The Women Left Behind
MU SOCHUACambodia has been described as the “land of the widows.” Decades of war and political oppression have left many women with no choice but to be head of the household, as their husbands have either been killed or put behind bars.
I am one of the lucky ones. My husband died of natural causes. But the pain of being a widow becomes much worse now that I am living in exile and unable to visit the fnal resting place of my husband.
Being in exile is like when your loved ones are taken away from you in the most unjust way. It is not a choice; it is forced upon you. Much like what many Cambodian widows have gone through.
I remember getting a call on that fateful day. It was almost nighttime. The caller warned me that I would be arrested. Our party, the Cambodia National Rescue Party (CNRP), had been dissolved just a month before, and our leader Kem
Sokha had already been taken from his home by around 200 police ofcers. I feared for my life. I knew that I was no longer safe, so I packed my suitcase and fed.
Six years have passed since that day, but I still feel the fear and the pain. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to my daughters, my loved ones. I didn’t know where to go. Cambodia is my home and feeing it was never part of my agenda. My family didn’t know where to fnd me because I was moving fast. I knew the regime had and has its eyes everywhere. But the uncertainty of not knowing where I would wake up the next day, whose room, whose bed I’d be sleeping in brought me
immense discomfort—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Until now, even after three attempts, I am unable to return to Cambodia. Cambodian authorities have blacklisted me. When I tried to come back home in 2019, I could not even make it through Thai immigration, which had me detained and then deported.
But one of the painful things about being in exile is that I can no longer visit my late husband. I had brought his ashes to Cambodia in 2016 and I was able to honor his wish to have them scattered in the river where our family house is. He had taught our children the values of respect, patience, and compassion. He
was the center of our family, and he brought all of us together. He supported me in everything. When I am by the water, I miss our home. I miss the family. I miss being on the campaign trail with him. I miss the rivers, the mountains, and the rice trails. Like a lot of Cambodian women, I long for my loved ones.
During the Khmer Rouge period, women were subjected to forced labor, sexual violence, and other forms of abuse. Women at that time accounted for 60 percent of the Cambodian population, and onethird of them were widows. These women were forced to become the principal breadwinners of their families. Today, 44 years later, our women are going through the same experience.
Just last year, more than 100 activists and politicians from the opposition party, many of them males, were charged with alleged treason or incitement against Cambodia’s ruling party. Their mass arrest left their wives as household heads. These women are responsible for providing for the family’s basic needs and ensuring that their children are healthy, well-fed, and safe. They also supervise their children’s education and social development. They take care of the house—from cleaning to grocery shopping and cooking. And since the fathers are gone, it is also their job to provide emotional support and comfort to their children in these times of crises.
Despite all these, these women are still tirelessly protesting on the streets to demand their husbands’ release. There is a group called “Friday Women of Cambodia” that
is made up of wives and mothers who brave the possibility of arrest and violent attacks as they picket courts and embassies. They know that every time they do this they’re putting their lives on the line.
But as the Cambodian election nears, it seems that this movement has even moved beyond the women fghting for themselves and their husbands; they have moved toward justice for all. Their voice is more political, and they are now protesting for free and fair elections and the release of all prisoners of conscience. Recently, during the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) summit in Cambodia, the group held its Women’s March, its members holding signs that had slogans pushing for democracy and human rights in the region. Friday Women is the picture of the full strength of women—politically, economically, and morally. As the Friday Women movement continues to grow, there is hope that it will inspire more women to take action and become leaders in their own sphere.
Looking back, I’ve realized that it was the same conviction and dedication these women now have that pushed me to enter politics. Cambodia at the time was plagued with poverty and riddled with landmines. Phnom Penh had become a destination for sexual predators who exploited vulnerable young women and girls. I knew things had to change. I needed to fght for the rights that had been stripped away from the country’s women. And now, as the deputy president of CNRP, I travel with a suitcase around the world to tell the story of Cambodia and look for
ways on how to bring our country back to the path of democracy. I have been advocating for human rights, freedom, and the rule of law, but now I know that I am not alone in this fght. I have my sisters in Cambodia who are going through the same battle and becoming a voice of defance.
I look forward to the day that I can work with these women on the streets of Cambodia. As I sit here in my place of exile, my thoughts are consumed with the longing to return home. It has been too long since I last immersed myself in the familiar sights and sounds of my homeland. But Cambodia can be safe only if the opposition parties will be allowed to operate freely without the fear of being dissolved again or being prosecuted. If the voters – the people – are safe to make statements and express their opinions. If there is an independent and free media, and an independent National Election Commission. And if Hun Sen will allow the opposition members in exile to be able to come home and drop all charges against them.
Until then, I will continue to advocate for democracy, freedom, and the rule of law however I can and from wherever I am. I owe this to all the widows and all women left behind in Cambodia. I owe it to my people.
Mu Sochua is the deputy president of Cambodia National Rescue Party and former chairperson of the CALD