ASK INLAND ABOUT NASSAU IN'69

OMETIMES men who difier radically on one subject are close together on another. Take the case of Robert G. Ingersoll, the great and most eloquent o{ agnostics, and Rev. Sam Jones, a Southern divine. Both gave colleges fits whenever opportunity arose.

Ingersoll once referred to colleges as "places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed." Jones used to say that he would not send his sons to college because he would prefer to have them o'reading the alphabet in heaven than reading Greek in hell."

A young lady from Wilmington, Delaware, Of the high cost of living was welaware. Said she, ool suppose I can save on mv clothes: I don't care a damn what the helaware."

"There's no use t.lkingl *u.l,," .tu t.. Brown, looking up from the evening paper, o'it pays to be honest. If a man steals he will regret it."

"During our youth, John," replied his wife, "you used to steal kisses from me.tt

"Well," said the husband, "you heard what I said."

BY JACK DIONNE

r882-1966

A man called at a Chinese laundry for his clothes. On receiving the package he noticed some Chinese marks upon the bundle. Pointing to them he said to the man, o'My name, I suppose, in Chinese?"

"No name. 'Scliption," replied the Chinaman, "say 'Lil ol' man, closs-eyed, no teet.' "

A Real One

Teacher: "Johnnie, can you tell me what a hypocrite is?" Johnnie: o'Yes'm; it's a boy that comes to school with a smile on hisface." * * *

The faddist, with the boundless enthusiasm of his kind, was haranguing the crowd on the benefits to be derived'from a certain system of eating and dieting.

"Friends," he cried, o'two years ago I was a walking skeleton, a haggard, miserable wreck. What do you suppose brought about this great change in me?"

He then paused to see the efiect of his words. Then a voice arose from the crowd, "W'ot change?"

Those whom the Gods i"o,rta- a"*rrly they first make madabout a woman. Then SHE finishes the iob.