Three Conscious Choices to Shift Our Me-Centered Universe Into A We-Centered Worl

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Three Conscious Choices

To Shift Our Me-Centered Universe Into A We-Centered World By Christina Kunkle, CTA Certified Life and Wellness Coach, R.N.


t’s been hard to wrap our heads and hearts around the back-to-back adversities that our nation is grappling with. When gravity strikes, a mindset of fear can take over so quickly, can’t it? Distressing news, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, fires and shootings have left even the strongest among us feeling isolated, disheartened and helpless. In the face of suffering, we can run away, pick a fight, freeze in our tracks or blindly follow the crowd down the rabbit hole of fear. Our fight or flight nervous system is built for an occasional emergency, providing a surge of fast-acting stress hormones — like adrenalin and cortisol — when life-saving actions are required. Afterward, our rest and digest nervous system is designed to respond with a much-needed release of relaxation hormones — like oxytocin and serotonin — to restore our frazzled mind, body and spirit back into calm balance. But unrelenting assaults on our energy and coping skills can bring us to a breaking point. However, we can rise above the darkness to see the 14

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antidote to reactivity and panic. We can tap into creativity and stir up some powerful soul medicine by asking ourselves one simple question that sparks inspired action: Who do we want to be in this situation?” Will we: n Add light or throw shade? n Show love or feed fear? n Invest in possibility or fuel negativity? n Ignite a spirit of community or retreat in isolation? n Be me-centered or we-centered? n Invest in solutions or focus on problems? As soon as we ask that question, when we dig deep enough for the answer, the light of our combined awareness, love and leadership flips on to remind us that negativity can’t steal our joy, cause uneasiness or feed our fear unless we let it. In every circumstance, our actions reflect what we most value. There will always be a war between love and fear, and an endless feud between the light and the darkness. It’s an all-hearts-on-deck moment in history, and it’s


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critical that we deliberately bring the best of ourselves to every choice we make. Here are three conscious choices we can make to help shift our me-centered universe into a we-centered world:


Choose Connection Over Isolation

I believe that as women, the most dangerous place to be is disconnected from our inner wisdom. In the face of overwhelming circumstances, fear triggers a cascade of default reactions prompting us to hide, go numb, pretend nothing is wrong or assume a stiff upper lip and suffer in silence. We must first claim the space to connect with and love ourselves. Let’s say goodbye to flying solo, comparing to or competing with others and the drama of what divides. By nature, women love to build community. Our feminine character strengths like sensitivity, generosity, care and intuition were used more when our primary role was to nurture homes and families. Now, in addition, we are also entrepreneurs, doctors, teachers, lawyers, politicians, you name it.

To thrive in these roles, we are tempted to drive ourselves hard through “manpower,” which is the energy of competition. Here, all your power comes just from you. With our society fostering a belief in scarcity – that there’s not enough to go around – our knee-jerk reaction is to grab and grasp, using our elbows to protect what’s ours if necessary. This is exceptionally draining, as it doesn’t allow us to stay connected to the guidance of our inner wisdom and intuition, where power moves through you, helping to easily accomplish your goals in warm collaboration with others.


Choose Inspiration Over Hopelessness

Hopelessness breeds loneliness, contempt and depression. Intentionally choosing the core values we want to operate from and make decisions by keeps us empowered. Having a meaningful morning practice of prayer, reading, singing, yoga, journaling and gratitude reminds us that we are fully supported by a power greater than ourselves, anchoring us to divine energy, which never runs dry.

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Christina Kunkle, R.N. and CTA certified life and wellness coach, is founder of “Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching LLC” and creator of the “Synergy Success Circle.” She helps busy women prevent burnout by promoting bounce-back resilience to stay focused, positive and excited about the challenges of work and life. For more information, visit or call 540-746-5206.

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