Holly Ballard Kreutter ’70 We lived in the country and my dad worked in town, starting at 8a.m., so he had to drop me off at school about an hour before school started. No teachers were around and so I would get bored. Being the horse lover that I was, I would turn the empty trashcans on their sides and create a horse jumping area. With me on my feet and my hands jumping the “jumps,” I would be laughing hysterically. I spent about half the year on the Bench.
Jamie Alban ’77 I remember getting caught saying bad words in the Boys Room by Mr. Snyder in Eighth Age. He made Andrew Sinwell ’77 and I eat a bar of soap! I was sick all night.
Andrew Sinwell ’77 Rudi Breitenecker ’77 brought in his dad’s rubber gloves from GBMC. I was playing with them, probably too loudly, and got sent to the bench. Mr. Kirk happened by and asked what I was doing with a rubber glove, and if I was planning to operate on someone. “You?” I said. Boom, I was sent to the principal’s office!
Patty McCormick Klein ’86 I remember my one and only time in the “black chair” very vividly. It was in the spring of 1980. I was a young Sixth Ager trying to impress the much older carpool of Ninth, Tenth, and Eleventh Agers (I believe we packed 8 children into carpool back then no car seats required with 3 across the front seat and 5 packed in the back). On our way down bumpy Hillside Road, we were debating which Mork and Mindy episode was the best one. I was thrilled to show off my very talented ability to do the “Na Nu Na Nu” handshake perfectly. Well, as we pulled onto Tuscany Road, two of the older Ninth Age boys dared me to do the “Na Nu Na Nu” handshake to Mr. Kirk that morning. I remember being so nervous, walking up those steep steps with my oversized backpack and two pony tails. I looked the very stern Mr. Kirk in the eyes as I did my best curtsey, put out my hand in perfect Mork fashion and said “Na Nu Na Nu, Mr. Kirk.” There was a long pause, and then Mr. Kirk instructed me to shake his hand properly and walk to the Black Chair. I spent the next 20 minutes pretending to tie my shoes over and over again in hopes that no one would think I was actually sent to the Black Chair! FALL 2011
John Webster ’82 With three daughters at Calvert now, it often comes up in conversation with parents of my girl’s classmates that I also attended Calvert. The infamous Class of ’82, of which I am a proud member, has turned out remarkably well despite an inauspicious start on Tuscany Road. Although, I have many memories of the bench and the Class of ’82, I will have to choose only one to share. This story is probably not too far from what would take place on the playground today; however the potential for future legal proceedings in the year 2011 would most likely be enough to outlaw the game altogether. I also suspect that the use and direction of the language associated with the incident may earn a student an involuntary day off if it were to occur today. There was a game that we played where one boy would grab the rope with a ball tied to the end of it (previously detached from a tetherball post) and swing it in a circular motion for the boys on the outside to jump over as it came around in their direction. I change my previous claim that this game COULD be outlawed. Playing a game of this nature on the blacktop with the likelihood of having your legs taken out, bones broken or skull cracked would ABSOLUTELY not fly in the 21st century! What made this incident so memorable was the deviance and malicious intent demonstrated by the perpetrator. The “ball swinger” (DR), decided that just swinging the ball in a circle didn’t supply enough excitement, so after a few rotations he decided to ‘Bring it Upstairs’ and drill one of his particularly hot-headed classmates (MH) in the side of the face sending him to the pavement. The hot head made an impressively athletic move and rolled out of the blow avoiding more serious skeletal damage although he was experiencing some obvious pain on the side of his face and a ringing ear. He got up and was ready to roll with the “ball swinger”. As the skirmish ensued, our 11th Age teacher, Jim Coady, approached to break things up and grabbed the hot-head by the arm from behind. When the hot-head felt someone grabbing him, he swung his elbow around with the intent to connect and simultaneously yelled, “get off me you %^#^”. The fact that this was directed at a teacher was enough to earn a trip to the black chair, however in the hot-head’s defense he had just been the victim of a malicious act and believed that he was directing his battle cry in the direction of a fellow student. I’m not sure how things turned out after the conference with Mr. Kirk, but I suspect that there was a poor explanation by the hot-head and the punishment was more severe than the misunderstood actions truly deserved.
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