Flatbush Buzz Magazine issue 1 2013

Page 1

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR MAGAZINE

Publisher & CEO:

Yossi Friedman

Editor-in-Chief:

Rochel Samuels

Art Director: Photography:

Efraim. Schnall

Shlomo Meyer , Istock, Shutter Stock, Big Stock

Rabbinic Advisor:

R. Lazer Zuckerman

Advertising Executive

Mindy Weiss

Mailing: NY Buzz Magazine P.O. Box# 190811, Brooklyn, NY 11219

A good read requires some quality writers, and a quality writer is hard to come by. Looking under crevices, we found some of the most unique wordweavers around. The collection of writers we’ve amassed is not nearly completed, though. There will be more to speak of in the weeks to come. Every good magazine needs the right combination of humor, inspiration, expertise, and the latest. Providing you with just the right mixture of that and then spicing it up with some extras on a bi-weekly basis is our goal here at The Buzz. Make this your shabbos table companion, or curl up with a coffee and delve into this from your sofa. Add some of it’s lessons to your shiur, or share the laughs with a friend. Skimming through these practical ads are a best bet when you look for only the most competent in service. This multifaceted page-turner is there for your discretion.

Rochel Samuels

Let’s get buzzing.

To Advertise Call: (718) 513-9885 (718) 435-3918

Email: nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com

2013 Flatbush Buzz.  All rights reserved.  Contents may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the Buzz Magazine.  All readers are invited to send their opinions by letter to the editor.  The advertiser agrees to hold harmless the publisher for publication of submitted copy.  Buzz Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors.  We reserve the right to refuse advertising or editorial copy that we feel does not fit our policy.  Advertising claims or kashrus of any product or establishment are not the responsibility of the Buzz Magazine.  The opinions of each writer do not reflect those of the publisher.  The Buzz Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions.

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PARSHA IN PRACTICAL BAMIDBAR- Shlach

‘EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?’ By: Rabbi Heschel Greenberg Buffalo, New York

The Substitutes In this week’s parsha, the Torah speaks of how Hashem selected the Leviim as substitutes for the first-born. The Leviim were initially selected to be the priests because they were spared at the plagues of the first-born. Because Hashem spared them they became Hashem’s special “possessions” as it were. When the first-born participated in the creation of the “golden calf”, they were stripped of their priestly distinction. Hashem chose the Leviim as they were the only tribe whose members did not participate in that horrible crime of idolatry and were therefore the natural replacements for the first-born. In truth, they were not just replacements, but their selection in place of the first-born served as the atonement for the first-born. Hence the Torah uses the expression of pidyon-redemption to describe the substitution of the first born with the unblemished Leviim. The 273 Extras And behold, the number of Leviim were almost the same as the number of first-born Israelites except for 273 additional first-born. Now, if each Levi was to take the place of a first-born and serve as his “redemption,” how did the 273 additional first-born find their redemption when there was no Levi to take their place? The answer is provided in this week’s parsha. The additional 273 first-born were to give a five-shekel coin as their form of redemption. Every detail of the Torah is precise and in it there are no coincidences or 8

arbitrary facts. The fact that there were 273 “extra” first-born that had to be redeemed separately must have held some significance. Moreover, as some commentators have pointed out, the verse that describes the 273 first-born stands by itself: “And as for the redemption of the two hundred and seventy three of the first-born of the children of Israel, they are over and above the number of the Leviim.” It does not mention that they were to redeem themselves with the 5-shekel coin until the next verse. It seems therefore that the Torah wishes to tell us that the fact of 273 additional first-born sons requiring redemption is in and of itself an important piece of information. What is the significance of the number 273? One Moment One explanation of this matter based on the exposition given in the work entitled Arugat Habosem, is that the number 273 is the numerical value of the word ‘rega’, which means ‘moment’, or ‘instant’. And here comes the dual lesson: First, by stating that the 273 first-born Israelites required redemption, we learn that even an instant wasted or abused necessitates redemption. There is no truth to the assumption that seconds can be trifled with. Every second is precious and must be filled with meaning and purpose. Second, even one instant that is utilized properly can be sufficient to turn one’s life around. In Chassidic literature there

is an expression that is used repeatedly: “In one moment; in one instant.” This echoes the Talmudic statement that: “One could acquire their world in one instant.” Just one significant change of heart can turn a person’s life around and bring salvation to him or herself. Moreover, it takes just one movement— the Hebrew word for moment can also be translated as ‘movement’—to turn the whole world around and bring salvation and assistance to the entire world. When the Jewish nation was asked whether they wanted to receive the Torah, the people’s response consisted of just two words in Hebrew—“Na’aseh v’nishma.” (“We will do and we will listen.”) These few words that did not take more than a moment or two to utter saved the entire world. For as our Sages tell us, if Bnei Yisrael had not accepted the Torah, there would have been no purpose in the creation of the world. Indeed, the Talmud relates that Hashem created the world tentatively. If the Torah would have been rejected, then the world, G-d forbid, would have reverted to nothingness. Just those few moments made, literally, a world of difference. Similarly now, with just one moment’s movement in the right direction, one person can literally save the world and usher in the Messianic Age of redemption and peace. It could very well be that the entire world and all of the generations before us are waiting with bated breath for us to make a difference, in just one moment.

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COMING SOON THE FIVE TOWNS BUZZ MAGAZINE

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TRIX & TIPS

10 Household Trix ‘N Tips 1.

A bowl acts as a cheap amplifier for your iPhone.

2.

A magnetic strip helps keep track of bobby pins, tweezers, and other small metal items.

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Spread some ground cinnamon where you think the ants are coming in to the house. Basil repels flies and mosquitoes.

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To remove fresh grease spots from rugs and carpets, rub the spot with a heavy dose of dry baking soda and leave on overnight. In the morning, just vacuum it up. The baking soda will soak up the grease while you sleep.

5.

To remove fresh grease spots from rugs and carpets, rub the spot with a heavy dose of dry baking soda and leave on overnight. In the morning, just vacuum it up. The baking soda will soak up the grease while you sleep.

6.

Chewing gum stuck in hair - The easiest way to remove that sticky mess is by rubbing it with 10

peanut butter, then washing out your hair.

7.

Don’t have glass cleaner handy? No Problem! Make it yourself. It’s healthier anyway. 1/4 cup alcohol, 1/4 cup white vinegar,1 tablespoon corn starch, 2 cups warm water. Mix it together in a spray bottle.

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De-tarnish ALL your silver ALL at once...line your sink with aluminum foil, add 1/2 c table salt, 1/2 c. baking soda, fill with hot water, then dump in all your silver! Let sit for about 30 min. The tarnish all transfers to the foil!

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kill that mold: Mix 1 teaspoon of tea tree oil per 1 cup of water. Spray this mixture onto the moldy surface and allow to dry, but do not rinse! This will kill the mold spores without creating harsh chemical fumes that other cleaners, such as bleach, would.

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Premium Bourbon-Madagascar Vanilla Beans. Did you know? With 20 beans and 1 liter of bottom shelf vodka, you can have your own liter of vanilla extract for about $25. It would cost about three times as much money to buy that much vanilla extract in the grocery store, and the stuff they sell isn’t half as good! Just add the 20 beans to the bottle of vodka, wait 2-3 weeks, and voila! Vanilla extract.

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RECIPES

Healthy & Chewy, Wealthy & Jew-y Carob chip cookies - you won’t know the difference from its famous chocolate chip cousin! 1 1/2 Cups Oil 5 Cups Honey 4 Eggs 4 Tbsp Vanilla 1/3 Cup Almond Milk 3 Cups Whole Spelt Flour 1/3 Tsp Salt 2 Tsp Baking Powder 5 Cups Uncooked Oats 2 Cups Carob Chips

Combine all first five ingredients sharing the liquid consistency in common. Next, powder it up with your fibrous spelt flour, the trickle of salt, and baking powder. Fold in the oldfashioned oats and finally, the rich chocolate-goneright addition of carob chips. You can bake this winner in a pan for a chewy brownie effect, split ‘em into balls for a 32 cookie result, or fill up a cupcake mold with this versatile batter. These scrumptious bites make for great tasting guiltfree snacks or desert.

Preheat your oven at, yup, you guessed it: 350º F.

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RECIPES

Cheddar Chomper Cookies Ever made cheddar cheese cookies before? No? Ah, that’s what we thought. Well not anymore. This probably won’t be your last time making these taste tricksters either. If you haven’t got any of these: 1 cup butter 8 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, grated 2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp salt 3/4 tsp cayenne pepper 1 cup pecans, chopped Go to the store, or your neighbor, or anyone, and get whatever’s missing from this list. Quick! Totally worth your while…

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When you’ve got all the right things in tow, Cream your butter and cheese in the food processor. Make sure you haven’t used the machine that you usually make meatballs with. Oops. If it’s from the blue side of your kitchen like it should be, you can now add the flour, salt, and cayenne pepper to the mixture. Let out a sigh of relief. Good. Now toss in the pecans. After that, you are ready to roll it all into balls and flatten them with a fork. Get that into the (Milchig!) oven on an ungreased cookie sheet at 325 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes, and sniff. Should I tell you to eat them now or do you know that part already…?

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RECIPES

Buttery Pastry Dough Just these simple ingredients: 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/2 tsp salt 1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) cold unsalted butter, cut into bits 6 to 7 tbsp ice water How? A blender will work, and so will your fingertips. Begin by blending in the butter, until it resembles coarse meal. You don’t need gloves to add the ice water, but you do need to add it one tablespoon at a time, and toss it around with a fork. Do this until you’ve got a doughy formation. Next, smear the dough using a flat

surface into 3 or 4 motions with the heel of your hand which will develop the gluten in the flour and make the dough more of a breeze to work with. Now you can form the dough into a ball and then flatten it out and make it small and humble and try to think about Har Sinai, and make some kind of doughy connection. Finally, wrap it in plastic wrap and chill it out for a good hour. This can be made up to a week ahead in its chilled condition!

Irresistible Cheese Filler For Pastries This will be ready in just 15 minutes and makes you 2 full cups to fit into any pastry from salty mid-meal bread, to sweet pastry dough for desert. What you’ll need: 1/4 cup raisins 1 tbsp brandy 1 1/2 cups cream cheese 1/3 cup white sugar 1 tbsp all-purpose flour 1 tbsp sour cream 1 tsp vanilla extract

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1 tbsp butter, melted 1 egg yolk, beaten How? Sprinkle your raisins with brandy and set them aside, for later. Don’t get too impatient, you’ll include that soon. For now, grab a bowl and get those fists pumping. For those of you who don’t enjoy sloppy messes, just get a spoon. First, combine the creamcheese and sugar to a creamy lather. Next, beat in that flour, sour cream, vanilla, butter, and egg yolk. Fold in those raisins in

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IN MY HIMBLE OPINION

My Shidduch Saga:

A girl’s perspective on the scene and her future. By: Miriam Herst

I

’ve been dreaming about my wedding for as far back as I can remember. Wondering what it will be like to be seated in a big white chair surrounded by my friends and family with my almost husband walking towards me ready to cover my face with the veil. I’ll whisper words of psalms under my breath on an empty stomach and at first I think I’ll feel weak and tired after all the planning, but then I change my mind because I can’t imagine feeling either of those when my other half is walking towards me. “My other half”. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Sometimes I think I might see him on the train, just a black yarmulke on a nameless head running up the steps ahead of me. Or in shul where it’s a sea of hats and white shirts and all of them are swaying together in prayer. Sometimes I feel content patiently waiting for him and sometimes I want to scratch out a shidduch resume as fast as my hand will let me and find him tomorrow. “Will you shidduch date?” my friends ask me. And I’m content answering that I don’t see any other way. I find shadchanim daunting and the idea of putting my entire past and future goals onto a piece of paper with the name of my seminary isn’t always appealing. The idea of another hotel lobby with limited eye contact and sometimes stuttered responses doesn’t scream romantic to me. But I’ve learned that making sure he and you have likeminded goals and standards before 20

you even meet sometimes saves a lot of heartbreak. I have friends at every stage of the game. Single, dating, married and pregnant. They all give me advice, whether they’re qualified or not and I listen, I smile, I nod and I wait for him. I learn, I write, I go to school and spend time with my friends and family. I bake the perfect challahs Friday afternoons and take in Shabbos over a small flame with a blessing on my tongue later that day. I daven and let the words of prayer pass through my lips and I hold my younger brother’s hand as we walk to shul. I get dressed carefully every morning and make clear whispered brachos over every meal. I live and I grow and I do it all purposefully with Hashemly intentions in mind. I do all of this and try to build myself so that I am ready when I meet him. But sometimes I wonder if I’m going about this in the wrong way. The doubts come with the stories my friends bring home from first dates gone terribly wrong. They come home with sore feet and wide eyes ready to pick apart every detail from the texture of his yarmulke to the way he held open the door. Shidduch or no shidduch, they’ve started to get attached. “He’s from Baltimore and that’s not too far for his parents to travel for the wedding.” I remind her that it’s only been one date and she hasn’t heard back from the shadchan yet, but she’s busy budgeting for a family of seven and a husband that learns in kollel. When she gets the call that he isn’t

interested in a second date I hug her and I promise you, heartbreak hasn’t been avoided. “Why?” she asks. And I don’t have an answer. Maybe he’s always pictured someone more frum, more sophisticated, and more learned, or maybe he just doesn’t appreciate her sense of humor. Maybe he’ll change his mind and next Sunday night he will bring another date, or maybe he has a friend to suggest and that’ll be the one. “All in the right time,” we murmur to each other over cups of tea and swallowed tears. Friends get engaged and though we smile and shriek in excitement, the jealousy finds its way in. We don bridesmaid dresses instead of white gowns and we wait, sometimes not so patiently. We talk sheitels and flowers and we browse photos of engagement rings online without a specific man in mind. We are so wrapped up in marriage being everything and I’m convinced we forget that even after the veil is folded away and the band clears away the music, life goes on. I think that we don’t remember that each of us are an entire world alone and it takes recognizing that to be ready to meet your other half. I wait patiently with words of prayer on my lips and I thank Hashem for blessing me like He does. I have faith in Him and that encourages me to keep my eyes open. When the time is right, I’ll meet my other half. And until then, I’ll keep building my own world.

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VORT

A Jew’s Uniqueness:

From a bochur’s notebook BY: Srulli S.

I

t is only natural that we will face problems in our relationships with fellow Jews. This can only happen in the absence of reality, when perception becomes foggy. But, in applying the correct perspective, we can alter the way we see the world around us, thereby cohesively joining life to be in harmony with reality. With the correct perspective for our brothers and sisters, treating them properly can become natural and graceful. So where can we find the correct perspective for our relationships? Torah, Torah controls reality. By living in harmony with Torah, we live in harmony with nature. Torah teaches us social skills with which we can develop balanced, deeply connected, and satisfying relationships. A Jew has a part of Hashem in him. He is G-dly. (“Chelek elokah mimaal” from Nefesh Hachaim by Chaim Viloshin. Found in Shaar aleph perek dalet, and Shulchan

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Orech Magen Avrohom Orach Chaim 224:6)

Every person has his or her own mission in this world.

Rather than approaching our relationships with solely superficial techniques, which can eventually create disharmony and unhappiness, we can approach our relationships with a philosophy that can be applied to a variety of situations.

Klal Yisroel is like a puzzle, each piece exquisitely unique. Every jew has his or her own shape or nature which can only be developed properly- if treated accordingly.

When properly applied, this inside-out approach is leads to a natural further development of social skill. In developing these satisfying relationships, we can simply enjoy the mere presence of another. A Jew is G-dly. He therefore must be treated as such. A good example can be taken from an artist. Painting, specifically, is a delicate art. When an artist is painting, he seeps into a deep contemplative state, and everything else disappears. He is careful with every stroke, each shape is created with grace. Every act towards our fellow Jew must treated with the precision of the artist.

We cannot force the development of another person’s growth in ability. If we genuinely want to help another we must work to be an example. We cannot develop a nonexistent talent, but we can inspire the development of one already in existence. When you find yourself in a situation where you want affect positive change in the life of another, but you find yourself lacking in direction, simply take a moment to ground yourself in reality. Remember, this is a distinct personality, one who has his own needs and is to contribute something unique to the world. You have the ability (and the privilege) to help this person with their life mission. You are in the presence of something special, a G-dly soul.

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STORY

I Love You More Than Anyone!

M

y little fingers took a desperate tug at the folds of my mother’s work-worn dress. Her head and eyes were finally focused in my direction. Yet my head was down. In the small amount of time that I’d been a citizen of this world, life’s worth all seemed to boil down to one important point. My mother must know that little Rochel loves her. I shot my gaze to parallel hers, and let the words crawl from heart to tongue, in the hopes of it reaching not only receptive ears, but the heart. I said it. “Mommy, I love you more than anyone in the entire world.” But I only have one mommy. And I love no one just as much. Her face wore the expression of one whose humility surpasses her greed for praise, and I wasn’t sure if the compliment found its full mark. Her response? “I love you more than anyone in the entire world.” Verbatim. “But mommy,”—I wasn’t finished. “You love all your children just as much as you love me . . . so that can’t be possible. But I only have one mommy. And I love no one just as much,” I reasoned. This theory might have garnered some bewilderment and contemplation, but she had her response already cooked on the burner, ready to serve. “But the love I have for each child is unique . . . ,” she threw back. “That’s quality differentiation, but the quantity stays the same,” was the gist of my response, albeit said in a child’s dialect. “But I still love you more than anyone in the world,” she insisted, defying the logic I had so carefully worked up. This short but heartfelt dialogue 22

I held with my mother, she repeated to my father. It touched and humored them both. My father took the anecdote of this seemingly non-earth-shattering interaction and delivered it over to his mother, my grandmother. It left her inspired, as family bias might typically have it. Scheduled to go to a wedding of a friend’s granddaughter, my grandmother joined in the wedding spirit, and, in socializing with her tablemates, struck up conversation with one in particular. Mid-conversation, she relayed the “story,” if you will, of her granddaughter’s uninhibited love for her mother, and the words with which my emotion found its expression. The effect of this conversation was later explained to my grandmother through the telephone wires. “You see,” the woman emotionally exclaimed, “you told me this story. But you were not privy to the sad reality that my daughter was not on speaking terms with me, the woman she calls ‘Mommy,’ and hasn’t been for years now.” The soundless tears welling up in this mother’s eyes could almost be heard through the receiver. “In your mind, what you told me was simply a sweet story.” She then continued to explain how, in fact, this story had empowered her with the versatile tool of inspiration. Her heart made its way to the telephone and into her daughter’s ear. Luckily for this relationship of love lying dormant, the words found their receptive location. Her daughter’s heart had now become the place this now mutual love could call its home. My youthfulness halted in this moment of pleasant shock. This turn of events found its way

back to the source of its turnabout. And my youthfulness halted in this moment of pleasant shock. My jump rope tumbled from the grip my now-limp hands once had on it, and suddenly each word I said held more weight than I ever intended or imagined. And strength was not required to carry them. The weightiest words seem to be able to lift off the heaviest burdens from the suffocated heart. And I turned around in a swift swivel and pronounced: “I love you, Mommy”—and, knowingly, she winked. In Ethics of Our Fathers we are taught to be careful what we say, for you never know who is listening, and who might be affected by what you have said. In the above scenario, I might have assumed that I had it all figured out: I tell Mommy I love her, she reciprocates in kind, and we have a happy pair of people who feel loved. But, in hindsight, I had the privilege to experience and discover how through a few heartfelt words, someone across the world has now been reunited with love and affection—something I never could have conceived of. On the flip side, with a single word of contempt, some heart across the world—or perhaps in the next room, but not privy to your knowledge—has felt a firing squad of spite burning his pride, ember by ember left for your feet to crunch on, and the sound of it reaches your ears too late. The insult, even unintentionally biting, has left your mouth, and in turn, left its mark. Let’s hope we can all try leaving indelible good marks, using this powerful tool we humans were endowed with, that of the word. And

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Poem

My Stranger; My Sister By: Mushka Greenberg

O

ur eyes locked momentarily, hers black, darting back and forth, uneasy. She scanned me briefly from head to toe and then shifted her gaze as if it were all a mistake.

silent exchange was nothing but the encounter of two perfect strangers, so as turned the corner I couldn’t help but wonder what is was about her that gnawed the way it had?

I’d never seen her in my life and yet just the sight of her made me uncomfortable. Our distinctions were loudly conspicuous, it was hard to imagine having anything in common with her. She spoke Yiddish and I, English. Her hair was cropped short while mine fell past my shoulders. She was dressed in a conservative suit, I was wearing a sweatshirt.

Which is crazy, isn’t it, it dawned on me after...She was a Jewish girl, like me. She lights candles every Friday night; like me. We pray to the same G-d and celebrate the same holidays. We have differing traditions, maybe. Follow different trends, sure. But aren’t we sisters, nonetheless? Don’t we descend from the same nation? Haven’t we come from the same past? And aren’t we headed toward the same destiny?

We were absolute opposites, our

How did it get this way? When did

we let it get so far? Isn’t it crazy that I can look at her and pretend we have nothing in common when we only have the same blood pumping through our veins? Our eyes lock momentarily, hers black, darting back and forth, uneasy. She scans me briefly from head to toe and then shifts her gaze as if it were a all a mistake. I’ve never seen her in my life but I smile, like I know her. She smiles back, slowly, surprised that I’ve picked her out of the crowd at DSW. My stranger.

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?

PUZZLING PUZZLES 12

1

2 3

4

11

15 5

14

6 7 8

13

9 10

We’re all counting down the days until we can gobble down sweet dairy delicacies, celebrate musical simchas, take out the scissors, and mostly, commemorate that special day when we all stood there and proclaimed Na’aseh ViNishmah and accepted the best gift of all time. Each day the words we say in our bracha of sefiras haomer get just a little different. But do we actually understand the meaningful words we recite, and internalize the significance their meaning holds for each day? See if this puzzle can get your brain buzzing, as you formulate which sefira means what.

Across: 1) The Yom Tov we are counting down to:

10) (Backwards) Rachmanim, Bayishanim, and the 3rd in English:

2) We are counting down to the giving of the________.

Down:

3) An attribute determined by the eyes of the beholder:

11) When we count the Omer, every day signifies a combination of two_______.

4) (Backwards) In all genuineness is usually worded as: In all __________. 5) Comprehension; in a caring way: 6) A virtue said to be attained with muscles, but can be interpreted as an emotional virtue attained, similar to courage. 7) The success of a war won, also known as a: ________. 8) A cap adorned only by royalty: 9) Milchig Pie, A.K.A.: ___________

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12) Building an everlasting edifice, upon the __________ of Torah and Mitzvot. 13) An owl giving advice, is a ______ owl. 14) The _________ is 49 days. 15) A combined word made up of the male version of queen, and a synonym of boat. 16) (Upside down) We acquire ________ from learning.

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PUZZLING PUZZLES

?

Sudoku

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NEWS SHMOOZE NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD BY VARIOS NEWS SOURCES

‘Syria to Permit Palestians to Attack Israel’ Following alleged Israeli air strikes on Syria over the weekend, Syrian authorities were planning to allow Palestinian resistance factions to work across the Syrian border of the Golan

rockets were ready to strike targets inside Israel in the event of any new attack. It also said Syria had given the green light to Palestinian factions to carry out operations against Israel from across the Golan Heights. However, neither of those warnings

“I would not be surprised if the Assad regime begins the process of pulling out its forces from the Golan to Damascus,” Fawaz Gerges, director of the Middle East Centre at the London School of Economics...”The (rebel) Nusra Front and other groups are preparing themselves for the ultimate war against Israel...so this would create a strategic predicament for Israel.” A Western diplomat in the region said that if the Nusra Front gained territory on the Golan Heights it would inevitably suck Israel deeper into to conflict. “They will not accept that Islamist extremists gain ground,” he said. By JPOST.COM STAFF, ARIEL BEN SOLOMON, REUTERS

Doctors Denounce School ‘No Lice’ Policies

Heights to carry out attacks against Israel, Syrian daily Al Watan reported Monday. According to the report, the initiative was due to be discussed in upcoming meetings between Syria and Palestinian faction leaders, said Khalid Abd al-Majid, secretary- general of the Palestinian Popular Struggle Front. In light of recent developments, Syria had the “right and duty to respond using all available means,” Majid was reported as saying. Syria’s pro-government Al-Ikhbariya television gave an indication of what Assad might be considering, quoting unnamed sources who said that Syrian 26

have been spelled out publicly by Syrian officials, and any direct Syrian rocket fire on Israel would be likely to provoke an overwhelming Israeli response. Perhaps ironically, the step that Assad could take in the Golan that might most alarm Israel would be to retreat from it. Through four decades of official hostility with Israel, Assad and his father before him kept the Golan Heights frontier quiet. Were Assad to pull back troops, Israel is worried that the heights it captured from Syria in 1967 could become a springboard for attacks on Israelis by the jihadi rebels who are currently battling to topple Assad.

Schools shouldn’t force kids to stay home because they have head lice, a group of children’s doctors says. The new guidelines on head lice are the first from the American Academy of Pediatrics since 2002. They take aim at schools that do not allow children who have head lice or nits to remain in school. Nits are the empty egg casings that get stuck to kids’ hair at the roots. It makes no medical sense to keep kids at home if they have lice or nits, the doctors said. The risk of spreading lice in school is very small. The doctors also offered advice on treatment. Overthe-counter shampoos containing permethrin or pyrethrin are usually the first choice. But some lice can resist them. The guidelines explain other steps

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NEWS SHMOOZE parents can take. These include washing bedding in hot water, putting stuffed animals in a sealed bag for a couple of weeks and using a fine-tooth comb to remove nits. Reuters Health news service and ABC news reported on the new guidelines. The journal Pediatrics published them July 26. What Is the Doctor’s Reaction? Does your child scratch her head all the time? Are you worried she has head lice? Has it made you scratch your own scalp?

misdiagnose head lice because they mistake these common things for live lice eggs: • Nits (dead egg leftovers, which can be around even without live lice) • Dandruff • Hair casts (dandruff that surrounds the hair in a cylinder shape) • Hairspray droplets • Scabs • Dirt

Do not panic! Head lice:

There are many ways to treat head lice. Each has different pros and cons. It is important to first make the correct diagnosis to prevent unnecessary treatment. Treatments don’t always work. Here are some of the reasons: • The diagnosis was wrong. • Treatment directions were not followed properly. • Not enough treatment product was used. • The child was exposed again. • The lice were resistant to the drug.

• Are very common among young and school-aged children • Do not cause a disease • Are not a sign of bad hygiene • Can be tricky to treat The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has just come out with updated guidelines. They explain what lice are and how to treat them. Head lice are small (about the size of a sesame seed). They are white, tan or light gray in color. They lay very small eggs on hair close to the scalp. Lice feed by sucking very small amounts of blood from the scalp. Their spit then makes the scalp feel itchy. It is important to remember that head lice: • Move around by crawling • Cannot fly (or even hop) • Spread from person to person by head-to-head contact • May be spread by sharing personal items such as hair brushes and hats. This is rare because lice do not live for very long once they leave the scalp. It is hard to find live lice on a child’s head. Lice are small and crawl fast. It is easier to find their eggs that are very close to the scalp. People often 28

If a doctor believe the lice are resistant to an approved medicine, he or she can recommend another approved medicine or suggest other ways. Not all of these alternate methods have been fully studied. This AAP report also talks about how schools should handle head lice. Kids with nits should not be kept out of school. This hurts their learning. Many kids have nits, but these are not live lice. Screening students does not do much good either and also is costly. What Changes Can I Make Now? Do not let lice drive you crazy! There is a pretty good chance that if you have kids, they will get head lice at some time. This is not your fault. It is not their fault. It just happens to lots of children from all neighborhoods.

Head lice are not dangerous. They can be pretty annoying, though. If you are worried about lice, keep these points in mind: • Check your child’s head • If he or she is scratching the scalp a lot. • Before (and after) sleepovers and camps. • Do not panic if you suspect lice. You can always ask a trained person to look. • Check with the school nurse or your child’s doctor for advice. • Do not keep your child out of school when classmates have lice. The risk of spread in the classroom is low. • If your child has head lice: • Talk about treatment options with your doctor. • Follow treatment instructions exactly. • Avoid head-to-head contact between your child and others. • Check all household members for lice. • Clean hair care items, bedding and clothing recently used by the child. Cleaning everything is not necessary since most lice do not live very long once they leave the scalp. • Consider nit removal. • Seek help if you are struggling with treatment or if your child seems to be infested a lot. • Make sure you do not: • Keep your child out of school • Treat your child with • Flammable or toxic substances (such as gasoline or kerosene) • Animal treatments (even if people tell you they have used them before) • Treat again unless your doctor says to do it • Dry-brush or blow-dry your child’s hair. This can spread the lice to another person.

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NEWS SHMOOZE It is very important to remember that having lice is not a good reason for missing school. The AAP and most researchers agree that “no nit” policies in schools are pointless. These policies cause more harm than good. What Can I Expect Looking to the Future? Expect schools and health care professionals to work with parents to care for children with head lice. They should stay updated on new products and information so that they can give you good advice. Better ways to educate parents about lice will be developed. Treatments will be further studied to make sure they work and are safe. I also expect that schools will: • Stop routinely screening for lice • Train school nurses to help make the right diagnosis • Abandon “no nit” policies • Develop policies that work best for their local communities Content provided by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School Shots fired from world’s first 3D-printed handgun Cody Wilson, 25, successfully tested plastic handgun built by his Texas firm Defense Distributed using an $8,000 3D printer Do we really need a further developed gun industry? Cody Wilson, 25, thinks so. The world’s first gun made almost entirely by a 3D plastic printer has been successfully fired in Texas. The successful test of the plastic handgun, which was built by Defense Distributed using an $8,000 3D printer, came after a year of development. The company, which is run by 25-year-old Cody Wilson, now plans to publish the blueprints for the gun online. Wilson and a companion successfully MAGAZINE

fired the gun for the first time in Austin, Texas, at the weekend, Forbes reported. A video published online shows the gun held in place by a metal stand, with yellow string attached to its trigger. By yanking on the string, the pair were able to pull the trigger from 20ft away, successfully discharging a .380 caliber bullet. Defense Distributed’s device is controversial because of the way it is made. Fifteen of its 16 pieces were constructed in a second-hand Stratasys Dimension SST 3D printer, Forbes said. The final piece, the firing pin, is a common nail available from any hardware store. The printer used ABS plastic to create the gun parts, which were then slotted together by Wilson. After Forbes’s revelation, the BBC filmed a later test, in which Wilson successfully fired the gun by hand. The Undetectable Firearms Act of 1988 makes it illegal to manufacture in the US any firearm that is not detectable by walk-through metal detectors. To combat this, Wilson inserted a 6oz piece of steel into the body of his gun, making it legal. How long the law stays this way

remains to be seen, however. On Sunday, New York senator Charles Schumer called for legislation to make building a gun with a 3D printer illegal, and said he and the New York congressman Steve Israel would introduce the Undetectable Firearms Modernization Act, which would ban weapons like Wilson’s. Such an act would not be the first setback for Wilson, a law student at the University of Texas. An attempt to raise money for the 3D printed gun project through Indiegogo was thwarted when the crowd-funding website took his pitch offline, citing a breach of rules. After Wilson raised $20,000 through Bitcoin donations, he was hindered again when Stratys seized back his printer. Defense Distributed acquired a secondhand Stratys, however, and carried on experimenting. Wilson successfully made and tested parts of an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle – the weapon which has been used in a number of mass shootings in the US – before turning his attention to a plastic handgun. -Adam Gabbatt for The Guardian

N.Y. senator charged with stealing funds for failed campaign A New York state senator from Brooklyn was charged on Monday with stealing proceeds from sales of foreclosed properties to finance a failed run for district attorney, prosecutors said, making him the state’s latest politician

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NEWS SHMOOZE to face federal criminal charges. John Sampson, 47, a Democrat who has represented southeastern Brooklyn since 1997, was charged with nine counts including embezzlement, obstruction of justice and making false statements to federal investigators, according to an indictment unsealed Monday. Sampson, a practicing attorney for more than two decades, turned himself

help pay expenses for his unsuccessful 2005 bid to unseat incumbent Brooklyn district attorney Charles Hynes in the Democratic primary. Hynes narrowly edged Sampson that year to win a fifth term. Sampson later borrowed money from an unnamed associate in the real-estate industry to help repay some of the stolen money, prosecutors said. They said that when that associate was charged with a mortgage-fraud scheme in 2011, Sampson tried to keep him from cooperating with authorities, and later solicited an unnamed administrative employee in the Brooklyn federal prosecutor’s office to give him information about that case. If convicted, Sampson faces up to 10

years on each of the two embezzlement counts, 10 years on one count of obstruction of justice, 20 years on four separate obstruction-of-justice charges and up to five years on two counts of lying to federal agents. Prosecutors said that they have proposed a plea deal that would recommend Sampson receive a sentence of between 37 and 46 months in prison, in exchange for Sampson pleading guilty to one count of embezzlement and one count of obstruction of justice. Sampson’s next court appearance is scheduled for June 18. (Reporting by Jessica Dye; Editing by Paul Thomasch, Bernard Orr and David Gregorio for Reuters)

in and was arraigned in Brooklyn federal court Monday afternoon. He pleaded not guilty, and was released on a $250,000 bond. In April, U.S. attorney Preet Bharara in Manhattan charged state Senator Malcolm Smith with attempting to buy a spot on New York City’s mayoral ballot. Several days later, Assemblyman Eric Stevenson was charged in an alleged bribery scheme. Loretta Lynch, U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, said at a press conference that Sampson abused the public trust to further his own political ambitions “in one of the most extreme examples of political hubris we’ve yet seen.” According to the indictment, Sampson served as a court-appointed referee in foreclosure proceedings in Brooklyn state court beginning in the late 1990s. In that position, he helped oversee sales of foreclosed properties and controlled escrow accounts containing proceeds from those sales. Lynch alleged that Sampson embezzled $440,000 from escrow accounts in at least four properties in Brooklyn between 1998 and 2008. Prosecutors said he used the money to 30

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Enjoy our ated Newly Redecor ent & Sound Absorb Restaurant

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You don’t need to spend more than thirty seconds in one of Flatbush’s hottest hosiery and accessory stores to realize that Toetally You truly is completely and totally YOU. We carry an extensive array of hosiery from the companies you trust. Hair accessories line our shelves in every color of the rainbow. Pick from our full range of trendy but tasteful jewelry in a variety of colors to complement every outfit. There are hats, snoods, pre-ties, 32

and sheitel bands galore to go just right with your hair-covering. Our adorable selection of baby accessories include: blankets, hard and soft soled Robeez shoes, and unique pacifier clips. And if it’s those must have basics you need? Shop here for only the best in shells and pencil skirts. All this, conveniently located in the heart of Flatbush with ample metered parking in the area.

quickly become a favorite for local residents who appreciate both the convenience of the neighborhood store, as well as its extensive inventory, one that is very much in tune with the needs of its clientele. Our owners, Yankel and Shprintzy Stern, seem to have a knack for selecting merchandise that is stylish and contemporary, yet always appropriate and refined.

Located at 3003 Avenue K, just off of Nostrand Avenue, Toetally You has

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compromise on tznius.” explained Yankel Stern. Clearly the Sterns are on the right track. That’s why we provide specialties, like tulle-mesh skirts, available in both long and short lengths and colors, literally flying off the shelves. Newly arrived Miss Meme pencil skirts cater to the customer who wants the pencil skirt that has it all: assorted colors, an appropriate length, and a slightly fuller waisted top to keep that skirt from riding up. “These are made by a frum woman, and the quality is great,” said Stern. “Also, there is no line running down the back of the skirt, something that our customers really appreciate.” Looking for socks before the busy summer season? The hunt is over. Toetally You lives up to its name, with a full line of socks for men, women and children, including our mind boggling selection of Condor socks, known for their superior

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quality. Also featured are JRP, Trimfit and more in outfitting brands, as well as hosiery by Melas, Levante, MeMoi, Hanes and Berkshire. And those shells we mentioned? Time to stock up on that summertime staple! Toetally You has a full line of both Kiki Riki shells and skirts in both kids’ and adults’ sizes, coming in a wide range of colors. Be prepared to get blown away by an exclusive selection of necklaces, including chain links, pendants and adorable enamel necktie necklaces, as well as collection of bracelets, all in a rainbow of colors. In addition to its vast selection of quality merchandise and great prices, Toetally You and its welcoming, helpful staff prides itself on its warmth and phenomenal customer service. As neighborhood residents themselves, the Sterns are proud to accommodate customers from the local

area and beyond. When Hurricane Sandy struck last fall, Toetally You rose up to the occasion. In spite of having opened just eight weeks prior, we did all that we could to aid in hurricane victim relief. Always looking ahead into the future, Shprintzy Stern, the buyer for Toetally You, has her vision set on adding a beautiful selection of pajamas to the store’s fall inventory, which will also include a full line of tights, scarves and gloves. Head on over to Toetally You for all your spring and summer shopping, open Monday through Thursday, Sunday from 10 AM to 7 PM, and Fridays from 10 AM until 4 PM. Text TOETALLY to 21800 for exclusive text message coupons and special offers! Happy Shopping!

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NEWS SHMOOZE

Anger in East Flatbush Persists Over Teenager’s Killing by the Police By J. DAVID GOODMAN

First came the shooting: an armed teenager killed by police officers on a darkened Brooklyn street. Then came the anger: a Monday evening vigil marred by an unruly young mob thrashing its way through local businesses; a second protest the next night; and another on Wednesday night, after which, the police said, someone hit an officer in the face with a brick, another brick was thrown through the window of a police van, and there were 46 arrests — mostly for disorderly conduct. Two officers suffered minor injuries.

‘Freeze,’ ” he said. The officers then fired 11 shots, the police said.

By the time an autopsy of the 16-yearold was released Wednesday, the tension in East Flatbush could be measured in the silently flashing lights of squad cars parked at tight intervals along Church Avenue.

But the findings, inconclusive though they were, appeared likely to heighten the tensions of a community already distrustful of the police and increasingly incensed about the shooting of the teenager.

For some, the sight of extra police officers meant a potential reprieve in an area troubled by crime. For others, it was anything but reassuring.

On Wednesday night, about 200 people attended the vigil. The gathering became unruly when about half of them splintered off and marched to a nearby police precinct station house. After officers in riot gear set up a roadblock on Church Avenue, Mr. Gray’s sister Mahnefah tried to cross the street and was put into a police car. She was given a summons and released. Some of the protesters shouted, “That’s the sister,” then started throwing bottles when the police would not release her. Someone hurled a chair. Screams could be heard as skirmishes broke out on side streets.

The police said that two plainclothes officers fatally shot the teenager, Kimani Gray, just before 11:30 p.m. on Saturday after he brandished a revolver and pointed it at them. The police commissioner,Raymond W. Kelly, said Tuesday that the police had interviewed three witnesses, “two of which say that the officers said, ‘Don’t move.’ ”

Seven bullets hit Mr. Gray, including three that entered his body from the rear, according to the New York City Office of the Chief Medical Examiner. The autopsy did not establish the order in which the bullets struck Mr. Gray, or determine the path of the bullets, which might make clearer if Mr. Gray had his back to the officers when he was shot, or if he had twisted away after being struck from the front.

For local residents, many of whom voiced skepticism about the official account, the situation surrounding Mr. Gray’s death was grimly familiar. Less than a year before, and only blocks away, a narcotics detective shot and killed an unarmed 23-year-old woman, Shantel Davis, as she tried to flee the police in a car that had been reported stolen at gunpoint, the police said at the time. Vigils followed that shooting as well. But soon the rhythms of daily life returned, marked by what young men and women said was a daily backbeat of police stops. “You try to put it out of your mind,” said Ms. Davis’s sister Crystal. In interviews around East Flatbush, many spoke of a Police Department that, in its aggressive pursuit of gangs and informal criminal crews, had sown distrust, especially among young men and women, who feel that their encounters with officers often have racial overtones. At a barbershop along Church Avenue, two men on Tuesday were discussing the recent shooting when an Asian delivery cyclist pulled onto the sidewalk across the street. “See that guy?” said Elverton Thomas, 39, a black man and telemarketer who was there for a haircut. “He can ride on the sidewalk. We can’t.”

“Another witness said an officer says, 36

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NEWS SHMOOZE His barber, Julian Clark, also black, concurred. Two years before, he said, an officer stopped him in front of the shop for sidewalk riding, and then arrested him after the officer said his identification had expired; he spent a day in custody sorting it out, he said. “They have a hard time because there’s a lot of crime in the neighborhood,” he said of the police. “But when they play hardball, they end up going after innocent people, too.” The seemingly constant presence of the police in the lives of many youths — both on the street and, increasingly, monitoring conversations on social media — has left many feeling suffocated, said Shanduke McPhatter, 35, an exgang member who works with young men in the neighborhood. “I understand the state of mind that these youths have,” he said. “The problem is there is no relationship with the police.” At the same time, he said, the situation on the streets has grown more complex for law enforcement: gangs are less organized, replaced instead by informal crews with few requirements and in which leadership is frequently up for grabs among increasingly young members. “The police say, ‘Look at these kids, they’re wild,’ ” Mr. McPhatter said. “And then they use that as an excuse to be wild themselves.” The Rev. Terry Lee, who runs a local youth ministry and acts as a liaison to the police, said many of the neighborhood shootings involved “kids killing kids” and lamented that the community did not rise up more frequently in anger over those shootings. But he said he understood why. “The community we’re living in can get dangerous at times,” he said. “People are afraid of retaliation.”

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Mr. Lee said the local 67th Precinct had grown more open to the community in recent years. “The problem is, people still don’t want to go to the police,” he said. The autopsy report on Mr. Gray did not specify which of the seven bullets caused the death of the teenager; that determination awaits further investigation. One bullet entered his left shoulder in the rear; two other bullets struck the back of his thighs, one in the left thigh and one in the right. Two bullets struck from the front, hitting his right thigh; one bullet entered his left side, striking his lower rib cage; and the last bullet hit his left lower forearm. John C. Cerar, the former commander for firearms training at the Police Department, said many factors could explain the wounds to the front and back of Mr. Gray’s body. “Most of the time, it’s the person making a turn, or the position of the officers,” he said, or some combination of the two. Once that person has a gun, he said, the threat to the officers is imminent. Mr. Gray’s revolver was loaded with four bullets, the police said. Mr. Kelly, the police commissioner, said Tuesday that there was “nothing to indicate that this shooting was outside the guidelines.” Mr. Cerar concurred, saying, “Under the reported circumstances, it appears to be a good shooting.” But raw feeling in the neighborhood fueled accounts at wide variance with that provided by the police. Some said Mr. Gray, while armed, did not point the gun; others said they had heard that there had been no gun at all, or that his hands had been in the air. A family

friend, Kevin Blacks, 33, said he was not surprised that the autopsy had found that Mr. Gray had been shot so many times or hit from behind. He said he had spoken to Mr. Gray’s parents. “The dad is shook,” Mr. Blacks said, standing by a makeshift memorial for Mr. Gray. “He doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t talk. He’s still in a dream.” Local elected officials and clergy members, seeking to lower the temperature in the neighborhood, mostly did not issue new statements Wednesday. “Our focus right now is to get the funeral service together,” said Gilford T. Monrose, a local pastor and community leader who is working with the family on the service; a date had yet to be set, he said. On Tuesday, police investigators could be seen inside a Rite Aid store where, the night before, a group of at least three dozen mostly young people briefly rampaged through the aisles, turning over displays and assaulting one customer who tried to intervene. The police released store surveillance video and later announced the arrest of a 19-year-old, saying he was one of three who hit the customer and took his cellphone. “Nothing justifies that,” Mr. Kelly said. He said at a City Council hearing on Tuesday that the violence had been caused by a disorderly group that broke away from the vigil and did not constitute a riot, as some had termed it. “That belittles it,” City Councilman Jumaane D. Williams said later, referring to the community anger after the police shooting. “So now we’re going to wait for something worse, for something that meets the true definition of a riot?” Patrick McGeehan, Wendy Ruderman

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NEWS SHMOOZE PHOTOS

Rove: Obama Has No Influential Foreign Friends

President Barack Obama suffers from weak ties with leaders overseas in addition to flaws in the substance of his foreign policy, says Republican strategist Karl Rove.

Gorbachev; George H.W. Bush had Germany’s Helmut Kohl; Clinton could depend on the UK’s Tony Blair; and George. W. Bush had Germany’s Angela Merkel and others in his corner.

“He has the same aloof relationship with most foreign leaders that he has with congressional leaders of both political parties at home,” the former George W. Bush aide writes in The Wall Street Journal.

“As former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has said, ‘It’s simple’ to get allies ‘to do something easy but considerably more difficult to get them to do something hard.’ To do that, she added, personal relationships ‘really matter,’” wrote Rove.

He notes that President Ronald Reagan, both President Bushes and President Bill Clinton had close relationships with leaders abroad, whom they always could count on. Reagan had Britain’s Margaret Thatcher and Russia’s Mikhail

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But Obama has done nothing to foster such close relations, he argues. “He’s surprised allies with unilateral actions, as when he cancelled missile-

defense installations in Poland and the Czech Republic,” Rove writes. “He’s dithered when friends have supported American interests abroad, as Great Britain and France did in Libya and are now doing in Syria. He snubbed the Israeli prime minister during White House visits.” While Obama gives signs of learning from his mistakes, “these changes are coming late,” Rove states. “The world — especially the Middle East — is more chaotic and dangerous than it was four years ago. This isn’t the ‘new beginning’ Mr. Obama promised.” © 2013 Newsmax. All rights reserved.

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PHOTOS

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Photos By Avraham Zuroff

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HELP! EXPERT ADVICE

Learning to Say That You’re Sorry By Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA

In marriage, it’s inevitable that sometimes couples will step on each other’s toes; especially during the first year of marriage, where newlyweds find themselves tip-toeing around their spouse’s emotional roadblocks. Don’t forget that it takes time to learn about your spouse’s idiosyncrasies and to learn how to respond in a way that makes them feel at ease. Here are some of the common mistakes people make in marriage:

Wednesday. The Guinness World Records said that the couple held the title for the longest marriage and also for the oldest married couple’s aggregate age. “I think we’re very blessed,” said Florence, 100 years old. “We still love one another, that’s the most important part.” Asked for their secret, Florence said you must never be afraid to say, “Sorry.” “You must never go to sleep bad friends,” she said, while Percy, 105, said

your behavior, actions, or words. • “Please forgive my outburst, I do love and respect you and didn’t mean to speak to you like that.” • “I do love you and I can’t stand fighting with you. Please forgive my part in all this. I want us to speak calmly and with respect for each other.” • ”I am very sorry, please forgive my tone of voice. I love you and don’t want us to continue speaking to

• You forget about an important appointment and your spouse is furious. • You make up a time they will call you on your cell phone and you forget to turn on the phone. • You invite your in-laws for dinner and forget to tell your spouse. • You forget to bring her flowers for Shabbos or Yom Tov. • You leave the dishes pilled up in the sink. Despite your mistakes, you can still undo your past actions by learning how to say, “I’m’ sorry.” Saying that you are sorry is so powerful that many couples have told me that it’s the secret to having a longlasting marriage, as the following story that appeared in a British newspaper points out: “A British couple who hold the world record for the longest marriage said that their success was down to a glass of whisky, a glass of sherry and the word, “Sorry.” Percy and Florence Arrowsmith married on June 1, 1925 and will celebrate their 80th anniversary on 44

his secret to marital bliss was just two words: “yes dear.” The couple has three children, six grandchildren and nine greatgrandchildren and are planning a party soon.” How to say that you’re sorry There are many ways to tell your significant other that you are sorry. To begin with, start by expressing your spouse that you genuinely feel sorry for

each other this way.” • “I’m sorry. I love you and I am overreacting. Let’s take a break right now so we can both calm down.” Second, it is very important to state that you are taking responsibility for your actions and not trying to justify your behavior or make excuses for it. If you don’t take responsibility for your actions then your apology will have little value. You should also

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HELP! EXPERT ADVICE try to convey that you sincerely Their situation needed regret what you did. Many times, mediation. To resolve this issue someone may simply say they are they would first need to become sorry to try to keep the peace and aware of their stressors (like work end an argument, but they are not and child-rearing pressures), and generally feeling remorse for their then find ways to reduce the stress behavior. A genuine expression of of the early-evening-bedtime sorrow for your behavior can mean drama. I also suggested that a a lot to the other person. good place to start would be to Michael, 32, and Rivkah, 29 repair any emotional damage their learned about the need to say, “I’m arguing would cause by saying sorry,” the hard way. Michael was they were sorry and admitting that Ask for comments, as opposed to offering a well-respected accountant who they are overwhelmed. them. worked in a high-pressure job. He Michael and Rivkah were usually worked late hours, and relieved to know that there was a looked forward to unwinding at way to deal with their problems. home — but not to be greeted by Both could learn skills that Show sincere interest in your spouse a loud choir of children when he would help them improve their when he or she is speaking. entered the door. relationship. They didn’t need to A common scenario unfolded be perfect. The true test of their each night when Michael would marriage would be if they could return home from work and be learn how to say: “I’m sorry.” greeted by his ready-for-bed Saying you’re sorry can be Empathize with them. children and a very exhausted difficult, especially if it means wife. At home, his wife Rivkah admitting you were wrong in the was finding raising their children first place. No one likes exposing to be a challenging task, especially their imperfections to others, even Reduce criticism and negative comments. since their young baby had colic to those who are very close to and she faced many sleepless them. Admitting you are wrong nights alone without Michael’s takes courage. Yet, by using these help. Usually, by the time Michael two simple words, people can Use more loving and positive words when came home, Rivkah was worn out make a major difference in their you communicate. and needed assistance. However, marriage. when Michael would open the door, his children would crowd around him, start jumping up and down, and beg for him to play with Actively listen to your spouse’s inner them. But Michael- who usually messages. Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA felt overwhelmed, would get upset specializes in marriage counseling and start leashing out at his kids and parenting teens at risk. He is and yelling at his wife. the author of three books on marTo make the situation worse, riage and family therapy including: Avoid judging or playing the role of Rivkah would hand the kids to At Risk – Never Beyond Reach, psychologist. Michael and run to the bedroom First Aid for Jewish Marriages, to relax. In response, Michael and Getting Closer. would turn on the video machine for the children and try to escape For a free preview of his new to his computer in the living room. Learn when it’s best not to force the issue. book and for videos on marriage Left alone, the children would and parenting, visit www.Jewishfeel abandoned and start crying MarriageSupport.com, or call 646for attention, which would cause 428-4723 to make an appointment. Michael to lose his temper. MAGAZINE Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & events l To advertise call 718-513-9885 nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com 45

8 First Aid Relationship Tips

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.


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INSIDE THE MIND OF

Rabbi Yoseph Vigler A glimpse into the goals and aspirations of a man who wishes to pass out the matches, so that people can spiritually ignite their own fires. BY Rochel Samuels

M

ayan Yisroel opened its doors ten years ago and has only grown since. There are a handful of worthy mentions that Rabbi V. says are the reasons his shul is where it’s at today. It was Leibel Altein who invited him to build the establishment just a decade ago. “Dovid Stein”, he adds, “is the Program Director who makes it all happen. And we are lucky to have just added Rabbi Blesofsky as our youth Rabbi, and all the other wonderful people on our team.” Our goal is to bring a feeling of achdus and create leaders, to inspire and to share, with programs for all ages and classes in Torah, with the warmth of Chassidus, and more. Where did you grow up and how has your upbringing impacted the goals and life you live today? I was born and raised in small shtetlach in South Africa, and my parents were the only frum Jews in town. My father was the Rav of the only orthodox shul in town. It was quite lonely, and I had to travel far for schooling each day. This has helped me to not take things for granted with Jewish life made so accessible nowadays. Where did life take you following 50

done by rote. Although the action might be there, the passion and conviction we once had is lacking. We live in a day and age where everything is easily accessible. That means easy Jewish life, but that also means an age of the Internet, Vegas, and billboards.

your South African adventures? After High School, I went off to Eretz Yisroel to learn in Yeshiva there. Six years and a smicha later, after learning in various places around the globe, I found my wife. I studied in the kollel deep in the heart of Australia and then moved back to the States. What need do you strive to fill in a place already thriving with Judaism? In a way, that’s the issue in itself. In today’s society, where we don’t live in yehoopitzville, being Jewish is suddenly so easy. We are surrounded by davening apps, kosher for Pesach hotels, free trips to Israel, and already made cholent and kugel lining store shelves around the corner. These are all wonderful things, with our generation not having to suffer in Nazi Germany or Communist Russia. But with hardly any effort necessary, things are naturally starting to be

How do you hope to join forces and tackle this issue? With the establishments of more youth movements, and idealism, we hope to infuse this generation of youngsters with the inspiration that will give them the right tools to combat the pressures of today’s modern world.

How have you implemented methods of inspiration under this theory? We are creating a movement where children and virtually anyone can volunteer to be inspired on their own. The school system has its place, and in my humble opinion, is definitely not substitutable. But for the information that we learn in school to become a practicality and practiced with genuine conviction, we try to provide people with the added opportunity to ignite these

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INSIDE THE MIND OF

spiritual fires themselves. How successful, in statistics, has this been so far? Baruch Hashem, we were 3000 strong marching at this year’s Lag Ba’omer Parade. The march instills a pride like no other in the hearts of our little marchers. Our annually hosted dinner draws about 500 people who come together and keep the fire ignited. We run a charter school section where 70 nonfrum kinderlach are Hebrew- educated. In our Kehilla, we’ve gathered a Minyan special for bochurim, for the purpose of not just creating followers, but to instill confidence, and henceforth, to create leaders. For this same purpose, we have created MitzvahShare.org, a system where we buy a couple thousand boxes of Matzah’s, and anyone can come and order the share that they wish to give to their non-frum friends. Instead of giving ourselves, we strive to give other people the privilege of giving, because giving is a most inspirational experience for the givers themselves.

Every 3 Yomim Tovim, Rav Mordechai Zilber Shlita from Boro Park comes to grace us with his words, and we look forward to his next visit for an evening of enlightenment on Shavuos.

What is your overall goal from here on? Our goal is garnered from something the Lubavitcher Rebbe once said: ‘Nachlas Kol’! We strive to reveal the spark of each Jew, allowing for the individual to serve Hashem each in his own way. ‘U’Mala Ha’aretz Dayah Es Hashem Kamayim LiYam Michasim’, we should all be inspired, and stay mainstream, but keep things stimulating and inspiring as can be, despite the pressures of the world around us. It’s been ten fulfilling years and counting, but we’ve only just begun to touch the tip of the iceberg.

What kind of programs do you have on a regular basis? For the children, we plan fun activities; a girls’ Sunday production practice, laining training, torah classes, as well as music and art. These extracurricular options though, are not about the art or the skill. It’s about the environment. By supplying the out-of-school informal environment that uniquely provides the voluntary aspect, the children are in a place where they feel more open to inspiration and the lessons stay embedded for life. For our adults, we have our minyan of course, as well as various fascinating shiurim by renowned speakers. These include: A shiur by Rabbi Doniel Katz who attracts a willing crowd. There’s Rabbi Yosef Jacobson who gives an enthralling chassidus shiur, and many, many more. What do you have in store for us in the coming months? We are lucky to have just purchased two new buildings, with a ground-breaking dinner scheduled for Sunday the 9th of June, Rosh Chodesh Tammuz at the Canal Jean building on Nostrand Ave between H and I. MAGAZINE

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HUMOR

Bernstein walks into work one day at 9 O’ clock. He is dreadfully late. His boss is furious: “You should have been here at eight-thirty!” He shouts. “Why?” says Shapiro. “What happened at eightthirty?”

US In Philadelphia the following sign was plastered onto the window of a business: “We would rather do business with 1000 terrorists than with a single Jew.” Ordinarily, this might be cause to get the antiHate groups involved. But perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors, Goldstein’s Funeral Home, simply make their statement.

Harry and Moish are sitting in their regular spot out in Limbo... waiting, like all other Jewish souls, to be judged. Harry asks Moish what’s on his mind, and Moish replies: “Well, it occurs to me that a man’s life basically consists of 3 stages. The first twenty years are spent with his mother asking him where he is going; the next forty hears have his wife asking the same; and at the end, the mourners wonder, too.” “Yeah,” said Harry. “I know what you mean. But why do you look so startled?” “Because,” retorts Moish, “Here we are in Limbo, and I’m starting to ask myself where I’m going.”

Yaakov Modechai was taking an oral exam applying for his citizenship papers.

A story is told of two men visiting New York City for the first time.

Yaakov was asked to spell “Cultivate” - he spelled it correctly.

They come across two Jews wearing long black coats, wide-brimmed hats, with long beards and payos.

He was then asked to use the word in a sentence. He thought about it for a moment and then said,

One man turns to the other and asks, “What’s that?” The second man replies, “Hassidim.”

“Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for de bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home.”

The first man responds, “I see them, too -- but, what are they?”

Can you Humor Make us Laugh Send us your most hilarious jokes , anecdotes or observations, The top picks will appear here nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com Humor Me P.O. BOX #190811, Brooklyn NY 11219 60

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