FIG. 17

Final report - project MOVE 2017-2018

you are in this or not (socially inconvenient), how you influence your selection (information that you pick out) and interpretation and how you use that information to make decisions. This happens separated from your IQ. Still it is not always easy to empathize with others. Sarcasm for instance is tricky, just like words that have multiple meanings. For some people it is even more difficult, hardly even possible. They do not have that fully automatic view of the mind of the other, or at least to a lesser extent. As a result, they do not see thoughts, feelings and motives that are clear to some of us. You could speak of social poor vision. In addition, some are socially blind, and others need reading glasses.

Order of intentionality

The way you are able to think about yourself and about others (and their thoughts) is not the same for everyone. You can subdivide this difference in order of intentionality. Order 1: This is about the focus on an object, goal or event. Something you perceive. So think: alarm > run. Babies and also animals are in order 1. Order 2: As you grow up you can understand that someone expects / wants something from you (parents / teacher). Therefore, you can grant intentionality to others. There is an awareness that the other is also focusing on something. You can empathize with the other and think about thoughts. Children in primary school are in this order, just like chimpanzees. Order 3: Being able to see yourself through the eyes of someone else and realizing that they also have a thought and / or focus on something. "I know that you know that I ...” . Thinking about the thoughts of others thinking about others. Order 4: We call these complex social thoughts. I see/ I want/ I see that you see/ I see that you want/ I want that you want/ I want you to see that I see you/ I want you to want that I want you/ I see that you want that I want you to want. This goes up to probably order seven.

The transition from order 2 to order 3 takes place when you are in high school. This depends on your (social) environment and aptitude. Not everyone makes this step. We speak of a lower order at 1 and 2 and a higher order at 3. But never judge people by their level of communication. The point is that our society is geared towards a high order. This is already the case from primary school. Consider, for example, working in groups, which is normal these days: what do they want from you or say to you, but is that what they actually mean?

Terms such as: where do you expect to be in 5 years? What do you hope for? What are you longing for? Do you see that...? Do you realize that...? Cannot be filled in for people of a low order. People of a high order can think of what the person, asking that question, hopes for and for what purpose the best answer can be given. It can be therefore misleading and manipulating. Lying for the better. People of a low order can lie. Only their lies are so obvious that they become unbelievable. They react rather in a fighting or fleeing way, if they do not like it and do not know how to deal with it. Those people can even become aggressive. Their ignorance is often perceived as unwillingness by the outside world.

Fig. 17