Stories from the
BIG CHAIR by EARL MILLER
BOY IS HE HOT! Hola.....Gringos.......Hey I just got off the plane from down in Mexico and I am rested up and feeling like a million bucks.....All green and wrinkled.....A few updates while I have your attention.... remember the cell phone thing about not using it in the car....I have been doing real well with that......not all the way done, but pretty close.....No texting for sure....If you think people are done....just look around while you are driving....I think nobody got the message....Update on the weight challenge......OMG>>>> fresh Macaroons on the beach......you all know I am a little.... or maybe a lot......compulsive in a big way.....this guy comes by with a tray of Macaroons selling them at the beach.....10 for 600 Pesos which is about 5 bucks...so I get 10, because I need 10...8 for me and 2 for friends....if they ask me for one.....if I even tell them I have them......NOT!!! So about 15 minutes after I purchase the Macaroons....(which by the way are not on the weight challenge menu, but are probably the best tasting things you could even imagine....) the guy shows back up and says "Senior would you like to buy the rest of my Macaroons for 100 Pesos? I look at the tray and there are about 40 or more left, but he wants to go home....He tells me his wife will be so happy if he comes home with an empty tray.....so.....you guessed it.....I bought the rest.....now I know I don't have to eat them all......
but I am leaving in 4 days and if I have 10 a day there will still be some left. I gotta say......warm, in the fridge, or in the freezer....they are to die for.....You can't bring them home on the plane so......I weigh in tomorrow....and as my scale said this morning I'm up about 30 Macaroons and a few tacos......I was in 2nd place last week.....so I should only slip to about 30th.....time to get back in it!!!! Jane and I headed for Sayulita Mexico for Valentine's Day for our date night......right after we jumped out of the car we walked up to a street taco vender that was real busy.....and we knew the line would go real fast, so we waited.....only ordered 2 tacos...one for me and one for Jane...I felt like getting a little hot, because it was Valentine's day...so I dripped about 3 very little drops of hot sauce and a little bunch of pickled onions on the top of the taco.... Now you've got to understand this taco is only about 2 bites, but the best thing ever....we sit down at a table and I push the taco in my mouth and take the first bite and it's great.....I take the second bite and it's gone.....after I swallow it.....I feel this weird feeling like something bad is happening to me....Like a fever is taking over my whole body.....My lips feel like they are starting to swell up and I start to feel my tongue catch on fire.....My hair starts to drip with sweat and my body starts to go into shut down mode.....the hottest hot sauce on the planet has now engulfed my entire body and mouth.....I look at Jane and tell her we have to get to a store real quick, cuz I feel like I am going to lose it....I rush up the street and run into a store and grab a package of cookies and start rubbing them on my lips and chewing them in a panic.....I am dripping wet and my mouth stays on 4 alarm fire for about a half hour.....when it finally goes away....I could breathe again....I would like to say....I will never do that again, but for some reason.....I seem to always repeat stupid things over and over until one day my brain says NO. Had a real hot Valentine's Day.....I hope you all had a wonderful day......
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Weekender Magazine March 2011
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