Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 33, No. 11 by CAMP Rehoboth

Reflect. Resolve. Refresh. Renew. Happy 2024!

C R E A T I N G

M O R E

P O S I T I V E

R E H O B O T H

December 15, 2023 Volume 33, Number 11 camprehoboth.com

inside 4 In Brief 6 From the Executive Director KIM LEISEY, PHD

8 President’s View WES COMBS

10 Vice President’s View LESLIE LEDOGAR

12 Pride in Progress 14 CAMP News 16 Straight Talk

Heart of Gold, Hands of Love DAVID GARRETT

18 Community News 20 Aging Gracelessly There Really Is No Place like Our Home FAY JACOBS

22 On Dasher, On Dancer…

THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 33, NUMBER 11 • DECEMBER 15, 2023

30 It’s My Life

86 Be a Sport!

MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

NANCY SAKADUSKI

Haul Out the Holly

Tennis vs. Pickleball

34 Words Matter

88 Deep Inside Hollywood

The Gift of Words CLARENCE FLUKER

ROMEO SAN VICENTE

36 Out & About

90 The Real Dirt

Inspired by Reel Events

Evermore, Everlasting, Evergreen

ERIC PETERSON

ERIC WAHL

38 Ghosts of Christmases Past Moving On

CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Appreciation party, see page 14.

PATTIE CINELLI

40 Mentoring

Be a Game-Changer

42 Animal Farm(s) Goats and Alpacas (no Llamas)—Oh, My!

44 Rehoboth Reflections

The Not-So-Tiny Reindeer TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

24 CAMP Stories The Poinsettia

FAY JACOBS

ANN APTAKER

66 View Point

ROBERT DOMINIC

RICHARD ROSENDALL

50 Celebrity Interview Ts Madison

MICHAEL COOK

52 Sea Salt Table Pork-n-Sauerkraut ED CASTELLI

58 OUTlook

RICH BARNETT

The Best Job Ever

26 Health & Wellness

60 CAMPshots

Defying the Darkness

BETH SHOCKLEY

Falling into the Holidays

SHARON MORGAN

28 Here Come the Mummers

Selma Lagerlöf

48 Visiting View Seasons Change

MARY JO TARALLO

CHRISTOPHER MOORE

64 Historical Headliners

JAM Bistro for the Win!

KIM HOEY STEVENSON

Summer of ‘97

46 Dining Out

100 Home(less) for the Holidays Be a Holiday Miracle STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

104 Talking Trash (and Recycling) JEFFREY DANNIS

Feelings Trump Reason

68 CAMP Arts

LESLIE SINCLAIR & MARJ SHANNON

70 Booked Solid

TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

ON THE COVER

74 Living (a Long Time) with HIV

AI Generated Artwork by Murray Archibald

Time to Dance

Remember and Commit MARY JO TARALLO

78 Doomed Resolutions New Year’s Eve, 2019 TARA LYNN JOHNSON

82 Celebrity Profile See page 90

Raquel Willis

SARAH BRICKER HUNT

NANCY SAKADUSKI

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions. Email editor@camprehoboth.com. Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi). Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date.

Letters 2

DECEMBER 15, 2023

EDITOR Marj Shannon EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE Matty Brown DESIGN AND LAYOUT Mary Beth Ramsey ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Tricia Massella DISTRIBUTION Mark Wolf CONTRIBUTORS: Ann Aptaker, Rich Barnett, Matty Brown, Ed Castelli, Pattie Cinelli, Wes Combs, Michael Cook, Jeffrey Dannis, Robert Dominic, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, David Garrett, Sarah Bricker Hunt, Fay Jacobs, Tara Lynn Johnson, Leslie Ledogar, Kim Leisey, Tricia Massella, Christopher Moore, Sharon Morgan, Eric Peterson, Mary Beth Ramsey, Stephen Raskauskas, Richard Rosendall, Nancy Sakaduski, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Marj Shannon, Tara Sheldon, Beth Shockley, Leslie Sinclair, Kim Hoey Stevenson, Mary Jo Tarallo, Romeo San Vicente, Eric Wahl

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended in any way, to imply sexual orientation or gender identity. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. © 2023 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the editor.

From the Editor

CAMP REHOBOTH

MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE

BY MARJ SHANNON, EDITOR

MISSION

CAMP Rehoboth, which stands for (Creating A More Positive) Rehoboth, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit LGBTQ+ community service organization. It is the largest and only organization of its type serving the needs of LGBTQ+ people in Rehoboth, greater Sussex County, and throughout the state of Delaware. CAMP Rehoboth is dedicated to creating a positive environment inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Rehoboth Beach and its related communities. It seeks to promote cooperation and understanding among all people as they work to build a safer community with room for all.

VISION

We create proud and safe communities where gender identity and sexual orientation are respected.

PURPOSE

Promoting the health and wellness of our community through a variety of programs including HIV testing and counseling, mental health support, fitness classes, mindfulness classes, support for LGBTQ youth, and building community and support. Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking, and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of LGBTQ people. Advocating for our community to build a safe and inclusive community through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates. Education and outreach to the larger community, including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of LGBTQ people and our allies. Networking resources and information by publishing a newsletter, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

elcome to the December issue of Letters! I’ve kicked off the month with one of my favorite things: I saw my first snow geese of the season this morning. They are one of the many things I love about living here; it was terrific to see them back. It was terrific as well to see so many fun and/or informative columns “flock” across my desk this month—there’s lots for you to enjoy, here. I mean—goat yoga?! Thank Mary Jo Tarallo for that one. But before you really dig into the holiday reflections or tasty foodstuffs, take a look at pages 12 and 13. There, you’ll find so much evidence of Pride in Progress. There are not only “the numbers,” but also some great insights into CAMP Rehoboth’s impact in the community. So many more reasons to be of good cheer this holiday season. And then turn to Wes Combs’ and Leslie Ledogar’s columns to learn just a little about what’s next in store. The new Strategic Plan was just passed by the CAMP Rehoboth Board, and lots of exciting challenges await. Plan to be part of it all—to paraphrase the familiar catchphrase, “it takes our community.” About those holiday moments I sped past a paragraph or two ago—our writers have crafted some great stuff for you. Terri Schlichenmeyer weighs in on reindeer—let’s just say Santa chose wisely. Pattie Cinelli has her first Christmas tree in decades and is basking in its glow. Clarence Fluker reports on the joy he finds in an annual holiday letter he receives, and Eric Wahl has lots to say about evergreens. But wait—what about poinsettias? Rich Barnett’s got those covered. Meanwhile, Tara Lynn Johnson looks back to New Year’s Eve 2019—and the illfated resolutions she made for the year-that-moved-indoors. Christopher Moore—a new contributor—looks back even further, to the fateful, (wonderful) summer of ’97, which he spent in Rehoboth. Ah, youth! Looking ahead to 2024—Nancy Sakaduski writes about the somewhat checkered history of those New Year’s Day parade icons (in Philadelphia, anyway), the Mummers. Ed Castelli tells you just what to serve as you watch.

PRESIDENT Wesley Combs VICE PRESIDENT Leslie Ledogar SECRETARY Mike DeFlavia TREASURER Polly Donaldson AT-LARGE DIRECTORS Amanda Mahony Albanese, Pat Catanzariti, Lewis Dawley, David Garrett, Jenn Harpel, Kim Leisey (non-voting), Teri Seaton, and Jason D. White EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Kim Leisey

CAMP REHOBOTH 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | email editor@camprehoboth.com www.camprehoboth.com

Of course, it’s not a season that’s all goodness-and-light for everyone. In fact, its lack of (actual) light can be really difficult for some folks—see Sharon Morgan’s column on SAD. If you were at the World AIDS Day service at All Saints’ Episcopal Church on December 1, you heard one attendee’s report of living with HIV. If you missed hearing Christopher Costas speak—or even if you heard him but wanted to know more—you need look no further than page 74. As we close out this year of Letters, I wish you the happiest of holidays—whatever and however and whenever you celebrate. It’s been great connecting with our readers this year, and I’m eager to carry that into 2024. Look for our next issue online and in its distribution boxes on February 2. Meanwhile, you can always reach me at editor@camprehoboth.com. ▼

CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. is tax-exempt under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code. Contributions to CAMP Rehoboth are considered charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes and may be deducted to the fullest extent of the law. A copy of our exemption document is available for public inspection.

DECEMBER 15, 2023

3 Letters

World AIDS Day kicks off HIV Awareness Month

n December 1, CAMP Rehoboth honored the 35th commemoration of World AIDS Day with a service at All Saints’ Church. With the global theme “Let Communities Lead,” this year’s event featured a portion of the AIDS Quilt, which served as a powerful backdrop for the service as attendees remembered the many lives lost to AIDS and reflected on its continued impact today. Performances by members of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus and local musician Alicia Mickenberg provided a reflective space for attendees. A joint reading by local faith leaders, and dedicated time

where the community shared words and stories reflecting on loved ones lost to the epidemic, highlighted the strength in solidarity. World AIDS Day was just the start of honoring HIV Awareness Month, which extends throughout December. CAMP Rehoboth encourages all community members to honor the month by knowing their status and getting tested during daily walk-in testing hours at the center. During December, incentives are being offered to those tested; see page 76. For more information, visit camprehoboth.com. ▼ Photo credit: Leslie Sinclair

Send CAMP Rehoboth Soaring Into 2024

issed the chance to support CAMP Rehoboth Community Center on Giving Tuesday? Fret not! There’s still an opportunity to keep pride in progress into 2024 by contributing a year-end contribution. Stay tuned for more information on how to make a tax-deductible donation and double your impact, courtesy of matching gift donors Wes Combs and Greg Albright. ▼

Comings & Goings on the CAMP Rehoboth Board

s 2024 nears, the CAMP Rehoboth Board of Directors is welcoming some new faces and saying goodbye to one treasured Board member. First, CAMP Rehoboth’s Board of Directors appointed Polly Donaldson in July 2023. Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, she lived in Washington, DC for many years before retiring and moving to Rehoboth Beach in October 2021. Next, Michelle Manfredi was appointed to the Board at the November Board meeting. Michelle is an arts educator for

elementary youth in Kent County, and a longtime volunteer at CAMP Rehoboth. Michelle co-chairs the annual CAMP Rehoboth Block Party in October, and will co-chair Women’s FEST 2024 in the spring. Stay tuned for a formal introduction to Polly and Michelle in Letters’ first 2024 issue. Finally, Jason D. Mathis will be departing the Board, as he will be starting his next chapter in Mexico in the new year. Please join CAMP Rehoboth in wishing Jason well in all his future endeavors! ▼

Cruisin’ Tikis of Rehoboth Bay Support CAMP Rehoboth

ruisin’ Tikis of Rehoboth Bay donated $1,000 in support of CAMP Rehoboth for Pride Month. Owners Lawrence Sinkus and his wife donated a portion of each cruise that was chartered in June. Pictured L-R is owner Lawrence Sinkus, CAMP Rehoboth Development Manager Laurie Thompson, and Captain John Meyer.

Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington Presents “SELFIES” They’re back! Come January 13, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, DC (GMCW) will return to CAMP Rehoboth with its new show, “SELFIES.” Performances will be at 5:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. in CAMP Rehoboth’s Elkins-Archibald Atrium. Seating is limited, and past shows have sold out. Tickets are $30 and are available online at camprehoboth.com. Don’t delay! ▼ Letters 4

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Hosting a Historic Blood Drive

n November 11, CAMP Rehoboth hosted the Blood Bank of Delmarva (BBoD) for a historic blood drive. For the first time in four decades, gay, bisexual, and men who have sex with men (MSMs) were able to donate blood. This partnership followed the FDA lifting its ban earlier this year. In October, the BBoD had rolled out its new individual donor assessment, which screens for risky behaviors—instead of sexual orientations— to ensure safe blood donations. The community response was more than BBoD anticipated, with 42 total donors contributing to the cause, 10 of those walk-ins. Lt. Gov. Bethany Hall-Long, a professor of nursing at the University of Delaware, commented on the partnership’s impact: “I commend CAMP Rehoboth and the Blood Bank of Delmarva for their determination and commitment to raising awareness, educating the public, and fighting for equity. When we have equity in our health systems, that’s how we ensure services are sensitive and responsive, relevant, and meet the needs so no one is left behind.” CAMP Rehoboth and the BBoD are currently working on a follow-up drive for February 2024. Stay tuned for registration information at camprehoboth.com. Pictured: Daniel Bruner. Photo credit: Tony Prado.

Women’s FEST Headliner Announced

ark your calendars! CAMP Rehoboth has something particularly festive for spring: next year’s Women’s FEST, taking over Rehoboth Beach from April 25 - 28, 2024! As part of the festivities, CAMP Rehoboth is excited to announce that Lea DeLaria will be headlining with a performance at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center. Lea was the first openly gay comic on television in America, and is an accomplished jazz performer who has appeared in concert venues all over the world. She is best known as ‘Big Boo’

from Orange is the New Black (three SAG Awards). Lea can currently be seen in the indie feature film Potato Dreams of America, and in the Indigo Girls jukebox feature film, Glitter & Doom. And, she will be starring in the upcoming Off-Broadway Revival of Tennessee Williams’ play, Night of the Iguana, directed by Emily Mann. Right now you can book a stay with an incredible 30 percent discount at the Atlantic Sands before January 1, 2024; there’s a 20 percent discount if booked after. Just mention “Women’s FEST” with the booking. Be sure to check the website for continuing updates, and “like” @CAMPRehobothWomensFEST on Facebook! ▼

Dewey Beer Supports CAMP Rehoboth

n November 30, CAMP Rehoboth was presented a check representing Dewey Beer Company’s generous donations from the Dewey Beer Brewery tours in Harbeson, which benefitted CAMP Rehoboth earlier this year. ▼ Photo, L-R: Matty Brown, Gar Bercury, sales with Dewey Beer Company, Laurie Thompson, Tara Sheldon, Kim Leisey

#GivingTuesday at CAMP Rehoboth

TRAVELS WITH LETTERS

iving Tuesday was a great success at CAMP Rehoboth thanks to 102 donors. With community support, CAMP Rehoboth raised $17,649—exceeding its initial goal by 68 percent! CAMP Rehoboth is grateful for Jennifer Rubenstein and Diane Scobey’s matching gift of $5,000. All these donations will go towards Creating A More Positive Rehoboth and beyond, and will enable CAMP Rehoboth to be a beacon of light for the LGBTQ+ community. ▼

HONOLULU & ANCHORAGE

Mateo & Michael’s excellent adventure DECEMBER 15, 2023

5 Letters

From the Executive Director

BY KIM LEISEY, PHD

Feeling at Home and Whole

Being able to bring our full and whole selves to all parts of life is wondrous.

Letters 6

DECEMBER 15, 2023

ighting as a 20-year-old Marine in the South Pacific during World War II, my father was shot in the hand by a sniper. His hand was badly injured, and he was flown to a medical ship offshore from where he had been fighting in the Battle of Tarawa. On board the chaos of the medical ship he was confronted by a surgeon who had been operating on injured Marines for two days. “We’re going to have to amputate your hand,” the surgeon announced to my father. “No, please don’t, I’m a baseball pitcher, this is my pitching hand,” my dad begged. “Tell you what, let me get some sleep and I’ll be back to see you in four hours,” the surgeon replied. At age 20, my father’s salient identity was that of being a baseball pitcher. He pitched in college (before he left for the war) and in the Marine Corps at Parris Island before leaving for the South Pacific. The thought of losing his ability to pitch baseball added to the trauma of his physical injury—how would he feel “whole?” Without baseball, the camaraderie of his teammates, and the shared experiences, my dad laid in bed on the medical ship wondering, “who will I be without my hand and without baseball?” After four hours of sleep the doctor returned and announced to my dad that he was going to send him to the Pearl Harbor Hospital on the island of Oahu. Although my dad’s hand was saved by a very skilled surgeon, he lost his ability to pitch baseball. He grieved not feeling whole and spent many years rehabilitating his hand, his spirit, and his identity. When talking with some potential community partners, I get asked, “What does CAMP Rehoboth do?” The real question in their minds is “what do you produce, what is your outcome?” To answer this question, I have talked with many people over the past

five months. I have asked, “What does CAMP Rehoboth personally mean to you?” Answers include vibrant stories of friends, festivals, Sundance, community, group houses, restaurants, weekends, vacations, and fun times. When I drill into these answers with more questions, I hear the following, repeatedly: “CAMP Rehoboth has created an environment where it is safe for me to feel whole; I don’t have to hide who I am at my core.” The answer implies a less transactional process. The outcome of CAMP Rehoboth’s collective work is transformational. Putting aside or hiding parts of ourselves, especially the most salient parts of our identities, is exhausting and stressful. The costs to our relationships, friendships, families, work, and careers are typically debilitating. Most importantly, the cost to our health can be immense. The cumulative impact sneaks up on us. Creating environments, experiences, and opportunities where we feel at home with ourselves is a spectacular outcome. Feeling at home with ourselves is feeling whole. We feel more integrated with freed-up energy that had been expended hiding. Imagine flourishing across an entire lifespan, always feeling at home and whole. Being able to bring our full and whole selves to all parts of life is wondrous. We can certainly be proud of the CAMP Rehoboth community! And, we know there is more we must do, especially with our youth, our elders, our trans siblings, and our BIPOC family. Let’s imagine and make it happen. For now, take a breath and get ready for our next steps. I look forward to working together in 2024. ▼ Kim Leisey, PhD, is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

7 Letters

President’s View

BY WESLEY COMBS

Pride in Progress: Embrace, Empower, Evolve

t the CAMP Rehoboth Board meeting in late November, we inaugurated a new tradition at the suggestion of Board Vice President Leslie Ledogar after attending a recent Delaware Alliance for Nonprofit Advancement Leadership Capacity training. Before we dove into the content during each session, Facilitator Justin Pollock explained he begins every meeting with “a moment of awesomeness” by asking each person to share one awesome thing happening in their lives either personally, professionally, or in their nonprofit work. The purpose is to create a positive mindset for the group by reminding each other that regardless of the chaos and frustration we may be experiencing, there is a silver lining somewhere if we look hard enough. As someone who has historically tended to look at the glass half-empty, I was surprised to see how this simple exercise shifted my perspective to what’s positive in my life. This helped to clear my head of any negative energy and focus my attention on the content being presented. Because we are in the season of giving thanks, I made a slight alteration to this exercise and asked the Board to come prepared to say in a single sentence “one thing they were grateful for.” The request for brevity was two-fold: remind us of what’s good in our lives while trying to keep the meeting moving so we ended on time. (In case you did not know, my nickname, given to me many years ago by my husband, is Schedulina, and I try to live up to it.) The result far surpassed my expectations. What I heard warmed my heart, especially given the challenges facing CAMP Rehoboth and its community during the last two years of transition. Because so many have been by the Board’s side along the way, I felt it was important to share some of our sentiments with you. Letters 8

DECEMBER 15, 2023

The Board is: • Thankful for the hard work from our small but committed staff who made sure the doors were always open to everyone who needed a place to feel safe and at home. • Grateful that a national search helped us find our new Executive Director, Kim Leisey. • Overwhelmed by the generosity of so many—including longtime donors Jennifer Rubenstein and Diane Scobey who made a $5,000 Giving Tuesday matching gift—that helped raise more than $17,000 in one day.

While we know there is still much work to be done in the years ahead, we have many reasons to be optimistic about what the future holds for CAMP Rehoboth and those we serve. • Hopeful about a new partnership with Yale School of Public Health who will be working with CAMP Rehoboth to provide free LGBTQ+ affirmative cognitive behavior training to local healthcare professionals—the first mental health treatment specifically for LGBTQ+ people. I personally am so appreciative for my fellow Board members who are collectively laser-focused on doing what’s necessary to ensure CAMP Rehoboth continues to serve the diverse needs of the LGBTQ+ community in southern Delaware and beyond. While we know there is still much work to be done in the years ahead, we have many reasons to be optimistic about what the future holds for CAMP Rehoboth and those we serve. First is our new five-year strategic plan

which the Board has just approved, and which is focused on maximizing impact, building diversified funding sources, increasing community engagement, and strengthening overall governance and leadership capacity. (More details will be shared with you after the first of the year.) Second is our new Executive Director, Kim Leisey, who possesses the right skills needed for CAMP Rehoboth to successfully evolve while also honoring the legacy of our founders Steve Elkins and Murray Archibald. Third is being accepted into DANA’s Nonprofit Accelerator Program, a threeyear peer learning Cohort for Executive Directors that provides CAMP Rehoboth with a bank of organizational support and assistance hours designed to build capacity and capability across the organization. And fourth is our community. Because of you—staff, volunteers, members, donors, sponsors, and external partners— CAMP Rehoboth is able to continue its work to build a safer community with room for all. Which is why we have selected “Pride in Progress: Embrace, Empower, Evolve” as our theme for 2024: Create opportunities for everyone to evolve through improved health, community engagement, cultural enrichment, education, and advocacy. Empower LGBTQ+ people to be their best selves as well as get involved to help support others in need across southern Delaware. Programs at CAMP Rehoboth are designed to embrace community and offer a sense of belonging. We hope you will join us to help CAMP Rehoboth achieve these goals in the coming year. Working together, the possibilities are endless. On behalf of the Board of Directors, we thank you for your support and wish you a very Happy New Year. ▼ Wesley Combs is CAMP Rehoboth Board President.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

9 Letters

Vice President’s View

BY LESLIE LEDOGAR

Strength in a Strategy No Shiny Object Syndrome Here …it is even more critical today that CAMP Rehoboth Community Center sets out a focused and ambitious strategic plan that will help guide it through unprecedented challenges and opportunities in the coming years.

appy holidays, with their seasonal lights and glitter. Shiny objects abound, serving as a welcome distraction from the mundane of the everyday. While shiny objects are a delightful bedazzlement during the holidays, Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS) can be the scourge of any organization that does not have a strategic plan. When afflicted with SOS, the organization careens from one shiny idea to the next, saying “Oh look, we could do that! Oh wait, maybe we should do this!,” with no rhyme, reason, or direction. On the other hand, innovative and effective work takes intentional and strategic planning that reflects our communities’ and supporters’ voices, values, and needs. That’s why it is even more critical today that CAMP Rehoboth Community Center sets out a focused and ambitious strategic plan that will help guide it through unprecedented challenges and opportunities in the coming years. Entitled Creating A More Positive Rehoboth: Pride In Progress—Embrace, Empower, Evolve, the Board adopted the Strategic Plan for 2024-2028 at its November 2023 meeting. The title captures the theme of Giving Tuesday and makes that theme the beacon for the next five years. That is, over the next five years, we will take pride in progress as we em-

brace, empower, and evolve along the following four priority planks: A: Maximize the impact of our programs. B: Build a diversified and sustainable funding plan. C: Increase and broaden our community engagement. D: Strengthen board governance and staff leadership. The Board anticipates rolling out the details of the plan in the first quarter of 2024. We invite you to stay tuned and to join us on our journey to continue to Create A More Positive Rehoboth and beyond in 2024. In the meantime, enjoy the sights, sounds, and shiny objects of the holiday season, safe in the knowledge that CAMP Rehoboth does not suffer from SOS. Rather, we are innovating ways to continue to promote cooperation, understanding, and well-being while building a safer community with room for all. The Board owes a debt of gratitude to the Strategic Planning Task Force and to MMP Associates, Inc. for their guidance throughout this process. ▼ Leslie Ledogar is CAMP Rehoboth Board Vice President.

CAMP REHOBOTH THANKS OUR 2023 ANNUAL SPONSORS

For information on how to become a CAMP Rehoboth Annual Sponsor, email development@camprehoboth.com or call 302-227-5620. Letters 10

DECEMBER 15, 2023

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY 2 024!

Congratulations to the Olivia Shore Sharks 2023 Reboboth Beach Sr. Women's Softball League Champions

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11 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH BY THE NUMBERS • 2023

PRIDE In Progress Embrace. Empower. Evolve. O

ver the past year, CAMP Rehoboth has witnessed remarkable achievements. Through a diverse range of arts, health, and community programs, we have empowered many members to embrace their true selves and live authentically. As an onslaught of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation abounds in states all across our nation, CAMP Rehoboth has recognized the need to create safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community is more important than ever. CAMP Rehoboth will continue being a beacon of light that will allow individuals to embrace a sense of belonging, feel empowered to practice well-being on all levels, and evolve to a better tomorrow. While the financials show 2022’s fiscal strength, the rest of the report is a snapshot of CAMP Rehoboth’s work throughout 2023.* *Data through October 31, 2023

Financials at a Glance YEAR 2022

2022 REVENUE | $1,495,547

■ Special Events

arts

Audience numbers for CAMP Rehoboth arts events

$476,093 ■ Grants $393,102 ■ Memberships $239,102 ■ Magazine $187,861 ■ Donations $153,118 ■ Rental Income $56,849

CHORUS + MUSIC EVENTS

3,022 THEATRE

738

VISUAL ARTS

132

2022 EXPENDITURES | $1,419,992

EXHIBITING ARTISTS

705

PEOPLE VIEWING ART

■ Outreach

$438,518

■ Health & Wellness $296,323

■ Community Center $215,043

■ Fundraising & Development $193,116 ■ Management & General $197,234 ■ Rental Operations $79,758 Letters 12

DECEMBER 15, 2023

❤

Our Sponsors ❤ 2023 ANNUAL SPONSORS: 6 2023 EVENT SPONSORS: 144 (WOMEN’S FEST | SUNFESTIVAL | BLOCK PARTY)

2023 • CAMP REHOBOTH BY THE NUMBERS

Health & Wellness

VOLUNTEER HOURS 4,443 TOTAL HOURS*

CAMPsafe

52.7K

DOLLAR VALUE PER HOUR: $31.80†

$141,287

CONDOMS DISTRIBUTED

THROUGHOUT DELAWARE

DOLLAR VALUE OF TOTAL HOURS

HIV 340

*Through Oct. 31, 2023. †Source: Independent Sector

IN WEST SUSSEX

TESTS 57 AT CAMP REHOBOTH

Community ENGAGEMENT

4500 Women’s FEST Attendees

HEALTH+WELLNESS PROGRAMS Average program attendance

FLAMING KNITTERS → 10 (BI-WEEKLY) CHAIR YOGA → 8 (WEEKLY) YOGA OVER 50! → 10 (DAILY) YOGA FOR MEN → 15 (WEEKLY) WOMEN IN CIRCLE → 15 (BI-WEEKLY)

2000

4000

SUNFESTIVAL Attendees

Block Party Attendees

102

CAMP Chorus Members

Women’s Golf League Players

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

48K

DISTRIBUTION PRINT RUN

ONLINE READS

ONLINE IMPRESSIONS

66.8K 58.3K

13.6K 12.7K

2023

2022

2023

2022

Advocacy CAMP REHOBOTH’S ADVOCACY includes diversity & cultural competency training, advocacy on state & local issues, and responses to realtime events or news. Here’s a snapshot of 2023 initiatives; for a complete list, visit camprehoboth.com/advocacy.

#DRAGISNOTACRIME March 22: CAMP Rehoboth issued a statement in response to growing anti-drag legislation. OLDER AMERICANS ACT August 15: CAMP Rehoboth provided comments in support of regulations expanding services for LGBTQ+ seniors under the Older Americans Act. BLOOD DRIVE WITH BLOOD BANK OF DELMARVA (BBOD) November 11: CAMP Rehoboth hosted a blood drive in partnership with the BBOD.

COMMUNITY PARTNERS

Partnerships & Collaborations – IN 2023 – CAMP Rehoboth partnered and collaborated with more than

4

ORGANIZATIONS DECEMBER 15, 2023

13 Letters

CAMPNews Welcoming Josh Sheets

lease join CAMP Rehoboth in welcoming its latest staff member, Josh Sheets. Josh started on December 4 as the Health and Wellness Specialist, and will coordinate and provide HIV education, testing, and distribution of materials in Rehoboth and West Sussex County at several locations. Josh’s previous experience includes positions at the Delaware HIV Consortium, ChristianaCare, and Kent Sussex Community Services. Josh also acted as the coordinator of the AIDS Walk in Rehoboth Beach for three years. Welcome, Josh! CAMP Rehoboth is deeply grateful to both Jerry Filbin and Sharon Morgan for expanding their roles to cover CAMPsafe services in western Sussex County throughout 2023. Jerry and Sharon will continue on to train Josh in the coming months and have both reported looking forward to retiring (again). Thank you, Jerry and Sharon! ▼

The British Are Coming! The CAMP Rehoboth Chorus is gearing up for its signature President’s Day weekend concert, “The British Are Coming!” The invasion will boast tunes from the Beatles, George Michael, the Spice Girls, Queen, Adele, Elton John, the Bee Gees, and more. The Chorus, lead by Artistic Director Doug Yetter, will be accompanied by David Zipse and the CAMP Chorus Band. Attendees will be treated to medleys galore for a comprehensive English music experience. (For more on the concert, see our interview with Doug on page 69.)

CROP Returns to the Food Bank

CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) team of nine "Frequent Fooders" returned to the Food Bank of Delaware in Milford on Tuesday, November 14. This time 400 backpacks were assembled for weekend breakfasts and lunches for school kids. Food insecurity remains a fact of life for many Delaware families, so CROP is continuing to help. There are visits scheduled to the Food Bank every two months throughout 2024. Come join us! ▼ Letters 14

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Appreciating Our Volunteers

n Friday, November 17, CAMP Rehoboth celebrated its volunteers at the annual Volunteer Appreciation Party. Held the Friday before Thanksgiving, CAMP Rehoboth shared in the spirit of giving thanks, providing a social space and catered food, courtesy of Greater Good Events. Several door prizes were raffled off to lucky attendees, including packs of the Passion Pride beer collaboration with Dogfish Head and gift cards to local establishments. ▼

Lights! Sound! Action!

his fall, CAMP Rehoboth Community Center has continued the renovations enabled by funds secured under the Community Reinvestment Fund’s Bond Bill earlier this year. In November, MidSouth Audio installed a new light and sound system in the Elkins-Archibald Atrium. The permanent light and sound system will allow for greater use and rental of the atrium. Halogen indoor lighting has been replaced with LED lights to be more efficient and environmentally friendly. Additionally, a new HVAC system was installed on the second floor of 37 Baltimore Avenue; new gutters (with debris protectors!) were installed at 37 and 39 Baltimore; and new electrical work was completed, finalizing several of this fall’s projects. Renovations will continue into the winter season, and will include new carpeting, painted walls, an accessibility lift to 39 Baltimore, an updated security system, several door replacements, and more. The center will enjoy a refresh heading into 2024, creating a more welcoming experience for all visitors and community members. Special thanks goes out to Carol Brice, who has been instrumental in guiding the renovations and repairs. ▼

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

15 Letters

Straight Talk

BY DAVID GARRETT

Heart of Gold, Hands of Love

hat to do when one retires? If you are anything like Alan Spiegelman, you get on the computer and search “volunteer.” The opportunity that jumped out at him right away was a volunteer position with Delaware Hospice. Hospice care has been a focus of caring for Alan for over three decades. While living in New York City before moving to Rehoboth, Alan sat at the bedsides of many people near and at the moment of death. He prayed for them and held their hands. As Hospice Chaplain, he has married (in New York City) gay couples with one partner on the precipice of death, and, when asked, has administered last rites. Alan shares how important it is to help people visualize scenes that take their focus away from their suffering and lead them forward to a peaceful death. “I helped them see the Hand of God who was waiting for them with open arms. I told the patients to look for white daisies and see how beautiful they were.” Sometimes the hospice patients needed permission to die without family present. Alan gave them that permission. CAMP Rehoboth became a new venue for his volunteer work after he attended a volunteer session at CAMP some years ago, where he learned about the variety of opportunities available. A new program was beginning at CAMP, and it was this that sparked Alan’s interest. A pilot program for HIV testing and counseling was about to start, and he was ready for the challenge. Following a three-day training session, the program began. The program has since grown. Today, there are five HIV testers active through the efforts of CAMP. When Alan meets with someone to oversee the HIV testing, he educates them about the testing process, safe and unsafe sex, oral sex, how to properly use a condom, any recent breakthroughs in medicines, and makes Letters 16

DECEMBER 15, 2023

sure that all questions the person may have are answered. No topic is off limits. Of course, confidentiality is essential. Serving as a volunteer in the LGBTQ+ community is not a 9-5 thing. No one “clocks off” from awareness of people in need. This is especially the case when involved with people who are disenfranchised from their families. Alan shares a particularly difficult situation he literally walked into.

With Alan’s help, this family navigated the unknown territory of accepting their son as gay. Alan was walking the Rehoboth Boardwalk one day and happened to see a young man sitting on a bench in tears. Alan walked over to him and asked if he needed help. The young man said that no one could help him, that no one cares. Alan simply replied, “I care.” As this person regained his composure, he told Alan what was happening in his life that brought him to this point. “I recently told my parents that I was gay. They screamed at me. They yelled that I was going to die from HIV. They called me a [expletive for gay]. They told me to get out of this house and don’t ever come back!” Alan told this man that his parents really do love him. “Would you like me to talk to them?” With his permission, Alan called the parents and arranged a meeting. At this impromptu gathering, the parents asked Alan why their son was gay. He explained that when a child is born, they are either gay or straight. “Your son is sitting here on the Boardwalk crying because he loves you

but you no longer love him. Up until the time he told you he was gay you loved him. Do you really want him to leave your house?” They replied “no, but he is gay!” Alan shared that being gay is not a disease. Their son was born gay. If they still loved him, would they tell him so, and ask him to come back home? After some soul-searching reflection, they did just that. With Alan’s help, this family navigated the unknown territory of accepting their son as gay. This was not in Alan’s position description as a volunteer HIV tester at CAMP Rehoboth, but this situation presented itself at a time and place when Alan was able to change lives. Not everything connected with HIV testing has a happy ending. In fact, the future of HIV testing in Delaware is being threatened. The state will cut funding for HIV prevention by $1.8 million in 2024. The ramifications of this are difficult to project, but will certainly result in many programs being curtailed or cease altogether. “No matter the cuts, CAMP Rehoboth is still committed to providing the services we can with the resources we have and partnering with other organizations to provide the best services possible,” says Kim Leisey, Executive Director. These are definitely uncertain times in which we live. We need more people like Alan Spiegelman, changing lives each day with compassion. We need more people with hearts of gold and hands of love. ▼ David Garrett, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, is a straight advocate for equality and inclusion. He is also the proud father of an adult trans daughter. Email David Garrett at davidg@camprehoboth.com.

DECEMBER 15, 2023

17 Letters

CommunityNews Commemorative Weekend Celebration, January 2024

he Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Celebration Organization, Sussex County, Inc. invites everyone to participate in the 36th Annual Commemorative Weekend Celebration in honor of the late civil rights leader, January 13-15, 2024. The theme for the weekend this year is “Living the Dream: It Starts with Me!” In order for Dr. King’s Dream to truly be fulfilled, each of us has an important role to play. The Annual Banquet will be held on Saturday, January 13, beginning at 4:30 p.m., at the CHEER Center, 20520 Sand Hill Road, Georgetown, Delaware. The keynote speaker will be Representative Esthelda (Stell) Parker Selby, distinguished educator and State Representative of District 20 (Milton and Lewes). Recipient of many awards and honors, Rep. Selby has served on the Delaware State University Board of Trustees, as Milton City Councilwoman, and President of the Cape Henlopen School Board, and as an active member of many local organizations. Rep. Parker Selby exemplifies the theme of the 2024 celebration weekend. On Sunday, January 14, everyone is encouraged to worship at a location of their choice. And throughout the weekend, everyone is encouraged to participate in the various activities sponsored by local organizations, especially service projects.

On Monday, January 15, there will be a Monday Holiday Community Worship Service, beginning at 10:00 a.m. The service will be held in person at Wesley Chapel United Methodist Church, 23115 Slaughter Neck Road, Lincoln, Delaware. The Messenger this year will be Bishop Jamie Hazzard of the Welcome Full Gospel Holiness Church, Slaughter Neck. For Monday Holiday Worship Information, call Janie Miller: 302-227-3118. Banquet tickets are $50 for adults, and $25 for children 15 and under. Tickets are offered through advance sales only; there will be no tickets sold at the door. The deadline to reserve tickets is December 27, 2023. For ticket sales or additional information, reach out to Don Peterson at 703-9631871, or email MLKTickets2024@gmail.com. The community’s support is always needed and appreciated in perpetuating and nurturing the legacy, the vision, and the dream of Dr. King. Donations to the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Celebration Organization may be sent to PO Box 781, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware 19971. Contributions will help fund scholarships for deserving youth in Sussex County and the ongoing work of the Organization. For more information, call Waynne Paskins: 302-227-8738. ▼

We Have Always Been Here

oon, Delaware’s Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs will be publishing the complete findings of a research project celebrating Delaware’s queer heritage. The project included extensive research, contributions from LGBTQ+ organizations and private collections, and personal oral interviews. Just a little of what’s to come can be viewed now at history.delaware.gov/lgbtq-history/. One entry on the nascent site is a photo of CAMP Rehoboth founders Murray Archibald and Steve Elkins, taken at the first Sundance Festival. Another photo features Lisa Goodman and her partner, Drew Fennell, who were the first couple to unite under Delaware’s civil union law in 2012. One current entry serves as an introduction to Barbara Gittings, who grew up in Wilmington and was one of the earliest lesbian activists in America. Her activist career included lobbying to remove homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and serving on the board of directors of the first national LGBTQ+ rights organization, the National Gay Task Force. Another features Edwina Kruse (1848-1930), Howard High School’s first Black principal. A collection of Kruse’s letters to her lover, Alice Dunbar-Nelson, were purchased by the University of Deware Special Collections in 1985, and serve as archival evidence of queer love between two women of color in the early twentieth century. Users are encouraged to check back often—the site will Letters 18

DECEMBER 15, 2023

eventually include many more stories recounting how queer people and their impacts have been a strong, driving force in Delaware communities and American culture. ▼ Pictured, Murray Archibald and Steve Elkins at the first Sundance.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

19 Letters

Aging Gracelessly

BY FAY JACOBS

There Really Is No Place like Our Home

ere we are in the thick of the holiday season and I’m delighted to have the opportunity to say a few words. And yes, I’ve been doing this fairly regularly for the past 26 years. But this year feels a bit different. On Monday, November 13, I attended the first full meeting of the 2024 Women’s FEST Committee. It was great to be there just to provide some Women’s FEST history to the crowd of faces mostly new to me. Teri Seaton and Lisa Evans, along with Michelle Manfredi and Kim Smitas, are co-chairing the event, and it’s a new crew’s job to put the FEST together. I’m certain they will have the kind of magical, enriching experiences I had for almost 20 years, the last 10, ending in 2020, with co-chairs Dottie Cirelli and Nancy Hewish. These 2024 volunteers are already coming up with some amazing plans—as you soon will be reading in this magazine! Then, on Friday afternoon, November 17, I stopped by the Elkins-Archibald Atrium (how I love that name!) at CAMP Rehoboth for the Volunteer Appreciation party. Looking around the room, I was stunned and pleased to see so many people I did not know. Executive Director Kim Leisey rose to speak, amid welcoming cheers and support and I could see the excitement and anticipation on the volunteers’ faces. It’s a whole new world at 37 Baltimore Avenue, with our old guard applauding a new generation’s chance to have the remarkable sense of community, success, and enduring friendships we nurtured and enjoy to this day. Sure, we Boomers will be back for events, fundraising, and a few volunteer hours now and then. But it’s a thrill to see so many new faces running the show. Actually, Rehoboth Beach is unique when it comes to having a central organizing non-profit to bring the whole community together. Over the past decade, Allentown and Reading, Pennsylvania, have nurtured their own community centers, but years ago, when I worked for Rehoboth Beach Main Street, there were no other organizations like CAMP Rehoboth in small towns in the country.

It’s a fact that our sense of community here, our support systems for our friends, our sense of caring is what makes this place so special.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

I traveled nationwide to Main Street conferences, presenting a program called Rainbow Flags on Main Street, talking about how CAMP Rehoboth provides services, social events, and a support system for the LGBTQ+ community. I cannot tell you how many people lamented their towns having none of the same and asking how to start such an organization at home. I was proud to be an advocate for CAMP Rehoboth and our community. Then, speaking of community, wow. On Friday night, November 17, I had the pleasure, and it was MY pleasure, of performing my comedy show at the Top of the Pines. While we all laughed together, a kind of raucous laughter so needed amid today’s horrors, the spirit of community in that room took my breath away. Along with the comedy I shared some personal tales of Delaware’s gay rights journey, and stories about a transgender friend, and again, I could feel the emotional energy that makes our LGBTQ+ population and its cherished allies so special. I’ve had a few weeks to think about this, but it might just be that November 17 at the Top of the Pines was one of my most rewarding experiences ever in Gayberry, RFD. And if you might indulge me in some shameless promotion, I’ll be back at the Top of the Pines again on Thursday, January 11. Tickets at TOTPshows.com. It’s a fact that our sense of community here, our support systems for our friends, our sense of caring is what makes this place so special. And that’s why friends who once lived here are returning to us from other places, fleeing Florida, leaving the southwest, coming home to be in Sussex County where the heartbeat of the community is on Baltimore Avenue, keeping us all connected. So yeah, there’s no place like home. And as you go through the holidays and into the new year, remember something important: you don’t stop playing because you get old, you get old because you stop playing! Next stops for me include a trip to Schellville and lots more. After all, life is like a roll of toilet paper. The nearer you get to the end, the faster it goes! So have fun and I’ll see you in these pages in 2024. ▼ Fay Jacobs is the author of five published books and is touring with her one-woman sit-down comedy show, Aging Gracelessly.

MARK YOUR CALENDARS:

April 25 - 28, 2024

2024

JOIN THE FUN!

Featuring Lea DeLaria

(from Orange Is the New Black )

FEST PASSES AND TIX AVAILABLE BEGINNING FEBRUARY. Photo by Tina Turnbow

Wo m e n’s F E ST

Laugh! Lea DeLaria at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center! Play! Golf, pickleball, bike ride, cornhole, bowling, and more! Dance! Thursday Georgette Krenkel’s Kick Off Party, and Saturday night dance both at the RB Convention Center!

Experience! The beloved speaker series returns TBA Discover! Popular craft expo, bingo, singles mixer, art show, and more! Remember! Honor loved ones and fight cancer: Broadwalk on the Boardwalk Stay! 30% discount at host hotel The Atlantic Sands before January 1, 2024 and

20% discount if booked in 2024. Call and mention “Women’s FEST” when booking at 302-227-2511. For more information, visit camprehoboth.com

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

21 Letters

ON DASHER, ON DANCER...

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

The Not-So-Tiny Reindeer

uick: name the eight tiny reindeer. Most people can—thank you, Gene Autry and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”—but the truth about Santa's reindeer-powered sleigh might surprise you. In fact, what you think you know about reindeer may be all wrong and Merry Christmas to that. First of all, when you say "reindeer" in America and Canada, you're referring to a domesticated animal. If the animal is wild, it's a caribou. Yep, same animal, same deer family. Fossil evidence shows that caribou evolved up to six million years ago somewhere in South America and migrated at some point northward and to Great Britain. In the scheme of historical things, they were Johnny-come-latelys, domesticated around 3,000 years ago, or about 12,000 years after cattle moved to the farm. Today, reindeer are common nearly everywhere in the northern hemisphere nearest to the poles. Ancient Norsemen called reindeer "hreinin," which apparently means "horned creature," and if you personally know one, you'd know why. Unlike most others in the deer family, both male and female reindeer grow antlers, with the male rein-

deer's reaching a total length of nearly six feet. If those sound like something you'd foolishly mess with, consider the weight of a male reindeer (up to 700 pounds). Then consider their cloven, four-toed feet, which are smaller but harder in the winter, but which will expand in a snowshoe-like

So why did a jolly old elf pick reindeer and not, say, eight moose? fashion so that the reindeer can carry their bulk through snow and ice. Surprisingly, their feet soften and grow larger when hard-packed snow and icy creeks are not an issue for them. Santa picked his pack animals correctly, when you take into account that he lives at the North Pole and he travels high in a cold atmosphere. Reindeer specifically evolved to survive freezing temperatures: they're covered from head to the underside of those feet with insulating hair that traps heat. Hair covers a reindeer's nose, too, which helps it breathe by heating the icy air before it reaches the lungs.

Caribou are great migrators—some will travel more than 3,000 miles in a year, which is more than any other migrating animal. Calves can run within an hour-anda-half of birth. In the winter, to ensure that a migrating caribou stays with its herd at times when sight is limited (such as during a blizzard), the animal's legs make a clicking noise when it moves. So why did a jolly old elf pick reindeer and not, say, eight moose? It seems that the reindeer's reputation as a pack animal had something to do with it—the idea of eight moose is hilarious, but not practical—and so, in the early 1800s, a poem by an anonymous author mentioned reindeer and Santa together. In 1823, it was official, and the eight reindeer even had names and a longer story to go with their Boss's Christmas Eve Work. Rudolph got a red nose in 1939, and a television special in 1964. But before that, he got a song that remains the tip-top best-selling Christmas song of all-time. Thanks, Gene Autry. ▼ Terri Schlichenmeyer’s second book, The Book of American Facts and Trivia, comes out this winter. Her first (Big Book of Facts) is available now.

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23 Letters

CAMP Stories

BY RICH BARNETT

The Poinsettia: A Christmas Icon

here are many plants associated with the Christmas season, but nothing screams ‘tis the season IMHO like a ruby-red poinsettia wrapped in shiny foil wrapping paper. Did you know the poinsettia is the best-selling potted plant in the US, contributing approximately $250 million to the economy? More than 35 million poinsettias are sold each year, most during the six-week stretch leading up to Christmas day. Clearly, people like the poinsettia. Yet, I guarantee you many despise the plant and consider it a tacky, genetically modified freak sold like fast food to the masses and then committed to the trash. It’s easy to fall into this mindset, especially when you come face to face with a gaudy dyed blue and purple glittered poinsettia growing in floral foam that some grocery store or big box retailers put out even before you’ve tossed out the Thanksgiving leftovers. Have you ever wondered how the poinsettia came to be associated with the holidays? The poinsettia is native to southern Mexico and Central America where it was known as cuetlaxochitl, which translates to “flower that wilts.” Yes, the plants wilt, another reason some folks don’t like them. Responding to the lengthening nights after the autumn equinox, wild cuetlaxochitl comes into full bloom by the month of December. Green leaves give way to red bracts that surround the small yellow flowers on the end of the plants’ tall stems. A bract is a modified leaf associated with a plant’s flowers. In the case of cuetlaxochitl, the brightly colored bracts help attract pollinators to the small flowers. Converted Mexican Catholics called the plant La Flor de la Nochebuena— Flower of the Holy Night. The flower connects to the legend of a young girl distraught about not having anything with which to honor the Baby Jesus in a Christmas Procession. An angel tells her that any gift given with love is a wonderLetters 24

DECEMBER 15, 2023

ful gift. Later, the weeds she gathers by the roadside to place around the manger miraculously transform into the beautiful red star flower. Cuetlaxochitl was introduced to the United States by Joel Poinsett, a South Carolina slaveholder and botanist who as the first US Minister to Mexico came

Ecke…discovered a secret grafting technique that caused seedlings to branch, resulting in a bushier plant. across the plant. In 1828, he sent cuttings of the plant to his plantation greenhouse in South Carolina. Poinsett also sent one of his specimens to Robert Buist, a famous Philadelphia botanist with the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society. A successful floral import-export executive, Buist introduced the plant in Europe in the 1830s and christened it “Euphorbia Poinsettia” in honor of Poinsett. People quickly began calling it the poinsettia. Interestingly, in all I’ve learned about the poinsettia, the fact that it’s named after a slaveowner seems to be ignored. As does the fact that Mexicans used the word “poinsettismo,” referring to Poinsett to describe actions perceived as American meddling in Mexican affairs. Anyhow, after the Vatican began using the plant for Christmas decoration in the 19th century, all Catholic churches soon followed suit. But the main reason

poinsettias became so popular is due to a man named Paul Ecke, a German immigrant who ran a nursery business in California in the 1920s. Ecke fell in love with the poinsettia and discovered a secret grafting technique that caused seedlings to branch, resulting in a bushier plant. Competitor plants were leggy and prone to splaying open. He began growing the poinsettia in the tens of thousands for Christmas when other flowers were scarce. In the 1960s, Ecke’s son took over the business. To boost holiday sales, he sent poinsettias to all the major TV shows, including The Tonight Show and Bob Hope’s holiday specials. When the programs aired, red poinsettias were visible to millions of viewers. His marketing strategy worked and the Ecke family soon controlled 90 percent of the poinsettia market. Things began to change in the 1980s when the family’s secret grafting technique was discovered. Poinsettia breeders everywhere began developing new plants in the dizzying array of colors and shapes you see today. In recognition of the popularity of the poinsettia and the contributions of Poinsett and Ecke, the US Congress in 2002 established National Poinsettia Day as December 12, the date of Poinsett’s death. By 2012, the industry had consolidated, and big box retailers began driving more and more business and making all sorts of demands on the poinsettia breeders. The Ecke family couldn’t keep up, so they sold out. So, there you have it, the interesting and somewhat disturbing story of the poinsettia. As this is a holiday column, I want to leave you with a final uplifting thought. According to Mexican popular culture, if you receive a poinsettia plant as a gift it will bring you good luck and prosperity. Here’s wishing that for all Letters readers this holiday season. ▼ Rich Barnett is the author of The Discreet Charms of a Bourgeois Beach Town, and Fun with Dick and James.

DECEMBER 15, 2023

25 Letters

health+wellness

BY SHARON MORGAN

Defying the Darkness “What makes night within us may leave stars.” - VICTOR HUGO

rowing up, no one in her family wanted to wake up my friend. She could make a lion’s paw’s swipe feel like butterfly kisses. As winter approached, the mood always grew darker and the snarls louder. I too sometimes would feel the bite, as she and I walked to the bus stop every day during high school. Moving to Michigan did not do my friend any favors. In that strange land of East Coast time zone Michigan, while the summers are luxuriously full of daylight, the winters are gloomier, longer. Only well into her thirties did my friend understand she suffered from seasonal affective disorder (SAD). As winter approaches, many people go through episodes of feeling sluggish or down. SAD, however, is a type of clinical depression characterized by a recurrent pattern that can last as long as five months. According to the National Institutes of Health, while the disorder can occur in warmer months, close to 90 percent of cases are diagnosed during the winter months, with an increased likelihood the further one moves away from the equator. In addition, although SAD is marked by a recurrent pattern, 3050 percent of those diagnosed may not show symptoms in consecutive winters. Women are overwhelmingly more likely to be diagnosed than men. Individuals diagnosed with SAD can exhibit a variety of symptoms such as decreased energy, difficulty concentrating, or changes in sleeping or eating routines. Individuals may express feelings of guilt, irritability, or hopelessness. Thoughts of death or suicide are not uncommon. Moreover, those with SAD often are diagnosed with other mental health issues including a panic or anxiety disorder, an eating disorder, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. SAD occurs in up to three percent of the general population, although researchers believe an additional 10 percent likely experience mild symptoms Letters 26

DECEMBER 15, 2023

that go undiagnosed. For those with other mental health issues, the percentages of SAD are even higher: up to 20 percent of those diagnosed with major depressive disorder and up to 25 percent with bipolar disorder also suffer from SAD.

…close to 90 percent of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) cases are diagnosed during the winter months. The causes of SAD are complex and not fully understood. Several studies indicate those with SAD, particularly winter-time SAD, have reduced levels of serotonin, which helps regulate mood. Shorter daylight hours and lower vitamin D levels also contribute to lower serotonin production. In addition, fluctuating estrogen levels impact serotonin production, which helps explain the preponderance of women being diagnosed with the disorder. Certain gene variants have been identified as associated with SAD, all of which thus far are related to circadian rhythm functioning. According to Harvard Medical researchers, circadian rhythms are controlled by multiple genes and are responsible for several important daily fluctuations, including body temperature, metabolism, digestion, and wakefulness. Individuals with SAD seem to have a disrupted sleep-wake cycle, resulting in sleep, mood, and behavior changes. A 2017 meta-analysis of observational studies of shift workers indicates up to 40 percent of shift workers were more likely to develop major depression than their daytime counterparts. In addition, regardless of type of work, those who wake up and go to sleep without routine exposure to sunlight are more likely to develop SAD. Since the 1980s, the cornerstone treatment for SAD has been photothera-

py. Light therapy is recommended daily, preferably in the morning to maximize its effect on melatonin production, which is involved in regulating sleep. Light therapy is also thought to enhance serotonin production. In conjunction with light therapy, monitoring vitamin D levels and supplementing if deficient can prove helpful. With or without light therapy, researchers indicate regular periods outdoors are beneficial not only from a light perspective, but exercise is also shown to boost mood and modulate circadian rhythm. Psychotherapy or counseling can help those with SAD rethink and change behavior contributing to depression. Specifically, cognitive behavior therapy has been shown to mitigate unhelpful behaviors associated with depression. Finally, short term antidepressant use, with or without psychotherapy, has proven useful for some individuals. Because SAD is a recurring disorder, preventive measures may prove useful over time. Introducing proven therapies early may lessen future episodes. In addition, focusing on thankfulness practices—journals, meditation, stress management—can help maintain a more positive outlook. Keeping up with social connections is beneficial for your overall mental health. Start a new hobby that involves others. Keep in regular contact with family and friends. Not only can they provide support, but they also may be key to recognizing if a depressive state is dangerous. Other generalized winter health tips also are recommended for those with SAD, including staying hydrated, avoiding alcohol and simple carbohydrates, and maintaining a routine sleep cycle. As we enter this season of lights, some will only see darkness. They say without darkness we would never see the stars. The trick then for those with SAD is to focus not on the gloom of night, but the stars, with their infinite possibilities. ▼ Sharon A. Morgan is a retired advanced practice nurse with over 30 years of clinical and healthcare policy background.

health+wellness

BY TARA SHELDON

Volunteering Promotes Well-being

s part of CAMP Rehoboth’s health and wellness program, we attend to the eight dimensions of well-being: emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual, environmental, physical, occupational, and financial. We host programs and services to address these eight dimensions. These dimensions of well-being intersect with the four pillars of CAMP Rehoboth (health and wellness, arts and culture, advocacy and education, and community engagement and outreach). Volunteerism is included in the community engagement and outreach pillar. Being a volunteer provides the opportunity to connect with people while making a difference for others. By participating in CAMP Rehoboth’s Community Outreach Program (CROP), individuals can volunteer at places such as the Delaware Food Bank, Cape Henlopen State Park, the botanical garden, the therapeutic riding center, or usher at a CAMP Rehoboth Chorus concert. Opportunities to volunteer at different locations are available 12 months a year, including the winter months. A new CROP volunteer, who recently moved to Delaware, shared, “Volunteering is a great way to make new friends and find people who share similar interests. I found it easy to do, I met some great people, and we socialized afterwards.” But volunteering is not only community engagement and outreach. Volunteering is intersectional—it also supports the health and wellness pillar. An article in the August 2023 Mayo Clinic Health System newsletter, Speaking of Health, identifies three specific health gains derived from volunteering: • Leads to better mental and physical health: people who volunteer

report better physical health than do non-volunteers. Research has shown that volunteering leads to lower rates of depression and anxiety, and to reduced stress. • Provides a sense of purpose and teaches new skills: especially when they are working to support organizations or activities they value and find meaningful, volunteers report higher levels of life satisfaction and self-esteem. • Nurtures new and existing relationships: volunteering helps people expand their social networks and build or deepen connections as they work with others in support of a common interest. Ready to leverage the benefits of volunteering—to yourself, as well as others? Browse our opportunities and sign up for something that fits at

camprehoboth.com/volunteers. We’d love to have you join us as CAMP Rehoboth works to serve our larger community. We all benefit. ▼ Youth Crisis Support: Crisis intervention services for children under 18. Parents and caregivers are connected to a crisis clinician. Available 24/7. Call 800-9694357 or text DE to 741-741. 988: Free, confidential support and resources for anyone in distress. Available 24/7. Call 988. Delaware Hope Line: Free coaching and support. Links to mental health, addiction, and crisis services. Available 24/7. Call 833-9-HOPEDE (833-946-7333).

LET’S STAY CONNECTED!

s we enter the winter months with shorter days and colder weather, it is important to stay connected. CAMP Rehoboth offers a wide range of Health and Wellness Programs, both online and in-person. The complete list is available on the CAMP Rehoboth website: camprehoboth.com/health. We encourage you to visit this site for up-to-date information on what we are offering—and when. ▼ DECEMBER 15, 2023

27 Letters

HERE COME THE MUMMERS

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Parading into 2024

he Mummers Parade in Philadelphia is one of the oldest folk festivals in the US (the first official version was in 1901). But early versions of Mummers were recorded as far back as ancient Egypt and Greece. European colonists brought the custom of visiting neighbors on “Second Day Christmas” (December 26) to the Philadelphia area. Participants, often in costume and with painted faces, visited neighbors and performed skits or poems such as: Here we stand before your door, as we stood the year before; Give us whiskey, give us gin, open the door and let us in. The word Mummer can be traced to Greek mythology. Momus was the personification of satire, mockery, and censure. Other versions of the word include the late Middle English word mommer and the Old French word momeur. Each relates to miming, masking, and performing plays.

Strutting Off Track

Although mockery has long been part of the Mummer tradition, some have taken it as a green light for displays

of racism and homophobia. Blackface wasn’t officially banned until 1964 and still continued to appear sporadically— the 2015 parade included mummers in blackface, with signs mocking the Black Lives Matter movement. In 2016, Finnegan New Year’s Brigade centered their act around Bruce Jenner’s gender transition. Pictures of Caitlyn Jenner on a Froot Loops box accompanied by the Aerosmith song “Dude (Looks Like a Lady)” was bad enough, but a Finnegan member was caught on video shouting “F--- the gays! F--- the gays!” In a report

In 2013, the Miss Fancy Brigade added drag kings and actually marched in the parade.

Above, Miss Fancy Brigade. Photo Patrick Hagerty Photography. Left, Miss Fancy Brigade. Photo courtesy of Ian Morrison. Right, the Woodland String Band from Philadelphia, a popular participant in the Sea Witch Parade. Photo: Nancy Sakaduski.

Letters 28 DECEMBER 15, 2023

by NBC Channel 10 in Philadelphia, John Holtz, who is gay, said he was walking his parents’ Shih Tzu when he came upon four Mummers. The men, displaying red, white, and blue dresses, face paint, and no sense of irony, began hurling homophobic slurs and later attacked him. That same year, the Sammar Strutters’ “Siesta Fiesta” act included members in brownface and dressed in sombreros and ponchos or taco costumes. The Philadelphia Human Relations Commission stepped in to address the issue. Three hundred leaders representing the 10,000-member organization attended sessions to receive sensitivity training and discuss changes to the group’s charter and rules for the parade.

Miss Fancy Brigade: The Only All-LGBTQ+ Mummers Brigade

According to Ian Morrison, a former editorial assistant at the Philadelphia Gay News who also performs as Drag Queen Brittany Lynn, LGBTQ+ presence has been part of the Mummers Parade since the early 1920s. Then, drag queens led the parade and were treated as celebrities. (Women weren’t allowed to march until the 1980s, but men in drag were part of the parade for decades.) There was even a separate category for female impersonators at one point (prizes were given). That phased out in the 1980s. In 2011, Ian was asked by city officials and representatives from the Mummers to

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Contact Us Today to Learn More! help them bring the LGBTQ+ community back to the parade. Ian got some of Philadelphia’s drag queens together to participate as the Miss Fancy Brigade. They were asked to perform between the other brigade performances at the convention center. Ian recalls having to follow groups that had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on their acts. The drag queens performed while machines cleaned the floor behind them during each break. In 2013, the Miss Fancy Brigade added drag kings and actually marched in the parade. The following year, they added transgender participants. Ian says visibility was key. “Imagine you’re eight years old and you’re gay and you’re not out, and you see this whole group of your tribe… that’s a huge reason why we do it.” That year the parade route was changed. It was a controversial decision and tempers were high. The Miss Fancy Brigade was at the head of the parade. Ian recalls seeing a group of guys barrel-

ing toward them. “I’m over seven feet tall in drag and I can fight—I’m from South Philly—so I’m ready for this.” As the men crossed the street and came closer, Ian (in drag as Brittany Lynn) said, “Girls, get ready to rumble.” But instead of fighting, the leader of the group said, “thank you so much for helping to keep this tradition alive,” shook hands with the drag queens, and took photos with them. It was a great moment, but unfortunately it was followed by the racist and

homophobic actions in 2016. Ian played an important role in the meetings with representatives from the city and the brigades. He says, “I could hear people saying this needs to happen, in order for our tradition to continue.” The changes eliminated racist and homophobic representations. “The Miss Fancy Brigade was a huge part of that,” says Ian, “because we were the liaisons of the minority communities to the Mummer group.” The Miss Fancy Brigade has not marched since the pandemic and Ian doesn’t know if they will ever march again. He says, “I feel like we did our part and made that major change that we sought out to do by marching in the first place.” ▼ Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

WANT TO LEARN MORE? → Visit the Mummers Museum, 1100 S 2nd St., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, mummersmuseum.org. → Miss Fancy Brigade on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4IYo-aokqE DECEMBER 15, 2023

29 Letters

It’s My Life

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

Haul Out the Holly

’all. It’s December. Already. I don’t know how this happened. I distinctly remember boxing Christmas up at the end of last year and thinking it would be a good long time before I had to take all eight million ornaments back out of their individual, labelled boxes again. And now the tree is up and I’m sitting here obsessively checking the postal service website to see when the things I ordered for the holidays will arrive. Every year around this time I make a list of goals for the coming year. I also look at last year’s list to see how many things I’ve managed to accomplish. I never cross everything off, but usually I manage to get a few things done. This year? Dear readers, out of 14 writing goals I made for 2023, I have accomplished not a single one. I’ve accomplished other things with my writing, but none of the things I planned to do. I did slightly better on my non-writing goals, where I managed to cross three things off my list. We won’t talk about the dozen or so things that remain undone. I’ll just move those onto the 2024 list and pretend 2023 never happened. Again, I have no idea where all the time went. I have vague memories of spring arriving, and then a leisurely, pleasant summer. Then, suddenly, fall was banging on the door and Halloween and Thanksgiving apparently happened all at once. Now Christmas is looming and I still have a half-bag of trick-or-treat candy sitting on the kitchen counter. I guess I’ll put it all in the Santa cookie jar I hauled out of storage for the season. I don’t have very distinct memories of last Christmas, or the one before that. But Christmas 2020 is a different story. That one was a tense affair, what with the presidential election hanging in the balance and, you know, a bunch of people trying very hard to destroy democracy. I remember wondering what the new year would bring and then, eventually, breathing a little more easily and thinking, “We won’t have to do this again for four years.” Letters 30 DECEMBER 15, 2023

Now three of those years have raced by and here we are, about to step into another election year and another period of worry and uncertainty and seemingly endless stress over whether our system will hold or fail. This time next year will

Christmas is looming and I still have a half-bag of trickor-treat candy sitting on the kitchen counter. it all be over, with a clear outcome? Or will things be even more uncertain? To paraphrase Eartha Kitt’s wish list, “Santa baby, I don’t need diamonds or a fur coat, just votes, 270 please.” I try not to obsess over it, but it’s in my nature to worry. And, of course, our upcoming election is far from the only distressing thing happening in the world. During what should be a time of peace and rejoicing, so many of us are instead fearful and angry and utterly unsure what the new year will bring. And yet. I started playing Christmas music today, beginning with Ella Fitzgerald’s Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas. I addressed a stack of Christmas cards. I pulled out the wrapping paper and hung the stockings. Next weekend we’re

going to the Yuletide Village at the Ohio Renaissance Festival, where I’m looking forward to meeting Krampus. And speaking of him, Krampusnacht is coming, as well as the Winter Solstice, two of my favorite celebrations. I’m trying to be merry and bright. Donning gay apparel and fa-la-la-lalaing. I’ve pulled out my favorite holiday movies (Bell, Book and Candle and Rare Exports) and queued up the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have vague plans about making gingerbread cookies, although I’ll probably end up settling for getting a couple of bags of pfeffernusse from Aldi. I’ve always struggled with allowing myself to be happy in the face of reasons not to be, and there are plenty of those to go around. But I also know that sometimes shining a light in the darkness can help, especially if it combines with other lights. There are so many terrible things I can do nothing about. But there are others that I can. I can donate to causes and issues I want to help with. I can volunteer my time. I can work to make my own life one that reflects the world I want to live in. This year as I prepare to write up my list of goals for 2024, I’ll put the usual writing-oriented ones on there. I’ll also add “try to remember that you can’t change the world, but you can change your world” and “it’s okay to be happy” on there. Whether I can cross those off as accomplishments next December remains to be seen. In the meantime, if you’re one of the folks like me who is having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit, know that you’re not alone. Also know that it’s okay not to feel jolly, or even to feel downright Scroogey about the whole affair. But should you need a little Christmas now, I’ll save you a couple of pfeffernusse and a glass of nog. ▼ Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary award-winning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com. Photo credit: Quin Engle on Unsplash

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31 Letters

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33 Letters

Words Matter

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

The Gift of Words

hen I finished graduate school, it took me quite some time to land a fulltime job. At first, I lived off my savings and money I earned from a few speaking engagements coupled with whatever I could bring in from freelance writing projects. Thankfully, an older gay man who was familiar with me from volunteering at LGBT events learned that I needed some help and offered me the chance to work several hours a week at a nonprofit he ran. Throughout college I’d interned with a nonprofit organization back home and gained experience in their fundraising department. I knew the fundamentals of processing donations, maintaining a donor database, grant writing, collecting and synthesizing information for grant reports, and putting together mailings. In the early 2000s, that was most of what you needed to know to be an assistant in a fundraising office. I was grateful to be picking up 12 to 15 hours of steady work each week with a flexible schedule that allowed me time to apply for fulltime work and go on interviews. I also enjoyed being able to work at an organization with an important mission that I felt strongly about— connecting economically disadvantaged men and women living with HIV/AIDS with services and resources to improve their quality of life. Our clients were marginalized by society but committed to not letting that stop them from living their best lives. To be a small part of that was an honor. Working alongside a talented and passionate group of people was another bonus. One colleague stood out. He was in his late 50s, from the Midwest, and a minister. Not only was he the kindest soul, he had a little soul to him too that you’d not necessarily expect if you judged the record strictly based on the album cover. I spent lots of time chatting with him and he was the first—and to this date, the only—person who called me Clancy. I learned from him that it was common in some places for boys and men named Clarence to be called Clancy. The genuineness in the way that he said it always made me smile. Eventually, I got a fulltime job offer and my time to leave the nonprofit was approaching. It was just

A holiday letter connects you and it’s truly a gift you can give everyone. Words matter. Perhaps more than you know.

Letters 34 DECEMBER 15, 2023

before Christmas and my dear colleague asked if we could stay in touch. I gave him my phone number and email address. He nudged me to give him my mailing address too. I figured maybe he’d send me a fancy holiday card. What I got was even better. He added me to his annual holiday end-of-theyear-letter list. I was young and wasn’t familiar with this tradition by some folks to pen an actual letter to their friends and family to provide a recap of their year and hopes for the next. It was beautiful. For the next several years, even if we never saw each other or talked by phone, I knew that sometime in December I’d be getting a letter from him. I cherished such a personal way of him sharing his memories of the year, but also knowing that he still remembered me. He battled a series of health challenges and transitioned to the afterlife on a spring day not long ago. My heart sank when I heard the news. I said a prayer. Seasons changed and when the first December after his passing arrived, I recall thinking that it would be the first time in many years that I wouldn’t be reading a letter about him and getting caught up on the activities of his family. I was wrong, though. His family knew how important that tradition was and decided to keep it alive. The nephew who he would often write about was now the one doing the writing. With new breath and energy, the letters continued to keep everyone on that list abreast of the family and what hopes and dreams the next generation was living out. In a time when it feels like everyone’s schedules are so full and it’s hard to connect with some family, friends, old neighbors, and people from your extended community, a holiday letter can be such a moving treat. It allows you to dig a little deeper and share more than you might on a social media post. It pushes the reader to sit down with it and take their time instead of just scrolling right past it. A holiday letter connects you and it’s truly a gift you can give everyone. Words matter. Perhaps more than you know. ‘Tis the season to get typing! ▼ Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Instagram: @Mr_CJFluker

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35 Letters

Out & About

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

Inspired by Reel Events

t’s that time of year again. Holiday lights on the porch, a big wreath on the door, and Mariah Carey wanting nothing for Christmas but you. But my favorite holiday tradition has little to do with snowflakes, decorated trees, or nativity scenes. It’s Oscar bait time. Because memories are short, most film studios like to wait until November and December to release the movies they want to push for the year’s major awards. Now, I love a good silly comedy or action blood-pumper as much as the next guy. But like a bear looking for a place to nap, I’ve been conditioned to look for more serious fare when the weather starts to cool. One of the tropes of Oscar bait season is undeniably the biopic— inspired (often loosely) by real people who did amazing things, a good biopic can offer period detail, an opportunity for a supremely talented actor to chew the scenery with abandon, and (if you’re lucky) a good history lesson to boot. Since this holiday season finds me at home with a brand-new puppy and hesitant to visit the local multiplex, I’m pleased that many Oscar hopefuls are now being produced by streaming services and are available for viewing at home. This year, Netflix subscribers can watch two of the year’s queerest biopics: Nyad and Rustin. Nyad features four-time Oscar nominee Annette Bening as the titular Diana Nyad, a marathon swimmer who completed a 53-hour swim from Havana, Cuba to Key West, Florida in 2013 after four failed attempts. When she made her first attempt, she was 28 years old. When she finally succeeded, she was 64. Obviously, the film is designed to be inspiring, especially for those of us (cough, cough) of a certain age, who might be tempted to put some of our unfulfilled dreams out to pasture. And while it succeeds to a certain extent, what I principally learned from Nyad was that pioneers with a singular vision can be a real pain in the ass. Letters 36 DECEMBER 15, 2023

Throughout the film, Diana Nyad is presented as driven, stubborn, selfimportant, and not so much focused on her dream but obsessed with it. Moreover, while the film stresses the idea that no great person ever accomplished great things completely on their own, Diana is a woman who continually takes her team for granted,

This year, Netflix subscribers can watch two of the year’s queerest biopics: Nyad and Rustin. repaying their devotion to her “destiny” with tantrums and zero concern for their health and welfare (although, in her defense, she doesn’t place much value on her own health or welfare, either). While I appreciated that directors Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, and screenwriter Julia Cox didn’t attempt to canonize their subject into movie sainthood, it became difficult to root for Diana after a while. Indeed, if not for Jodie Foster’s equally compelling performance as Bonnie, Diana’s best friend and coach, I might have given up on the film, well-made though it is. Something I did appreciate was the effort to make very clear to the audience that Diana Nyad was a lesbian. At the beginning of the film, she mentions that she and Bonnie dated “about a thousand years ago” and there’s an awkward scene where she converses with another single lesbian at Bonnie’s urging (but, tellingly, can’t stop talking about herself). While nothing else in the story hinges upon Nyad’s queer identity and it could easily have been erased, it’s a win for visibility. Queer sexuality is far more front and center in Rustin, featuring Colman

Domingo in a brilliant turn as Bayard Rustin, architect of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, still remembered today for Dr. Martin Luther King’s stirring “I Have a Dream” speech. An out gay man for at least a decade prior to the March (because of an arrest for “sex perversion” in 1953), Rustin was relegated to the background in the heyday of the civil rights movement. But watching the film, you can feel director George C. Wolfe and screenwriters Julian Breece and Dustin Lance Black pulling the gaze of history back to Bayard, giving him his rightful due 36 years after his death. While it’s probably unfair to compare them, when I weigh Nyad’s singular vision of a swim through the Florida straits against Rustin’s goal—the largest peaceful protest in American history in pursuit of racial justice—the latter just feels more important, more worthy of sacrifice, and a lot easier to root for. And in Bayard’s case, his antagonists aren’t his devoted friends, but fellow activists (principally Jeffrey Wright as Rep. Adam Clayton Powell and Chris Rock as NAACP leader Roy Wilkins) who want Rustin to resign and deny the movement his gifts because of their own homophobia. And while Bayard has moments of swagger, here they feel wholly earned. And, if the whole enterprise weren’t gay enough, there’s a small but memorable appearance by icon Audra McDonald as Ella Baker. In a pivotal, early scene, she breaks through Rustin’s ego and convinces him to reconnect with Dr. King, who had disappointed him some years earlier. And the rest, as they say, is history. ▼ Eric Peterson is Interim Managing Editor of Amble Press, a novelist (Loyalty, Love & Vermouth), and a diversity, equity, and inclusion practitioner. In his spare time, he hosts a podcast, The Rewind Project.

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37 Letters

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMASES PAST

BY PATTIE CINELLI

Moving On

once bargained with co-workers and juggled vacation days to get as much time off as possible before Christmas. Even when I lived in Hawaii, I braved the 6,000 miles across four time zones to land in my hometown of White Plains, New York, in time to join in the frenetic contagious energy I loved that filled my modest working-class home weeks before the holidays. We followed old traditions and created new ones. We baked a ton of Italian Christmas cookies to share as we traveled around the county visiting great aunts and uncles, cousins, and family friends. I helped my dad string lights and I helped my mom decorate the house. We always got a real Christmas tree. I was surprised every year by the bottles of liquor that lined the floor of my parents’ closet, lost loves of Christmases long-ago past. Even though my dad didn’t drink, the bottles kept coming, tokens of his men’s appreciation of him as a union official. We always had extra plates and extra food ready for the people who would show up uninvited yet so welcome into our home. What I loved most about Christmastime on Archer Avenue was the food. When my Italian grandma was alive, she directed the dinner of seven fishes on Christmas Eve that included her making stuffed baccala (cod) only my dad would eat. Our Christmas seven-course dinners began at noon with antipasto and cocktails, usually Manhattans for the women and martinis for the men. No one ever got tipsy because we ate vast amounts of food that obliterated any remnants of ethanol deriving from the cocktails. Our Christmas dinner lasted for hours. After antipasto, we had homemade chicken soup, then homemade pasta and tomato sauce, then turkey, gravy, and stuffing. The next course was an assortment of nuts and fruit and liquors I was told would help us digest better. I especially enjoyed the amaretto and anisette. The grand meal ended about 5:00 p.m. with a table crowded with baked pies, cakes, and serving plates jammed with miniature napoleons, cream puffs, eclairs, Letters 38 DECEMBER 15, 2023

and assorted pastries from Pellegrino’s, the Italian bakery down the street. Friends and relatives called to ask, “What course are you at?” They each had their favorites. Later that evening my father often relaxed (a rare sight) in his

My memories of the joy Christmastime once brought me got swallowed up by the grief that stuck to me… living room chair, listening to Christmas music by Frank, Dean, Doris, or Bing, played on the cherished stereo console. I felt secure, happy, and a part of something very special. Even though during the rest of the year there could be arguments, yelling, and discontent, the holidays were always a magical time for my family. Christmas as I knew it ended on December 26, 1984. My father had a massive fatal heart attack at Kennedy Airport. He was 59. For the next couple years my mother, brother, and I tried to replicate the meal. With just three of us, it wasn’t the same. I even attempted a real tree in my 750-square foot home. It towered over the sparse space, providing a gigantic toy for my cats.

I forgot how to enjoy that time of the year. After my mom died, I just gave up. The holiday season became a time to take a deep breath and pray for it to be over soon. I became the afterthought or what I called the ‘pity invitation’ when some friends discovered me entrenched in my own pity party at home alone. My brother had gotten married and had created a ‘new’ family into which I didn’t fit. My memories of the joy Christmastime once brought me got swallowed up by the grief that stuck to me like sap from a tree. No matter how much I scrubbed it still lingered. What I didn’t realize was that trying to replicate my family traditions was impossible. Eventually, I began to see that I needed to create how I felt, not what I did. Joni Mitchell’s words from “The Circle Game” inspired me: “We can’t return, we can only look behind from where we came.” I had been trying to replicate the actions, instead of remembering the feelings and emotions those actions evoked within me. I missed acceptance, excitement, joy, inclusion, and love. I missed feeling important and welcome. This year for the first time since 1990 I put up a Christmas tree. It’s nothing like my trees of the past but I like it. In fact, I like it so much I bought a second one, a five-foot skinny artificial green-and-red gaudy tree that folds into a tiny square cardboard box and lights up. A clouded lens seems to have dissolved from my vision this year. My brother’s coming and I’m not sure how we will celebrate. But I know my mourning days are finally over. I’m moving on. ▼ Pattie Cinelli is a writer and fitness professional who loves her age. She focuses on ways to stay healthy, get fit, and get well. Please email her with questions or column suggestions at: fitmiss44@aol.com. Photo: Morgane Le Breton on Unsplash

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

39 Letters

MENTORING

BY KIM HOEY STEVENSON

Be a Game-Changer

n the journey of life, having a mentor can be a game-changer for students, providing them with an invaluable resource—a positive adult role model who offers guidance, support, and a listening ear. In the Cape Henlopen School District, the Creative Mentoring program recognizes the importance of this mentor-student connection and seeks to bridge the gap by inviting caring adults to step into the role of mentor. In just one half-hour per week during the school year, you can make a profound impact on a young person’s life. For students, navigating the complexities of school and life can be challenging. Beyond academics, they may face personal, social, or emotional hurdles that can be overwhelming. Having a mentor can provide a safe space for them to discuss their concerns, seek advice, and receive the encouragement they need to overcome obstacles. Studies performed by the National Institutes of Health on mentoring show that children with mentors often have better attendance, better attitudes toward school, better grades, and higher self-esteem. “Mentoring is fun. Just having somebody to talk to,” said Neveah, a Mariner Middle School student and mentee. This sentiment captures the essence of the mentor-student relationship—a connection that goes beyond textbooks and classrooms. Mentors serve as positive adult role models, showing students what it means to lead a responsible, successful life. They offer support, guidance, and a sense of belonging, helping students build self-confidence, make informed decisions, and develop the skills necessary to reach their full potential. The Creative Mentoring program in the Cape Henlopen School District recognizes the transformative power of mentorship and actively encourages community members to get involved. With openings in every school in the district, potential mentors have the flexibility

Letters 40 DECEMBER 15, 2023

to choose the age group they wish to mentor. Whether it’s elementary, middle, or high school students, the program is child-based, meaning mentors can cater their guidance to the unique needs and interests of the student.

As the mentor, I feel very fortunate to have time to spend with a child and hear about his life and thoughts. Kim Hoey Stevenson, the district mentor coordinator, emphasizes the simplicity of the commitment required: just a halfhour per week during the school year. This small investment of time can yield immense dividends for both the mentor and the student. Mentors have the opportunity to positively influence a young person’s life, while students benefit from having an additional caring adult who genuinely listens and cares about their well-being. “I really enjoyed having a mentor this year. My mentor helped me with some of my anxiety, my ADHD, and how to communicate better with others,” said Lincoln, also a middle school student at Mariner Middle School. He’d have lunch with his mentor at the school and then play UNO or draw together. These activities created a bond but also provided a platform for meaningful conversations and support. The program doesn’t just benefit students, though. “I love mentoring for many reasons,”

said Cate Wilkes, a life coach who mentors at the Cape Henlopen High School. “I raised my son as a single mom and know first-hand the importance of building a network of good people who could be a positive influence in my son’s life. Mentoring provides an opportunity to give back for the many blessings and lessons I’ve learned in my life.” Wilkes’s experience highlights the reciprocal nature of mentorship. While mentors guide and support students, they, too, gain fulfillment and valuable insights from the experience. Craig Warrington, a mentor and homeless student liaison for the Cape district, believes the program is a win for local employers, too. “I’ve been involved with mentoring for many years,” said Warrington. “People say how nice this is for the kids and how we help them. Very true, but there is another side. It is a win-win situation. As the mentor, I feel very fortunate to have time to spend with a child and hear about his life and thoughts. Such a nice break from the job and day-to-day operations. I encourage all employers to allow their staff to mentor. They will return refreshed and excited.” In a world where students face various pressures and uncertainties, having a mentor can be a lifeline. Through the Creative Mentoring program, you can be that guiding light in a young person’s life, helping them navigate the ups and downs of their educational journey with confidence and resilience. Your commitment of just one half-hour a week can have a lasting impact that shapes their future for the better. As one mentee put it, “It’s an overall fun time.” ▼ For more information contact Kim Hoey Stevenson at: Mentoring@Cape.K12.de.us or call her at 302-703-3522. capehenlopenschools. com/domain/506. Photo: ChayTee

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

41 Letters

ANIMAL FARM(S)

BY MARY JO TARALLO

Goats and Alpacas (no Llamas)—Oh, My!

magine yourself doing “down dog” on your yoga mat snuggled in the grass on a beautiful sunny day. Then you feel a presence on your back, like four little hooves that almost seem like a strange massage. Think you are dreaming? Welcome to Goat Yoga! Goat Joy on Beaver Dam Road in Harbeson is one of many goat yoga locations throughout the US but it is the only one in Delaware. It is run by the Ritter family. Animal therapy studies have shown that spending time with animals can provide numerous benefits such as stress relief, lowered blood pressure, relaxation, and mood elevation, according to the Goat Joy web site. Studies have shown that interacting with animals reduces cortisol (the stress hormone) while simultaneously increasing serotonin and dopamine (hormones that trigger happiness). Goats are curious and playful animals that can add an element of joy and happiness to various activities including yoga, according to Laura Ritter. The animals are free to roam around a yoga class where they can mingle with participants, but you don’t have to take a yoga class to interact

Think of it this way: goat yoga combines the tranquility of yoga with the entertaining presence of goats. with the goats. Goat Joy hosts goat socials where visitors can simply “hang out” with a variety of goats for an hour. While the regular season for yoga classes is April through October, socials can be scheduled outside that timeframe. The Ritters launched Goat Joy in 2015 when daughter Amanda brought home the first goat as a two-hour-old bottle baby. She was a junior at Cape Henlopen High School, and the experience was part of her Future Farmers of America project. The family fell in love with the animal, according to Laura. Goats are herd animals, so the family decided that they needed more! “That Letters 42 DECEMBER 15, 2023

first year we purchased four more to be her companions,” she says. “Then some of those companions were adults that we bred for the next spring leading us to have 12 the next season.” When Amanda enrolled at the University of Delaware, the Ritters decided to do goat yoga as a fundraiser for her sorority’s philanthropy project, “We did three classes in our front yard as a onetime event,” said Laura. “We kept getting requests to keep doing goat yoga as an ongoing thing.” For a session, the Ritters bring a group of their youngest and most playful goats into a grassy, fenced-in area on their property. They supply the yoga mats and have a certified yoga instructor lead a light practice suitable for all levels of experience. Think of it this way: goat yoga combines the tranquility of yoga with the entertaining presence of goats. The baby goats’ natural curiosity prompts them to interact with the guests. The babies often will snuggle up with guests on their mat. The yoga is optional. Visitors can follow along or choose to sit on a yoga mat and play with the babies. “it’s all about the experience and you relaxing and enjoying yourself and the babies,” Laura says. Goats apparently make excellent pets since they typically require minimal

maintenance, and they bring much peace, love, and joy. Their veterinary needs are low compared to those of cats and dogs. Their feed and upkeep are relatively cheap in comparison as well. Not far from Goat Joy, in Frankford, is the Four Acres Living—an alpaca farm. The name is a bit of a misnomer since the farm is spread out over 15 acres. It is a working farm founded in 2015 by Elizabeth (Liz) Ferguson and her husband, Jose Palma. They were a on driving tour of Oregon and Washington and kept running across alpaca farms and thought it seemed like a beautiful lifestyle and a way to stay active in this next phase of life. “We really didn’t think we’d actually do anything about alpacas when we got home—but two weeks later, we purchased five females, two of which were pregnant,” Elizabeth says. “From there, things grew.” They also outgrew their four-acre home in Selbyville. Alpacas are part of the camelid family along with llamas and camels. Look one square in the eye and you will see a little puffball face that always seems to be smiling. Like goats, they are herd animals. Alpacas are curious animals too but also somewhat skittish around humans. They often dart away. Offering an alpaca food is best way to get one to cozy up to you. Four Acres

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to Elaine Heinlein who works at the farm, the farm staff all secretly have favorites and are always happy to share the story. Ferguson and Palma say they are passionate in their approach to maintaining the highest quality standards for the animals. Their website states that they breed their alpacas “thoughtfully, sustainably, and specifically for the quality and softness of their fiber.” Llamas and alpacas sometimes are mistaken for the same animal, but they are very different. An alpaca’s average weight is 150 pounds while a llama’s average weight is 400 pounds. Llamas have long snouts that stick out, compared to the smooshed-in puffball faces of alpacas. Alpacas have short, pointed ears while llama ears are longer and more rounded. Llamas’ fiber is not as soft. Alpaca fiber is also softer, warmer, and stronger than sheep’s wool. It’s hypoallergenic so people who are allergic to wool can wear alpaca. Because it’s lighter you don’t need bulk to stay warm, according to Elizabeth. “It’s thermoregulating so you don’t overheat or get cold wearing it,” she says. “It’s also moisture wicking and water repelling. It’s a fantastic, sustainable, eco-friendly fiber.”

Four Acres Living offers educational tours and alpaca walks every week, Friday-Sunday. Visitors learn about alpacas and the contributions they make. Tours are entirely indoors in the farm’s large, new barn so lend themselves to a rainyday activity. Walks are outdoors and take place even during light rain or snow. The farm’s new alpaca boutique offers items— such as hats and gloves—for sale. Four Acres Living participates in community events such as the Rehoboth Beach Holiday Farmer’s Market, the Lewes Holiday Village and Market, and the Alpaca Adventure at the Bethany Beach Nature Center. One more thing! If you ever thought of purchasing alpacas but are new to them, Ferguson and Palma can, and will, help with a list of supplies and resources to get you started. Why? They LOVE these smiley animals. ▼ Mary Jo Tarallo is a former journalist and public relations professional for various non-profits including a ski industry trade association. She won a Gold Award for a United Way TV program starring Oprah Winfrey. DECEMBER 15, 2023

43 Letters

REHOBOTH REFLECTIONS

BY CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Summer of ‘97

’ve been thinking about the summer of 1997 a lot, lately. Logically, I know it was a fleeting span of days; a blip on a timeline over the course of my 43 years. However, that summer in Rehoboth Beach was transformational and would prepare me for the adventure my life has become. In those three months, I would learn the value of diversity, the power of community, and the impact of a safe space where being one’s authentic self was celebrated. It all started with getting a job offer, via a handwritten note. It was left under the windshield wiper of my car by a local shop owner. In hindsight, he must have been creepily familiar with my comings and goings, and apparently my favorite parking spot. I didn’t interview for the job. I just marched down the second block of Baltimore Avenue to this tiny, queer boutique and agreed to a job selling swimsuits and t-shirts. I was paid cash, and I worked nights. For the 16-year-old version of me, it was perfect. I was independent, headstrong, and tenacious. I was also naive, reckless, and horribly unsure of my place in the world. I knew where I didn’t belong, though. The town where I grew up was simple, and comfortable with sameness. My peer group in Milford reveled in the glory of high school antics and hanging out in shopping center parking lots. I had other plans. Whenever I could, I escaped to the beach. When I was in Rehoboth, I felt like I was safe, and seen. My bleached hair, black-painted nails, and Salvation Army-chic style blended nicely with the band of locals. The job was easy, and the owners’ expectations were clear: answer the phone, loudly play upbeat music, don’t steal money, and be cute. I was good on all fronts. I spent most of the time, though, perched on the front steps watching the world around me. This was the first time I was around so many other LGBTQ+ people. They came in all shapes and sizes, varying in age, levels of tans, and types of clothes, beliefs, abilities, and personalities. I met lawyers, clergy, retired teachers, throuples, artists, and even other teenagers like me. Finally, I was around people who understood some level of the queer experience. Looking back, I now know how affirming that must have been, though I didn’t yet have the life experience to appreciate it. From my perch across from the Blue Moon, I learned about the power of community. In the small town Rehoboth Beach was in those days, the network

This was the first time I could be myself, without trying.

Letters 44 DECEMBER 15, 2023

of commerce, relationships, and history were all vital to the ecosystem. This was reflected in the businesses owned by other LGBTQ+ folk: the Coffee Mill, Critter Beach, The Renegade, The Double L, Cloud 9, and Mark Showell Interiors. They all knew each other. They gossiped, griped, and competed. But they also seemed to understand that the sum of their parts ensured the future of the town they all called home. It was on that same perch, clutching the portable phone, that I made friends. While naturally an introvert, something about that summer helped me be a bit bolder. I became pals with a scrappy crew: Billy, Phil, Dwayne, and Jerry. I also made friends with a guy named John who had just graduated from James Madison University. He had red hair and knew who Sarah McLachlan was. I was now surrounded by people whose identities mirrored mine. We shared similar life experiences, and were shaped by pop culture, regional traditions, school-based bullying, and a complex need to remain safe and live outloud. This was the first time I could be myself, without trying. For a moment it must have all seemed so perfect. While I remember how the summer started, I don’t remember how it ended, though I know it must have been rushed. I would soon return to high school, and within a year would move out, escape to university, and figure out how to be an adult. My little friend group went their own ways, and time carried on. Twenty-six years later, those experiences hold incredible meaning for me. I still enjoy the company of diverse groups of people whose views and experiences aren’t a carbon copy of mine. I remain cognizant of community, and the importance of relationships as they relate to business and the health of a community. And I try my hardest to show up every day as myself. I still flinch from fear in spaces where I worry being openly queer will work against me, but I keep going. Whenever I come home to visit my family in Milford, I always make time for a drive to Rehoboth, where I go back to that perch and sit for a few minutes. The second block of Baltimore Avenue has changed, and so have I. But the feeling remains, and the experiences of the summer of 1997 remain vivid in my memory. They are also reflected in the way I Iive my life. ▼ Christopher Moore is Interim Executive Director of AIDS Delaware. He loves NPR, naughty jokes, and a man who lives in Toronto. Email him at moore.cc@gmail.com.

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45 Letters

Dining Out

BY FAY JACOBS

JAM Bistro for the Win!

t was a dark and stormy night when Bonnie and I went to dine at JAM Bistro at 210 Second Street in Rehoboth. It’s the same JAM Bistro that had been holding forth on Baltimore Avenue (just East of Eden) for years. The move to Second Street allows for a bigger, more comfortable restaurant with the same cozy warmth of the original JAM. The weather kept the crowds away, but there were enough folks dining that the place had a friendly, warm vibe. Our host, Ryan, managing the evening for owners Mark Hunker and Jeff McCracken, set out to give us a taste of JAM’s specialties. It’s interesting— I’d just read a food column online talking about how people can enhance their dining experiences by going with others and sampling more than one appetizer and entrée. And I find that’s true. Often, we go out with other diners and share all manner of delicious goodies. That’s why our JAM experience was just great. Ryan told us about two appetizers special to JAM, the Salmon Tartar and the Edamame Guacamole with house made tortilla chips. The guac recipe, which came about because of Mark Hunker’s allergy to avocado, is sensational. And the house-made chips are a treat as well. The Salmon Tartar with dill, crème fraîche, cucumbers, and pomegranate seeds is adventurous and delicious. Our third appetizer sample, JAM’s special Baked Truffle Mac ‘n Cheese, is a rich, creamy pasta with toasty crunchy Parmesan, and a Cheez-it crust. Seriously, Cheez-its, the little square snack I cannot resist. Really great. Oh, we accompanied the appetizer selections with a Berry Bliss Cosmo for me, created from houseinfused mixed berry vodka, Triple Sec, lime, and a splash of cran. Loved it! Bon sipped a traditional Johnny Walker Red, neat. JAM offers a host of infused vodkas for mixology fans. Luckily, the first two apps were smaller portions for our tasting, but the mac ‘n cheese overflowed its baking dish. “Sorry, we have only one dish for this!” said Ryan, knowing we were trying hard for moderation.

Letters 46 DECEMBER 15, 2023

Following our apps, we enjoyed a taste of the excellent Beet and Cashew Salad, warming up for the entrées. Ryan brought us samples of the Pork Tenderloin Cassoulet with great northern white beans, smoked kielbasa, and bacon, with a balsamic reduction. I could easily have been on the ChampsÉlysées in Paris. But traveling quickly to Nola’s Bourbon Street we then tasted Chorizo Shrimp and Grits, bringing the full flavor of New Orleans to Second Street. The third entrée we sampled, remarkable Cherry Cola-Braised Boneless Short Ribs with asparagus and Gorgonzola mashers, totally sent us over the edge. And I have to tell you, we were enjoying every morsel of this as we kept one eye on the big TV in the bar for reports of the Eagles game. We’d watched the first half at home and were delighted that our JAM seating kept us at least adjacent to the action. Ryan and the bartenders kept reporting TDs to our table. We tried our best with the Key Lime Pie (with homemade strawberry JAM jam) for dessert but could only manage a bite each. Really tasty! A winner. And speaking of winners, JAM does it with their cuisine and ambiance. I love the old porch seating overlooking Second Street, a favorite of mine from the days the restaurant was the late, lamented Chez La Mer. And with a nod to nostalgia, wait staff at JAM wear shirts saying Chez La JAM on the back!

The third entrée we sampled, remarkable Cherry Cola-Braised Boneless Short Ribs with asparagus and Gorgonzola mashers, totally sent us over the edge. Did somebody say winners? By the time we finished dinner, dessert, and all dining and festivities, the football game had a minute and a half to go. Amazingly, the Eagles tied it up and the game hit overtime. We stood at the bar with several staff members and another guest, too nervous to sit, chewing our nails until the Eagles’ quarterback, Jalen Hurts, won the game by running in for a touchdown. It was a delicious win, a delicious dinner, and a great dark and stormy night at JAM Bistro! Go for a glorious dinner (or lunch or brunch)—you’ll be glad you did. ▼

DECEMBER 15, 2023

47 Letters

Visiting View

BY ROBERT DOMINIC

Seasons Change

reetings Letters readers—Robby from Fort Lauderdale—back, back, back again. (Drag Race UK Finale dropping as I write this—Team Ginger Johnson, although I think Tomara is too iconic not to win.) Sorry if I bummed many of you out with last month’s column, which detailed my not-so-smooth past few months newly living in the Sunshine State. It was a tough transition—tougher than I imagined it would be—BUT I am more than happy, overjoyed even, to be able to tell all of you that the tide has finally turned. August and September here were HOT AF. Like “standing on the sun” hot. And many queer residents pack up and leave during that time. I have been reassured that this summer was above and beyond—the hottest summer on record—by longtime Floridians. Thank you, global warming. Once that heat wave subsided, once October—and “season”—began, the social floodgates opened. It was like night and day. Or summer and fall. It finally wasn’t too hot to go to the beach. It wasn’t too hot to walk to the Drive and have lunch at Gym bar or Spencer’s. And wouldn’t you know it, the more you go out, the more people you meet, the greater your chances are of making connections and friends. Funny how that works. And as I have been writing this column, I just got invited to a clothing optional pool party this Friday! Food, games, music, and naked guys! Welcome to season. I have also started to find two new tribes of folks to call friends. Grass Kickers represent! My motley crew of thrown-together kickball team players. Each of us joined the league as singles, sans a team; many, like me, have just recently moved here. With no team to speak of we came together to form our own team and currently we have a damn good shot of making the playoffs. OK, OK, every team makes the playoffs. But Letters 48 DECEMBER 15, 2023

for a team thrown together like ours we have won games and have had a hell of a good time doing it. Cornhole league starts in January, and I am currently on the hunt for a partner. (Shout out to Noah my ‘corn you feel the love’ partner in the CAMP Rehoboth 2021 Cornhole tournament… we took second place!)

The thought of going back into the classroom here in Florida fills me with dread and anxiety and fear. My other new family are the fine people at The Poverello Center. The Center is the combination food pantry/ thrift store servicing the community here. They “provide nutritious food with understanding, respect and love for individuals living with critical and chronic illnesses.” They have been serving this community for 35 years— with the thrift store funding the food pantry. I am honored to volunteer with an organization that helps those in need. Contrary to what some Republicans think, being poor is not a crime. Thankfully I don’t really align with Republican thinking at all. Speaking of Republicans—failed Presidential candidate Ron DeSantis is still unfortunately Governor here, wreaking havoc everywhere he and his tiny feet go. His #1 target: queer youth. HIs “Don’t Say Gay” initiative is the law of the state’s land, virtually erasing the word gay from public schools throughout the state. (Fun fact: Joseph Harding, the ‘mastermind’ behind that initiative is currently serving four months for wire

fraud, money laundering, and making false statements in connection with obtaining $150,000 in COVID-19 relief loans.) Oh, DeSantis is also coming for AP African-American studies classes and college sociology courses. It is 2023— how does this keep happening? In DeSantis’s case we can thank low voter turnout. Fifty percent of registered Democrats in Florida did not vote in the last gubernatorial election. Fifty percent. And this is the result. Choices have consequences and our queer youth are currently paying the price. I am an out-and-proud gay man who has been arrested multiple times in the past for civil disobedience, protesting with groups like Rise and Resist and Gays Against Guns. I am also a former teacher with over 15 years of experience teaching English literature and creative writing to middle- and high-school students. The thought of going back into the classroom here in Florida fills me with dread and anxiety and fear. So why go back? Sadly, the answer is easy: money. Idealism, morals, and convictions don’t pay the bills. My new FAB life in Fort Lauderdale isn’t going to pay for itself. While I enjoy working as a freelance writer—the hustle, the different people you meet, and different stories I get to tell—it will not afford me the life I want to live. So come January 2024, Robby from the block will be re-entering the classroom for the first time since 2017. And you can trust and believe he will be saying GAY! ▼ Robert Dominic is a freelance writer/blogger in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He is proud to be one small blue dot in a very red state. He writes for numerous publications including Instinct magazine and his own blog, “The Gays of our Lives” (gaysofourlives.net).

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49 Letters

Celebrity Interview

BY MICHAEL COOK

Ts Madison

s Madison is a Renaissance Woman in absolutely every sense of the word. From being a semi-permanent judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race to her two shows on WOW Presents Plus (Ts Madison Ate That and Bring Back My Girls, returning for a third season), Madison has a packed schedule. As an added bonus, Madison found herself sampled on the Beyoncé summer anthem “Cozy,” bringing Madison an entirely new legion of fans. I caught up with Ts Madison to chat about both of her WOW Presents Plus shows, her unending advocacy, and how RuPaul’s Drag Race has changed the lives of so many performers, including her own. Michael Cook: Ts Madison Ate That is the name of your WOW Presents Plus show, but also could be a summary of your career. Ts Madison: Ts Madison Ate That is most definitely that! I’m Ts Madison so there are so many things that I do on the internet that become a trend or a saying. I am the type of girl that gives her unadulterated opinion, no matter how it may come out sometimes. I have been given this show by World of Wonder on WOW Presents Plus, and it’s fun. It’s me, eating. I’m a big girl, and I love to eat, and my opinion is a little different than other people’s. If it’s really nasty, I’m going to break down how nasty it is. If it’s good, I am going to break down the elements of how good it is. MC: Is there anything that you ate that you didn’t think you’d like that you really ended up enjoying? TsM: I’m really a pickles girl—I like tart pickles, sweet pickles—I love pickles. There was one of those pickles that I truly enjoyed. I really couldn’t decide on the Jonas Brothers’ popcorn. I was eating it and it was supposed to have this flavor in your mouth that is supposed to be this “thing.” And I didn’t taste the thing…and I didn’t taste the thing…but then I really tasted the Letters 50 DECEMBER 15, 2023

thing! I was like, “wait, is this the thing I’m supposed to be tasting”? It was supposed to be a “Hate,” but by the end of the episode it ended up being an “Ate”! MC: What has it been like for you to sit on the RuPaul’s Drag Race panel as a semi-permanent judge?

You’re going to respect us; we’re going to be in the spaces we deserve to be in.

TsM: I want to tell you this and I want to tell you this from my heart. I love RuPaul like the rest of the girls do, but I love RuPaul in a different space because I see me; me and RuPaul are the same. What makes me feel so good sitting there is being a 46-year-old transgender woman who has lived in this world, I get the opportunity to see so many different talents, so many different girls, and I get to see different personalities, different queer, nonbinary, transgender, and all identifying people become superstars. It is such an amazing thing. Thirty years ago, when I was 15 years old, sitting there watching how the world turns and I didn’t see many queer superstars, and now I’m getting the opportunity to see that happen right in front of my face. I get to judge them, and tell them how magnificent they are. MC: This past summer you stood up to transphobia in an extraordinary way. Was there ever a hesitation for you to speak up? TsM: There is never a hesitation for me to speak up—never. The world is evolving in a way that you can’t get away with being homophobic or transphobic. People want to revert back or stay in those times and they want to hide behind their homophobia and transphobia by saying that they are being so policed on what they can and cannot say and it’s just not right anymore. It’s not that it’s not right anymore, it’s that you have accountability for the things that you’ve said and the actions that you’ve done to us as gay and trans people. You’re going to respect us; we’re going to be in the spaces we deserve to be in. I am always going to vocally stand up to it and stand up for us always. MC: What was it like being part of the anthem “Cozy,” when Beyoncé sampled you on that track? TsM: It was amazing because it was a very big surprise to me. Beyoncé is arguably one of the biggest entertainers in the world; everyone pauses for Beyoncé to come in. For Beyoncé to be a

The world is evolving in a way that you can’t get away with being homophobic or transphobic...you have accountability for the things you’ve said...

fan of TS Madison is crazy. I’m not going to tell you when or how I met her, but I’ll tell you I met her at work, it was this situation with “Cozy.” I am one of her happy vices. I am one of the naughty

things she gets to do and that she takes inspiration from. To be on a song that is about all of us being queer and having different areas on the flag…when she sang about each color on the flag on that song and about wearing scars…. So much of our community has walked through with scars and had to come out on the other side, beat up and bruised, yet we are comfortable with every scar we received to make it to the place that we are now. MC: What do you tell the people who still don’t think the fight is in them and don’t know how to fight back in their own lives? TsM: I am going to always tell them that if you sit silent things don’t happen. But when you speak loud you can move a mountain. You gotta speak up for

what’s right, speak up for yourself, and never ever let anyone try to silence you, ever. ▼ She Ate That and Bring Back My Girls (premiered December 6) are both streaming on WOW Presents Plus. Follow Ts Madison on Instagram: instagram.com/tsmadison/?hl=en

Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct Magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News. Photos: Ts Madison’s Instagram

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51 Letters

The Sea Salt Table

BY ED CASTELLI

Pork-n-Sauerkraut for Good Luck

ew Year’s can be tricky. Tossing out a calendar triggers us into assessing where we are vs where we want to be. And that can lead to self-loathing and angst. Did I lose those love handles? Did I step back from that toxic relationship? Why can I still not make a cheesecake without cracks? New Year’s Eve can be especially hard. There’s a lot of pressure to have a wild and crazy time. And even worse than possibly Valentine’s Day, the Eve can make uncoupled folks feel especially lonely. When my husband and I were younger we certainly partook in the revelry. A friend hosted the best parties complete with live music, a smoky bar, slot machines, and servers schlepping crab puffs! Squeeze in a last call and we’d get home at a time I’m nowadays in REM sleep. Today’s youngins have the added layer of making a post-worthy night. Because somehow, we’ve made our online presence the arbiter of our popularity. And ultimately, our worth. But with age comes wisdom. I’ve come to realize it’s just another night in the continuum of life. The next Eve will roll around soon enough. Whether we partied hearty, reached our goals, ran a marathon, or not. So it is that one of my favorite New Year’s Eves was during COVID. We purposely spent the night alone. Fell asleep on the couch, woke up long enough to watch the countdown, and then went to bed. It was glorious! I lay there ruminating about all that’s good in my life while fireworks went off in the distance. I remember a few Eve parties we threw ourselves. Moderate affairs of maybe 60 people max. But they were daunting. It’s a challenging night to entertain because you gotta keep the energy pumping until at least 12:01 a.m. Other favorites were the Eves we spent with close friends playing board games in our pajamas. Letters 52 DECEMBER 15, 2023

But the Eve I remember most fondly was the year of the microwave. It’s become a legend told (and exaggerated) time and again. We had organized dinner out for 20 friends. But our booking was way too early. Back at our place yawning ensued. Time for imbibing had passed. So…we set the microwave timer for 11:00 p.m., counted down as if it was midnight, hugs and kisses, then bu-bye.

So it is that one of my favorite New Year’s Eves was during COVID. The bottom line is I could skip December 31. I’ve always liked New Year’s Day more. Drinking in the Christmas decorations one last time, the Rose Parade, and football. All with the luscious smell of pork and sauerkraut simmering in the crockpot. Being from Pennsylvania, eating this dish is considered good luck in the year to come. Purists will tell you it has to be very plain, just pork and just kraut. Some will even go so far as to say it has to be the first thing you eat on January 1. Me? I like to infuse more flavors. Which is why I’m sharing my version. You’ll notice the measurements and amounts are very approximate, a departure from most recipes. But I want you to guesstimate based on YOUR preferences. You can do it. It’s the new cooking you in 2024! Let’s get started, shall we?

STEPS

 In the bottom of a crockpot, layer 1 onion, thinly sliced, and 1 or 2 apples, peeled, cored, and sliced into small wedges.

 Top with a bone-in pork butt or

shoulder roast. Season with salt, pepper, and some caraway seeds. Top and surround with bagged sauerkraut.

 Gently pour in 1 to 2 cups chicken

broth and 1 cup dry white wine or a light beer.

Cook for 10 hours on low until the

meat is fork tender. Remove the bone. Drain and platter chunks of the pork surrounded by the sauerkraut, onions, etc. And enjoy your good luck!

TIPS • Don’t pick a cut of pork without the bone. The bone adds a lot of favor. • Avoid cheap sauerkraut in the can. Get the really good stuff in a bag. Or better yet, locally fresh-made. • Prep the day before and cook early for an evening dinner. Or as we often do, plug it in before bed to eat around noon... the aroma wafting into the bedroom is heaven. • In the last hour, feel free to nestle in some hotdogs or Polish kielbasa. They’ll be a hit with children, and they add a hint of smokey flavor throughout. • Tradition says serve this with mashed potatoes, buttered corn, and potato rolls such as Martins. Yes, that’s a lot of carbs. Start your diet January 2. ▼ Ed and his husband Jerry split their time between homes near Harrisburg Pennsylvania and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog Atticus. Recipe requests and feedback welcome: ed@seasalttable.com.

ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULE 2024 SEASON NOW AVAILABLE ANYTHING GOES 17 SHOWS: FEB 29 to MARCH 17

MERRY MANILOW CHRISTMAS Music of Barry Manilow Dec 21 - 2PM & 7:30PM

NUNSENSE

MERRY MILTON HOLIDAY SPECIAL December 23 - 8PM

11 SHOWS: MAY 2 - 12

LEGALLY BLONDE 17 SHOWS: JULY 18 to AUG 4

FOR 10 SHOWS: NOV 30 - DEC 10 A CAROLE KING CHRISTMAS With Michelle Foster December 29 - 8PM

DUELING PIANOS

with Flying Ivories December 31 - 9:30PM

Relive the magic this holiday season!

HEATHERS 11 SHOWS: OCTOBER 3 - 13

ANNIE

17 SHOWS: DECEMBER 5 - 22

MORE EVENTS

DEC 17 - A NOT-SO-SILENT CHRISTMAS: Christine Havrilla & Mama’s Black Sheep DEC 18 - IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Film Screening DEC 20 - THE NUTCRACKER SUITE: Delmarva Big Band DEC 22 - CHRISTMAS WITH THE RAT PACK DEC 28 - THE GATHERING GLOOM: The Cure Tribute DEC 30 - LOVE’S A JOKE: Comedy Show JAN 4 - GOOD STUFF: Tribute to Steely Dan, Sting, Stevie Wonder, and Gino Vannelli JAN 5 - F*CK NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS: Stand Up Comedy

JAN 6 - KICK IT OUT: Tribute To Heart JAN 7 - DEANNA FITZPATRICK: Psychic Medium JAN 10 - LOWER CASE BLUES JAN 11 - SERAFIN STRING ENSEMBLE JAN 12 - KISS ARMY: Kiss Tribute JAN 13 - ABSOLUTE ADELE: Adele Tribute JAN 14 - PARROT BEACH: Jimmy Buffet Tribute JAN 17 - FROZEN: Kennedy Center Bus Trip JAN 18 - NEW YORK’S FINEST: The Police Tribute JAN 19 - BEST FRIEND’S GIRL: Cars Tribute

For more information on tickets, show details, and full events calendar go to:

www.MILTONTHEATRE.com

302.684.3038 | 110 Union St. Milton, DE

DECEMBER 15, 2023

53 Letters

Letters 54 DECEMBER 15, 2023

DECEMBER 15, 2023

55 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE BEACH AREA LODGING Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave.........................302-227-2511 Atlantic View Hotel, Ocean Front 6 Wilmington Ave......................302-227-2999 Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave.....................................................302-227-9446 Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave.................................302-227-6688 Canalside Inn, 34 6th St.................................................................866-412-2625 Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave.....................................302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave.................................302-226-2742 Summer Place Hotel, 1st St & Olive Ave........................................302-226-0766 The Avenue Inn & Spa, 33 Wilmington Ave....................................302-226-2900

LEWES FOOD & DRINK

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.com. REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS Atlantic Jewelry, 313 South Boardwalk.........................................302-226-0675 New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy............................................302-227-8484 Stuart Kingston Gallery, 19470 Coastal Hwy.................................302-227-2524 Unfinished Business, Rt. 1 behind Panera Bread..........................302-645-8700

REHOBOTH ART | GALLERIES | MUSEUMS Caroline Huff, Fine Artist ...................................................www.carolinehuff.com Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave......................................................302-227-2050 Philip Morton Gallery, 47 Baltimore Ave........................................302-727-0905 Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln...............................................302-227-8408 Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave..............................302-227-7310

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK 1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center................................302-645-9355 Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave................................................................ 302-226-9001 Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave...............................................302-227-3674 Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave........................................................302-227-6515 Café Azafrán, 18 Baltimore Ave.....................................................302-227-8100 Café Papillon, Penny Lane Mall......................................................302-227-7568 Chesapeake & Maine, 316 Rehoboth Ave.....................................302-226-3600 Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave......................................302-227-2646 Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave................................302-227-1023 Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats 320 Rehoboth Ave.......................302-226-2739 Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave.......................................................302-227-3353 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 3 South First St.......................302-527-1400 Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave..............................................................302-226-1044 Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St.....................................................302-227-7653 Just In Thyme, 38163 Robinsons Dr..............................................302-227-3100 Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave.........................................................302-226-3066 Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave........................................302-227-6966 Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave.......................................302-226-2240 Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-1139 Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave............................................................302-227-6080 Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave.........................................302-227-1007 The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue....................................................302-567-2726

Letters 56 DECEMBER 15, 2023

Go Brit, 18388 Coastal Hwy...........................................................302-644-2250 Harbour Waterfront Dining, 134 West Market St...........................302-200-9522 Matt’s Fish Camp, 34401 Tenley Ct...............................................302-644-2267

OTHER AREA FOOD & DRINK Bluecoast Seafood, 1111 Hwy One, Bethany................................302-539-7111 Catch 54, 54 Madison Ave, Fenwick..............................................302-436-8600 Matt’s Fish Camp, 28635 Coastal Hwy, Bethany...........................302-539-2267

SERVICES AT THE BEACH BUILDING/CLEANING/REMODELING/LANDSCAPING

A.G. Renovations ...........................................................................302-947-4096 bsd, 18412 The Narrow Rd, Lewes...................................... 302-684-8588

CHURCHES/SYNAGOGUES

All Saints’ Episcopal, 18 Olive Ave.................................................302-227-7202 Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd.......................................302-227-7743 Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 20689 Shoppes at Long Neck.......302-947-1044 M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd.....................................302-645-4945 Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd..................302-226-8977 St. George’s Episcopal, 20271 Beaver Dam Rd, Harbeson..............302-227-7202 St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes.............................302-645-8479 Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy........................302-313-5838 Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro.................................717-579-2612 Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave.........................302-227-2109

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)..........................................................866-227-7441 ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project............................302-654-3966 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org........................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect......................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Parents of Transgender & Gender Non-conforming Children............................................302-227-5620 Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+)....................302-227-2055 CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+)..................................302-515-3040 Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center...............................800-223-9074 Delaware Human Relations Commission Housing & public accommodation............................................877-544-8626 Delaware Information Line............................................................................2-1-1 Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival..........302-265-3020 Delaware Transgender Resources—transdelaware.net, delawarelgbtq@gmail.com Delaware Transgender Support.....................................................302-402-3033 Gay/Lesbian Alcoholics Anonymous—add’l schedules..................302-856-6452

Saturdays 6 pm: Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd (step meeting) Saturdays 7:30 pm: All Saints’ Church, 18 Olive Ave (step meeting) Tuesdays noon: St. Peter’s Church, 211 Mulberry St, Lewes (step meeting) Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+).........................................302-645-9293 LGBTQ Student Union—University of DE, Newark.........................302-831-8066 Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth................................................302-645-7449 PFLAG-Rehoboth—3rd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes SLAA and SAA—Thursdays, 7:30 pm, All Saints’ Church 18 Olive Ave ............................................................................302-745-7929 Social Security Administration—Lewes office................................800-772-1213 TransLiance of DE—Rehoboth—4th Tuesdays at 7 pm, MCC of Rehoboth; contact: TransLiance@gmail.com

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

Jewish Family Services........................................................ 302-478-9411 Karen Abato, LPC - Licensed Professional Counselor........... 302-500-3691 Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching.............................302-754-1954 Nancy Commisso, LCSW, Therapeutic Services.............................703-598-2938 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes ............................302-574-6954

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

Lawson Firm, 402 Rehoboth Ave...................................................302-226-3700 PWW Law LLC, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes................................... 302-703-6993 Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning..........................................302-644-8634

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center.............................302-645-0407 One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave........................................302-226-3552 Reiki CENTRAL, thecentralfirm.com...............................................302-408-0878

PEST CONTROL

Activ Pest Solutions, 16803 New Rd, Lewes................................ 302-645-1502

PET RETAIL

Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave..................................................302-226-2690 Pet Portraits by Monique................................................................717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Silver Electric..................................................................................302-227-1107

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn.......... 302-856-6361 Humane Animal Partners (formerly Delaware Humane Association & Delaware SPCA).......................................................... 302-200-7159 Little Landmines Pet Waste Removal. littlelandmines.com.......... 302-521-3983 Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes............ 302-645-7445

EVENT PLANNING/CATERING

REAL ESTATE

ELECTRICIANS

Plate Catering.................................................................................302-644-1200

FINANCIAL SERVICES

County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd.......................................... 302-226-9800 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.........................................................302-644-6620

FLORISTS

Bayberry Florist..............................................................................302-227-5725 Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy...........................................302-227-9481

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium................................ 302-645-9520

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-ROBB Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1..............302-727-5331 Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy................... 302-260-9478

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties.....................................302-226-3519 AIDS Delaware – New Castle County............................................302-652-6776 AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide...............................................800-422-0429 Brandywine Urology Consultants...................................................302-824-7039 Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy.................................302-645-3300 CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth........................................................................302-227-5620 Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic ..............................................302-933-3420 Christiana Care LGBTQ Health Initiatives.......................................302-733-1227 Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide..........................................302-654-5471 Delaware Hospice..........................................................................800-838-9800 Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center.................................... 302-297-8431 National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)...........................302-427-0787 Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln....................... 302-226-0300 Steven B. Wright, D.M.D., 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy............. 302-645-6671

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty...................................302-745-5122 Bill Peiffer, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy....................302-703-6987 Chris Beagle, Compass..................................................................302-273-4998 Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy...........302-381-4871 Hugh Fuller, Realtor........................................................................302-745-1866 John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-703-6987 Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave...........302-227-6101 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy....................... 302-645-6664 Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave....................................................302-227-3883 McWilliams Ballard, Kevin McDuffie.................................. kmcduffie@mcwb.com McWilliams Ballard, Justin Orr.....................................................jorr@mcwb.com Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty................................302-227-3883 Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy........................... 302-227-1222 The Joe Maggio Group, 37169 Rehoboth Ave Ext., #11....... 302-226-3770 Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave............................302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes............................302-313-6658 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln.................. 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave.............................. 302-278-6100 CHEER Transportation (age 50+)....................................................302-856-4909 Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk...................302-644-0400 Olivia Travel...........................................................800-631-6277 ext. 696

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November.

INSURANCE

Eric Blondin, State Farm...................................................... 302-644-3276 George Bunting, State Farm................................................ 302-227-3891 Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm............................................ 302-645-7283

DECEMBER 15, 2023

57 Letters

OUTlook

BY BETH SHOCKLEY

The Best Job Ever

worked for Voice of America in Washington, DC, from 1989-1993. VOA is the state-owned news network and international radio broadcaster of the United States. VOA produces digital, TV, and radio content in 48 languages, which it distributes to affiliate stations around the world. Some criticize VOA, calling it the propaganda arm of the US government; I never saw that as an on-the-ground worker. The most onerous thing I found at VOA was its three-source rule—at the time, a fact couldn’t be reported until confirmed by three independent and verifiable sources. It slowed us down but at least we were right. Working at VOA was one of the coolest jobs I ever had. I was a producer, reporter, and announcer in the English general programs division and worked primarily on a radio magazine show which was about all things Americana. I researched and wrote and recorded stories about the most interesting things, from an elephant who paints at the Phoenix Zoo, to the latest recording by Etta James. Every day, we produced a half-hour variety show about life in the US, from the quirky to the sublime. I never knew who was listening. We got little fan mail. Our host mainly got marriage proposals from Nigerian princes (that was just starting to be a thing). This was way before instant metrics and it was not part of my job to understand our listening public. We broadcast all over the world. But one day in 1991 or 1992, my boss and the host of our show got an amazing letter. The letter was from Thomas Sutherland, who had recently been released as a hostage in Beruit. Sutherland was the Dean of Agriculture at the American University of Beruit in Lebanon and was kidnapped by Islamic Jihad members near his Beruit home in 1985. He was released six years later in 1991, after being held 2,353 days. He was among dozens of Westerners taken hostage at the height of Lebanon’s civil war. He was not treated well—he was often blindfolded and chained to a wall by Hezbollah gunmen. But apparently, his captors allowed him to listen to the radio sometimes. And during that time, he

This was the ultimate compliment. I certainly did not feel worthy of it. I was just doing my job.

Letters 58 DECEMBER 15, 2023

listened to VOA and he heard our silly little show. And it helped him endure his captivity. The letter said he was going to be in DC and wanted to take the team to lunch. This amazingly resilient man wanted to take us to lunch because our seemingly insignificant show helped him pass the time in captivity. Despite the many broadcasting awards and kudos I collected over the years, I never felt so honored in my career either before or since. This was the ultimate compliment. I certainly did not feel worthy of it. I was just doing my job. Mr. Sutherland hosted the magazine show team at the Air and Space Museum restaurant. He was a gentle, kind, and quiet man. He thanked us. Yes, he thanked us. He told us that the show had helped him remember what living in the US was like, no matter how insignificant the story. I struggled not to cry. Many warm words were exchanged that day; it was a lunch and a moment I will never forget. Thomas Sutherland lived to be 85 and died in 2016 in Colorado. His memory is certainly a blessing for me and countless others who were lucky enough to be in his orbit, however briefly. I think back on that incredible memory now that I’m retired, and I feel so grateful that I was able to experience that and generate a long and fruitful career. Who would have thought our little magazine show had the positive impact that it did, at least on Thomas Sutherland? Were there others? I’ll never know. But it’s like everything else in life, I believe. If you put in your best effort and your aim is to help people, the results will be positive. I helped a man in captivity pass the time through a horrible ordeal. That is more than enough of an affirmation for me. ▼ Beth Shockley is a retired senior writer/editor living in Dover with her wife and furbabies.

clear space theatre company

2024 Season

Jan. 19-Feb. 4

Feb. 24 & 25

March 8-24

April 26-28

May 3-19

May 31, June 1 & 2

June 25-Aug. 29

June 28-Aug. 31

July 3-Aug. 27

Sept. 19-29

Oct. 11-27

Nov. 8-10

Nov. 29-Dec. 15

Subscribe today & save 20% Ticket & Info: 302.227.2270 www.clearspacetheatre.org

Clear Space Theatre Company. 20 Baltimore Ave. (Beach Block), Reboboth Beach, DE 19971 DECEMBER 15, 2023

59 Letters

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

Falling Into the Holidays! CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Appreciation Party, RB Independent Film Festival, Blue Wave Gala, and More! THIS PAGE (left to right) 1 ) at Rehoboth Beach

Farmers' Holiday Market: Pat Coluzzi, Lori Kline, Ginny Daly, Barbara Fennell, Jacob Anthony, Brian Wright, Bob Stransky, Marilyn Bryant; 2) RB Independent Film Festival: Bill Brencher, Ida Rowe, Helen Chamberlin, Wes McNealy, Antonia Blucher, Rick Dietz, John Vidal, Amy Twoodle.

OPPOSITE PAGE 3) at CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer

Appreciation Party: Matty Brown, Kim Leisey, Deb Woods, Amanda Albenese, Leslie Sinclair, Teri Seaton, Mike DeFlavia, Jennifer Rubinstein, Diane Scobey, David Scuccimarra, Derrick Johnson, Barb Ralph, Bob Dobbs, Jack Morrison; 4) McWilliams Ballard Andrew Criss Opening Art Reception, CAMP Courtyard: Andrew Criss, Kevin McDuffie, Tony Burns, John McLaughlin.

2 Letters 60 DECEMBER 15, 2023

More CAMPshots page 62

4 DECEMBER 15, 2023

61 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

(Continued from page 61) THIS PAGE (left to right) 1 ) at Blue Wave Gala, Rehoboth Beach Convention Center: DE Lt. Governor Bethany Hall-Long, DE State Auditor Lydia York, Peggy Castle, Debbie Geismar, DE State Representative Pete Schwartzkopf, Jeff Balk, DE State Senator Russ Huxtable, DE State Senator Sarah McBride, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, Kathy McGuiness, RB Mayor Stan Mills, Steve Scheffer, Rick Perry, John Ciaciosi, Marty Rendon; 2) Rehoboth Art League Annual Holiday Art Fair: Robin McKay, Scott Ennis, Ron Butt, Mickey Allison, Kelly Long. OPPOSITE PAGE: 3) at RB Historical Society Annual Meeting: RB Commissioner Bunky Markert, Kate Markert, RB Commissioner Patrick Gossett, Hedi Nasstrom-Evans, David Mann, Brian McGuire, Enid Lagree, Jay Lagree; 4) at Freddie’s Beach Bar: Michael Gaudioso, Dee Martin, Donna Shifflett, Kay Young, Maureen Ryneski, Tara Bending, Lee Lambert, Thea Leek, Diane Eggleton, Steph Dalee; 5) at DE Symphony Orchestra: Carol Dennis, Denise Emery, Richard Scalenghe, Tom Panetta, Mark Myers, Phillip Ward, Barbara Passikoff, Sandra Pace.

2 Letters 62 DECEMBER 15, 2023

(More CAMPshots page 72)

Politics and Parties!

DECEMBER 15, 2023

63 Letters

Historical Headliners

BY ANN APTAKER

Nordic Love and Literature: Selma Lagerlöf

n 1909, something remarkable happened in the world of high culture: for the first time. a woman won the Nobel Prize in Literature. And…it was won by a lesbian! This groundbreaking author was Selma Lagerlöf of Sweden, a woman who not only dared to love another woman when it was still illegal in Sweden, but through her imaginative literature dared to challenge the prevailing taste for realism favored by none other than the revered August Strindberg. Born to Louise Wallroth Lagerlöf and her husband Erik Gustav Lagerlöf in November 1858 in Värmland, Sweden, Selma Lagerlöf’s early life as one of six children was rather unsettled. The family moved around quite a bit, and young Selma’s birth defect of a damaged hip left her slightly lame, resulting in her being home schooled and raised in part by her grandmother. (She later overcame the hip problem as an adult and generally walked normally.) Moreover, her father was an alcoholic, further adding to the family’s instability. By all accounts, young Selma was fascinated by the fairytales, Swedish fantasies, and folklore her grandmother told her. This early introduction to the fantastical certainly informed Lagerlöf’s writings, including her acclaimed debut novel, Gösta Berling’s Saga, published in 1891, about the wondrous adventures of a defrocked minister and various pensioners in an old manor house. Her later works, including the much-admired children’s book The Wonderful Adventures of Nils, published in 1902, employ Lagerlöf’s signature elements of fantasy, history, and folklore. The Wonderful Adventures of Nils was internationally praised, and translated into over 30 languages. It remains a favorite today. Oddly, despite Lagerlöf’s imaginative and whimsical turns of mind in her literary life, she was perceived to have a stern, spinsterish nature. Various sources and documents from the time actually called her a “Snow Queen.” What these sources didn’t understand was that this Letters 64 DECEMBER 15, 2023

was the public face of Selma Lagerlöf, while beneath that stern visage was a romantic soul who daringly, though necessarily discreetly, engaged in deeply loving relationships with other women: in particular, Jewish-Swedish author and translator Sophie Elkan, and Valborg Olander, who managed areas of Lagerlöf’s literary career.

But Lagerlöf would not give up either woman, and neither woman bowed out of the triangle. It wasn’t until 1993, with the publication of her letters to Elkan, that we learned of the romantic nature of Lagerlöf’s relationships. The long period between Lagerlöf’s death in 1940 and the letters’ publication was at Lagerlöf’s request in her will, due to the fact that same sex relationships were illegal in Sweden in her lifetime and the lifetime of her lovers. Lagerlöf met Sophie Elkan in 1894. Lagerlöf acknowledged that Elkan, a respected member of Swedish intellectual and literary circles, had an influence on her writing. The two would have lively discussions about Lagerlöf’s writing, with

Elkan sharply critiquing the work. Nonetheless, the love between the two women was deep and passionate, as we learned from Lagerlöf’s letters. In one, she calls Elka “very beautiful.” The women travelled extensively together, including trips to Italy, Egypt, and Jerusalem. In 1901, the ancient city became the setting for Lagerlöf’s novel of the same name, a book she dedicated to Elkan. Their relationship lasted until Elkan’s death in 1921. In 1900, though, Lagerlöf met suffragette, women’s rights activist, teacher, and author Valborg Olander, and once again the so-called “Snow Queen” melted. Still involved with Elkan, Lagerlöf nevertheless became romantically involved with Olander. Their letters, published in 2006, reveal not only the intensity of their relationship but Olander’s influence as a manager of Lagerlöf’s literary career. This love triangle continued, with Elkan understandably jealous of Lagerlöf’s romantic and literary relationship with Olander. But Lagerlöf would not give up either woman, and neither woman bowed out of the triangle. The “Snow Queen” was clearly anything but icy! After Elkan’s death, Lagerlöf and Olander continued their relationship, by all accounts exclusively, until Lagerlöf died in 1940. Olander lived until 1943. Today, Selma Lagerlöf is revered in Sweden for her literary brilliance. Over the years, she was awarded several prestigious literary honors, including the Gold Medal of the Swedish Academy, and in 1914 she was accepted into the academy as a member, an honor never before accorded a woman. In 1991, her image was depicted on the 20-kronor banknote, the first woman, and certainly the first lesbian, ever depicted on Swedish currency. Oh, and by the way, same sex relationships are no longer illegal in Sweden. ▼ Ann Aptaker is the author of short stories and the Lambda & Goldie award winning Cantor Gold series. Her latest book, A Crime of Secrets, was released July 4, 2023.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

65 Letters

View Point

BY RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

The Challenge in 2024: Feelings Trump Reason Fighting MAGA’s Alternate Reality

am writing this on Thanksgiving night to help me through my after-dinner bloat. I am glad I don’t stuff myself like that routinely. I’ve already had two types of pie, so I hardly need more dessert. Yet here I am, feasting on effluvia from the site formerly known as Twitter. Consider it opposition research: the Trumpian hordes love displaying their shortcomings. A woman on X named Brigitte posted a meme showing Trump in uniform leading soldiers in battle. This despite the fact that he avoided military service and insulted those who served—not to mention that the fantasy Trump is much more fit than the reality, who perfectly embodies the Seven Deadly Sins. In another X holiday post, a handsome young white supremacist walked through an airport making racist comments about the people of color he saw, falsely stating that our borders are wide open under President Biden. Someone else asked readers to “describe this Trumper in three words.” I responded, “Popular in prison.” My bad. Contrary to the xenophobes’ twisted logic, the increase in border arrests means that the Border Patrol is doing its job. The reality-challenged nastiness of the MAGA mob makes it clear that those of us eager to preserve democracy cannot expect to win the 2024 campaign with a tone of solemn, above-the-fray earnestness. We must be a relentless truth squad. We must make sharp jabs and use all of our wits. Why do so many people continue clinging to Trump? The straightforward answer is that the devil whispering in your ear is more fun than the angel. It is hard to get between people and a demagogue who tells them what they want to hear and appeals to their lowest impulses. Feelings trump reason. That means Letters 66 DECEMBER 15, 2023

we need strong, vivid narratives to counter the bigots. Once we get people’s attention, we have to convey the reality that truth and human decency are on the Democratic side. The diversity of American society is a fact of life, not a Democratic program to disrupt a meritocracy. If white Christian

It is hard to get between people and a demagogue who tells them what they want to hear and appeals to their lowest impulses. Americans are so superior, why is their behavior so blatantly unchristian? Why are their leading voices so vicious and ignorant? Why are they so eager to return a man to the White House who has made it clear he will be on a revenge tour? One line of argument to avoid is anything that begins with “Everybody knows” or “Nobody wants.” Sentences that begin that way rarely end truthfully. There may be lots of things that everyone ought to know or nobody should want, but asserting a nonexistent unanimity is like declaring peace without doing any of the work. We cannot even get agreement that the Earth is round, that vaccines are safe and effective, or that members of various minorities are human beings. The most vicious nonsense can be awfully hard to break people of. That is a central part of our challenge. On my way to the coffee shop today I saw what appeared to be a blackbird walking in the street. I put on my glasses, and it was just a plastic bag

blown by the morning breeze. The MAGA fanatics refuse to put on their glasses. They deny or minimize the January 6, 2021 insurrection at the Capitol, or blame it on someone else, despite many defendants having put the blame on Trump. They are determined to impose their own version of reality. We cannot afford to sit out the fight. We have to begin with people where they are, and try to connect. Hurling insults can be fun but does not persuade anyone. (Imagine someone reacting, “You know, you’re right. I AM ignorant. I’m sorry.” Nope.) Some people are persuadable; some are not. It is important to recognize the difference. A woman named Fran posted, “This fall has been pretty rough for me; mom passed away 6 weeks ago, I was laid off 2 weeks ago and got Covid yesterday. For the first time, I’m alone on Thanksgiving. If anyone sees this, please send cheer or funny pictures.” I replied, “Look at it this way: you avoided a food coma. And unless you’re trapped in a stereotypical country song—in which your pickup truck breaks down, your dog dies, and your partner leaves you—it’s only up from here! Raise a glass to the moon and say, ‘Here I come, world!’” We cannot know in advance whether we will defeat the forces of darkness, but we can have a fine time trying. ▼ Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist at rrosendall@me.com.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

67 Letters

arts+entertainment

BY LESLIE SINCLAIR & MARJ SHANNON

SPOTLIGHT ON THE

arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at the Heart of Our Community

Traveling Visionary Peace Youth Art Exhibition Peace in the Afternoon Reception: Sunday, 12/17, 2-3 p.m.

n the November issue of Letters, Executive Director Kim Leisey reflected on the meaning of the Peace Pole with its message of “May Peace Be in Our Communities.” She noted CAMP Rehoboth’s ongoing commitment to build peace in the community, including the transformation of its many community spaces for learning and gathering. The CAMP Rehoboth Gallery is one of those spaces, and in December, we invite you in for a time of quiet reflection and a chance to view art that is part of the Pacem in Terris Traveling Visionary Peace Youth Art Exhibition. On display are 13 works created by young Delaware artists, aged five to 18, who have answered the question, “What does peace mean to me?” In addition to reflecting on peace, this exhibition provides a meaningful opportunity to celebrate the talent and creativity of these young artists.

On Sunday, December 17, from 2:00-3:00 p.m., CAMP Rehoboth will host an exhibit reception, Peace in the Afternoon. Enjoy light refreshments, the art, and an opportunity to explore what peace means to you. At this exhibit, visitors are also invited to share their vision of a peaceful world on a Community Peace display board, or through social media. Pacem in Terris is a grassroots organization committed to building relationships that transform minds to foster healing and peace, and it shares a goal with CAMP Rehoboth— that of working to make the world better together. We can learn from these young artists and benefit from the time of quiet reflection. Do not miss the opportunity to experience the exhibition by December 22—CAMP Rehoboth will be closed the week of December 25. ▼

In January 2024, we will be taking a month off as the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center undergoes renovations. But we will be back in February with an exceptional lineup of exhibitions, programs, and activities. If you are an artist who would like to be kept informed about CAMP Rehoboth’s visual arts and opportunities to exhibit, please email artshow@ camprehoboth.com and your email will be added to the artist list. Informative emails, including calls for artists, are distributed about six times per year. If you are an artist who has an idea and would like to be considered for an exhibition at CAMP Rehoboth, please scan the QR code, review the information, and complete the Solo, Duo, or Group Exhibition Proposal.

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on DelawareScene.com. Letters 68 DECEMBER 15, 2023

arts+entertainment

artist SPOTLIGHT DOUG YETTER In February, the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus will once again take the stage, treating their audiences to their signature energizing, fun concerts—the perfect antidote to mid-winter doldrums! CAMP Rehoboth talked with Doug Yetter, the Chorus’s Artistic Director, to discover what’s in store…. CAMP REHOBOTH: Tell me about the upcoming (February 16-18, 2024) concert. Will it be largely full-chorus? Include a few (or many) solos? Duets? Trios? How about the ensemble—will it make an appearance? DOUG YETTER: Our February concert will be the fullest chorus ever—102 voices. There are several solo/duet opportunities, though we haven’t held auditions for those yet. The ensemble will be featured in three numbers. CR: 102 voices! Do you have a waiting list? DY: Yes, we had a good-sized waiting list, which included several singers from past seasons. We encourage new singers to submit an application well in advance of the season to help them secure a spot. CR: To what do you attribute the chorus’s popularity? DY: Our reputation for presenting consistently entertaining concerts composed of popular music from the recent past attracts a wonderful mix of singers. Though I demand a high standard from them, rehearsals are always fast-paced and fun—as are our shows. CR: The concert band—lead by David Zipse once again, I presume? Who else will join? DY: Dave will be at the keyboard and leading the merry band—reeds, trumpet, guitar, bass, and percussion. (Not sure of the players, though I’m certain it will be the usual suspects.) CR: The ensemble—I’ve seen the ALLIANCE name, all in upper case. Is it an acronym? If so, for what? How did the name derive? DY: You’re not the first person to ask if the name is an acronym. The 18-voice group is roughly half gay/half straight, but after some discussion, we realized we are allies—standing tall. Thus, the reason for ALL CAPS. CR: Given the concert is “The British Are Coming!,” can I look forward to a cameo from Paul Revere and the Raiders? DY: Well...no. The concert features only music by British composers and artists—the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Adele, Elton John, Queen, Bee Gees, Foreigner, Fleetwood Mac, George Michael, Spice Girls...even Herman’s Hermits. CR: Do you have a special Union Jack spangled jacket on

order? (I hope so...) How about other folks—what’s “costume” look like, this year? DY: If I told you what I was wearing, it wouldn’t be a surprise! It’s a safe bet there will be one stone of sequins. My suggestion for the chorus’s apparel is 60s hippie. More likely our audience will see hippies IN their 60s. CR: What music is proving the most challenging to work with? How about the most fun? DY: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” is easily one of the more challenging pieces in the concert. We’re using the GLEE arrangement—soloists with full chorus AND backup chorus. There are a LOT of arrows and notations in my score. I’m really way out of my comfort zone on this show. Probably ⅓ of the music are tunes I’ve heard, but certainly couldn’t just sit down and play. I shouldn’t admit this, but my favorite pieces are by Adele and the Spice Girls. CR: You’ve been leading the Chorus for many years. Is it still fun? Still a challenge? What do you most enjoy about it? What’s the hardest/trickiest part? DY: Good question…. I think this is my 14th season and it’s more fun now than ever. Challenge? Absolutely! I LOVE creating something from the ground up, even though it can be incredibly difficult. My ultimate goal is to ensure the chorus feels successful— because it’s their show. I curate and guide, but I can’t do anything without them. CR: Last year’s concert was fabulous. Can you top it? DY: I would like to think that over the years we’ve been able to refine what we do so every new show is also the best show. That having been said, every concert is its own unique creation, which makes it nearly impossible to draw comparisons. It’s the favorite kid syndrome.... CR: Anything else you’d like our readers to know? DY: Art isn’t created in a vacuum. I thrive on feedback— good and bad—so I encourage your good readers to share what they want to see. ▼ Leslie Sinclair is a member of the Delaware State Arts Council and a passionate leader of CAMP Rehoboth’s visual arts programs. Marj Shannon is the Editor of Letters. DECEMBER 15, 2023

69 Letters

arts+entertainment

by Terri Schlichenmeyer

It’s a hard choice to make. When someone asks you about your favorite holiday, you have to think. Do you pick a spring holiday with bunnies, hearts, or leprechauns? Or something grand with parades and flags? Then again, stuffing yourself with stuffing is pretty awesome and that whole Santa-reindeer-elf bit is pretty appealing. Do you have a favorite holiday or, as in The Jolliest Bunch by Danny Pellegrino, do you just pick them all? We’ve all had ‘em: legendary stories attached to holidays that are best forgotten—for at least a little while, until they become family lore. Take, for instance, the various stories Pellegrino tells, beginning with a shout-out to his mother, Linda. Linda, controller of all holidays, who invites the family over for Christmas Eve at 6:00 and then, like clockwork, freaks out at 5:10 “for approximately forty-nine minutes.” Linda, who rents chairs for the holiday from a local funeral home. Linda, who once fashioned a passable angel costume from a woman’s white shirt. For a holiday we love, we’ll do almost anything to be home with family, including taking a cross-country ride with a half-drunk driver who’s on her way to see a former lover with

Letters 70 DECEMBER 15, 2023

six kids. For a holiday we love, we hold onto Christmas Past by welcoming gay ghosts into our lives. We work retail and endure the same eight holiday songs on every store speaker, then go home and watch the same four holiday specials on TV. We hope we get the gift we didn’t ask for. We celebrate with family and friends, and “sometimes we’re surrounded by people we don’t like all that much.” And then there are the traditions and the things that make the holiday a holiday: a string of beloved lights that a childhood pet nearly destroyed. Cookie cutters in the shape of the south end of a cat. Enjoying “Midwest comfort foods... that are incredibly delectable and anything but healthy.” Knowing that you’ve wrapped the 100 percent exact right gift for someone you adore, but also knowing “that even the most special presents are not as important as how you make them feel.” So, here’s the brilliance of The Jolliest Bunch: no matter who you are, man or woman, gay or straight, author Danny Pellegrino has a universal memory to share that’s hilariously close to something you’ve experienced. Awkward relatives, check. Meals gone wrong, check. The gift you wanted more than anything, check. Bad holidays at a stranger’s house, yep. Decorations that are older than you are, uh-huh. It’s like he was at that same get-together. This may make you cringe, but you’ll also laugh because Pellegrino is a funny writer with a keen eye for a great (and relatable) story. Just beware, though: holidays also bring out nostalgia, longing, missing, and regrets, so watch your heart. In his introduction, Pellegrino says this book is for holiday haters as well as for those who start singing Christmas carols in August. That means The Jolliest Bunch is for you, and reading it’s an easy choice to make.▼

DECEMBER 15, 2023

71 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

2 (Continued from page 63) THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Mariachi Restaurant: John Hackett, Tim Murray, Yolanda Pineda, John Bator, Brian Sparrow, Ken Geissler, Joe Matassino, David Park, Clarence Pineda, Jamie Kotchek, Craig Schwartz; 2) at The Pines: Travis Mazza, Stefano May, Darryl Isom, Derrick Johnson, Rick Norcross, Cory Peterson, Michael Taggert, Joe Steele, Chris Leady, Stacey Jennings, Matt Richards, Kristina Kelly. OPPOSITE PAGE: 3) at Coastal Camera Club Exhibition at RB City Hall: Sharon Denny, Nancy Allen, Leslie Sinclair, Steve Licata, Debbie Woods, Bill Crnkovich; 4) at Conch Island: Georgia Hammond, Diane Eggleton; 5) at Blue Moon: David Brinton, Joe Serner; 6) at Aqua: Michael Taggert, Rich Norcross, Keith Long, Rick Hardy, Dave Lyons, Frank Suprenant, Kevin Naff, Brian Buebel; 7) at Peninsula Gallery: Diana Beebe, Rose Murray; 8) at Diego’s Bar & Nightclub: Brendan Patrick, RJ Carr, Zachary Tyler, Tom Crooks, Manny Tjeda, Eddie Adam, David Mariner, Mark Kehoe, Joe Strener, Chicki Parm. ▼ Letters 72 DECEMBER 15, 2023

DECEMBER 15, 2023

73 Letters

LIVING (A LONG TIME) WITH HIV

BY MARY JO TARALLO

Remember and Commit

ave you taken a daily pill or a couple of pills per day to “cure what ails you”? Imagine starting your day taking 16 pills, then another 13 medications at the end of the day, then finding out that your kidneys are failing, and you will need to go on dialysis. Christopher Costas knows all about this medical tsunami! For 38 years, he took that many pills to manage his HIV positive status. The allocation was reduced when he was accepted to the kidney transplant list at the University of Pennsylvania—down to three pills to keep him “undetected,” six throughout the day, and another six at night. He sometimes wonders if pharmaceutical companies have decided that more money can be made from maintenance programs. “If I have been able to maintain my undetectable status for so many years, there is no excuse for not being able to destroy the virus,” he says. “It’s time for all of us to demand a cure for HIV.” He continues to be an advocate for a cure to HIV and AIDS, particularly via a non-profit called World Survivor Day. Christopher has lived with HIV from age 15 but started manifesting symptoms when he was 27, getting sick from multiple directions. After the original diagnosis, doctors predicted that he would probably die within six to eight months. The family didn’t accept that prognosis and gritted their teeth for a long but dedicated ride. Looking back, Christopher focuses on his accomplishments. Initially, he went through a rebellion stage upon learning about his supposed fate—partying in New York City, dancing with the stars at Studio 54, frequenting gay nightclubs in the East Village—but ultimately attended the Philadelphia College of the Arts, and started an interior design company with a partner. A 12-page feature story in a 1994 issue of Southern Accents showed his work on a restored 18th-century Virginia log house known as Squirrel Hill. He eventually moved to Washington, Letters 74 DECEMBER 15, 2023

DC, and started his own company— Christopher Costas Interiors. They designed the America’s Cup Ball in Georgetown Park, and he helped to raise funds to find a cure for HIV. He is still active in photography online.

“…all of us who are touched by HIV and AIDS have the responsibility to share our experiences.” Despite being HIV positive and having kidney failure, Costas and his beloved parents, Marilyn and Constantine, maintain a positive attitude and grateful hearts. Constantine attributes this to the family’s faith. They are true believers and the kind of people who welcome you into their home, expected or not, and then offer you a chocolate upon leaving. They have dedicated their lives to helping Christopher. “We don’t shoot our wounded,” says Marilyn. Both of his parents are ministers. Costas’s advice about dealing with HIV is to stay positive. His saving grace has always been friends and family and especially his parents with whom he now

lives in the Lewes Plantations community. Costas built the house 22 years ago. His parents sold their nearby home when Christopher was living for a time in South Beach Miami. “Change is a constant issue with HIV,” Christopher says. “Over my lifetime, I have had to adjust to the plethora of medicines but, socially, it has often been a challenge to participate in life.” He maintains that many long-term survivors understand the roller coaster. “We have been loved; we have been feared,” he says. “We have tasted death and we have experienced resurrection. Those who have survived have lived the life of many.” The HIV.gov website states that 1.2 million people are living with HIV in the US. That includes about 300,000 longterm survivors, defined as individuals who acquired HIV before 1996. Last year, there were 3,666 people in Delaware living with HIV, according to the Delaware HIV Planning Council. December 1 was World AIDS Day, the annual event that reminds others about the global struggle to end HIV-related stigma, provides an opportunity to honor those we have lost, and raises a rallying cry to commit to working toward a day when HIV is no longer a public health threat. This year’s theme in the US was “World AIDS Day 35: Remember and Commit.” Christopher says, “all of us who are touched by HIV and AIDS have the responsibility to share our experiences.” Grateful for another chance to share his story, Christopher appreciates that CAMP Rehoboth has an opportunity “to reach the eyes and ears of so many.” ▼ Mary Jo Tarallo is a former journalist and public relations professional for various non-profits including a ski industry trade association. She won a Gold Award for a United Way TV program starring Oprah Winfrey.

WISHING THE COMMUNITY A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON FROM ALL OF US AT BEEBE HEALTHCARE

Wishing You the Best in 2024! We are here for you during the holidays and throughout the year at our two Emergency Departments and four convenient Walk-In Care Centers.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

75 Letters

CAMPsafe Serves Our Community

It’s All About Prevention! FREE Condoms—Protect Yourself!

FREE condoms (internal, external, and non-latex) and dental dams are ALWAYS available at CAMP Rehoboth and many other locations, including: Diego’s, Northbeach, Lighthouse, Freddie’s, and Aqua.

Mpox: YOU can stop the spread!

Mpox can spread through skin-to-skin contact with a person with mpox, or contact with their saliva, upper respiratory secretions, and areas around the genitals. Find the latest information on mpox and where to get your vaccines at cdc.gov/ poxvirus/mpox.

PrEP, HIV PEP, and mpox PEP

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is a medication taken on a daily basis that can reduce your chance of getting HIV. HIV PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) is a medication that must be taken within 72 hours after a possible exposure to prevent HIV. Mpox PEP reduces your chances of getting mpox after possible exposure to the mpox virus. To find out more, visit cdc.gov/hiv.

FREE WALK-IN HIV TESTING DECEMBER DRIVE—Get Tested—Enter Raffle for $100! Everyone tested at CAMP Rehoboth in December will be entered into a drawing to win $100. Bring a friend and you each will receive a ticket to enter. Check out our expanded December testing hours below. Free, rapid, walk-in HIV testing and counseling is available at CAMP Rehoboth and in western Sussex County. To request a home HIV test kit, contact tara@camprehoboth.com. CAMP Rehoboth 37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE Tel: 302-227-5620

Addiction Medical Facility 1309 Bridgeville Hwy., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-629-2300

Mondays & Tuesdays......................... 12-4 PM Wednesdays............................................1-4 PM Thursdays.................................................1-3 PM Fridays ........................................... 9 AM-12 PM Saturdays (Jan 6, 20, Feb 3)...... 10 AM-1 PM Sundays (Dec 16)......................... 9 AM-12 PM

2nd & 4th Mondays............................. 7-11 AM

ACE Peer Resource Center 20707 Dupont Blvd., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-585-4963

2nd & 4th Tuesdays..................... 10 AM-1 PM Laurel State Service Center 31039 N. Poplar St., Laurel, DE Tel: 302-227-5620*

Tuesdays.................................. 9 AM-12:30 PM

*Call CAMP Rehoboth to schedule an HIV test at the Laurel State Service Center.

ACE Peer Resource Center 547 N. Bradford St., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-628-3016

Springboard Village 411 Kimmey St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-253-8246

Thursdays................................ 9 AM-12:30 PM

2nd & 4th Mondays..................... 10 AM-1 PM

KNOW YOUR STATUS! Results in only 15 minutes! No Hassle!

Letters 76 DECEMBER 15, 2023

Higher Ground Outreach 12 E. Pine St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-470-7497

GET TESTED and get a new CAMP Rehoboth hat or sling bag! SCAN THE QR CODE for the most up-to-date testing hours and locations.

404 Rehoboth Avenue 302-227-6080 rigbysbar@gmail.com rigbysrehoboth.com

DECEMBER 15, 2023

77 Letters

DOOMED RESOLUTIONS

BY TARA LYNN JOHNSON

New Year’s Eve, 2019

h, the frivolity of younger days. Imagine looking toward a new year with enthusiasm and delight, making detailed lists of goals that will be accomplished, with only yourself to stop you or get in your way. Four years ago, that was me, and yes, four years is not a long time, and I wasn’t that much younger. But with a pandemic in between now and then, New Year’s Eve 2019 feels like a different lifetime. I feel like I’ve aged a million years since then, but in some ways, I feel even more carefree. On New Year’s Eve four years ago, I wore my favorite PJs, ate popcorn and ice cream while flipping between New Year’s shows on various TV channels, and wrote in my journal. “December 31, 2019: Tomorrow starts 2020, a year of clear vision.” I was going to get a new job. I was going to write a book. I was going to do a lot of things, until that vision was clouded by the pandemic. Obviously, 2019 wasn’t a year of clear vision, because I didn’t see the pandemic coming (and I know I’m not alone). Around Christmas that year, while enjoying my own merry making, I half-noticed news reports about a disease in China and images of people being dragged from their homes, which my brain tucked away for reasons only my inner knowing understood at the time (but didn’t let me in on). On New Year’s Eve, the only things I was concerned about were making a list of things to do in 2020, making sure the snacks lasted until past midnight, and making sure I stayed awake for the dropping of the ball on my TV Times Square. Fast forward to New Year’s Eve 2020, after eternal March followed by AprilMayJuneThroughDecember in a blur. I think I did the same thing as 2019—PJs, treats, and TV, but I don’t remember and I didn’t write it down. Considering how life altered after stay-at-home orders (and even after they lifted, I stayed at home), I kind of remember enjoying some exotic travel—from the usual TV room to the not Letters 78 DECEMBER 15, 2023

Living is enough. Breathing is enough. Just being is enough. often used even before lockdown guest room slash office. New Year’s Eve 2020 was the first year in recent memory in which I didn’t make a list of goals for the following year, though. Adjusting to a life-threatening and -altering pandemic, living in survival mode, accommodating the trauma and loss around the block and the world, and hoping a vaccine would come along to help me avoid the death that permeated the year (an unfortunate clear vision that remains to this day), not only squelched but eliminated the need to list goals to attempt to achieve during 2021. In 2020, for the first time in my memory, just living was enough. And that has continued. The pandemic brought a clarity of vision I wasn’t expecting when I made my pun about 2020. And that main lesson of the pandemic is one I heard throughout my life but that didn’t take root for me until the world came to a halt. I know people learn this lesson, if they do at all, during different trauma experiences and this one was mine.

It turns out that clear vision lesson of enough remained. Living is enough. Breathing is enough. Just being is enough. That’s the part that makes me feel carefree—everything after just being is icing on the cake. That’s the reason I think time is still flying for me, too. Looking back, I can’t believe it has been four years since I prepared for 2020 with endless clear vision puns and a list of goals to strive to achieve. And now, New Year’s 2023 approaches and will pass faster than I think and yet my goals for 2024 remain the same as they have been for the past three years: no goals. Just be. That’s enough. ▼ Tara Lynn Johnson is a freelance writer. Connect with her at taralynnjohnson.com. Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

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Ho, Ho, Home Happy Holidays! From Lana Warfield, Bailey & Midge

16712 Kings Highway, Lewes, DE Office: 302-645-6661 Cell: 302-236-2430 E-mail: lcwarfield@hotmail.com A member of the franchise system of BHH Affiliates, LLC

DECEMBER 15, 2023

79 Letters

Q Puzzle We Are All One

Solution on Page 108 ACROSS 1 Biters of Caesar’s girlfriend 5 NG: Get wind of 9 Come Back, Little ___ 14 French family member 15 Aida solo 16 Eminem’s “___ Mile” 17 Achilles’ weak spot 18 NG: Omar’s Mod Squad character 19 Pester, as Albert to Armand 20 More of a Bayard Rustin quote that begins in the title 23 Her funeral was in a recent The Crown episode 24 Queer, nongayly 28 Like Robinson Crusoe on the island 32 NG: Support group antithesis 33 Bottoms, to loafers 35 NG: Icy pellets 36 More of the quote 41 NG: City north of Anaheim 42 George, who was Mary Ann 43 Queen Elizabeth II portrayer Staunton 46 NG: Old Greek jars 51 South Beach activity 53 Riverfinger Women writer Dykewomon 54 End of the quote 58 Perineum, in slang 61 NG: Track shape

62 Nuts and bolts 63 NG: Poetry muse 64 Barneys event 65 Pick up 66 Transportation for Liberace and Elton 67 Of ___ I Sing 68 NG: Cube designer Rubik Down 1 Sap suckers 2 NG: Deem appropriate 3 Like the beginning of GWTW 4 NG: One-named Tejano singer 5 Prop for “Talking to My Angel”? 6 Sinead O’Connor’s country 7 NG: Isn’t informal 8 They hold balls in pool halls 9 Woman of La Mancha 10 Hero of a Longfellow poem 11 It gets laid only once 12 NG: Dangerous food preservative 13 NG: Long distance company, for short 21 Saint-Saen’s ___ Macabre 22 NG: Unknown degree 25 By songwriter Holly? 26 Express pleasure orally 27 NG: Immigrant’s subj. 29 NG: Average name 30 NG: Peace Nobelist Wiesel

31 Queer photographer Grace 34 Like a Muscle Mary who does sit-ups 36 Shirley MacLaine’s la Douce role 37 Shirts that say “Hate is not a family value,” e.g. 38 NG: Enter 39 Cut 40 NG: Anesthesia of old 41 NG: Lobster eater’s wear 44 NG: Says “I agree” 45 Unhappily Ever After actor 47 NG: “Ripe” stage of life 48 Tavern with naked dancers? 49 Prop for “I have a headache tonight ...” 50 NG: Refuses 52 Hamlet’s father, e.g. 55 Cole Porter’s “Well, Did You ___” 56 Hearty partner 57 NG: Toward shelter 58 ___ Aviv 59 Paul Newman role in Exodus 60 Helen Reddy’s “___ Woman”

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Worship with Community on Christmas Eve “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6 (ESV)

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81 Letters

Celebrity Profile

BY SARAH BRICKER HUNT

Black Trans Activist Raquel Willis

hen Raquel Willis took the stage at the National Women’s March in Washington, DC the day after Trump’s inauguration in January 2017, with beaming defiance and fierce resolve, she didn’t sidestep the controversial way trans women had been sidelined from the planning of the momentous occasion. “Although I’m glad to be here now, it’s disheartening that women like me were an afterthought in the initial planning of this march,” she remarked. “Many of us had to stand a little taller to be heard, and that exclusion is nothing new.” Willis has yet to let up the pressure on trans-exclusionary spaces and people since that cold winter day almost seven years ago. The Augusta, Georgia native details her life story and her ceaseless passion for advocacy in a candid new memoir, The Risk It Takes to Bloom, out now. SARAH BRICKER HUNT: You write about your advocacy work during a pivotal time, where you started down this path during the Obama era, and then along came Trump and an abrupt antiLGBTQ+ shift, politically and socially. RAQUEL WILLIS: I would say things have certainly required us to have a bit more grace and nuance. And I don’t necessarily mean that for our political figures—they are who they are. But I think living through the Trump era and being in the space where we are now, there’s a lot of grace that I’ve had to have for myself around being able to hold those things that I have anxieties or insecurities about and then also being able to kind of push forward and also draw on my power. We’re living in a time of anti-trans discrimination, where being known makes us a target. I think many in the trans community want to be seen, but I think at this time, it’s also—at what cost? What are we willing to give up? What kind of risk, speaking to the title of the book, are we willing to take to be seen or to be heard? Letters 82 DECEMBER 15, 2023

We often have these kind of black and white ideas about which spaces are conservative and which spaces are progressive. And one thing that you will quickly realize, if you’re on the margins within the margins, is that some of the spaces that we think may be the most progressive also have systems of oppression.

We’re living in a time of anti-trans discrimination, where being known makes us a target. SBH: No one wants to feel uncomfortable, but sometimes that’s what it takes, basically? RW: My whole life has been about discomfort and not necessarily in the way that I think the average person may think. So many folks paint the experience of being non-conforming or queer as some kind of internal discomfort. It’s often,

in my experience, not been so much about that internal discomfort. I think I’ve always had a feeling that I will be able to tease out whatever’s happening internally in due time if I’m given the space and grace to, but it’s that external discomfort that has often eaten up so much of my energy. I dealt with peers at a young age who didn’t understand why I was so feminine, or the discomfort I felt working, or when I was a student at the University of Georgia. Luckily, I found some LGBTQ+ community there, but I was still a Black student at a predominantly white institution and I was still the only openly trans woman student in that context in 2012, 2013. It’s that discomfort of going to Out magazine and being the first trans woman to hold a leadership position at that publication. It has been a series of discomforts in this life of mine, but I think what I’ve learned from that is that those are opportunities to evolve not only for me but for the environment to evolve for the folks around me who are invested in something tangible and different. SBH: Have you ever needed to compartmentalize some of this external pressure where people are constantly pointing out that you’re the first “this” or “that” when you’re really just trying to do your job some days? RW: I think at this point in my career, it can be comforting to understand the history, particularly trans history, and to know that there have been others who came before me. There have been trans folks trying to carve out a space in media before me. And so I can take comfort in knowing that wittingly or unwittingly, they did leave some bit of a broken pathway for me. My hope is that whatever space I enter, I am carving out a container for the next folks to not have to check off as many boxes. My hope is to make it smoother for the next people. But also, everyone is carrying some kind of anxiety. It may seem more obvious about what mine may be, as

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a Black trans woman, but it doesn’t do me any favors to forget that this white woman next to me has some anxieties, too, and probably some very similar ones. This dude over here has some anxieties, the straight person and the cisgender person. We have opportunities for connection by naming the insecurities, the anxieties, and the awkwardness that exists, so we can be on the same page. SBH: Are you noticing upcoming generations and their parents embracing topics like gender diversity and intersectionality? RW: It’s so interesting for me to see more and more parents who have young trans or nonconforming or queer or nonbinary people in their lives. And it’s a beautiful thing that these shifts are happening, which is exactly why we see such dogged political attacks in this moment. One of the throughlines for me and my activism work has been paying close attention to deaths that have happened, particularly in the trans community, and trying to turn the feelings those moments have elicited into activation. It was the suicide of 17-year-old Leelah Alcorn

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back in 2015 that really inspired me to speak up publicly for the first time about my transness because in my first role as a newspaper reporter in small-town Georgia, I was in the closet as a trans woman. And so when I was in my second job in Atlanta, Leelah’s death really pushed me to speak up, and I made this YouTube video, just talking about how it had impacted me. [After the BBC picked up the story], I had to come out to my coworkers, and luckily I was in a workplace that found that to be an empowering thing for me to do, but that was a shift. SBH: You went on to focus much of your activism on the issue of violence against trans women of color. Why did you start the Trans Obituaries Project? RW: The Trans Obituaries Project that I created in Out magazine was an opportunity for me to not only talk about this epidemic of violence but to also bring in a more investigative element like delving into the story of a 27-year-old Afro-Latina woman who died in Riker’s custody named Layleen Polanco in 2019. Her story brought a different dynamic around someone who died in state custody. I think that’s been at the heart

of talking about this epidemic of violence for me—to get folks to remember that these people lived before they were taken. I think we all kind of carry the lives of folks who have been taken, whether we were related to them, whether they were just in our community, or whether they shared some element of our identity or our experience. And I do feel like we have the opportunity to not just wallow in the grief and the mourning but to actually use whatever lane we’re in to try and make things better so that doesn’t happen again. There’re so many opportunities here for that radical change. But we have to be endlessly curious and endlessly creative about how we can make those radical changes in our lives. ▼ Sarah Bricker Hunt is a proud Eastern Michigan University alum and the managing editor for Pride Source/Between The Lines. Photo credit: Texas Isaiah

DECEMBER 15, 2023

83 Letters

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Letters 84

DECEMBER 15, 2023

85 Letters

BE A SPORT

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Tennis vs. Pickleball

ucy and Claire Hatfield stare into their refrigerator. “What about the leftover biryani?” ventures Lucy. “I had that for lunch,” Claire replies, then suggests making an omelet. Lucy makes a face. Suddenly, Claire breaks into a grin. Lucy jumps up. “The Pines it is,” she says, grabbing her jacket. The Pines is bustling. Bob McCoy and his husband, James, snag the last two seats at the bar. After ordering drinks, they catch up on their days. Claire sips her martini, asking, “Did you see the notice about a pickleball tournament?” “No. Where’s it going to be?” Lucy asks. “The community center. I think they converted more of the tennis courts to pickleball.” Claire hears a grunt and swivels on her stool. “Did you say something?” she asks the man next to her. “Pickleball.” Bob McCoy spits the word out like a piece of gristle. “And what’s wrong with pickleball?” asks Claire. Bob sees James shoot him a warning look but continues anyway. “It’s sucking up all the tennis courts. That’s what’s wrong with pickleball.” “Speaking of sucking—” Lucy interrupts Claire. “Lots of people play pickleball. It’s fun.” “Tennis is like watching paint dry,” contributes Claire. “Pickleball is a great workout.” Bob sits up straighter on the stool. “Workout? You move 18 inches back and forth for a few hours. Tennis is a real workout. And it’s been played for hundreds of years. It has a noble, royal heritage.” “Exactly,” says Claire. “Old. Stodgy. Riddled with inbreeding.” “Speaking of old, isn’t pickleball a game for old folks?” asks James. “Seems to me I’ve seen people in walkers playing it.” “Those are knee braces,” says Lucy. “Aha! From all the pickleball injuries!” says James. “Tennis causes its fair share of problems,” replies Claire, glancing at Bob, “as you well know, judging by that monorail Letters 86

DECEMBER 15, 2023

track running across your knees.” “And don’t get me started on the noise,” says Bob. “Tennis balls make a lovely, springy sort of sound, while that plastic thing goes pock, pock, pock, pock. It’s enough to drive one mad.” “Pickleball is the fastest growing sport.” Lucy says. “Kudzu is the fastest growing weed,” counters Bob. “That doesn’t make it better than roses.”

“Tennis balls make a lovely, springy sort of sound, while that plastic thing goes pock, pock, pock, pock.” “I think you’re being elitist,” says Claire. “Tennis is a rich person’s sport. Anyone can play pickleball.” “At least tennis is an actual sport. Something you can learn at breakfast and be an expert by afternoon is not a sport. And if by elitist, you mean tennis players have better manners…” “Pickleball is much more accessible. You can take a tennis court and make it into two pickleball courts for eight players.” Bob stands. “Don’t you dare!” Claire rises to face Bob and realizes she’s at least a head shorter, so the effect isn’t what she’d hoped for. She tries to step up on the bar’s footrail but loses her balance and grabs for the stool as she falls backward, landing awkwardly. “Are you OK?” Bob helps Claire stand. “Did you hurt your knee?” “Not funny,” says Lucy. “She might really be hurt.” “It’s just that I know older women break bones easily.” James stands. “Uh, Bob—” “The only thing hurt is my dignity,” says Claire, glaring at Bob as she returns to her barstool.

“Everything OK here, folks?” asks the bartender, who has been monitoring the situation. After a few mumbled yeses, the group gets quiet. Claire clears her throat. “I suppose if you’re going to insult my sport, challenge me to a barfight, and offend me with personal remarks, you’d better introduce yourself.” “I wasn’t challenging you to any barfight,” sputters Bob. “I’m Bob McCoy. And that’s my husband, James.” “See, that wasn’t so hard,” says Lucy. “That’s my wife, Claire, you just decked—” “I didn’t deck her, she fell!” “Whatever. Anyway, I’m Lucy Hatfield. I thought you said people who play tennis have good manners.” “They do,” says Bob. “The oafs who play pickleball whoop and holler like a bunch of—” “Don’t get your elbow braces in a bundle,” responds Lucy. “It’s called having fun. You tennis people are way too uptight.” “Uptight?!” “Wait a minute,” says James. They all pause. “Lucy Hatfield. Bob McCoy? Hatfields and McCoys? Ring any bells? Deadly feud that lasted, like, 30 years or something?” Lucy bursts out laughing. “That’s right! But I’d wager we could do better than that.” “It’s a bet,” says James. “Meet you here next Thursday?” “Try and stop us,” says Claire. “We’ll regale you with our pickleball tournament win and you can tell us about your torn rotator cuffs.” “We’ll be there with bells on,” says Bob. “Bells. See what I did there?” James grabs Bob’s arm. “I think our work here is done.”▼ Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

DECEMBER 15, 2023

87 Letters

Deep Inside Hollywood Justice Smith Joins Magical Satire

oung queer star on the rise, Justice Smith (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves), is taking a detour from big franchises with colons in the title—he was also in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and Pokemon: Detective Pikachu—and landing in a satire developed in the Sundance Screenwriters and Directors Lab. The comedy is called The American Society of Magical Negroes and it’s the debut feature from filmmaker Kobi Libii (who’s written and performed on Comedy Central’s The Opposition). It’s the story of a young man recruited into a clandestine group of magical Black people who devote themselves to making white people’s lives better. Co-starring David Alan Grier, An-Li Bogan, Drew Tarver, Michaela Watkins, Rupert Friend, and Nicole Byer, Focus Features picked up the film for distribution and plans to easily upset Fox News hosts with it when it drops into theaters March 2024. We’re buying advance tickets ASAP. ▼

The New Look Will Serve Fashion in 2024

n the pipeline since early 2022, The New Look, a World War II-set drama from Apple TV+, is finally ready to work the runway. Starring Ben Mendelsohn (Cyrano) as fashion icon Christian Dior and French acting legend Juliette Binoche as Coco Chanel, the stylish series will explore the rise of the house of Dior as the world was embroiled in a century-defining battle. The cast includes John Malkovich, Emily Mortimer, Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones) and Claes Bang (The Square). Given occupied France’s atmosphere of dread during the war, expect to encounter as much turmoil as tights, but all the same it probably won’t be able to help itself from delivering glamour and queer resistance to the terror of the time. Apple TV+ will drop the first few episodes on February 14 with weekly installments to follow. Now that’s a Valentine.▼

Romeo San Vicente is on your 10 Best List of 2023. Letters 88

DECEMBER 15, 2023

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

In 2024 Tammy Faye Meets Broadway

he was the singing televangelist turned talk show host turned queer ally turned legend. Tammy Faye Bakker’s life was the subject of documentary, Academy Award-winning biopic, and then stage musical from the creative team of Elton John and Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears. Olivier Award-nominated after its hit 2022 British run, now Tammy Faye is set to make its Broadway debut for the 2024-25 season. Plot-wise, it charts the way that Ms. Bakker ran up against Evangelical establishment figures in her quest to be her own unique brand of minister, one who reached out to queer audiences when no one else did. No cast news yet for the US production, but that’s coming very soon. Meanwhile, get your outfit and makeup ready: no boring looks allowed on opening night. ▼

Gus Kenworthy’s Christmas Sacrifice

he holiday slasher genre is giving gory gifts all over this season, with the grindhouse-steeped Thanksgiving and It’s a Wonderful Knife turning the memory of a classic upside down. And the trend will continue over on streaming platform Shudder when The Sacrifice Game drops. Directed by Jenn Wexler and set over the Christmas holiday at a school for girls in 1971—shades of the ’70s classic Black Christmas— it involves students (Madison Baines, Georgia Acken) staying at school for the break and dealing with a gang of strangers/killers at the door. How does queer Olympian Gus Kenworthy figure into this? Is he the house mother? A murderer? Well, that’s a spoiler, so you’ll have to catch this one yourself to find out, but this holiday is going to be blood-red. ▼ Gus Kenworthy photo credit: KathClick.

DECEMBER 15, 2023

89 Letters

The REAL DIRT

BY ERIC W. WAHL

Evermore, Everlasting, Evergreen

inter is the season that makes evergreens the star of the show. But evergreen trees have also played a significant role in various cultures throughout history, symbolizing enduring life, resilience, and the cyclical nature of the seasons. The diverse array of evergreens, each with its unique characteristics, has contributed to their widespread presence in myths, traditions, and celebrations. One iconic evergreen is the pine tree, known for its needle-like leaves and distinctive cones. In ancient Rome, the pine held particular significance in rituals dedicated to Cybele, the Mother Goddess. The tree’s evergreen nature represented the eternal life force, and its branches were often used in celebratory garlands. In more recent history, the Scots pine became a symbol of Scottish identity, depicted on the country’s royal coat of arms and embodying strength and endurance. Our native pine, the eastern white pine (Pinus strobus), is common throughout our region and performs well in buffers as a visual screen or as a specimen tree in a designed landscape. The spruce (Picea) tree, with its conical shape and evergreen needles, has deep roots in Greek mythology. The spruce was dedicated to Artemis, the Goddess of the moon, hunting, and nature. It symbolizes eternal life, resilience, and strength, and came to be a favorite for use as a Christmas tree for having such qualities. The Norway spruce (Picea abies) was commonly planted throughout our landscapes and can grow to be 60 feet tall with a fast growth rate that can be two to three feet per year. Their pendulous branches and long cones differentiate this evergreen from others. Cedar trees, revered for their fragrant wood and towering presence, have historical importance in various cultures. In ancient Mesopotamia, the Cedar of Letters 90

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Lebanon was highly prized for its timber and used in the construction of temples and palaces. Symbolizing strength and protection, the cedar also had a promi-

The Christmas tree, typically a spruce, fir, or pine, has its roots in medieval Germanic celebrations of the winter solstice. nent place in religious texts, such as the Epic of Gilgamesh. The biblical references to cedar underscore its role as a symbol of stability and majesty. The Cryptomeria, or Japanese cedar, holds cultural significance in Japan. Revered for its elegance and straight trunk, this evergreen is often associated with Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples. The Cryptomeria, or “sugi” in Japanese, is a

symbol of longevity and endurance, with some trees reaching impressive ages of several thousand years. These ancient trees are considered sacred and are protected as national treasures. The yew (Taxus) tree, characterized by its dark green needles and red berries, has a deep-rooted history in European traditions. In Celtic mythology, the yew was associated with death and rebirth, as it was believed to have the ability to live for an incredibly long time. Yew trees were often planted in churchyards, connecting the cyclical nature of life and death with the eternal qualities of the evergreen. Its red berries are lovely to look at but use caution with kids and pets for they can be toxic. Evergreens takes center stage during the Christmas season. The Christmas tree, typically a spruce, fir, or pine, has its roots in medieval Germanic celebrations of the winter solstice. The practice of decorating evergreen trees became more widespread in the 19th century, thanks to the influence of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, who popularized the tradition in England. Evergreen trees have left an indelible mark on human history, serving as symbols of endurance, life, and cultural significance. Whether found in ancient mythologies, religious texts, or modern holiday celebrations, these trees connect us to the cycles of nature and remind us of the enduring qualities that have fascinated and inspired humanity for centuries. As we appreciate and celebrate evergreens evermore, we not only honor our shared history but also find solace in the everlasting beauty of these resilient and majestic trees. Happy Holidays, and let’s garden together. ▼ Eric W. Wahl is Landscape Architect at Pennoni Associates, and President of the Delaware Native Plant Society. Photo credit: Yoksel Zok on Unsplash.com

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91 Letters

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Mark Niehaus & Brooks Honeycutt X Terry O’Bryan & Jack Musser Jeanine O’Donnell - State Farm* Gwen Osborne & Katie Handy X Porter-Gordon Family* Mark Roush & Dave Banick* Mark Schweizer & Robert Voelker George Shevlin & Jack Suwanlert* Jim Slusher & Thom Morris* Marty Smith & F. Price Connors* Frank Surprenant, DDS X John Swift & Ron Bowman X Susan Tobin & Cathy Martinson* Terry Vick & Billy Pat Clamp* Michael & Angel Welborn Mel W. & Lee M. Weller

BLUE Ronald Bass & George Robbins X Tim & Meredith Birrittella Chris Bowers* Karen Brause & Kim Sheaffer* Tony Burns X Beth Cohen & Fran Sneider X Coleen Collins & Berdi Price X Donna Davis & Gail Jackson X Connie Fox & Donna Adair* Ellan Hylton Irene & Lou Katz* Nancy & Tora Kennedy* Paul & Anne Michele Kuhns* Kim Parks & Sharon Denny Deborah Qualey & Karen Gustafson X Chris Rouchard X Mary Spencer & Kathy Lingo*

GREEN Andrew Benson & Santookh Singh Teresa Bolduc & Kim McGeown* David Bower* David W. Briggs & John F. Benton X Barry Bugg* Cheryl Buxton* Teresa Cason & Lynda Schepler X Jay Chalmers & John Potthast* Paul Christensen & Dennis Morgan* Stephen Corona* Lewis & Greg Dawley-Becker* Mike DeFlavia & Tony Sowers* Marianne DeLorenzo & Linda Van de Wiele* Max Dick* Diane Dragositz Peggy & Evie Englebert Kathy & Corky Fitzpatrick X Cynthia Flynn & Deirdre Boyle X Roland Forster & David McDonald* Bill Fuchs & Gerry Beaulieu* Wesley Hacker & David Block* John Hackett & Tom Newton* David Hagelin & Andy Brangenberg*

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Jo Hamilton & Donna Voigt* Jenn Harpel & Katie Rickards X Steve Hoult & Rick Bane X Anthony Incalcatera & James Buswold Alex IX & Gare Galbraith Nola Joyce & Brenda Eich* Jocelyn Kaplan & Idalie Adams In Memory of Adeline Kaplan X Deborah Kennedy & Beth Yocum* Eric Korpon & Steven Haber* Leslie Ledogar & Marilyn Hewitt* John J. MacDonald & Douglas James Bob Mancuso & Doug Murray James Mease & Philip Vehslage* Milan Mladjan & Michael Lakford Dennis Neason & Steve Bendyna* Kim Nelson & Lori Simmons X Fran O’Brien & David Gifford* Keith Petrack & Michael Fetchko* Anne Pikolas & Jean Charles X Gail Purcell & Sandy Kraft* Bill Rayman & Frank King* Marty Rendon & John Cianciosi* Kim Rutherford & Dalit Eyal* Douglas Sellers & Mark Eubanks* Sheila Sferrella & Cindy Wedel Joseph Steele & Chris Leady* David Streit & Scott Button* Laurie Thompson Anne Tracy & Mary Gilligan*

YELLOW Keith Anderson & Peter Bish X Dale Aultman & Paul Gibbs X Shannon & Sarah Avery* Pamela Baker & Diane Dixson* Mike Ballinger & in Memory of Martin Thomas* Miriam Barton* Chris Beagle & Eric Engelhart* Tom Beall Barbara Beavers & Kathy Carrell Michael Beigay* Sherry Berman & Deb Hamilton X Abby Bernstein & Karen Frank X Linda Bova & Bridget Bauer The Sea Bova Associates* Michael Boyle & Greg Murphy X Mary Ann Brewer Daniel Bruner & Tim Beymer David Carder* Kate Cauley & Pat Newcomb* Bob Chambers* Jim Chupella & Jim Wigand* Dottie Cirelli & Myrna Kelley* Steve Clayton & Brad Lentz* Gary Colangelo & Gerald Duvall X Nancy Commisso* Thomas Conway & Thoth Weeda* Billy Cox & John Carr* Drexel Davison - Bad Hair Day?* Fred DiBartolo & Steve Wood X Maureen Dolan & Karen McGavin*

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP 2023 Donna Dolce* Polly Donaldson Albert Drulis & Scott Silber* Sandy Duncan & Maddy Ewald* Ann Evans* Karen Faber & Lisa Balestrini Faber* Alice Fagans & Ruth Ann Mattingly X Dee Farris* Lisa Fernandez & Allison Lindon Cecily Fisher & Loretta Higgins Keven Fitzsimmons & Jeff Stroud X Monica Fleischmann & Lona Crist X Rena Frampton-Seaton* Gary Gajewski - In Memory of Dr. John A. Boscia* Susan Goudy* Ken Green & Joe Kearney* Daniel F.C. Hayes* Robert Henthorne & Roger Bolduc Carol Holland - Holland Jewelers X Nan Hunter & Chai Feldblum Philip Johnson* Frank Jump & Vincenzo Aiosa* Leigh Ann Kidd Andy Kite & Karl Martin Jay Kottoff & Mark Matey* Myra Kramer & John Hammett* Greg Kubiak* Edmund LeFevre & Keith Wiggs X Greg Lehne Judy Lettes & Sandra Sue Monica Lewis & Ann Zimmerman* David Lindeman & Andrew Phipps Frank Liptak & Joe Schnetzka* John Mackerey & Donald Filicetti* Teresa Madonna & Stacey Mazzacco Patricia Magee & Anita Pettitt X Jill Masterman & Tammy Jackson* Tony Mazzarella* Howard Menaker & Patrick Gossett X Bob Morris & James Weygandt Barbara Moulton Sandy Neverett & Pam Cranston* Pat Nickols* Paul Nye & Jerry Hofer Donna Ohle & Susan Gaggiotti X Maggie Ottato X Dotti Outland & Diane Mead X Peninsula Gallery - Tony & Carol Boyd-Heron* Joanne Picone & Kathy Bostedo* Frank Pirhalla Stephen Pleskach* Jim Pressler X Joie Rake & Nan Flesher X Charlotte Reid Gene Roe X Thomas Rose & Thomas Sechowicz X Lucien Rossignol & Tom Harris* Mark Saunders & Bob Thoman* Sheryl Schulte & Jeanne LaVigne*

Troy Senter & Stacey Chan* David Smith & Kenn Williams Susan Soderberg & Terri King X John Michael Sophos & Miss Dot Sophos* Diane Sozio & Patricia Hutchinson* Matthew Stensrud & Michael Cohen* Michael Strait & Tim O’Bar Lenny Stumpf & John B. Pitchford* Kaye Sullivan Thrasher’s French Fries* Lana Warfield & Pamela Notarangelo X Michael Weinert X Walter Welsh & Martin Thomas Steven Wunder & Rod Hastie Joanne Yurik* Larry Zeigler X John Zingo & Rick Johnson*

ORANGE Ria Allman James Apistolas & Christopher Galanty* Gwen Atwell & Marla Hoon* Romulus Barba & Dean Yanchulis* Paul Barbera & Joseph Nolan James Beal & In Memory of David Van Patter Peter Beck Susan Becker & Mary Ellen Wivel Joel Berelson & Charles Maples* Beatrice Birman & Mary Malgoire Kathy Board & Jackie Maddalena Boland Family - In Memory of Michael J. Kelly* Richard Bost & Thomas Moore* William Briganti & Gary Moore* Wendy Bromfeld* Ronald Butt & Steve Cannon* Community Bank Delaware* Mark Conheady* Lois Cortese & Jill Stokes* James Cramer Kay Creech & Sharon Still* Theresa-Ann Crivelli & Angela Murray* Lydia Croce Kenneth Currier & Mike Tyler X John D’Amico* Kathy Davison & Ruth Dickerson X Linda DeFeo X J. Lynne Dement & Lisa J. Snyder* Romy Diaz & Dennis Bann* Kevin Doss & Arie Venema* Lissa Dulany Brenda Dunn & Karen Anderson* Susan Eig & Ellen Schiff X Jeanne Embich* Robin Esham Maureen Ewadinger* Ellen Feinberg & Lesley Rogan X Paul Finn & Joseph Porporino* Continued on page 94

WAYS TO GIVE TO CAMP REHOBOTH CASH/CHECK

ONLINE GIVING

The fastest, most convenient way to make a gift to CAMP Rehoboth is to donate online at: camprehoboth.com/donate.

ERE H N SCA TE! A DON

To donate by check, please make your check payable to: CAMP Rehoboth 37 Baltimore Ave Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971

PLANNED GIFTS

MATCHING GIFT

There are a number of ways you can use planned giving to build charitable giving into your life plans, even after death. Some can even help you lower your taxable income now! Consider planning ahead now and explore some of these ways for giving after life: Bequest Planned Gift Life Insurance Qualified Retirement Plan

Matching gifts are a great way to enhance your gift to CAMP Rehoboth. Please check with your company’s human resources department to determine if your company offers matching gifts.

ESTATE AND LIFE INCOME GIFTS A charitable gift from your estate is a favored method of giving that enables you to achieve your financial goals and benefit CAMP Rehoboth.

TRANSFER FROM AN IRA If you are 70 ½ years of age or older, a transfer from an IRA may be a beneficial way to support CAMP Rehoboth.

Contact our Development Manager, Laurie Thompson, at laurie@camprehoboth.com to learn more about these ways to give. EIN # 51-0331962 © CAMP Rehoboth 2023

Give Today at camprehoboth.com DECEMBER 15, 2023

93 Letters

Continued from page 92

Deb Fox & Deb Bonneau Charlie Gable Ron Glick & Tien Pham* William Gluth & Channing Daniel* Ed Gmoch* Gail Gormley* Deborah Grant & Carol Loewen* Robert Grant & Chris Cossette Renee Guillory & Melissa Vila-Guillory Siobhan Halmos & Beth McLean* Tracey & Erica Hellman Bill Hillegeist X Vance Hudgins & Denny Marcotte* John Hulse X Janet Idema & Patricia Higgins* Marilyn Kates & Laura Glenn* Maryl Kerley X Ned Kesmodel & Matt Gaffney X Bonnie Kirkland & Wanda Bair X Rob & Jean Krapf X Robin Kroft & Elina Toole Barbara Lang & Diane Grillo* James Lawrence & Bob Palandrani Jim Lesko* Chip Logan Duncan MacLellan & Glenn Reighart* Susan Macy Amanda Mahony & Alex Albanese Robb Mapou & Mike Zufall* Marsha Mark & Judy Raynor* James Mastoris & Edward Chamberlain X Michael & Stephan Maybroda* Michael McNease Margaret Moore & Sheree Mixell X Carol Morris & Ann Abel Lisa Mosley Judy Olsen & Joanne Kempton X Sandra Oropel & Linda Frese* Carolyn Ortwein & Ann Barry* Rutland Paal & Robert Mittleman* Stephen Pape & Jerry Clark* Steve Parker* Ellen Passman X Patricia Pawling & Jennifer Butz* Rina Pellegrini Deena Pers X Russ Phipps & Stephen Jacobs* Peter Pizzolongo & Carlos Prugue* Jay Raksin* Susan Reinagel & Dawn Henderson* Pat Renninger & Tammy Plumley X Judy Rosenstein & Elva Weininger X Deborah & Charles Ross X Michael Safina & Tim Bean Joe & Nancy Sakaduski* Katherine Sams* Richard Sargent* Richard Scalenghe & Thomas Panetta* Gary Schell & Jim DiRago Carol Scileppi & Valerie McNickol* Marj Shannon & Carla Burton* Tara Sheldon* Frank Shockley & Arthur Henry* Sam Smulyan

Letters 94

Robert Stoltzfus & Gerald Warhola* Sandra Sullivan & Lorie Seaman* Terrence Sullivan Trudie Thompson James Vernicek & Jeff Dailey* Joseph Vescio Tama Viola* Don Wainwright & Tom Jamison* Troy Watson & Dennis Wolfgang* Don Wessel Ralph Wiest & Anthony Peraine* Lynne Wilmer & Jeannie Marsh Melanie Wolfe & Monica Niccolai Robert T. Wright & Jack Lim* Sherri Wright & Dick Byrne* Niki Zaldivar & Cecil McNeil X Helaine Zinaman & Roselyn Abitbol X

RED Brenda Abell X Guy Abernathey X Dale Adams Jim Affonco X Mark Aguirre & Wayne Gleason X Nancy Ahluwalla Bill Alldredge Chris Allison Stephani Allison & Judith Gorra X Katherine Alteneder Alan Anderson X Daniel Anderson & Greg Melanson Andrea Andrus & Maggie Shaw X Peter Antolini X Patricia Antonisse X Wanda Armwood & Illona Williams* Cynthia Arno Diane Athanas Josh Bach & Edward Ginley Kathleen Bailey X Christine A. Baker John Baker & Richard Latham X Ruth Ball & Mary Ellen Jankowski* Sarah Barnett Curtiss Barrows X John Batchelor X Karen Beck* Mike Behringer & Nelson Correa* Alex Belano George Benes & Michael Mallee X Suzanne Bennethum & Deborah Smith* Jeri Berc X John Berdini X Lisa Beske - In Loving Memory of Steve Elkins* Christine Bielenda & Karen Feuchtenberger* Thomas Biesiadny X Deb Bievenour & Susan Shollenberger* Lorraine Biros* Cathin Bishop & Laura Simon X Ann Black & Kaye Wachsmuth X Carol Blair* Eric Blondin - State Farm Insurance Rehoboth Beach* Jacquelyn Blue X Rev. Dr. Tom Bohache & Tom Laughingwolf Simmons X Annabelle Boire X

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Carl Bomberger & Mike Rhoads Robin Bond & Leanna Johannes* Bob Bonitati X Joy Boone & Marina Simmers X Randall Borgerson X Pete Borsari - The Pond X Nancy Bouse & Norma Morrison X David & Donna Bowman* Deni Boyer & Loretta Imbrogono* Brian Boyle & Larry Gee X Beth Bozman* Beth Bradley Jim Brady & Mike Hays X Emerson Bramble & Randy Butt* Kelly Brennan & Susan McVey* Susan Brinsfield & Barbara Devenport Debora Brooke* Kevin Brown X Lyn Brown & Winsome Boyd* Matthew Brown Charlie Browne & Rod Cook X Belinda Buras & Linda Simeone* Geoffrey Burkhart & Bruce Williams* Carol L. Burnett X Timothy B. Bush X Richard Buske & Shawn McHugh Sherry Butler James Byrnes X Robertine Cale* Debbie Cali & Maddie Cunningham* Ingrid Callmann & Karen Askins* Leslie Calman & Jane Gruenebaum* Jeanette Cammiso Pat Campagna & Debra Sansoucie Terri Campbell & Victoria Smith Michele Campisi & Julie A. Slick X Joe Canter Matt Carey X Jim Carlo X Justine Carpenter X Shirley Carpenter & Mary Coldren X Deborah Carroll & Jill Steiner Jo Cason & Peggy Neidlinger Sara Cavendish & Wendy Bunce X Denis Chandler & Sebastion DiMauro Linda Chaney & Irene Lawlor* Helen Chang & Pat Avery* Dr. Harvey J. Chasser X Mike Chateauneuf X Dan Childers & Ted Hernandez* Tom Childers & John Hall X Sandra Chinchilla & Michelle Holmes X Curt Christensen & Ellen Heald* Billy J. Christian X Dennis Chupella & Rob White X Norma K. Clark X Rob Cline Amy Clouse & Betty Long X Julie Cockley Anne Cole & Sandy Freeman Carolyn Cole & Sandy McDevitt X Stuart Comstock-Gay X Inez Conover X Bill Cooley & Ken Watkins DVM X Josh Cooper & Steve Rathburn Jeffery A. Coover X Michael Cornell X

Lois Corson X Mary Costa & Kris Nygaard* Renate Costner Becky & Tom Craft X Wendy Cramer & Carolyn Baranowski* Robert Crocetti X Bill Cross & David McCall X Madeline Cunningham & Linda Matulaitis Mark Cunningham & Ken Tattersall X Rich Custer Howard Cyr & Lynn Ashley* Ellen Dahl* William T. Darley X Denise Davis & Jeanne Bilanin Jeremiah Davis Patricia Davis Frederick Dean & Steven Swierzy X Penny Dean* Scott Dechen & James Maino* Michael Decker & Arley Jaimes X Michael DeGraffenreid Ann DeLazaro & Annette Potemski Bernie Delia X Frank Dell’Aquila X Tracy Denton & Brenda Welsh Karen DeSantis & Carol Brice* David DeVargas & Steven Champion X Henry & Marcia DeWitt X Geri Dibiase Photography* Julie Dickson X Phyllis Dillinger Tony DiMichele & Jeff Smith* Mary Dipietro & Wendy Schadt* Deb Dobransky & Ketty Bennett* Arthur Dochterman X David & Lizann Dockety X Peg Dolan & Mary McDevitt X Millie Donnell Frances Doyle X Paul Dradransky X Michael Driscoll & Ben McOmber X Arlyce Dubbin & Kathleen Heintz* Susan Dube & Diana Patterson* Barry Dunkin* Deborah Duran Gene Dvornick X John Eckardt Eden Restaurant X Claire Edmondson & Louise Bylicki Richard Egler Gail Elliott & Bea Hickey* Pamela Elliott* W. Kay Ellis* LeAnn Erickson & Julie Rasmussen Lisa Evans & Joann Gusdanovic X Susan Farr & Joanne Pozzo* Jane Farrell Rene Fechter & Cynthia Smith* Larry & Ro Fedorka* Karen Ferguson* Virginia Fessler* Jayne Fetterman* Irene & Edward Fick* Louise Fickel & Robin Mullican Ben Ficks & Bob Angell Allen Fred Fielding X Jerry Filbin*

Mark Finkelstein & Michael Zeik X Rick Fischer X Barbara Fischetti & Janet Thoden Gary Fisher & Josh Bushey* Chuck Flanagan X Paul Florentino & Chris Pedersen X Sandra Fluck & Bev Pasquarella* Mary Ford & Judy Hedrick X Phil Fretz X Neil Frock & Bob Harrison* Marilyn Fuller & Teresa Marigliano Susan Furman Cathy Gaiser Nina Galerstein* Marcia Gallo & Ann Cammett Jerry Gallucci & Conrad Welch* Karen Gantz & Jeanie Geist* Kathryn Gantz & Kathryn Gehret Alexis Gardner Annette Gardner Peter Garneau & Dennis Rodriguez Ed Gasper Mindy Gasthalter* Wilson Gates X Charles George & Dennis Rivard X Tracey Gersh & Amy Johnson Gary Gillard X Joan Glass X Angela & Cheryl Glodowske Karen Glooch X Jane Godfrey* Randall Godwin X Jackie Goff & Mary Vogt X Dave Gold & In Memory of James Yiaski X Suzanne Goldstein & Dana Greenwald X Milton Gordon & Bill Hromnak X Teresa Gordy & Barb Ford X Dan Goren & Peter Robinson X Anita Gossett & Ronnie Smith* Robert Gotwalt & Norman Jones* Bill Graff & Jeff Schuck* Lisa & Raymond Graff* Richard Green & Asi Ohana X Joe Greenhall & Tom Klingler Harvey Grider Richard Grifasi X John Grillone & Paul Schlear, Jr. X Joseph Gritz X Carol Gross X James Gross X Richard & Frances Grote* Paula Grubbs X Timothy Gualdoni Helene Guilfoy X Bill Gunning & Joe Greoski X Jay Haddock & Hector Torres* Gerard M. Haley & George D. Zahner X Cynthia Hall X Mark Hare & Mike Newman X Kelley Harp X Sue Claire Harper David Harrer & Floyd Kanagy* Thomas F. Harris, II Mary Hartman & Laurie Nelson Jeff Haslow X Janece Hausch* John & Mary Havrilla* Continued on page 96

2024 EVENTS Save The Dates For more than 30 years CAMP Rehoboth has served the LGBTQ+ and wider community in Sussex County. We rely on the generous support of businesses, corporations, foundations, members, donors, and volunteers to fulfill our vision to create proud and safe communities where gender identity and sexual orientation are respected.

WE INVITE YOU TO JOIN US FOR OUR UPCOMING 2024 EVENTS

2024

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

April 25 - 28, 2024

August 31 - Sept. 1, 2024

2024

THANK YOU! Your support ensures that we can continue outreach to advocate and educate within the LGBTQ+ community. For more information and for sponsorship opportunities, please contact Development Manager Laurie Thompson at laurie@camprehoboth.com

2024 October, 2024

302.227.5620 camprehoboth.com 37 Baltimore Avenue Rehoboth Beach DE 19971

DECEMBER 15, 2023

95 Letters

Continued from page 94

Christine & Brooke Havrilla-Downes Nancy Hawpe Ceil Hearn & Liv Ault* Gail Hecky* Barb & Len Hedges-Goetti Leslie Hegamaster & Jerry Stansberry* Linda Heisner X David Herchik & Richard Looman X Fred Hertrich X Howard Hicks & Stephen Carey X Helen Hilderbrandt Barbara Hines & Nancy Froome X Howard C. Hines, MD X Karen & Mickey Hinman Janel Hino & Patricia Ann Scully X Mary Hoban Derrick Hodge Connie Holdridge* Christine Holloran James & Edna Holsinger Chris Holt & Emory Bevill X Mollyne Honor & Shelley Garfield* Larry Hooker X Mary Anne Hoopes & Dianna Johnston* James T. Hopkins X Elaine Horan & Debbie Sciallo X Frank Hornstein & Mark Henckel X James Hospital & Jack Fraker* Robert Hotes X Corey Houlihan & Karen Abato Deborah Hrab Karen Hugues & Cathy McCallister X Batya Hyman & Belinda Cross* Thomas Ingold X Claire Ippoliti X Chris Israel & John Stassi X Debbie Isser & Fran Leibowitz* Geoffrey Jackson & Will Delany X Fay Jacobs & Bonnie Quesenberry X Sharon Janis X Steve Janosik X Kathy Jantzen & Debi Cunn* Robert Jasinski* Mary Jenkins & Laura Reitman Susan Jimenez & Cathy Benson* Chip Johnson - In Memory of Joseph Lachac* Donna A. Johnson* Jim Johnston* Richard Jolly & Charles Ingersoll X Gay Jones & Barb Bartels Glenn Jones X Sandra Jones* Tom Jones X Beth Joselow Wayne Juneau X Mick Kaczorowski X Darleen Kahl & Susan Poteet* Bob Kaplan & Jeff Davis X Daphne Kaplan & Steve Scheffer* Sharon Kaplan & Pamela Everett* Amylynn Karnbach - One Day At A Time Gifts, LLC* Dawn Kasow Jennifer & Michaele Kayes Peter Keeble & Tom Best*

Letters 96

Donald Kelly* John Kelly & Randy Sutphin X Michael J. Kelly X John Kennedy* Hunter Kesmodel X Laurie Kessler & Jennifer Ierardi Tom Ketterman Marge Keyes & Julie Arenstein X Charlotte King* Jim King Lloyd Kingswell & Frank Rogers X Jane Knaus & Cindy Myers* Lisa Koenigsberg & Christa Marks Karen Konkel Stephen Kopp* John Kort & Hung Lai* Marcia Kratz* Karen Kreiser & Beth Nevill* Kevin W. LaBarge X Beth Lake Cheryl Landry & Lisa Corrado Peter Lanzaro & Frank Bodsford X Gail Larabee Dr. Mathilda Laschenski & Dr. Kathleen Heacock X Ruth Lauver & Judy Wetzel* Kate Lavelle X Carol Lazzara & Sheila Maden* Charlie Lee X Tara Leek Jon Leeking & Dieulifete Jean* Monica Lehman & Cathy Amberman Lisa Lekawa Charles & Matthew Lentz Jen Leonard & Claire McCracken* Cecelia & Robert Leto Marsha Levine & Susan Hamadock X Arlene & Ginny Levy-Balmforth Barbara Lewis Barbara Lilien* Michael Linardi & Dean Tyson Alexander Lincoln Cindy Lins & Diane Milam Jamie Lipinski & Lisa Lintecum Duwayne Litz X Eleanor Lloyd & Celeste Beaupre* Robert E. Long X Cynthia Lowe & Rae von Doehren* Debbie Lupton & Ramona Dobbs* Becky Lyons & Ebie Hamrick X Tina Maddox & Susan Green Joe Maggio X Bernadette Maher & Cheryl Tarlecky* Jack Maher X Barbara Mahoney Eddie Major X Bruce Majors X Scott Mallan & E.B. Easter Harvey Manchester X Domenic Mannello X Anyda Marchant X Harold Marmon & Robert Hill* Norma Martin X Nan Martino* John Matthews & Nick Polcini* Eric Matuszak X Ashley & Lauren Mayer Linda Mazie & Terry Koff

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Donna McCabe & Mac Ignacio X Kathleen McCormick & Elizabeth Fish X Mary McElhone & Nancy Kaiser X Thomas McGlone X Ellen McKeon* Joe McMahon X Jeanne Ann McManus & Robin Robertson Anita McMullin Joseph McNally & Terry Jones X Charlotte McNaughton Chuck McSweeney & Michael Clay X Jim & Bruce McVey-Back* Buck Melton X Wayne Messick & In Memory of John Messick X Alicia Mickenberg & Kathleen Fitzgerald* Jamie Middelton* Dr. Phyllis J. Mihalas X Melissa Milar* Alicia Miller & Shawn Noel* Bruce R. Miller & Dean D. LaVigne X Frank Miller X Marilyn Miller & Candice Zientek* Robin Miller Shelly Miller Todd Miller X Doreen Millon & Julie Boughn Lee Wayne Mills & Don Gardiner X Stan Mills & Marcia Maldeis X Linda Miniscalco & Jeanne Drake* Martha Monell Andrea Monetti & Karen Petermann* Sue Monismith X Teri Moore & Barb Kulbaba* Mary Morgan & Beth Fitton X Meg Morgan & Susan Lynham X Richard Morgante & Edward McHale* Maryellen Morris Pearl Morris* Richard Morris Jack Morrison & Bob Dobbs* Barry Moshinski & Robert Ponzini Andrew K. Moss & Richard Blevins X Brent Mundt X Joanie Murphy Marie Murray & Deb Ward X Robert Murray Cynthia Myers* Marc Nasberg & Howard R. Nelson X Noelle Navarro Keith Neale X Cindy Necaise & Debbie Cole X Darrell Netherton & Robert Wheeler X James Newkirk & Leon Wilkowsky* Janet Newkirk X Arletta Nicholl & Mary Anderson* Scott Nickle* Konrad Noebel, MCAT, LMT & Brian Cox* Teri Noel* Janet Nosal X James O’Dell X

James O’Malley X Richard O’Malley X Missy Orlando & Patty Violini X Jeffrey & Lisa Osias X Kathy Osterholm* Randy Overbaugh X Sally Packard & Dinah Reath X Richie Pagnotta X Bud Palmer X Fran Panzo & Karen Groething Diane Pasatieri Marilyn Pate & Dorothy Smith* Emilie Paternoster & Monica Parr X Carol Patterson & Carol Hughes X Tim Patterson & Harvey Sharpe X Lucille & Dan Payne* Michelle Peeling & Wendy Adams* Roy Perdue X Al Perez & Gary Kraft* Colleen Perry & Jane Kuhfuss* Grace Pesikey & Janet Urdahl* Susan Petersen & Luz Cruz Don Peterson & Jeff Richman X Eric Peterson X Elizabeth Petitte & Erin Reid Bruce Pfeufer X PFLAG-Rehoboth Beach* Peggy Phillips & Norma McGrady* Frank Pileggi & Jon Blackman X Mark Pipkin & Karl Zoric* Terry Plowman X Trudy Portewig & Luanne Schinzel Linda Porto & Linda Tobin Roni Posner X Sue Potts & Karen Kohn X Timothy Price & Gerard Sealy X Sarajane Quinn* Jean Rabian & Ralph Hackett X Elaine Raksis & Maxine Klane* Barb Ralph X Rob Ramoy X Bob & Mary Beth Ramsey X Linda Rancourt & M. Sue Sandmeyer* Lewis Rathbone* Julie Rathman & Sandra Eagles Nancy Ratner & Linda Feinman James Raynor & John Kolonko Carole Redman Janet Redman X Carolyn Redmon & Nancy Allen* Randy Reed X Rehoboth Art League* Peter S. Reichertz X Ken Reilly & Tony Ghigi X Virginia Reime & Gene Tadlock* Jeff Reinhart & Jack Miller* Don Reppy Thomas Resh & Jeffrey Meyers X Judith Retchin & Elyse Wander X Deborah Reuter & Deborah Bea* Sarah Reznek & Babette Pennay Sandie Riddell & Eileen Siner* Patricia Ridge* Marion Ridley & Mark Lundy X Ronica & John Ridley-Martin Linda Rikard & Mary Jo Tarallo Keith & John Riley-Spillane X Heather & Cathy Rion Starr Joel Robbins & Michael Linder X

Sandra Robbins X William Robbins & Gary Ralph* Robert Kovalcik & Bob Howard X Sandy Roberts X Rob Robertson & Carlos Taylor X Teri & Amy Robinson-Guy* Craig Rocklin X Tim Rodden & Randy Clayton X John & Susan Roehmer* Chris Rogahn Jeanne Rogers* Roy Rollins X Lauren Romig X Debbie Ronemus & Peggy Sander* Ed Rose & Sandra Robbins X Michael Rose & David Le Sage Peter Rosenstein X Larry L. Ross X Mary Rossettini & Kathleen Taylor Ellen & Terry Roth Perreault X Barb Rowe X Ski Rowland & Gary Mosher X Joan Rubenstein X Herbert Russell* Kelly Sabol* Steve Sage & Thom Swiger X Margaret Salamon* Kim Schilpp* Nancy Schindler & Eric Youngdale Michael Schlechter & Kevin Sharp X Rosemarie Schmidt & Carolyn Horn X Sharon Schmitt* Holly Schneider & Linda Haake* Jaime Schneider & Glenn Randall X Peter Schott & Jeffrey Davis* Carol Schwartz & Robert D. Tyler X Craig Schwartz & William Pullen X Diane Schwarz John Scotti & Greg Landers* David Scuccimarra & Dorothy Fedorka* Shirley Semple* Joann Seppelt & Deb Adrian Dale Sheldon & Pat Coluzzi X Banner Sheppard & Marlin Hubler Kelly Sheridan & Debra Quinton* David Sherman X Frank Silverio X Marc Silverman & John Campbell* Sandra Skidmore X Ken Skrzesz X Jeffrey Slavin X Anne Smith & Lisa Taylor Carol Smith* Harlan Joe Smith & Dustin Abshire* Leonard Smith X Roseanne Smith & Brenda Butterfield* Rich Snell X Sandra Sommerfield & Cindy Scott X Jim Spellman X Lorraine Stanish & Beverly Miller* Christine Stanley & Joyce Rocko* Christy Steer X Frank Sterner X Diane Stetina Shelley Stevens & Joanne Locke Lisa Stewart X Continued on page 99

Please Support CAMP Rehoboth with a Year-End Gift. Pride in Progress: Embrace. Empower. Evolve. Your gift will help keep CAMP (Creating a More Positive) Rehoboth as a vital resource that continues to serve the LGBTQ+ community. Your generosity will enable us to further our mission to seek and promote cooperation and understanding among all people, as we work to build a safer community with room for all.

This year we have an exciting opportunity thanks to long-standing supporters, Wes Combs and Greg Albright, who have stepped forward with a $5000 Matching Gift. Any gift made between now and December 31st, will be matched dollar for dollar.

YOUR GIFT OF: ► $50 will double to $100

► A contribution of $100 will grow to $200

► A most generous gift of $500 will be matched dollar for dollar and become $1000

Our heartfelt thanks to all who are able to contribute to our Year-End campaign!

IF YOU PREFER TO DONATE ONLINE, please visit camprehoboth.com and scan the QR code to the right. If you are interested in learning about our Planned Giving and Legacy Giving options, please contact Laurie Thompson at laurie@camprehoboth or call 302.227.5620.

37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 302.227.5620 | camprehoboth.com

DECEMBER 15, 2023

97 Letters

Join us! Become a member today!

Support our mission.

Join with others to continue our mission of celebrating diversity and building a strong community for all. 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | 302.227.5620 | camprehoboth.com Letters 98

DECEMBER 15, 2023

Continued from page 96

Libby Stiff & Bea Wagner X Russell & Patricia Stiles* Terry Stinson* Tracy Stith & Laura McCarthy Dr. Frederick C. Stoner* Michael Stover* Christine Strauss X Lois Strauss X Jackie Sullivan & Sharon Padbury Gail Tannenbaum & Wendy Walker* Ronald Tate & Jacob Schiavo X Susan & Jill Taylor Micaela Tedford X David Thomas & David Tiburzio X The Hon. Henry E. Thomas IV & John-Kevin Litschgi X Thomas Tibbetts X Otto F. Tidwell X Cassandra Toroian X Manny Tortosa X Steve Touzell & Marshall Scott Beadle Cheryll & Bill Trefzger* Steve Triglia X Roz Troupin & Mary Harris X Patricia Truitt* Matt Turlinski & Jerry Sipes X Ed Turner & Steve Baker X Judy Twell & Cheri Himmelheber* Charles Tyrrell Bruce Uliss X Michael Utasi Debra Van Dyke* Jennifer Varone* V. James Villareale & In Memory of Dale Ebert* Beverly Vogt & Waneeta Mack X Patrick Wadsworth & Mike Converse X Scott Wagner & John Sohonage* Marianne Walch X Jennifer Walker & Mary Ann Veitch X Paula Walker & Gayle Dumonceaux David Wall & Robert Houck* Valerie Walters Kenneth E. Walz & Robert G. Ward, Jr. X Garold Wampler X Michael E. Ward X Sharyn Warwick X Ellen Watkins X Debbie Webber & Terry McQuaid* West Side New Beginnings Donna West Patricia West Carl R. Wetzel X Steve White X Thomas White & Robert Freeman X Phil & Stephanie Wikes* Steven Wildasin Keith Wilkinson X Diane & Ken Williams Jim Williams* Rich Williams X Kelly Williamson & J Ellis Donna L. Wilson & Laurie R. Levin X Lynn Wilson* Sue Wilson David Wolanski*

Max Wolf X Carol Woodcock & Carol Lewis* Cody Woodfin & Rich Morgan Robert B. Wright X Alexander G. Yearley X Linda Yingst* Vickie York X Kay Young James Zeigler & In Memory of Sam Deetz* Lisa Zimmerman X

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP Join today to support our mission! RAINBOW MEMBERS RECEIVE:

X Founders’ Circle 10 X years * Members five years or more

Names in bold are new or upgraded members as of December 3, 2023 Founders’ Circle designation has been added to our Membership roster. Please send kudos, questions, or listing updates to membership@camprehoboth.com.

• Basic Membership Package - Advance ticket sales to CAMP Rehoboth events - Recognition in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth - Rainbow Member window cling(s) - Weekly “What’s Happening at CAMP” email • Discount on CAMP Rehoboth Event Tickets for Levels Green and above (as noted) • Free Health Screenings, Counseling Services, and Support Groups • Youth, Adult and Senior Programs, Services and Outreach • The satisfaction of knowing you are helping others!

PAY ANNUALLY or MONTHLY

☐ PURPLE LEVEL ☐ $2400 annual or ☐ $200 monthly

Basic + 25% ticket discount and one 1/4 page ad in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

☐ INDIGO LEVEL

☐ $1200 annual or ☐ $100 monthly Basic + 20% ticket discount

☐ BLUE LEVEL

☐ $900 annual or ☐ $75 monthly Basic + 15% ticket discount

☐ GREEN LEVEL

☐ $600 annual or ☐ $50 monthly Basic + 10% ticket discount

☐ YELLOW LEVEL ☐ $300 annual or ☐ $25 monthly ☐ ORANGE LEVEL ☐ $180 annual or ☐ $15 monthly ☐ RED BASIC

☐ $50 annual or

☐ YOUNG ADULT (18-25 years old) NAME

☐ Basic Dual/Family, $85 annual ☐ $25 annual PARTNER/SPOUSE NAME

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99 Letters

HOMEL(LESS) FOR THE HOLIDAYS

BY STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

Be a Holiday Miracle

o matter what holidays you’re celebrating this winter, you’re probably visiting the homes of family and friends, or hosting them at yours. As the song goes, “there’s no place like home for the holidays!” But for many people, especially members of the LGBTQIA+ community, ideas of home can be complicated. Many queer individuals may be estranged from biological family, and instead seek to come together with chosen family on festive occasions to help keep their spirits bright. Unfortunately, many LGBTQIA+ people won’t have any home to call their own this holiday season: the experience of homelessness disproportionately affects LGBTQIA+ individuals, particularly youth. Chapin Hall, a policy research institute focusing on children and families, found that 40 percent of youth experiencing homelessness in the United States identify as LGBTQIA+, even though LGBTQIA+ individuals represent only an estimated seven percent of the overall population. According to the Trevor Project, 28 percent of LGBTQ youth reported experiencing homelessness or housing instability. What leads to this overwhelming disparity between the experiences of LGBQTIA+ individuals and those who are cisgendered and heterosexual? A study of 350 organizations serving those who have run away and/or are homeless found four primary causes for homelessness and housing instability among LGBTQIA+ youth: 1) family conflict, 2) physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse, 3) aging out of foster care, and 4) financial and emotional neglect. Significant hurdles affect some members of our community more than others. The National Network for Youth shared that among queer individuals, BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) youth have an 83 percent higher risk of experiencing homelessness than their white-identifying counterparts. Everyone’s story is different—and Letters 100

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that includes the stories of folks who have found themselves homeless or with housing instability. However, LGBTQIA+ individuals also face more barriers when trying to obtain

…homelessness disproportionately affects LGBTQIA+ individuals, particularly youth. housing stability including discrimination, harassment, and violence on the streets, as well as unequal access to volunteer and professional service providers. Overcoming homelessness is also made more difficult for LGBTQIA+ people in the United States because we still lack legal protections that can dramatically impact housing, employment, and health care. What are ways you can help? SPEAK UP

Change starts with awareness. Sadly, though, many people are totally unaware of serious societal issues unless they, or those in their orbit, are directly

affected. In order to minimize the risk of homelessness for LGBTQIA+ individuals, we need to raise awareness within our own communities as much as we do outside of them. In addition to starting one-on-one conversations, we can also engage in dialogues at the institutional level. Many organizations that provide life-saving services may not fully support those who identify as LGBTQIA+, perhaps because of a lack of trauma-informed care, inadequately trained staff, and unofficial discriminatory policies and attitudes. Check in with your local service providers to make sure that they’re able to provide support that meets the needs of LGBTQIA+ clients. Of course, you can also create conversations at the state and federal levels, too. We still don’t have equal protection under the law—a foundational issue contributing to LGBTQIA+ homelessness. GIVE BACK

Fortunately, there are organizations dedicated almost exclusively toward ending LGBTQIA+ homelessness. Those working to create change include True Colors, founded by Cyndi Lauper; the Ali Forney Center; and Point Source Youth. The Trevor Project, GLAAD, National LGBTQ Task Force, and PFLAG also dedicate some of their many efforts to ensuring no LGBTQIA+ person has to wonder where they’re going to lay their head at night. If you are lucky enough to be home for the holidays, consider giving back by volunteering your time or making donations through one of your favorite non-profit organizations. One small act from you could be a holiday miracle for someone else. ▼ Stephen Raskauskas is a Sussex County native who has produced content for radio, TV, digital, and print. Photo: Jon Tyson on Unsplash.

Advisor to philanthropists. Trusted partner and resource to professional advisors. “Although I’m by no means independently wealthy, this legacy fund makes it possible to benefit a wider community. I leave it up to the DCF’s professionalism to get word out to various agencies that need funds for projects.” Anonymous Donor, founder of the Heart to Heart Fund for Preservation of African-American Traditions on the Delmarva Peninsula

At the Delaware Community Foundation, we help donors and their professional advisors make savvy decisions about charitable giving to maximize tax advantages and community impact.

To learn more, contact Mike DiPaolo, vice president for Southern Delaware, at mdipaolo@delcf.org or 302.335.6933.

delcf.org/daf DECEMBER 15, 2023

101 Letters

The reviews are in! “My husband and I were very pleased with your clear and informative webinar.” ~Robert M. “Thank you for the information session. It was well presented and I learned a lot.” ~S.N.

YOUR JOURNEY, YOUR CHOICE Springpoint Choice is a membership-based program for healthy adults age 55 and older who wish to secure a personalized plan as they age at home. As a member, you can: • plan for long-term care so you can remain in your own home as long as possible • avoid being a burden to your loved ones regarding your long-term care needs • access quality long-term care and advocacy, if ever needed • preserve and protect your financial assets Boost your health and stay active: members enjoy social, wellness, and community activities and programs at Springpoint’s eight Life Plan Communities in New Jersey and Delaware. Each member has a personal care navigator who will work with you and your family when care needs arise.

For more information please call: 866-616-3084 or visit springpointchoice.org 17028 Cadbury Circle, Lewes, DE 19958 • springpointchoice.org Letters 102

DECEMBER 15, 2023

rehoboth museum ad 28-02_Layout 1 3/30/2018 2:11 PM Page 1

windsor's 28-02_windsor's 14-15.qxd 3/30/2018 2:26 PM Page 1

“WHERE FLOWERS SPEAK A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE” FLORIST SHOP • GREENHOUSES 20326 Coastal Highway • Rehoboth Beach, DE (Next to Arena’s Café)

302-227-9481

DECEMBER 15, 2023

103 Letters

TALKING TRASH (and Recycling)

BY JEFFREY DANNIS

The Joys of Composting

hen people hear that I compost, many think that’s a nice thing to do, but they don’t understand how much I enjoy composting. My husband laughs at how much I love to play in the dirt, but for me, it is about creating something useful out of what many people consider a waste product. I am passionate when I talk about the process of decomposition and the many benefits of using compost. Compost is a soil amendment. It is manufactured through the controlled aerobic, biological decomposition of biodegradable materials. Feedstocks can include leaves, grass, shredded wood, food scrap, manure, or biosolids. It often smells woodsy. It is a key component in organic food cultivation and restoration of soils. In our backyard compost bin, we compost fall leaves, grass clippings, and food scrap from our kitchen. Notice I use the term “food scrap,” because we treat it not as waste, but an input to its next form in the natural recycling process. Remains from Thanksgiving and other fall items go into our bin. Decorative pumpkins should be cracked and placed in the compost pile (not the garbage), along with those wilted flower arrangements and the front step mums that are past their prime. All may need a little cutting or breaking up to make composting easier. After the holidays, you will often find me (on the occasional nice days) out at the compost bin, shovel or pitchfork in hand, turning and mixing the pile. There may be nothing growing in our garden, but mixing gives me an opportunity to get my hands dirty. My husband watches from the sunroom, shaking his head. He does not participate in the turning of the compost in the bin, nor the distribution of the final product. But he does not mind putting the eggshells, banana peels or other food scrap in our countertop tub nor bringing it out to the bin. By late spring and with a load of fresh Letters 104

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grass clippings mixed in, the compost is an even rich brown material ready for mixing into our beds or spreading on our lawn. The raw materials did not end up in a landfill where they would create greenhouse gases; rather, they are making my garden grow better.

Raising the organic matter in your yard soil by one percent can add an additional 30,000 gallons of rainwater storage per acre. When compost is added to soil, it adds to the organic matter in the soil and adds millions of microbes which add biodiversity and reinforce the nutrients in the soil. Ideally, your yard topsoil should be four to five percent organic matter, but in many cases, homebuilders just regrade the soil excavated for the building foundation and do not restore the topsoil. This leaves the surface soil as sand or clay with just seed or sod thrown on top. Most unamended lawn soils are one to three percent organic matter. Not only does compost add organic matter, but it often acts like a sponge, helping soils hold water. Raising the organic matter in your yard soil by one percent can add an additional 30,000 gallons of rainwater storage per acre. This reduces urban runoff, encourages groundwater recharge, and reduces the need for sprinkler systems. You can make compost in your backyard, purchase compost by the bag at your local hardware store, or buy it in bulk from a gardening center. If you work with a landscaper, they can bring it and spread it for you. Ask them to spread a ¼ inch on your lawn and rake it in. It is best to spread the compost after you

have aerated your lawn. This allows the compost to work into the holes created by the aeration instead of being spread just on the surface. While compost has some nutrients, it is not really a fertilizer. But the low levels of nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium (NPK) it contains will deepen the green of your lawn. For us, we do all of the above. Our backyard compost is spread across our backyard and incorporated in our flower beds. In the past, we have bought compost in bulk and spread it on the front lawn. The pile of compost in our driveway was distributed relatively quickly. Commercial compost is made with hot temperatures and screened for an even size. Most backyard bins, mine included, make good compost, but do not get hot enough to destroy the tomato and squash seeds that are occasionally added with food scrap, and sometimes they sprout where the compost is placed. (No harm done as mowing solves that issue.) While there are many bins out there for composting, the Sussex County Cooperative Extension office sells bins for $20 as subsidized by Delaware Solid Waste Authority. They can be reached at 302-856-7303. They and local Master Gardeners will be glad to talk compost with you if you decide you want to start. It is a bit of effort. But to me, making something that improves my lawn and gardens while reducing potent greenhouse gases is worth my effort. You may find it worth yours, too. ▼ Jeff Dannis is a Delaware professional engineer, nutrient consultant, and certified composter. He can be reached at FitnessEngineering.net or at Jeff.Dannis.FE@ outlook.com.

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DECEMBER 15, 2023

105 Letters

WE REMEMBER John Siegfried

Barbara G. Rowe

ohn Daniel Siegfried, M.D., of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, passed away at his home, surrounded by the friends, family, art, and plants that he loved, on Monday, November 6, 2023. John was born in Allentown, Pennsylvania, on January 18, 1930. He attended Muhlenberg College in Allentown, and the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Medicine. John went to the University of Indianapolis for an internship, followed by residency at Germantown Hospital in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In 1956, John married the late Sybil Smith Siegfried from Coolidge, Georgia. He served as a physician with the public health service for three years. For the next several years, John was a partner with Plymouth Pediatrics in Norristown, Pennsylvania, and had a weekly clinic at Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia. John and Sybil moved to Saudi Arabia in 1980 where John started as Chief of Pediatrics and then was made Chief of Staff. Back in the US, John became Medical Director at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals. After 37 years, John and Sybil divorced in 1993. John started a new position with Pharmaceutical Manufacturers Association and was responsible for helping get new HIV/AIDS medications through the FDA approval process. He moved to Washington, DC, where he met Howard Apperman. John and Howard moved to Rehoboth Beach for a few years, then to Fort Lauderdale. They married and were together for 27 years until Howard’s death in 2017. John enjoyed a strong, supportive group of friends, regular visits with family, and a number of volunteer and social activities. He wrote columns for Letters from CAMP Rehoboth and the Fort Lauderdale Prime Gentlemen’s newsletter and was a founding Letters 106

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member of the South Florida Lesbian and Gay News. He published his autobiographic book, Gay & Gray: A Journey of Self-Acceptance, in 2011. He was a member of an active writers’ group for 15 years. John is survived by his children: Kathleen of Tavares, Florida, David (Debbie) of Winchester, Virginia, and Stephen (Heidi) of Waxhaw, North Carolina; grandchildren Tamika Siegfried, Emma Siegfried (Franz Mendonsa), Graham Siegfried (Mary), Audrey Siegfried Cruz (Paul Cruz), and Jacob Siegfried; great-grandchildren Hugo Mendonsa and Ronan Cruz; and other family and friends too numerous to mention. A Celebration of Life Service will be held Sunday, February 3, 2024, at 2:00 pm, at the Pride Center at Equality Park, 2040 N. Dixie Highway, Wilton Manors, Florida 33305. The family requests in lieu of flowers that donations be made in John’s name to: The Pride Center at Equality Park: pridecenterflorida. org or The American Indian College Fund: info@collegefund.org, 8333 Greenwood Blvd. Denver. Inquiries: Kathleen Siegfried (John’s daughter) at: GreenBudBooks@gmail.com. ▼

arbara Gwendolyn “Barb” Rowe, 88, of Millsboro passed away Thursday, November 9, 2023, at Renaissance Healthcare in Millsboro. She was born March 28, 1935, in Cleveland, Ohio, daughter of the late Howard J. Rowe and Helen (Black) Rowe. Barb lived in Cleveland until she was about eight years old, when her father was transferred to Pittsburgh. Barb earned a bachelor’s degree in biology from Denison University in Granville, Ohio. She then furthered her education, obtaining a master’s degree from Walsh College. Barb enjoyed an illustrious career as a virologist, working for such companies as Parke Davis Pharmaceutical Company (now Pfizer) for over 20 years, as well as working in the lab at Children’s Hospital, retiring after many dedicated years in the pathology field. Barb’s hobbies were active and constructive. Beginning early in life, she enjoyed running, photography, traveling, and orienteering, and was an avid rock and gem collector. She believed in giving back to her community and offered her time often to those in need, volunteering with AARP to prepare people’s taxes for free. While living in Rehoboth Beach for the past 20 years, she volunteered at Beebe Hospital and Rehoboth Beach Public Library, and sang in the Epworth United Methodist Church Chancel Choir. A nurturer at heart, Barb was a devoted animal lover and had many pets in her lifetime. Her presence will be dearly and genuinely missed by all who were fortunate enough to know and love her. In addition to her parents, Barb was predeceased by her longtime companion, Pat Hansen. She is survived by her sister, Linda Rowe, and her best friend, Judith Brooks, both of Palms, Michigan, and several cousins. Barb’s family would like to acknowledge and thank Cathy Benson and Susan Jimenez for their loving care of Barb over the past few years as her health declined, as well as members of Epworth United Methodist Church who visited, and sent cards and letters to her. A memorial service was held December 13, at Epworth United Methodist Church. Visit Barb’s Life Memorial webpage and sign her virtual guestbook at parsellfuneralhomes.com. ▼

DECEMBER 15, 2023

107 Letters

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Letters 108

DECEMBER 15, 2023

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VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES MEETING Looking to learn more about what it means to volunteer for CAMP Rehoboth? Stay tuned for the 2024 Volunteer Opportunities Meeting schedule, with the first meeting slated for February. That meeting will focus on volunteer needs at Women’s FEST.

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ADVOCACY TEAM Daniel Bruner David Garrett Leslie Ledogar Sherri McGee ARTS TEAM Logan Farro Jane Knaus Lois Powell Leslie Sinclair Patricia Stiles Debbie Woods BEEBE FLU VACCINE CLINIC Mark Eubanks Doug Sellers CAMP ADMIN Sherri McGee CAMP CHORUS LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE Bill Fuchs Dianna Johnston Carolyn Laurenzo Judy Olsen

Gloria Richards Dave Scuccimarra Travis Stevens

CAMP DATABASE Sondra Arkin CAMP FALL CLEANING Karen Anderson Pat Catanzariti Brenda Dunn Glenn Lash Jim Mease CAMP LIBRARY Glenn Lash CAMP MAINTENANCE Carol Brice Eric Korpon CAMP THEATRE THE WEIR Julie Blake Yvonne Cipressi Linda Dean Linda DeFeo

Lissa Dulany Marc Epstein David Garrett Dennis Harr Madelyn Jablon Dee Dee Jones Marcia McCollumMarti David Mussellman Gwen Osborne Anita Pettitt Teri Seaton Kelly Sheridan Kim Smitas Russell Stiles Donna Whiteside CAMPCIERGES Barbara Breault Ken Currier Bob Grant Jim Mease Kim Nelson Patricia Stiles Russell Stiles Joe Vescio

CAMPSAFE HIV TESTING AND COUNSELING Tom Chaplin E.J. Kenyon Mike Merena Alan Spiegelman Joe Vescio

DEVELOPMENT TEAM Jane Blue Pat Catanzariti Wes Combs Mike DeFavia Amanda Mahoney Albanese

CAMPSHOTS PHOTO VOLUNTEERS G. Michael Beigay Tony Burns David Garrett

GRANTS COMMITTEE Leslie Calman Kate Cauley David Garrett John Roane Leslie Sinclair

CROP AT FOOD BANK Carol Brice Christopher Cossette Karen DeSantis Mary Gilligan Robert Grant Daphne Kaplan Jill Masterman Beverly Miller Steve Scheffner Lorraine Stanish

LETTERS DISTRIBUTION TEAM Todd Hacker Glenn Lash Jim Mease

Stephen Palmer Linda Yingst LETTERS PROOFING Barb Ralph MEMBERSHIP TEAM Jane Blue Ann Evans VOLUNTEER DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE Jim Mease Kim Nelson Rina Pellegrini Leslie Sinclair John Michael Sophos Debbie Woods

LETTERS MAILING TEAM Nancy Hewish Grant Kingswell Vicki Martina DECEMBER 15, 2023

109 Letters

AD INDEX 1776 Steakhouse...................................................25 Accent On Travel......................................................9 AG Renovations................................................... 108 All Saints Church....................................................47 Atlantic Jewelry......................................................31 Beebe Healthcare..................................................75 Brandywine Urology Consultants...........................17 Brandywine Valley SPCA........................................49 bsd..........................................................................35 Café Azafrán...........................................................87 CAMP Rehoboth Annual Sponsors.........................10 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, The British Are Coming..... 7 CAMP Rehoboth Development..............................93 CAMP Rehoboth Development/Charitable Distribution.............................................................83 CAMP Rehoboth End of Year Giving.......................97 CAMP Rehoboth Give the Gift of Letters................71 CAMP Rehoboth Letters Subscription................. 109 CAMP Rehoboth Membership................................98 CAMP Rehoboth Save The Dates...........................95 CAMP Rehoboth Women’s FEST.............................21 CAMPsafe...............................................................76 Caroline Huff, Artist................................................25 Chris Beagle Group, Realtors.................................19 Clear Space Theatre...............................................59 Coho’s Market & Grill..............................................47 Community Lutheran Church.................................80 Country Lawn Care.............................................. 110

Letters 110 DECEMBER 15, 2023

County Bank...........................................................91 DE Div of Public Health, Tobacco...........................15 Delaware Beach Life..............................................45 Delaware Community Foundation...................... 101 Delaware Hospice..................................................67 Dogfish Head.........................................................39 Donna Whiteside, Realtor......................................22 Fifth Avenue Jewelers............................................87 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant................ 89, 111 Gay Women of Rehoboth.................................... 108 go fish go brit.........................................................37 Hugh Fuller, Realtor................................................54 Humane Animal Partners Delaware.......................84 Jack Lingo, Real Estate..........................................32 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.................................19 John Black, Realtor................................................81 Jolly Trolley......................................................... 103 Just In Thyme Restaurant.......................................41 Lana Warfield.........................................................79 Lawrence Alan Richardson, In Memoriam.......... 107 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, Realtors........................65 Lori’s Café........................................................... 103 Loves Liquors.........................................................33 Maplewood Dental Associates...............................37 MERR Institute........................................................79 Milton Theatre........................................................53 New Wave Spas......................................................79 Olivia Travel............................................................11

Purple Parrot..........................................................55 PWW Law................................................................67 Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Realtors..............91 Rehoboth Beach Bears........................................ 105 Rehoboth Beach Dental.........................................41 Rehoboth Beach Museum................................... 103 Rehoboth Guest House..........................................79 Rigby’s Bar & Grill...................................................77 Saved Souls Animal Rescue...................................87 Sea Bova Associates, Realtors............................ 112 Seaboard Hospitality....................................... 43, 51 Springpoint Choice.............................................. 102 State Farm - George Bunting.................................37 State Farm - Jeanine O’Donnell/Eric Blondin.........41 Stuart Kingston Gallery..........................................23 Sussex Family YMCA..............................................33 The Flats.................................................................85 The Joe Maggio Group, Realtors...........................37 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead..............................29 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting..................70 Troy Roberts, Realtor..............................................25 Unfinished Business...............................................84 Village Volunteers..................................................84 Volunteer Opportunities...................................... 109 Volunteer Thank You........................................... 109 Windsor’s Flowers............................................... 103

DECEMBER 15, 2023

111 Letters

LINDA BOVA

BRIDGET BAUER

BROKER-ABR®

ASSOC. BROKER-REALTOR®

CELL

302-542-4197

CAMELOT MEADOWS Rehoboth. 2000 3BR/2BA doublewide is 1,680 sq. ft. Family room with fireplace. Community pools & just 3.5 miles to beach. $229,900

CONCH CAYE - Milford. 1952 renovated 3BR/1BA 980sf “cottage” on 0.45 ac lot. East of Hwy 1 w/easy access to Dover & beaches. $239,000 (DEKT2021492)

302-245-0577

SEA AIR - Rehoboth. 2BR/1BA 2015 Forest River 36’ RV w/3 slide-outs. Nice kitchen. Sleeps 6-9 people. Community pool & 3 miles to beach. $42,500 (2050802)

(2051848) Lot Rent $693/mt.

Pam Schaefer 302-388-8299 cell

Seasonal 4/15-11/15 w/Lot Rent

CAP’T GRANT - Millsboro. 2002 4BR/2BA 1,404sf Class C home on 0.37 ac. Oversized 12’x20’ shed. Nearby marinas & 15 miles to the Rehoboth boardwalk. $314,500 (2045944)

BAY CITY - Millsboro. Waterfront! 2003 3BR/2BA doublewide w/an addition for 1,456sf. Right next to the boat ramp or rent a slip. $179,900 ( 2050320 ) Lot

POT-NETS BAYSIDE Long Neck. 1970 3BR/1BA is approx. 1,300 sq. ft. Water views. Nice kitchen. Family room. Screened porch. So many amenities! $135,000

Rent $1,275/mt.

(2052248) Lot Rent $689/mt.

LOCHWOOD - Lewes. WATERFRONT on Burton’s Pond. New Construction - Immediate Delivery. 3BR/2BA home is a 1,640 sq. ft. one-level rancher w/2-car garage. Open concept floor plan. Great room opens to the kitchen & dining area. Sliding glass door out to the big 12’x16’ deck. Main bedroom suite has a walk-in closet & elegant bath with a 5’x4’ tiled “curbless” shower. Split bedroom plan. Luxury vinyl plank floors throughout w/tile in the baths. Quartz & stainless steel kitchen appliances. $429,900

(2049518) Lot Rent $665/mt. includes water & sewer

Lot Rent $853/mt.

VILL. OF COOL BRANCH - Seaford. 2000 1,064sf 2BR/2BA home w/den/office. Covered porch. Shed. 4 parking spaces. Pool & catch-nrelease pond. $75,000 (2044252) Lot Rent $417/mt.

IRON HORSE RANCH Lewes. +/- 2-acre lot on a p ri v a te l an e j us t o f f of Be ave r D a m Rd . Publ ic water & sewer avail (sewer impact fee already paid). $399,900 (2051768)

(2049050)

ANGOLA BEACH - Lewes. Remodeled 1973 3BR/2BA home is 970sf. Large Shed. Community pools, marina. 10 miles to beach. $167,000

COLONIAL EAST - Rehoboth Beach. Remodeled 2005 3BR/2BA doublewide. Shed w/elec. Community pool. 4 miles to Rehoboth & Lewes beaches. $165,000 (2052192)

S A ND Y B RA E - L ewe s . Remodeled 1995 5BR/3BA. High end finishes throughout! 1/3-acre lot. Just 6 miles to the boardwalk. $539,900 (2048035) Theresa Cappuccino cell 609-515-5820

COLONIAL EAST - Rehoboth Beach. Updated 1976 3BR/1BA with screened porch Shed. Community pool. Just 4 miles to the Rehoboth or Lewes beaches. $75,000 (2048249) Lot Rent $619/mt.

WHISPERING PINES - Lewes. 1985 2BR/1BA 14’x70’ w/3-season sunroom. Vaulted ceilings. “As Is.” Handicap ramp. Rear deck. Shed. Pool. 4 miles to beach. $65,000 (2050546) Lot Rent $575/mt.

20250 Coastal Highway - Suite 3, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971  302-227-1222 office www.SEABOVA.com 

EMAIL – RealEstate@SEABOVA.com

Office Independently Owned & Operated by SBA, Inc. Prices, promotions & availability subject to change without notice. *A/C Active/Under Contract -- Accepting Back-Up Offers