Caliber Magazine - Issue 16 by Caliber Magazine

caliber

staff president

photographers

SOPHIA STEWART

EMMA ALLUYN SITARA BELLAM WILL BRINKERHOFF ARIA BURDON DASBACH CHLOE CARNES HENRY DEMARCO SEAN FARKAS SARAH LEE CARISSA LEWIS ANNIE MAGUIRE ERIK NUDING PATRICIA RIVERO MIGUEL SANCHEZ AREN SAUNDERS-GONZALEZ ZOE ZIEGLER

co chief print editors MOLLY KEARNAN MICHELLE PARK

head of design KAITLAN TSENG

head of marketing MEGAN LEE

head of photography KINSCO DOMICZI

print writers MIEKO ANDERS KATIE BERLIN CHLOE CARNES JENNIFER CO ALLEGRA DIAMOND MOLLY KEARNAN VIOLET LEE OLIVIA LEWKE VICTORIA MARIOLLE BEATRICE ONG MICHELLE PARK LEANDRA RAMLO KENDRA SHUTTS SOPHIA VIVIER CHASE WILMOT NIKKI YOSHIHARA

chief web editor OLIVIA LEWKE

layout designers LEO ELYON JAE KIM JEZELL LEE

a note: It took a while, but it’s finally here. Issue 16 of Caliber Magazine is the amalgamation of nearly a year’s worth of work, and is also commemorating our 10 year anniversary. We’ve been through a lot of changes in staff, board, and so much more. Though there were a few bumps in the road, we finally got here, and we are so proud to present this issue to you. We hope that this issue opens up your mind to the things that the Caliber team was

intrigued by throughout the course of this past year. We worked incredibly hard to make sure that the magazine you’re holding right now showcases only our best work. Hopefully, the stories and photos in here bring meaning to you. Please enjoy! With kind regards, The Caliber Team

table of contents 01 06 10 12 18 22 24 26 30 32 36

MUSEUMS FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE MUSEUMS ALTERNATIVE RELATABILITY DO YOU TALK TO YOUR UBER DRIVER? PHOTO SPREAD : URBAN EXPLORATION ON TRANSITIONING OUT OF A DIVISION 1 SPORT THE QUESTION OF REGULATION IN THE DIGITAL AGE SUPERFOODS : ARE THEY REALLY SUPER? WEST COAST BEST COAST, OR SO I’VE BEEN TOLD INTERNATIONAL STREET STYLE EXERCISING LITERACY PHOTO SPREAD : BLACK + WHITE PORTRAITS

42 SUPPLANTING YOUR FAMILY WITH SUCCULENTS 44 A MEETING WITH MARLEE 48 FLORA ARTE 52 KARABO POPPY MOLETSANE 58 THE BAY AREA’S FOODIE CULTURE 60 REDEFINING COOL 64 PHOTO SPREAD : CITY LIFE 70 ACADEMIC APATHY 74 MORE THAN MASOCHISM 78 “I HAVE A KNACK FOR LEARNING LANGUAGES” AND OTHER MISCONCEPTIONS 80 PHOTO SPREAD : BODY AS ART 86 SEEING 88 FINDING FAITH 92 PHOTO SPREAD : ENCOUNTERING ANIMAL AWARENESS

Cover photo taken by KINCSO DOMICZI While Caliber is a part of the Associated Students of the University of California at Berkeley, the content of the magazine does not reflect the opinions of the ASUC in any way.

museums for people who hate museums A

lthough the idea of strolling through the Louvre surrounded by the works of da Vinci and Michelangelo seems like the pinnacle of sophistication, I accepted long ago that I would much rather eat french toast and listen to Stromae than feign fascination at

yet another oil painting by a dead guy. I am not a museum person and I never have been. Here is a comprehensive list of museums in the Bay Area for those like me, who always wish they could have been doing something else (there might even be some French toast involved).

words by Allegra Diamond photos by Sean Farkas

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FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER BE EATING BREAD BOUDIN BAKERY

ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  Boudin is pretty accessible through public transportation. Take Bart to the Embarcadero and then the F bus to Fisherman’s Wharf.

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CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:

PRICE:

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:

 The hours are very convenient for self-guided tours (everyday 11:30-9:00). It may be hard to find a time for a guided tour that fits the schedule of the average full-time employee or student since these hours are 9 to 5, Monday through Friday.

 Can be as little as free! With 30-foot observation windows and a two way speaker from the street, the Boudin Bakery is friendly to even the lightest of wallets. Admission is free if you want to go on a self guided tour, but you’ll be hard pressed to resist getting something to eat once you smell the freshly baking bread. There are also guided tours available for $5.

 While watching the bread being made from scratch is interesting, and mouth watering, Boudin is not a particularly intellectually stimulating museum.

FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER BE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES PLAYLAND NOT-AT-THE-BEACH

MUSÉE MÉCANIQUE

ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  As indicated by its name, Playland is not at the beach, although it’s much more accessible. It’s a quick Bart ride to El Cerrito del Norte Bart station and a 10 minute walk from there.

ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  Musée Mécanique is accessible through the same public transportation as Boudin. Take Bart to the Embarcadero and take the F bus to Fisherman’s Wharf.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:  It’s usually only open two days a week, but those days are Saturday and Sunday, making it more convenient. There are also special events and open days quite often, and from December 17th through January 2nd, it will be open everyday from 10 to 5. PRICE:  Admission is $15, which isn’t as inexpensive as some other museums on this list. However, admission includes all of the exhibits, shows, tours, movies, and arcade games on free play! You can even win some prizes. Depending on how much you value stuffed animals, you might even come out of the experience with more than what you entered with. LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES: 

This museum is definitely more about fun than anything else, but I’m sure you’ll learn a lot of pinball tips.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:  This fun museum is open everyday of the year from 10 to at least 8. They will stay open longer if there’s popular demand. PRICE:  Admission is free! You do have to pay for the games, but each machine ranges from 1¢ to a dollar and most are about 25¢. There are also coin machines on site so you don’t have to lug around bags full of pennies. LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:  As with Playland Not-at-the-Beach, Musée Mécanique is much more entertainment-based than intellectually stimulating.

FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER BE READING A MYSTERY NOVEL WINCHESTER MYSTERY HOUSE ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  With no convenient public transportation and located in San Jose, this is one of the least accessible museums on the list. Unless you have a car or are willing to shell out a ton of money for an Uber, you’re probably out of luck. If you do have a car, it is well worth the hour-ish drive.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:

PRICE:

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:

 You can book the standard tour any day 9 to 5 or the “Explore More” tour from 9 to 3. Although it isn’t a huge window of availability, especially commuting from Berkeley, it does help that the Winchester House is open on weekends.

 Although this museum is the priciest on the list, with tickets for adults between $37 and $47, it’s also one of the most unique. The cost may be so hefty because the ticket not only gets you a tour, but also grants admission to the Historic Firearms Museum, Antique Products Museum, and the Victorian Gardens on site.

 A crazy woman’s obsession with appeasing angry spirits may not seem like the most academic of subjects, but it sure is interesting. The Winchester Mystery House tour and museums provide information about Sarah Winchester’s history and that of the house itself that you won’t find anywhere else. Moreover, it’s super cool to roam around a 160-room haunted house.

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FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER BE PLAYING WITH A CHEMISTRY SET EXPLORATORIUM ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  Like a few other museums on this list, the exploratorium is easily reached by public transportation. Just take Bart to the Embarcadero and then the F bus which stops right outside.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:  The Museum is open Tuesday through Sunday from 10 to 5. Just like the Academy of Science, there is a special after-dark option for those over the age of 18. Every Thursday from 6 to 10 you can explore the more than 650 exhibits and special events such as guest speakers and specialty films.

PRICE:  The Exploratorium is the mid-priced science museum on the list. Tickets are between between $25 and $30 depending on your age and student status.

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:  This museum is full of interactive and informative exhibits. Test your sense of taste, make your own telescope, or immerse yourself in the pitch black tactile dome and discover what it is like to navigate without one of your senses.

ACADEMY OF SCIENCES

LAWRENCE HALL OF SCIENCE

ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:

 If you walk, bike, or take public transportation to get the the museum the ticket price is reduced by $3! To get there via public transportation take Bart to the Civic Center Station and then catch the 5 bus at Mcallister and Hyde. Take that to Fulton Street and you’ll only be a five minute walk away from the entrance.

 Buses run directly from Berkeley to the Hall Monday through Friday, and the 65 bus runs there everyday.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:  The Academy of Sciences is open everyday of the year including holidays making it possible for everyone to fit it into even the busiest of schedules. Monday through Saturday it’s open 9:30 to 5, and on Sundays and holidays the hours are slightly shorter. Every Thursday night 6 to 10 there are special events for anyone over the age of 21. They range from an evening inspired by Star Wars to a very in depth look at fungi.

PRICE:  The tickets are some of the priciest on the list at between $30 and $35 per person. There are several free weekends a year which are definitely worth it even if they can be crowded.

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:  The Academy of Science is not only a natural history museum, but also contains an aquarium and planetarium. You can explore everything to do with planet earth from the deep ocean to the living roof and everything in between. Don’t forget to say hi to Claude, the resident albino alligator.

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CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:  It may be hard to make it to the Lawrence Hall of Science during the week since it does close at 4 Tuesday through Friday. Luckily, it’s open until 5 during the weekend and on most holidays.

PRICE:  If you are a student or staff member at Cal, entrance is free! Even if you aren’t associated with the university, tickets are only $10 to $12.

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:  Like the previous science museums, the Hall is full of interactive exhibits. Even though they are geared toward a younger audience it can still be informative and fun.

FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER BE LEARNING ABOUT COOL STUFF MUSEUM OF THE AFRICAN DIASPORA ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  The MoAD is only a five minute walk from the Montgomery Street Bart station.

BLACKHAWKS MUESEUM ACCESSIBILITY FROM UC BERKELEY:  Unless you’re down for several hours of public transportation, you need a car to visit this museum in Danville. Luckily, the drive is less than an hour.

It will likely be hard to find a time to visit if you’re a student or working because it’s only open five days a week. It’s open 11 to 6, Wednesday through Saturday and 12 to 5 on Sunday.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS:  The Blackhawks Museum is open 10 to 5, Wednesday through Sunday, making it hard for students to visit, especially since there’s no easy access via public transportation. On the weekends, there is a convenient tour at 2 which is included with the price of admission.

PRICE:  Students and educators can visit for only $5 and for those who are neither, the price is a very reasonable $10.

PRICE:  Admission is only $10 if you’re a student and $15 if you’re not.

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:  The MoAD teaches about human history ranging from the origin of human existence up until present day, through the lens of the African diaspora. It also provides engaging events such as film screenings and talks with artists.

LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES:  The Blackhawks Museum has several big exhibits all on different subjects ranging from African art to a historic collection of cars, which is their most popular exhibit.

CONVENIENCE OF HOURS: 

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ALTERN RELAT A

midst social media culture that appears to advocate for authenticity (with media movements such as Dove’s ‘Real Beauty’ campaign and the “Love Your Body” campaign initiated by The National Organization for Women) it seems that people are captivated by stories that they can relate to. However, this doesn’t stop them from being drawn towards the facade that social media influencers portray through their accounts. Instead of dismissing the content as “fake,” people find threads of relatable elements in the lives of the people they follow on social media. Jay Alvarrez, 22, personifies a life of eternal youth and extravagance. His Instagram account consists of pictures of brilliant blue oceans, showing off his chiseled six-pack, and his other beautiful friends with equally beautiful bodies. With this careful branding strategy, he draws in his followers, calling on them to “Follow the Adventure.” Though at first there appear to be no commonalities between Alvarrez’s manipulated self-presentation and most of his followers’ lives, they end up seeing him as a real person because he

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cultivates a specific persona that is both relatable and unattainable for his followers. They grasp onto these relatable elements to live their fantasy lives vicariously through the snippets of Alvarrez’s life they see on Instagram, cultivating a sort of ‘alternative relatability’ that people feel like they can take part in. While Facebook has become an arena for your Aunt Phyllis to share pictures from her latest vacation to Colorado, Instagram is rising in popularity, and as of September 2017 has reached nearly 800 million followers according to a report from CNBC. The industry is growing rapidly — it’s projected to grow from $1 billion to $2.4 billion in the next two years. More heads are turning towards the industry, so much so that Forbes even released a list of their Top 30 Influencers. These influencers use their self-image to build up massive followings — Jay Alvarrez currently has nearly six million followers on Instagram. To achieve this, his personal life and career have seemingly blended together. That appears to be the goal at least, according to Jason Shuman the chief of staff for an influenc-

er-marketing platform called Julius: “It is more than just a job. It’s an extension of your lifestyle. Influencers are always ‘on’; there is no distinction between work life and personal life — and that is the point.” Jay Alvarrez seemingly brings his followers into his daily life — just a daily life that looks much different from the everyday happenings of “normal” people. Followers value knowing about the personal details so much, that even his relationship with his now ex-girlfriend Alexis Ren (another social media influencer) was played out on the platform — both the good and bad. The broadcast of such personal details is part of influencers’ success. Influencers want to portray themselves as authentically as possible. In a study examining self-branding amongst fashion bloggers, Erin Duffy observed that “Appeals to authenticity have been at the heart of commercial messages — particularly in the U.S. context — for decades.” In order to succeed, influencers must cultivate distinct personas. Because of how many users are on Instagram, “it’s getting harder and harder to delineate from one

ATIVE ABILITY blogger to the next because so many of them are so similar.” Thriving on social media requires more than appealing aesthetics. Influencers need their “own jargon” and “an irresistible personality” to be picked out from the crowd, according to Jonathan Van Meter, who authored a study about models on social media published by Columbia University. For example, a case study observing Instagram use among top fashion models observed that although Kate Upton had “signed with Elite at fifteen and made a splash in Sports Illustrated,” she did not rise to prominence until silly YouTube videos of her dancing the Dougie and Cat Daddy emerged. These elements of ordinary life, which removed her from the glamour of a supermodel’s life, boosted her popularity, and was the beginning of her cultivating a bona fide image: “From her self-deprecating humor to her game-for-anything spirit, Upton radiates an authenticity that has clearly struck a nerve.” Given that authenticity is prioritized, a paradox is created in which influencers must craft together a new persona, integrating characteristics they know will be attractive to

their audience. In doing so, influencers undermine the concept of authenticity altogether. Even so, due to how pervasive social media influencers are in our world of convenience technologies, users are able to recognize these patterns and understand that the depictions of the life that influencers post is not reality. New York based fashion blogger Crystal was interviewed by Duffy and admitted, “Obviously, my life is not all dressing up in designer clothes, and going out to eat for every meal and drinking wine every night, and going to Paris... you’re given a false illusion.” There is an overall awareness of this false illusion, however, and Alvarrez himself acknowledges this as well. In the description boxes of “verified” accounts are people’s professional titles, such as “musician,” “actor,” or “public figure.” In contrast, Alvarrez labels himself as a “fictional character.” He admits to being paid to feature certain products, but users do not need a disclaimer in order to understand for themselves that he is sponsored by a multitude of brands. Alvarrez was part of a Coca-Cola ad campaign,

featuring the hashtag, #BestSummerCoke, and openly announced his partnership with GetSprouterApp. Though social media influencers attempt to portray authenticity in their posts, their followers remain very aware of the commercial motivation of their content. Social media influencers no longer try to hide their sponsorships. Some even make sure their audiences are aware of the fact, adding #ad to their posts featuring sponsored content. Although they are vocal about their partnerships, many influencers qualify their sponsored content by raving about the products and how much they personally love them. By being transparent about their partnerships and creating the illusion of choosing the partnership based on their genuine convictions, influencers attempt to transform what Duffy calls “crass commercialization” into part of their own portrayals of authenticity, but it is still clear to their followers that these ads are posted for profit. However, this doesn’t stop people from gravitating towards the illusions that social media influencers put on display. Jay Alvarrez’s portrayal of his life

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USERS BUILD THEIR FANTASY LIVES ON SOCIAL MEDIA, LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THE CELEBRITIES AND INFLUENCERS THEY KNOW.

is completely out of reach for the vast majority of his followers. His life looks like an eternal vacation spent on beaches in tropical islands, which is unrealistic, but there is a reason why Alvarrez has 5.8 million followers while the Sandals Resorts account only has 314k. The aesthetics between the two accounts are similar enough — beautiful beaches with white sand and blue water, young, attractive people smiling and having fun. In essence, paradise. People wish they could live on a tropical beach, but there is nothing personable from the content that Sandals Resorts posts that users can relate to. So they follow Alvarrez instead. There is a persona associated with the extravagant and unrealistic lifestyle — followers feel like they are getting to know a “real” person; Alvarrez carefully constructs and attaches his own laid-back, nonchalant, carefree personality to the fantasy of living life as a permanent vacation. In one of his older posts, he holds up a magazine with a beautiful clear ocean on the cover, recalling a time when he longed for the day that the picture would be part of his reality. He establishes that he started from humble beginnings and hasn’t always been travelling the world; he lays down similar roots with most of his followers. Additionally, he portrays a carefree persona that seems to be simply enjoying vacation after vacation, rather than doing a job. He shows his affection for his followers, and cultivates the self-

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image of a boyfriend bringing along his significant other — in this case, his followers — along with him on his extravagant trips. His consistent vernacular in captioning, even with emojis, cultivates this personality. He often uses the emojis with heart eyes, calls his followers “baby,” and refers to himself as “Daddy,” giving him a hypersexual image. When people scroll through their Instagram feeds, they don’t do so believing they’ll one day be able to abandon all responsibilities and move to Ibiza themselves. Rather, users build their fantasy lives on social media, living vicariously through the celebrities and influencers they follow. Users believe that they are somehow participating in the picture-perfect lives of these people. When users can see parts of themselves in influencers’ lives, the influencers become even more relatable, and their followers begin to believe that the influencers are portraying at least a sliver of reality. In the same way that people are drawn to movie theaters for an immersive story experience, people are drawn to social media because they get to live out an immersive fantasy life they have built. One reason that the fantasy becomes so immersive is because many social media influencers start without any background in entertainment or celebrity connections, which allows them to immediately draw similarities with many of their followers. Many influenc-

ers start off as “normal” college students, and continue to build upon and elaborate their persona, transitioning into a career as a social media influencer, and sometimes into more traditional entertainment occupations as well, such as modeling and acting. There is a new generation of models who got their start on Instagram. Jay Alvarrez was featured in an Armani Exchange and Ralph Lauren campaign, both of which he booked after gaining significant attention on Instagram and YouTube; celebrity status no longer requires a traditional background in arts and entertainment. “When it comes to modeling, this new mood has left room not only for Kate Upton to begin to grab magazine covers and beauty contracts back from pop and movie stars but for other outliers to dare to dream as well: girls like Charlotte Free...Soo Joo Park... and Kelly Mittendorf...You see pictures of them at Coachella; they answer questions on Tumblr. They’re relatable.” Relatability is so essential to social media success right now that even Victoria’s Secret Angels, the supermodels who are branded as “the most beautiful women on Earth,” are buying into it. Miranda Kerr, Taylor Hill, and more post pictures and Instagram stories of themselves with goofy filters on their faces. They have a plethora of beautiful, sexy, high quality photos available to post, but choose to publish more everyday content because those Snapchat and Instagram filters are

all replicable by “normal” people. Doing so takes these supermodels from the world of runways and magazine covers to the everyday lives of their followers. When people are so far removed from the lives of such superstars, they grasp at even the smallest fibers of relatability. Rather than looking for high fashion runway shots, people seek out the more everyday identities of these supermodels. The relatable, down-to-earth personas of these models are manipulations, emphasizing one aspect of their personality over other aspects. However, these more casual identities are more accessible and relatable to their followers, and therefore are the ones they gravitate towards. Amalia Ulman explores “how authenticity and identity are distorted in the social media echo chamber,” writes Molly Langmuir in an article for Elle. The 27 year old performance artist utilizes Instagram as her medium, and as part of a larger commentary on social media, has “shape-shifted” into an array of different identities; beginning as a “cliché of an arty girl,” she transformed into a “sugar baby” after she posted about a break-up on Instagram, which turned out to be falsified. Ulman was “inspired by stereotypes of how young women portray themselves online,” according to an interview conducted by Alastair Sooke. Until she announced that the shift into a “pretty-in-pink naïf” had been meticulously planned and executed for her art exhibit,

her followers had believed her. Ulman utilized Instagram as a performance for part of her exhibition called Perfections & Excellencies. The daring transformation she portrayed on Instagram was lauded as “the first Instagram masterpiece” by Telegraph. This exhibition created waves in the art world, but can also be considered as a more polarizing, intentional version of what all Instagram users already do by simply having accounts. People maintain specific aesthetics and even create secondary or professional social media accounts in order to manage their reputation in different communities. For Ulman, shifting her public image so drastically caused dissonance and red flags for her followers, who accused her of becoming vapid and losing her artistic sense because her newer content did not match her followers’ expectations and aesthetic preferences. As with every performance, a social media persona must have a target audience, feeding into their ideals, aesthetic preferences, and artistic sensibility. People refine and improve the performance by managing and maintaining their reputation on social media. With endless mobile apps allowing users to edit their pictures, add filters, and even plan out how their Instagram profile will look and post on a schedule, the online space allows for such careful cultivation of reputation management, and “Never before have youth had so many opportunities to bring their self-presentation

to perfection.” Just as everyday users cater to a specific audience, Alvarrez does the same, simply on a much larger scale. Just looking at the comments left on Alvarrez’s pictures indicate that most of his followers are teenage and early-20’s females. Alvarrez’s hypersexual image is seductive to the demographic of his followers, which is why his specific persona brings him so much success. At the end of the day, much of his fame can be attributed to the fact that he is a performer who knows what his audience wants. With the rise of the career of social media influencers, people are increasingly aware that people’s Instagram feeds are only revealing specific parts of their lives. But despite the awareness of the false authenticity in these profiles, these influencers gain millions of followers who live out their fantasy lives vicariously through the influencers’ posts. Alvarrez invites his followers to participate in an adventure most of them cannot ever realistically be a part of, but they continue to be captivated by the fantasy because they feel like they are able to relate to small parts of his life — his presumably average beginnings and whatever his followers feel like they can grasp onto.

WORDS BY MICHELLE PARK GRAPHICS BY KAITLAN TSENG

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do you TALK TO YOUR UBER DRIVER?

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fter a long day in the city, I requested an Uber back to Berkeley. Exhausted, I couldn’t wait to finally sit and put in my headphones. I decided to only give the driver a quick, “How are you?,” but before I could start listening to music, the conversation continued. After just a few minutes of talking, I was laughing so hard that my stomach ached and tears started to form in my eyes. Do you usually make conversation with your Uber driver? It seems simple. For some, this is so natural that the question has never even crossed their minds. Others don’t say a word during the car ride. For instance, some students feel as though they can finally decompress from their busy day during their ride, so they choose to relax, instead of making conversation with their driver. Do you spill your day’s excitements and concerns to your Uber driver? Do you offer a polite “How are you?” at the beginning of the drive and then return to texting who you’re meeting? Even if you don’t like to make conversation, do you thank your driver at the end of the trip? Do you sit in silence? Maybe you feel defensive answering these questions. Or surprised. This could be something you’ve never thought about before. You might even think your habits seem unimportant. However, your interaction with your Uber driver sheds light on the overall manner in which you conduct your daily interactions with strangers. It can be beneficial to talk to strangers in your day-to-day life because they can capture the goodness in sharing genuine connections with other people. The honesty of these interactions brings out an important kindness just as talking to a stranger conveys an acknowledgement of a person and their presence. The act of making conversation says, “I see you” and “I can relate to you.” Plenty of

these interactions seem meaningless and are immediately forgotten. However, often, an impact is made. A laugh is shared. A lesson is learned. A story is told. A friend is gained. What occurs (according to Kio Stark, the author of When Strangers Meet) are “beautiful interruptions into the expected narrative of your daily life.” While going out of the way to talk to others may feel uncomfortable at times, it is important to at least try. Doing so is a constant reminder of the enjoyment one gains in the sharing of an unplanned, unmotivated moment of discussion, laugh-

ter, or storytelling. When I was growing up, my mom always made conversation with the people around her. Grocery stores, restaurants, outlet malls, sports practices...you name it. There were always strangers ready to tell a story or reciprocate her wit. Sometimes when the conversations would drag on for too long, I’d impatiently give her a look like “Alright, we should be going by now,” to which she would say, “You have to talk to people. No matter what’s going on in your life, everyone else has some-

thing too. Everyone’s the same.” Talking to my Uber drivers, I see this very sameness in each conversation. Whether the drive was five minutes down the street or an hour in traffic leaving the city, the conversation usually includes, “Where are you from?” By talking about home, family is normally the next topic. This small talk might just be basic go-to questions that we rely on, but one can also view these questions as our commonalities. For the most part, we care about our home, our family, and our foundation. We also have similar worries. Many times, my Uber driver would initiate conversation with a political question or opinion. These conversations went beyond the academic political debates expected of Berkeley students in classrooms. Rather, these political concerns represent our shared needs for security and worries for the future. Despite these fears, there is also a common excitement for the future throughout the Berkeley community, even among its Uber drivers. I asked some Uber drivers what they enjoyed most about their job. One response stood out to me, “I feel like I get to see the future and it’s bright. I get to drive around the students who will change the world.” What we talk about is what we care about. From these connections with not only Uber drivers, but the strangers in our day-to-day life, we can see that despite our differences, as humans we fundamentally have similar sources of contentment and fear. Perhaps the most important lesson we learn is our differences don’t outweigh our similarities.

WORDS BY SOPHIA VIVIER PHOTO BY SITARA BELLAM

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PHOTO URBAN

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SPREAD:

EXPLORATION

7:08am, Extended 75 stories over Manhattan, my trusted companion scales the arm of a crane.

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4:43am, 79 stories above the Manhattan Financial District. In the distance lie the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges.

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Dumb. Reckless. Perilous. These are all words that have been used to describe my hobbies over the past few years. Yet, despite the many negative adjectives associated with urban exploration, the subsequent sense of fulfillment remains unparalleled in its ability to award both intoxicating adrenaline and divine tranquility. While sitting aloft the craneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s control booth of a 75th story Midtown construction site, I gaze past the rooftops of nearby structures as the early morning sun begins to pierce through the low-hanging smog. In the dilapidated remains of a Gary, Indiana high school, sounds of rambunctious children are instead replaced with the deafening silence of abandonment. As I climb to the tallest point of one of Manhattanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest buildings, I contemplate the generations of history that have contributed to the urban jungle resting beneath me. These following photos reveal divergent stories, yet remain constant in their ideological pursuit of encapsulating the excitement of journeying to places not typically enjoyed by most people.

words + photos by Sean Farkas

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2:38pm, A Southside-Detroit church, built in 1938 and abandoned in 1998.

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6:18am, 83 stories above the Financial District on one of the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest spires.

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ON TRANSITIONING OUT OF A DIVISION 1 SPORT A

thletes at UC Berkeley represent the school on the Division I level, flaunting their various team gear items and often walking with confidence through the roof. With good reason - many of our Division I teams hold national titles. Most of these teams hand pick athletes from the top high schools in not only the country but worldwide, raising the standard of competition to its limits. With this level of dedication, commitment, and competition, very few people are successfully able to cope with the pressures of the student athlete lifestyle. Unsurprisingly, many who come to Cal with the intention of playing all four years actually end up leaving the teams they initially signed with because they cannot keep up with the demands that come from participating in a Division I sport at a school like UC Berkeley. I may be biased, but within the Cal athletic community, I would argue that certain sports, like rowing, can be at times more rigorous (both mentally and

physically) than others. For the men’s and women’s rowing teams, there is no “off season” like most other teams have. While the spring is considered the big racing season, there is essentially no difference in training between the fall and spring semesters. Abiding by NCAA rules, the team must allow certain days to be taken off in both seasons, but the level of intensity and training is essentially the same. To preface my argument, I have to say that I have an immense amount of respect for all who have been on a Division I team at Cal, whether it be for all four years or only one semester. I know from personal experience that being a student athlete is extremely difficult. It requires more mental strength than physical strength to keep up with the pace of student life at this school while being a nationally ranked athlete. Although rowing for four years was my goal in the beginning, life took a different course (for the better), and in two years, I learned

what it takes to be a college athlete and why I had to make the transition out of the student-athlete lifestyle sooner rather than later. One of the major reasons for my departure from the team was due to a back injury, something that is all too common in the sport. Wanting to experience typical college life was also high on my agenda, including getting an opportunity to study abroad. While I absolutely loved rowing and still do, I had pressing reasons for stopping after two years and am grateful that I got the chance to have two years of NARP (non-athletic regular person) life. More importantly, I am grateful for getting the opportunity to transition out of the student-athlete lifestyle while I was still in college, where I had time to figure myself out past my identity of being a rower since the 8th grade. It was one of the most difficult times in my life - the first semester I had without any commitment to being on a rowing team was confusing and challenging. Especially when

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I had to figure out what to do with 25 extra hours in the week. I had to entirely reorganize my time management and learn what to think about when my mind and thoughts had been literally consumed by rowing for the previous seven years. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to experience this transition upon graduating, when both school and your sport come to a grinding halt (most of the time). When you are an athlete (or at least a rower), that sport is your life. I don’t just mean physical, day to day commitments; it consumes your thoughts and virtually every action or decision you make. Coaches and other athletes have argued against this, but from my own experience and the experiences of others around me I can safely say this sport in particular dictates your entire life; from when you can or can’t have a night out, eat at any given time during the day, take a short trip somewhere, etc. When I was an athlete, I had timed naps throughout the day depending on when I had class and practice, and I had to time when I ate so that it wasn’t too close to or too far in advance from a practice. I knew I had to be asleep by 10pm every night or else the rest of the day would be a nightmare, especially if the next day included an afternoon fitness test. Even if I had one night a week to go out (only Saturday), I often had an important fitness test the following Monday afternoon and didn’t want to jeopardize that by having a few drinks the Saturday night before. In my experience at least, rowing on a Division I team was a lifestyle, not just an extracurricular college activity. To gain a broader perspective about transitioning from being an athlete to a regular student, I interviewed a few people who have been or still are student athletes. Ellen Heile, a senior on the Cal Women’s rowing team and team captain told me about her experiences rowing in college for three, going on four years. Throughout the interview it was clear she has been motivated since the beginning to have a life outside of rowing, because she knew that it is not hard to let it consume your entire life. Especially in her case, being both nationally and internationally ranked made it hard to maintain a

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somewhat “normal” life off of the water. Prior to getting elected as team captain (which had acted as a full time job) she was actively involved in different opportunities her major had to offer. Studying civil engineering, Heile’s main focus is in concrete; during her sophomore and junior year she got the chance to work alongside a graduate student in a concrete lab, gaining experience that would help her upon graduation. However, with the added responsibility of being team captain this year she was unable to continue working in the lab. It was something she found initially upsetting, but the rewards

FIGURING LIFE OUT P O S T- G R A D U AT I O N I S TOUGH FOR ANYONE, B U T E S P E C I A L LY S O WHEN BOTH SCHOOL AND A H I G H LY S P E C I A L I Z E D 25-HOUR WEEK COMMITMENT COME TO A H A LT A L L AT O N C E .

and sense of accomplishment that came with being elected team captain made the sacrifice worth it. I was most interested in what she thought the transition out of rowing would be like, and while she thinks it will be okay she also wasn’t completely sure, and is even entertaining the thought of rowing on a higher level after college. However, she felt that she had prepared herself well with lab experience and internships during the summers and semesters she had available. However, Heile may be an exception, as I know several individuals on many different athletic teams (including rowing) that dedicate their entire life to that sport, which, while highly impressive, seems to make the

transition post graduation more difficult. Upon interviewing a recent graduate of Berkeley who completed four years as a student athlete on the rowing team, I was able to understand what it takes to compete at this level (hint—success is highly dependent on mindset and mental strength) and what happens when a four year decorated rower graduates and starts post-college life. Erica Rippe, a 2013 UC Berkeley graduate, who had her sights set on the College of Natural Resources from the beginning of her undergraduate career, always had goals and priorities outside of her sport. However, this is not to say she wasn’t extremely dedicated to the Cal Women’s rowing team. She was one of the best rowers on the team at the time, winning a national title and elected team captain her senior year. When I asked about what it was like to graduate and completely stop rowing all at once, she told me it was definitely difficult. After graduation, she moved home to live with her parents for eight months, worked at a coffee shop and traveled to South America for a bit. Figuring life out post-graduation is tough for anyone, but especially so when both school and a highly specialized 25-hour week commitment come to a halt all at once. However, Rippe added that rowing for a team like Cal “helped [her] with communication skills and collaboration abilities in the professional world,” in addition to providing her with a sense of accountability of being on a team, which translated well to working on a team at her job(s). Throughout her four years at Cal, Rippe was able to take summer classes, do independent study, work for a nonprofit in Oakland on her one afternoon off per week, and take an internship at a hazardous materials consulting agency one semester for which she earned both units and pay. On top of that, she was also a part-time tutor in the Athlete Study Center for writing, geography, and environmental science. This may sound like a normal amount of work for a student at Cal, but this on top of, say, 25-30 hours a week of rowing? I was in awe to say the least. During the two years I was an athlete, I barely had the time, let alone the energy to do my homework.

It is evident that all this work Rippe put in outside of her athletic life paid off, as she is now working at a non-profit land use consulting agency in Downtown Oakland, living near Lake Merritt. But had she not spent the time doing internships and jobs during her four years at Cal, she would have had a much harder time landing a job like the one she has now. When asked if she could speak to anything she felt she had missed out on while she was a student athlete, she confessed “I wish I had taken another semester to be just a student at Berkeley without having rowing at the same time.” Even still, she graduated in four years on top of being a decorated athlete—a highly commendable achievement, and not for the faint of heart. Heather Walleigh on the women’s soccer team is in her fourth year and graduating in May 2018 with a degree in Media Studies. I wanted to understand a bit more about what it’s like to be a part of a team that is not rowing, specifically regarding its day-to-day demands. First, unlike rowing, the volume and intensity of practices is vastly different in the fall and the spring. In the fall, women’s soccer has about 10 hours of practice time a week, excluding the extra 20 hours they

spend doing treatment or traveling. In the spring, Walleigh says, the total amount of time spent practicing is maybe 15 hours per week as they don’t travel or play games and have the weekends off. However, women’s soccer does have to come back to Cal mid-July for pre-season captains practices, which interrupts internship opportunities. This limitation affected her last summer, when many companies turned her away upon learning she could only work for half the summer. However, this downside hasn’t affected how she feels about finishing four years as an accomplished Cal athlete, and she looks forward to finding a job nearby in marketing or broadcasting. While the women’s soccer team is definitely Walleigh’s closest group of friends, she has made friends outside of her team in her sorority, Delta Gamma, and through Cal TV. She recognized the importance of joining other organizations early on, in order to have a break from the demanding life of being a student athlete. One fact that stood out to me from our conversation was that after the soccer season is over, seniors on the team are done. Because the spring season is used to train for the next fall season, seniors don’t have to practice or participate and can essentially have their final semester

at Cal to just be a student. In Walleigh’s case, since she is not going professional, this semester will be a great transition period to focus on life post-graduation and really decide what kind of job she wants without the demands of soccer. Balancing a Division I sport and attending a school like UC Berkeley comes with immense challenges and rewards. However, sometimes it seems as though student athletes must be superhuman to accomplish tasks that are often regarded as basic to non-athletes. Transitioning out of any Division I sport is also incredibly challenging, the experience varying depending on what exactly happens in one’s undergraduate career. Regardless, making an effort to be a part of alternate groups or institutions outside of being an athlete is crucial, and it represents just one of the many essential aspects of college life that Division 1 athletes must make an especially concerted effort to cultivate, sometimes simply in order to stay sane.

WORDS BY KENDRA SHUTTS PHOTOS BY AREN SAUNDERS-GONZALEZ

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th e q u e s ti on of r eg u l ati on i n the dig i ta l ag e “We are in an environment where the wild west is digital.” - Professor Timke Media Studies, UC Berkeley

or every industrial expansion there comes a period of adjustment where regulations are put into place to safeguard the American public from malpractice. The American consumer has bared witness to the corporealization of countless pieces of legislation that assert government oversight, from the creation of The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) under the 1906 Pure Food and Drugs Act to respond to the abuses of the food industry, to the Department of Motor Vehicles whose purpose it is to set and enforce vehicle safety measures. The creation of both of these government appendages represents a larger historical trend in which rising industries, when left to their own devices, perpetuate unethical actions that warrant government inter-

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vention. This pattern of necessitated government oversight in rising industries furthermore raises the question: Are ethical market practices dependent on legislative oversight? And if this is true can the current model of self-regulation in the tech industry be left to stand? The absence of ethics in the technological sphere manifests itself on two levels: the localized level that negatively impacts the consumer and the overarching level in which executives, not bound to any ironed out code of conduct, have the positionality to generate international dilemmas. ABSENCE OF ETHICAL DESIGN Never before has such a concentrated group of people (technological designers) had such a powerful, far-reaching influence on how billions of people spend their time. And the development is not coincidental. The tech industry purposefully designs their platforms to be as addictive as possible because they operate off an attention economy, meaning that their profit margin directly cor-

relates with how much time the user stays engaged with the product. Popular platforms such as Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter offer their services free of charge not because they believe in accessibility, but because they are using their information to both sell and send targeted ads to their consumers. There is a trade taking place that many users are unaware of: free usage of a tech platform in exchange for tracking and selling the information from the subscriber’s digital footprint. Tristian Harris, a former Google ethicist, began his own ethical Tech company called Time Well Spent to attempt to combat the lack of ethicism in the tech industry. His article: “How Technology Hijacks People’s Minds — from a Magician and Google’s design Ethicist” exposes the ways in which tech companies design their platforms to take advantage of human psychology to maximize their profit. Some central maneuvers that he outlines include: •

Facebook harvests personal data to monetize it for advertisers.

the flooding of fake news stories. A few of their amendments include a feature that allows its users to report fake news stories and a team dedicated to fact checking flagged news stories, in addition to installing software that aids in identifying fake news stories. Mark Zuckerberg is taking deliberate steps to create a new model of self-regulation, signaling the possibility for internal reform. Tech companies are in unprecedented territory — part of a learning curve that needs to be given the breadth to readjust and adapt their technology. THE CHALLENGE TO THE CONSUMER

• • • •

YouTube autoplays more videos to keep the user from leaving. Snapchat turns conversations into streaks that users don’t want to lose. Instagram shows new likes one at a time to keep people checking for more. The media turns events into breaking news to keep people watching. (Harris)

What constitutes the lack of ethicism in employing these techniques is that these tools are biased. They are designed to capitalize on people’s vulnerabilities in a non-transparent manner, decreasing the consumer’s ability to consciously participate in these tech platforms. LARGE SCALE IMPLICATIONS The addictive tactics used to attract the consumer have created a giant power vacuum where a few key companies have gained a massive sphere of influence. In 2017, Facebook had almost two billion users, Twitter reported 330 million registered active accounts, and Google had 2.2 billion users. The main concern surrounding these tech giants is that because this is the dawning of the digital age there are no designated boundaries regarding ethical practices, be it self or government regulated. This problematic grey area is evidenced by the recent Russian scandal where it was discovered that Facebook, Twitter, and Google were weaponized by Russian operatives to spread inflammatory fake news stories during the 2016 Presidential campaign. Elizabeth

Dwoskin from the Washington Post reported that the three companies testified before the House intelligence Committee where Democratic Senator Mark Warner had this to say about Twitter’s testimony over their efforts to stop Russia’s abuse of their platform: “deeply disappointing” as well as “inadequate on almost every level.” This incident for many proves the desperate need for some sort of reform. Whether that reform calls for legislative oversight is still a hotly contested topic. However, a point that I would like to raise for consideration is that these platforms have evolved away from the realm of entertainment into that of news media and should therefore have to abide by the journalism standards that other broadcasting mediums such as radio and T.V. follow. The reason these fake political ads were able to run rampant is because they did not have to reveal who sponsored the ads. What I am proposing, is a negotiation between the two polarized positions of complete self-regulation and intensive government oversight. When I sat down to discuss these matters with UC Berkeley Media Studies Professor Darren Zook he was quick to caution against government oversight, citing that the legislative process would be unable to keep up with the constant flux of technological innovation. Instead, he suggested that these companies reform internally, a process that he points out is already occurring in response to the Russian scandal. David Pogue from the Scientific American in his piece: “What Facebook Is Doing to Combat Fake News” cites the series of design adjustments made by Facebook to counteract

The era of the absence of ethical practices in companies is undergoing a process of transition in response to the rise of ethical companies such as Tristian Harris’s company Time Well Spent and the gradual reform of current tech companies. However, in addition to these factors, Media Studies Professor Jennifer Timke informed me that former Cal students are a part of the groundwork: “to build in these ethical questions and how do we use this data and what are the impacts of it.” In the fight to incorporate ethicism in tech, Berkeley students are at the forefront of attempting to reform damaging tech practices. While some individuals are affecting change internally, the challenge to the consumer becomes to be conscious in the systems she or he is participating in, which could mean checking sources of online stories, understanding what it means when one accepts the terms and conditions box, and researching the business practices of a company to see if they are worth supporting. These tasks are difficult, especially since they are purposefully made obscure to attract your business. However, as American consumers we all have the agency to demonstrate to tech and other industries our perspective through our purchasing power.

WORDS BY VICTORIA MARIOLLE PHOTO BY MIGUEL SANCHEZ

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hia seeds, kale, goji, wheatgrass, turmeric—these fast foods and all things processed are out, and organic, are a few common superfoods that dieticians and wholesome foods are in. Food Instagrams—whether they be nutritionists recommend due to their high levels of “foodie” pages, health blogs, or “food porn” accounts—all vitamins and minerals. By now, you’ve probably influence people to eat certain foods or try certain restaurants. heard of superfood trends, or the strange-sounding special I reached out to the food blogger @caligirlgetsfit, who also foods that are marketed as extremely beneficial in any diet. goes by Shannon, who focuses on meal prepping and body These foods—in addition to several others we all know like positivity. I asked what foods or ingredients she may have salmon, blueberries, avocados, almonds, and garlic—are tried and how she found out about them. “Some foods that are full of much-needed antioxidants and are easy to find and relatively new for me are those that contribute to gut health,” incorporate into your diet. she says. “I talked to a holistic doctor and acupuncturist about But have you heard of ghee, spirulina, pea milk, flax, or gut health, and she had me start consuming foods that would hemp-everything? These are a few of the “trending” foods that help to improve my digestion. Some of these foods include have blown up on food bloggers’ pages, health magazines, apple cider vinegar, probiotics, kombucha, and adding more and social media. Are these truly superfoods, or are they just fibrous foods to my diet, such as chia seeds.” Shannon says new, exciting, and popular? The easy answer is that some can her gut health has improved immensely. be considered superfoods because they are rich with nutrients, Instagram influences these bloggers’ eating in major while others are simply dairy or meat substitutes. I learned ways. Shannon has “discovered a lot of new brands from about these foods mainly from Instagram, and I wouldn’t Instagram that are recommended by fellow ‘grammers’ or know about them if I didn’t follow health food bloggers stumbled upon from browsing.” Instagram can be a great way who post in depth about the health value of their ingredients. to find points of interest, but users should be wary of paid Rachael DeVaux, also known as @rachaelsgoodcontent. If the page has enough followers, the Instagrammer eats, was one of the first Instagramers I found will partner with a company and be sponsored to to be helpful in researching these trending get paid to post with the company’s product. foods. I tried adding something called “I’ve had a chance to connect with health “collagen peptides” (an ingredifood companies and try their products,” ent she swears by) to smoothies I says Shannon. “It’s always great to made each morning after seeing try new things and share them with her add it to so many of her own others.” recipes—I figured it must be ben Because these eficial. It’s supposed to be great "All the popularized foods that you’ve special ingredients and food for hair, skin, and nails, and I products are often expensive and never even heard of that certain definitely noticed a difference brands swear you need in your life outside most college students’ in the overall health of my hair food budget, I asked Shannon may not really be necessary." (fewer split ends), less acne, and about accessible foods for college healthier nails. It is important to students. “When I was in college, note, however, that many articles I had no idea what quinoa was and on this subject say no matter what suwould eat a lot of white rice, being perfood or mineral rich food you eat, it from an Asian family,” she says. “I didn’t will not make you automatically healthy and become educated about different kinds of grains fit without a consistent healthy diet and exercise. until later, or how whole grains are so much better Rachael DeVaux is a registered dietitian and certified for the body. Now quinoa, brown rice, farro, and barley are personal trainer who uses her credentials to inform her folall staples in my diet.” lowers about different foods. These credentials make her There are definitely other ways to incorporate nutritious more trustworthy when she makes claims about certain superfoods and even trending foods into your everyday diet food, especially if they’re endorsements. Another food Inswith the right knowledge. However, despite these food crazes tagrammer, @leefromamerica, claims that kombucha is not and trends, even the most dedicated “foodies” on Instagram good for you. She gives two reasons in an Instagram post: agree that everybody is different. All the popularized foods first, kombucha can trigger irritable bowel syndrome which that you’ve never even heard of that certain brands swear causes bloating, constipation, gas, etc; second, she claims you need in your life may not really be necessary. There she became dependent on kombucha, “needing” it everyday are certainly low-cost foods that can be incorporated into around 3pm. She also says at the end of her post that “just your everyday diet that also fall into the superfood category. because something is called a ‘health food’ and everyone is Luckily, social media platforms like Instagram help spread doing it doesn’t mean you should too.” I also follow her for information about many healthful foods. Superfoods and recipe ideas and tips, and both of these influencers have cut healthier diets overall are important, but diet should vary out many things from their diet to live healthier lifestyles. I depending on each person’s needs. agree that several foods they talk about are probably highly beneficial for any diet, but they both suggest using things like MCT oil, probiotic supplements, and matcha powder, WORDS BY KENDRA SHUTTS which are relatively new to the health food language and PHOTO BY SARAH LEE may not be absolutely necessary. The culture of food has changed immensely, where

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WEST COAST BEST COAST,

Or So Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Told

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lived in the great Midwest for fifteen years before making the move to California in 2016 for college. I moved to Chesterfield, Missouri, a suburb of St. Louis, when I was three years old. There were a lot of soccer moms, decent public schools, and Steak and Shakes. My life felt fairly monotonous, and throughout high school, I was only sure of one thing-- I wanted to get out of the suburbia I felt trapped in. I never had a dream school, but I ended up applying to schools on both coasts in order to get as far away from home as I could. A series of acceptances and rejections led me to Berkeley, and coming to California felt like a dream.

In my mind, California was already an aspirational entity, a world far from the one I had known for the past fifteen years. California had come to represent so many things in my mind already; I was ready for diversity, great food, the beautiful mild weather I had been deprived of growing up, and upon my arrival, these things were readily given to me. Within the first few weeks of school, I had met a slew of people from all over the country, of completely different backgrounds and ethnicities. I no longer felt like the minority, which was my designated role in St. Louis for fifteen years growing up. There were so many places to eat around campus, and San Francisco was only a short BART ride away-- the

possibilities seemed endless. The weather here seemed to nicely wrap up the shiny package that California seemed to be. It was never too hot or cold here. After facing snow and intense humidity back home, this felt like paradise. Given that most of the people I met were from California, the majority of these people were surprised to hear that I did not hail from the west coast. I was faced with similar questions throughout the first weeks of school. “Where is Missouri?” “Did you grow up on a farm?” “Why did you come to Berkeley?” “Do you want to live here after graduation?” About five hours south of Chicago, no, because I wanted a change in environ-

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ment, and wait, I’m sorry - what? I had fairly standard answers for all of these questions, but I had no idea whether or not I wanted to stay in California. I was really confused-- was it normal to know where you wanted to live after graduating? Was it normal to want to return to where you grew up? This was all new to me. Throughout my high school career, whenever I thought about which college I wanted to go to, I only knew one thing for sure: I wanted to get out of Missouri. I had no clear vision of what I was looking

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for, but I knew that I was done with my suburban soccer mom environment. I was ready to leave the Midwest, itching to get away to one of the coasts. I ended up here at Berkeley, as far from the Midwest as you can get. I assumed that most people were like me, wanting to leave their hometowns, venturing out to unknown places. I met a lot of people, mostly from Southern California, and a lot of them expressed a similar desire: to go back to SoCal, where they had been born and raised. This was a completely foreign idea

to me, but for the meantime, it made a bit of sense to me. SoCal still seemed like a magical tropical island to me, a place where the sun never stopped shining, a place that was notches above anywhere else in the world, according to my friends from there. California was a myth. Eliza Brooke writes in Racked, “Everyone has a California because California is a product of Dualstar Entertainment, Fox, Epic Records, and countless other corporate entities. It’s disseminated in film, television, and music, from La La Land

to Baywatch to No Doubt.” California is a brand, an illusion of a particular lifestyle, and a symbol of carefree youth. Everyone wants to be in California, apparently. My friends reinforced this idea with their own longings for home. That was the second surprise to me: people were constantly comparing Berkeley to whichever part of SoCal they were from. I don’t think I realized that this was happening until much later though. It happened slowly: My SoCal friends would complain about various things regarding Berkeley-- it was

too cold, there wasn’t any good food, it didn’t have x, y, or z like SoCal did. I heard these complaints more and more often, and soon it became a full-fledged exaltation of the land that is Southern California. InN-Out was a religion, crop tops were the only acceptable apparel, and acai bowls were a necessity. Hometown pride isn’t unheard of, but I had never felt it to this extent before. It wasn’t pride anymore: it was something bigger, looking down on the rest of the states, deeming them irrelevant and inferior parts of America. I had once been enamored by this mythic construction of what California was, but the myth had started to crumble. Despite how iconic California was to me, I now saw it as a trap, a breeding ground for people who did not believe other states worthy of inhabiting. I spoke with Aileen Gui, a sophomore from the Chicago suburbs, about her perspective as another out-of-state student making the move to California. Gui shared a similar surprise. For both Aileen and I, the surprise has been centered around people’s plans to return to home. Plans that seem to already be set in stone. She said, “I’m genuinely baffled when I find out that most people from California never have and don’t want to leave where they’re from.” Gui and I both expressed confusion as to why people would not want to explore other options and see other parts of the country. Most of my friends from back home had been eager to live in different places and go beyond our hometown. The opposite seemed to be happening here. They were so adamant about staying in California, brushing off the idea of living elsewhere with incredulous laughs. California is a state so set apart that being elsewhere is a completely different experience. After talking to several friends from this Golden State, they all asserted that California was home, but nobody could really provide a specific reason for why they didn’t want to venture to any of the other 49 states. I got a lot of responses like, “I don’t know, California’s just so nice.” In practical terms, this didn’t really make sense. California’s in the midst of a brutal affordability crisis, K-12 public education is ranked 44th in the country by US News, and crime rates are on the rise. Even so, California remains an idyllic place for many of my friends to stay. I came to realize that it was an amalgamation of the little comforts that makes people want to stay here, rather than one really solid, compelling reason. There was an observed overall attitude of,

“Well, everything’s here, so why leave?” Gui disagrees with this mentality, claiming that California does not have it all. She describes the Midwest as “the most down-to-earth” region of the states, and believes that every region of the states has different personas worth experiencing. After being in California for two years, Gui said that she realized that California wasn’t “all that it was cracked up to be.” Gui has also witnessed how life in the Midwest is different, that the way of thinking is different. Though this doesn’t mean that people should go and try to live in every single state possible, Gui does believe that venturing out of your comfort zone for more than just your undergraduate career is a beneficial decision. Aileen admits that her time at Berkeley has equipped her “phenomenally” to navigate competitive environments wherever she goes, and encourages others to go outside of their comfort zone, saying, “The world is so much bigger, not only physically but culturally, than what is found in a single hometown, homestate, home country.” I know that moving out of California is not for everyone, and that desire to stay in place does not apply to everyone either. I know that there are plenty of people itching to get out as well, but some people believe they know they want to stay here, and that’s not something that I can completely discount. However, I do believe that there is much to be gained by keeping doors open rather than closed, especially when those doors lead to the other 49 states left behind in the California narrative. Gui says, “I just think if they’ve never had interest in experiencing anywhere else, especially while they’re young and have the means to, it’s a bit of a waste. I think being closed off to experiencing [a different culture] is sad.” I’m still unsure of where I want to go after graduation. The Midwest and East Coast call to me at times, and at other times I’m enticed by the idea of staying here in The Golden State. Whatever happens, I’m keeping my options open... WORDS BY MICHELLE PARK PHOTOS BY SEAN FARKAS

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International STREETâ&#x20AC;˘ST YLE

Gucci. Gucci. Louis. Louis. Fendi. Fendi. Prada.

ashion has always been influential in pop culture, and the International student fashion scene is far from basic. From Fendi backpacks to Gucci slides, walking from class to class at UC Berkeley, you are bound to see a myriad of top-designer names. Whether people should pay upwards of up to $800 for a t-shirt has always been a controversial topic. Is it the quality of the material? Is it because of the brand name? What causes others to spend ridiculous amounts on pieces of fabric or plastic accessories? I decided to

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ask the people who rock these garments why they choose to wear them, and what sort of influences they hope to channel in their choices. Interviewed: Kim, 20, student from South Korea Favorite Garment to Rock: Tweed Jacket from NYC based designer, Thom Browne Favorite Designer: LPA Fashion Influencers: Her parents, older sister, and Lara Arrobio (designer for LPA) Currently, Louis Vuitton and Gu-

cci have been dominating the fashion industry -- with collaborations between big streetwear brands like Supreme and rap-performers like A$AP Rocky -- designer brands have caught the attention of customers outside those who typically frequent their stores. Founded in 1854, Louis Vuitton is a French luxury brand best-known for the quality of their leather and superb stitching on handbags, among other retail garments and accessories. This past summer, the brand collaborated with Supreme and released everything from backpacks, tshirts, bomber jackets, denim wear, and sunglasses to skateboard decks. Because of the high price tag, the likelihood of

Supreme opened its doors to the public in 1994 in downtown Manhattan of New York City. Since its opening, Supreme has garnered the attention outside the crowd of skateboarding youths and adults it usually caters to, attracting big name artists and musicians. By releasing their items in extremely limited quantities over the course of the year, the resale value of each piece skyrockets. What’s even more impressive is the brand’s ability to put their iconic logo on just about anything and the public’s pressing need to purchase it. Just last year in one of their anticipated seasonal drops, the company released a brick with ‘Supreme’ etched across the front for $30. Unsurprisingly, it sold out, and is now selling on third party websites anywhere between $50 $1,000. Supreme has taken fashion to a new level with the need to buy anything with a brand name. In this case, a brick. Interviewed: Peter, 19, student from China – rocking an all-black outfit which included an Anti-Social Social Club Hoodie and Zebra Boost Yeezys Favorite Garment to Rock: Supreme Hoodie Favorite Designer: Rick Owens Favorite Place to Shop: Online at www.farfetch.com

seeing somebody rock any of these items is an unusual treat. The Italian luxury brand, Gucci, was founded 67 years later after Louis Vuitton. Like Louis Vuitton Gucci caters toward an affluent audience, with its lavish leather handbags and goods. Interviewed: Fanny, 22, student from Sweden Favorite Garment to Rock: “Black jeans, sounds basic and boring but you can never go wrong with it and it’s simple to mix and match with. Can be both dressed down and up if that makes

sense — both casual and more fancy for going out.” Favorite Designer: Acne Studios & Celine Fashion Influencers: “I would say bloggers, mostly Swedish ones that I follow on Instagram. I like their style, and Scandinavian style in general. I like how they use basic plain colored items like jeans and a white Tshirt but add something to it like a cool jacket, a colorful bag or nice shoes. I also follow a lot of other “influencers” on Instagram like @the_salty_blonde, I really like her style.” Dream Garment: Prada backpack

After talking to a couple International students at Berkeley, brand names are an important part of their style. From simple black jeans from Acne Studios to a Supreme box logo hoodie complete with a pair of Yeezys, the international student population wears a wide-range of fashion designs and styles. Additionally, social media platforms and online shopping sites have aided choosing of outfits and garment pairings. Through their personal style, students are able to give a sense of who they are, before even opening their mouths. By wearing garments that suit you and your personality — it will give self-confidence and self-appreciation is discovered where it may not have once been.

WORDS & PHOTOS BY CHLOE CARNES

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EXERCISING L I T E R AC Y ANOTHER TRIP AROUND THE SUN

“ W H Y D O YO U TA L K A B O U T T R E E S ? W H AT K I N D O F T I M E S A R E T H EY , W H E N A TA L K A B O U T T R E E S I S A L M O ST A C R I M E B ECA U S E IT IMPLIES SILENCE ABOUT SO MANY HORR O R S ? . . . B ECA U S E I N T I M E S L I K E T H E S E , TO H AV E YO U L I ST E N AT A L L , S O M E T I M E S I T ’ S N EC E S SA R Y TO TA L K A B O U T T R E E S . ” - B I R D S A R T L I F E , K YO M AC L E A R

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hy do we read? Beyond that which is necessary for day to day communication, to what end do we drown ourselves in the diction of others? It’s counterintuitive, is it not, to bury your head between layers of paper when the world outside constantly demands so much attention... In 2017, I read a total of 53 books. Some short, some long, some that were frankly better in the movie adaptation. But irrespective of length or subject matter, my reading material was far more than merely what was contained within its pages. These were the stories that populated my carpool rides home, on lunch break at the lab, that fought butterflies backstage and chased down sleepless nights. These were the tales I read in the back of class, a simultaneous testament to and rebellion against a raging case of senioritis my last year in high school. These titles sat next to me in the car moving out, and were there again on the BART rides to visit home, catch the smudged lipstick from prom and the muted orange of a road trip’s sloshed Sunny D. So why do I join the echoes of the argument in support of reading? It is good for you? Yes. Does it expand your horizons? Yes. Will you travel the world and find bits of yourself in the lives of characters? Yes, yes, and yes. But the books you choose and the mediums you subject your eyes to: those choices, that agency, holds a story within itself. And so, in this recognition of what has been an incredibly dense year of existence, I thought it was time to delve into my literacy. In this article I’ve divided up 2017 into four distinct periods: waiting, ending, anticipation, displacement. Within each, I’ve included a list of books I read at the time, as well as the short blurbs I kept after finishing each book. It’s a fusion of diary reflections on the year and how I felt about what I read in relation to those feelings, blended with a series of book reviews. Together they make a robust depiction of where I was at each time—the genres and my feelings towards them capturing the fleeting sentiments of my wandering heart: the restlessness, the farewells, the redefining--all that comes with forging a new path and exploring identity. It was perhaps my most hectic year of life, when taking the time to sit and read seemed most absurd, my relationship with words (especially the ones that populated my head) held a whole lot of insight on the life I was navigating at the time. These reflections helped me come to my definitive answer as to why I read. Because in times like these, to have us be aware at all, sometimes it’s necessary to slow down, acknowledge the stories of others, and recognize that on the side you’ve been writing your own all along. I. JANUARY - MARC H: WAITING It is January and the damage is done—damage in that college applications are all that high school revolves around at the moment, and done in that the little red button of the common app submit prompts has been pressed, a commitment to the collection of verbiage meant to represent the last 18 years of life made. We are settled into the restless complacency of the waiting game. Too early for senioritis to drain us of all ambition, but too late for us to stomach the weight of our oncoming futures. I entertain thoughts of what I might be, but also look to others in finding words for how to get there—as is evident in the reading material that fills my library’s hold shelf:

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot ✩ An important story on the untold background (scientifically, but also socially speaking) of the HeLa cells that gave way to so much of the progress we enjoy today in the medical sciences. Clean in its delivery and personal in its angle, perhaps just a bit slow, though I’m reluctant to rate what is largely nonfiction. Lab Girl by Hope Jahren  “Being paid to wonder seems like a heavy responsibility at times.” Hope Jahren chronicles her journey as a scientist and her pursuit of “curiosity based” research. There is clarity and vision and passion with every word she says—and it all feels so human. Anything I’ve ever felt about being drawn to the sciences, I felt put to words in this book. That sentence in and of itself feels a bit wrong to tie my kitten poster aspirations with this woman’s life. But it is easily on the list of things I will make my hypothetical children read. What is Not Yours is Not Yours by Helen Oyeyemi  Oyeyemi’s words capture the experimenting and dynamism involved with creation. Beautiful and striking, her stories float about each other and interlock with such elusive fluidity—it has made me question the parameters for what constitutes cohesion in a written work—and perhaps in this whole existence thing as well. Still Alice by Lisa Genova ✩ The first of what turns out to be a surprisingly large genre of professors with terminal illness. The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult ✩ Read thinking it would be similar to My Sister’s Keeper. A long winded ode to bread and chance. Holy Cow by David Duchovny ✩✩✩✩ Ahaha yeah not a fan. I am actually still unsure if the parts where he was getting preachy along religious and racial lines were supposed to be taken seriously or if the satire was weak on purpose as a message in and of itself? This is me desperately projecting meaning on what I’ve willingly done to my brain. I just couldn’t take it seriously—however I do recognize I’d willingly picked up a book with a talking cow protagonist. A quick read if your eyes are tired of the back of your eyelids? II. MARC H - JUNE: ENDING Perhaps the gravity of college and the change to come is starting to sink in. Answers are falling from the sky, and I read a crap ton of YA. I bury my anxiety in the angst of high school romances and the unwarranted freedom of each protagonist. Also, there is little out there that compares to the freedom of the teenage YA protagonist, dodging authorities with the sheer power of the eye roll and powered by the forbidden affection of the classic lover boy and his fresh driver’s license. But there

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is comfort to the tangibility of their problems, the simplicity of their emotions. I read it until I am sick of it--memorize every trope until I can recognize the foreshadowing of a fake friend or a Deus ex machina from miles away, sweeping musings about my own future under the rug. But I can’t do this for long, and reality waits for no man. Graduations are planned and goodbyes are drafted—finality is on the brain. When the YA has reached a supersaturated max, I stumble upon poetry. There are some bad ones (The Princess Saves Herself in This One) but there are some damn good ones (Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude). I itch for new mediums and clamor for those who have seen themselves through, picking up memoirs and essay collections and fitting my voice to those that have found theirs.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews ✩✩ A particularly potent self-deprecating teenage boy presence but I like the author’s vision. For the record though, the movie was better. And has a better soundtrack. The Iceberg by Marion Coutts ✩ The second addition to the professors with terminal illness catalog. An interesting and impressive attempt to put to words the intricacies of communication—however a little on the denser side. All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven  This one is a game changer. Beautiful and brutal and powerful and delicate. This had me sobbing in my closet at 3 in the morning. That or maybe I just really needed the emotional release mid April. The Princess Saves Herself in This One by Amanda Lovelace ✩✩✩✩ Just because There is a Great Multitude of poetry That Is Spaced With purpose Does not make this printed rendition Of Heavily formatting Fragments Of Tumblr barf Empowering. Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude by Ross Gay  My favorite poetry collection up to this day. How to Ruin Everything by George Watsky  Gifted to me by a very close friend, this collection of essays

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is by a rap and spoken word artist from San Francisco. He’s good at what he does and funny when he does it. Sad to see this one end. III. JUNE - AUGUS T: ANTICIPATION It’s summer and it’s restless. Aware that I am about to pick up the last 18 years of existence, store them in boxes, pack them in tape—compartmentalize my identity and ship it to a premeditated end goal—I’m aware of all that I’m not, and all that I may not prove to be. I flirt with identity, the claims I’ve made to the people I’ve met, gather my intentions and put a major on it for a bow. I crave nostalgia (Howl’s Moving Castle, Paper Towns, Murder on the Orient Express), I crave clarity (Chemistry, Buffering, Bad Feminist, The Normal Heart), I crave solidarity (Today Will be Different, The Vegetarian, Night Sky with Exit Wounds, The Lover’s Dictionary). It’s hit and miss. It’s unfocused. It’s messy. But perhaps reading is not so easily compartmentalized. And perhaps life is no exception either.

Chemistry by Weike Wang ✩ This book begins with the words “you must love chemistry unconditionally.” That I do not, but what was maybe not the best move was picking up a memoir that so accurately replicated the existential crises that ensued from my own major choice. It is indeed an anti coming of age story of sorts, but it shares a very unrepresented field of emotion. I’m not sure if I should be relieved or bummed that it’s a work of a fiction. Today Will Be Different by Maria Semple  Maria Semple is one of my favorite authors—her sarcasm and spontaneity click so well and are so worth the journey. She has perfected the wild middle-aged mom character; as to why I find this resonates with me to such a high degree can be a problem for later. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi  Easily the best book I read in 2018. This is powerful and moving both in concept and in all the subtleties of the execution. A must read. The Vegetarian by Han Kang ✩✩✩✩ My emotions are still mixed for this one—strangely erotic, and also somewhat reminiscent of my junior year high school psychology class in the gross dramatization of mental illness— and vegetarianism? This wasn’t very fun. Memories, Love and Misadventure by Lang Leav ✩✩✩ I so wanted to like this author’s work. In the end though, it was a bit simple and often redundant. IV. AUGUS T - DECEMBER: DISPL ACEMENT It’s hard to read on BART. The lull of the track makes me

sleepy and the drop of my head gives me away. Running my eyes over the words on the page like hands in running water, surrounding but inevitably elusive. My eyes fail to grab hold of the letter on the page, only fragments of the verbage, the curve of the u’s, the notches in the t’s. Life has felt a bit like this, this running, of late. Running to class and running to the lab and running through Sproul and running and running and running. I run not so much to catch up—though there is much of that to be done—but also to validate the status of my legs. That if I push harder I can go faster—I will. And if there are no places to be then I will create some for myself, ever higher, ever faster, onto the next and faster than the rest, just to put myself at the fringe and validate my steps prior, the space I take and the breath I make. I read to fill a bit of this void, so that if my body isn’t running then my eyes, my brain, my being always is (Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, The Martian). The insecurity in my gaze shows (Diary of an Oxygen Thief), but what ultimately wins out is telling—the existential turbulence ensues, thrives, and reigns (And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer, No One Belongs Here More Than You, Britt Marie Was Here, Birds Art Life). The weight of the world drops with my eyelids, spilling down the surface of forehead and willing the rest of the world to rest behind my lidded walls. My head drops with the awareness that I am slipping, that I am zooming through an accelerating world, whether I consent to it or not. There’s no reason to slow down, and I know that it will not, as reality waits for no man, much less an eighteen-year-old girl in the backseat of a urine scented BART car. But on the other side of my eyelids, I feel the thud of the book cover close, and like my eyelids, allow it to stay, my eyes my book this pace this world this purpose, shut.

Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson  This book had me wanting to be an astrophysicist for a hot second. Inspiring and cohesive. A good time. Britt Marie Was Here by Fredrik Backman ✩ A long winded and slightly less fun time but And Every Morning was really good so my faith in Backman prevails.

could truly be “one of us.” The writing isn’t that much better or worse than your typical fictitious narrator but I genuinely didn’t enjoy what I was reading and maybe that’s all there is to it in the end. I get the value of the honesty that comes with writing truly despicable/self-deprecating characters—but the payoff was not there to justify the extent of his self-loathing—and it was just really gross. Blegh.

Counting Descent by Clint Smith  I found this man and his work in the middle of AP Literature—it was not long until his TED Talks and spoken word performances became the soundtrack to the remains of my senior year. An inspiring soul. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng  I feel that the cover synopsis sells the book short on very cookie cutter tropes—don’t be fooled. Subtle and effortless transitions between topics and complication of ideas and characters. Yay for representations of a complex existence!!! The Martian by Andy Weir  This man puts the science in science fiction—and does it incredibly well. It was wild to see Pimentel lectures take place on the moon. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid  An incredible book with undeniable relevance. Yes yes yes. Thank you for accompanying me on my year of literacy! These reviews are all fairly candid—though I’m always down to keep the conversation going (and for more book recs please). Add me at goodreads.com/jenanneco.

WORDS BY JENNIFER CO PHOTO BY ERIK NUDING

Birds Art Life: A Year of Observation by Kyo Maclear  “I regret the instances I have turned to others for guidance even when I already had a hunch of what to do. I regret the part of me that is deferential, that fears being sentimental. I regret I am not more propelled by impulse, nerve, instinct.” “In my husband’s presence, I have felt my solitude dissolve, but I have also felt lonelier than the moon; such are the contradictions of intimacy.” Kyo’s voice is wonderful and subtle--and speaks to the parts of existence that don’t get enough attention. Diary of An Oxygen Thief by Anonymous ✩✩✩✩ I get the initial attention grab with having an anonymous author, and I like the resulting sentiment that the protagonist

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PHOTO BLACK

SPREAD:

WHITE

PORTRAITS

PHOTO

ATTRIBUTIONS

NUDING

ERIK

ARIA

BURDON

ANNIE

DASBACH

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MAGUIRE 7

SEAN

WILL

FARKAS

BRINKERHOFF

PATRICIA

RIVERO

ZOE

ZIEGLER

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supplanting your family with succulents

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have never had a green thumb. In fact, I have the opposite. Thirty seconds ago, when I started writing this, I assumed that the opposite of a green thumb was a red thumb. Mostly because green and red are opposites on the color wheel. However, after some cursory research I discovered that the antonym for the term “green thumb” is actually “brown thumb,” assumedly because a dead plant is typically brown while a living one is (ideally) green. I have a brown thumb--or perhaps two brown thumbs as I doubt that my left thumb is any more talented than my right. For my freshman-year dorm room, I excitedly bought five succulents, some of the hardiest plants known to man. The night before I left for school, I carefully potted them and assigned them each a name. However, several weeks into a careful regimen of water, sunlight exposure, and plant food, each of my plant children succumbed to the deadly threat of my brown thumb. I was devastated. After their ceremonial burial (in a large black trash bag), I suppressed my many urges to buy new succulents, knowing that they were better off without my “care.” All the same, I was determined to conquer my sisyphean task. Over the summer I did my research. I consulted knowledgeable friends, websites, plant nurseries, and farmers’ market stands, until I felt confident enough to adopt new plant children. Since then, I am happy to report that my plant family has flourished. Minerva, Thaddeus, Penny, Felix, and Mr. Jade have become my reliable study partners, sitting on my windowsill to distract me or lighten my mood while I bury myself in readings. You may even occasionally catch me attempting to engage them in conversation, if it’s been a day particularly devoid of human interaction. Admittedly, that last sentence does seem to put my sanity into question, but trust me when I say that I am not alone in this houseplant lifestyle. Dorms and apartments across Berkeley are home to at least one (sometimes even an entire forest) of the various species of potted succulents. Why do college students do this? Why do we choose to add this seemingly unnecessary responsibility to our already hectic lives?

It seems to me that the answer lies in the solitary lifestyle that college promotes. Living away from home for the first time and being flung into a new community of people we are still getting to know, we are reminded of how much we miss our families and the comfort of having people we love to come home to. As a result, we make makeshift families out of what we can--our clubs, our friends, and, for some, our plants. After a lonely day spent somewhere deep in Stacks, coming home to a collection of plants can serve as a reminder of the persistence and joy of life, of growing and expanding. These little green sources of life, which are dependant on you to stay alive, hold a transcendent power to remove you from the typically all-consuming world of work and stress. They gently place you in a world that is only concerned with the most basic and natural aspects of life. It is the simplicity of this world that grants students a much needed reprieve from the often crushing weight of their daily lives. Despite my disdain for Candide, I have somehow found myself following the advice of Voltaire: “We must cultivate our garden.” Through the continued growth of my little plant family, I am able to cultivate a fulfilling project outside of my academic pursuits. When one of my succulents grows a new leaf, it proves to me that life can continue, and even flourish, in the adverse conditions that often surround a student. In this limbo period between childhood and adulthood that we call college, plants fulfill our need to nurture something without asking too much of us. Compared to pets, plants don’t require nearly as much work, attention, or financial sacrifice, while still providing us with a joy we might not find otherwise. For now at least, I hope to continue to give my plants the best life possible and can only hope that I will one day be experienced enough to introduce a pet into my little family.

“It seems to me that the answer lies in the solitary lifestyle that college promotes.”

WORDS BY MOLLY KEARNAN PHOTO BY ARIA BURDON DASBACH

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A MEETING WITH MARLEE HOW DANCE AND MOVEMENT BECAME ONE WOMAN'S COMMITMENT TO HERSELF

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“My own commitment to movement is really what kept me alive.”

arlee Grace is an artist, dancer, and entrepreneur who lives in Point Reyes, CA. She has a distinguished Instagram feed, @personalpractice, where she documents herself dancing in different settings. For Marlee, dance is a vehicle to navigate her experiences, emotions, and humanness. The honesty and vulnerability of the movement on her feed is a refreshing taste of reality in today’s filtered and curated world. I sat down to talk with her about her journey with art and dance and the possible journey others can have with these things as well.

Q: How/when did you start dancing? When I was born, I was in the womb upside-down backwards folded in half, and my legs were spread out. My mom had a c-section, and I came out butt-first, and in many ways – like the line from that T. Rex song – “I danced myself right out the womb.” My first memory of me dancing is this home video of me in the slip under my Easter dress. We got home, and I took the dress off and just had the slip on, and I’m dancing to Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation.” Janet Jackson was also my first concert in the fourth grade. She is one of the most incredible dancers and choreographers. I’ve really always been dancing, and I think that’s why I then continued as a classically trained ballet dancer and have a BFA in dance from the University of Michigan, which is a modern dance program. Now, I continue to study compositional improvisation with the Architects, which [is a group of women] who study improvisation as a performance technique in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I feel very qualified to be a dancer, but I also always joke that saying, “I’m a dancer,” has been one of the hardest labels to give myself. To me, dancing feels like walking, it feels like breathing. I’ve always been wanting to move my body.

even mean?” I can literally dance anywhere and whenever I want. I can decide when and how I want to dance – why am I not doing it? So I started posting some videos of me dancing in the store on the Have Company site. But I was noticing that it was a little disconnected from that project, and I decided to make a separate project. Personal practice came to me as the name for it. And I am not necessarily upset that that’s the name for it, but sometimes I feel bad because the words ‘personal’ and ‘practice’ are [universal] like, everyone has a personal practice. But that’s the point: this is my personal practice. Q: What does your personal practice look like when nobody’s watching? Is it much different from what is displayed on your instagram? Do you ever fall? Yes, yes and yes. I do fall, there are a couple good videos of me falling. There’s one where I’m in this really beautiful bathing suit I just bought myself in this lake in Maine. It’s so beautiful, it’s this very goddess moment, I’m really moving slowly, and I just trip on a rock, and fall. Then you hear my friends laughing. But I loved posting that. And that’s another good question or good part of it all; do I fall, or what do I curate that people see? Because at the end of the day, I am often practicing from anywhere between two minutes to a couple of hours, depending on what I’m doing and depending on how much I film of it. Obviously, I’m editing which part you see, if I film for three minutes and you see 15 seconds, I’m gonna pick what I think are the best looking fifteen seconds. My personal practice is also a lot of writing, a lot of

Q: How did @personalpractice develop? How long have you been doing it for? I started @personalpractice in July of 2015 when I was in Lancaster with the Architects. I was there for their yearly intensive MICI, which stands for Movement Intensive in Compositional Improvisation. I had been using social media to run my business in Michigan, which was a shop/workshop space and artists’ residency called Have Company. I graduated from college in 2010, opened Have Company by 2013, and by 2015, five years out of college, I felt like, “Oh, I’m not really dancing that much.” I was only dancing once a year when I would go to MICI. I was hit with this feeling where I kept saying “I wish I was dancing more,” and I heard myself say that out loud enough times, and I was like, “What does that

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organizing, a lot of hanging out with my friends, a lot of hosting people and being hosted, a lot of collage-y typewriter stuff – that’s what shows up in my zines. Not drinking is a large part of my personal practice, and being in recovery communities with other people who don’t drink, teaching, and creative advising. That’s a big part of my work and my practice: sitting in my office and with lot of books and tools to uncover my own blocks and help other people uncover theirs.

saved my life. I really think there were some moments in there, especially as someone who used to turn to drugs and alcohol, where I was like, “What is there left to turn to?” I feel like I have friends to thank and therapists to thank and lots of things to thank. But I think my own commitment to movement is really what kept me alive.

Q: How has movement impacted your life? What role does it play for you?

Q: What advice or tips would you give to someone who wants to try to use dance as a therapeutic release? How would you suggest they begin to go about it?

My partner and I were together for four years, and then after about four years we decided that either we needed to seperate or shift our partnership. It needed a radical change. Then I went to the dance intensive and started @personalpractice, and in some ways I feel surprised at the timing of that. Like, I can’t believe I started that and then went through this insane life change, but at the same time, of course that is when that happened. And I think in part I needed an anchor, something to come to every day if I can’t come to this partner anymore. I have to be able to come to myself. That was the year of literally dancing every single day, documenting it every single day, and sharing it every single day. But I think the question of how it impacted my life definitely [prevailed] while going through, in year five, ending that partnership through a legal divorce, splitting all of our belongings, and moving out of our house. I closed my business, sold everything I owned, and moved to California almost exactly a year ago. Having the commitment of movement everyday

I definitely like the ‘begin anywhere’ mentality. Another one of the Architects, Pam Vale – one of her exercises is just crossing a room from one end to the other in a solo, and you just improvise across. One of the sort of phrases she gives is “begin before you are ready,” because there’s thirty people, and you’re sort of waiting for your moment and thinking, “How am I gonna start?” And I love the [the idea of] going in and starting, beginning before you are ready. When I have one on one sessions with folks about their own creative practice, there’s a lot of shame that we’re all holding about not having started yet. That is my biggest character defect, whether it’s dishes or telling someone sorry or doing a project. Even making the book ended up taking so much longer than I meant to, and that was really painful to be like, “Is it even worth it anymore?” Often I receive comments or emails like, “I am fifty-five and haven’t danced in thirty years and you made me want to start dancing.” And I feel like I’m going to cry.

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Q: Do you have any books, media, or resources you would recommend for someone wanting to explore some of these ideas of movement as self care and self expression? My friend just gifted me the most incredible book by Anna Helprin called Movement Ritual. She is 96 and lives here in Marin and still teaches two days a week. She’s another person who talks about movement as a daily practice. I am also a Twyla Tharp fan, and she has a book that is also about her creative process and practice which is really incredible. I love Grapefruit and Acorn by Yoko Ono, who would probably be another performer, mover, whose writing is really impactful and really inspiring to me – along with Marina Abramovic.

Center is to create connections and collaboration between people, ideas, and experiences. Its current form is a beautiful creative space in Inverness, CA that will serve as a meeting point for all sorts of these things. One can follow the evolution of this special venture at www.centercenter.space or on instagram, @__center__. Additionally, Marlee holds dance classes, quilting workshops, and creative advising sessions in West Marin. Marlee’s book A Sacred Shift: A Book About Personal Practice can be bought on her website, along with zines and other art that she and her friends have made. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

WORDS & PHOTOS BY CHASE WILMOT

Marlee is currently working on a new project called, Center, that is being defined as it goes. The main goal of

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f lora arte

HIDDEN PEACE AND REFUGE IN THE MIDST OF THE CHAOS OF BERKELEY

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in Song is the premier florist in the Berkeley area and the owner of Flora Arte, a flower and plant store on the intersection of University Avenue and Martin Luther King Boulevard where one can find succulents, ferns, and any manner of aesthetically pleasing pots. Jin received his BA and his MA in Archaeology and Art History from Seoul National University. After finishing his graduate studies, he went on to work for a highly esteemed florist in Korea. He eventually came to work for the Asian Art Museum of San Francisco before opening Flora Arte in Berkeley. Flora Arte is an oasis of calm amid the hectic chaos of Berkeley. The rows of artfully potted plants, which Jin describes as his “small exhibitions,” have an elegant and calming presence. Breathing in the incense and browsing through the garden allows one to get in touch with “green energy” while enjoying a reprieve from the demands of Berkeley’s stressful environment.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE IN BERKELEY? This is a very personal question, because I love Berkeley. I live in San Francisco now, but I’ve been in the bay area since 2014. Berkeley is so unique, and I really love the artistic spirit. I can feel creativity in every part of this city— every shop and corner has something special and inspiring to discover. I especially love the gardens of Berkeley. San Francisco doesn’t have many home gardens, of course, but the homes here all seem to have their own unique style of garden. There is so much enthusiasm for nature here-- almost like a green energy-- and I love walking down streets like Addison and taking in the artistic designs of their gardens.

WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO BECOME A FLORIST? WHAT IN PARTICULAR ABOUT THE PROFESSION DREW YOU TO IT? That’s a very long story. I was an artist, and I received a BA in Archaeology and Art History and a MA in Art History from Seoul National University, so I was trained as an artist for ten years. After I graduated, I was emotionally and physically exhausted, so I decided to take a break by taking classes with a florist. The instructor of the class saw my talent and hired me, and I worked in a premier flower shop in Korea. I eventually came to work in the Asian Art Museum, but I felt myself drawn back to the creative spirit I had found in making art with plants.

HOW DO PLANTS DIFFER AS AN ARTISTIC MEDIUM FROM OTHER TYPES OF ART THAT YOU HAVE PRACTICED? Working with flowers and flora is a process of working with constantly changing living materials. I love all parts of plants and they are an incredibly expressive artistic medium-their colors and shapes are very inspiring. Being a florist is similar to being a curator in that you have a direction or an idea for an exhibition. When you create a painting, you can control the composition and sketch out your vision and artistic intention, but flowers almost never follow your original thoughts. For example, I might perfectly place a tulip, but it will grow and change by the next day-- it might grow closer to the sun or unfurl, but it will never stay exactly the same. This is the great difficulty of being a florist, but it’s also the great pleasure of being a florist as your art takes on a life of its own and becomes something new while still containing elements of your original artistic vision. I see myself as a curator in a way, and every design I create or plant I place is a small exhibition. They all have their own direction, and my process of choosing pots from vendors and is very much like the process a curator undergoes-- it’s like my store is my own museum exhibition, but in a living form filled with vitality and green energy.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MAIN SOURCES OF INSPIRATION? A major source of my inspiration is instagram. I can see emerging styles and new forms of floral art from all over the world, and I can incorporate that progress and innovation into my own work.

WHERE DO YOU FIND THE CONTAINERS AND PLANTS FOR YOUR STORE? It’s 2018 and we can do so much that we couldn’t do before. I order the pieces that contain my plants from all over the USA. I have vendors in Arizona and Minnesota, and I have the ability to access all different types of vendors for very unique products that accent my plants. Again, it’s like the process of being a curator and deciding how to combine elements to produce an overall vision and artistic direction. This allows me to make truly unique designs, as I find elements from all types of different places. California has very strict laws about importing plants, so while the pieces I place the plants in come from all over, the plants themselves come from local farms. I love working with local businesses. I travel all over Northern California to find the plants, and at times it can be very time consuming and tiring, but it’s a really beautiful journey to undergo. I get many of my house plants from Half Moon Bay, and the garden plants come from Santa Rosa and Monterey.

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHICH PLANTS TO STOCK YOUR STORE WITH?

the leaves is so unique. I think the Latin name might even be derived from the Latin word for monster.

My top priority is uniqueness. One day one of my friends came in and told me that the design of my plants and the store is more like that of an artist’s studio than it is of a florist’s shop, but I believe that being a florist and creating unique pieces is a fundamentally artistic process. Owning a business typically means that you have to generalize to an audience and produce a large amount of similar products because they meet a certain type of demand, but I prefer to create unique designs with my plants. Each plant is different and grows differently, so by treating them like their own small exhibition, I believe that I am respecting the nature of plants as ever-changing and individual creations. As a person with a background in Asian art, I’m also very drawn to ceramics. I think that there is a beautiful balance you can create when you combine plants and ceramic in a design, and I always try to find that balance in my work. Recently, I’ve really enjoyed the whale pieces that we’re currently stocking. I design them with hanging plants to convey a sort of natural and life-like look-- it’s like emulating the effect of water. It’s hard to put the idea into words, but I believe that the dangling tendrils of the plants make it seem like the whale is actually breathing and swimming in the air.

ARE STUDENTS YOUR MOST POPULAR DEMOGRAPHIC?

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE TYPE OF PLANT? Personally, I really love lilies. When I was a young boy, I had a very large window facing a small garden with lots of white lilies. It felt like having a sculpture garden—the shape and the fragrance really shaped by experience with my plants when I was young. As a store owner I love lilies, but I don’t stock them because they’re highly toxic to pets like cats. But someday I would like to have a large garden with lilies again. My favorite plant in the store right now is the Monstera-- it just has such a Californian look to it. The shape of

Berkeley is a very unique city, so there are lots of residents, commuters, and students that come into the store. I would say most of my customers are students from UC Berkeley or Berkeley City College. They usually buy gifts for friends or plants to furnish their studios. I can tell that students really like to visit during midterm and final seasons-- they really fall in love with the fragrance and atmosphere of our shop. Downtown Berkeley doesn’t really have a peaceful or calm garden area, so I try to make my shop a very welcoming and relaxing place where people can find peace and relief from the hectic space. I think we also appeal to students because they often can’t have gardens of their own, so they enjoy spending time here in our garden. I love sharing this garden space because I believe that it really allows people to experience a unique form of calmness and peace. I also love seeing the creativity of the students. They’re all such creative people, and I love seeing which pots and plants they pick out. It’s hard to generalize the way they inspire me, but they way they interact with plants is very special.

HOW DO PEOPLE USUALLY INTERACT WITH PLANTS WHEN THEY ENTER THE STORE? ARE THEY EXCITED? ARE THEY WORRIED ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THE PLANTS? It’s exactly half and half. Many people in Berkeley know a lot about plants and how to take care of them, but many people don’t have that knowledge and feel nervous about taking care of plants. Even though they might be excited to be in the store, they worry about accidentally killing the plant, and plants are living things so I can understand that worry. Students generally are limited in experience but they are very venturous and I love that attitude because I’m always willing to help them find their specific plants. I strongly believe that everyone has their own affinity with plants and it’s important that each person finds the plants that are best for them. There is the right type of plant out there for everyone, and I love helping people find the type of plant that works for them because it allows them to gain confidence in their ability to take care of more plants in the future.

WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON QUESTION THAT PEOPLE ASK? The most common question I get is, “What is the best plant for low light?” The modern home, especially in a city like Berkeley, usually doesn’t have many windows or a lot of space. Offices are difficult, too, because there are cubicles and desks that block light. But we should remember that we are in California! Often what we consider to be “low light” is actually more than enough light for plants. I would like people to know that they can be braver when they’re picking out plants, because the plants may need less light than they think. You

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can even take this shop as an example-- the back half doesn’t have tons of light like a greenhouse would, but the plants are perfectly happy and thriving.

WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE LOVE RECEIVING PLANTS OR FLOWERS AS GIFTS? The act of giving a plant to someone is almost like giving them a small cosmos. It’s like sharing a little universe, or at least a small garden. Having a plant by your window may not seem like much, but taking care of a plant can become a very fulfilling and amazing experience. Sharing plants is like sharing a type of green energy with the people you care about.

WHAT ROLE DO YOU THINK PLANTS SHOULD PLAY IN OUR LIVES? Functionally, plants help people live healthier lives. For example, if you put aloe vera in your bedroom, it produces lots of oxygen so it could even improve your quality of sleep. Air purifying plants can make people’s homes healthier spaces to live in, and I think it’s important to surround yourself with something that will make you both happier and healthier. We also all need a relationship with something, whether that relationship is with a person or an animal, and plants can become a sort of presence in someone’s life. They can make us happy, sad, relieved—anything. I really hope people make emotional connections with plants because you can have long term relationships with them as you nurture them. Just having a living plant close to you can change you in a positive and spiritual way.

I think plants also allow people to experience green mediation. Everyone likes to say that they will eventually have a large garden, but the important thing is the present—who knows when you will be able to have a big garden? Any type of small plant can be your garden. When I sit in my gardens in the morning, I feel a very unique and special form of peace. It’s hard in the modern day to experience this type of peace, but it’s important to try and have a “garden meditation” that heals you, regardless of how large your garden is. I do lots of deep breathing in my garden and it always brings me so much peace. I am a Buddhist and I have found that I can feel the type of peace that I find in a Buddhist temple by sitting and meditating in my garden.

WORDS BY OLIVIA LEWKE PHOTOS BY CARISSA LEWIS & ANNIE MAGUIRE

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K A R POPPY MOLETSANE

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ntering the Berkeley Art Museum and Pacific Film Archive, one can’t help but marvel at the striking navy, turquoise, and orange pigments of the 60 x 25 foot mural facing the museum’s entrance. Painted by Karabo Poppy Moletsane, an illustrator and street artist hailing from the burgeoning creative scene of Johannesburg, the Art Wall mural is at once accessible and remarkably unorthodox. It features a highly stylized depiction of four faces - people Moletsane met on the streets of Johannesburg and Pretoria in the capital of South Africa. One’s eyes linger on the geometric noses and the bright green eyelids and eyebags that the painting’s subjects proudly bear. Her main goal with the project? To preserve and advance what she calls “the South African aesthetic.”

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After graduating with a bachelor’s degree in visual communication, the young illustrator found herself dissatisfied with the underlying missions of creative agencies of South Africa. So, she decided to start her own. Mother Tongue Creative House, a creative agency dedicated to promoting threads of African heritage in artistic production, is centered around the concept of generation and growth from African origins. Among her many projects as a designer - illustrating for zines, festivals, and even music video backdrops - Karabo has collaborated with brands like Apple and Nike. She was recently commissioned to paint a 200 meter mural outside of the Nike Football Training Center in Soweto, Johannesburg, South Africa, inspired by South African football culture.

Molestane’s personal style is neutral toned and sporty-chic -- a stark contrast against the bright hues of the mural she spent a month painting. She sports a septum piercing and exudes a self-assured warmth through her brilliant smile, which she often flashes. The painting of the Art Wall mural is the reason behind her first trip to the United States. In conversation with art curator Ashara Ekundayo one evening at BAMPFA, she recounts her childhood growing up in postApartheid South Africa as a black woman with a strong creative bent. She stresses that a creative career was never a part of the mainstream black female narrative, and it was certainly never included in the expectations that her conservative family had for her.

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However, she notes the generational difference between her and her parents, recognizing that many of the decisions that characterize their lives were not their own. “It’s important for me,” she says, “to identify as a black female doing what I have done, because twenty years ago, this wouldn’t have been a reality for me.” She attributes her pride largely to her father, who, even during Apartheid, was extremely proud to identify as black; while many black families would change their surnames to sound white on work documents to increase the chance of higher pay, her father stuck with the name Molestane. This rootedness-of-self always demonstrated to her that her environment did not have to dictate her identity: “We’re seeing a great rise in black females, specifically in South Africa, looking at the narratives that are thrust upon them and reinterpreting them. When I was first starting my career, there were a lot of people [describing me] as the first black female illustrator, the first black female street artist, and it’s so exhilarating to be part of that, seeing a country grow so rapidly and being a part of something that can change history.” In an interview with Caliber, the designer speaks a bit more about abnormal career trajectories and self confidence. First, she opens up about her university experience as an aspiring multidisciplinary artist at Pretoria’s Open Window Institute for Arts and Digital Science. “While I found graphic design very analytical in a sense, illustration was almost a place to… reinvent.” She was encouraged by her lecturers to study South African illustrators, a couple of whom ended up being her professors at the Institute. She noticed that many of the artists who she studied had styles that were closely aligned with Western aesthetics, so she latched onto two scholar-illustrators in particular who provided inspiration and mentorship in her endeavors to emulate a distinctly African aesthetic. It was also hard to her to find literature on African illustrators altogether, as the occupation itself is still relatively uncommon there. “It’s crazy to think that ten years ago, doing illustration full time would be unheard of. Black people were not often exposed to anything but basic degrees. It’s also a very expensive course to study, so black people going to study something this expensive, this new, this unpredictable, didn’t seem like a viable option. But now if you Google ‘South African artists,’

you would see tons and tons of really impressive work, and I feel that that has just [come] from the last five years.” She doesn’t shy away from talking about her fears in choosing a life of uncertainty, either: “It was extremely terrifying, having to answer to my parents who sent me to study art for three years. Stability and creativity were two things not often put together. But I came across this one guy who was a black South African illustrator and graphic designer who was doing extremely good work. And so I thought, if this is possible for one person, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be possible for tons of South Africans. Seeing someone else achieve it gave me more confidence to pursue it myself.” When asked how she persisted despite constant the skepticism of her family and peers, she responds that, “At the end of four years basically battling my parents to let me pursue a creative course and struggling to finish my degree, I just thought, no, I didn’t go through all of that to end up pursuing something I wasn’t passionate about. People think [studying art] is the easy way out, but it’s actually quite the opposite. The world is also changing so fast -- three years ago I thought I’d be doing something completely different, and I never thought things would pan out this way. It’s too difficult to say okay, this is my three year plan -- technology changes too quickly, society changes too quickly.” Moletsane defines her style as a kind of Afro Futurism, an aesthetic movement that aims to modernize the African aesthetic by combining it with futuristic elements typically not associated with traditional African designs. Her avant-garde approach to color-use as a means to challenge conventional representations of race, depicting people as having not only brown but green and orange skin, has garnered some controversy among her more traditionallyminded audience members. “A lot of the time when you look at South Africa, a lot of people still have a very realistic view of art,” she says. “I think often the first thing people want to explain in their heads [when they look at my art] is what race is this person, because that can tell us more about their background, and then they have a preconceived notion about the person that I’ve drawn. But the style I work in is working toward breaking that. A lot of the message I have within my work is the potential for the African aesthetic, looking toward what the future of what contemporary South African art might look

like. If I produce a work that speaks to the exact stereotypes that someone might already have looking at an image, then that’s regression. I think that tension of challenging that train of thought is something I want to have in my work, because we should be thinking, why do we necessarily need to be able to differentiate races within art that is a portrait.” Elaborating more on her technique in constructing the Art Wall mural, she describes how she deconstructed the faces she drew, drawing each feature individually. The eye, she explains, is comprised of several separate entities: the pupil, the iris, the eyelid, the eye bag. She paints with her earbuds in, listening to a mix of contemporary pop music from the U.S. and South African music to remind her of home. At night, she allows her brain to wind down by watching American shows like “Catfish” and “Search Party.” On the weekends, she explores Oakland and San Francisco. She adds that the street art here differs from the street art in Johannesburg quite significantly - while graffiti culture dominates in South Africa as the primary street art aesthetic, the street art in the Bay Area is more muralistic. Her advice for aspiring creatives? Embrace struggle and know your purpose. “Don’t be discouraged by the amount of hard work it takes to do what you love. It’s not like after you graduate the stress lessens, but it’s exhilarating to constantly learn and contribute to your own aesthetic and your country’s aesthetic. You’re speaking on a lot of issues a lot of people in other spheres of work wouldn’t be able to talk about freely, and you’re really able to be an agent of change in that sense. Don’t be discouraged by how long it takes to find your style either. It is extremely difficult to do this line of work, but it is also incredibly rewarding.”

WORDS BY MIEKO ANDERS PHOTOS BY KINCSO DOMICZI

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THE BAY AREA’S FOODIE CULTURE

hether you have snapped a photo of the meal in front of you before eating, reviewed a restaurant on Yelp, or simply enjoy eating good food, you are an active contributor to “Foodie Culture.” Although the definition of “foodie” has democratized today, it has its roots in describing people who enjoy critiquing food and often eat at high-end restaurants. First looking at the restaurants that established the coined term “foodie,” we turn to Michelin star restaurants and their standards for good food. With Michelin star restaurants, the value for good food increases and the aestheticization of cuisine continues to be highly acknowledged. As a result, people travel to eat and pay to eat well. Hence, the “Foodie Culture.” San Francisco is one of the most “foodie” cities in the country, with its reputation for quality and taste. Exploring San Francisco’s reputation in high end cuisine, with 279 restaurants honored with Michelin recognition and the most three Michelin star restaurants in the country, can lend more of an insight on Bay Area “Foodie Culture.” The Michelin star system was invented by brothers, Andre and Edouard Michelin, founders of the Michelin tire company. Along with tires, they produced a free guide for drivers that included maps, locations for tires, gas, hotels, and restaurants. After monetizing their guide in 1920, the Michelin brothers focused on high quality listings. They hired restaurant critics to anonymously review restaurants, establishing the guide’s distinguished reputation for its accredited ratings. By 1930, the Michelin guide created a three star rating system to award a few restaurants for their quality and gastronomy. Today, the Michelin guide rates over thirty thousand establishments across three continents. Michelin stars are awarded on five criteria: “quality of products, mastery of flavour and cooking techniques, personality of the chef in his [or her] cuisine, value for money, and consistency.” Restaurants are graded from a collective decision by multiple critics. With three star ratings as the highest honor, San Francisco beats out New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Washington D.C. for the most restaurants with three stars. Looking into a few of the top rated restaurants in San Francisco reveals the “Foodie Culture” that turns normal customers into food critics. The seven San Francisco based restaurants with the highest Michelin rating are similar in ambience, service, presentation, and quality, which appears to be the

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separating factors causing their rating. Overall ambience is described as “serene,” “zen-like,” “clean,” with “meticulous design.” The service is held with high esteem to validate the twenty percent additional service charge added to each bill. Ultimately, presentation and quality of cuisine carries the most weight in the restaurants’ ratings. Plating the most expensive and rare items of food in the world, such as caviar and black truffles, gives these Michelin star restaurants their reputation and expensive taste. Each serves an evolving tasting menu throughout the year with a cost upwards of two hundred dollars per person. Dining-in estimates a three hour experience. Coi is San Francisco’s newest three Michelin star recipient by head chef Daniel Patterson. Currently, Coi has an eleven course tasting meal at approximately twohundred and fifty dollars per person. Coi is an American cuisine restaurant with hints of Japanese and seafood accents. Its Michelin posted review praises Chef Patterson for his artistry, “precision and meticulous technique.” Similar to Michelin and critic reviews, customers eagerly scramble for a reservation and review it for themselves. Evaluating customers review and judge Coi along with other Michelin winners as food critics themselves. Writing lengthy reviews on blogs or on Yelp, they describe their experience and reason for dining. Most reviewers acknowledge Coi’s Michelin rating as their reason for checking out the restaurant. Some even travel to San Francisco specifically to try these particular types of high end cuisine. People detail their meals with lists of ingredients and their rating of each course. However, because many go into their meal with high expectations, they are often hugely disappointed. Coi’s overall rating on Yelp is four out of five stars, which is the same for the rest of San Francisco’s three star restaurants. Although it was less common to find, many unsatisfied reviewers were disappointed by the food since they expected to be “wow’d.” These reviewers praise the overall ambience and experience they had during their meal, but when it came to the cuisine, they were less impressed. It is safe to say everyone has their own taste in food. Michelin restaurants, like all restaurants, cannot please every person’s individual tastes. Nevertheless, considering the high price point and reputation Michelin restaurants have, it is reasonable for a customer to expect to be “wow’d,” which most people are. As the home to 279 Michelin recognized restaurants, San Francisco has become a center for good food. With so much competition in cuisine and dining, the standards and expectations for San Francisco’s restaurants are already high. In order for restaurants to compete and survive they consider their competition and find ways to attract a foodie customer, which is usually through good food. With so many opportunities for good food in the hub of the Bay Area, a “Foodie Culture” has emerged.

WORDS BY NIKKI YOSHIHARA PHOTO BY ZOE ZIEGLER

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R E D E F I N H OW I N F LU E N C E R S ARE FRAMING THE FUTURE O F FA S H I O N

I N G C O O L

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n the ever-changing landscape of fashion, there’s been a Sevigny, Rodarte, and Adidas), made Opening Ceremony the shakeup of what and who is cool. Fashion thrives on imper- unlikely incubator for fashion innovation. The gravitas of its manence and relentless innovation; trends are born and over mission to transform the business of fashion has drawn worldat a rapid pace. Dictating the ins and outs of fashion, lies the wide attention to its dynamic roster of designers. As a result, role of the curator. As an alternative to definitive directives of Opening Ceremony has successfully reached beyond its storeglossy fashion magazines, the nonpartisan community of cura- front and generated a loyal cult following as a major influencer tors (or influencers, in the digital age) takes consumer market of fashion. influence and trend forecasting into new territory. Unlike pubThen came the cultivation of the millennial digital influlications that rely heavily on encer. While landscape advertising revenue from concept boutiques like brands, these individuals Opening Ceremony re“These individuals are able to broadcast are not directly beholden to main the trailblazers anyone. A trait that has alof curating fashion, the their opinions to a wide audience, serving lowed them to become a digital influencer poscredible source regarding sesses a uniquely omas the conduit through which brands keep all things fashion and style, nipresent platform that shattering the opacity of the aims to carry the neverconsumers engaged.” industry. Among those eaending conversation of gerly welcoming the change fashion. These individuare minorities — voices that als are able to broadcast fell to deaf ears as the industheir opinions to a wide try infamously appropriated minority culture and capitalized audience, serving as the conduit through which brands keep on its originality. If consumers were once easily influenced by consumers engaged. What they say carries significant weight, fashion bibles — it is no longer the case. The fashion industry making fashion far more democratic than it was before the has now been brought face to face with the “we [the consumers] age of Instagram. But the off-putting and crumbling hierarchy speak, you listen” reality of this new era. within the industry is leaving digital influencers under fire. DisIn the early noughties, Humberto Leon and Carol Lim, missed as outsiders by fashion’s bigwigs, influencers have been founders of the concept store Opening Ceremony and co-cre- skirting the walls of high fashion in growing numbers, silently ative directors of Kenzo, were New York City’s underground laying the ground for an unprecedented changing of the guard. gatekeepers of what was hip — packaging downtown New Last year, Vogue.com’s editors published what was supYork cool and exporting it for the rest of the world. Their savvy posedly a reflective recap of Milan Fashion Week, which then collaborations, with a network of talented friends (think Chloë devolved into a scathing criticism against fashion bloggers

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renouncing their credibility. What they did not discern then is that the fashion world was at a tipping point; as the Internet grew up, bloggers and social media personalities racked up loyal virtual followings and significant influence, consequently making the most important currency the number of followers. Chiara Ferragni, founder of The Blonde Salad, is one such iteration proving the naysayers wrong. Landing at #1 on Forbes’ 2017 Top Influencers list in the Fashion category, she has been a subject of a Harvard Business School case study exploring the success of her entrepreneurial endeavour as a blogger-cum-influencer. Whether anyone could have anticipated a world whereby self-expression would became universal and imperative is debateable, but no one can deny that it’s a trend that is incubating within the fashion market: the embracing of the outliers. Enlisting the likes of Lily-Rose Depp, Willow Smith, and Cara Delevingne as stars of major campaigns, Chanel is extracting juice from ingénue endorsements to engage a new generation of consumers who value online starpower and the “cool girl vibe.” Falling right in line with its long-term marketing strategy, Chanel could not be more prudent in terms of future survival. Rising from relative obscurity, Balmain grew in prominence after recruiting Olivier Rousteing as creative director of the maison. Rousteing, highly adept with digital marketing strategies, pulled the curtain back on high fashion and presented the world a steady drip of content showcasing the more naturalised version of the industry, increasing accessibility. Straying from convention, Rousteing’s “Balmain army” of muses — most notably, the Kardashians — propelled the house to new heights, making it a household name among fashion insiders and the public alike due to Rousteing’s clever exploitation of high-profile publicity on his social media page and total celebration of social media stars, all while maintaining the luxury and the je ne sais quoi air of the Parisian brand. Brands like Chanel and Balmain have reinvigorated the luxury market and sustained their place on top while forging a wider path for digital influencers, influencers which are now becoming accepted as veritable ambassadors of the fashion world. In the past decade, we have seen drastic strides taken by these individuals, from novice fashionistas to household names sitting in the front row at Fashion Week.

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Beyond individual influencers, independent brands that are newly established are taking the fashion world by storm, creating stiff competition for established ateliers. As a collective, they are equally crucial as major brands in setting trends and sparking innovation. Take Supreme, for example — in 2000, Louis Vuitton filed a lawsuit against the streetwear brand for unauthorized use of its trademark. Almost two decades removed, LV went from slapping Supreme with a cease-and-desist to partnering up with the skate brand. The brands partnered up for the highly-anticipated Supreme x LV collection which debuted a hybrid of the iconic Supreme red-box logo and the same monogram print that once caused Supreme so much trouble. The Supreme and Louis Vuitton relationship tells a tale of a symbiotic existence

that encapsulates the greatest shift in dynamics between streetwear and high fashion. As a result of an uncompromising ethos that remains fiercely protective of its image, Supreme eventually gained the upper hand in this bizarre role reversal. Today, when image is everything, we duly reward those who succeed in cultivating their own identities. Supreme’s influence in street culture and celebrity style aligns itself with the crème de la crème of contemporary fashion, achieving an unexpected global reach and ushering in a new generation of streetwear labels. Rather than diluting the underground, niche nature of the streetwear scene, these new faces are giving that scene some much-deserved validation and streetwear a seat at the table. Virgil Abloh launched the OffWhite brand to bridge the gap between

streetwear and haute couture, borrowing equally from Supreme cool image while embracing a Renaissance aesthetic. A multi-hyphenate Instagram phenomenon and super-influencer himself, Abloh told W Magazine when talking about his outsider status in fashion circles: “We were a generation that was interested in fashion and weren’t supposed to be there [Paris Fashion Week]. We saw this as our chance to participate and make current culture. In a lot of ways, it felt like we were bringing more excitement than the industry was.” Perhaps no other brand is as deft as Off-White in extracting what people want. Instead of quoting fashion rules from dusty fashion bibles, they listen to the digital generation. Yet, despite Abloh and his peer designers’ optimism to modernise fashion and legitimize streetwear, notable adversaries of streetwear do not recognise them as peer designers. It is indicative of the divide between the generation that dismisses hierarchies in fashion and the one that repudiates the idea that streetwear

is synonymous with luxury wear. In the past year alone, however, it seems that fashion houses are beginning to understand the relevance of hip-hop and bootleg culture in high fashion. The arrival of Alessandro Michele at Gucci and Demna Gvasalia at Balenciaga saw a rare unification between edgy street aesthetics and luxury-level fabrication on the runway, adding a breath of fresh air to the storied houses while tapping into the tastes of the “post-Tumblr generation.” However, not everyone experienced the same success. Burberry, struggling to strike a chord with the “cool kids,” failed to revitalize the legacy of its iconic red, black, and tan check and despite efforts to showcase its pioneering tech-savvy strategy. Lanvin, on the other hand, misinterpreted the idea of innovation and while attempting to incorporate novel experimentation, it instead presented empty reiterations of an old legacy and outdated logomania. As streetwear labels grow in sophistication, it is impossible to deny the seismic influence of the individuals behind them

and their ability to wield or shape fashion trends. They are responsible for the rebellion against a system that stifles creativity, instead fostering an organic, enthusiastic culture that has grown increasingly prevalent among designers. Though change is welcome in an industry addicted to novelty, it is important to note that change should not be credited to brands who are complicit in co-opting originality and refiguring it as their own creation. The role of the fashion influencer has changed significantly since the dawn of the Internet — this community of outsiders is obliterating the bastions of traditional fashion publications as they steer the world towards certain trends, products, or brands. Given that experimentation and change is at the crux of what fashion is, it can only be a great thing. WORDS BY BEATRICE ONG PHOTOS BY SARAH LEE

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EMMA

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ALLUYN

SEAN

FARKAS

ARIA

BURDON

DASBACH

HENRY

DEMARCO

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ACADEMIC APATHY

he world outside our ‘Berkeley bubble’ can peer into our elite university and see, at least on the surface, what one would expect — students loading their schedules with excessive units, juggling two or even three majors, participating in multiple clubs and student organizations, and experiencing constant internship recruitment. All of this suggests that Berkeley students are inherently driven. When one walks into lectures and looks at the hundreds of blank faces staring out from behind computer screens, it doesn’t seem to

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be a love for the material being taught that brought those students to the lecture hall. This is not to say that Berkeley students are dispassionate and detached from their academic careers in the sense that they do not care about their futures; rather, there is a pervasive and damaging sense of apathy that belies our hyper-motivated image. Recent studies have identified this trend in academia and named it ‘academic apathy,’ otherwise known as a “behavior characterized by a lack of enthusiasm, lethargy and indifference

in the classroom setting.” We can first examine this issue informally through the lens of lived student experience. Imagine spending roughly four hours with your friend in Moffitt. It’s nearing 12am, and you’ve both consumed ungodly quantities of coffee. You can feel the purple bags beginning to form under your eyes, and tomorrow’s Biology 1B midterm is making your head spin. You think about how, immediately after the midterm, you’ll have to go to one of Berkeley’s illustrious labs to organize data in a massive excel spreadsheet.

Then you’ll rush to your job, which you need in order to keep up with the expense of merely living in Berkeley. You look over at your friend, who is frantically pounding out an essay on a piece of literature she felt ambivalent about. She will spend tomorrow evening working at her law internship. Are either of you excited about what you’re studying? Do either of you care? It’s difficult to see how passion would factor into this dynamic. The day-to-day pressures of studying create an exhausting environment that distances students from their passion for their courses. Older students crack jokes about freshman who sit in the front of lecture halls and obnoxiously answers every question, but perhaps we ought to consider the source of this bitterness. Why do we no longer sit in the front of lecture halls and eagerly

raise our hands? Older students agree they’re “too tired because [they’ve] actually been doing relevant things” or because “at this point [they’re] over it,” whatever “it” is. One student gave a particularly illuminating confession: “Even when I’m really interested in something and plan on pursuing it further, I’m too exhausted to be excited about it. It’s nice that I’m interested, but I just can’t manifest that interest externally, and sometimes I just can’t even bring myself to care, even though I’m still doing all the work.” This is a rather condemning indictment of the academy’s inability to cultivate sustained enthusiasm in students. However, some students find that coming to Berkeley and engaging with the excellence of their peers and the faculty has only grown their passion in their area of interest. One student even

THE DAY-TO-DAY PRESSURES OF STUDYING CREATE AN EXHAUSTING ENVIRONMENT THAT DISTANCES STUDENTS FROM THEIR PASSION FOR THEIR COURSES. stated, “I feel like I’ve found a whole new way to articulate my passions by being at Berkeley. I didn’t even really know what I loved about history until I found it here in my classes.” Another explained, “I didn’t even know what doing research in a lab was like before I actually got here and started doing it.

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It’s honestly so much better than I could have imagined. I feel important, like I’m helping someone discover something that will change the field. I can’t wait to work in my own lab and try to do that on my own.” But the fact is that many students at Berkeley feel overwhelmed by the demands the institution places on them, and they often cope by adopting an apathetic approach to their courses. They maintain the mentality that everything will be better when they can just get a good job after graduation. We disregard the present and look forward to futures that aren’t coming soon enough. If this sounds uncomfortably familiar, there are some ways in which you can combat this apathy and its draining effects. I spoke with the comparative literature major advisor to get a sense of what types of obstacles students face and how students and their levels of enthusiasm might change over the course of their four years. When I asked Tony about his experience with student apathy, he identi-

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fied two types of cases where he has seen apathy take hold of students. “Oftentimes students will feel bogged down when they’re confronted with laborious lower division requirements. Students also face the pressure of hyperspecialization. Some people might enjoy what they study, but there’s a pressure in academia to branch into the more obscure and minute details the further you progress. That can be great, but some people are what I call generalists. They prefer the bigger picture and learning a lot about many different topics, rather than just honing in on something they might not feel particularly interested in. That can be remedied by … taking a breather to explore other courses before returning to that specialized focus. Then you’ll return to that focus with the bigger picture motivating you again.” Tony’s words might resonate with many of us, as we all start out in our introductory courses and are encouraged to “explore outside” of our majors and to “find the right path.” Yet these four years

flash past, and suddenly we find ourselves writing sixty page theses on topics we feel ambivalent about. You might even find yourself in upper division classes, missing that sense of excitement that you felt as a freshman. If we constantly brush off our potential to be happy by thinking “in four years I’ll be happy,” we create a cycle in which we live our entire lives unhappily. As long as we delude ourselves with the consolation that we’ll be happy through some ephemeral promise of a “someday,” we risk finally reaching that someday and finding it unfulfilling. If you realize that you’ve begun to feel apathetic about your studies, try and pinpoint where your apathy began. Do you remember when you stopped feeling excited about going to class? If you never felt excited about going to class, what made you choose your major in the first place, and is that reason still strong enough to keep you on your current trajectory? Sometimes we forget that people audit the courses that we dread; they show up simply because they enjoy

it. Perhaps try imagining yourself as one of these people. It’s difficult, and nearly impossible to reorient the result-driven paradigms through which we’ve been taught to view our educations, but changing these paradigms can be a truly freeing experience. In addition to the regular notes you take, try to identify one thing that you learned that you did not know when you first walked into the room. As small as a victory that may seem, you’ve expanded your understanding of the world that you inhabit. You can also look at your schedule and see if you allow yourself time to decompress and absorb what you’ve learned each day. It’s elitist to insist that everyone can make the time to do this, considering that so many students work multiple jobs to afford their education. But if you can, find moments in your schedule to allow yourself to be alone with your thoughts, whether that is watching a TV show, drinking some tea, or simply reveling in the act of not doing. Our brains need time to integrate the complicated con-

cepts we’ve been engaging with all day. We don’t have to constantly think about the material we’re learning better understand it. This is a phenomenon known as ‘incubation’— the subconscious evolution of thought elements that were previously present in our conscious awareness. Though you may writing code or outlining a paper when you take time for yourself, that time is still instrumental in the overall learning process. And as much as we’ve all been given this often frustrating piece of advice from relatives, it’s important to take advantage of our location and try to do things that will make you feel happy to be in this space! We have the BAMPFA, the Marina, the botanical gardens, the Fire Trails, and a wide variety of places to eat and window shop. While visiting these places may not be directly applicable to your degree or your studies, it’s important to take the time to explore life outside of the university structure. We all inhabit this hyper-motivated space of pressure and impossible expec-

tations, and it’s difficult to explain what this university feels like to someone who lives outside of it. How can you verbalize that despite your extracurriculars and heavy class load, you don’t really enjoy or feel excited by what you do? That your success isn’t necessarily reflective of your feeling fulfilled by your work, but rather by the intense pressure to perform at a rate that matches those of others around you? It’s important for us to use personalized methods to find spaces and moments of enjoyment and fulfillment in our lives, because we do, contrary to what our pressurized environment would have us believe, have identities and value outside of our careers and it is important that we cultivate and develop those identities.

WORDS BY OLIVIA LEWKE PHOTOS BY HENRY DEMARCO

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MOREÂ·THAN MASOCHISM WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE BDSM COMMUNITY

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t was a Wednesday like any other when my boyfriend was in town, except this time we traded in beers at Triple Rock for beers at the Cat Club. People passed us enveloped in leather, chains, and mesh suits; some in nothing at all. Partners played publicly, tying, spanking, flogging, tormenting, and teasing. And it was consensual and enthusiastic. Surrounded by and participating in our own fetishes for one of the first times in public emboldened me to fully embrace who I am, kinks and all. We felt accepted, not stigmatized. It was like stumbling upon the Garden of Eden in an otherwise repressed hell. I wanted to take a bite of that apple more than anything. But I don’t want to talk about my kinks. I want to talk about morals. When we discuss BDSM and kink communities, we focus on the wrong topics. We stigmatize fetishes, obsess about the fantastical elements, and we completely disregard reality. After 50 Shades of Grey’s release, some people criticized the non-consensual acts in the movie while many came to the rescue of BDSM. Defenders argue--correctly-that what was rendered on that screen is not what actually takes place in the Red Room. While I champion these articles, I can’t help but feel that they don’t fully capture a snapshot of what BDSM and kink communities celebrate. These communities do not just believe in consensual sex, they only participate if it’s consensual. They encourage communication, intimacy, and respect in ways that I never experienced in my normalized, “vanilla” relationships. Now as someone who has experienced power dynamics in hegemonic heterosexual relationships and sexually fluid/kink enthusiastic relationships, I have seen firsthand the benefits of the deeply complex and rewarding ideals and values upheld by BDSM/kink. While I admit that the floggers are fun and the ropes are sexy, I enjoy kink because of the emotions I feel. BDSM is raw. It’s passionate, it’s caring, it’s trusting, it’s respectful, it’s loving. I know it’s hard to imagine, but kink is more than a visual curiosity or physical pleasure; it’s an act that is rooted in ideals and values that encourage closeness. However, I am by no means an expert on the BDSM and kink communities. This article comes from the perspective of a proclaimed novice based on my own

experiences. I understand that this may not encompass the entire spectrum of kink communities and may not speak to all experiences, but I have noticed within my own trek into BDSM/kink that many of the problems I see in normalized dating and sexual relationships are rectified in kink ones. In kink, psychology plays as important a role as the equipment you use. One of the most crucial parts of BDSM/kink is the respect and trust that you must have for your partner. In order to have successfully kinky sex, you have to understand your partner’s emotional boundaries as well as their physical ones. Before I began playing with my first partner, he insisted that I read The New Bottoming Book by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton. Not only do these psychologists and kink enthusiasts teach you about how to properly play and how to get the most out of being submissive, they explore and parse out the psychology behind the desires of masochism. Similarly, for those who enjoy topping (being dominant) or switching (participating as a top or bottom), The New Topping Book by the same authors explores the same themes in sadism. What sets these books apart from the normalized perceptions of kink is that they encourage a mutual understanding of the physical and emotional roles of tops and bottoms. As an initial bottom, I read The New Bottoming Book like a scene kid in high school: somebody finally understood me. But this desire to understand and be understood didn’t cease with my own body, it made me want to understand the psychological and physical desires of my top too. Because in kink communities, the psychology and desires of your partner(s) become your own. After reading these books, I realized that these attitudes that Easton and Hardy championed in the bedroom manifested in public aspects of kink communities as well. In September 2017, my boyfriend and I attended our first Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. The event has garnered criticism of catering to heteronormative groups and becoming more of a tourist attraction; and while this may be true, one of the major problems that I have seen in other “vanilla”, heteronormative atmospheres was still absent from Folsom: objectification. Women of all shapes and sizes walked around naked, people wore leather assless chaps,

furry costumes, and diapers. Some had leashes, others had ball gags. Every kink imaginable was represented and at no point did it feel uncomfortable. No one was afraid of being sexually assaulted. No one was preying on the public nudity, interjecting in other people’s public intimate acts, or disrespectfully catcalling. Everyone respected that this was a sanctuary to express ourselves, not to take advantage of drunk people in their underwear. When we left, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “you know what’s sad? That could never happen if this was a straight, nonkinky event.” And it’s true. At Folsom, I never felt afraid, suspicious, or anxious surrounded by men; but I can’t count the number of times men intimidated and scared me at other events. Watching others around me, wearing much less, seeming to intimate these assertions comforted me. Even the professional dominatrix assigned to give me 10 spankings after spinning the wheel of sexiness and the electrostimulation system demo guy asked for my enthusiastic consent. And it made me realize that the articles online, mine included, constantly begging men for respect and criticizing rape culture always seems to end with a powerful message for a dismal present. They call for a world that has begun to seem like a far off utopia; politics, laws, and culture are changing, but the results are slow. Yet the vision they yearn for is not the landscape of the future, it exists already within the confines of kink/BDSM communities. The respect and trust and consent that we constantly, and crucially, have to demand from the straight, sexually rigid men in our lives creates the foundation for the relationships forged by kink. Through enforcing mutual understanding and respect between partners, it becomes hard to sexually objectify one another. Instead, this amazingly masochistic and sadistic and meaningful and intimate bond grows. One way that this manifests is, tritely, through a strong emphasis on communication. In kink communities, one of the most crucial rules to follow is enacting a safe word and honoring it. However, some people have gone even further, adopting a system used by one of the biggest kink porn production companies, Kink.com. Their old tours of the Armory in San Francisco and their documentary, Kink, explains the 3-word system: green — I like

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this, keep going/harder, yellow — I like this, but lower the intensity, and red — this stops immediately. This system improves the safeword system immensely by encouraging constant updates and communication; and providing levels offers the chance for participants to continue to comfortably explore their experience without ending it. My boyfriend and I have adopted it, and while I’ve only called yellow once or twice, it is much more reassuring than having one option. And it opens the door to many different empowering conversations within kink. In Kink, one director explained how his scenes were intense,

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but he always ensured that the actors felt supported and loved. After each shoot, the actors would often embrace, tell each other how much they care about them and how much they mean to each other. The director facilitated meaningful discussions and ensured that everyone felt comfortable and enthusiastic about the scenes they shot. This stuck out to me not only because it humanized the porn (especially kink porn) industry, it really encompassed the intimacy and trust that kink creates. Similarly, Kink.com videos have long included pre- and post-play interviews with actors and actresses that disarms objectification. Before content begins, the director and actors negotiate

limits and boundaries of the scenes. After the shoot, the players discuss what they enjoyed and how they liked working with their partner. Whether people watch these scenes or not, the fact that Kink.com takes the time to show real negotiations and sweet moments of aftercare reinforces the healthy and productive reality of BDSM and kink. The New Topping Book and the The New Bottoming Book also describe the importance of caring for your partner after play, but to see it enacted and experiencing it yourself puts words to shame. Now I’m not saying that everyone should adopt kink. I respect that not everybody will enjoy it or find it sexually

appealing. I’m not even saying you have to accept or respect the physicality of it. I’m merely asking for you to look past preconceived and taboo notions of BDSM/kink and recognize the healthy sexuality and values that these communities stimulate. They are built on empowering foundations and building meaningful relationships. They encourage consensual and enthusiastic play. They believe in respect and trust. They believe in being loud and having their presence heard. They do not take bullshit from people who abuse the rules. The reason why kink thrives is because of the solid foundation that supports it. Kink is driven by ethics and morals, not damaging

and demeaning disproportionate power dynamics. Reinforcing respect, trust, and understanding between partners-whether for a night or an eternity-facilitates a space for equality in and out of the bedroom. The majority of society can benefit from these attitudes. You don’t have to wear a spandex face mask with zippers to respect the values and virtues of kink. Whips don’t have to hit your ass for you to adopt a kink mentality. Topping doesn’t have to be your preference for you to recognize the morals instilled in kink.The sexiness of kink does not stem from the physicality, it manifests in the psychology. And it’s about time we stop

silencing the voices of these communities and suppressing them with taboo labels based on tangible results of intangible frameworks. Instead, we can learn a lot from kinky discourse. We can find the Garden of Eden in normalized romantic relationships. That utopian can be a reality for everyone if we’re receptive to the ideals and virtues that govern kink communities.

WORDS BY KATIE BERLIN PHOTOS BY ARIA BURDON DASBACH

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“I HAVE A KNACK FOR LEARNING LANGUAGES” AND AND OTHER OTHER MISCONCEPTIONS MISCONCEPTIONS

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started learning French when I was five years old. In Canada, where I grew up, French is an official national language, and thus my mother’s decision to enroll me in a French immersion school was not an uncommon one. By the end of my first year, I could already read and write in French much more fluently than I could in English (my performance in my English middle school’s spelling bees left much to be desired). Before you get too impressed with little Molly, I should explain that it is significantly easier for prepubescent children to learn languages than it is for adults. According to research conducted by the University of Washington, young children can quickly master multiple languages because they have yet to cement a “brain architecture” to fit just one language. Infants younger than 12 months are able to differentiate between the many sets of sounds that come with different languages. Adults, on the other hand, have already mastered their native language and consequently struggle to learn a new language because their brains have difficulty accepting sounds that do not belong to their native language. The brains of prepubescent children have a plasticity that allows for the creation of circuits that result in a much more native, natural acquisition of a language. After puberty, the brain loses much of this plasticity and the process for learning a languages becomes much more difficult. As research continues to prove children’s unique ability to acquire languages however, U.S. public elementary schools continue to cut back on foreign language education. A study from the Center for Applied Linguistics reveals that the number of U.S. public elementary school teaching foreign languages has fallen from 25 percent to 15 percent in the past two decades -- and our current administration is certainly making no effort to reverse this decline. You may well ask: Why do children need to learn a second language, especially when other subjects, like math and engineering, may be more applicable? Other than giving you the opportunity to be (or at least appear) more cultured, being bilingual has been proven to improve the function of your brain, specifically the executive function. The term ‘executive function’ describes the control system of the brain, which affects such functions as planning, attention, and focus. The brains of bilingual children constantly have to make the choice between two languages, which exercises their executive function and thus strengthens it. These repeated micro-decisions increase the neuroplasticity of the brain, therefore proving that the brain of a bilingual child can be completely “rewired.” This rewiring can result in superior problem-solving skills, empathy, sociability, and performance on other skill tests, such as math. The choice to educate children in multiple languages, then, seems obvious -- though it is unfortunately not always a readily available option. Of course, when I myself was a young child learning a second language, I knew nothing of this research. When I was 9, my family exchanged Canada for California, and I exchanged immersive French learning for English. After two years of not speaking French (as I had no one to speak it with), I signed up for introductory French in the sixth grade. Though I was now learning France’s French instead of that of Quebec (Québécois), the foundation proved the same and I found re-learning French a relatively easy task. From then until my senior year of high school, my background in French gave me an advantage that my classmates did

not have and instilled me with the (inaccurate) idea that, much like students who excelled at math, I had a knack for learning languages. It is with this unfounded attitude, then, that I enrolled myself in Italian 1S for my fall semester of sophomore year with the plan to master Italian before I graduated from college. Italian 1S is an accelerated course that combines Italian 1 and 2 and is specifically designed for students with knowledge of another Romance language (French, Spanish, Portuguese, etc.). My knowledge of French only bolstered my confidence that learning Italian would be a breeze, a walk in the park, or any other number of clichés. It is only now, almost a year after I decided to enroll in Italian, that I can truly appreciate the tomfoolery of my assumption that learning another language would be a simple task. Now that I am almost done with Italian 3, I can confidently say that (attempting to) learn Italian over the past year has been the most ambitious and trying academic project that I have undertaken thus far. Though Italian grammar is comparable to French grammar, my inability to roll my r’s, coupled with my failure to improvise even a simple sentence, has crippled

“The brains of bilingual children constantly have to make the choice between two languages.” me in my efforts to learn this famously beautiful language. As it turns out, I do not have a knack for learning languages, but am rather much like other adults who have difficulty learning a new language after already mastering their native language. My easy acquisition of French was not the result of a skill for learning languages but rather the result of my young age, and now that I am many years past puberty, I must tirelessly toil to learn a new language alongside the countless other adults who are trying to do the same. Though my experience of learning Italian has often proved frustrating, it is nonetheless an experience I cherish, as it has taught me to appreciate my fluency in French and value the hard work that is required to learn a new language as an adult. Though I am nowhere near mastering Italian, even the smallest accomplishment of correctly conjugating an “if clause” fills me with unadulterated joy and pride. By learning a new language, I think about the concepts of language and language acquisition differently. I now know what it is to learn a language natively, to re-learn a language, and to learn an entirely new language, and each experience has granted me with a different set of skills. Learning and “mastering” languages, it seems, has been the defining factor of my 15 years of education, and I am entirely unsure of who I would be without it.

WORDS BY MOLLY KEARNAN PHOTO BY PATRICIA RIVERO

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PHOTO BODY

PHOTO

ATTRIBUTIONS

BRINKERHOFF

WILL

ARIA

BURDON

SPREAD: AS

MIGUEL

DASBACH

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ART

SANCHEZ

ANNIE

MAGUIRE

SARAH

LEE

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SEEING “You might have a thousand teddy bears all dancing down the street pretty soon.” I listened to Eli Delia, CTO of Eagle Eye Metrics, deliver this sentence like an oracle, without bluff or jest. This was his prophecy of the impending robotic actor revolution, when mechanical characters will loop through scripts for our entertainment. That October afternoon, his proclamation was just one of many that showcased how science fiction was becoming fact. I was tuning into Delia virtually in the underbelly of Moffitt Library, known to some as the b.makerspace. A watch party had been organized for Autodesk’s Design Now Conference. Over the course of three hours, we watched the Powerpoint wallpaper at the front of the room introduce one engineering prophecy after another. Each executive claimed to solve problems I didn’t know we had, telling us that we had much to anticipate: drones becoming our 21st century pigeons, high school Elon Musks in the making, legacy industries being revolutionized by artifi-

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cial intelligence (AI). There was chatter of the usual suspects, the frequent headliners at Soda Hall: AI, virtual reality, coding as the new literacy. Even through telepresence, I could feel the zeitgeist of Silicon Valley, thick and prevailing in their rhetoric. Unbridled optimism, dreams of inverting tradition, and the unwavering march of progress—it was even in their most minimal sentences: “The future is now.” As the conference progressed, that sentence became a mantra. This echo chamber was nothing new to me. Having grown up in the shadow of the Silicon Valley, I was practically incubated in it. As the daughter of engineers, I had heard of algorithms before algebra and had been ghostwriting and copyediting corporate emails since the fifth grade. Perhaps it was inevitable, given all that roleplay, that at some point I would try to become one of those adults I was always pretending to be. That was how I found myself heeding the siren’s call of tech in college, gravitating towards computer science courses, unwittingly plant-

ing myself in the eye of Silicon Valley’s hurricane of disruption, preparing to program its landfall. In the heartland of tech, optimism is always on an infinite crescendo, but I soon began to find it grating. Two years into college, I wondered if this was it. Days gone by with my gaze leashed to the screen. Coding until evening bled into morning. I would probably cradle my laptop more often than a newborn and preside over the same tug-of-war between caffeine and fatigue every morning. I wondered, would I eventually spread tech gospel like that CTO did during the Design Now conference, spewing a broken record of progress, always progress, from 2020 till death? I didn’t think I could, not when I was already so nonplussed with it all. With the AI’s I engineered that could complete elaborate games against each other in seconds. With my time spent as a Big Data intern, playing in a digital sandbox of national data, architecting a Panopticon in my lap for a fatter paycheck than a college freshman deserved.

If this would be how my thirties, forties, fifties, and early sixties passed, life might as well be a game of Hangman. The moment I grew into my limbs, my fate was to become just another tech mercenary, floating around companies until death. I had spelled it out by myself. Two thousand years ago, in his “Allegory of the Cave,” Plato had imagined a population, complacently shackled in a cave, so engrossed with a world of shadows that they forgot their true reality. I felt like one of those prisoners, lost in a digital cave of screens where pixels seemed like the true photons, and grade school lessons like the world not being flat were forgotten. Everywhere I looked, nature was being overwritten. Clouds were data, the Amazon was a store, and my life was a feed. And there I was, revving up to abet the cultural amnesia as I apprenticed to engineer the whole puppet show. How stupid, I thought, to think so melodramatically and to choke on the silver spoon that had fed me for so long. My mental griping was also exacerbated by the decline of my eye health, which would precipitously drop whenever my coding commitments ramped up. What had once been twenty-twenty vision soon became a poor left blink. I accepted that as an occupational hazard, but the debilitation did not stop there. Within a year, that blink had devolved into bilateral eyelid spasms. That was when it became something I could no longer dismiss, because whatever was begrudging my eyes was reshaping my world into a blizzard of triggers. Driving soon became too straining to continue. Conversations went poorly, as the people I chatted with became decapitated blurs. I even gave up the stage I had danced on for over ten years. A curtain kept falling over my visual field, and as disturbing as it was, I still let the momentum of my semesters outpace medical attention. Because oddly enough, my lower gaze was spared of any trouble. Thus, I would hold my screens there and simply carry on with my busybodying: coding, designing, and writing. This made it so that at times, I could even be blasé about my predicament; I would console kin and bewilder them, as I said, crutching one eye, “It’s okay. I can still code.” Perhaps I had been trying to convince myself that even if I had to abandon the physical world, a life lived and examined virtually could be bearable. It was our status quo anyways.

Then more than ever, I felt like Plato’s prisoner, finally coming out of the cave, too used to the shadows to want to bathe in the light. “It would hurt his eyes, and he would escape by turning away to the things which he was able to look at, and these he would believe to be clearer than what was shown to him.” In retrospect, for me it was just so. The toes that I had meant to shallowly dip into technology had found quicksand, and I did not want to look away, because when I did, I could not see. My bouts of eye episodes increased in tandem with my fruitless doctor’s appointments. As the first half of my college career came to a close, I was not cured, but I let myself be whisked away anyways to South America, to fulfill the summer obligations I had promised in the winter. When I was not demoing Phantom drones to locals or teaching every kid mature enough for algebra the fundamentals of code and design, I ached with confusion, not only over my eyesight but also over my purpose. Belatedly, I realized that even in an agrarian province continents removed from the Silicon Valley, I had become the tech evangelist I had always begrudged, just parroting a more subtle, diluted version of “the future is now.” When I returned for the fall semester, I realized that I could not handle another lap of college. By that time, I had almost completed my reverse metamorphosis from a social butterfly into a cocoon. My calendar was dominated by therapy and doctor’s appointments rather than classes. The initial reluctance I had to pause my education rapidly eroded, and when I finally emptied the rest of the year of class commitments, I realized that I now had no problems left to solve but my own. Time, which used to seem so compressed in the frenzied hullabaloo of midterms and papers, stopped looking so finite. It stretched into a blank expanse, an eternal weekend that made me shudder rather than celebrate. I wanted that blanket of fake productivity back, so I wouldn’t have to contemplate the only questions I had no answers for. Would I be content if the only words I left on this planet were fragments of code? Would I ever see normally again? Though my family thought that what I needed most was refuge for awhile from Berkeley, I found myself boomeranging back to campus again and again. Posing as a student, I passed the majority of my

hours in the Northside makerspaces. In those creative hubbubs, I would tinker as a form of therapy, passively practicing my eyes on the projects I worked on. I would forget the clock as I took my imagination from two dimensions into three. Every day, I would put my stake in a different corner of that space. Some days I soldered wires into highways of current, other days I bent wood with laser cuts. Some days I watched my 3D prints pool from under a pen of molten plastic, other days I craned over a sewing machine. It was therapeutic for me to sit in that atrium-workspace, inhaling its perfume of scorched wood and listening to the whirring staccato of its machines. Often, I would also take some moments to test my eyes, lifting them from my work to converse with my neighbors. We would share our pieces in progress, and I wondered what possessed me to feel more animatedly about the flower vase in my hands than the AI classifier I had on the backburner in my laptop. Perhaps it was because that was my homecoming to physicality. In the makerspace, I watched people go from consumers to producers, and that gave me positivity when I thought I was all spent of it. Piece by piece, project by project, I rejuvenated my shattered optimism for technology as I saw people co-create with machines. Seeing—that was the grandest part. Every small project rehabilitated my focus and my eyesight until my eye spasms began to dwindle. The more I produced objects for the real world, the clearer the real world became for me. This was where my story and Plato’s diverged. While I eventually found the strength to see the sun again, his prisoner could not. Through time and tinkering, I had healed, and in doing so, I realized that being able to see the present was just as precious as architecting the future. The future could take a backseat to the now.

WORDS BY VIOLET LEE GRAPHICS BY KAITLAN TSENG

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FINDING FAITH WORDS BY LEANDRA RAMLO PHOTO BY EMMA ALLUYN

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lthough Cal hosts numerous events for new students, I had yet to attend any by the end of my first week on campus. On Friday evening, though, an opportunity arose when I heard whispers of “Korean Barbeque” up and down the hallway of my dorm. So I decided to join some new acquaintances to grab some free food. We arrived at Wurster Hall and followed signs that brought us to a lecture room flooded with wide-eyed students like myself. I took a seat among my friends, hungry and curious about where this highly-anticipated barbeque was. After a few minutes, the lights dimmed, voices hushed, and a soft light illuminated a young man as he took center stage. He welcomed us and began talking about the excitement and anxieties of the new school year, which then slowly moved on to more abstract, philosophical ideas about well-being and happiness. I was still unsure about the point of this gathering until he said the word that made me put two and two together: “God.” I realized this was an event hosted by a religious organization, which I later learned was a Christian fellowship called Klesis. I gave some confused looks to my friends, but I stayed in my seat. The event continued with more talk, live Christian music from a rock band, a few Bible excerpts, and concluded with everyone shuffling outside to receive the barbeque. As my friends and I sat and chatted over our food, a member of Klesis named Amy approached us. We engaged in some small talk and shared some thoughts on the event, which then shifted to a discussion about whether we had grown up with religion. A few said yes, but most said no, including myself. Amy noted that she had grown up in a religious household, although a few of her friends in Klesis found their Christian faith upon coming to Berkeley. This took me by surprise -- becoming religious during college? The prospect of college inducing a religious awakening was something I had never considered. The widely understood narrative is that liberal, secular universities kill faith, not foster it. The epitome of a university experience evokes images of old, disheveled philosophy professors spreading Nietzsche’s gospel -- the famous assertion that “God is Dead.” The ubiquitous presence of drugs and alcohol are cited as additional deterrents from a dedication to faith. This narrative goes back for decades, prompting various figures and organizations to invest

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time and effort into combating desacralizing forces present on college campuses. Given this narrative that I’ve been fed, the fact that the first-ever event on campus I attended was a religious one was quite shocking to me. But since learning that it is indeed possible to find faith on a college campus, I’ve been conscious of Christianity as I walk around Cal -- Sproul tables advertising Christian-based fraternities, signs inviting you to ask a question about God for a cookie, groups that gather and sing songs on Fridays. This presence keeps me wondering: where does religion -- specifically Christianity -- fall in the UC Berkeley world? How common is it to find faith upon entering one’s college years? Or is it more common for college to kill faith like I’ve been told?

SOME FACTS First off, we can dispel the myth of the narrative that college kills religion. Multiple studies suggest that college doesn’t actually drive away faith as much as one would think. According to Philip Schwadel, a researcher interviewed in the Atlantic article “It Turns Out Colleges Aren’t Actually Atheist Factories,” college students may be more likely to be religious than their non-collegiate counterparts. A study by University of Texas at Austin titled “How Corrosive is College to Religious Faith and Practice?” also discovered that college does not actively deter students from a commitment to faith. Instead, the study found that about half of American teenagers who “disaffiliate from their religion do so for passive reasons; they simply lost interest, stopped going to church, or were altogether incapable of articulating a reason.” In another study entitled “The Spiritual Life of Undergraduate Students,” researchers at UCLA sought to find out how spirituality -- defined as a student’s search for “values, attitudes, and beliefs” and differently than religiosity -- changed over the course of undergraduate college years. The 2008 study found that, between freshman and junior year, spirituality increased, while attendance at religious services dramatically decreased. While college may foster spiritual endeavors, undergraduates often stop attending religious events due to their busy schedules or conflicting commitments. Higher edu-

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cation doesn’t kill faith, but faith may die out on its own due to the nature of university life. So if college campuses don’t kill religion, do they foster it at all? At a place like Cal, it may not seem so. UC Berkeley is a secular institution, famous for trailblazing counterculture movements with far-left liberal agendas. Liberalism and religiosity are not mutually exclusive, of course, but the two are not necessarily associated with one another. It’s easier for me to imagine religion thriving in a school in the conservative South than in a place like Berkeley. But in fact, Christianity at Cal is widespread and far-reaching. About 70 spiritual-based groups exist at Cal, according to UC Berkeley’s student organizations website. Around 50 of these are Christian-based fraternities, fellowships, and ministries. Religious groups may be demanding on one’s time and tricky to balance with academics, but for many students such groups may be the source of a social life and a close-knit community. I spoke with Channchi Wycliffe, a co-founder of the Berkeley Seventh-Day Adventist Student Center, an evangelical group here at Cal. She believes that the academic and social challenges of college, especially at UC Berkeley, may foster religiosity as well. Wycliffe graduated from Cal in 2011, and she continues to mentor students by leading help groups and bible studies through her ministry, which she believes are necessary on our rigorous, exhausting campus. “The problem with Berkeley is that there are so many things to get into,” says Wycliffe. “People are going to end up being so overwhelmed, so stressed out, and constantly comparing themselves to their classmates, feeling bad about where they are because they’re no longer the top of their class.” Wycliffe is committed to strengthening her ministry’s sense of community and giving students better tools regarding how to apply the Bible to their lives. “A lot of the things we teach are not just be successful in school, but to enjoy life, enjoy learning and the Berkeley experience, which is very much counterculture here,” she says. “I started applying a lot of the principles in the Bible on how to be successful [when I was] in school, and my last two years were a lot easier than my first two.”

FINDING GOD IN COLLEGE Wycliffe herself found God about halfway through her undergraduate experience. She grew up in a Chinese Buddhist family in Cambodia, but described herself as an agnostic who didn’t think much about religion. When she arrived at Cal, she even described developing a mild distaste for Christianity. She had also attended one of those Christian events “because they just sort of suck you in!” she exclaims with a laugh. But ultimately, she didn’t feel it was for her. Plus, in the midst of a messy breakup, her thenboyfriend blamed her for his separation from God and for his growing distance from the church. “I didn’t want anything to do with [Christianity] because the relationship caused me so much pain.” Heartbreak led to a lot of partying, but “the things I was doing made me feel so disgusted about myself,” she says. Then, in the second semester of her sophomore year, she began developing a close relationship with a fellow Cal student who attended bible studies on Friday nights. He invited her to join him. Despite having many negative preconceptions about Christianity, she joined in on the Bible studies and slowly, but surely, became more open. Not long afterward, Wycliffe dedicated herself to Christianity. That was eight years ago, and Wycliffe says she still learns more about herself and God every day. When I ask her why it was Christianity that spoke to her, she says, “I liked the fact that there are answers to my questions that make sense.” It was a long process of learning to trust the Bible, she admits, but not only did her research show her how the Bible aligns “with history, archaeology, and things that I know for certain are factual,” but she discovered and continues to discover how its teachings fit like a perfect puzzle into her life. Kaylin Lee, a student now in her senior year at UC Berkeley, is another example of someone who found faith while at Cal. She echoes Wycliffe’s sentiment that the Bible gave her answers to those big questions. “Coming into college, I wanted to figure it out -- what’s the meaning of life, what’s the purpose of life?” she says. “And this was not from a religious perspective at all.” During her freshman year, she joined numerous clubs, took an array of classes, and tried

out a variety of social scenes. “I tried finding answers, but campus was not providing them.” In her first semester, though, she began joining her friend at Friday night Bible studies and Sunday services at Gracepoint, the church associated with Klesis. Lee was apprehensive at first -even though her mother grew up Catholic and her father is Buddhist, religion was not much of a presence in her home as a child. And, due to the portrayals of religion she’d seen in various forms of media, the idea of Christianity carried many negative connotations with it. “You have pictures of Westboro Baptist Church, people with picket signs. That’s what I was fed, and that was my view of what Christianity was,” she says. “I remember walking through Sproul and every time I saw a flyer that was Christian, I thought, ‘Oh I can’t touch that or else they’ll convert me.’” Lee continued attending Klesis events, however. She met people who were leading lives very different from her own, but among those people she also began finding answers to some of the questions that were bothering her. Then, in her second semester, she attended a Klesis retreat with workshops that taught her more about God and the Bible. During one of these workshops, a pastor led an exercise in which he asked students to imagine having all of their thoughts projected for all of the world to see. Kaylin had considered herself a generally good person, but this exercise forced her to rethink. Having flashes of all of the people whom she had hurt in her life, she was able to see herself from an entirely new, and sobering, perspective. “But then I saw a perfectly holy God who said, ‘I don’t condemn you for this. I still love you despite all of these things that you’ve done in your past.’” It was in this realization of God’s love for her that cemented her decision. Prior to finding God, Lee depended on relationships and earning top grades as her source of fulfillment. Her identity depended on ever-changing things like hobbies, academics, and other people. But those things never seemed to be enough; she says she often felt empty. Now, she’s found a sense of peace with her identity through God. “A lot of my non-Christian friends are very tired. Cal is so hard, life is so hard. But I have God whom I can pray to, who I can firmly trust that my future is in his hands,” says Lee. “It’s God

that makes me who I am.” Wycliffe echoed these sentiments: “A lot of the ideas that are talked about are very different from what I grew up with. The idea of there being a God that loves me, that gives me my identity as his daughter, and just the idea of a savior, is comforting to me. That was not what I was raised with. I was raised with ‘you are on your own in this world.’” Wycliffe, now, though, has a consistent God to guide her and love her. “I don’t have to worry about my future because God has a plan for me.” Scientific studies have affirmed such experiences. One study at the University of Toronto found that a higher belief in God results in lower activity in areas of the brain related to stress. Finding religion after not being religious for all of your life demonstrates a remarkable ability to drastically change your perspective. Researchers at University of Texas at concluded that “Christian revivals during college rarely connect those that entirely lack a religious sense.” In most cases, evangelistic efforts “tend to connect best with the dormant faith and inactive-but-intact belief systems of previously religious youth.” Thus, stories like Wycliffe’s and Lee’s are uncommon.

SOME REFLECTION Now, as a sophomore, I haven’t gone so far as to adopt any religion, but having been violently catapulted into the tumultuous whirlwind of freshman year, I understand how Christianity could offer value to many students on college campuses. The experience of leaving home can wreak havoc within ourselves. Forced to deal with minor bouts of identity crises and questioning of purpose that had awoken after laying dormant in the comfort of a familiar home setting, I often felt (and still feel) utterly lost, which is difficult when college demands you to charge full speed ahead. College is hailed as a place of academic and social exploration, where we’re supposed to come closer to finding ourselves and our purpose, but mounting pressure to do so can be a major source of frustration when it feels like we haven’t. The turmoil that we are sent into upon coming to college, the questioning of the self and the questioning of all that we know, creates the perfect breeding ground for profound change and intellectual uprooting. And as uncomfortable as

it might be, the spirit of college, after all, is to change one’s perspective. I reached out to Amy Fann, the student I met during the Klesis event of my first week at Cal. “I think often times people do look down on you or they just don’t want to associate or talk about this because they have a pretty false idea of what Christianity is,” says Amy, “but I really encourage people, especially people who are liberal and usually openminded to challenge Christians, to think about the Bible’s proclaims...and ask the hard questions.” On a recent Friday night, I took Amy’s advice. I attended a bible study led by Wycliffe and her husband, Sean (the guy who took her to her first bible study). A group of 15 people, composed of Cal students and local Berkeley residents, lounged in a circle of bean bags and couches. Over a bowl of homemade Thai curry and snacks of pomegranates and oranges, we discussed a Bible verse entitled “Do Not Worry” from Matthew chapter 6. We listened to each other’s thoughts, interpretations, and asked each other how we could incorporate this wisdom into our own lives. It was my first time at a Bible study. The room felt homey. The questions we asked felt important and relevant. At times, conversation verged on feeling like a council, a safe space. While I still felt like an outsider in the space as a nonChristian person, I somehow also felt a closeness to Christianity and Christians for the first time. I had to ask myself why I felt good in this place. I understood it offered me safety and answers to questions that have left me confused and alone. The idea of relinquishing the burden of making tough decisions and instead placing trust in a supreme being is relieving. In a way, turning to God is quite similar to how many of us have turned to our parents in the years before college. In attempting to understand unfamiliar ideas and communities on campus, I’ve become more aware of how differently we each approach our daily choices. And in such exploration, I’ve asked myself: Am I religious, spiritual, a non-believer? I don’t know. All I know is my attempt to understand the meaning of religion and why it speaks to so many of my peers on campus has left me feeling both more enlightened and more confused.

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