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STUDYING POOR COLLEGE CULTURE CITY BIKE MAP SUGAR BABIES BALLS & SHOWBIZ

WORK HARD, PLAY HARD, PAY HARD. SURVIVING THE SANDSTONE

ISSUE 01, 2013


! " # # $ % & ! " ' ( $ ! ! $'

$0 Monthly Account Fee – Everyday Account* $0 Annual Fee – Student Credit Card* $0 Establishment Fee – Personal Loan* $0 Card Issue Fee – Travel Money Card* Free Mobile Banking – CommBank Kaching

Sign up to Student Options for a sweet banking deal. To find out more visit commbank.com.au/facultyoffree or drop into the University of Sydney branch. * Waived for the duration of your studies, if you are a student at an educational institution located in Australia or are undertaking an Australian apprenticeship. You must show us suitable student identification. Important Information: Consider if these products are suitable for you. For full terms and conditions please go to www.commbank.com.au or visit your local branch. Commonwealth Bank of Australia ABN 48 123 123 124, Australian credit licence 234945.


ISSUE 01 CONTENTS

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GET INVOLVED OR GET OUT

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EDITORS Felix Donovan Eleanor Gordon-Smith Diana Pham John Rowley Lane Sainty Kate Wilcox usubullmag@gmail.com CONTRIBUTORS Tim Asimakis, Adam Chalmers, Angud Chawla, Lucy Connell, Katie Davern, Fabian Di Lizia, Tash Gillezeau, Flora Grant, Jordan Gribben, Declan Karpousis, Georgia Kriz, Ada Lee, Jorgè Nevàs, Sean O’Grady, Melanie Pennington PUBLICATIONS MANAGER Louisa Stylian DESIGN MANAGER Anjali Belani DESIGN Carl Ahearn Nina Bretnall Simon Macias WWW.USUONLINE.COM LIKE US FACEBOOK.COM/USUBULLMAGAZINE The views in this publication are not necessarily the views of USU. The information contained within this edition of Bull was correct at the time of printing. This publication is brought to you by the University of Sydney Union ISSUE 01, 2013

STUDYING POOR

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COLLEGE CULTURE

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CITY BIKE MAP

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SUGAR BABIES

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BALLS AND SHOWBIZ

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What’s On Columns News Interview When I Grow Up Food & Booze Travel Campus Chatter Fashion Sport & Health Science & Tech Going Without Reviews Club Hub Shutter Up Stop. Puzzletime Bullshit

04 06 07 15 21 22 23 24 35 36 37 39 40 43 44 45 46

CONTENTS


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BULL USUONLINE.COM WHAT’S ON

WHAT’S ON

WK 4 (MARCH)

WK 3 (MARCH)

WK 2 (MARCH)

WK 1 (MARCH)

O-WEEK (FEB-MAR)

MON

TUE

FOR THE FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS – HEAD TO USUONLINE.COM AND CLICK THE CALENDAR. CLUBS AND SOCS – REMEMBER TO SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS ON THE WEBSITE!

WED

THU

25

26

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INTERNATIONAL O-WEEK

INTERNATIONAL O-WEEK

O-WEEK

O-WEEK

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS SYDNEY DAY

WONDERLAND COSTUME PARTY

PACK OF JOKERS

International Student Lounge, 1.30pm

Manning Bar, 7pm

WELCOME TO SYDNEY PARTY Manning Bar, 7pm

04

05

06

28

MacLaurin Hall, 7pm Feat. Scott Dooley, Matt Okine, Luke Heggie, Thomas Murphy, JamesColley

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19

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BALL PARK MUSIC

Manning Bar, 7pm Feat. Newgods, Lime Cordiale, Professor

POST GRADUATE DRINKS Manning Bar, 5pm

MXPX

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

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15

THRIFT SHOP PARTY

Manning Bar, 8pm

ST PATRICK’S DAY CELBRATION

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21

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SYDNEY MORNING HERALD – INDUSTRY TALK

BACK TO SCHOOL PARTY

STICKY FINGERS

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28

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DEMON HUNTER

GOOD FRIDAY

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Hosted by MECO Woolley Lecture Theatre N395, 2pm-3pm

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O-WEEK

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Manning Bar, 8pm Feat. Nerdlinger, Batfoot!, Seek the Silence

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01

07

SEMESTER 1 KICKS OFF

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FRI

Manning Bar, 8pm

Manning Bar, 8pm

Manning Bar

Manning Bar, 8pm Feat. Lyall Moloney


ISSUE 01 WHAT’S ON

EVERY WEEK MONDAY-FRIDAY

TOP PICKS THRIFT SHOP PARTY

MONDAYS SOLO SESSIONS

1-2pm, Manning Bar

SCHOOL TUTORING

3-6pm, International Student Lounge

MOVIE NIGHT

6pm, International Student Lounge

$3.50 DRINKS

4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar

TUESDAYS AUSTRALIAN DISCUSSION GROUP 3pm, International Student Lounge

WEDNESDAYS

Thursday 14 March 2013 7pm, Manning Bar

SCHOOL TUTORING

3-6pm, International Student Lounge

FORTNIGHTLY MARKETS 11am-3pm, Eastern Avenue

POOL COMPETITION

WEEKLY FUNCH (FUN @ LUNCH)

4pm, International Student Lounge

1pm, Eastern Ave

MANNING TRIVIA

5-10pm, Hermann’s Bar

5-6pm, Manning Bar

FRIDAYS

GET UP! STAND UP! COMEDY

DJS

4-7pm, Manning Bar

1-2pm, Manning Bar

PROJECT 52 COMEDY

$3.50 DRINKS

7.30-10.30pm, Hermann’s Bar

4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar

ROCK YA BALLS BINGO

THURSDAYS

7-11pm, Hermann’s Bar

HERMANN’S TRIVIA

1-2pm, Manning Bar

5-6pm, Manning Bar

THEATRESPORTS®

Tickets: Access FREE / General $5

BEAT THE SYSTEM

TUESDAY TV

12-3pm, Manning Bar

Manning Bar is welcoming the new uni year with two themed parties which have been chosen by Sydney Uni students. Party one is the Thrift Shop Party which will be headlined by Tyler Touché, the freshest (and youngest) face on the nu-disco scene. His funky, modernised 80s tunes will keep the party going right up until class the next day. Dress code is whatever is sold at Vinnies and Salvos.

LIVE BANDS

COURTYARD TIKI DJ

4-8pm, Manning Bar

1-2pm, Hermann’s Bar

twitter.com/manningbar facebook.com/manningbarsydney

7 MAR

22 MAR

28 MAR

COMING UP

MXPX (USA) + NERDLINGER + BATFOOT! + SEEK THE SILENCE STICKY FINGERS

(ALBUM LAUNCH) + LYALL MOLONEY

DEMON HUNTER (USA)

+ I, THE BREATHER (USA)

19 APR

3 MAY

11 MAY

SILVERSTEIN (CANADA)

DEATHSTARS

(SWEDEN) + GRAVEYARD ROCKSTARS + THE MERCY KILLS

FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND (UK)

7 JUN & 8 JUN – EVIL INVADERS V FEAT. SADISTIC INTENT (USA) + ARCHGOAT (FINLAND) + CRUCIFORM + MIDNIGHT (USA) + PORTAL + NOCTURNAL GRAVES + CAULDRON BLACK RAM + GRAVE UPHEAVAL + SACRIPHYX + IGNIVOMOUS + BLACK JESUS + WITCHAMMER + VASSAFOR + EREBUS ENTHRONED + HORDES OF THE BLACK CROSS + KINGDOM OF DECAY + BLEAKWOOD + WHITEHORSE + INVERLOCH + SPIRE + STAND ALONE + CRONE (AUS)

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BULL USUONLINE.COM COLUMNS

COLUMNS EDITORS’ NOTE FELIX, ELEANOR, DIANA, JOHN, LANE, KATE

Between us we have fifteen years of university experience. That’s five bachelor degrees, or if you’re like Felix and you’re constantly changing majors, not even one single degree. That means we, as a team of editors, have made every mistake you’re likely to make and have sorted out your escape routes. Last year’s final edition of BULL was your buddy at the bar, all about drinking and sex. This year’s first edition is going to be more like your designated driver – a little over-eager, a little too keen to please, but something you’ll ultimately be glad to have. We’ve got all kinds of wisdom to share, from how to ride a bike around campus, to how to survive on the minimum wage by dumpster diving, to how to navigate the social mores of college and even trying to pick up during O-Week. We want you to share things with us too. If you’ve got a kind of wisdom – journalistic, novelistic, photographic, humour-istic – get in touch. We already like you. Congratulations on entering Australia’s second best university. If you’re reading this at Hermann’s, you’re at the second best student bar. If you’re reading this in Carslaw, you’re in the world’s second most Soviet building. But you’re about to start the first best years of your life. Welcome to university. BULL xx

PRESIDENT’S DESK ASTHA RAJVANSHI

With everyone back on campus and the start of semester, the University of Sydney Union (USU) is in full swing to deliver some exciting initiatives for you over the next 12 months. If this is your first year at the University of Sydney, welcome to the institution that will be your home for the next few years of your degree! University life can be daunting at first, but the USU is here to provide you with your own unique student experience. We fill the year with big events like O-Week and Verge Festival, as well as your day-to-day entertainment like Theatresports® and trivia. We also provide you with some essential student services, like late night coffees from the Fisher Coffee Cart to help cram for final exams, to the running of clubs and societies to help you meet new people and make life-long friends. With the introduction of Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) in 2012, you may have noticed that you have to pay an additional $263 upon enrolment. This year, these fees generated approx. $12 million in funds for the University, and whilst these fees do not go directly to the Union, part of their allocation to the USU helps to ensure we maintain our services effectively, as we have done independently for the last 138 years. Finally, the USU is governed by an elected student Board of Directors – which means that they are here to shape the student experience the way you want it to be. USU members are welcome to attend Member Forums or Board Meetings to speak to the Board directly. If you have any questions or want to find out more, please go to yourunionblogspot.com, and please don’t hesitate to shoot me an email at president@usu.usyd.edu.au. Hope you have a great start to the semester!

STUDENT LEADER DIARY

ROBBY MAGYAR AND KRISTY SAMAL ON THEIR CRAZY-FUN TIMES DIRECTING O-WEEK 2013 Directing O-Week 2013 can be compared to falling down a metaphorical rabbit hole into a Wonderland of frantic organising, too much tea, late nights and square eyes – all in the name of fun! We’ve had a ball spending the summer break booking entertainment, ordering 4000 rations of bacon, sourcing bunny ears and top hats and in general, going crazy running around ensuring the festival runs smoothly. The last three months have been overwhelming but luckily we’ve had some amazing volunteers (affectionately known as our Card Guards) and a dedicated team at the USU to guide us along the way. Organising O-Week 2013 has been one of the most rewarding, challenging and demanding roles we have ever undertaken. We’ve gone mad as hatters, but that’s okay, because this year’s festival is proving to be the biggest and best yet! 


ISSUE 01 NEWS

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1 USU Debating Society at Worlds 2013. 2 New-look coffee cups now available in all USU outlets.

1

2

NEWS USU MAKES WORLDS DEBATING GRAND FINAL

The World Universities Debating Championships 2013 was held in Berlin from 27 December to 4 January with 1400 participants representing 400 institutions from 18 countries. Our USU B team, Paul Karp and Dom Bowes, made it to the grand final supporting the notion that ‘this house would not allow religious communities to expel members on the basis of views or actions that contradict doctrinal teachings.’ Unfortunately, Monash proved too strong and took out the championship. Congratulations to three of our team members who left Berlin being ranked in the Top 10 Speakers in the world: Elle

Jones (8), Dom Bowes (7) and Paul Karp (5). We also had three successful adjudicators make the finals: Evie Woodforde, Joseph Ware and Nina Ubaldi.

Please note Life of Degree and Life Access Members do not need to renew their card but do need to visit the Access Desk to subscribe to SMH’s 2013 digital edition.

Join the USU Debating Society – it’s open to anyone interested in debating. Internal seminars commence on Wednesday 6 March 2013 at 5.15pm and occur weekly with drinks and nibbles. Come along and meet the team.

USU COFFEE UPDATE

2013 ACCESS CARDS AVAILABLE NOW For those who haven’t renewed their Access Card yet, you can do so at the Access Desk, Level 1, Manning House and International Student Lounge, Level 4, Wentworth Building. Or, you can renew online at  usuonline.com/access.

As we announced last year, we’ve made the change to Rainforest Alliance Certified™ and 100% organic coffee. Now, every bean we use to make your coffee is 100% Arabica sourced from Rainforest Alliance Certified™ farms that meet strict environmental and social standards set by the Rainforest Alliance. The Rainforest Alliance seal guarantees your coffee was grown on a farm where the workers are treated respectfully, paid fair wages,

equipped and trained properly, have a cleaner and safer workplace, and access to decent housing, education and health care. Keep an eye out for our newlook coffee cups designed by our very own Simon Macias – who also helps design BULL each month.

WRITE FOR US!

Whether you’re a budding student journalist or have a random idea that could be a great story, email us and you could get published here. usubullmag@gmail.com


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BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR THE LEAN YEARS BY KATE WILCOX.

I

t’s three days before your next Centrelink payment comes in and you have five dollars left in the world.Your rent is paid, and you have enough pasta and tinned tuna to make sure you won’t starve until payday.You debate spending your remaining money on bread, of which you have run out, or a good coffee, one of which you have not had in a long time, but decide these are not quite necessities, and so you spend your final five dollars on a train ticket to your unpaid industryrelated internship.


ISSUE 01 FEATURE

Sound familiar? Then you are probably among the 60 per cent of Australian university students who live below the Henderson poverty line. Uni life is costly, especially in Australia, which, according to the 2010 Global Higher Education Rankings, has the second highest cost of living for students in the world. If you are one of the studying poor, and are facing the three-headed demon known as RentFood-Bills, there are tricks you should learn for surviving your days alive and largely intact.

EARNING Youth Allowance is the lifeblood of the poor student. Those sweet fortnightly payments, though under the minimum wage, have funded many a university degree, and are largely responsible for Mi goreng staying in business. If, however, you don’t qualify for Centrelink, or find it inadequate to fund your preferred lifestyle – for instance, you want, like a great high-flyer, to occasionally eat meat, pay for medicine, or buy a pair of jeans – there are other ways to make a living. Aleisa Jeilbart, 21, moved to Sydney from Parkes to study theatre design. She didn’t qualify for Centrelink and work was difficult because her degree required her to do a lot of unpaid work on different theatre productions. Her parents paid for rent and food, and gave her $100 each week to cover everything else. One week in first year, when she was “a bit stupid”, her parents transferred her allowance into her bank account, and she went to Rozelle markets and “kind of accidentally went on a big splurge”. When she checked her account afterwards she discovered she had only $12 to last her the week. “I felt just so ridiculous about buying all these things and being really careless, so I really didn’t want to tell mum and dad. I just thought, I’m going to have to get out of this mess myself,” she said.

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The next day, Jeilbart went down to Glebe Town Lent to spend only $5 per week on food and to supplement their diet with what he calls Hall, and bought a busking license for $10, then went to Central station and busked until she had “bin food”. “It was really fun,” he says of this Lenten enough money to get through the week without period. “That was when I realised you could telling her parents. practically live off this if you wanted to.” He Jeilbart, who sings and plays guitar, had estimates that he currently spends between $10 never busked before but certainly has since. It and $15 per week on groceries, and he goes is a pastime that is particularly useful around dumpster-diving an average of three times Christmas, she says, when it is hard to have each week. enough money to buy presents. On different nights the bins can yield up Alex Laschz, 21, just finished a Bachelor of anything from toothpaste to turnips, mangoes Arts degree at the University of Sydney and has lived out of home for her entire degree. Ineligible to magnums – basically anything sold by large supermarkets that are close to their use-by for Centrelink, she would work six or seven days dates. And Cooper insists that it is not as gross a week during the summer to make her rent for as it sounds, largely because the supermarkets the year and then would work one or two days a have policies of keeping their food so fresh, and week during semester to earn enough money for because they throw different types of food into everything else. different bins. While this meant financial independence, Cooper reckons you eat better, especially as it had its difficulties. Laschz describes most a budget-conscious student, dumpster-diving of the jobs she has had as “fairly crappy”, the than you ever could by simply buying your list included telemarketing, packing books at a food. “I think if you’re trying to be savvy with warehouse, and nannying two “devil children”. your money you end up eating a really hard diet “I was threatened with a steak knife once,” – you eat a lot of pasta and rice. But now I eat she says. “I had one throw a knife at my head yelling: ‘Fight for freedom! No more homework!’” so much fruit and veg. I’ve never been healthier than this year. I eat so much better than I did Needless to say, she quit the job. before,” he said.

FOOD

Food is expensive, especially if you’ve grown up accustomed to such luxuries as meat, vegetables, eggs and fruit. However, there are ways of doing food on a student budget that are cheaper than others. At the more drastic end of the money-saving spectrum is dumpster-diving. Dumpster-diving involves jumping in the large skips into which supermarkets throw their excess food, and salvaging whatever looks edible. Andrew Cooper, 26, is coming towards the end of his PhD at the University of Sydney and has lived as a poor student longer than most. He started dumpster-diving regularly about a year ago when he and a housemate took a pledge for

“NEVER PAY $4 FOR SOMEONE TO DANGLE A TEA BAG IN SOME HOT WATER FOR YOU AT A CAFÉ.”


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BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

CLOTHING

Sartorial survival is difficult on a limited budget. Aleisa Jeilbart remembers one Stuvac when her shoes broke and she couldn’t afford a new pair, so she walked around barefoot for the week until her mother heard about her plight and sent her some thongs in the mail. Since then Jeilbart, who has a fabulous wardrobe, has learnt some things about style on a shoestring. She agrees with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis that thrift shops, or op-shops as we antipodeans call them, are the way to go. But she adds it’s worth driving out to ones in the country, or in outer suburbs of Sydney which are cheaper and less riffled through than the op-shops closer to the city. She also advises that birthdays and Christmases should not be wasted. “When I talked to mum [before Christmas] and she asked me what I wanted, I said, ‘Can I please have undies and bras?’ That’s all I wanted,” she said. Another option is heading to a clothes swap. These gatherings are a way of updating your wardrobe through the simple act of trading. You can host one yourself, getting friends to bring five items of good quality clothing that they’re sick of, to exchange for five items of other people’s clothing. Or, if you’re a lot cooler than your friends and can’t think of anything they wear that you would ever want to, head to one of the clothing swaps hosted every six weeks by The Clothing Exchange.

ENTERTAINMENT An Access Card gets you discounted movie tickets and being at Sydney Uni means you can see all the theatresports you could want, and SUDS’s low, low prices will keep your theatre itches scratched. But even the lowly student sometimes hankers for a taste of the cultured life outside the sandstone walls. There are ways to achieve this. Musicals and big productions will often have a ticket lottery an hour before the show begins, selling any spare tickets (often worth $180) for only $30. If sweet tunes are what you miss and you don’t want to fork out a fortnight’s income for a ticket to a music festival, most of them accept volunteers who trade their services for an admission ticket. The tasks you can volunteer for range from serving coffee, setting and packing up, entertaining children, or standing next to the bins and telling people which is for recycling and which is for compost. Alex Laschz volunteered for Peat’s Ridge in 2011, she did six shifts handing out festival flyers in the weeks leading up to the festival and then got to attend for free. “It was so good, it was so much fun. They’re pretty flexible with what your skills are, what your abilities are,” she says.

PERSPECTIVE, PEOPLE For some people – like those with families to provide for, or no support networks – student poverty is downright crippling. But most of us are comfortably poor, glorying in our rundown share houses and enjoying the enforced ingenuity that an empty bank account and little responsibility engender. While we may not eat well, travel much, or attend the expensive gigs and sporting matches we’d like to, it is a few years of relative poverty in what will probably be exceptionally wealthy lives. On average, university graduates earn 70 per cent more across their lifetimes than those who went only to year 12, according to Professor Bruce Chapman of the Australian National University. It is this figure that caused Ross Gittins to write in the Sydney Morning Herald that he had no sympathy for “self-pitying university students” who are, according to him, “middle-class kids pretending to be poor and deserving, whereas they’re actually setting themselves up for a life of well-aboveaverage earnings”. While Mr Gittins is a little hard on us – no matter your future earnings, it really isn’t fun to live solely off Weet-Bix, or to see the Eftpos machine flash “DECLINED” instead of “APPROVED” – he makes a valid point. Most of us are exceptionally wealthy, not only compared to the vast majority of the world’s population, but also – in terms of opportunity and social, cultural, educational capital – compared to the vast majority of Australians. So, while we whinge, scrimp and budget, let’s also keep some perspective, people.

FREE FOOD TIPS: • Hit up stores for free samples. Harris Farm, for instance, often has stalls giving samples of meat, salads, yoghurt, and dips and crackers on Sunday afternoons. • Stop by bakeries at closing time and see if they’ll give you the excess bread they would otherwise throw away. • If you have any distant relatives or family friends living in Sydney, now is the time to make their acquaintance. Invite yourself over for a meal and get your meat dose for the week. • Take this advice from Belinda Dalton, a recently graduated music student from Melbourne: “Never pay $4 for someone to dangle a tea bag in some hot water for you at a café. Tell them you’re a classical singer and ask for a big takeaway cup of hot water. Impressed and slightly distracted, they’ll comply quietly. Then run around the corner and put a tea bag you brought from home in it, feeling both stealthy and cunningly frugal.”


*

*Terms & conditions apply. Valid at IKEA Tempe only. Offer excludes IKEA services, food, kitchens and appliances. Valid Student ID required at check out. Valid 18.02.13 24.03.13. Not valid in conjunction with any other offers.

IKEA TEMPE:

634-726 Princess Hwy Tempe, NSW 2044 IKEA.com.au/tempe


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BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

LANE SAINTY SHARES THE INS AND OUTS OF COLLEGE CULTURE.


ISSUE 01 FEATURE

“I HAVE SEEN APPROXIMATELY ZERO PEOPLE NOT ‘FIT IN’ AT COLLEGE IF THEY MAKE AN HONEST EFFORT TO GET TO KNOW EVERYONE ELSE.”

IMAGE BY JOHN VON SYDNEY, JOHN DICKINSON, VIA FLICKR

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W

hen scandal hits, college kids close ranks. As witnessed in the past year, the college community didn’t fall apart when under fire from, well, pretty much everybody. Instead, a mentality of ‘us and them’ was made more explicit than ever before. The already tight college community grew tighter still, as dramatic calls to “close down the colleges!” were made in the furore.

Nobody doubts that colleges will be extra careful to toe the line in 2013 – they’d be stupid not to. But that alone won’t satisfy their greatest critics, who think that even in the absence of grand scale scandal, college culture deserves scrutiny. It’s difficult to get even a peek of the day-today culture among the myriad of scandalous and sensational stories that have surrounded the colleges in recent months. However, one aspect of college culture is particularly distinct, and assists in understanding how and why the college community is as close as it is. It’s the intense pressure to, as the stereotypical collegian would say, ‘get amongst it’. Matthew ‘Faf’ Driscoll waxes lyrical about the closeness of the college community. He held the coveted position of Senior Student, which carries the unfortunate acronym ‘SS’, at Wesley College last year. He says without hesitation that the community is the best part of the college experience. “Whether it’s the sporting field, the dance floor, the 3am kebab shop run, the prestigious and way over-the-top formals, beach trips, formal dinners, loose parties, morning-after dining hall conversations with moral and physical hangovers, and just dayto-day living with 200 other people, the community that college offers is unparalleled.” There’s no doubt college has a lot to offer, and provides an incredibly supportive environment for people who are largely living away from home for the first time. However, it can also be a very overwhelming environment, and it’s also not as simple as just giving something a miss if you don’t feel like it. There is a high expectation, albeit an unofficial one, that all residents will get involved in college

life, with social ramifications to bear if you don’t. It’s not just subtle peer pressure either - words like ‘phantom’ and ‘myth’ are regularly used to describe collegians who don’t spend much time at college or who don’t attend enough college events.Your level of involvement can also play a part in which room you are assigned to, with many colleges employing systems in which the more involved students get bigger and better rooms. It seems as though college ought to come with a warning: get involved or get out. However, there is some contention among collegians as to how much or how little one needs to do in order to avoid being labeled a ‘college myth’. According to third year Wesley student Harry Steel, being involved in college life is not difficult at all. “I would say somebody can be ‘involved’ in college life by doing as little as eating lunch and dinner at the same time as most of the other collegians. Sporting or cultural prowess are not required, many students have never represented the college in any form of competition. All that being ‘involved’ necessitates is respecting others, being treated similarly in turn, and endeavouring to talk to and interact with others even when you have little in common.” While some are more than happy to attend every sports game, party and corridor hangout possible, others find the lifestyle restrictive. Arts students Meghan Batcheldor spent one semester at Sancta Sophia College before deciding it wasn’t for her. “The culture at college was what I struggled with. For me the biggest downside was my lack of independence. It’s not just set meal times, it’s initiation procedures, inter-college events, masses, formal dinners. I felt that


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BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

“There is a high expectation, albeit an unofficial one, that all residents will get involved in college life, with social ramifications to bear if you don’t.” I had no control over where I was, whether I was listened to, or who I was with.” When asked what advice he would give to people who are finding it difficult to fit in to the college environment, Harry stressed that people who make the effort will almost always reap the rewards. “I have seen approximately zero people not ‘fit in’ at college if they make an honest effort to get to know everyone else. The beauty of communal living is that people form the unlikeliest of friendships. In the end, my advice is don’t go to college thinking you are better, worse or in any way incompatible with anyone else.” The college community is no doubt strengthened internally by the pressure it exerts on residents to fully embrace the college lifestyle. However, from an outsider’s perspective, it can come across as insular, exclusive and often lacking judgment about what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour. In the aftermath of the infamous John’s hazing incident, in which a first year student was sent to hospital after she was forced to drink a concoction containing dog food, shampoo and alcohol, the colleges

were accused of having a ‘mob mentality’ culture. “The really concerning aspect [of the St John’s incident] is that it is considered perfectly normal and part of the college culture for young boys to corner a group of girls in a corridor and pressure them into drinking anything in such a degrading manner,” says Meghan. “Even if that girl didn’t have to be hospitalised it’s pretty outrageous for that sort of situation to occur at all.” Susan*, a female St Andrew’s student, was unhappy with the way the hazing incident was reported, but not because she thought it was harmless fun. Rather, she felt that the reports lacked context, and as such, were not effective in analysing the factors that led to the incident, and in turn, figuring out what needs to change. “It is often easy to have blinders on while in an institution and it can be very informative to see things from an outsider perspective. When, instead, an event is used as a springboard for sensationalism this opportunity is lost,” she said. It’s true that the ‘outsider perspective’ provided by the media was not exactly well received.

In fact, colleges went into damage is from the ‘college guy’ stereotype. “I must say college is not for control and students were advised everyone. College takes a lot of to not talk to the media. The time and commitment, and you are email addresses on the St John’s also subjected to peer pressure. But College website proved useless do take some time to get to know when seeking comment for this the college and the people.You article – the emails just bounced back. Not one other head of college don’t know, college might surprise you – as it did for me,” he says. responded to an interview request Art is by no means the and students were equally cagey. exception, but he is also not the One declined to comment on St rule. Many students pass through John’s and another checked with the hallowed halls of Sydney their Senior Student before they University’s colleges having had agreed to be interviewed on the the time of their lives. Others leave, condition of anonymity. feeling restricted by a culture Of course, there isn’t a strict which demands their attention and separation for all students. While rewards loyalty above all else. It is for some it’s all about college, at least clear that not all colleges, others attempt to strike a balance, nor all college students, should with varying degrees of success. be tarred with the same brush. As One Wesley College student said former Sancta student Meghan put that she had little trouble fitting it it, “It’s the people that go to college all in. “I found it quite doable to that make it what it is.” Too right – balance fun times and work times, for better, and for worse. and also found it easy to get away * and have ‘me’ time when needed.” name has been changed to protect identity Harry listed off an impressive number of outside activities, including a job, unpaid research and volunteer work at a number WHO’S WHO: SYDNEY of organisations, including AIME, the indigenous student mentoring UNIVERSITY COLLEGES scheme founded by an ex-Paul’s boy. Susan said that she sometimes ST PAUL’S Founded: 1856 found it difficult to balance the Location: 9 City Rd social aspects of university and Who: All-male college college. “Often there will be a direct clash, forcing you to choose ST JOHN’S between attending a uni event or a Founded: 1858 Location: 10 Missenden Rd college one. It is likely that with the Who: Co-ed uni event falling on a key college night, or being a bit left of centre, ST ANDREW’S college will win out,” she says. “It Founded: 1870 Location: 19 Carillion Ave probably wouldn’t hurt to place Who: Co-ed (since 2002) greater emphasis, within college, on the range of activities that uni WOMEN’S has to offer and somehow build Opened: 1892 up the idea that you can do both Location: 15 Carillion Ave Who: All-female college – have a full college experience and engage with uni beyond the WESLEY classroom.” Opened: 1917 Former Paul’s student Art Location: Western Ave Zahar took a blunter approach. Who: Co-ed (since 1969) “A majority of college kids spend SANCTA SOPHIA all of their time doing college Founded: 1925 activities with college friends and Location: 8 Missenden Rd they fail to see that there are plenty Who: Undergraduate women, of university opportunities outside postgraduate women and men of college. I tried my best to have INTERNATIONAL HOUSE a balance between college life and Founded: 1967 university as I saw that both had Location: 96 City Road great benefits,” he says. Who: Co-ed, international and Art’s balancing act was ultimately domestic students a success. He describes his college MANDELBAUM HOUSE experience as an overwhelmingly Foundedt: 1996 positive one, which is encouraging, Location: 385 Abercrombie Street considering just how far Art, a gay Who: Co-ed international student from Malaysia,


ISSUE 01 INTERVIEW

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INTERVIEW

LAWRENCE LEUNG F ull-time comedian, parttime Rubiks cube wizard, Lawrence Leung has been in the comedy scene for over a decade. His naïvely insightful comedic style has won awards and built him a loyal fan base from here to Edinburgh. He’s hunted UFOs, performed as a break-dancer and flown a jetpack built by a mad inventor straight into the sea. BULL catches up with Australia’s favourite bearded Asian dude to talk about conspiracy theorist harassment, tampons, and his upcoming Sydney Comedy Festival Show, Part Time Detective.

HEY LAWRENCE HOW YOU GOING?   Starting off with the hard-hitting questions, I see. Two can play that game: how about the weather we’ve been having lately? Bam. OKAY, LET’S TRY AGAIN. YOU’VE BEEN A COMEDIAN FOR OVER 10 YEARS NOW. DO YOU EVER SHUDDER WHENEVER YOU RE-VISIT YOUR EARLY DAYS OF BEING A STAND-UP COMEDIAN? I not only shudder, but I curl up into a ball and cry. Actually, that’s pretty much how my first routine went. It was a sketch about child birth at show-and-tell in Grade 3. Tough crowd.  HOW DO YOU FIND BEING A STAND-UP COMEDIAN DIFFERENT FROM BEING ON TV? Stand up on stage.  The Pros: Immediate reaction from the crowd. Electrifying energy. Human interaction.  The Cons: Immediate silence from crowd. Dead energy. Heckler interaction.  Being on TV. The Pros:You can do re-takes if you stuff your lines.  The Cons: People heckling at you from cars. 

YOU’VE DONE QUITE WELL WITH YOUR SHOWS SO FAR. DO YOU EVER WORRY THAT YOU MIGHT END UP LIKE M NIGHT SHYAMALAN WHERE AFTER HAVING A COUPLE GOOD STINTS, YOU’LL RUN OUT OF LUCK AND EVERYTHING YOU DO AFTER IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE? Not really. Standup comedy is only a stepping stone to becoming a director of supernatural movies with painfully obvious, innocuous, or self-congratulatory plot twists. 

YOU AND FRANKIE WRITER BENJAMIN LAW HAVE DONE A YOUTUBE VIDEO INSTRUCTING GIRLS ON HOW TO INSERT A TAMPON. HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT? His sister Michelle is writing a period film. That is, a short comedy film about menstruation, not a film about people in frilly costumes gossiping about Keira Knightley. Michelle and her director found some really crazy, absurdly clinical tampon instructions from the US – so they wanted us to read them out for their Pozible crowd-funding campaign. It was pretty embarrassing to film, but I hope it opened up the floodgates to their crowdfunding (hmm, not a great choice of words, there). TALKING ABOUT OPENING THE FLOODGATES, YOUR LAST STAND-UP GIG BEGINNING, MIDDLE AND END WAS INSPIRED BY EROTIC FAN-FICTION SOMEONE’S WRITTEN ABOUT YOU ON THE INTERNET. HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL THAT PEOPLE YOU’VE NEVER MET BEFORE FANTASISE ABOUT YOU? Confused and scared like Harry Potter as Snape entered the bedchamber, sweating as he held his glistening wand aloft...what was the question again?  DO YOU OFTEN FIND WEIRD SHIT ABOUT YOU ON THE INTERNET? Will this be on the Internet? Then yes. YOUR LAST SHOW UNBELIEVABLE WAS HILARIOUS AND QUITE NERDY… Unbelievable was a comedy documentary series that put some fun science and critical thinking back into the paranormal investigation type of show. The aim was to make it funny when it wasn’t fascinating and fascinating when it wasn’t funny and then let the audience come up with their own conclusions about what they chose to believe. HOW DID PEOPLE GENERALLY RESPOND TO UNBELIEVABLE? The response was overwhelmingly positive.

HAVE YOU ENCOUNTERED ANY BAT-SHIT CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORISTS OR ANYONE WHO GETS OFFENDED BY UNBELIEVABLE? I got some strange email requests for me to investigate pyramids in the outback or asking why Asians should be allowed on TV. There was a psychic on Twitter who wrote that if he ever came across me in the street he would “punch my hipster face”. I was less aggrieved by the threat of violence than the label of ‘hipster’.  CAN WE EXPECT TO CATCH ANY OF YOUR SHOWS IN SYDNEY SOON? Yes, I’m doing a Sydney Comedy Festival season of my new show Part Time Detective. It’s about some of my adventures to live my life exactly like Sherlock Holmes – cracking cases, solving mysteries, but not smoking opium. If you have a case for me to solve, email:  me@lawrenceleung.com


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ISSUE 01 FEATURE

ELEANOR GORDON-SMITH RIDES YOU AROUND TOWN.

W

elcome to 2013. Get on a bike. Whether you’re a first year looking for something to fill the time between O-Week and dinnertime, or you’re starting honours and in need of some incidental cardio, you’re in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, it’s summertime and you’re young. Get on a bike.

BEFORE YOU START HAVE A BICYCLE

If you go to the University of Sydney odds are there’s a fixie in your immediate group of friends.  If not, there are plenty of hire places that will furnish you with a bipedal friend for an hour or for a day. Try the Humble Vintage in Darlinghurst, or the Bike Library in Newtown. Bike Hire at Sydney Olympic Park will be able to cater for you if you’re riding with a disability or if you need to take a child with you.

KNOW THE RULES

In New South Wales, a bike is a vehicle. Vehicles have to obey road rules. That means no riding when you wouldn’t blow zero, no riding on footpaths,

and no sailing through red lights or stop signs screaming “you’re not my real dad!”

WEAR A HELMET

Night shift nurses call helmetless cyclists “donors”.  Just wear one.Yes, a helmet will mess your hair up. Tarmac will mess your skull up worse. They’re $20 from Inner City Cycles, which is a five minute walk down Glebe Point Rd.

BE SAFE

Don’t embark on a journey if you’re not familiar with the rhythm and faults of your own bike. Know how to put your chain back on, make sure you’re not relying on steep downhills to teach you what a malfunctioning brake looks like, and pump your tyres up before you set off.

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PACK LIGHT, PACK WELL

Things that infinitely improve any bike ride include: more water than you think, a cardigan for when the sun goes down, $5 for an ice cream, some lip balm.

YOU ARE A SCAPEGOAT. A SPEEDY BEAUTIFUL SCAPEGOAT

When you are a cyclist, everybody hates you. Pedestrians hate you because you are slightly faster than them, motorists hate you because you are slightly slower than them, and other cyclists hate you because you’re somehow riding wrong. Just own it. If it helps, you can sing “they see me rollin’” under your breath.


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BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

1. GETTING OUT OF UNIVERSITY

Get your speedy wheels onto Western Avenue. If you ride past Manning Bar, away from the Quadrangle and turn left when you hit the ovals, you’re on Western Ave! Ride all the way down Western Ave. On your left you’ll pass Wesley College, St Paul’s College, and Women’s College. The architecture of the colleges is moderately-to-fairly beautiful and it’s easy to let our surrounds at university become white noise, so take it slow and notice things you normally wouldn’t.

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2. KNOCK SOME ART BACK

When Western Ave hits Carillon Ave, dogleg onto Queen St. Ride Queen St onto Wilson St and visit Anna Schwartz Galley - 245 Wilson St Darlington. Inside Carriageworks, the Anna Schwartz Gallery is famous for large installation art. It’s reopening in February 2013 with the work of Dale Frank. Even if art isn’t your thing, the grounds of Carriageworks are well worth having a play in.

3. GET THE NEWTOWN BUG

Ride down Wilson until you hit Bucknell St, which has some charming terraces and has a clearly marked bike lane (it’s the big wide green thing). Hop off and walk the last leafy pavement bit to hit King St, the home of the best Thai, worst clubs and highest hippies-to-square-metre ratio of anywhere in Sydney. Stick your head in at Magnation if you’re a magazine fan, then stop at Corridor for blues and tapas if it’s the witching hour, or at Luxe if coffee is more appropriate.

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4. YOUR VERY FIRST PARK

Ride down Missenden, turn right onto Campbell (keep an eye out for the aqua house!) turn right onto Queen, left onto King and then stay straight until you hit Victoria Park.You’ll make out with a lot of people here in your time at university so don’t worry about stopping and feeding the ducks unless they’re spelling out your name on the surface of the pond.

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5. GLEBE AND SOME PASTRIES FOR THE ROAD

Ride through Victoria Park and cross Parramatta Rd until you hit Glebe Point Rd. The first bakery you hit on your left (one shop after Clipper Café) is one of the best in Sydney so grab some croissants and keep moving. Glebe Point Rd is for group study sessions and morning-after recovery. Keep rolling.

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ISSUE 01 FEATURE

8

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6. BACK STREETS AND SOME WATER

Move incredibly carefully – Glebe Point Rd is where jaywalkers go to study each other’s technique and where drivers will compete for Most Surprising Door Opening 2013. Turn right down Mitchell St. If houses were characters Mitchell St would be a soap opera. Keep an eye out for the sneaky pair of gnomes, the house decorated by children’s chalk, and the bike that has been “for sale” for 18 months, in which time the handwritten asking price has perfectly tracked changes in oil prices. Turn left at Wentworth Park Rd, left at Bridge Rd and right at Taylor.

7. BLACKWATTLE BAY

Blackwattle Bay is very bike-friendly and home to scores of swimming dogs. Have a play and waste some time. Venture as far around the foreshore as you feel comfortable, just remember to keep an eye out for joggers and to use your bell. Try to Morse code your own name on your bell, or your phone number if any of the zealous exercisers take your fancy. Depending on the time of day, Blackwattle Café is worth stopping in on, but don’t expect speedy service – if you’re in a hurry, better make it a take away.

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8. PYRMONT AND THE FORESHORE

Come back the way you came, ride through Wentworth Park, up through the fish markets and down to Jackson’s Landing. Ride along the waterfront, take in the view of Anzac Bridge from underneath and the old sea relics along the foreshore. Ride all the way around to Pirrama Park where there are tapas bars by the foreshore and a vantage point from which you can see both bridges. Make noises to your friends about how nice it is to be young and living in Sydney. To get back to the University, just ride across Wentworth Park and back up Mitchell St until you hit Glebe Point Rd.

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BULL DOES NOT CONDONE WEARING HEADPHONES ON YOUR BIKE.

THE PO-PO WILL SHUT YOU DOWN UNLESS YOU: • • • • • •

Wear a helmet Obey traffic signals Have a horn or a bell Have a red rear reflector Have lights on your front & back Know all the lyrics to Mark Ronson’s ‘The Bike Song’

It’s against the law and means you can’t hear oncoming cars, which seems stupid because they’re bigger and faster and more metallic than you. But here’s what you should play in your head: ‘Do The Stomp’ – The Snowdroppers If this doesn’t get you pumped for cardio nothing will. ‘The Bike Song’ – Mark Ronson Geddit? Because you’re on a bike! ‘Do The Trick’ – Dr Dog You’re probably a hipster, just wear it. ‘Thrift Shop’ – Macklemore Everybody should always listen to this song. ‘Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard’ – Paul Simon For added whimsy consider tying a flower to your shoe.


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BULL USUONLINE.COM SECTION HEADING


ISSUE 01 WHEN I GROW UP

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WHEN I GROW UP I Want to Be... A Porn Writer E

ver pondered an alternative career path to that of your degree? You’re not the only one. This issue BULL goes drinking with a porn writer. SO WHAT DO YOU DO? I interview the women who send in photos of themselves from around Australia and write them up in sexy blurbs beneath the sexy photos. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING TO FIND? Fairly straightforward things, like what’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done? What’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex? What’s the weirdest thing a partner’s ever asked you to do? AND ARE THEY GENERALLY FORTHCOMING? They are. Sometimes they don’t really know what to say so they’ll sort of go “I'm into anything” but other times it’s weirdly specific, like “yeah I have a double-ended strap on.” I don’t even know how that works. Where’s the strap? IS IT BY PHONE OR IN PERSON? Oh, by phone. In fact all of them so far have been from South Queensland. WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE HEARD IN RESPONSE TO ONE OF YOUR QUESTIONS? An all-girl orgy is pretty common, or stuff like “I'm really interested in BDSM but I’ve never tried it.” Someone had sex in a laundromat while it was open, in a sleepy Queensland town. This is going to sound callous, but some of them seem much more attractive once you learn a bit about them. It makes the women seem more

interesting, or hypothetically you’d engage with them in a more sexual level, that’s good. That’s a positive thing. That’s what you want from porn. IT SEEMS LIKE A VERY WEIRD SOCIAL INTERACTION. Not really, I mean we’ve both bought into it. It’s funny. The weird thing for me is what to say at the end, is it “have a nice day”? Is it “get back to the kids”? Most of the time it’s just “thanks for your time.” It’s cordial. It’s polite. Porn serves a purpose. I'm just trying to appreciate that and deliver the specifics of it. FOR WHAT PURPOSE? I suppose in addition to all the things about loneliness or a libido that isn’t being satisfied, it also makes people aware of a variety of sexual avenues that they weren’t previously aware of. Most of us probably watched porn before we ever had sex, and that shaped our expectations, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I'm talking about internet porn here. Honestly I don’t even understand why there’s still magazine porn. It’s baffling. That said there is something nice about it, in the same way that we like books instead of kindles. WHAT’S IT LIKE AS A WORKPLACE? It’s entirely freelance. It’s basically the equivalent of writing for The Brag except it pays much better and there’s no research required. They say “we’ve got these women who need to be

interviewed” and I can do it whenever I want up until deadline. HOW MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR LINE OF WORK DO YOU RECKON ARE SHOOTING THROUGH TO OTHER THINGS? I think it’s a mixed bag, you get people like me, and people who are really porn-driven. But it’s the same sort of thing as a News Ltd publication. I'm sure there are people who feel passionately about it, but for most people it’s just a job. IS THERE ANYTHING IN THIS FIELD THAT YOU WOULDN’T WRITE ABOUT? Anything that would demean any of the women. One of the reasons they wanted to hire me was that [it’s important] that the interviewer is nice. WHO’S THE MOST INTERESTING WOMAN YOU’VE INTERVIEWED SO FAR? Probably Laundromat girl. Because she professed to having a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, all in this open relationship. And they knew about each other, and they’ve all had sex together, and she had this double ended purple strap on and had this fantasy about strippers and a hotel. She had kids as well. DO YOU IMAGINE THAT YOU DOING THIS WOULD BE A DEALBREAKER FOR ANY WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE? No, my girlfriend is supportive of it. She finds it the same level of practical and funny that I do. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME, CHEERS!

“Most of us probably watched porn before we ever had sex, and that shaped our expectations, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.” DID YOU KNOW IT’S ILLEGAL TO TRADE PORN IN NSW?

“Porn” refers to X-rated material, which features images or footage of non-simulated sexual intercourse. An X-rating does exist in NSW, but you can’t buy or sell anything above R. Don’t flee to the border just yet though; porn is totally legal to own.


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BULL USUONLINE.COM FOOD & BOOZE

FOOD & BOOZE S

Not quite breakfast, not quite lunch.

ydney loves to brunch. Cafés across the city overflow every Saturday and Sunday morning. But, there are also plenty of opportunities near campus to sneak in a mid-week brunch around your timetable.

FLORA GRANT LOVES A MID-MORNING MEAL.

CAFÉ GIULIA

TOBY’S ESTATE

THE WEDGE ESPRESSO

CLIPPER CAFÉ

92 ABERCROMBIE ST, CHIPPENDALE

32-36 CITY RD, CHIPPENDALE

53-55 GLEBE POINT RD, GLEBE

16 GLEBE POINT RD, GLEBE

Located in a renovated butcher shop, Café Giulia is worth the extra walk. The menu options are overwhelming at best and downright intimidating for the indecisive among us. The massive blackboard spans the entire back wall of the restaurant, including old favourites like the hamburger with bacon and egg, one of Terry Durak’s top 10 burgers in Sydney, legendary corn fritters and an immense omelette selection. There’s no shortage of carbs including bagels, English muffins, rolls, sandwiches, Tuscan toast and Turkish bread. The beverage choice is also gigantic – go for one of the refreshing homemade fruit sodas.

Particularly accessible for anyone on the Darlington side of campus, Toby’s Estate in Chippendale continues Toby’s reputation for great coffee. They have a small range of brunch basics including fluffy scrambled eggs, avocado toast and a breakfast board. Their sandwiches always run out, so are worth a try alongside your freshly roasted coffee. There’s also a delicious range of sweets, the raspberry buttermilk tart is probably a good idea. The City Rd store is considered the headquarters, so coffee success story Toby Smith will often make an appearance. It’s also where the roasting happens so you’ll see deliveries coming in and out all day.

This long skinny restaurant has shaken up the Glebe café scene with its excellent coffee and well priced, delicious food. The $7 bruschetta is a filling option, while the all-day breakfast board is known for its tasty bircher muesli. There’s also a broad range of delicious sandwiches. Follow @WedgeEspresso on Twitter for their secret menu, which in the past has included Frosty Iced Milos and Coke slushies mixed with cold-drip coffee. Big windows that open up on to the street provide an excellent spot for people watching while you down a pulled pork sandwich. There’s a relaxed and comfortable vibe here that will have you returning time and time again.

It’s hard not to fall a little bit in love with Clipper Café – it’s got charming décor, communal tables and free WiFi. It’s easy to while away the time here between classes when it’s always busy with students, travellers and locals, so not the quietest place for your essay writing. Clipper’s range of baked eggs is a good heavy option on a wintry day, whereas when it’s warmer you can enjoy the ricotta pancakes or crumpets dripping in maple syrup. The servings are big and they have a range of gluten free options too.

Coffee: $4 Meal: $10-16 Walking distance from Manning: 10 mins Urbanspoon rating: 81%

Coffee: $3.50 Meal: $6-14 Walking distance from Manning: 15 mins Urbanspoon rating: 98%

Coffee: $3.50 Meal: $8-20 Walking distance from Manning: 20 mins Urbanspoon rating: 81%

LIFE SAVER BREAKFAST CASSEROLE WHAT YOU NEED: • • • • •

A loaf of bread, crusts cut off Delicious fillings e.g. ham, cheese, mushrooms, spinach, smoked salmon 6 eggs ½ cup of melted butter Cornflakes

HOW TO MAKE: 1. Get a shallow rectangular baking dish and cover with a layer of bread 2. Cover the bread with a layer of your chosen fillings 3. Top with a layer of bread 4. Beat the eggs together and pour them over the dish 5. Pop it in the fridge overnight. Bring it out the next morning about 1.5 hours prior to brunch

6. Pour the melted butter evenly over the dish and then sprinkle cornflakes on top 7. Bake at 180 degrees for approximately one hour 8. Cut into squares and serve hot (like lasagne). Enjoy!

Coffee: $4 Meal: $8-18 Walking distance from Manning: 12 mins Urbanspoon rating: 82%


ISSUE 01 TRAVEL

TRAVEL SYDNEY

Home and Away

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“Taking on the guise of a tourist could help reignite your excitement for Sydney’s unique beauty and character.”

JORDAN GRIBBEN REDISCOVERS WHERE THE BLOODY HELL HE IS.

R

eports, surveys and polls consistently rank Sydney among the world’s most liveable cities and popular tourist spots. According to Destination NSW, the state’s main tourist body, over 30 million people visited Sydney in the year ending last September. That’s the highest number since we hosted the Olympics in 2000.

However, we long-term residents often fall victim to routine, with Sydney becoming just a backdrop for monotony rather than a setting to be prized. That’s why taking on the guise of a tourist could help reignite your excitement for Sydney’s unique beauty and character. Exchange students and holiday-makers often seem to know more about Sydney and its vibrant range of events than locals. Visitors are forever attending food markets, one-off club nights and surfing lessons to gain the most from their limited time in Sydney. Emulating this passion and desire to soak in the city gives a

fresh perspective on old Sydney staples. No longer is the Harbour Bridge just an irritating stop-gap between Wynyard and North Sydney, but an architectural feat presenting incredible views from its summit. A leisurely wander through the Rocks reveals a bustling atmosphere, replete with a bevy of buskers and colonial sandstone. Sites like the Botanical Gardens are often dismissed by locals as being two hundred metres too far from Opera Bar. Making the hike there is worthwhile though. The flora’s charm is made clear by tourists’ fresh and impassioned praise of the gardens.

Also enjoyable is a visit to Luna Park. Passing through the iconic arch of ever-white chompers will bring you straight back to your childhood.We recommend taking a spin on the rotor prior to food consumption. These suggestions (admittedly very harbour-centric) might feel too close to the rather restrictive vision of Sydney proffered by our tourism bodies. If so, consider venturing to one of our many National Parks. Scattered across and around the city, each of these refuges plays host to a unique variety of natural specimens and stunning walks.  They also offer remarkable insight into the history of our city. For example, Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park places emphasis on indigenous culture (heritage walks and art areas abound) as well as the architectural travails of yesteryear. What we often forget is that Sydney’s iconic sites – both natural and man-made – are calling cards for a reason. If you’re hosting tourists, show off what you consider to be the best of where we live. You’ll be hard-pressed to skip the obvious tourist traps. Tourists’ amusing observations can also re-confirm some of the lessthan-savoury aspects of Sydney. What my visiting English cousin described as the initial “halo effect” that the harbour had was put to an end by a brief stay in a Kings Cross hostel.You may yourself have recently travelled to Sydney for the first time. If so, welcome to the second most-expensive city in the world! Be sure to share your enthusiasm with jaded locals. Drag them, if you have to, from their usual haunts, imbue them with your taste for adventure, and fill every memory card you have at hand.

APP-LICABLE Whether you’re a local or a Sydney newbie, the non-stop stream of deals, discounts, promotions and incentives available through Groupon, LivingSocial, Cudo, Scoopon et al. mean that Sydney doesn’t have to be as expensive as it might seem.

LUNA BY LUNA Luna Park’s off-peak season (ending on March 28) offers 2-for-1 ride passes after 6p.m., making a romantic moonlight visit accompanied by candy and clowns easier to afford.

FERRY NICE, FERRY CHEAP Wouldn’t you just love to see the harbour by sunset? You could spend an evening (and most of your savings) aboard a formal cruise. Otherwise, you might prefer to take a standard ferry as evening sets in for a fraction of the price. We recommend MyMulti tickets to get more bang for your buck.


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BULL USUONLINE.COM.AU CAMPUS CHATTER

CAMPUS CHATTER TO THE GUY IN THE MONDAY CHEM2402 TUTORIAL, I can’t take my eyes off your test tube. Someone who likes to experiment

HEY YOU!

SOMEONE YOU WANT TO WOO AND/OR PASSIVELYAGGRESSIVELY COMPLAIN ABOUT? SEND US YOUR STALKER MESSAGES: USUBULLMAG@ GMAIL.COM

I’M NOT A STALKER, BUT... TO THE ARCHAEOLOGY ADONIS You like to see what’s under the ground; I’d like to see you under me. The Excavator

TO THE BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE AT FISHER LIBRARY, You’ve got me hook, line and sinker. A Catch

TO MY MATHS TUTOR, Want to count how many times we can do it in a night? You know the formula to my heart

TO THE GUY WHO HUMS ‘SEXUAL HEALING’ IN OUR ENGLISH LECTURE, Let’s get it on. Gaye for you

TO THE NURSE WHO HELPED ME STRAP UP MY ANKLE, In my dreams you are strapping something else on. Aching for you

TO THE MACKLEMORE-INSPIRED THRIFT SHOPPER, You actually smell like my grandpa. And I like it. Electra

TO THIRD-YEAR MECO GIRL, I’m ready for my private interview. Off the record

TO THE ACOUSTIC GUITARIST IN MUSC2612, You make my heart sing. Wild Thing

TO THE CUTE HERMANN’S BARTENDER WHO’S ALWAYS GRUMPY, If you poured my gin with a grin maybe we could vermouth out of here some time. Shaken, not stirred

TO THE NIKE-CLAD TENNIS PLAYER, Just do me. Lleyton Do-it

VOX POPS QUESTION WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS?

TOM

JENNA

JACK

My band was playing at Peats Ridge Festival on NYE so my resolution (if I believed in them) was to play more gigs.

More gardening, lawn bowls and bingo nights. Old is the new young.

Study harder, pull more girls.

LAW V

MED I

ARTS III


ISSUE 01 CAMPUS CHATTER

PLEASE, HAVE A COW GOT BEEF WITH SOMETHING? SPILL YOUR GUTS IN 400 WORDS OR LESS TO USUBULLMAG@ GMAIL.COM

JONATHAN WALLACE IS FED UP WITH FEBRUARY 14

To sell 42-inch plasmas in February, Dick Smith Electronics chose to plaster their store windows with, ‘Who Thinks You Should Give Her One On Valentine’s Day?’ In case that was too subtle, the question was followed with ‘Dick Does.’ Let’s put aside the truly awful double-entendre and the image of woman-as-submissive-receiver, and just for a moment examine the wording. Not ‘do you want to give her one?’ but ‘Who thinks you should…’ as though the question requires a collective answer as an opinion poll would.

If the majority vote no, can I still proceed? What if they vote yes, but I don’t want to? It would seem that Dick’s dickish marketing team learnt about intimacy from the Cronulla Sharks. My real quarrel is not with Dick Smith or his sexually frustrated creative director, but with Valentine’s Day – with the whole project of commercial love: chocolates, flowers, excruciatingly well-tied ribbons and everything doused in pink. (Why do heartshaped chocolates taste worse?). Why do marketing teams feel compelled to cast women as prissy gold-diggers in early February? And why do men

believe them? In 2012, Americans spent $18 billion on Valentine’s Day gifts. On average, men spent more than double what women did, spending close to $200 each. Price-tagging romance does more damage to love than all of the rom coms in which Ben Stiller stars as himself. Valentine’s is emotionally cheap despite not being cheap at all. It says some people – by virtue of financial success – can access the ideal forms of love and partnership, while others can’t. For if love can be quantified by the amount and shininess of the presents a man buys for ‘his’ woman, then count me out.

WINGER

DRAPER

ANGUD CHAWLA GETS BEHIND COMMUNITY’S JEFF WINGER

TIM ASIMAKIS MAKES THE CASE FOR MAD MEN’S DON DRAPER Don Draper is flawed. The alcoholic, emphysemic, domineering, womanising, adulterous, uncommunicative, depressingly insular man at the heart of Mad Men is perhaps better suited to rehab and intensive therapy than the label of ‘Television’s Leading Man’. And yet, his melancholy hedonism has earned him, as a fictional character, the titles of AskMen’s most ‘Influential Man in the World’, GQ’s ‘Man of the Year’, and one of People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Men Alive’. His credentials are impressive: Don Draper will out-drink his boss and smile smugly as said boss vomits in front of clients (presumably before ambling off-screen for a tactical coronary); he’ll hide every detail of his past beneath layers of addiction and depression; he’ll maintain a marriage (sort of) while simultaneously fucking every woman he meets; he’s even bringing lung cancer back, twenty Lucky Strikes at a time. Mere mortals would see their careers affected by such wanton debauchery. Not Don Draper. Brilliant, if not always conscientious, Draper insists on climbing the corporate ladder until it runs out of rungs, selling people their own vices along the way. If Don Draper were to swap his sixties-styled suits for the garb of a Hollywood star of today, he would be a home wrecking Charlie Sheen. And yet, Draper has somehow convinced audience members around the globe to ignore such meditations and instead reflect on whether they would rather be him or be under him. It is this unparalleled aptitude for deceit that makes Draper so compelling: Mad Men’s leading man is truly Television’s Leading Man.

25

LOCKING HORNS DISPUTED: TELEVISION’S LEADING MAN

Jesus Christ had serious daddy issues. That, and a questionable hairstyle. But he had a body crafted by the gods, unparalleled eloquence, a loyal group of followers and an aptitude for magic. However, he was never very good at paintball. That’s where we move from the center of the Venn diagram into the exclusive zone of ‘TV’s Leading Man’, Community’s Jeff Winger.  He is a master of manipulation. His hit-list features teachers, principals and even his closest pals in a beautiful display of self-betterment. He receives credit points for playing pool in shorts, studying with Professor Professorson, and drinking with an Asian Spanish teacher having an affair with a mannequin leg. Those well-versed in bypassing the dreaded ‘absent fail’, or who struggle with oppressive morning classes, or invest hours into life’s biggest question – how do I avoid studying? – stand up and applaud this man. Applaud every second of his effort-free joy ride through educational enlightenment. All the ingredients in the leading man recipe are present: mouths drop when faced with his charm – pants drop in the vicinity of his sarcasm-laden humour – and somewhere, Regina George has dropped in shock, having found a narcissist with powers beyond her own. Jeff extracts lessons from misplaced stationery; from insane Spanish teachers, and even from a cross-dressing, bald, surprisingly ripped Deal Pelton. His speeches make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. And then we pee a little.   Our screens don’t need another chain-smoking sexist. We had Popeye for that. The hero we deserve, and need, is Jeff Winger.


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E IV US R CL FE EX OF

Fri Jan 20 10:10

Wednesday January 30, 2013

Your Access Membership delivers good news

First published 1831 No. 54,699 $1.70 (inc GST)

THE BIG WET

FOUR DEAD AFTER WILD WEATHER

DRINKING WATER COULD RUN OUT

RESCUERS FRUSTRATED BY STUPIDITY — REPORTS PAGES 4-5

Socialite may face jail over insider trading charges Colin Kruger ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

Oliver Curtis ... agreement with John Hartman. Photo: Lee Besford

THE Sydney socialite Oliver Peter Curtis was charged on Tuesday with conspiracy to commit insider trading, two years after his former best friend John Hartman pleaded guilty to insider trading offences that led to a prison sentence. The charges relate to an alleged agreement between the two

where Mr Curtis allegedly traded on the basis of inside information Hartman possessed about the trading intentions of his employer, Orion Asset Management. According to the Australian Securities and Investments Commission, in return for providing the insider information, it is alleged Mr Curtis provided Hartman with a share of the profits in the form of cash

and ‘‘by using the funds to purchase items for Mr Hartman’’. Mr Curtis is the son of the Sydney businessman Nick Curtis, a founder of Sino Resources and the executive chairman of the rare earths miner Lynas Corp. Mr Curtis works with his father at a corporate advisory firm, Riverstone Advisory. Hartman, the son of the prominent Sydney obstetrician Keith

Hartman, was sentenced to three years’ jail after pleading guilty to related, and unrelated, insider trading offences in April 2010. Hartman, who had previously enjoyed luxury cars and gambling trips to Las Vegas, was sent to jail in a form of protective custody for volunteering to give evidence against Mr Curtis. ASIC alleges that Mr Curtis traded on 45 separate occasions

between May 1, 2007, and June 30, 2008, making a total profit of $1 million. According to a release from ASIC on Tuesday, Mr Curtis was granted bail ‘‘on a number of conditions’’ and the matter will return to court on March 26. The charges carry a maximum sentence of five years’ jail. In sentencing Hartman, Justice Peter McClellan wrote

PM gets tough on deals for well-off Mark Kenny POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

THE Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, will commit her government to big ‘‘structural’’ cuts in spending, putting a range of concessions and tax breaks enjoyed by wealthier Australians in doubt. In her first big agenda-setting speech for the year, Ms Gillard will use an address to the National Press Club on Wednesday to say the cuts are necessary for the government to fund its signature education and disability reforms, which are likely to be the centrepiece of its campaign. The spending cuts, according to excerpts from her speech notes released to the media, were ‘‘tough and necessary’’ in a new ‘‘low-revenue environment’’, a reflection of flat company tax receipts after the mining investment boom peaked. Her speech raises the possibility that years of accumulated concessions for upper middle-class and wealthy voters, handed out by successive governments and continued under Labor, may now be either trimmed or axed. This could include changes to family payments, cuts in concessional tax arrangements for selffunded superannuation contributions, a further tightening of the private health insurance rebate, a decrease in the 50 per cent capital gains tax discount, and a clampdown on loopholes such as the exemption from fringe benefits tax for employees of churches and charities. The potentially risky strategy is consistent with Ms Gillard’s conviction that Labor’s best hopes for victory lie in reconnecting with its traditional heartland, even if that means alienating some comparatively

plainly about Mr Curtis’s involvement in receiving inside information, then trading in a financial product called contracts for difference. ‘‘[Hartman] communicated this inside information for the purpose of Mr Curtis using the information to acquire and thereafter dispose of ... CFDs [contracts for difference],’’ Justice McClellan wrote.

Street sees double as school year beckons Amy McNeilage EDUCATION ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

THE residents of a cul-de-sac in Engadine say locals are afraid to move into their quaint 22-house street in Sydney’s south. ‘‘They are scared they’ll have twins,’’ jokes Renae Kidd, the mother of identical eight-year-olds, Zane and Taj. The street is home to six sets of twins, five of whom are school aged and are returning to school on Wednesday, along with most of the state’s 750,000 public school students. ‘‘Everyone always asks what’s in the water,’’ said Deb Kimber, who is the mother of seven-year-old girls Diaz and Brinley. ‘‘We make jokes about being close to the reactor.’’ Ms Kimber, whose daughters attend Engadine West Public School, said what excited her about the girls going back to school was finding out who their teacher was going to be. One year she put in a special request because one of her children had a health condition, and there was a particular teacher she knew to be understanding. And she knows of other parents who have approached the school with concerns. ‘‘I think quite a lot of people write letters,’’ she said. ‘‘But I think we are pretty lucky at our school.’’ For students and parents hoping for their favourite teacher, there is the occasional disappointment. ‘‘There’s always that teacher you really hope that your child gets,’’ said a spokeswoman for the Federation of Parents and Citizens’ Associations of NSW, Rachael Sowden. ‘‘That’s not to say one teacher is better than another teacher but sometimes a particular type of teacher might work better with a particular type of child.’’ If a parent was uncomfortable, she said, it was important they communicated their concerns to the school. ‘‘We say, to both schools and parents, transparency is best.’’

well-off families. With the government still reeling from its backdown on delivering a budget surplus, Ms Gillard’s language reveals a preference to get the bad news out early. That would clear the way for it to focus on its national disability insurance scheme and the Gonski education reforms, both premised on a budget that is coming back into balance. ‘‘In the lead-up to, and in the budget, we will announce substantial new structural savings that will maintain the sustainability of the budget and make room for key Labor priorities,’’ she will say. While no specific payments or programs have been publicly earmarked, the Prime Minister wants voters to understand the government’s logic for making painful efficiencies. ‘‘Our record of cutting wasteful programs, in line with our Labor values and purpose, is already strong,’’ she will say, listing previous cuts despite their unpopularity with voters. ‘‘The dependent spouse tax offset, the tax breaks for golden handshakes, tax concessions on super for high-income earners, the millionaires’ dental scheme and fringe benefits loopholes for executives living away from home . . . all gone,’’ she will say. ‘‘We will make the tough, necessary decisions to ensure our medium-term fiscal strategy is delivered, and our centrepiece plans for Australian children and Australians with disability are funded,’’ Ms Gillard will say.

Editorial

Tony Abbott has time to prove he is a leader – but is it enough? Page 10

Opinion Something in the water? Zane and Taj Kidd with, from left, Ava and Chynna Hardy, Diaz and Brinley Kimber, Sarah and Lucy Shepherd, and Thomas and Lilly Shepherd – five of the six sets of twins who live in the same street in Engadine. Photo: Janie Barrett

Nexus between school life and mental illness sets course for later life. Page 11

Winning a snap

Fresh air comes at a price

New arms for ex-soldier

Care problems linked to deaths

 News – Page 3

 World – Page 7

 World – Page 7

 News – Page 3

Pamela Ablaza’s winning photo, Cooling off on Cockatoo Island, in the SMH Summer iPhoneography Challenge was intended for the family album. ‘‘I thought that afternoon had a really nice light and I took a couple of snaps. It wasn’t meant for anything but our own collection,’’ she said.

A Chinese entrepreneur is selling fresh air in soft drink cans, similar to bottled drinking water, as north China is once again choking in toxic smog.The concentration of airborne PM 2.5 particulates went off the chart for the second time this month, according to a pollution gauge at the US embassy in Beijing. Chen Guangbiao sells his cans of air for five yuan each. They come in atmospheric flavours including pristine Tibet, postindustrial Taiwan and revolutionary Yan’an.

A former US Army soldier who became a quadruple amputee after surviving an explosion in Iraq three years ago, has undergone a rare double arm transplant in the US. Brendan Marrocco, 26, was the first service member from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to survive the loss of four limbs.

A quarter of all surgical patient deaths involve potential problems with care that could or should have been provided differently, a national audit has found. And one in every 20 deaths led to criticism of the care given. In about 1 per cent of cases, the clinical problems were found to have probably caused the person’s death. The audit’s chairman said the potential problems were those where it might have been possible to tackle the issue differently.

The Sydney skyline seen from Tempe at noon on Tuesday. Photo: Tamara Dean

Needing 8 hours a night may be a dream Amy Corderoy HEALTH EDITOR ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

SLAVISH adherents to the eighthours-a-night sleep rule can relax. Research suggests we all have our own sleep patterns that change according to how much shut-eye we get. For the first time a team from the University of Sydney has tracked people’s nightly patterns and found sleep naturally increases and decreases throughout a week. “The body seems to have a way of adjusting the amount of sleep we require,” said the study leader, Chin Moi Chow. ‘‘If you incur a sleep debt, your body will signal a need to catch up on extra sleep.’’ Her study found each person had a different sleep cycle, with some taking only a couple of days to catch up, and others taking up to 18 days. Unlike some previous research, she did not find the participants made up for lost sleep on the weekend. Rather, the 13 young men, whose sleep was measured over a two-week period using a device worn on their arms, made up the sleep at dif-

‘People are not very good at judging the amount they need.’ Shantha Rajaratnam, Australasian Sleep Association ferent times, getting up to two hours more sleep on some nights than others. This suggested the timing of individual cycles was intrinsic, rather than something each person chose, she wrote in the journal Nature and Science of Sleep. The president of the Australasian Sleep Association, Shantha Rajaratnam, said the study suggested the body had a mechanism for dealing with the amount of sleep we had. “Over time, it is like you are withdrawing money from the bank, you build up a debt, but eventually you have to pay back that debt. And after that you can start withdrawing again,” he said. But he said it would be “dangerous” for people to assume they no longer needed eight hours’ sleep each night. “Different people need different amounts of sleep but people are not very good at judging the amount of sleep they actually need,” he said. “People who think they can get by with very short amounts of sleep tend to compensate for their tiredness by using things like coffee, for example, to keep them alert”. Dr Chow hopes to repeat the research in a larger group, and analyse whether individual patterns match problems linked to sleep deprivation.

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BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

WHO’S YOUR

DADDY?


ISSUE 01 FEATURE

29

“HE WAS REALLY TOUCHY FEELY. IT WAS REALLY AWKWARD. I WANTED TO THROW UP AFTERWARDS.”

DIANA PHAM DOESN’T WANT TO SIT ON YOUR LAP UNLESS YOU’RE SANTA.

Y

oung, confident and university-educated women are using modern technology to live old-fashioned lives subordinating to older, moneyed men and literally capitalising on feminism’s gains in the process. An online dating culture of sugar babies and sugar daddies is slowly edging its way into the mainstream, establishing ‘relationships’ summed up by three F’s: Friendship, Finance and Fucking.

Seekingarrangement.com is an infamous e-pimping website that has been featured on daytime US talk shows like Dr Phil and The Today Show. Founded in 2006 by Brandon Wade, an ex-Microsoft consultant, the site has over 600,000 registered members, with a ratio of roughly ten sugar babies to every sugar daddy. The site has attracted notoriety since its inception, especially over its frank assertion that money rather than love is the currency of modern relationships. It hooks up rich older men with attractive young women. You can see the disparity even from the profile images chosen by the users. The younger women are often rendered through iPhone

Instragram filters while the older men are dimly pictured in the grainy, low-res images from the pre-smartphone era. Sugar daddies list their incomes prominently, and often sugar babies list their prices (“expect $5,000 to $10,000 monthly”). Everyone sums up their expectations ranging from entrepeneurial faux-romance to the downright dirty. According to the site’s own data, the median age of the sugar daddies is 38 and their average income per year is from $100,000 to $200,000. And the sugar babies? They might not be who you think they are – 80% of women with profiles are university educated, or at least in the process of getting a degree. Eighteen year-old Jessica* is one of them. A first year Arts student at the University of New South Wales who became a sugar baby after she completed her HSC in 2012. Jessica has a minor disability that she feels hinders the prospect of her getting a “proper” job, so she decided to give sugaring a go after reading countless blogs run by anonymous sugar babies on Tumblr (search Tumblr tag #sugar baby). “I can’t get a retail job because it’s a real confidence issue at the moment, especially because of my [disability],” she says. Her asking price is $500 weekly, and $750 “if it’s sexual”. At its worst, seekingarrangement.com is a grim perverted version of eBay, where buyers and sellers are both desperate for different reasons. Despite the focus on hooking up cashed-up older men with women still young enough to have Spice Girls paraphernalia, Singaporean-born CEO and founder Brandon Wade insists it’s all bonafide and perfectly legal. “The stereotypical notions of gold-digging women and lecherous old men just don’t apply anymore. This is not what we’re about. I believe this site is the future of modern dating,” he said in a recent interview with GQ. Jessica met her first sugar daddy, who goes under the pseudonym of George, in a small cafe almost five months ago. George is a balding man in his late 40s who runs his own small yet successful business, which he says earns him

around $100,000 to $200,000 annually. His estimated worth however, goes into the six zeros zone, which although not impressive by sugar daddy standards, is still good enough to clad any sugar baby in designer wear of her choice. Despite George arranging to pay Jess $500 for that meeting, he shortchanged her and opted for $200 instead. Jess dropped him after that date after finding that his mind was set on one thing: “sex, sex, sex”. “He was really touchy feely. It was really awkward. I wanted to throw up afterwards,” she says. George became a sugar daddy over a year ago after feeling like he couldn’t compete with younger and often better looking men on conventional dating sites like RSVP. “One thing I have to say is that I get more responses – especially someone my age on seekingarrangement.com – than if I had approached a girl on RSVP who was in her 20s. I’m in my 40s, and she really wouldn’t bother with me,” he says. Despite recognising that it’s money rather than looks or personality that’s his greatest selling point, George believes that younger women generally want older and mature men who can pamper them, unlike some “broke kid” that’s their own age. “Sometimes you meet with sugar babies and go on dates with them or have sex with them and it’s nice. I treat the situation like I’m their rich boyfriend who can take care of them financially,” he says. “A couple of them told me that it’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t a 20 something that doesn’t get drunk every weekend and that they enjoy talking to a mature and relatively fun person,” he says. Seekingarrangement.com agrees with George, claiming that matching older men and younger women is the natural order of things, where the resourcefulness of older men have made them the fittest and most desirable of those who survive. The site’s FAQ goes into manifesto mode: “Anthropologists will tell you that these tendencies are ingrained in our genes. It is only human instinct to be attracted


30

BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

to beauty, as it is to be attracted to wealth and power,” it says. Jess argues that sugar daddies are only as attractive as their bank accounts, and once exhausted, are disposable. The depressing reality is that, sugar daddies like George are “pretty much paying younger prettier girls to talk to him because he’s lonely” says Jess. According to Australian feminist legend, Eva Cox, mutual exploitation encapsulates the nature of the sugar baby and sugar daddy relationship. Surprisingly for someone who has made her career speaking out against these kind of power imbalances, she isn’t as perturbed by the situation as you might assume. “They’re not doing anything different apart from the fact that it’s online and it’s more obvious. I mean young women at a particular time have picked up blokes who have wanted to take them to dinner and buy them stuff. In sugar baby and sugar daddy relationships it’s just more blatant than it has been in the past,” she says. Although Cox thinks sugaring is “crappy” she is reluctant to act indignant about the situation, arguing that women should not be held accountable to annoyingly traditional ideas of restrained feminine sexuality. “Women stand on a spectrum of good and bad. If you’re a woman, it doesn’t mean that you have to be socially responsible or boring. “Feminism has to be broad enough to recognise that if you offer people choices, some people make the wrong choices. So I’m not prepared to go on a high horse and say that this is disgusting, because it has always been so,” she says. Cox’s sentiments aren’t so different from what the sugar babies say about themselves. 28 year-old K*, who runs a popular sugar baby blog on Tumblr called ‘Australian Sugar’, says choosing to use her sexual appeal for her own personal gain is empowering, quoting a popular Sex and the City phrase.

“SOMETIMES YOU MEET WITH SUGAR BABIES AND GO ON DATES WITH THEM OR HAVE SEX WITH THEM AND IT’S NICE. I TREAT THE SITUATION LIKE I'M THEIR RICH BOYFRIEND WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM FINANCIALLY.”

“I’m a huge Sex and the City fan and as Samantha once put it: ‘Sex is power. Money is power. Sex for money is just an exchanging of power.’ I live by this premise in my sugaring life,” she says. K uses her blog to document her experiences as a sugar baby and says the best experiences include receiving gifts like iPads and generous monetary allowances. However, K also uses her blog to warn other girls away from shady sugar daddy characters she’s met online and offline. Her worst experiences include receiving lewd emails from men posing as sugar daddies who are looking for No Strings Attached (NSA) Sex – code word for escorting – which is strictly against sugar dating policy. For example, John is a 32 year-old man with a sugar daddy account on seekingarrangement.com. In a private email, he says that he’s specifically looking for NSA with “friendly ladies in the 18-35 age bracket” which can involve “acting things out from pornos” such as “swallow, cream pie and perhaps anal if both parties were comfortable”. John is a ‘pay for play’ sugar daddy – someone who’s looking for transactional sex and only pays on a per meet basis. However, seekingarrangement. com’s CEO Brandon Wade says ‘pay for play’ sex breaches the site’s terms and conditions. In response to a question on Facebook, Wade replied: “Pay for play arrangements are not in the spirit of our website, and is in fact against our terms of use and policy. If a SD asks for ‘pay for play’ and is reported, he will be given one warning and if he fails to comply, his account will be deleted.”

ULTIMATE SUGAR DADDY HUGH HEFNER TIED THE KNOT WITH CRYSTAL HARRIS ON NYE 2012. THE PAIR SHARES A 60-YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE. IMAGE: COMPLEX.COM

Despite seekingarrangement.com threats to delete accounts that are suspicious, M* a high class working girl who runs her own escort company insists that sugar babies are out of their depths in sex work, saying that they lack the professionalism and precautions to diffuse dangerous scenarios that can easily pop up. “Sugar babies are amateurs. They don’t have the safety training to protect them from what we call ‘Ugly Mugs’. They have a grooming thing where they can be very manipulative to get what they want and I believe some sugar babies would be out of their depths with a guy who has been around the block a hundred times. A private escort will always screen their clients first,” says M. However, feminism is about making personal decisions whether it’s unsavory or not says, Cox. Whatever the choices are she insists that women “need to have a strong understanding of their rights and capacity to use the law and not be exploited.” *names changed to protect identity


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JOHN ROWLEY SPILLS THE TEA ON CULTURAL APPROPRIATION.

I

f you think that Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce or Tyra Banks’ feisty callouts are an extension of their strong personalities, you’ll be surprised to learn that New York’s underground, drag-based Ballroom (or ‘Ball’) subculture is the real inspiration.


ISSUE 01 FEATURE

The [Ball] community is characterised by external prejudice and internal struggle. Members are often involved in sex work, drugs and alcohol abuse, and subjected to bigotry.

Balls see GLBT New Yorkers strut their stuff in elaborately-crafted stage shows that mix drag, couture and dance. Participants hope to win trophies and secure praise for their ‘realness’. Since the 80s, the styles, sounds and symbols born from Balls have been referenced by a plethora of musicians and performers – with little tangible benefit to the community itself. Balls play host to a type of dancing queen worlds away from ABBA. African American and Hispanic members of New York’s GLBT community have dominated Ball for decades. The community is characterised by external prejudice and internal struggle. Members are often involved in sex work, drugs and alcohol abuse, and subjected to bigotry. Some have been abandoned by their families due to their sexual orientation whilst others have endured poverty or mistreatment at home. Participants in Ball find shelter in ‘houses’, which are sub-groups led by a senior Ball individual. With evocative names like Xtravaganza, LaBeija and Legacy International, these houses nurture and develop talented youngsters (‘Ball children’) to become legends of the scene. They also serve as surrogate families, providing the acceptance and support that participants’ relations often fail to provide. Ball culture provides community members an opportunity to forget their daily struggles, emulating the wealth and ease they see in society’s elites but have little hope of attaining themselves. Ironically, a segment of those elites – namely celebrities – have gained prosperity by taking influence from Ball. Madonna, Beyoncé, Scissor Sisters and Azealia Banks have all appropriated aspects of Ball in their music and performances, including stage outfits, poses and lyrics. While the music industry generates revenue from its appropriations of this culture, the collective rarely enjoys the spoils of its labour. There are not only financial implications, but cultural ones too. Ball veteran Lee Soulja and Father of the House of Khan, Luna Khan, believe that when the sub-culture is appropriated by the mainstream, “a lot of people still don’t know where it came [sic] from”. The Ball community strongly believes

that society should be aware of when Ball is being referenced, and what it actually entails – poverty and fantasy in equal measure. Acknowledgement is a tenuous issue. Beyoncé has professed to take inspiration for her alter ego Sasha Fierce from the cutthroat performance style of New York drag queens. She has described Fierce as “the more aggressive, more glamorous side that comes out when I’m on the stage”. Like Ball participants, Beyoncé uses the persona to project an exaggerated image separate from reality. Knowles is everything that members of the Ball community wish to be – rich, powerful and celebrated. However, her name-checking of Ball has not transferred any of those attributes onto the community. Despite the high-profile nature of Ball culture knock-offs, actual members of the group rarely shake their low socio-economic status or anonymity. Occasionally, individuals

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break into the spotlight. Madonna’s 1990 single ‘Vogue’ took its name and synonymous head-framing dance from the Ball circuit. Madge briefly provided some fame and financial advantage for two Ballroom dancers she recruited for the song’s promotion. Azealia Banks employed similar methods with her track ‘Fierce’, inviting a husky New York drag queen to recall his memories of 1980s Balls over a percussive house beat. But even these concessions are relatively basic. They are concerned with glamour and luxury, rather than the daily life or identity of Ball participants. Members of the community celebrate their sexuality, physicality and race to a supportive – albeit limited – audience at Balls. Many wish for fame so as to further broadcast their sexual identities, and improve their quality of life. Some argue that appropriations of Ball promote GLBT culture positively to a larger audience. Others, however, believe that the actions of Madonna et al are tantamount to pillaging. According to DJ Johnny Dynell, Madonna was (and is) seen by Ball participants “as a thief who was exploiting them and making money from their scene”, without verbally paying credit to it. It is also argued that by melding Ball culture to fit the demands of popular audiences, artists patronise the collective. They present a onedimensional, simplistic version of a group that is as tragic as it is joyful, relying on aspects of the culture that are easily digestible. One avenue of this superficial referencing is the bespoke terminology that has gradually emerged from the Ball circuit. Phrases like ‘throwing shade’ and ‘spilling tea’ codify Ball culture, and distinguish it from broader society. They also provide a selling point for pop songs, PARIS IS BURNING, MIRAMAX 1990


34

BULL USUONLINE.COM FEATURE

LATEX BALL, NEW YORK NOTEBOOK.YEPOKAYEEBO.COM

setting a track apart from its chart competitors through wacky lyrics that convey nonsense and fun. A case in point is the Scissor Sisters’ ‘Let’s Have A Kiki’. The track’s title arouses curiosity, while its prim-and-proper rap verses are matched with a bizarre range of Ball culture phrases. Soulja and Khan claim that the track has left much of the Ball community feeling “like they are being ripped off”. “It’s cute that they are using Ballroom language, but why can’t they just simply add in a reference to its origin?” they ask. New Yorker and dance music performer Cherie Lily recognises the importance of crediting the Ball circuit. Her high-energy song ‘WERK’, which she describes as “a tribute to the scene”, draws heavily on Ball vocab: ‘gimme face’, ‘realness’ and ‘a legend never dies’ stutter over a pulsating electro beat. New York nightlife personalities appear in the ‘WERK’ video, making clear the influence that Ball culture has had on Lily’s music. “Without them, I wouldn’t have been able to express the vibe,” she says. Even when Ball culture is acknowledged (such as in the cases of Beyoncé and Cherie Lily), broader understanding of the community’s struggles is usually limited. Similar issues are at play closer to home. Aboriginal hip hop is not a high-profile genre for commercial radio listeners or chart devotees. Its influence on broader Australia hip hop, though, is considerable – and rarely acknowledged. Sydney-based rapper Munkimuk is renowned by his peers as the godfather of Aboriginal hip-hop. He believes that Australia’s flourishing hip hop circuit owes much of its success to the work of uncredited forbears. Recalling the scene’s early incarnations, Munkimuk describes “this little thing that only

these sorts of races [Aboriginal, Islander and Lebanese] were into” – a means of conveying personal experience, often closely tied to ethnicity and subjugation. A run-through of today’s best known Australian hip hop artists – Hilltop Hoods, 360, Drapht and Bliss N Eso – reveals a markedly different ethnic make-up. The Best of Aussie Hip Hop was released last year to celebrate the genre’s recent commercial successes but left Aboriginal hip hop off the track list. Such omissions will only widen the existing fissure between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal artists in terms of financial and cultural recognition. For years, the Australian accent was commercially detrimental to hip hop. According to Munkimuk, using one’s actual accent rather than a faux-American twang “was looked upon by mainstream music listeners as weird”. He believes that Aboriginal hip hop helped local acts become comfortable performing with their natural enunciation, ultimately producing a more distinctive national flavour. The influence of Aboriginal culture doesn’t end there. Wire MC’s track ‘It’s A Modern Day Corroboree’ infers a link between hip hop and traditional indigenous oral storytelling. Perhaps the narrative style that now underpins local hip hop owes its roots to this initial adaptation by the Aboriginal hip hop community. Although non-indigenous hip hop acts currently rule the commercial roost, Munkimuk thinks that Aboriginal rappers remain a source of uncredited inspiration. “Aussie hip-hop artists are right onto the indigenous scene,” he says. The stories of Aboriginal rappers are still being told, but seldom on a commercial stage. To an extent, the commonalities between Aboriginal and non-indigenous hip hop can be attributed to the nature of the genre. Rap

is, at its core, about overcoming adversity. The difficulty here, then, is that indigenous struggles aren’t being given the same voice as others. Likewise, Ball culture and pop music hold intrinsic commonalities. Both are based around the desire to forget one’s circumstances in favour of a world of glamour and status. More than any other factor, the transformative, escapist nature of pop helps explain why Azealia Banks raps about the glitz of Ball culture, rather than the prostitution and drug abuse that it’s so closely linked to. Some members of the Ballroom collective are happy to accept their lot, content in the knowledge that they have inspired popular movements. According to Johnny Dynell, the process of mainstream adaptation follows a familiar pattern. “Some people will make money from it, some will become famous but most will just fade away. It’s cultural Darwinism,” he says. Others will continue to fight for recognition, keen for the world to understand the source of its entertainment and the turmoil and trauma key to its development. The desires of this community are epitomised in the 1988 film Paris Is Burning, which exposes the shiny facade of Ballroom competitions and the sad circumstances that give rise to them. Drag queen Dorian Corey summarises the community’s position – past and present – when he says that “everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world”.

VOGUE-CABULARY AND HOW TO USE IT: Kiki: a party; a laugh; a gossiping session. Can be used as a verb – “we kiki-ed all night” Reading: verbally attacking an individual in a direct manner. “When he told you he preferred men with class, that was a read.” Realness: the ability to convincingly emulate an identity separate to one’s own. “You brought some Ariel realness for this Disney dress-up party, gorl.” Serving face: adopting a ‘fierce’ pose. “You served face on that runway.” Spilling tea: bringing to light a piece of salacious information. “What happened? You better spill the tea.” Throwing shade: pointing out someone’s flaws in an indirect manner. “He kept throwing shade about my outfit.”


ISSUE 01 FASHION

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FASHION Thrift Shopping KATIE DAVERN BOUGHT A BROKEN KEYBOARD.

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t doesn’t take a triple j Hottest 100 hit to tell us that fashion which smells like an interesting combination of mothballs and old people can be “fucking awesome”. Some of the best off-the-rack clothes can be found next to piles of mouldy belts and bric-à-brac oddities. And there’s no denying that a missing button, an itchy tag or a suspicious stain won’t deter the experienced thrift shopper from reveling in the euphoria of being a tight-ass (face it, there’s one in all of us). But you only need to take a glance at Vogue forums to realise thrift-shopping isn’t a new phenomenon. Even favourite online fashion stores have started virtual op-shops like ASOS Marketplace and Urban Renewal to win back customers of a secondhand, hipster persuasion. In celebration of Macklemore’s ‘Thrift Shop’ being declared top of the triple j hit list, we’re ‘thrifting’ this idea – like a “plaid button-up shirt” or “flannel zebra jammies”, it’s a classic.

AMANDA

MARRICKVILLE

CAMPSIE

MATI

ALEX

Top: Nike raglan style (hand-medowns from my brother) Jeans: Straight-legged Levis Shoes: Palladium boots Favourite thrift shop? I think it’s hard to have a favourite thrift shop because the quality of stock can be quite inconsistent. This is what makes the sport of op-shopping potentially thrilling, yet often a waste of time. Best thrift shop buy? It would have to be a fake Chanel mod mini dress I got from a 70s/80s themed op shop on King St, Newtown. It’s a tacky, loud marigold yellow with pink patterning. Who do you think it used to belong to?  I like to think the things I buy were exhumed from the grave of a high society woman. Best buy under $20? Would have to be a very fancy Christmas sweater with a couple of cats whose eyes light up. Wearing it, I hope to make like Bridget Jones and find my Mark Darcy – the light up cat eyes like a beacon calling my man home.

Sweater: Zara Shirt: We Rob Banks Jeans: Cheap Monday Shoes: Shubar Sunnies: From my local $2 shop Favourite thrift shop? Tough one, but I’d have to say a place called Pigeon Ground, tucked away in Camperdown. They stock great vintage records and books too which is awesome. Best thrift shop buy?  I bought this tan, cowboy-esque leather jacket from an op-shop in Newtown one time. It was a bit pricey but I was astonished at how perfectly it fitted. Who do you think it used to belong to?  It must have belonged to my long lost twin from the 70s. No other explanation. Best buy under $20? RM Williams boots I bought the other week. They’re one-size too small but I’m determined to cram my feet in there to stretch it out. Those boots cost around $300 in the shops so it’s worth the pain.

Shirt: St Vinnies Shorts: I’ve had these in my cupboard for years! Shoes: Target Bag: Sportsgirl Favourite thrift shop? Melbourne’s Retro Star, it is always the first and last place I go when I visit. Any money I have left after a trip is spent there. Best thrift shop buy?  My leopard print maxi dress. Who do you think it used to belong to?  I’d like to think someone glamorous with a great sense of style, but considering it is a leopard print maxi, probably a cougar who spends too much time at the local club and needs her roots touched up.  Best buy under $20? A Moschino shirt I picked up at Rozelle markets for $15, probably a bit too loud for my taste but definitely something I am happy to have hanging in my wardrobe to tempt me when I’m feeling brave.

REDFERN


36

BULL USUONLINE.COM SPORT

Not Too Pretty to Punch ADA LEE ENTERS THE RING.

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ab, breathe. Hook, breathe. Duck. Block. Uppercut, breathe. Oomph! The sudden shock as a gloved fist collides with her cheekbone. Whoa, hold up – her? That’s right. Women’s boxing is a thing now. Historically, female boxers have faced several opponents – in and out of the ring. But recently they have made great progress in punching through boxing culture’s glass ceiling. One of the most significant triumphs was the inclusion of women’s boxing in last year’s London Olympics. Nicola Adams, flyweight gold medallist, wrote in The Guardian that spectator enthusiasm should silence sceptics. “They have been cheering for us as much as the lads,” she wrote. Local female boxers have also seen victories with NSW ending a 22-year ban on women’s boxing in 2008. In 2011, Sydney Uni Boxing Club (SUBxC) hosted female fighters for the first time at its annual Intercollege and Interfaculty Fight Night. Laura Hanlon, a first

year MECO student at the time, observed wideeyed. As a long-term admirer of combat sports, Hanlon was inspired to take up amateur boxing. Twice a week, Hanlon and her fellow SUBxC athletes trained together in a one-hour, high-intensity workout. They’d face off against the punching bag, the trainers, and finally one another in a round robin sparring contest. Closer to the annual Fight Night, boxers raise the bar with an extra weekly session to prepare themselves physically and mentally. Fitness, discipline and focus are essential to winning. Though Hanlon has never been knocked out, she has been punched in the face comparing it to the shock of hitting your head on the car door. Hanlon was set to debut in last year’s Fight

HEALTH & FITNESS SNACKS

Bring in some almonds, fruit, yoghurt and water and you’ll never have to suffer.

AVOID ENERGY DRINKS & SOFT DRINK

It’s. A. Trap. Red Bull and the clan are packed with sugar and absurd quantities of caffeine. As for Diet Coke - zero calories doesn’t mean zero impact.Your body has to store the toxins somewhere. Instead try green tea, normal tea, coffee (maxing out at about 2 a day) and water. See filtered water taps all around campus.

VODKA LIME SODAS

People don’t drink VLS because they taste magical. They drink them because they are a low-cal, relatively disaster-free way of getting drunk. Steer clear of non-clear spirits (we’re looking at you, Baileys) and goon.

DODGING THE FRESHER FIVE TASH GILLEZEAU DRINKS ENOUGH WATER AND GETS ENOUGH SLEEP. If threats of the ‘Fresher Five’, or Dickensianstyle visions of students crammed in sharehouses surviving off pizza are enough to send shudders down your spine, fear not: some simple tips can make a huge difference to your health in your university years.

YOGA

Although yoga is the touchstone of hipsters everywhere, there are plenty of us practicing it non-ironically. Yoga is not as female-orientated as you might think. Guys who do yoga are ridiculously ripped, and the beauty of sweating it out for an hour means you have plenty of time to check them out.

YOU CAN’T EXERCISE AWAY A BAD DIET

“If I eat this chocolate bar, I’ll run on the treadmill for 60 minutes today instead of 30”

Night until her opponent pulled out with a shoulder injury. Because of SUBxC’s lack of female boxers, a replacement of matching height, weight and skill level could not be found for the disappointed Hanlon. Consequently, there were no female fights. This indicates a key problem in women’s boxing – low participation. Hanlon labelled the notion that women are ‘too pretty to punch’ as “complete rubbish”. She sees herself as a boxer in her own right. “Whether you’re male or female, it doesn’t matter. It’s more the merits of what you achieve. Don’t be like, ‘oh that’s really good for a girl.’” Visit facebook.com/SUBxC to find out more about female boxing.

– the reality is, if you don’t have a lot of time for exercise, it is more important than ever to maintain a healthy diet. Don’t use a good gym sesh as an excuse for a binge.

SLEEP

Try not to rack up a sleep debt thinking you can circumvent the issues caused by lack of sleep, i.e. sleeping five hours a night for five nights then sloggin out a solid sixteen on the weekend. This is never as good as a consistent 7-9 hours every night. Finally, people will try to guilt you into not adopting healthy habits by exclaiming “but YOLO”, thinking this versatile acronym trumps every bad idea with its infallible logic. There will always be people who will admonish you going to bed on time and not daytime-drinking, but there are those of us who want to bond over cups of tea and long walks on the beach whilst stroking one another’s obliques - just ignore the haters.

There are plenty of cheap-ish gyms available near university for every fitness level. Try the Darling Park Gym, Camperdown Fitness or the University’s own sport centre, which has group sessions, classes and its own climbing wall.


ISSUE 01 SCIENCE & TECH

SCIENCE & TECH It Actually IS Rocket Science ADAM CHALMERS BLASTS OFF ON THE ROCKET CLOCK.

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o matter how hard we try, nothing humanity ever does will ever be more memorable than the moon landing. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin inspired generation after generation to reach for the stars and push their limits. But these heroes would be nothing without the 66 years of rocket science research that made the moon landing possible.

Rocket science is the rock star of modern science. It’s flashy. It’s exciting. It’s cooler than an iceberg and twice as hard. No, make that ten times as hard. Rocket science is so difficult, it’s got its own cliché. But to many scientists and engineers, rocket science is just a job. Behind its intimidating reputation, what’s rocket science actually like? The aerospace industry is mostly based in America, Russia, China and Germany, with other countries looking to break into the game. Spaceflight, unlike many other industries, has a long history of government and private business co-operation. NASA and its equivalent agencies in Russia, Europe, Canada, China, India and Japan have produced many successful operations in co-operation with private companies. But the fledgling space tourism industry is changing this. Hundreds of newer, smaller companies like Virgin Galactic and SpaceX are sending people into space with minimal government support. In 2010 NASA announced they would no longer be transporting astronauts to and from the International Space Station – instead they’d be relying on private companies to do so. It seems the future of spaceflight lies in private industry. Where does this leave rocket science students hoping to get a job in the industry? Jack Umenberger, a freshly-graduated space mechatronics student, feels good about the future. “Big government agencies like NASA get complacent and inefficient, but smaller companies can compete more effectively and drive prices

down,” he says. As a recent graduate, Jack’s got an insider perspective on what makes rocket science and space engineering so hard. He says the practical, hands-on requirements are what make it so demanding. He says “unlike straight science, it’s about more than just getting an answer. It’s about spending hours in a lab, soldering and carving, until something works.” The difference between theoretical and practical study is huge. “In maths and physics, you’re trying to overcome your own lack of understanding. In engineering, you’re trying to overcome the way the world works – overcome plastic brittleness and electrical conductivity and bugged circuitry,” says Jack. For his honours project, Jack designed and built an autonomous (self-steering) aerial vehicle. “It’s basically a drone.You put in GPS co-ordinates and it’ll steer itself over there,” he says. The balloon-based vehicle (pictured) was nicknamed Skyhog “because JACK UMENBERGER'S I reckoned I’d finish my "SKYHOG" honours when pigs fly,” Jack says with a grin. But even after four years studying rocket science, Jack doesn’t feel close to prepared to study it in the real world. “There’s just so much more to learn!” he says. Despite that, Jack is looking forward to a future in either the aerospace industry or theoretical research. While rocket science remains intimidating, it’s just part of life for the millions of workers and researchers in the aerospace industry. Does it deserve its terrifying reputation? Maybe. Maybe not. After all, it’s not brain surgery.

Ctrl+Alt+Del EACH ISSUE WE BRING YOU THE TOP FIVE OF THE INTERNET.

This issue, our pick of click-happy canines:

1

Fenton. This black Labrador escaped from his distressed owner to chase a herd of deer through a park and across a road. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? It is. It is hilarious. See YouTube.

2

Yes, this is dog. The inspired image of anthropomorphic dog on phone comes from a 1984 Serbian film, though the meme itself didn’t emerge until 2011. We anticipate humorous parodies will continue to abound for many years.

3

Tyson the skateboarding bulldog. Sometimes I find it hard to like Tyson. He’s been on Oprah, he performs in films and dog food ads, and his YouTube videos feel so slick as to lose their charm. But then I remember that the dog can skateboard. For reals. And apparently he was selftaught.

4

Mama Mastiff. In 2010, a female chimpanzee abandoned her baby in a Russian zoo, so one of the zoo employees took the baby chimp home to care for it. Her pet dog adopted the little chimp as part of her litter and adorableness ensued.

5

Ermagherd dog. Classic.

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ISSUE 01 MY WEEK WITHOUT

MY WEEK WITHOUT

Multitasking

MELANIE PENNINGTON DOES ONE THING AT A TIME.

I

like to think I live an efficient life. I brush my teeth while gathering the essentials – phone, keys and wallet – before leaving the house. I rarely eat breakfast at home, preferring to eat two pieces of toast during the ten-minute drive to the train station. I cook and clean while watching whichever TV series I’m currently making my way through. If there’s a way to condense multiple tasks into one period of time, I’m your girl. It’s not that I can’t do one task at a time; I just don't think it’s efficient. But to test this lifestyle, I decided, with some trepidation, to renounce all forms of multitasking for an entire week.

THE DETOX

It was clear such a feat was unachievable without a number of physical boundaries. Firstly, I turned off my iPad. Not locked it and left it, but actually held down that top button and slid that little red arrow of death to the right. Secondly, I scheduled in times during my day for nonessential (ie. not boss, parents or marked urgent) emailing, text-messaging and social media. Thirdly, each night I left my MacBook and iPhone further than the longest possible reaching distance from my bed. For one week my bed was for sleeping only.

THE BUZZER

The early days were like living with a Taboo buzzer hovering beside my ear. Sit to eat breakfast and reach for the newspaper. BZZT. Click to read the new email as soon as it appears. BZZT. Reading a blog post then reach for Command + T for a new tab. BZZT. Pick up my iPhone to Google whatever curiosity entered my brain. BZZT. It quickly became obvious that I rarely do any task in isolation and at times, enforcing mono-tasking became a task in itself.

THE SHOCK

It was during the weekly car trip home from church that realisation hit. While driving, I asked my sister and her boyfriend a question. Silence. I looked in the rear vision mirror and saw them completely removed from each other. Their attention was diverted by the little screens in their hands. I must confess that I have been guilty of replying to emails or quickly scrolling Facebook on this same trip when one of them was driving. I vowed to be present with others for the remainder of the week. No talking and walking, no casual phone sitting only a hand reach away on the café table, and hence no need for that irksome apology, “sorry, I just have to take this”.

THE SERENITY

Day Four was a glorious day. The sun streamed into the dining room as I sat down with my bowl of Sultana Bran watching the pigeons flirt on the fence. Finishing, I decided finally to tackle a summer research project. It was a conscious effort to restrain from scrolling Pinterest for inspiration for my non-existent house and wedding, but my (often excruciating) persistence to remain focused saw me finish much faster than I anticipated. The surprise finish left time to watch a whole disc of The West Wing - uninterrupted!

THE HOPE

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My week without multitasking was a moment of self-assessment. Completing a task without switching to another brought an overwhelming sense of achievement. The silence of an uncluttered mind made me appreciate the ability to get lost in my thoughts. And after a few days of being fully present in all conversations I realised how quickly I normally disengage from others. But in all honesty, despite many lessons, my week without multitasking was just a bit, well, slow. My multitasking habits might not make me as mindful as I would be if I only did one thing at a time, but they do allow for optimal efficiency in everything. I maintain my refusal to look at myself in the mirror for two minutes while brushing my teeth. I will continue to sneakily reply to text messages while in the toilet cubicle (admit it, you do it too). But maybe, in this final year of uni, I’ll succeed in writing that essay or sitting through an entire lecture knowing that refresh will bring only another photo of my organic salad on Instagram.


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BULL USUONLINE.COM REVIEWS

REVIEWS ALBUM HOTTEST 100 VOLUME 20 TRIPLE J

TV SERIES GIRLS – SEASON 2 LENA DUNHAM

This was the twentieth year of triple j’s Hottest 100, and as we were reminded by its presenters, the biggest year yet (1.5 million votes were cast: either triple j got their maths wrong, or somewhere in Australia there are a million hipsters holed up with laptops). Despite its increasing popularity, the Hottest 100 resists tacking towards the mainstream. Rihanna, Adele, Gaga, Psy – all absent from triple j’s 2012. The 2012 countdown was marked by the emergence and success of new artists such as Macklemore (whose ‘Thrift Shop’ came in at number 1), Frank Ocean and Of Monsters and Men. And it was tarnished, as usual, by the remarkable tenacity of Aussie hip-hop. It was no 2010 (how could it be without The National, the Jezabels, Little Red or Crystal Castles?), but class of 2012, you’re alright.

In the opening scene of the second season of HBO’s Girls, Hannah (played by Lena Dunham, who also writes and directs the series) is spooned by her gay roommate, Elijah, who says “I’m sorry I have a boner, it’s not for you”. The episode finishes with Elijah fucking Hannah’s best friend for what he later describes as “three pumps, maybe two and a half”, before jacking himself off and then giving up, complaining that she was rolling her eyes. Girls has received critical acclaim for its unflattering realism, its uncomfortable depiction of life as a twenty-something year old. Bad sex, dead-end jobs (or, more often, exploitative internships) and bewildered, unsure ids. It is the anti-Sex and the City. Lena Dunham has been celebrated as the voice of her generation. True or not, this is honest, well-written, excruciatingly funny television.

DECLAN KARPOUSIS

*****

SHOULDA BEEN THERE

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY WITH THE SYDNEY SYMPHONY SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE, SYDNEY FESTIVAL

JORGÈ NEVÀS

*****

Everyone has seen 2001 A Space Odyssey. If you haven’t seen it you probably should, it’s quite good. Seeing it on a big screen with a live Symphony Orchestra is possibly even better. The Orchestra and Choir were – to their credit – almost invisible. Bones flew in perfect unison with Thus Spake Zarathustra. Spaceships docked and

BOOK THE AUSTRALIAN MOMENT: HOW WE WERE MADE FOR THESE TIMES GEORGE MEGALOGENIS

Political commentator Annabel Crabb describes Megalogenis as “Australia’s best explainer” and this book – a political-economic account of Australia’s last 40 years – is a seminal piece of evidence for Crabb’s claim. Megalogenis simplifies the economics of this time period, with a recognition of the correlating politics, to explain how Australia has reached great prosperity. The book features interviews with former Prime Ministers Fraser, Hawke, Keating, Howard and Rudd and there is extensive reference to Treasury and Cabinet documents and discussions. While Megalogenis’ work is historical, his goal is to leave a moral message for Australia today. He calls for leaders to be inspired by their predecessors and adopt a rational reform agenda: a theme that both laces together and concludes this Walkley awardwinning book.

FABIAN DI LIZIA

*****

people moved in perfect synchronicity with The Blue Danube Waltz. Rather than steal the spotlight, they emphasised the quality of Kubrick’s revolutionary cinematography, bringing it to life with more intimacy than audible on the soundtrack of the clips I have since watched on YouTube.

FICTION BRINGING UP THE BODIES HILARY MANTEL

Scooping up a second Booker for her latest instalment, Bringing Up the Bodies, Mantel has left literary critics buffing their monocles in amazement. The uproar is deserved. Under Mantel’s masterful hand, her characters escape the wooden feel of history. Tudor brutality is navigated with a haunting, familiar humanity that brushes aside the dry husks of centuries. In this sequel to the celebrated Wolf Hall, Cromwell’s reformist fervour has faded further. His pragmatism and prudence have cemented considerable wealth and power, and he pursues his King’s demands with a ruthlessness that further swells the ranks of his enemies. Though intricate historical detail still embroiders the work, this time, Mantel is tighter and sparser. The novel surges forward, stripped to its essence and compulsively throws itself at a chilling conclusion.

LUCY CONNELL

*****

The film retains the ability to inspire discussion of the destructive nature of sentience and (increasingly relevant) man’s relationship with technology; a foyer full of chattering Kubrick nuts only served to re-enforce this point.

SEAN O’GRADY

***


ISSUE 01 REVIEWS

FILM

Django Unchained Quentin Tarantino

CLASSIC COUNTDOWN Pick-up Lines DIANA PHAM CHATS YOU UP.

5

ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? [NO, WHY?] BECAUSE YOU’RE THE ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS.

Approach this line with caution.You might find yourself in an awkward situation if the answer comes back “yes I am religious – here’s a pamphlet”. That’s how people wind up in the EU, frustrated and celibate.

In one of the most controversial films of the last decade, Django (Jamie Foxx) is a freed slave turned revenge-seeking bounty hunter. He plays the cowboy in this western genre-bender, and the story revolves – sometimes waywardly – around the liberation of his wife from Calvin Candie’s (Leonardo DiCaprio) plantation. The acting is superb, particularly from DiCaprio, whose portrayal of the sadistic slave owner Candie reaches such virtuoso heights that in his character’s defining verbal rampage, DiCaprio tore his hand open on a glass and didn’t stop raving – and this was the cut Tarantino used in the film. The film has been denounced by various civil rights groups as racist. Spike Lee refused to see it, calling it “disrespectful of my ancestors”. Admittedly, the n-word is thrown around gratuitously (110 times), so much that the word loses its power to shock. But to stop there and allow sensitivity to take over is to miss the bold gambits of Django. Tarantino inverts the racist histories and characters of Hollywood’s usual image of slavery: powerless slaves unable or unwilling to resist their folksy, goodnatured owners. Samuel L Jackson’s performance as the tyrannical, perceptive Stephen is a brilliant rejoinder to the picture of the Uncle Tom house slave. Tarantino’s garrulousness continues in Django. His love for the farcical argument was first seen in Reservoir Dogs’ tipping scene – should we tip? In Django, the white hoods of the Ku Klux Klan are sent up in a scene that could be straight out of Monty Python’s And Now For Something Completely Different. “I can’t see fucking shit in this!”, complains one Klan member, initiating a barrage of criticism of the size of the eye-holes, to which another masked racist responds, wounded, “I’m going home, I’ve watched my wife work all day to get thirty bags together for you ungrateful sons of bitches”. Tarantino’s renowned visceral brutality is also present. At a time when filmmakers seem locked in a contest to make the most violent blockbuster, to shock audiences, entertain them, delight them with tragedy and graphics, Tarantino fights against the increasingly banality of movie violence. He finds ways to protect the novelty and horror of physical cruelty. Red splashed on white is Django’s recurring image: blood on white flowers, horses, faces, walls. A slave owner whipping his female property, a more lethal form of MMA fighting known as Mandingo fighting, a black slave being ripped apart by dogs as white slave-owners chuckle with gruesome delight – these horrors are part of the sadism of slavery and Tarantino is right to show them.

FELIX DONOVAN

*****

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DO YOU HAVE A MIRROR IN YOUR POCKET? ‘CAUSE I CAN SEE MYSELF IN YOUR PANTS.

An old favourite that’s ancient enough that your parents probably used it to pick each other up. Now the mirror just reflects their shattered dreams. I bet you’re sorry you asked.

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ONE NIGHT WITH ME AND THEY’LL BE CALLING YOU MOANING MYRTLE.

A line with aphrodisiac qualities so strong that the Vietnamese have shot it and turned it into soup. Now JK Rowling is asking for royalties. Granted, the line should only be used sparingly unless you accidentally run it past a Twihard or a Fifty Shades of Grey fan. Other than that, it’s a message that would open anyone’s Chamber of Secrets.

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I AM PICASSO.

Picasso used this line to pick up his seventeen year-old mistress MarieTherese Walter in 1932. In 2006, a painting of Walter was going to be sold for $139 million…until the owner put a hole in it. (Yeah he did).

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YOU’VE HAD A TERRIBLE FALL ‘CAUSE I CAN TELL YOU FELL STRAIGHT OUT OF HEAVEN, ANGEL.

If someone has had a terrible fall, don’t try and pick them up. Especially not by saying “the second number you should call after 000 is mine” or “I can see the bone…if you know what I mean”.

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BULL USUONLINE.COM CAUGHT ON CAMPUS SUMS LOVES MATHS AND COOL SHIRTS SYDNEY UNI ROLLER DERBY LEAGUE

KENDO CLUB DEMO AT INFO DAY 2013

CREATIVE ANACHRONISTS - MAKING THE PAST COOL COSTUME SOCIETY

BEST OF CLUBS AND SOCS 2012

A

new year means a whole bunch of new clubs and societies to look forward to. Before we launch into 2013 with our much-loved clubs and societies program, let’s celebrate some of the best moments of 2012 with our favourite pics.

CAUGHT ON CAMPUS IMAGES TAKEN BY JEREMY YAO, ROB JONES, PHILLIPA BOLTON & GREGORY SING

DANCEFLOOR AT C&S AWARDS NIGHT

KNITSOC DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST

SHADES CHRISTMAS PARTY

SURFSOC AT C&S AWARDS NIGHT

SURFSOC'S VICE PRESIDENT IN RED SPEEDOS THE EXCLUSIVE CHINESE LAW STUDENT SOCIETY


ISSUE 01 CLUB HUB

CLUB HUB Digging Around

Along with SUSS, there’s a bunch of clubs which cater for people who want more than just boring old soccer, netball or jogging for

exercise. Whether you’re after a polite chat, elevated street cred or just have a lot of feelings, one of these societies is sure to float your boat.

SYDNEY UNIVERSITY CROQUET CLUB

For those who enjoy Pimms, finger food, civilised conversation and hitting small balls with wooden mallets through little hoop things, croquet is as good as it gets. This sport is equal parts fancy, wanky and downright awesome, and nobody plays it better than the Sydney Uni Croquet Club. Games are held each week all around campus and often end with a big ole’ BBQ – after all, nothing says sophisticated like snags and sauce.

GEORGIA KRIZ GETS BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE.

S

ydney University Speleological Society (SUSS): Let’s be honest – exercise is so mainstream these days. It seems like everyone you meet is a Zumba instructor with a platinum gym membership who lives in yoga pants, alternates between eight different pairs of runners, and supplements all meals with suspiciously coloured protein shakes. For the few remaining individuals amongst us, it’s time to break away from this writhing mass of oppressively dull and stale sameness and source our exercise elsewhere. It’s time to turn our backs on the world of Nike-clad, calorie-counting, weight-wielding plebeians and forge our own path, beat our own drum and sweat to a different tune. SUSS is about as indie as exercise gets. The 70-odd members of SUSS are literally part of an underground exercise movement – these guys are cavers. Bats, rats, fossils and stalactites are all part of their regular workout, as they scramble, climb, abseil, swim and map their way through Australia’s hidden world of holes, caverns and caves. The super-involved SUSS executive ensure that there are always plenty of opportunities to get decked out in helmets and harnesses and get some alternative exercise. SUSS runs caving trips to popular (and difficult to pronounce) destinations such as Jenolan, Wombeyan, Bungonia and Yarrangobilly nearly every weekend of the year, and members also venture further afield to explore caves in Queensland, the Northern Territory and Tasmania. The burning desire to frolic in the dark depths has even led some hardcore members on

ALTERNATIVE EXERCISE

expeditions as far away as New Zealand. For those who aren’t so keen on small, dark, wet spaces, SUSS also run social climbing and abseiling on campus. Dedicated canyoning and abseiling weekend trips are also on offer for those who prefer their climbing above ground. 2013 is a big year for SUSS. These guys have been sweating in confined spaces since 1948 and so are celebrating their 65th birthday this year. Celebrations will include the much-anticipated 'SUSS Reaches Retirement Age Birthday Party In A Cave' event, as well as the usual assortment of trips and adventures. For those who are keen on delving into the weird, wonderful and decidedly left of centre world of caving, you’ll be pleased to know that you don’t need prior abseiling/ canyoning/caving experience in order to join SUSS. If you’ve got a sense of adventure, a love of the outdoors, and no family history of paralysing claustrophobia, then SUSS wants you. So ditch the gyms, the diets, and the mundane and mainstream exercise world. A whole new way to get your heart pumping and your limbs moving is waiting. Get caving.

SURFSOC

If you’re into hanging ten, catching some rays and tie-dyeing anything you can get your hands on, say Aloha to SurfSoc. If they’re not at Hermann’s or Zanzibar partying it up, you can find them carving it up anywhere from Manly to the north coast. Keep an eye out for their annual Tie-Dye Day – hippie-chic has never looked so good.

UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY ROLLER DERBY SOCIETY

It’s fast, it’s furious and it can get pretty darn feisty. The Roller Derby Society burst into the Sydney Uni sporting scene in a big way last year, winning Best New Club and Best Club With Under 100 Members at the USU’s annual C&S Awards night. Both social and serious skates are on offer, where players can hone their sliding, tackling and slinging skills. When they’re not skating, the Derby crew can be found organising fundraising events and are also frequently spotted selling delicious baked goods on Eastern Avenue. The Roller Derby Society are holding their very first bout on 17 March 2013. Hells Belles and The Rolling Bones will battle it out in the Sydney Boys High gym. Doors open at 11:30am. Contact usydrollerderby@gmail.com for ticket information. The University of Sydney Union (USU) runs the Clubs & Societies program at the University of Sydney. With over 200 registered clubs and societies, there’s sure to be a group that interests you. Visit usuonline.com for more information.

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BULL USUONLINE.COM WHAT’S ON SHUTTER UP

ROOM N208 A lone chair waits under excessive signage pointing to the mysterious Room N208.

SHUTTER UP

PHOTOGRAPHER: ANGELA STREET [SONY CYBERSHOT DSC WX50]

SNAP!

Send us your unique, arty or just plain cool (as in, not another quad shot) campus snap to usubullmag@gmail.com. We’ll publish our faves each edition in full page glory. High-res, 300dpi jpegs only – portrait orientation.


ISSUE 01 STOP. PUZZLETIME

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STOP. PUZZLETIME CROSSWORD 1

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Sheet1

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Scavenger Hunt Mode: Solve 14, 20 and 23 without the Internet.

ACROSS

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01. One Direction are after drink in drinks for freshers (9) 05. To be better than a SHADES party? (5) 08. 9-Down’s overseeing body’s corrupt as teens (7) 09. Long essays around the start of uni for one who is a-maze-ing? (7) 10. McPhaul, the odd Shaft (5) 11. Worked out problems with end replaced (9) 12. Big-shot priest takes communion, finally? (6) 13. Very piano with minor change (5) 16. 0 in 0 for 0 people (2,3) 17. 6+6: a number for Sir Richards (6) 20. Superior tarsal muscle broadens your horizons? (3-6) 22. Towards the middle of three points, following me, right? (5) 23. What is taught in room 306 of the Old Teacher’s College? (7) 24. Worship lazy untruths, you say? (7) 25. 3-Down loses heart? That’s someone else (3,2) 26. Study butterfly, without Pole, to study ‘butterfly’ (9)

DOWN

01. Degree’s [sic] in the essentials (6) 02. Using E, become an intellectual (6) 03. Mentored a doctor at rival uni (5,4) 04. To the rear in each performance space on 9-Down’s main drag (7,6) 05. A first year 2014 years ago (3,2) 06. Religious twitch contains plunder (8) 07. See 9-Down 09. 7-Down. Where we are to study, if in every honesty, badly (3,10,2,6) 13. Someone from 3-Down… He rings a bell (9) 14. Extraordinary saner don founded 9, 7-Down Freethought Society (8) 15. Innovative is the first author (8) 18. In my mind, I go blue (6) 19. The Queen, in a creative vein? (6) 21. Vice-Chancellor loses his head for money (5) This year, BULL brings you cryptic crosswords from a Sydney University student, (Arts IV) known affectionately and pseudonymously as 'Ghoti'. Ghoti says hello, and that ‘BULL Magazine’ is an anagram of ‘I'm unglazable’. Any questions, comments, or complaints can be sent to ghoti.cryptic@gmail.com.

Page 1

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name, contact details and favourite Australian animal to usubullmag@gmail.com by Friday 15 March 2013.

This offer must be only used on a Sunday trip and must be taken up by Sunday 26 May 2013.

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BULL USUONLINE.COM BULL PEN

BULLSHIT A COLLECTION OF INANITIES AND INSANITIES, BECAUSE FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE DUMB TOO.

BERNARD GAYNOR

“When it comes to gay teachers or halal food, in the fullness of time society only has enough room for one of these systems.”

JUSTIN BIEBER

“I’m not sure about political parties, but whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”

LADY GAGA

“Equality is the prime rib of America, but I don’t get to enjoy the greatest cut of meat my country has to offer.”

ASK AUNTIE IRENE

SPOT OF BOTHER OR NEED SOME ADVICE? EMAIL AUNTY IRENE AT USUBULLMAG@GMAIL.COM

“IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I GET UP TO THE BIG GROUP OF BOYS IN THE TOP 10.” Bernard Tomic

RUSH LIMBAUGH “You know how to stop abortion? Require that each one occur with a gun.”

KRISTEN NEEL “I’m moving to Australia, because their president is a Christian and actually supports what he says.”

DONALD TRUMP “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

Dear Aunty Irene, I have a longstanding curiosity in brothels. It is not a prurient interest: the prospect of paying for sex doesn’t excite me. I’d just like to see the people who go to such a place, how the receptionist acts (is there even a receptionist?), how the operation works (does one pay before, or after?). However, I can’t imagine feeling anything but awkward actually being in a brothel. Help me out? - John Playing observer in a brothel is fraught. There’s a real risk of being seen as a poor voyeur; a visitor who watches rather than a customer who pays. That guy is unlikely to be welcomed. So here’s what to do: go to an expensive joint, order a drink and look around. Be careful who you direct your questions to, and look the other way when a state politician passes you by. Don’t ask to go the bathroom – you don’t want to be mistaken for being coy. Tip, and leave. But if it is just the sociology of paid sexual experiences that fascinates you, there are easier

LANCE ARMSTRONG

“I have never doped. When I peed in that bottle – after not taking performance enhancing drugs – there wasn’t EPO in it. No way. What am I on? I’m on my bike.”

ways. I’d suggest going to a massage parlour that advertises a ‘full body’ service.You can watch the old sleazy bloated guys smirk out of their cubicles, covered in massage oil and who knows what else, thinking they know something dirty that nobody else knows.You can watch them pay and carefully, theatrically, patronisingly, tip something that would be generous anywhere else except in that place. Or, you could just try it yourself (how else are you going to find out when to pay?). As my daughter says: YOLO. Dear Aunty Irene, I begin university this year and I’m still a subscriber to Dolly magazine. It’s become a guilty pleasure that my friends at school indulge and we could laugh about. But now I’m moving to a university college and I’m worried that other students will think I’m too girlish or too much of a tweenager.What should I do? - Emily

Emily, there’s no shame in a Dolly subscription. Where else could you find solutions to dilemmas such as ‘I have hair between my toes’ or ‘My boobs are so weird, one is a B cup and one is an AA cup’ or ‘Do you have to get a pap smear every time you have sex?’ Quite honestly, you’ll find that a lot of college students will take any excuse to flaunt their childish streak. Finding Nemo movie nights aren’t uncommon (although less common than Lion King movie nights, for obvious reasons). They’ll try to obscure this strange personality feature through drinking and Walkabout (you’ll learn soon enough) and drinking and not going to lectures and drinking. But once the pages of Dolly Doctor are open, who can resist crowding around to find out the answer to ‘How big does a guy’s penis get when erect? If it’s like 50cm, where does it all go during sex?’


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BULL Magazine 2013 Issue 1