And speaking of technology, designate mealtime as tech-free to ensure that your family’s full attention is on each other. “If family members are distracted by checking their phones and other screens, they miss out on the chance to really focus on each other, and convey that essential message: ‘you come first,’ ” Fishel says. Need help getting the conversation going and lightening up the dinnertime hour? Try a few of these games that your kids, from preschoolers to teens, are sure to embrace.
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High low. Adrienne Dreher, a mom of two boys ages 8 and 5, says she and her boys discuss the ups and downs of the day to get conversation rolling. “What was the best thing that happened to you today? What was the hardest?”
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Two truths and a false. Not only does this game appeal to my children’s creativity and imaginations, I can usually learn something new about their day that they forgot to tell me. To play, go around the table and take turns sharing two events that really happened that day and one that did not. Who can guess which one is false?
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Draw forth a discussion. Christie Zemencik, a mom of three who are ages 20, 16 and 9, says she covers the table with butcher paper and puts crayons out. “My girls draw or write random things that usually lead to conversations as to why that was on their minds,” she says.
Conversation in a jar. Karen Conklin, mom of three kids ages 10, 8 and 4, created a jar with dinnertime conversation starters on strips of paper. “An example is ‘Name two people (who) made you smile today and why,’ ” she says. Her children enjoy adding conversation ideas to the jar, too.
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Table topics. Julie Melchior, mom of three kids ages 16, 13 and 10, says she bought a pack of Christmas-themed conversation questions one year. Each night the family selected a card to discuss. “The kids couldn’t wait to sit down and get the cards passed out,” Melchior says. “It was so interesting for my husband and me to listen to their answers and hear what they remembered from their past holidays. It gave everyone an opportunity to share and listen, and we
talked about things that probably wouldn’t come up in normal dinner time conversation.” Find “Kid Talk: Conversation Cards," "Crunch a Color Conversation Starters," "Chat Packs" or "Table Topics” at retailers, book stores or online. For more ideas, check out The Family Dinner Project at thefamilydinnerproject.org. Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines loves to find new ways to “chat and chew” with her family, which includes her husband and their two school-aged sons. Go to christamelnykhines.com for more information.
Not sure how to get the family together for a meal? •Try breakfast, lunch or snack time together if dinner won’t work. •Start a tradition. Make Friday night taco night or Sunday spaghetti night. •Involve the entire family in meal planning, which will also help kids learn to plan and prepare meals. •Depending on your child’s age, put him in charge of preparing dinner once a week.
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EXCURSION
Take a Ride on the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad By Aleigh Acerni
E
very week, the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad fires up its restored engines to carry visitors down two scenic stretches of track — through the leafy Nantahala Gorge or along the Tuckasegee River — and back to the depot in Bryson City. Although trains run year round, perhaps the best time for a ride on the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad is in mid-fall, when the leaves are at their autumnal peak. Ride the Rails Great Smoky Mountains Railroad riders have two options: the Nantahala Gorge Excursion, a 4.5-hour trip along the Nantahala River, with a pit stop at the Nantahala Outdoor Center; or the Tuckasegee River Excursion, a 4-hour ride through the countryside with a stop in historic Dillsboro. Trains leave from Bryson City, located about 65 miles west of Asheville. During peak leaf-peeping season, and for the railroad’s special events, it’s best to book your tickets in advance, as seats frequently sell out. Enjoy the Layovers The Nantahala excursion stops at the Nantahala Outdoor Center, where two riverside restaurants serve up standard fare like barbecue and burgers. There’s not much time for exploring during your break, but there is time to sit by the water and watch rafters and kayakers go by, or stay on the train and watch as the engine is pulled to the other end of the train for the return trip. If you hustle (and plan ahead), you could take a turn on the high ropes course or fly down the zip line. (Note: The Great Smoky Mountains Railroad does offer a package that includes a train ride to the Nantahala Outdoor Center, a whitewater rafting trip, and a return ride to
Bryson City.) There are many lunch options in historic Dillsboro, where the train stops during the Tuckasegee excursion. Don’t miss Haywood Smokehouse, where brisket and pork butt is smoked in hickory-fired pits and arrives sans sauce. Shoppers will appreciate the town’s local artisans, who make everything from pottery and quilts to glassworks and jewelry featuring locally sourced gemstones.
Photo courtesy of Great Smoky Mountains Railroad
Explore Bryson City Bryson City is a quaint town surrounded by mountains, and it’s worth exploring before or after your train ride. Parents seeking a caffeine fix can order coffee or an espresso at Cork and Bean, a bistro inside a former bank that also offers wine, North Carolina beers, and a broad selection of crepes. Directly across from the depot sits Nantahala Brewing, which has lots of space and lawn games for the kiddos, frequent live music and a selection of award-winning beers. The brewery doesn’t serve food but lets you bring whatever you’d like — or you can BYOB (bring your own burgers, that is) and grill out on the deck. Check out several shops offering local crafts, antiques and gifts for sale, including the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad museum and gift shop, which includes a fullservice coffee bar and house-made fudge.
Aleigh Acerni is a Charlotte-based freelance writer who enjoys riding the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad with her toddler daughter.
The Polar Express Each holiday season, The Great Smoky Mountains Railroad offers The Polar Express. The excursion includes a 1-hour-and-15minute ride to the North Pole on a festively decorated train. Sip hot cocoa and enjoy a sweet treat while you ride and listen to the magical story. Santa Claus waits at the end of the line to greet each child and give him or her a silver sleigh bell. On the return trip to the Bryson City Depot, sing along to Christmas carols. The 2015 Polar Express rides run Nov. 13-Jan. 3. Tickets start at $28 and frequently sell out, so don’t wait to plan your trip!
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November our picks
Photo courtesy of VeggieTales Live!
The Rise Above Tour Girls ages 12-17 can take a stand against bullying when The Rise Above Tour stops at North Carolina State University’s McKimmon Center in Raleigh on Nov. 22, noon-5 p.m. The event features keynote speaker and author Veenu Keller, a book signing with teen mentor and TV host Lauren Galley, photo opportunities with Miss North Carolina Outstanding Teen 2015 Kenzie Hansley, and activities to help young women become educated and empowered about bullying. Admission is free. Register online for the event and to win prizes at theriseabovetour.com.
VeggieTales Live: “Little Kids Do Big Things” Join Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber and their Veggie friends at Raleigh Memorial Auditorium Nov. 13 at 6 p.m. in a musical that celebrates the wonderful things that little kids can do. It features live performances of “The Hairbrush Song” and “I Love My Lips,” as well as songs that inspire, like “Big Things Too,” to teach about values like telling the truth, sharing and forgiveness. Purchase tickets for $23-$75 at ticketmaster.com.
Triangle Truck Day Bright Horizons’ annual Triangle Truck Day is Nov. 14, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Kids can explore a variety of trucks and vehicles, and enjoy fun games, activities, live music and food trucks. Admission is a suggested donation of $5 per child. Donate online at brighthorizons.com/triangletruckday. Proceeds benefit the Bright Horizons Foundation for Children, a nonprofit focused on brightening the lives for children and families in crisis. Bright Horizons is located at 800 Weston Pkwy., Cary.
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Photo courtesy of Brooke Meyer Photography
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1 SUNDAY
Eco-Explorers: Geology. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 2-4 p.m. $12/ resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children make treasured memories while increasing their knowledge of plants and animals. Ages 7-10. Registration required. townofcary.org. Take a Hike: Fall Colors. American Tobacco Trail, 1309 New HillOlive Chapel Rd., Apex. 3:30-5 p.m. FREE. 919-387-4342. Take in the colors of fall and discover other seasonal changes in nature. Meet at the White Oak Parking Area. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/att.
2 MONDAY
Curious Creatures: Deer. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Discover wildlife, their habits and their habitats through hikes, activities and crafts. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org. Tiny Tots: Leaves in Nature. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. 919-662-2850. Practice color and shape recognition through hands-on centers. Collect leaves that have fallen in the park. Ages 18 mos.-3 yrs. with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Tiny Trekkers: Trees. Little River Regional Park and Natural Area, 301 Little River Park Way, Rougemont. 10-11 a.m. FREE. 919-732-5505. Discover trees through stories and crafts. Ages 2-4 with adult. Registration required.
3 TUESDAY
Nature Families: Turkey Tales. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. $5/family. 919662-2850. Enjoy turkey tales, stories and songs. Learn how to ruffle your feathers and practice your best call. Go
on a turkey trot. All ages. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Tweens, Teens and Screens Parenting Workshop. Wynns Family Psychology, 130 Preston Executive Dr., Ste. 202, Cary. 6-7:15 p.m. $25/person or $40/couple. 919-467-7777. Take part in a workshop about the best practices regarding teen screen time. Learn how to tell if a child is addicted to gaming, the types of influences screens have on a child’s behavior and personality, reasonable limits to screen time and more. Registration required. wynnsfamilypsychology.com.
4 WEDNESDAY
Nature Friends: Talkin’ Turkeys. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. $4/child. 919-6622850. Play games to learn about the lives of wild turkeys, their habitat and what they like to eat. Snack on a turkey treat. Ages 6-9. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Nature Watchers: Gobble Gobble. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 1-2 p.m. $4/child. 919-662-2850. Learn facts about turkeys, read a story and make a craft. Ages 3-5. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
5 THURSDAY
Teaching Young Children How to Regulate their Own Behavior. Project Enlightenment, 501 S. Boylan Ave., Raleigh. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $20/ person, $30/couple. 919-856-7774. Parents learn ways to interact with kids ages 3-6 that teach self-control and support development of self-regulation. Registration required by Nov. 1. projectenlightenment.wcpss.net.
6 FRIDAY
Nature Nuts: Owls. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $10/resident, $13/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Go nutty for nature as
children learn about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org.
7 SATURDAY
Battle of the Blues 5K. American Tobacco Trail, Herndon Park, 511 Scott King Rd., Durham. 9-11 a.m. $33/ person. 919-668-0944. Take part in a 5K to support the families of NICU babies at Duke and UNC hospitals. After the race, enjoy food trucks and activities. raceit.com/search3/event. aspx?id=34827. Deer Tracking. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408 Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 2-4 p.m. $3/child. 919-996-6764. Track deer and find their hiding places. Ages 5-8. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Disc Golf Family Event. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. FREE. 919-387-4342. Learn the basics of disc golf. Register online for an introductory lesson from 9-10:30 a.m. or an advanced skills session at 10:30 a.m. Take a disc or borrow one from the park. All ages. Meet at the Disc Golf Parking Lot. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake. Durham Public Schools Magnet Fair. Southern School of Energy and Sustainability, 800 Clayton Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. FREE. Learn about magnet and CTE Pathway options and hear from representatives from 23 magnet schools. magnet.dpsnc.net. Natural Explorations: Fall Foliage Hike. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. 919-856-6675. Take a guided hike and discover what natural colors tell about the environment. All ages. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Nature Nuts: Owls. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $10/ resident, $13/nonresident. 919-3875980. Children learn about the world around them and parents share in the
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joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. One Tribe Fest. N.C. State Fairgrounds, Holshouser Bldg., 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 9:45 a.m.-7 p.m. $5/ person. Free for ages 12 and younger. Enjoy local artisans and businesses, healing arts, crafters, natural and sustainable products, holistic healers, live music and food. Kids can take part in an interactive corner with outdoor activities in nature. onetribefestnc.com. Scarecrow Contest. Downtown Fuquay-Varina. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Downtown merchants compete in a scarecrow contest to benefit the Fuquay-Varina Emergency Food Pantry. Vote for a favorite scarecrow by placing a quarter in the scarecrow’s donation jar. Winner receives the People’s Choice award. fuquay-varinadowntown.com. Teen Workshop: Printmaking in Escher’s World. N.C. Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 1-4 p.m. $15/member, $20/nonmember. Explore the convergence of math and visual art in the Escher exhibition. Under the guidance of local artist Derek Toomes, experiment with printmaking and create your own works of art. Register by Nov. 3. ncartmuseum.org. Thankful for Fathers: Father Daughter Dance. DanceArt Studio, 82 DanceArt Dr., Garner. 5:30-7:30 p.m. $35/couple. Dads and their daughters enjoy a deejay, dancing, a memory keepsake and more. All ages. Registration required. danceartinc.com. Tales and Trails: Stories Around the Campfire. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 4:30-6 p.m. $10/resident, $13/ nonresident. 919-387-5980. Go nutty for nature as children satisfy some of their curiosity about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. WCPSS Magnet and Early College Schools Fair. Southeast Raleigh Magnet High School, 2600 Rock Quarry
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Courtesy of Rob Orazi
On Stage “First Things First: Composers in Their Twenties Forge Their Own Paths” Nov. 1 – Raleigh Civic Chamber Orchestra presents Debussy’s “Petite Suite,” MichaelThomas Foumai’s “Music In The High Castle” and Beethoven’s “Symphony No. 1.” $10/ adult, $5/student. Free for ages 11 and younger. Purchase tickets online. 4-5:30 p.m. Stewart Theatre, 2610 Cates Ave., Raleigh. 919-696-2067. raleighcivicsymphony.org.
“The Glass Menagerie” Nov. 6-15 – Bartlett Theater delivers a compelling production of Tennessee Williams’ masterpiece. PSI Theater, 120 Morris St., Durham. $25/adult, $15/student. See website to purchase tickets. 919-8082203. barletttheater.org.
“A Year with Frog and Toad” Nov. 6-22 – Follow the adventures of worrywart toad and a perky frog as they plant gardens, swim, rake leaves and learn life lessons along the way. $17/adult, $11 ages 12 and younger. Purchase tickets online. Raleigh Little Theatre, 301 Pogue St., Raleigh. raleighlittletheatre.org.
“Fall Performance Showcase” Nov. 7 – Expressions in Rhythm Studio performs African dance, ballet, contemporary dance, creative movement,
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Djembe drumming, hip-hop, jazz and more for the whole family. $7.50. 5-6 p.m. Meymandi Theatre at the Murphey School, 224 Polk St., Raleigh. 919-615-3088. eirstudio.com.
“Storybook Dances” Nov. 7 – Infinity Ballet Theatre students perform dances based on storybooks. $6/ person. 2 p.m., 4 p.m. Purchase tickets online. Halle Cultural Arts Center, 237 N. Salem St., Apex. etix.com/ticket/p/7008235/ infinity-ballet-theaters-princess-storybookdancesperformance-apex-halle-culturalarts-center.
Marvelous Music Family Series: “Kid Power's Operation Lunch Line 3D” Nov. 7 – Join Kid Power on an amazing journey inside the human body in this interactive musical designed to help children in grades K-6 learn the value of good nutrition and exercise. Using visual effects in 3D, the journey begins inside the body of Max, a young boy doesn't eat well or exercise properly. $8/person. Purchase tickets online. 3-4:30 p.m. Cary Arts Center, 101 Dry Ave., Cary. 919-462-2055. etix.com.
“The Wild Kratts LIVE!” Nov. 8 – See the animated Kratt Brothers confront a comic villain. Through hilarious
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pratfalls and amazing animal facts, Martin and Chris rescue a favorite invention from the villain’s clutches so the animals of the world can be safe again. $33-$45. Purchase tickets online. 1 p.m., 4:30 p.m. Durham Performing Arts Center, 123 Vivian St., Durham. ticketmaster.com.
"The Music Man" Nov. 12-15 – This production heralds William Peace University's first staging of a golden age musical. The cast is made up of the school's theater students and local children. $5/teens, $10/seniors and alumni, and $15/ adults. Check website for show times. Kenan Auditorium, William Peace University, 15 E. Peace Street, Raleigh. peace.edu/event/359william-peace-theatre-the-music-man.
VeggieTales Live: “Little Kids Do Big Things Tour” Nov. 13 – See page 30 for details.
“Peter and The Starcatcher” Nov. 18-Dec. 12 – This holiday treat features an apprentice starcatcher and an orphan boy who take to the high seas in a story of “The Boy Who Never Grew Up.” $15 and up. Purchase tickets online. See website for show times. Paul Green Theatre, 150 Country Club Rd., Chapel Hill. playmakersrep.org/ peterandthestarcatcher.
Carolina Youth Ballet Presents “The Nutcracker” Nov. 21 – Student dancers perform the holiday ballet featuring a magical Christmas tree, dueling soldiers and mice, falling snow and Clara’s enchanting trip to the Kingdom of the Sweets. All ages. $12-$27. Purchase tickets online. Noon, 5 p.m. Fletcher Theater, Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, 2 E. South St., Raleigh. triangle-academydance.tix.com.
QDR Country for Kids Concert Nov 21 –Jason Michael Carroll, Mickey Guyton, Maddie and Tae, and Big and Rich perform in a benefit concert. $25 and up. Purchase tickets online. 7 p.m. Durham Performing Arts Center, 123 Vivian St., Durham. ticketmaster.com
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical” Nov. 27-Dec. 30 – Celebrate Rudolph’s 50 years on television and see favorite characters from the Christmas special, including Santa and Mrs. Claus, Hermey the Elf, Bumble the Abominable Snow Monster, Clarice, Yukon Cornelius, the Misfit Toys and Rudolph as they come to life in an all-new musical. See website for show times. $22$54. Fletcher Theater, Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, 2 E. South St., Raleigh. ticketmaster.com.
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Rd., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-noon. FREE. Learn about magnet school options in the Wake County Public School System. wcpss.net/magnet.
8 SUNDAY
Junior Naturalist: Backyard Bird Basics. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-3 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. Preschool/PMO Information Fair. Durham Main Library, 300 N. Roxboro St., Durham. 3-5 p.m. FREE. 919-806-7502. The Durham Mothers Club hosts a preschool fair featuring representatives from more than 20 Durham-area programs. durham-mothers-club.org.
9 MONDAY
Nature Tots: Rambunctious Raccoons. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 10:30-11 a.m. for ages 1-3 with adult; 1-2 p.m. for ages 3-5 with adult. $2$4/child. 919-387-4342. Read a story and learn about raccoons. Meet at the Cypress Shelter. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake.
10 TUESDAY
Parent Information Session: Social Tips for Gifted Children. Wake Academy, 107 Quade Dr., Cary. 7-8:15 p.m. FREE. 919-467-7777. Dr. Kristen Wynns teaches tips and strategies for helping a child in social situations. Learn about bullying, fostering or maintaining friendships, communication and more. Register online. wakeacademyes.org/events.
11 WEDNESDAY
S’mores and NAEYC. Legacy Academy of Chapel Hill, 515 E. Winmore Ave., Chapel Hill. 5:30-7 p.m. FREE. Enjoy s’mores to celebrate the school’s accreditation by the National Association of Young Children. lachapelhill.com.
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Veterans Day. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. 919-856-6675. Learn about this holiday and make firework cards to send to veterans. All ages. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.
12 THURSDAY
Chelsea Clinton Visits. Quail Ridge Books, 3522 Wade Ave., Raleigh. 6 p.m. FREE. Chelsea Clinton, daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, signs her new book, “It’s Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired, Get Going.” Receive a ticket to the signing line with an online Quail Ridge Books purchase of the book. Each ticket admits a family of four. Ages 10 and older. quailridgebooks.com/event/ chelsea-clinton-its-your-world-signingonly-ticketed. Wake County Fall Education Fair. Temple Baptist Church and Dayschool, 1417 Clifton St., Raleigh. 9:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. FREE. Wake County public and private schools provide information about their programs and curricula. oakcityacademy.org/wake-county-falleducation-fair. Wee Walkers: Prickly or Tickly. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children delight in discoveries of shapes, colors and textures in nature. Ages 1 and older with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org.
13 FRIDAY
Astronomy Nights. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408 Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 5:30-7:30 p.m. $2/person. 919-996-6764. Enjoy an indoor presentation before going out to view the moon, stars and more using the preserve’s telescope. Ages 5 and older. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Crowder by Night: Seasonal Scavenger Hunt. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 5-6 p.m. $5/family. 919-662-2850. Search for clues focused on nature and nighttime critters. Sip on hot apple cider and make a fall craft. All ages. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
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Durham Mocha Moms Support Group. Grey Stone Church, 2601 Hillsborough Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.noon. FREE. Take part in a support group for mothers of color and mothers raising children of color. Children welcome. durhammochamoms.wix. com/durham-mocha-moms. Fall Arts Fair. Sertoma Arts Center, 400 W. Millbrook Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Potters, jewelers, painters and others showcase their work. Enjoy live music, demonstrations and food trucks. raleighnc.gov/parks/content/arts/ articles/sertomaartscenter.html. Marissa Meyer Visits. Quail Ridge Books, 3522 Wade Ave., Raleigh. 7 p.m. FREE. The New York Times bestselling author of “The Lunar Chronicles” delivers the epic conclusion in her newest book. Wear a costume and enjoy refreshments. Receive a ticket to the signing line with an online Quail Ridge Books purchase of “Winter.” Ages 12 and older. quailridgebooks.com. Pilgrims at Play. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10-11:30 a.m., 2-3:30 p.m. FREE. 919-856-6675. Play 17th-century games, learn to talk like a pilgrim and create a Thanksgiving food collage to take home. Ages 7 and older. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.
14 SATURDAY
Connect and Create: Hidden Meanings. Artspace, 201 E. Davie St., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon. $10/member, $15/nonmember. 919-821-2787. Enjoy a peaceful exploration of simple shapes and colors with Linda Ruth Dickinson, who will discuss the hidden meaning behind her luminous works and share ideas to help students create their own designs. All ages. artspacenc.org. Curiosity Club: Wildlife Detectives. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.noon. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org.
Family Rhythm Jam. Music Explorium, 5314 Hwy. 55, Ste. 107, Durham. 10-11 a.m. $10/family. 919-219-2371. Drumming and stories for ages 3 and older with parent. Drums to loan. musicexplorium.com. Kids’ Art Activity. Southern Home Crafts, 111 N. Salem St., Apex. 4-6 p.m. FREE. 919-233-1598. Kids ages 4 and older enjoy a free art activity and twisted balloons. Saving Grace Walk Against Animal Abuse. Lake Lynn Community Center, 5600 Harrington Grove Dr., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon. $25/child, $35/adult. Take part in a 2.5-mile walk around Lake Lynn to benefit Saving Grace Animals for Adoption. Register online. savinggracewalk.com. SoDu Parents Posse Annual Giving Thanks Campaign: Giving Blood and Giving Love. Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 4907 Garrett Rd., Durham. Noon-4:30 p.m. FREE. 919-672-3381. Take part in a family-friendly blood drive that offers free child care for donors, a kids’ stuffed animal donation drive and letterwriting to children in hospitals. Enjoy face painting, free food and door prizes. Each participant receives a goody bag. soduparentsposse.com. Special Family Tour: "The Worlds of M.C. Escher." N.C. Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. $18/adult, $12 ages 7-12. Free for ages 6 and younger. Families enjoy a 30-minute tour of the Dutch artist’s exhibit that features woodcuts, lithographs, wood engravings, drawings and more. Free with exhibit admission. Purchase tickets online for 1:30 and 2:30 p.m. tours. ncartmuseum.org/exhibitions/ view/11364. Twilight Walk. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408 Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 4-6 p.m. $2/person. 919-9966764. Families take a walk with a park naturalist to look for deer, coyotes and owls. Register online. reclink.raleighnc. gov. Wagon Ride to the Longleaf Forest for Bird Watching. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr.,
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2015-16
UNDERSTANDING
A P U B L I C AT I O N O F
Autism Spectrum Disorder
Resources for SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILIES
Redshirt or Enroll?
Determining what’s best for your future kindergartner
Virtual Charter Schools
2 new options for NC students
Read to ACHIEVE A look at the program’s first year
539
EDUCATION RESOURCES FOR TRIANGLE FAMILIES
Visit CarolinaParent.com for digital editions, exclusive online content, local events, directories, parenting blogs, crafts, contests and more!
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carolinaparent.com | NOVEMBER 2015
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509 resources to help families of children with special needs thrive. a publication of
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When We Kne
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Resources SPECIAL NEEfor DS FAMILIES
SHOP CARR MILL SHOP, DINE & MEET Ali Cat Anna’s Tailor & Alterations B-Side Lounge The Bead Store Cafe Symmetry Carolina Core Pilates Carrboro Pizza Oven Carrboro Yoga Co.
Chatelaine’s Jewelry CHICLE Language Institute Classic Fashions CVS Elmo’s Diner Harris Teeter Head Over Heels La Boutique Lane Mulberry Silks
Oasis Coffee Shop Organic Sun Skin Spa Sofia’s Boutique Sofia’s Shoetique Townsend, Bertram & Co. Venable Rotisserie Bistro Weaver Street Market & Cafe Yellow Chair Market
CarrMillMall.com 200 N. Greensboro St. In the heart of Carrboro
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HOLIDAY CRAFT FAIRS Craft fairs are the perfect source for holiday gift-giving. Visit carolinaparent.com and search for “holiday fairs” to find more crafting events in the Triangle. Craft fairs are free unless otherwise noted.
A SHOPPING SPREE! PRESENTED BY THE JUNIOR LEAGUE OF RALEIGH
TPPK HOLIDAY BAZAAR AND CRAFT FAIR
2200 Wakefield Pines Dr., Raleigh. wakefieldhsptsa.org.
CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SHOPPE AT ST. THOMAS MORE SCHOOL
Oct. 28-Nov. 1. See website for hours and to purchase advance tickets, $10. Raleigh Convention Center, 500 S. Salisbury St., Raleigh. ashoppingspree.org.
Nov. 7, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Triangle Presbyterian Preschool and Kindergarten, 5001 Tudor Place, Durham. 919-544-2872. tppk.org.
CRAFTACULAR CRAFT AND VENDOR FAIR
Dec. 5, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Friends and Family Hall at St. Thomas More Church, 940 Carmichael St., Chapel Hill. stmcsnc.org.
VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS HOLIDAY ART AND GIFT SHOW Nov. 5-6, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; Nov. 7, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Quail Hollow Swim Club, 800 Orleans Place, Raleigh. visionsofsugarplumsraleigh.com.
CAROLINA DESIGNER CRAFTSMEN CRAFTS SHOW AND MARKETPLACE Nov. 6, 5-10 p.m.; Nov. 7, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Nov. 8, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $7. Free for ages 14 and younger. N.C. State Fairgrounds Exposition Center, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. carolinadesignercraftsmen.com.
KNIGHTDALE HOLIDAY FAIR Nov. 7, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Knightdale Recreation Center, 102 Lawson Ridge Rd., Knightdale. 919-217-2232. knightdalenc.gov (search for “holiday fair”).
WHITE STREET HOLIDAY MARKET Nov. 7, 10 a.m.-7 p.m. The Cotton Company, 306 S. White St., Downtown Wake Forest. 919-570-0087. thecottoncompany.net.
HOLIDAY VENDOR FAIR AND BAKE SALE Nov. 11, 5-8 p.m.; Nov. 12-13, 9:30 a.m.1:30 p.m. Salem Baptist Preschool Gym, 1821 N. Salem St., Apex. www.salem-bc.org/preschool.
WINTERWOODS HOLIDAY SHOPPE Nov. 13, 5-9 p.m.; Nov. 14, 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Woods Charter School, 160 Woodland Grove Ln., Chapel Hill. woodscharter.org.
ARTS AND CRAFTS FESTIVAL
REINDEER DAYS SHOPPING EVENT
Nov. 14, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 221 Union St., Cary. stpaulscary.org/festival.
Nov. 7, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Admission is $2 or donate a nonperishable food item; Rolesville High School, 1099 E. Young St., Rolesville. rolesvillehsptsa.com/reindeer-day.html.
Nov. 14, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Genesis UMC, 850 High House Rd., Cary. genesis-umc.org.
ST. ANDREW THE APOSTLE HOLIDAY CRAFT FAIR Nov. 7, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. St. Andrew’s Catholic Church, 3008 Old Raleigh Rd., Apex. saintandrew.org.
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SPREE
Nov. 21, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Southwest Elementary School, 2320 Cook Rd., Durham. swepta.weebly.com/craft-fair.html.
DURHAM ART WALK HOLIDAY MARKET Nov. 21, 10 a.m.– 5 p.m.; Nov. 22, 1-5 p.m. Start the tour at the Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris St., Durham. durhamarts.org.
CHRISTMAS CAROUSEL HOLIDAY FESTIVAL Nov. 27, 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; Nov. 28, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Nov. 29, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $8 adults, $4 ages 6-12. Free for ages 5 and younger. Jim Graham Building, N.C. State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. christmascarousel.com.
CARY ACADEMY HOLIDAY SHOPPE Dec. 3, 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.; Dec. 4, 10 a.m.5 p.m. and 6:30-9 p.m.; Dec. 5, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Cary Academy, 1500 North Harrison Ave., Cary. 919-228-4653. www.caryacademy.org (search for “Holiday Shoppe”).
MISTLETOE MARKET HOLIDAY FAIR
ST. NICHOLAS CHRISTMAS MARKET
Nov. 14, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Admission is $5. Receive $1 off admission with canned/ nonperishable food donation. Free for ages 11 and younger. Wakefield High School,
Dec. 4, 7-9 p.m.; Dec. 5, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Saints Cyril and Methodius Parish, 2510 Piney Plains Rd., Cary. 919-851-9266. facebook.com/saintnicholasmarket.
ELF HOLIDAY CRAFT FAIR Dec. 5, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. The ArtsCenter, 300-G E. Main St., Carrboro. 919-929-2787. artscenterlive.org.
SCANDINAVIAN CHRISTMAS FAIR Dec. 5, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $7. Free for ages 12 and younger. Holshouser Building, N.C. State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. scanfair.org.
BOYLAN HEIGHTS ARTWALK Dec. 6, noon-5 p.m. Boylan Heights, downtown Raleigh. artwalk.boylanheights.org.
HOLLY DAYS EXTRAVAGANZA Dec. 6, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Dec. 7, 11 a.m.4 p.m. Admission is $2. Sanderson High School, 5500 Dixon Dr., Raleigh. sandersonhs.org/holly_days/hollydays.html.
LAST-MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING EVENT Dec. 19, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Kerr Scott Building, N.C. State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. islandgirlcraftandvendorevent.com/ last-minute-christmas-shopping-vendorsraleigh.html.
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Swift Creek Shopping Center
November 2015 |
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2865 Jones Franklin Rd., Raleigh/Cary
919-852-0550
› New Hill. 9-11 a.m. FREE. 919-387-4342. Enjoy a wagon ride to go bird watching in the forest. Take binoculars. Ages 8 and older. Meet at the wagon in front of the playground. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake.
15 SUNDAY
Family Feature: Giving Thanks. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 2-3 p.m. $5/family. 919-662-2850. Learn about Thanksgiving foods. Investigate corn under microscopes and hand lenses, learn the difference between fruits and veggies and make a Thanksgiving craft. All ages. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Family Programs: Nature Fun at Bond Park. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 4-5:30 p.m. $16/resident, $20/ nonresident. 919-387-5980. Explore parts of Bond Park. Meet in front of the Bond Park Community Center. Registration required. townofcary.org. Special Family Tour: The Worlds of M.C. Escher. See Nov. 14.
16 MONDAY
Raising Resilient Children Project Enlightenment, 501 S. Boylan Ave., Raleigh. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $20/person, $30/couple. 919-856-7774. Learn ways to help children ages birth-5 yrs. deal with stress and improve their emotional skills. Registration required by Nov. 9. projectenlightenment.wcpss.net. Sleep: Why It is Important and How to Get Your Child More of It. Durham Main Library Auditorium, 300 N. Roxboro Street, Durham. 7-8 p.m. FREE. 919-408-8404. Parents learn about the importance of sleep and tips for how to get more of it for your child in a discussion presented by Dr. Sanjay Kansagra, director of the Pediatric Neurology Sleep Medicine Program at Duke University. camelotacademy.org.
17 TUESDAY
Home School Day: Bread, A Slice of Science. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh.
1-2:30 p.m. $6/child. 919-856-6675. Learn what makes bread rise, explore bread from around the world and make a personal pizza from scratch. Ages 7 and older. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Kids Fun-Days: Where the Wild Things Roam. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.-noon. $12/ resident, $16/nonresident. 919-3875980. Kids hike, make projects and engage in nature activities. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org.
18 WEDNESDAY
Wee Walkers: Prickly or Tickly. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children delight in discoveries of shapes, colors and textures in nature. Ages 1 and older with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org.
19 THURSDAY
Pop-In Playtime Club. Pump It Up of Raleigh, 10700 World Trade Blvd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. $8/child, $6/sibling. 919-828-3344. Drop-in inflatable play. Wear socks. Free for adults. pumpitupparty.com/raleigh-nc.
20 FRIDAY
Bird Buddies. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408 Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 12:452:15 p.m. $2/person. 919-996-6764. Make paper-tube binoculars and take a walk to look for bird buddies in the forest and field. Ages 3-5. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Little Historians: The First Thanksgiving. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. $4/child. 919-856-6675. Read a story about the first Thanksgiving and enjoy crafts and games. Find out how the turkey almost became a national symbol. Ages 5-7. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Nature Nuts: Leaves. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m.
$10/resident, $13/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Go nutty for nature as children satisfy some of their curiosity about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. Night Out in Nature. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 6-9 p.m. 919-387-5980. Kids spend a night out in nature making memories and new friends in an old-fashioned, campstyle program. Ages 8-12. Registration required. townofcary.org.
21 SATURDAY
American Indian Heritage Celebration. N.C. Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. FREE. Celebrate the state’s American Indian culture with musicians, dancers, craftspeople and storytellers from eight state-recognized tribes. ncmuseumofhistory.org/ AIHC_2015. Art 4 Everyone. Broughton High School, 723 St. Mary’s Street, Raleigh. 9 a.m.-noon. FREE. Ages 8-15 enjoy mini-classes in music, dance, acting, poetry and more taught by local artists. Register online or email caryakavp@ hotmail.com. sigmatauomega-aka.com Bird Buddies. See Nov. 20. 10:30 a.m.-noon. Discovery Club: Map and Compass. Little River Regional Park and Natural Area, 301 Little River Park Way, Rougemont. 2-3:30 p.m. FREE. 919-732-5505. Learn the basics of reading a map and compass. Search around the park for hidden treasure using clues and your new skills. Ages 5 and older. Registration required. Family Fun Saturday: Optical Illusions. N.C. Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. $5/ member, $8/nonmember. Families with children ages 5-11 enjoy a gallery tour and studio workshops. 10-11 a.m., 1-3 p.m. Purchase tickets online. ncartmuseum.org. Junior Naturalist: Salamander Searchers. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm
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Rd., Cary. 1-2 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. Nature Nuts: Leaves. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $10/resident, $13/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Go nutty for nature as children satisfy some of their curiosity about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. Santa’s Open House. Woodplay Playsets of the Carolinas, 9521 Lumley Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. 919-781-6556. Take free photos with Mr. and Mrs. Claus; enjoy face painting and balloons. woodplaync.com.
22 SUNDAY
Young Ecologists: Things That Go Bump in the Dark. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 4-6 p.m. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Ages 10-13 learn about nature. Registration required. townofcary.org.
23 MONDAY
Curious Creatures: Owls and Hawks. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 1-3 p.m. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Discover wildlife, their habits and their habitats through hikes, activities and crafts. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org.
24 TUESDAY
“Extreme Mammals.” N.C. Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. Noon- 4 p.m. $15/adult, $10 ages 3-12. 919-707-9800. Tour an exhibit that explores the diversity of mammals, examining the ancestry and evolution of the biggest, smallest and most amazing mammals that have walked the Earth. Purchase tickets online. naturalsciences.org. Pop-In Playtime Club. See Nov. 19.
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25 WEDNESDAY
Wrap it Up!
Eco-Express: Swamp Things. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 1-3 p.m. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Take the fast track to nature in this hands-on study of ecology. Ages 8-12. Registration required. townofcary.org. Kids Fun-Days: Fantastic Fossils. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.-noon. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-3875980. Kids hike, make projects and engage in nature activities. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org. Talkin’ Turkey at the ATT. American Tobacco Trail, 1309 New Hill-Olive Chapel Rd., Apex. 2-3 p.m. $5/ family. 919-387-4342. See a turkey mount up close and strut like a turkey to see how much food you can eat before winter. All ages. Meet at the New Hill parking area. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/att.
We have gift wrap, gift bags, boxes, ribbons, bows, tags, seals & stickers in a wide variety of colors & styles.
Party & Gift Items Toys & Learning Products NOT T JUST
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Holiday Wagon Ride. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. $5/family. 919-387-4342. Bundle up and take the family for a wagon ride along the back roads of the park. Departure times are 1 or 2 p.m. Meet at the wagon in front of the playground. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake.
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29 SUNDAY
“Extreme Mammals.” See Nov. 24.
30 MONDAY
“Extreme Mammals.” See Nov. 24. Pop-In Playtime Club. See Nov. 19.
CALENDAR POLICY
The Carolina Parent calendar lists local and regional activities for children and families. To submit an event for consideration, visit carolinaparent.com by the 8th of the month for the next month's issue. Readers, please call ahead to confirm dates and times. This calendar may include some events not intended for young children.
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