HOME GENTEM MERGHANT

BILL FISHMAN

Bill Fishman & Affiliates 11650 lberia Place San Diego, Ca.92128

Inffn 35 years as a do-ir-your- F selfer, I've collected quite an array of bargain hand and power tools. My garage boasts three electric drills, including one battery operated, a glue gun and three rusting toolboxes loaded with screwdrivers, hammers, drill bits, pliers, wrenches, single blade razor blades, two broken pencils and an assortment of files.

In the garage cabinet drawers, I have jars filled with collections of nails, tacks, screws, bolts, nuts, washers. molleys, picture hooks, tape, twine and a lot of miscellaneous hardware that never quite made it to the garbage can.

During the winter months I normally won't touch any project that isn't small enough for the top of the garage work table. But, after the first warm weekend in the spring, my collar turns blue. I'm out there staining redwood, cutting back overgrowth, mending fences and spray painting the outdoor grill.

One early spring Saturday afternoon, Donna and I stopped at a local Kmart for a replacement seat for my stationary exercise bike. As we walked down the power aisle, I was stopped by a sale sign on a Turco barbecue gritlregularly $239 - sale priced at $169. It was a beauty. Our old barbecue has a low BTU rating and takes forever to broil Donna's well done beef. "Let's get it," I volunteered. Donna was willing . but Kmart wasn't. I was informed that it was backordered. I was shown how to fill out my own two-part rain check and told that I would receive a card in the mail when it was back in stock.

A few hours later, we passed another Kmart and took a chance that maybe they had one in stock. No luck. But, the duty manager offered the floor model. "Fabulous," I thought. But, it was not to be. I'm one of 12 people in California that doesn't drive a pickup truck and a $239 barbecue cannot fit in the trunk of any car. So here, too, I filled out a rain check.

It was the Sunday of the following week that I found myself on the road of the second Kmart in my story. I stopped in to inquire about news of back orders. This time, two sealed cartons of their inventory now ticketed at $217 were visible on the floor. I spoke to the duty manager and although he had no way of getting into the "rain check fiIe," he allowed me to have one barbecue at last week's sale price. I reached home at 3:30 p.m. We were not yet on daylight saving time, so I figured I had about three hours of daylight in which to work outside to completely assemble the unit. How wrong I was.

Turco model 87541 has 275 parts including 53 screws, 39 bolts, 36 nuts, 38 washers and 2 axle caps. It took Donna and me one hour to get to Step 2 of 29 steps. Most of the first hour was devoted to unpacking the pieces and attempting to understand Step No. l. By 6:45 we were working by flashlight. At 7:00 p.m. we moved everything inside to get out of the cold night air. At midnight, I discovered that rhe frame that held the bottom casting was slightly bent and that the screws could