$9---o---o ---u Says the Fire-Chief

(Vith Apolosies to Texoco)

Bv V. Ernest Field Director Fire Prevention Sewice Associated Lumber Mutuals

The shriek of the siren, applause and roars of laughter marked the end of another Fire Chief program. Our own laughs swelled with those that came in over the air from the audience in the theater, as Mary shut off the radio and I settled back in my easy chair to browse my way through the evening paper.

War debts, disarmament, Senate bucks President, Japanese invasions, gangster fights, kidnapings, crop failures, taxes, airplane crashes, automobile accidents, fires-trouble, trouble, trouble. 'Well, it's all in the day's news and it's human nature to want to know all about everything, but personally I'd rather smile and laugh over the foolishness of Jack Benny, Baron Munchausen, Eddie Cantor, Will Rogers and the irrepressible Fire Chief.

The thought was scarcely fully formulated in my brain, when, as if in direct answer to it, came the familiar shriek of the siren from the radio. I sat up with a start.

"What the heck?" said I. "Is it an encore? an imitator? or am I just going nuts?"

"Sometimes," sweetly murmured the good wife, "I think the last suggestion might be true, but I don't believe it has anything to do with the radio program."

."fIuh," I ejaculated, and proceeded to listen for the announcement.

"Pay-'em Back-to-me-\Ma, wa, wa, wa-and the FireChief Hugh Winn-Wa, rva, wa, wa."

You can't reproduce it properly in words and type but you know the familiar cadence.

"Gosh, I believe I am nutty," I murmured, and the wife nodded as if in complete assent.

"Hello, chief. Milhty glad to see you back so soon. Must be a surprise to you."

"It certainly is, Graham-Pay-'em, I mean. Blest if I know what it's all about."

"Well, chief, I'll tell you. Some folks I work f61-" ttYes, yes, so I've heard."

"You work, Pay-'em. You surprise me. I didn't know that. Wonderful-wonderful."

. "Yes, chief, I work-and don't believs I den'1-for the Associated Lumber Mutuals."

"You don't say, Pay-'em, You amaze me."

"It's like this, chief. Their business is fire insurance."

. "Since you are both interested in fires, they asked me to trring you up to the microphone again and let you tell the world what you think about fire prevention."

"Why, it's a good idea, Graham-pay-'srn, I mean. Just think. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could prevent anyone from being fired. Everyone would be sure of his job. There wouldn't be any unemployment. Really I think it's a capital idea. I'm for it."

"I'm afraid you misunderstand, chief. That's not what

I mean. I'm talking about the prevention of fire-it has nothing to do with employment."

"Oh, I see. You mean fire that burns-that you start rvith a match, or a cigarette. But you're wrong, Pay-'em, when you say it has nothing to do with employment. Every big fire means men thrown out of employment. One of the important ways of preventing a man from being fired-or losing his job-is to prevent a fire in the plant where he is employed. They're really almost the same thing, after all."

"I guess you're right, chief."

"Of course I'm right, Graham-Pay-'em, I mean. Say, why have they switched your name on me, anyway? I don't seem to keep things straight at all."

"Perfectly simple, chief. You see, one of the things insurance companies are supposed to do is to pay losses. In my 'q7g1l<-" ttNo.t'

"Don't make me laugh. I still can't swallow that idea of you working."

"In my work for the Associated Lumber Mutuals, they call me 'Pay-'em Back-to-me,' meaning that I pay back to the policy-holders the value of whatever may be destroyed."

"Clever, isn't it? You didn't think of that, did youPay-'em ?"

"I didn't think so. That would have surprised me. And that's a good idea about paying losses, too. That's the kind of insurance I'd like to have."

"That isn't all they pay, chief. They pay dividends to the policy-holders-even those that don't have any fires."

"Mercy, Pay-'em. Ifow can they do that?"

"Economical management, for one thing, and then this idea of fire prevention. Every fire they prevent, means one less loss to pay, and what they save on losses swells the earnings from which the dividends are paid."

"It sounds simple, doesn't it, Pay-'em ? Even I can understand that. And these dividends-the policy-holders really get them?"

"Absolutely, chief."

"Marvelous. I thought a dividend was something that you were promised, but that you really didn't get. At least that's been my experience during the last two or three years."

"Mine too, chief-but these are dividends that are really paid."

"Mighty interesting, Pay-'em. That's another good point about the prevention of a fire."

"Certainly. If you have a fire, the loss claim is paid, although that doesn't actually begin to cover all the loss. If you don't have a fire-in other words, if you prevent a loss-your plant keeps on running, your men are kept in employment, and, on top of all that, you get a substantial "I don't knorv, chief. Why is a fire extinguisher like a part of your insurance money back in dividends. It pays kimono ?" to prevent fires."

"Ha, ha, ha, Pay-'em. I know you'll just die at this.

"You don't need to sell me, Pay-'em. I said I was for It's a mighty good thing to have around for an emergency. fire prevention right at the start. I believe in keeping a Do you get it, Pay-'em ? Isn't that a good one ?" clean yard-no rubbish, no shavings, no dried grass-so "Yes, chief, that is good-a lot of truth in it, too. Now, that sparks can't start a fire. I believe in safe metal waste I've got one for you, chief. It's not a conundrum, it's a cans for oily waste and rags, and metal lockers for greasy little story. A teacher asked a little Jewish boy-'If you clothing. I believe in frequent inspection of electric lvires had eight pennies and lost three, how many would you to prevent worn insulation and short circuits. I believe in have left?' The boy looked puzzled, scratched his head making sure that flues, heating pipes, furnaces, stoves, etc., and said, 'But why should I lose three pennies ?' " are safe. I believe in good fences to keep trespassers out. "Oh, that is good, Pay-'em. That's a kid after my own I believe in rules against smoking in the yards." heart. Why should he iose three pennies ? Why should

"Yes, chief, matches and cigarettes can do a lot of dam- we have so many fires? There isn't any sense to it, is age. You know, a burning cigarette lvon't go out until there, Pay-'em ?" it is completely consumed."

"Not a bit, chie{. Three out of every four fires are ab-

"So I've heard, Pay-'em. Wonder why someone doesn't solutely preventable " invent a cigarette that will put itself out. Not a fire in a "Terrible, isn't it, Pay-'em ? My, my, my, such carelesscarload. Your insurance companies would endorse that, ness. It doesn't seem possible, does it ? Fires are expen- wouldn't they?" sive, aren't they?"

"I'll say they would, chief. More fires are caused by burning cigarettes than any other single thing."

"Too bad, Graham-there I go again. We'll have to see if we can't do something about that."

"They certainly are, chief."

"And you say we could prevent three out of four fires, if we were careful ?"

"That's right."

"And then there are fire extinguishers, chief. Every plant "$6-6s-s-Fire prevention does pay, doesn't it?" should have plenty of fire extinguishers to keep little fires "Positively, chief." from becoming big ones."

"Well, count me in, Pay-'em. What do you say, you

"I was hoping you'd say something about fire extin- boys in the lumber business? Let's line up for more and guishers, Pay-'em. I've got a good conundrum for you. better fire prevention. There's no use in sending go.od Why is a fire extinguisher like a kimono ? Oh, this is a money up in smoke." good one' ray- em'

That was all I heard as Mary wakenecl me up before the final siren sounded. I rubbed my eyes and grinned as I told h'er about the extra broadcast.

"Good old Fire-Chief," said I. "You certainly scored again. I'll have to pass it on to the boys."

Visits Bay District

L. H. Ferrill, of the Eureka office of the Dolbeer & Carson Lumber Co., recently spent several days in the San Francisco Bay district visiting friends.

Attends Kiwanian Convention

Three Out of Four Are Preventable Fires

!7hen every economy counts, it's good business to prevent every 6re possible, ft's good economy too to insure against unprevent' able 6res with Associated Lumber Mutual policies, which assure quality protection, fair adjustments and prompt payment of claims -qllifi sslsi3ntial dividends to reduce actual insurance cost.

Vrite any of our Companies about our protection and saoing, as applied to your insurance need,s,

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E. S. Case, Vallejo Lumber Co., Vallejo, Calif., attended the Kiwanian conventiou at Los Angeles during the rveek of June 25.